The Show - 9 TO 5

Episode Date: September 25, 2026

No recaps on Friday shows, but it’s Dolly Day so celebrate the queen by being a good person today!

We interrupt this program. Previously, critics had brailed against the duo as crude, dumb, ugly, thoughtless, sexist, self-destructive, and foolish. They are not part of the legitimate business world. What they do is they celebrate underachievement. And all candor, I would tell you it's outrageous, Phil. And if I could find some way constitutionally to do away with it, I would. What was that? What was that?

Hold on. We don't have audio on Twitch. Stand by. Oh. I don't know why, but we know. Interesting. What was that? Yeah, I don't know.

Was that the white socks? Yeah. All right. Is that? That's funny. Yeah. Everybody hang tight. Oh.

Is it that thing again where you got to? Hold on. Is this right? Yeah. All right. All right. Oh, wait. Hold on.

There we go. Oh. Just give. Let me start the show again. Who does it say it was Miracawi or whatever? Munitaka, Miramacca. Yeah, one of their... It's a rookie that just blasted dingers all year, dude.

Blast the dingers all year. I'm rooting for them. Like I was saying, before we started, once the Braves inevitably disappoint me in the first round of the playoffs because we don't have pitching, we just put our second best guy back on the IL. Very nice. I'll start rooting for the White Sox.

The White Sox beat the Royals, clinch a playoff spot after three 100 lost seasons in a row. They were like the worst team in baseball last year. Never give up your dreams, kids. Never give up your dreams. They've been extremely fun to watch all year. Their pitching's been fun. Their hitters are good. They play good baseball. It's really good defense. They're a threat. All right.

October baseball fever, catch it. So who do we have in our, in our, the belt? Who's going to get the belt? Is it over? No, we got a couple days left. and I don't want to jinx anything because, again, remember, this time last year or last week, I was up 10 nothing. Yes, he was. Yes, he was.

It's Friday, remember? Hello? And it ends Sunday after all the games. I was up 10. Here, guys, guys, guys. 10 to nothing. We're in the, we're in the, a week ago today. We are in the truck headed down to the city.

And Twitch, can you hear us? Nobody has typed anything since I fixed this. sound. Can you hear us? Are we good? We're in the truck heading down to the city. And Cody leans over to me and shows me his phone. He says, I want you to remember this for when I'm inevitably very mad on Monday. And he showed me his score and it was 10 to zero. And then come Monday. Yeah, he'd lost. I had lost. Okay. So go ahead and say what you're going to say.

Right now, Kahn is up 7 to 3 over our buddy Derby, bro. A derby is in Twitch on the reg. So we've got ourselves a matchup. But let me see. If there's, he's creeping, though, bro. See, if there's one that he could take, so that would be seven to four. There's another seven to five. Yeah, seven to six.

I could see it at seven to six. Seven to six. Is have himself a little. Okay. All right. Listen, one thing I know, Cody, about the average person is not only, do they love fantasy sports. They love talking fantasy

baseball. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right, we can. So, when you want... So I'm in the third place game. Uh-huh. I'll go ahead. Uh-huh. So right now, no, I'm just kidding. I stopped even setting my line up. I'm, I gave up once you'll lose you. So, ahoy, hoie, everybody. Happy Friday. We did it. Congratulations

of the White Sox. September 25th, 2006, year of our lord. So that... Frimmyard Farm. opens tomorrow if you're looking to get your scares on. Yes. Love that.

Love that. Make me scared. Just a casual hang today, guys. We're cool. You're cool. It's chilling or is chilling. You got Apple Fest happening all weekend. Central Square's got one.

It looks like Downby You's got one. That guy. Yeah, there's a lot going on. Wow. Mm-hmm. Oh, they're doing that one too. Yeah, Central Square and Bruton. That one I've been to.

Bruton Apple Fest. That one's fun and less crowded than the Westcott Street Cultural Fair Sunday at noon. A lot going on around town. So, you know how to find us. Twitch.tv slash of the show. Seems to be working fine.

Now the show. FM. I had no idea. Treaty Oak Revival is as big of a band as they are, but that place was packed. Yeah, they're another one of those which is going to make me sound like an old fuddy-duddy. I'm used to sound in an old fuddy-duddy,

but even this one surprised me. I guess they have a bigger following than I gave them credit for. Yeah, no, that's that. They, it's one of those bands where they almost seem like a industry plant, if you will, of, all right, what can we do to get? Just another miss call. Where it's almost like, you know how like the, some of like the Korean boy bands are industry plants where they're getting raised in a factory, basically. Here we go, cloud chasing. I almost feel like that's what these guys are.

It was packed. I dropped my youngest and his friend off. and just sent them on their way. It's just, it's what you have to do with teenagers. It's really hard to do because you're like, those are your babies,

but you're just like, all right, good luck out in the world. We survived. We survived. And you send them off on that bridge because the drop off is like the pink lot and they got to walk the bridge,

whatever, they did it. They're young. God forbid, the drop off is the same as the VIP route because then it would take people, you know, a whole extra two to three seconds.

Treaty Oak Revival formed in 2018, as a cover band in Odessa, Texas, named after Treaty Oak and Austin. That's where we're real. They played the Grand Ole Opry in 24. They've had a couple of hits. They're just not on my writer. I'm not listening to Country, though.

That's probably why. No, I'm not listening to that. It seems like the high school teens like Treaty Oak Revival. My kid and all of his friends were there last night. All the parents went last night. It was a parking lot to get into there last night. Because they're doing the singing about like young kids. parties. They partying and blacked out and drunk. Yeah. We like a solo

cups. Stella. I warned him because Stella said in chat yesterday, sometimes they do a song where people start throwing beer at each other. So I go, boys, just, I guess, be careful. People start throwing beer. Just stand next to somebody who's got a good beer and stay away from people who've got like the Seagrams instead. That way you get some of the good stuff. Regardless of what, you know, the Facebook comment says, the most fights happen at country shows. Yeah.

So I'm like, guys, just watch out for fights. Please don't get, you know, mixed up in anything. They're on the lawn. So I'm like, the lawn gets a little wild out there. Just, you know, stay back, have fun. I'm glad you all enjoyed your, um, I'm glad you all enjoyed your Treaty Oak Revival last night. Who is tonight?

Because the sign on 690 says amphitheater event tonight. I thought this was the last concert. Dan and Shea. Oh, it is? Are you being, are you just saying Dan and Shea? Look at that face he's making. Because they suck so much. Hold on.

Dan it's you. He's right. Tonight. Tonight. All right. All right. Poop goes the butt. And then tomorrow is Dermott Kennedy?

Sure. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I can't. Just the other day was listening to something or there sounds like this. So I got no leg to stand on.

Bro, I have no leg to stand on. You guys like your crap. Like my crap, who cares. But it's still fun to make fun of it. You know? It's still fun to make fun of us when they hear us. You said maybe. Exactly.

Because they'll make fun of us. Exactly. We got to get our tickets today. Because we both got our links last night. So hopefully won't need yours. We got our links last night, guys. Hopefully. For those of us in the audience to our fellow Oasis fans.

Cody is in the 11 a.m. Boston window. I am in the 5 p.m. Boston window. I didn't get any to Nebworth. Oh, I didn't get it. Well, we did Vegas. We did Boston, Vegas, and Nemworth, but they only gave us Boston, which is fine. Yeah. Which is fine.

BK. Not getting greedy. He got Vegas. Did he? He got a code for Vegas. Yep. So let's see how it plays out today, man. Yeah.

You feeling confident? Yes. What's our budget going to be? What's our top end budget? Around the same. What was it last time? Was it, would have come out to $150? Yeah, I think I'll...

As long as it's around there. I'll top out. at two. I can't go any more than 200 bucks for an away to ticket. No, that's what I mean because, yeah, now because then we got to drive to Boston. Yeah, and it's no, it's no, I'm going to train of Boston and I'm jumping a gun. Like I'm less

excited. Yeah, I've seen them now. I've seen them now. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Not for Boston. Well, yeah, it's not the same where I'm like, it's life or death. Because before it was life or death. Yeah. But I meant for Boston. Yeah. No offense, Boston. I have zero interest

in Boston. Okay. The city of Boston? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. If we go to Boston, I'm not doing a turn and burn, though. I want to get a hotel. It'd be just easier because it's like, what, six hours? Five.

It's five to Gillette. So is our flight's cheaper than to drive? Yeah, but by the time you go through security and it's like, it ends up being to fly is just as much as driving. And when we're driving, we can hold hands and eat cheeseburgers. Yeah, as if it's the same time, then no, absolutely drive. Yeah. I don't know if it would.

was one of those like, oh, no, we got direct flights on Jeff Plude, Syracuse to Boston. It's an hour in 45 minutes. Good news for all of you who like us talking about Oasis all the time is that you're about to get a lot more Oasis. Okay, because now we're going to buy him today, okay? Mike Dern was selling his gear on reverb. So Mike Dirt plays bass in Green Day. Yep. And he was selling a bunch of his old bases on reverb.

And it was pretty cool. People were buying them. For a lot, though I had imagined. Not really like, like, I mean, like to me it's a lot, but like five grand. You could get Mike Dern's base. Oh, geez. That's more than I would have thought. Okay.

Yeah, it was pretty cool. And then there was one base that he had carved into it, like, basket case. He had carved into it. And then he had given it to a guy who then had sold it. And then he tracked it down and he bought it back himself. So he sold it again? No, that one he kept. Oh, I was going to say.

Learn your lesson, bud. No, there was a whole bunch of reverb videos. Reverb is like an old gear site. And there was a whole bunch of videos of him like selling bases and talking about and then getting that one back from some guy in France or whatever. Oh, good. I like that kind of stuff. Cody, speaking of music.

Oh. Oh. You know what today is, baby? Daddy Barton Day. Hey. 9.25. Oh. A couple of ambition.

I get it. I get it now. I'm an idiot. Blood starts plumping out on the streets A traffic starts jumping Folks like me on the job from nine to five I thought it was just Working nine to five

Because why? They just wanted to be Dolly Day And it's Dolly Day from nine to five I was just being an idiot I didn't understand I see it now The song buddy Well like no no I can see

But I can see now that it's 925 925 925 I wasn't Lots going on today to celebrate the queen of country music. Now, I don't know who locally is going to have free books, but there's, because of her imagination library. County Library.

It said a little thing on the news, but I don't have any other than that. Nashville will have pink lights and dolly posters around the city today. Garth Brooks Charity, Friends in Low Places, is donating to her imagination library. San Francisco will have a daytime celebration with some live music today. What do we do? I'm just doing it right.

It wasn't the most impossible thing ever. I'd say we could change our lights and shiny light to pink, but they'd be pink forever. Yeah, I could change that one. But, I mean, what else needs to be said about Dolly Parton that hasn't already been said? Right. I love that she has books. You can go out and get your books. There's a, at the pediatrician, my kids go through, there's a sign about the Dolly's imagination library.

That's just good. That's cool. People can get their books. So celebrate the Queen. out there and do some big. Just give back. It's the whole goal is to just give back today. However you can give back, give back today.

You know, that's what Dolly would have done. Although I'm seeing a lot of drama about her estate. I hope that works out. Yeah, I saw a little blurb of like the nephew that did the thing. It's like, well, it's already, we're already doing this. I don't want people fighting over Dolly's estate. Because you got it, just whatever it said, and you know that she was smart enough to have everything spelled out for everybody

that after I'm dead, here's where everything's going. So there should be no argument from anybody. No. So whatever it says, that's what goes. Sorry. Because I'm sure there's a lot of, well, even then, still, I deserve. Here's the thing about Dolly is that she employed a lot of her family because that's just what she did. Yep.

And now she's no longer alive, so they're not going to have really jobs. No. So they're probably all panicking and trying to get their cut of the pie. Yeah, she said, though, that I should get this when she goes. It's like, well, does it say it? Yeah, all right. Good luck. We love you, Dolly.

We love you. Cody, you might be sitting on a big chunk of money at that house of yours. Josh, I'm standing currently. Okay. You like goldfish crackers? Um, yes, but I've never purchased them. You know what I mean? It's one of those where it's like, oh, a thing of goldfish crackers,

bury my hand in that for a second. Yeah, it was pretty clutch because they're pretty, pretty popular, like, little baby snack. Yeah. For, like, little kids. Yep, that's an easy one. But they are really, really good. So when you have little tiny kids,

you usually have goldfish crackers in the house, but now my kids are all grown, so I don't got a little goldfish crackers. You know what else is good? Those little puff things that your kids eat. What are those? A little cereal puffs, little babies eat. Those were fun back in the day, yep.

Those were good, too. Well, I bring this up, and I'm suspicious, and generally when I'm suspicious of something, it's probably money laundering is usually the answer. Or I was to say where you go, out on the street and stare at it and get closer to it if it's suspicious. Oh, if there's something outside. Yeah. I'm going to go get nosy. I'm going to get real nosy about it. No,

sellers on eBay are listing fused goldfish cracker clusters for thousands of dollars. I could, I could see that. It's like when it's all the Doritos together. These little, just crackers that are stuck together. I thought you meant like no. Well, that's, that's the, all. Well, that's the, all. ultra rare holy grail. The ultra rare holy grail is the six cracker clump.

What? Which is currently listed for $25,000. There are people on eBay selling these little goldfish clusters thousands of dollars. Some listings have been priced as high as $25,000. I'm sorry, 25K for something I used to accidentally vacuum off the floor of my minivan. Yeah, right. So if you find two goldfish like this, you may have just hit the jackpot.

Like this one, I'm showing in the Twitch stream right now, rare four goldfish cheddar crackers stuck together. School of fish. Okay, cool. $1,500. Because now I work for an abisco. And what I'm going to do is I'm going to stop the conveyor belt before it gets to the breaky part,

because that's all that is. It doesn't make any sense. Oh, my God. Because, I mean, people never pulled out a bunch of Doritos fused together? That's just how things work when you mass produce snack foods. Yeah, like chips and crackers and stuff. We'll stick together. I mean, it'd be cool, and when it happens, it's cool.

You're like, oh, look at that. Mm-hmm. And then you eat it. You don't sell it or buy it for $2,000. I'm with chat. What's the point? Like, you buy this and then what? Cool, you got this and the potato chip that looks like Lincoln.

Now what? Right? You got the Cheeto that looks like Conan O'Brien. Now what are we doing? That's what I'm saying. Like, Katie and Chad says, is this like that Wayfair thing where you actually get sent to traffic person? Is it like some... They bought a baby.

Is school of fish code for like cocaine or something? I don't know. No. Wait, what? Huh? Sorry, huh? Like, why would you spend this much money on crackers? Is it for real?

I don't know. I guess you could list anything. Goldfish. You could list anything on eBay, whether it's a different story. Yeah. They're up there, right? This is... School of fish.

Three of them stuck together, $2.50. Yeah? Wow. But this is not a new thing. Like, in the 1900s, they used to sell Jesus' face on toast. That's what I mean. Like, it's just one of these where... And I never knew where that went either.

For a minute, people are like, oh, look. Like, oh, it's the Virgin Mary in my pancake. Give me money for it. And then somebody would. Here's more. This is the animal crackers. Four of them stuck together. $300.

Like that. I guess everyone's running to their pantries right now to see if they're sitting on money. Well, I was going to say now every time for the near future. Like listing is different than sold. Very true. Can you see if anybody has actually purchased these clumped up. crackers and... Where do you use...

I don't know. Where would that be on this? Can anybody who's better at eBay tell us? Yeah, I don't know. Because you can list, I could go in there and list, you know, my autograph for $10,000, but if nobody buys it, nobody buys it. Or you could get this cheese curd that is shaped like a goldfish cracker, $1,000. But then you don't...

I'm sorry, I'm trying to understand something that's not understandable. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't think it's... Buzz says go to fill a fill. Filter and select sold items. Can you do that? Where's... Yeah, you don't know. No, computers.

I'm sorry. Where's filter? I'm sorry, Fuzz. Your first Clubhouse celebration, rated on a scale of 1 to 10. How's it going so far? 100. Oh! How many champagne bottles have you opened so far?

Handled! What does it mean just to be able to celebrate with this team? I'm Japanese! Hell yeah. I don't care about the white socks, but I love hearing they got a... That's great. That's so funny, man. spot after three 100 lost seasons in a row.

They snag that last wild card one. Munitaka Murakami. Yeah, sure. As the interview there, I'm sorry if I butchered that name, but they've had a big turnaround, I guess, and congratulations. Fun playoffs. This is wide open. I really don't know who's going to come away with this. I mean, I'm trying to be the goddamn Dodgers again, but it's wide open.

It's wild. Yeah, jealousy's right. Got that pole power. We got the American Pope, and he wants his team to win. He wants to win the world season. Because he ain't a Cubs fan. He's a White Sox fan. The Cubs are in the playoffs, too.

Oh, what about the New York teams? Yankees and Mats are they any good? No, Yankees, yes. No, not the Mets fans. Oh, sorry, Matt's fans. No, no, no, no. Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no.

Oh, no, no. Oh, no. They had this fun little thing just happened a couple of days ago where they had a really fun error, and then everyone paused it where the three players they're around the error and they went,

it's a combined, it was like a combined like $1.1 billion making this error. This is great. Katie might slap you in the face. I would. That's okay. I deserve it.

They have that much money on that team right now? They're trying to buy a team and they just can't find a team to mesh. They got a but ton of good players. Yeah. It's just you got, you got to mash them together. Yeah.

Well, all right. Well, we'll keep an eye on that. October baseball, baby. Yeah, and then probably goes December the way baseball goes. October baseball, baby. Catch the fever. I've never understood the appeal of climbing Mount Everest. I'm an indoor kid. I don't need to be ascending mountains.

But Everest always just seems so performative because it's like... It just looks weird. It looks weird. When you see the photos of people climbing Mount Everest, it's like a line of people. Yeah. To what? Get a selfie at the time? top for your LinkedIn page.

Right, and most of them are being led by. By Sherpas to do this all day long and then to carry their, all their stuff. Stupid bodies back down or, and there's just dead bodies up there. Or those pictures. And no matter how many times I see them, they still make me just, like, goff. Yeah, dead bodies are weird because they can't get them off from Mount Everest.

And they're just leaving them or the map. Have you seen that? Where, like, they're markers. Where all the dead bodies are. Yeah, like green boots guy or whatever they are. I'll have named. Yeah, very weird. I mean, if you all want to do it, go for it.

But the Everest thing just seems performative. Yeah, well, and when you see the videos of how we've ruined it. Oh, this is my story here. Oh, okay. So now a new study has warned that human activity on Everest is destroying it. Yeah. Approximately 2,500 tons of ice and snow are melted annually. Oh, I didn't even think of that.

By urine. Hot human urine. Hot human urine. Hot pee. Researchers studying the Kumbu Glacier has found that urine and fuel, like people have fuel containers. There's petrol, kerosene, regular gas, heat from human urine. Yummy. Feesies, all of these things put together.

My poop so hot and slide down the mountain. satellite data shows the camp service rising. Boy, he's got himself. He's cut himself up over there. That's the stupidest. Stupidest comment ever. What, a little slide down the month. Just picture just sits a south park.

Mm-hmm. Woo! Researchers conclude the situation is unsustainable and recommends relocating specific base camps in hopes to stable the area. Well, I wasn't even talking about that. I didn't even think of that. I've just met, you've ever seen the videos. of the amount of garbage.

Disgusting. In like left things of people's camps and tents and oxygen tanks and all of that. Why do they let so many people do it? Is it because it's such like a moneymaker for the area? I assume that that area. Like how the Sherpas make their living? I assume so. It's probably not cheap.

No, I think it does cost thousands and thousands of dollars. Let's see. Ask Cody A.I. How much does it cost to climb Mount Everest? because I'm sure it's a big moneymaker for those Sherpas in their communities. How much does it say what? What? Yeah, I know it's a big number.

What? The total cost of Climbabon Edwards ranges from $40,000 to $100,000 with the average commercial expedition costing $61,000. Yeah, I knew it was crazy. Because you got to get there, you got to set up a camp. Like, it's not a cheap thing to do. Western guides can soar past $200,000 to $300,000 to $300,000. $500,000.

Yeah, so it's a rich person's activity. Oh, that's great. So maybe it's not even a look at me, I climb the mountain flex. It's a look at me how much money I have flex. It seems like it. That's wild. I didn't know that. I thought it was like, all right, you find the Sherpas.

It's a couple grand. Give him a $500. Right? No. Whoa. Mel's ex brother and friends. Oh, your ex's brother and friends climbed it 10 years ago. No desire to do any of that.

No. Go to the Andorandex. Come some of those. I was going to say is that, do the people that around here that do all of that? Are you like, is that like a man? Someday I want to get to Everest? I know I'd never, but someday that would be crazy. Or is that just like one of those where you're like,

I don't want to climb an Everest. No. Like we have a lot of people like Joe likes to go to the mountains. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. One of our showgirls, Amanda, she's trying to climb like all the peaks in the Adirondacks. They do that because it seems peaceful. and you're somewhat alone, maybe you have one or a couple people with you.

Right. But at Everest, you're in a line, like you're waiting for the new iPhone. You're like going to cold and yeah. Yep. You can't breathe. Very high chance of death.

The videos of like people like slipping and like sliding away. You ever seen any of those? No, is that a thing? And then they die. You will you just see them. They fall and they're like, oh, I didn't see one of those.

Sorry, got to move on. Can't go. Like that's got to be crazy. Be like, oh, yep. Mike's gone. I did see one of those videos. You're right. And then you just do, you got... Because what do you do?

Yeah. I got to go back. I got to either keep climbing or come back down. Anyways, we ruin everything. Humans ruin everything, don't we, guys? Yes. Go enjoy the mountains up north. And don't ruin them. Don't ruin them. Puka, Bella. I'm sure you've noticed some changes.

How are you talking to? I'm just practicing for when I have to tell the dogs about the twins. You know, because they'll... Be fine in the spacious third row seat. But the twins... Can sleep peacefully, you think so the... your manual sunshade. And what about the...

Extra cargo space for strollers and dog beds? I guess you're right. Can we go to the hospital now? The contractions are getting closer. The three-row Lexus TX. Because everyone should feel like the center of the universe. See Burtig Lexus and Cicero. What if I wanted to breathe?

It's Skeletor, everybody. Yeah. Cold and foggy out this morning, guys. 37 outside the Utica Studio, 41 in downtown Syracuse. Great. And it's, uh, there's a lot of fog driving in this morning. It was hard to see.

See, I was all right, luckily, because that's always the worst. I'm always just paranoid. I'm like, that's one of the deer is going to be too stupid to know, I know the difference between the road and the grass. It's just going to be standing there like a stupid ass deer. Or a creepy lady with long black hair and she's just standing in a robe in the center of the road and you drive and you go right through her bodies. You look back in the mirror and she's behind you.

Do you something you want to tell us? You're all right? There's something? Huh? We got to look at your ring? I felt her go through my body. Oh, man. Oh, wow.

It's very email outside, Joe. Yes, it is. All right, I wanted to watch this with you guys because I hit play and I know it's going to be ridiculous. Boom, trailer. I'm going to steal the Super Bowl. I'm a coach.

What's the trophy called for football? The Lombardi. I'm going to steal the Lombardi trophy. Listen. The treasure's written on the. the back of the Lombardi. Jump in Twitch, YouTube, or the show.com right now for Nick Cage's John Madden. I heard one second of his John Madden impression and it's non-existent.

I haven't heard any yet. It's just a fat Nick Cage. I forgot he was doing this. I remember it was a while ago they were like, yep, John Madden movie Nick Cage. Yeah. It's like, excuse me? Excuse me? There's a what now?

excuse me? I just don't think he says no to an offer. I don't think he can. Oh, he needs the money you think? Well, I think it was just he was on such a down swing for so long that now that his upswing is still going, he's like, got to let it wrong. Yep. So here's the trailer.

If you want to watch it, I'll describe it the best I can to podcast and radio listeners here. I just want to hear Nick Cage's impression. It is Nick Cage in a fat suit. Is it going to be on Prime? It's not like it's a theater. movie. It was going to be. Here swears. Just tell me so I can dump it.

Okay. I love this guy! I wasn't John Madden at all. They're passing like crazy. Here's the answer. Why? Disguise. Time which. He's a genius. John Madden.

My dances once you start working, you'll never stop. He's, he's not John Madden. You know, you could. very easily. He's just doing Nick Cage's in a fed suit. He did have that cadence kind of like a little bit. Like, but it was more of this.

And I don't want there one like, oh, I got a What the hell's going on? I call a place for him. It was more of that. It wasn't Nick Cage is just doing lower Nick Cage. It's not over yet my life. So it's like 20 seconds. He's doing lower Nick Cage. And yes, that was

Christian Bale. Yes, Christian Bale as well. John Matt. If you had a way with doing what you love, as long as he possibly can. Go, go! He coached for years. John Matt. John Madden. John Madden.

He have a bleeding ulcer. You've got to change the whole way you live. I'm retiring from football coaching. I'll be here with the clubs and the cigarettes and the beer whenever you need it. Just doing what I can to help this country. I don't know what that was supposed to be. So sin not to use your gift. Look at this guy right here.

He's got a steaming head. You see that heat coming off of his head? You could have a barbecue right there. You could have a barbecue. I don't think I'd want to eat anything cooked on a man's head. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You're funny pat. He's doing lower...

This is the future. Madden football. What is this? You only have seven men on a team and I'm out. That's why I'm your football mind. I can make what's inside your head. your head live forever. Here's my playbook.

Every play I ever coached, every play I ever drew. Let's get the work. These guys, they call themselves N-W-A. N-W-A. What does that mean? Just in case. Dr. Dre. Ice-Cube.

Dr. Dre. Was it really a doctor in the bad? Yeah, he's a real doctor. Come on. What do you think? I, it's just, John Madden, it's not hard to do. You just got a little touch so.

You got a guy. And he goes, oh, look. He's got steam going off and said you could have a barbecue on it. I just did it. You just did it. There's John. You got to do it like this. I'm literally speechless.

John men. John man. John man, I sound like this. I'm speechless over what that the hell that was. They literally shove his five years. How many years did he coach? Like four or five years? Yeah, like year two, three, four, two three.

Not long. Not long, yeah. Then he becomes a commentator. We all know him as a commentator. And they're even like, well, we got that about the video game, too. Let's work in the video game. That's what everyone knows him for. Yeah, that could be really great because I love...

What is this? John Madden and Pat Somerall were like my favorite commentating team. Listen to those two go back and forth and trying to figure out when Somerall wasn't drunk. Ha! Was like the best stuff ever. So to do it like that, I don't know. That just wasn't... Because again, like Twitch said, where was it?

Joe said, did he learn nothing from Colliano? You know? Yeah. You start with the... You don't try to do the John Madden just talking like a normal human. You start with the crazy stuff. Look at this. I got a teleprompter.

And then I got a video game. I was a coach. I want a freaking Super Bowl. Holy cow. I'm a copterer now. All right. I don't know who this movie's for. I don't know.

I don't know. And Al Davis is a dick. Is that who the other guy was? Yeah, Christian Bale's supposed to be. Oh, all right. I don't really want to watch him being portrayed in a good light because he's a douche bag. If you can't watch it, go watch the trailer because that's all I need. Yeah, what was...

That's all I need to see. I mean, that Shane Gillis power is funny? Who's he supposed to be? I don't know if that was supposed to be as a raider. I don't know if he's like his buddy or whatever. Yeah. I don't know. Bo Jackson.

Nick Cage, you can just not do every movie. That's not true. You can just not do every movie. It's not true. Every movie is on the back of the U.S. Constitution. Happy Friday the show.fm for all of our links and live streams. Come say what it is to your boys. Pizza Friday night,

Oh, do pizza night tonight? I wish that was an option anymore. Just got too pricey for you. We can't. We bitch about a ton. Again, when I see ads for a place by me that for, you know, two cheese pizzas, $45. One large topping pizza and like 20 wings.

$67. It's like, what? I guess I hate pizza and wings. Tax line says, this message is for Josh. My son is playing football against Phoenix tonight. Any recommendations?

For some good grub, pre or post game. Well, first of all, you're going down. Oh, Phoenix. Go birds. Just kidding, bro.

Phoenix. What's the song? Fire, Firebird. Phoenix, Firebird. will rise from the ashes. We say go birds. I don't know who we're playing tonight, but... Doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter. I'm going to be at that game, bud. Duskies is great. Them wings. Lock one, the stilling is great. They got great handhelds. And I don't know if they got dine in because I've only picked up from there,

but pizza pie hole is pretty clutch, too. Oh, I've only seen. Pizza pie hole and independent pizza. We've got two good pizzerias in town. Look at you. Do we have any, like, sit-down restaurants? I mean, I guess, Duskies or Lock one are our sit-down spots.

I'm going to bombers. Oh, yeah, bombers, bud. That'd be right across to be right across from the field. Oh, is it?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. We're right there, bud. You can walk to bombers. But also go birds. So, uh, Cody,

speaking of children. Yeah, yo. The newest trend. The newest trend. I don't know if it's a trend or just some idiot on Instagram did it,

but I don't know if I would ever do this. You know what a pub crawl is, right? We do them all the time. Mm-hmm. Now they're doing park

crawls. And when I first saw this, I thought they meant like theme park. No. They mean they're just going to like local town parks. Oh. With a bunch of kids for a day. I mean, I could see how that's, it could be fun for a day, but

I don't want to be. I mean, I don't want to be in a bus full of screaming kids. What I was just going to say is like, do we have to, can we go separate? I mean, each of there and then leave. It's going to sound like this. As, uh, this was the TikTok that went up. How do I unmute? There we go.

Yeah. And never mind. I can't unmute because Godfrey. Which is just the kids scream. Screaming. Yeah. I know. Now.

They rented a party bus. No. They fill it with children and they drive around. Now, when I had younger kids, why is this man gray? What's wrong with his skin? Oh, no. What's wrong with Dan Hicks?

Oh, bud. Is he sick? Um, no. He's a color is your shirt. I know. He's a tope. Bar crawl. As we all know, our pub crawls are great for adults.

They're doing kids' birthday party park crawls, rending a bus, hit up three or four parks with a rowdy screaming group of kids. I could see that'd be a fun idea. If you've got some good ones in a nice vicinity where you're not driving 25 minutes to parks, if it's like a 10, 15 minute drive, each one, that could be fun. there's enough around that that'd be cool. I go back to those days when I had the little kids. It would be a good thing to just tire them out.

If I had access to a cheap bus or a large van. You know, like, go to, you know what I'm talking myself into it? Go to like a Hertz and rent one of those 12 passenger vans. It's a cheap birthday party, kind of. Pretty cheap birthday party. The last one. You're keeping them busy. You're tiring them out.

The last one is the one where you give them cake and whatever. The last park. Okay, go on. I'll set up the cake and blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, that might not, you know what? I'm kind of talking into it now. That's really not too bad. You're kind of talking me into it.

Jacob and Chad says, good morning from Nebraska. We got to be the biggest show in Nebraska. I think so. Yeah. Especially because you could do, I'm trying to picture around me. Mm-hmm. Depending on the time of year, like you could hit up like some of the summer parks, like the ones that have a pool.

Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Yeah, rent a U-Ha, let them bounce around in the back. Because you could get to, and I'm trying to picture one more, if you're doing three. Mm-hmm. Well, I get... Yeah, if I think up by me, we got a park in Phoenix, we got a park in Beaville, somewhere in Liverpool. Like, I can get around.

The Upper on a Daga Park where they have that pool is, is, and it also has a park. That's a good one. Then they could go right to Hanlon. Bro. In East Syracuse, and they have a pool. Now I need one more. Summertime idea. That's what I'm thinking.

Boom, pool. Now there's one more. Beville is a splash pad. Okay. I think Fultonterman. might have a splash pad now. I'll start in Beville then because that rides not too far because I can't. I know there's some in Fair Mountain all that.

I'm just not as familiar. Then we just go up top of Rada-Dong, and then we ended it handling because I know they've got, you know, places to sit in picnics areas, but they've also got a park and a pool. Belanche says, we did it. We used to do that every summer with our kids when they were younger. We were just hit up different playgrounds in the area. Camillas has a splash pad.

Oneiana's getting a splash pad. So plan on that for next summer. I mean, maybe just do like a tire your kids out splash pad day. That's a good idea. Not too shabby. Cody, it is creepy outside. Winds in the east. Miss coming in.

Like something is brewing. About to begin. Car put me finger on what lies in store. I feel what's to happen. What happened before? He loves my play that clip. That's like your favorite thing. I love Mary Poppins.

Yeah, it's like the fog is literally rolling in. We can see it outside the studio window right now. You can just kind of watch it slowly creep over the buildings and then now just kind of like settle in here. Why do you out there driving? Be careful. Why? I don't know what creates fog. Is it like a temperature change situation?

Because it's so cold overnight. Now it's going to warm up. Oh, what's the high today? Going to be high. Seventy one. That's not bad then. That's pretty good then. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Very confusing. All right. So, yeah, in other places, it is bright blue skies. It's just this little bit just kind of shows up all of a sudden because it was nice here. Mm-hmm. I closed the windows. I close my eyes.

All right. Let's go through the NFL schedule for this weekend. Cody is last night. Did it. Boom, I'm John Redden. Uh. Let me see her. I got a greenberry.

Packers, they're supposed to be better than the Llanofokens. But they weren't better than Atlanta, Focus at Bashan Robinson, and he ran around and went, boom, there's touchdown. Boom, and there's no touchdown. Zippy in chat says that mad movie looks good. Zippy, it doesn't, though. No, thanks. It doesn't.

I mean, it doesn't. I might, I don't know. All right, Bengals at Steelers. No, that's, the Bengals finally got to start doing something here, so better now than then eventually because the season goes fast. Yeah, it's cooking. We're week three already. Yeah, that's what I mean.

All of a sudden, you're O and whatever, you can't. Patriots of Jags. That could be the game of the week if Patriots play a little bit better because they started, you know, like some movies of the Seahawks, and then they get a little bit better, and now the Jags are a good team. So it could be a playoff preview maybe. Titans at Giants? Nope.

I know Giants fans are not going to have a. a great time. That game might isn't going to be bad. Who's even? Titans are. Who's their quarterback now? Oh, Giants? Yeah.

James Winston. All right. They use the backup, right? Yeah. Okay. That won't be as fun. Seahawks at Commanders. Also, that had potential looking at it at the start of the year.

You're like, oh, Sam Darnold and the Super Bowl champions versus Jaden Daniels and the commanders who might have a good team. Sam Darnold, I think, is playing this week after injuring himself. And Jane Daniels, I don't think so with that elbow. Jets at Lions? I would imagine lions. Just destroy them. Jets aren't going to find their...

No, they get close, but no, I can see them. Panthers Browns? Panthers should, but it's one of those where all of a sudden you're watching it, and it's third quarter, and it's, you know, 14-7 Browns. Chiefs at Dolphins. Chiefs kill the dolphins. 45.10. Same here, possibly.

Chargers and Bills. I picked the Chargers to go to the Super Bowl. At the beginning of the year. A couple weeks ago. But they look like one of the worst teams in the league. Why? What happened? I don't know.

Their offensive weapons aren't weapons. The running backs aren't really doing much. Justin Herbert's supposed to be a lot better. He's just never gotten any better than he was week one of his season one. And I was on the train of Jim Harbaugh being really good. And he gives a couple years with a team. And then he leads him to the playoffs. in a championship, but they all just look lost.

Texans at Colts. That'll be fun. That'll be a good one. I think that could be a game of the week, one of those like 45-34 matchups you see. High-scoring game you think? Could be. Cardinals at 49ers.

That's one of those throwaway four-clock games. Vikings. They got to have something else on. Vikings at Bucks. Oh, no. These whole slate doesn't look that great. No. Yeah, that might be okay, but Vikings,

save Justin Jefferson. So it'll be. It's the game we played yesterday. Raiders at Saints. I mean, now this looks like a battle of the big times. Raiders are undefeated. The Saints beat the Ravens last week. All right.

So who knows? But that's why the games aren't as good because they want everyone watching this. And then Ravens at Cowboys. From Brazil. From Brazil at 425. Who do you like in that without being a Homer? If the Ravens can get out of the gate early and score, then it's over for the Cowboys.

The Cowboys have to take the lead. early and then just keep the ball away from the Ravens as much as possible. But if Derek Henry starts his BS of being Derek Henry and Lamar Jackson just runs a little bit and gets anybody open, the Ravens will end up winning. And then Sunday night, Rams at Broncos. I like this game if the Broncos played and get playing like they did last year. That could be a really fun game, the way the Rams turned it around last week.

That could be actually really fun. Then you'll have Eagles Bears Monday night football. And not without Caleb Williams on the Bears. All right. Coco. Oh, no. Do the hotel room autopsy. Oh, man.

I do. No. Real quick. You look around? I'm not as, I don't know the word is it like, not, then you. There's a New York Post article. You get freaked out a little easier than I would think. Where flight attendants have given their recommendation for things.

to do when entering a hotel room. Oh. Because they're in them a lot. Yep. As I've said many times on this show, I don't try. I don't like to think about the hotel room because it'll gross me out if I think about it too much. Yeah. No.

Because I know they're not scrubbing down everything. I know they're not changing that comforter. I know somebody's bare ass was on this chair less than 12 hours ago. And just as someone that sweats. Ew. Yeah. You know that I'm way cleaner than most. So I can't remember.

You've shared. the DNA pillow with other people. I just can't think about it. I just can't think about it. Sharing the DNA pillow. Mm-hmm. The cock chair that sits there. All of it.

I hate all of them. Well, that you sit in. That's just fun. But some people are a little overcautious. Like, you ever see those TikTok videos? Like, first things I do when checking into a hotel room and they put a band-aid over the people and they put a thing by the door. I'm like, maybe you shouldn't travel then.

The first thing I do is open everything. Maybe you shouldn't travel then, you know? I just like it. Everything's open. I'm not doing anything. So open it all up. So they say they do hotel room autopsies. As soon as they walk in, it's a quick 90-second safety check.

For example, take a look around the room, make sure it's empty and ready. Now, I'm trying not to be, I'm trying to be, I guess, sympathetic, but has ever in the history of hotel rooms you've gone into a room and there's somebody waiting there to murder you? Is that? Well, does that a thing that has ever happened? No, but. Or there's somebody hiding behind, like, the curtains ready to kill you? You see feet?

Hey! Right? Hey! Oh, I don't think so, buddy. Uh-huh. You hear the shower curtain pull? No, I think it's more of less of like, um, people might be in there. Like, have you ever done that?

Like, they, don't. Polly walked into a guy beaten off in a room once, yeah. Yes, like that. Like, they give you the room that someone else has already got. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that. But, no. They say scan the room, check the closets, bathroom, showers, bathtops for hiding spots.

Because again, this now sounds again like someone's waiting to jump out and kill you, which case. Has it ever happened? Maybe you shouldn't be staying at hotels if you're checking to make sure you're not about to be murdered at every stop. Maybe I'm a heartless dick. I don't know, but has it ever happened? Oh, I bet. I mean, we see, there's enough of those documentaries and all those things. A person murdered by other person just waiting in the room to kill you.

I don't know what serial killers do, but it's not, again, if you're so worried that every single place that you have to stop. Yeah. Maybe even pairs or. Yeah, you got to figure out something else because you might be a little paranoid. You're a little paranoid, I think here. Locate the emergency exits. Find the nearest exit and look at the evacuation map. I've never done that.

Where you look? I don't care. Susan says one of my storm chasers entered a room around 2 a.m. And there was a body in the bed. He quickly left and got a new room. Yeah. Hopefully it was just a sleeping body and not a dead body. Because I was just watching a thing where a lady had a joke in the door and she was like the shower was going.

they don't they given away her room that's that's that's it's like you're lucky like that's something that like that's not a that's probably more likely that's what I'm saying like that's not a smart move like you you're putting people in danger that way not maybe not so much waiting for you but you book or you give a you know a guy it's some creepy guy the key to a lady's room and she's in the shower yeah dude guys are they're dushy so I mean yeah always use that that extra, extra bolt when you're inside the room.

That's what she says. This woman said, use a door alarm or a door wedge. Yep. To secure the door when you're inside the room. And just in case, you know, you get that the wait, the wait staff, you know, the people that clean everything. Sometimes they just kind of, well, good cleaning.

And they just open the door. Yeah. No, I'm still here. No, no, no, no, no. No, no. No, sometimes if you don't put that, like, card on the door of like, no. I'm pooping. Don't bother me.

They'll come in and change your towels. Hello, I'm pooping. I'm pooping right now. Look at Ken. We were, uh, always review the emergency exit. It came in handy when we were in Waterloo with the 1.m. fire alarm going off. Babe, we exit, immediate right. There's your stairs.

Two floors. We're out. Yeah, I was lucky this year when I was at Old Forge. I opened my door and it was the stairs. So I would just have to fly right now. Although I had the balcony. That was one story up. There was a real fire.

I would probably just go wait out there for even a second for them to just grab me or just dangle down and jump. A lot of you're traveling next week. We'll secure all your entrances and exits. They also say make sure the phone works. A lot of times they're unplugged and not working. It's important to verify you can contact the front desk or emergency services if needed. That I never did, but I like to go around and see what's, if anybody left money. Check the Bible.

See what's the TV. Paulie and I found underpants once. Cousin Jay tries to find money in the Bible. That's what I mean. You've got to flip through it to see if anybody. left anything because sometimes people do. Check the safe for cash. Although the housekeeping would have

checked the safe first. Housekeeping, that's what I was looking for. I got to check the phone because apparently if you have AT&T service this week, you don't you're not allowed to have phone service. So I would need to check the landline. Yeah, what's going on with that? Because I've been an SOS mode all week long. You've had that where I have my problem

with... Your RCS things won't go through on Verizon for some reason. Group chats won't even turn on. Everybody's phones are weird this week and is pissing me off. I pay good money, Garder. I'm sure it has nothing to do with me, Russia. Well, I mean, we got she in town this week, so maybe he's staying in the... Oh, maybe there's a bunch of stuff that's blocked because...

Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I don't want you guys spying on my best buddy. We're dead it, folks. We made it to the end of another week. I got one more work later getting through, and that it's time to take out your gibbidels. Don't forget tomorrow our friends over at Fritmer Farms open up. They're going to be open tomorrow for all your scary needs. We'll be there next Saturday. Oh, so plan on it.

We will brandish a weapon. We will. We're going to commit a homicide, I think. That's the scariest one we've ever done. One of you is going to get clipped. One of you may die. Wasn't that a plot for a horror movie? It's like a haunt, but somebody actually dies.

That's a movie plot. It sounds like it would be a... Because there's that weird... Like it's a murder house where people think the screams are just part of it? It's part of it. Part of it. But I think that there's like a real... I think there's a movie movie.

I mean, that'd be a pretty legitimate, scary movie. Mm-hmm. Is it Hell House? I don't know. Hell House. I don't know. This house is Hell House. Can't even watch my shows.

Are you talking about the Kardashians? Mm-hmm. Ha. Very good. Very, very good. Can you keep up with them? So a body language expert is sharing some facts about how, like, say you're, maybe like in a court of, like, you're in front of a jury or

whatever, body language things that you can give off if you're doing something you shouldn't be doing. For example, when a person is looking at people more than products when they're in the aisles, good chance they're thinking about shoplifting because you're looking for people who are spying. So if I'm in an aisle at a grocery store, I'm like, oh, I was like, What? You're looking for people. Yeah, I mean, if you're just dead eyes staring at me, then yes, I might be concerned. Am I going to steal?

Most people don't notice other people unless their goal requires them to be very aware of everyone around them. So if you're working in loss prevention and you see people, huh, huh? I mean, any shifty eye movement or like looking over the shoulders, that's already going to be a red flag for me. when a potential client explained something with and then for no reason that's kind of a tell that there might be actually a reason. No, no reason.

And then for no reason, Cody went to HR and was like he's farting in the studio. For no reason. I see what you did there because what you actually do is fart quite a bit. I do, yep. If someone's carrying a weapon

but isn't used to carrying weapons, they'll be constantly fidgeting with it. So if you see somebody playing with their belt. So if I have a gun and I'm not used to having my gun, if I'm constantly holding it, that'll make you more aware that I have it. Or even like a knife in their pocket. Like you've got a knife in your pocket or whatever?

Oh, okay. So you're feeling if it's there? It's like my shorts that I have with the hole in the right pocket. What? That's how you go? Okay. Yep. Mm-hmm.

Flight attendant say, when I do my final walkthrough to pet, to check for seatbell. If you don't have years on, there's a high likelihood that you will be a problem passenger throughout the flight. So she has said, please put your seat belts on. If you're one of those. No. I've done my own research.

I won't be wearing a Zeebelt. Thank you very much. Yeah, I don't think so. I'm going to be on my cell phone the entire time. Insurance adjusters say if in the first sentence you bring up that you go to church, it indicates you're probably going to be lying for the rest of it. So if you're like, if you're like, so I was leaving church. I was at.

And then this car pulled out. I only ever experienced anything leaving Bible study. Yeah, I was, I was actually praising the Lord. The next thing I know. No, I was in confession. And when I got out of confession. This one's from a princess at Disney World. Quote, I could tell which kid had loving, interactive, and invested parents within 30 seconds just how they interacted.

There's a huge difference between kids who are just shy and the ones who are left alone. not read to or fully interacted with by caregivers. Oh, that one's more sad. Yeah, geez. That one's more sad. Okay. No one loves you. No one loves you.

I'm going to interact with you in the grocery store. Uh-huh. Yeah, so that's some of the lists. Bartender. The absolute dead giveaway, someone is performing being relaxed. They make aggressive, deliberate eye contact to prove they are sober. Oh, not along to music.

Or laugh at second to... Oh, my God. This is addicts. I've had a lot of people in my life that do this. And a few people that have been on this show. The absolute dead giveaway, they make aggressive eye contact, they laugh a second, too late at things, and they're... Well, I already know you're high.

I saw you take that. I saw you took the edible. I know. We'll hand you off to the 90s at 9 with a little pearl jam. A little purgam. Birdroom. B.Gaming stream is driven by Ryan Phelps Auto Sales. You're buying from Ryan, styling, style and profile and jetplane flying.

It is a Dallas Cowboy Friday. Yeah, right. And the Baltimore Ravens. Yep. Coco. Talony. Is the Dallas Cowboys. And they will win on Sunday.

3414. Okay. Call it out 3414. Place your bets. Twitch.tv slash the show or the show.com for all of our links. Love you.