The Shintaro Higashi Show - Say hello to a special guest: Midjitsu?

Episode Date: May 5, 2025

David Kim is coming onboard to help with the podcast! He discusses balancing family life with martial arts training, his jiu-jitsu journey as a middle-aged practitioner, and his "midjitsu" persona focused on helping older grapplers. David shares insights on marriage, training philosophy, and how he manages to train consistently while raising four children. David will be a recurring special guest on the show.Join my Patreon for:✅ 1-on-1 video call coaching✅ Exclusive technique breakdowns✅ Direct Q&A access✅ Behind-the-scenes training footage🔗 Subscribe & Support Here: https://www.patreon.com/shintaro_higashi_show Links:🇯🇵 Kokushi Budo Institute (The Dojo) Class Schedule in New York, NY 🗽: https://www.kokushibudo.com/schedule🇯🇵 Higashi Brand Merch & Instructionals: https://www.higashibrand.com📚 Shintari Higashi x BJJ Fanatics Judo Courses & Instructionals Collection: https://bjjfanatics.com/collections/shintaro-higashi/David Kim Instagram: @midjitsu David Kim YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@midjitsu

A lot of times those marriages kind of you know Right have some troubles right the only reason I went to that tournament was to hit that throw Hello everyone welcome to the Shintaro Higashi show we have a very special guest I feel like you guys are gonna be like wow this guy is the most relatable guy. I have David Kim Jujitsu guy four kids I have David Kim, jujitsu guy, four kids, married with four kids, coming to train multiple times a week. How do you do it, David?

I mean, I'm incredibly organized. I'm incredibly handsome. You know, I can do it all. No, I just have an understanding wife. I think she realizes that, you know, we all need our outlet, you know, and I think she does. And all need our outlet. And I think she does. And all my family trains,

so also makes it a little bit easier. When I found out my last child, I was gonna have a daughter. That's sort of when everything started. All right, so you have four kids, you have a wife, and then you're like, all right, my daughter's born. I'm gonna get the whole family into martial arts. jiu-jitsu why bjj why not judo because there's judo out there yeah no that's true well some of it goes back to you know that experience uh back in the 90s right

i mean and that's something i'd always kept an eye on and just never did so i think that was part of it. Also, I just felt like judo is a very like highly dynamic sport, you know, by the time I was starting, I was in my 40s. And I was like, you know, when I just start with the one where I can, you know, we're on the ground already, as opposed to me getting like, you know, bombed into the ground. And so how long you've been doing J jujitsu. How long has it been? It's been nine almost nine years eight years eight years. Oh, it's a training. That's pretty good. Yeah, if you run yes and then so What is the secret to like communicating to your wife? Like hey, you know cuz I'm sure people listening to this like bra, you know, and I get guys in my gym too. It's like I haven't seen you in two weeks, man And he's like, yeah, you know

We have to do this on Friday and the in-laws were in town and I had to do that and I have to do that And then on the contrary, there's guys are like I tell my wife Monday Wednesdays and Fridays 6 to 9 p.m I'm going to this thing and a lot of the times those marriages kind of you know Right have some troubles, right? Sneaking out. Yeah, you kind of see the frequency of training and, you know, where you are in that marriage cycle, right? How do you manage all that?

Let's talk about that. Well, okay. It's so relatable. Yeah, some of the pressure is off because I work from home. So I control my own schedule. That makes a huge difference. You know, that's probably 90% of it, right? But she's a blue belt.

So she understands. I mean, she's also a former athlete. She played tennis in college. So she understands. She's sympathetic. And actually, I think she was very happy when I said, she was the one actually, you always wanted to do this before our daughter was born.

You always wanted to do this. She was actually, you know, found like a local gym. But at that time I was working, you know, 12 hours a day. I'm like, I'm too fricking tired to do this. But when my, you know, professional situation changed, that's when I was able to go after it full force. Interesting. Was there a trade off? Like, all right, you get to do this, but I get an Equinox membership and a personal trainer

and I get to go to the girls' festival. There's got to be, right? We have to coordinate. I mean, we definitely have to coordinate. Of course. Yeah, we have four kids. Yeah? I mean, we definitely have to coordinate. Of course, yeah, we have four kids. Yeah, I mean, we joke about it. I think we joke about it, but, you know, again, because, you know, I'm training,

basically when no one cares where I am, you know, whether it's a kid or one of my kids or, you know, my wife, you know, again, we avoid a lot of that conflict. But sometimes if there's special events, like, I don't know, two time Olympic champion swings by for a seminar or something like that. Yeah, that's why you were there for that. Yeah, there is some coordination that needs to happen. Okay, so when people hear mid-jitsu, he has four kids and he's doing grappling,

they probably think like, all right, he picks up all the kids from school, you do their homework, all right, 5 p.m., we're all going to take this class at the jiu-jitsu school. It's not like that. No, no, not at all. I mean, so my two oldest... So you don't actually train with the kids? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's talk about that, because you know it's like when people hear certain things, they're like, ah, you know, it is this way, that way. My two oldest, they're wrestling now.

You know, the two younger ones are still doing jiu-jitsu. So I just wanted them in the mix, but I think they need a break from me too, you know, because I'm, you know know kind of your stereotypical You're an Asian dad. Yes Harvard yes, I did We upgraded from Peter Peter Princeton Now we got a Harvard guy running this thing, you know, I don't know I don't know

Princeton's pretty good. But okay, but yeah, so they need a break. I need a break. And, and this is just meant to be just the family. This is what the family does as like a hobby. Got you. And then do you guys talk about you too? Like, do you have you have mats back there? Right? Yes. Unfortunately, my grand plan to turn this room into a pure training facility sort of got taken over by, as you can see, a couch and a desk and a TV. Because I think by the time, like my sons who are wrestling, they sort of appreciated the fact that we had this mat downstairs. right around that, right before they came to that realization, my wife said, you know,

there's a lot of space down there, we should probably use it for something. And so she got to it first. Interesting, interesting. But do you guys train together ever? Like do you guys do like, all right guys, we're gonna go to this open mat, like, you know, like this open mat on Saturdays and stuff?

Yeah. I just saw you out with none of your family members. No. Sometimes you gotta save things for yourself, Shintaro. Jiu-Jitsu is for you. Jiu-Jitsu is for you, right? Yes, when I train, it's for me. Obviously, generally, it's for everyone.

When my wife was training, she has some back problems, so we would train together. And my son, since they're older and wrestling, we don't train as much together, right? And my two younger ones are so young, it sort of doesn't make sense for me to be training with them anyway. So we're sort of in this gray area now.

But I'm hoping that when we come back, well, let's say they go to college, all come back that's when it's like hey yo let's go hit the open mat guys let's go terrorize you get a B plus in math yeah that's right well I don't want to make it physical because he's getting he's getting pretty strong you know a few more years and I'm not gonna be able to handle it so yeah all right so what was it like starting Jiu Jitsu in your 40s? Your purple belt now, 10 years. Yeah.

Try it out. Judo hated it. Oh, no, I didn't hate advice about I didn't hate it. I am Korean. So, you know, I was always a I was a fan. I was a fan, but it was sort of what I expected. You know, I think if you just take the time to sort of visualize what's going to happen, even if you don't know that much,

I think there's a difference between people who have done at least something athletic rather than somebody who's just coming, you know, who was sort of sedentary their whole life and hitting the mat. You did some sports. Yeah, I mean, I swam. I did. I was in the boxing club, like in college, you know, so nothing like nothing good. I wasn't good at anything, you know, but I, you know, I did it. But it definitely even now between the time I started and now I can feel like there's a big difference, you know, because I started when I was like 42, 43,

you know, and obviously I'm in my 50s now. So even in that time, I've seen a difference in sort of how it feels and recovery time and stuff like that. But really it was the first six months that was the worst, to be honest with you. Because I was like a log rolling out of bed, everything hurt, my hands hurt, my joints,

like every joint hurt. But you were already in good shape though, because you said you were in really bad shape. No, I was in terrible shape. I was in terrible shape when I started. But it was so fun that I just sort of didn't mind it, I guess. All right, so 10 years go by,

and you're always exploring new ideas, and you're not just kind of, that's what is most impressive about you from my perspective, is you're not just going in and just kind of Taking the classes. That's it. You're thinking about it all the time, you know, you're a very educated Harvard man entrepreneurial owns your own business tech guy So you're kind of thinking of ways to improve the system new workflows All this stuff so after 10 years if you could go back and give yourself advice for

how to accelerate your judici training as a fat 43 year old non-athlete, what would be the advice for your old self? Which I'm sure everyone who's listening to this can kind of get something out of that, you know? So what would be your advice? Yeah, I mean, I think the advice would be similar to kind of any technical thing you're doing, whether it's like learning how to play an instrument or learning how to dance or whatever. But, you know, having being a little bit more goal-oriented, like having something. This is something nothing that you wouldn't have heard before.

But also like think smaller. So I think at the beginning, think smaller. So like the scope of what you're trying to do, because I think a lot of times, particularly for me when I was first starting, it's like, I got to pass the guard. I got to, you know, maintain this guard position, right? It's like a big job, you know, to like, just pass the guard. Whereas maybe the job, you know, maybe the thought should be, Hey, I'm just trying to get to headquarters or I'm, I'm trying to get my knee behind his hamstring, like smaller goals. Otherwise, you know, you rush, you, you sort of get tangled up. You don't really know what you're doing anyway. And so, and if you have a good coach who can help you with that, it makes it a lot easier. Cause I remember when I was starting, it was just a lot of rolling, to be honest with you.

Yeah, for sure, yeah. Like, yeah, we did some technique, but you know, it was just like, it wasn't that long ago, but it was very different, even then, because he he just he just rolled But you get a nice feel for things too when you're just kind of rolling But you know when you're kind of confused and just going in there and winging it and taking a beating you feel like you're not Progressing but you know a lot of the times you are just kind of getting the feel for what feels good

What doesn't feel good and you have a little bit of experience now with this? Constraint led approach and ecological approach because you go to a guy, Jeff Morris, who I interviewed recently. What's your take on that? Because you've experienced all of it. Old school, jujitsu teacher, somewhat of like the traditional, but like the most standard kind of a thing, you know, at whatever jujitsu school, and now you have this new wave, sort of new age, you know, thing, so what is your take on that? Yeah, I mean, one, I don't think it's, I don't think it should be like a controversial topic at all.

It's not. Because, you know, people train in all sorts of different ways, this one just happens to have a very strong branding associated with it. I like it, you know, because I think, and I actually think it's better for beginners. I know a lot of people say, how do you teach like, how do you teach a beginner? They don't know anything. But I think there's a lot of leverage in the, in the approach for beginners, because you're sort of reducing the information they have to deal with while providing them the context

and developing the intuition they need to navigate a human body. It's sort of like in programming, right? You have a procedural way of programming and declarative. Procedural is like what you know, like, hey, you do this, you do this, you do this, you do this, you do this. Whereas the declarative know, like, hey, you do this, you do this, you do this, you do this, you do this. Whereas, you know, the declarative way is like, okay, these are basically

the goals. You sort of figure out like you sort of figure out how to do it. Right. And that's, that's basically all it is. It's different perspective, I think. So, so I actually really enjoy it. And I do think just from like an old person who like needs to get a workout you know like yeah I do think it's more efficient because there are you're working the entire class yes and then you know what what he said was amazing was they cover every single position right almost right all of grappling a little bit of stand up a little bit of guard passing a little bit of open guard from bottom guard retention Keeping the right all these things that I'm like, wow, that's kind of interesting

Because when you have just the rolling and then you just end up in bottom side control the whole time You really not getting much out of you just help being held down there and just taking a beating and just tapping in the arms And yes, people might say like oh you have to work on defense first But you know, it's a whole thing, you know And then from a perspective of like an older guy who just wants to get a workout in, you know, it scratches that issue, right? Yes, 100%. And it is, I do think it's, it's a way to be live and still safe, because you're in

a, your, your, your box is small. So you're never going to like, if you working that side control escape, or whatever it is, you know, no one is gonna be like jumping a leg lock, you know what I mean? Like a lot of those situations are not gonna happen because you're constrained. Constraints, C-L-A. Yeah, okay, so you have a Instagram channel

that you're kind of trying to promote with the jujitsu stuff. It's called Mid Jitsu. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. Mid Jitsu. It's a name I came up with mostly as a joke because I'm middle-aged. I'm a middle belt, a rebel belt. And my jujitsu is sort of mid, right? It's like very average, you know jujitsu I would say it's better than average. Oh, yeah, you're a good guy man. You're a good guy. I appreciate it but um But also, you know, i'm in a couple of uh, you know groups you know on the internet

And uh, you know with some older grapplers and and they're all you and as it's grown in popularity, you have more people sort of trying it out. A lot of the problems they have are very common and so I'm just trying to... Very common. Yeah, very common problems. You know, stuff that I dealt with as well when I started. So I just sort of threw it out there as just sort of a reference for those types of people because, you know, a lot of them are getting smashed by like 20 year olds, 30 year olds, right?

You know, like they're, you know, they're 20 years older than a lot of the people that they're rolling with. And so, but they still remember, you know, being an athlete or what have you. And in their, you know, they're really like sometimes struggle with like doing the calculus. I'm like, well, you know, I'm a, you know, I'm a white belt, purple, like blue belt, purple, like whatever belt, right? Even brown belts, right? I'm like, oh man, I don't know if I could, should keep doing this. I'm getting, yeah, there's always that battle. Yes. And then, you know, I should keep doing this. I'm getting, I'm just getting my ass kicked. There's always that battle, yes.

And then you wanna keep training. If you guys are listening and you're in that demographic and you want mentorship, video chats, one-to-one teaching, you could sign up for my Patreon. We have a whole membership tiered structured thing. You could have live calls with me. You could chat with me. You could do really anything, very flexible, right?

So please check out my Patreon page. You like how I slip that in there? That was beautiful. I I can see the experience shining through. Yeah So you're kind of sort of coming on to this now also as Peter has left. Yeah, and what is your relation to Peter you guys? relatives or yeah No, no I wish. I wish. He's such a good guy. What clan are you from? That's a big one. Whatever clan he's from, I'm sure it outranks mine. No, I mean really I met Peter through you so I just like the guy. I think he's a sweetheart. And you know so I just like the guy, I think he's a sweetheart.

And I have a lot of respect for him, and he's a super smart guy, I mean you can't do what he's doing without being a dedicated person. Yeah, PhD in machine learning. Yeah, so. Pivot into that space as well with your businesses, right? A little bit, yeah, we're doing a lot of experiments

with the technology, obviously there's billions of dollars yeah. We're doing a lot of experiments with the technology. Obviously, there's billions of dollars going into that, so we're not going to be doing the fundamental research. But I think there's a lot of opportunity there. So we're looking into it. So you guys might see more of David coming on. Definitely a lot of value add in front of the camera. Look how good looking this guy is.

He has good jujitsu also, and I've been trying to get him to do a little bit more judo. Yeah, I love judo. I'm a huge fan. I'm just trying to figure... Yes, I am. It's just terrifying when I... It's scary. Yeah, when I go to Randoria, I just see all those entangled legs on almost falling bodies. I'm just sort of like eeeesh. But you know, you're a great case study for a lot of guys who have done Jiu Jitsu for a little while who want to do a little bit of Judo, because now you're sort of branded

as the guy in the room as David's got good stand up. Right. And you didn't do that much Judo. That is 100% correct. Judo. No, that, that, and yep, that is a hundred percent correct because obviously our friendship to like he's yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. That she has smeared on me, you know, but, but, um, no, I think a little bit goes a long way a hundred percent, like even just understanding the group fight has made a huge difference. I mean, in terms of the execution of the throws, I think there's, you know, obviously still a gap there. But even just control, especially as an older grappler, getting to those dominant grips is such a security blanket. Because now you know, there's not much this guy can do to me here. Right? Just like in Jiu Jitsu, you have these positions, right? Like I'm in

side control. You know side control is better than being in the guard, right? And they're very gross. Gross not meaning disgusting, but gross. Like they're very obvious position changes. Whereas in Judo, I feel like the position changes are much more compact and can be more fleeting and can be harder to identify. But if you do understand it, as a jiu-jitsu person playing in the gi, I feel so much more comfortable staying on my feet rather than just immediately pulling guard because I know when I'm safe, I know I'm in danger, I know when I'm in an offensive sort of situation. So thank you for that. And you too can, yes, you're very welcome. And if you're listening, you too can have that experience by signing up for the Patreon, obviously.

And then you competed in a tournament, then you ripped some Tomonagis too. I remember you got some good ones, right? Can we clip that in? Do you have access to that still? Yes, I can clip that in. You're highly organized, so I'm sure you have

Terabytes of data I worked with you once on your kutumon aging I went to tournament hit it and I had the the funny thing about that was I had the adrenaline dump after I hit that throw Instead of before the match because I was like, holy smokes. I Actually hit this throw I hit it clean. I proceeded to lose the match because I was like holy smokes I actually hit this throw I hit it clean I proceeded to lose the match but I did hit the throw. The problem is you only get two points for that. Yeah but I didn't care because that's the only reason I went to that tournament was to hit that throw. Wow I love that. That's why I went to that tournament so yeah I was you know I was ecstatic and then why I went to that tournament. So I was ecstatic. And then I immediately went to that tournament.

It's amazing that you're out there competing still sometimes. It's kind of amazing. Yeah, I mean, it's not that often. And I'm not going to Worlds or what have you. I do have an injury to my neck. So I did promise my wife that I wouldn't compete after. You're injured? We worked out on Saturday.

No, no, no, no, no, no like it's an old. It's not I was injured so I have two fake discs in my neck Did I never tell you this I? Think you may be have now I feel bad. I had you in a guillotine. I was kind of cranking on your neck No, I would tap but you used looked out your defense is really good No, I would tap. You slipped out. Your defense is really good. But you know what? You've got to remind people of that stuff because it could have been the difference

between like, oh, you know what? Let me give it a little bit of action to finish it. Extra, yeah. That's true. And that could have been the difference of you being sidelined for a couple weeks or months or whatever it is. Well, the neck is fine now. I mean, the neck's fine.

I had surgery. I just got two fake discs. You would literally have to break my neck to get Them out so I'm not actually that worried about it. It's just Once I had the surgery I promised my wife I wouldn't compete so I snuck in a couple but Yeah, but you know, let's just say for instance tonight you woke up to your wife You know, I had a conversation. I want to compete in the New York Open would she say like No, I I think in the New York Open. Would she say like, no?

I think we'd have a discussion. I think we'd have a discussion about it because it's not really about no or yes. Of course, yeah. I made that commitment. So it's really about, do I want to try to weasel out of that commitment or stand up to that commitment? That's how I look at it. And is it important enough to me to renegotiate the deal?

Sort of like Darth Vader, you know? I've all just did for that one thing. It's like, honey, I, you know, made this thing to you, but I really want to Yeah. That I learned yesterday from this guy that I've been hanging out with at the dojo. Like what, you know? Yeah.jo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you have no idea how much I want to throw some dudes. But anyway.

So what is the secret to a long lasting healthy marriage? For all the mid-grapplers out there struggling through relationship issues, this is a really common one. You see it. Yeah, well, unfortunately, I think it's an upfront problem. You gotta marry the right person. That's after being married this long. I just feel like it's all decided there. You know, like if you sort of marry the wrong person,

it's just gonna be hard. Like, you know, no matter what, it's gonna be hard. And you know, you can make it work, right? It'll be a lot of work. And it's not like we don't have problems. We definitely have our problems. But I think you gotta sort of know who you're literally, you know, this is probably going to sound bad,

but yeah, who you're getting into bed with, you know, I mean, because, you know, it's just, you know, people are who they are. They can change on the margin, I feel like, and, you know, because you love someone, there are things that you maybe, you know, you want to change, but there's that core personality in there.

Unless someone has some kind of epiphany, you know, and they completely change, you know, their personality, which is also, I feel like kind of, I don't know if it's a red flag or not, you know, in terms of the type of personality. All right, here we go. Interesting question. You're such a smart guy. Marriage and grappling. Similarities. Same question. You're such a smart guy. Marriage and grappling, similarities. Similarities between marriage and grappling. I'm trying to think of a good analogy because I think in both, you're trying to ride a wave.

Because there are times when everything is good. I'm in the zone, the relationship is in the zone, my jujitsu's in the zone, and I can get to where I want to be, everyone's having fun, and then there are times where nothing, yeah, like I am passing guys, no problem, I'm getting to my positions, no problem, it doesn't happen that often, but you know what I'm saying, like within the constraints of what you can reasonably expect, things are going well.

But then there are days or weeks or months where nothing is working, right? Nothing is working. It's like you're falling down the stairs, chin first all the time, and you just can't seem to get out of a rut. Why do you chew your food like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's all sorts of things like that, you know, and things that get under your skin. And so I just feel like, generally speaking, you gotta try, it's sort of the same persistence, right? You gotta stay in there. You gotta accept that, you know, it's maybe bad now, but it's going to get better and sort of have that faith. Because like in Jiu Jitsu, you have that sort of faith, especially if you have experience,

like, look, it sucks now. Nothing's working. But it's not going to be forever. And I think in the marriage, you got to have the same attitude. Because if you don't, that's when things start going wrong you know I think not that I'm an expert but as my wife would happily tell you I'm not an expert husband so this is a great chance for me to say thank you to our sponsors Hacween.ai, Drew, Jason, LeVon thank you very much for your continued support you can support me also

by going to Patreon and signing up for some of my membership tiers, which involve video chatting, one-to-one mentorship, etc. So thank you very much for that. If you guys are interested in supporting the channel as well, you can also send a message to Midjitsu, and then we're going to be seeing more of you, hopefully. Yeah, yeah. Thank you for being here, David. Thank you very much. Thank you.