The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - 10 Tools To Make 2025 Your Best Year Yet: Habits & Mindset Shifts Ft. Michael & Lauryn Bosstick
Episode Date: January 2, 2025#792: New Year, New Goals – Make 2025 Your Best Year Yet! Join Michael & Lauryn Bosstick as they sit down to discuss their goals & intentions for the New Year, sharing actionable habits & meaningful... changes to inspire your own journey. They cover everything from setting personal boundaries, managing phone usage, adopting mindset shifts, implementing strategic planning, & building a framework to unlock your full potential. Start 2025 with a purpose & learn how you can make it your most impactful year!  To connect with Lauryn Bosstick click HERE  To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE  Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE  To Watch the Show click HERE  For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM  To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697)  This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential  Head to the HIM & HER Show ShopMy page HERE to find all of Michael and Lauryn’s favorite products mentioned on their latest episodes.  Visit c1p.org to donate to the Community First Project, a mission to make communities safer by ensuring the quality & integrity of our nation's law enforcement agencies.  This episode is sponsored by Cymbiotika  Go to Cymbiotika.com/TSC or use code TSC for 20% off your subscription order + free shipping today.  This episode is sponsored by O Positiv  Visit opositiv.com and use code SKINNY at checkout for 25% off at checkout.  This episode is sponsored by Oura  Visit ouraring.com.  Produced by Dear Media
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She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire.
Fantastic.
And he's a serial entrepreneur.
A very smart cookie.
And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride.
Get ready for some major realness.
Welcome to the Skinny Confidential.
Him and her.
Aha!
Hello everybody, happy new year.
I couldn't quite tell if you were doing a selfie there or if we were going or not.
New year, new you, new me, new all of us. Is it a new you? New Year New You New Me New All of Us
Is it a New You?
It's New Me
Anyways guys I want to start the New Year off
By addressing the elephant in the room
That has been the elephant in the room
For a long time
We finally were able to fix the levels of the studio
No more commenting
Take creatine, your honor.
All these people out there,
there's this big speculation.
Why are you above the guest?
Why you put the guest like this?
Listen, guys, when we built the studio,
somebody's fuck up.
Carson, I don't want to say it was yours.
I'll take accountability, Carson.
But anyways, long story short,
we built the studio.
It was actually me.
Somebody who set the studio up wrong.
I was like, put us in like a box area situation where we're like the dj yeah but it was i know but
it didn't land on video if you guys don't know what we're talking about oh they know what we're
talking about okay if you don't know what we're talking about though we designed a studio it's
amazing it's in austin texas But when we designed it, the area that Michael
and I sit at is higher than the guest. So it looks like we're looking down on the guest.
They know. They've commented. They've been tearing us apart.
I don't read a lot of the comments sometimes.
I understand that. Listen, we've only been doing this show for about 10 years. How are
we supposed to know how to set up a studio? Anyways, long story short, guys.
It's a work in progress.
We wanted to fix it for a long time,
but we record so frequently because we're producing these episodes so often that we
didn't have enough downtime to get somebody in here to take the whole thing apart and reset it.
Recently, we just went to California for two weeks. We're recording over there doing holiday
party, end of year stuff in that office, and we had the time to set it. So now we fixed the studio.
Know what you've been saying. We get it. It's been awkward for us too. New year, new studio. Okay. Let's hop right into it. 10 things that we are
doing this year that we hope will inspire some of you. Are you going to look at me during the
episode or are you just going to... No, I don't want to look at you because I like this angle
of myself. All right, fine. So I'm just going to side peripheral you and talk to you like this.
It's really awkward because I'm staring at the side of your head trying to have a conversation
with you.
Some people aren't watching this episode.
They're listening.
So it's fine.
I'm peripheraling you out of my eyes.
You're going to have to deal with it.
At some point, we're going to figure out just the right geometry, trigonometry, algebra to get this studio set up so that we can actually look at each other, get the right angles, have the right height.
We'll figure it out, promise.
Okay, guys.
So we wanted to do an episode to kick off the year to talk about.
It's actually things that Lauren and I do every year at the start of a new year to completely enhance our year, change our lives, improve, get better, start it off on the right foot. We thought sharing it
with you guys as we move into 2025 would be beneficial for those that can maybe take some
of what we do and apply it to their own life so that you can also have a fabulous year. So this
episode, we're going to talk about these 10 things we do. I have five, Lauren has five. Lauren,
do you want to kick it off? Well, first, I just want to say that this is kind of like an audit.
So what, like personally, what I did is I
looked at my last year. I looked at the areas where I think that I could improve for the upcoming year.
And I wrote down all of those areas that I wanted to improve. But typically what I do with this is
I do like a think week, my favorite, my favorite. I don't know if I'm going to be able to get through
this without looking with you looking at me. This so awkward my favorite thing to do my favorite time of the year
literally no one can unsee this is the second to the seventh january 2nd to the 7th and i'll tell
you why everyone is exhausted by their family from christ or the holidays. And then they're exhausted from the new year.
So no one is like on it, which is so nice because it gives you actually space to have clarity.
So I do a think week from the 2nd to the 7th.
And I go over everything I want, all my intentions, all my goals, all my systems,
everything.
And I put it into a journal of what I want to accomplish for the upcoming year.
And then I'll write a page of all my ideas that I want to get done by the end of the year. And
I'll fold it up and put it in a drawer and I'll get to the end of the year and make sure I did.
Are you talking to me or are you just talking off into space? This is anyways,
I think we should run a poll. I think the best time of the year is the 26th to the 30th because everybody's out
and checked out and it's wrong you get quiet because you have new year's everyone's back the
second though everyone's ready to go they're no one's ready to go yeah they're nailing your inbox
do a poll go comment on our latest instagram no one is ready to go the second they're burnt out
they're tired they're done they want time to themselves it's time to recharge the battery no what carson no what's better sorry i was spacing out
okay listen i'm telling you the the question is what is the most quiet best organized week to
kind of like go introspective no no no way too long long in the truth question okay what is the
question what is the best time of the year to have space
to yourself? The 26th through the 1st? No, I said 26th through the 30th. Or the 2nd,
January 2nd to the 7th. I think the 2nd to the 7th. Yeah, 100%. Carson, we're back in office
on the 2nd. You better not be having space yourself. You better be back on it. Everyone's
switched out. You're not, you know, no. Guys, I'm telling you because 26th to the 30th, nobody's around.
Everything's shut down.
My think week is the 2nd through the 7th of January.
So what is, is this your first thing you do is you take the think week?
I do my think week.
That's number one on the list.
You take a think week.
No, no, no.
That's not on my list.
I pulled my list out.
Oh, Jesus.
Okay.
So I wrote my list out.
I wrote it in my notes app and I'll go first with mine.
So you can do number one first.
Yeah.
Something that is so important to me, and I feel like this is important to you too,
and I cannot perform like the athlete that I want to perform at in business if I don't have this,
is space. Space on my calendar is something that is like, it's probably the most important thing because I can choose what to plug
in to that space. So when I first started the blog, everything was yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
I can do it. Yes, I can hustle. Yes, yes, yes. Yes got me so far for like nine years.
And then yes stops working for you. You have to learn to say no and you have to have sort of this
transition. And now I'm at the space where I have said no to a lot of things for the last, like,
I don't know, five years. But now I'm at the point where this upcoming year, I want to see
gaps on my calendar. Katie, I hope you're listening. And I've noticed with even being
your wife, that if you don't have space on your calendar, you're not as efficient.
Yeah. But I do think to play devil's advocate for people that are listening,
there is a period in your career, you know, we're going to get a little older here,
where you have to have a lot more yeses in the beginning than no's.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
Luckily now, I mean, we've been doing this for a long time. You can have a few more no's,
but I agree with you. I think in order to, you have to doing this for a long time. You can have a few more no's But I agree with you. I think in order
You have to say yes for a long time in order to create opportunity
But then at some point once you've drummed up some opportunity for yourself and we did an episode with ryan holiday on this
Then you have to kind of step back and protect those opportunities by saying no you can't just say yes forever
He has this funny meme on his page where it's like all these different blocks on his calendar and the first one's like
No, I cannot Get my brain picked for coffee. I will be reading. And the next one's like,
no, I cannot go to your event. I will be working on building my business. And that's
kind of how I'm looking at it. And to be really honest, I'm just at a space in my life right now
where if I don't want to do it, and it's not moving the needle towards something that I'm
super passionate about, the show, my product line, my family, it's not moving the needle towards something that I'm super passionate about
the show my product line my family it's going to be a no for me and I'm I'm actually really
comfortable with saying that I used to be like oh no but if I don't want to do it I'm not doing it
that's just where I'm at and that's that's this year it's like that that's it so what's the
takeaway what's okay so the takeaway is what will I be filling
that space with? Because I think that that's the takeaway for the audience if you do want to create
more space on your calendar. So what are you filling the space with? I like to fill it with
creating, writing. If you want to write a book, you can fill that space every day with 20 minutes
a day of writing that goes towards the bigger picture, which is a book. You've always wanted to write a book, get some free space on your calendar. You could fill it with
meditating, which is going to center you. It's going to relax your nervous system.
You could fill it with working out. You could fill it with taking a walk. You could fill it with,
I don't know, making a morning coffee. The point is you're filling it with things that you feel
like move the needle for you to be better. So you're filling it with things that you feel like move the needle
for you to be better. So you're not just opening space to do nothing. You have to fill it.
My thing is, yeah, like open the space, but be intentional about the space. So like for me,
I have in my calendar, I know you have this too, reading for an hour at night. That's in both of
our calendars. That's open space. I like to open space in my calendars to be with my kids.
So when I pick them up from school, I'll open space to bake cookies. It can be really simple,
but it's opening space to do what you actually want to do.
My first thing, I do this at the beginning of every year. Lauren knows I do this. I've talked
about it on a solo episode. It's a system that I call the 7-1-1, which again, I didn't come up with, but it's something
that I implement.
I start every single year with the overall theme of what I want that year to be.
So for example, in 2023, that theme was, I need to develop a fitness routine that I
stay consistent with.
And the theme was like, that's like everything else in my life worked around that routine.
The theme of this year was like, I want to get in great shape.
I'm almost approaching my forties.
I want to be in the best shape of my life by the time I'm 40.
So this year, the theme was health, fitness, wellness, getting my sleep under control,
getting my diet under control, getting my body in shape, all these things.
The theme of this year, now that I feel like I have a base is I just want to be an absolute
beast in business this year.
I want to go really hard. I want to
get all the distractions out. I want the theme of this year to be, when you look back on it,
be like, this guy just crushed his business this year. And so anyways, I think overarching
the takeaway here is that I pick a theme and I think anyone can pick a theme for what they want
the overarching theme, again, I'll say it again, of their year to be. And then I implement the
7-1-1 strategy, which I've talked about before, but which I'll say it again, of their year to be. And then I implement the 7-1-1 strategy,
which I've talked about before, but which I will remind everyone here again.
The 7-1-1 strategy is you create a goal list of what you want to happen in seven years. And the
reason it's seven years is that gives you enough time and enough future perspective to pursue big
goals. So you write down a list of maybe four or five things that you want to happen in
seven years. That could be, you know, you want to be married or you want to have a house or you
want to have X amount in savings, or you want to have X children, or you want to be in this real,
whatever the, whatever it is in seven years that you want to happen. And I think you can get
specific with that. Like I want this kind of house or this kind of family or this kind of savings
account or whatever it may be. Then the next part of that is
I do the one, which is a year. What do I need to do in one year's time? And I literally write this
out. What needs to happen this year, this year being 2025 for me to move as far as I can against
the goal that I've set for myself in the future of seven years. And then once I know what this
year needs to look like, for example, that might be,
I need to save $20,000 in one year, or I need to get in a serious relationship in one year,
or I need to have, I need to be going to the gym or I need it, whatever it may be.
You set that year. And then the last part is the last one, which is one month.
What are the systems and things you need to do every single month to execute against that one
year goal? I think if you create a theme overall for the overall for the year, like I said, in my case, I want to really
focus on my business. And then you have long-term goals in seven-year window to pursue against.
And then you have a one-year plan mixed with one-month goals. You'll just start to be able
to execute efficiently all the time. I think the biggest mistake people make is they make these huge goals with no execution plan and then they don't get
anywhere. So pick a theme, do the 7-1-1 rule. That's how I would start every year. And that's
what I think everyone else should do as well. I also think though that you need to talk about
little things around being a beast in business. Meaning you told me this, like you're going to drink less alcohol, which is then
going to make you a beast in business. You're going to blank to blank. I think you need to
give like little, cause you're not just saying I want to be a beast. If you pick a theme for your
year, then what you're doing is you're also taking on an identity. So if I want to be quote unquote,
a business beast, that's what I call it. But if you just say you want to crush your business this
year or your career or your job, whatever it may be, your career, then you
take that on as identity and say, if you're going to be someone that's doing those things for this
year, then what would that kind of person who does those things do? Well, that means you can't be out
at the bar every night drinking till 2am. That means you can't be playing video games all the time. You can't be trying to go on 18
million dates. You can't be distracted. You have to say yes to a lot more things to move the
business forward. You have to get uncomfortable. You have to maybe stretch yourself in a way that
you wouldn't be. You have to be, if you're in a company, maybe you have to volunteer more. You
have to speak more, whatever it may be. But by taking on the identity of what somebody that is a quote unquote business beast or career beast would do, it helps you eliminate because you
can ask yourself, what would that person not do? And so whenever I go into these years, like for
example, this year, if I want to be a healthy person, that means a healthy person eats well,
goes to the gym consistently, sleeps well, takes care of themselves. You're not eating
McDonald's every night or treating
yourself poorly because it's not what a healthy person would do.
Are you at request for coaching?
Sure.
Do you have a request box?
Actually, you know what?
Now that you're saying it, I don't know if I'm at request for coaching.
I changed my mind.
I have a request to put in the request box.
Can 2016 be I'm going to be a beast husband?
2016?
Like when we got married?
I mean, 2026.
Yes, you got it Lauren.
That's the year we got married.
Nailed it that year.
2026 should be that you are going to be a beast husband.
Not next year?
No, I'll skip a year.
I could, you know.
Not 2025.
I already made the theme in this year.
Okay.
So 2026.
2026.
I'm going to be a sex machine. Uh, that's not what I was referring to, but sure. Okay. Lauren,
what's your number two? Number two. I guess it's going to be number three on our list.
No, it's number two. Well, it's number three on the overall. You did one. I did one and I
wrote three. Okay. So we recently had Mel Robbins on the podcast. I find her to be very interesting. And I think that
her theories are very digestible and applicable. I think it's something you could wake up tomorrow
and apply her five second rule, I think is a really good one to get you going. But the one
that resonated for me is in her latest book, Let Them and Then Let Me. So she said it's like a two part thing. So let people do whatever they
want to do. Just let them. But then let me. And I think let me is like, I'm going to respond how I
think I should respond accordingly. And I think using that theory is so amazing because it doesn't
allow you to give energy towards things that aren't moving your
needle. And it doesn't, it doesn't, you don't really have the capacity to deal with everyone's
bullshit. So I got her book. I've been highlighting it. I highly recommend it. I think it's a really
good, easy theory to apply to next year. And it, it truly gives you more gas in your tank to do things that are more productive. liposomal vitamin C. Bringing liposomal vitamin C from Symbiotica into the new year is a no-brainer.
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A lot of you reached out like a crazy amount after our episode with the founders of O Positive
Health. And some of you shared your experience with PCOS. Some of you talked about vaginal health
and some of you talked about just sex health in general. You loved that podcast. And it doesn't surprise me because I feel like it's not talked about enough.
O Positive Health supports women at every stage of their life. So from your first period
to even beyond. So they have this endocrine superfood powder. It's probably one of their
most amazing product drops. So it's called Flow Endocrine Superfood Powder. And it basically
just supports your endocrine system. They also are all about vaginal health. So it's called Flow Endocrine Superfood Powder, and it basically just supports your
endocrine system. They also are all about vaginal health. So if you wanted like an intimate
deodorant for down there or even a boric acid suppository, they really have you covered.
Their vaginal probiotic is very, very popular. Women all over TikTok are saying it really helps
with vaginal odor and pH balance. I think this company
is very avant-garde, and I think the messaging behind it is so important. This should not be
a taboo subject to talk about your vagina. I think this just needs to be talked about more.
If you're looking for O Positive Health, you can find it in Target nationwide in the intimate care
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If you follow me on Instagram stories, you know I love my Oura ring. You see it in a lot of pictures
and when I'm wearing it, I'm always wearing it to upgrade my sleep. I take my sleep so seriously.
It is probably number one on my list, even before time. Sleep is the most important thing to me
because it sets the entire tone of the day. So I wanted to upgrade this and I talked to Brian
Johnson and also a sleep expert, Matthew Walker. They both recommended the Aura Ring. I tried it.
I loved it. If you're unfamiliar with the Aura Ring, it's a revolutionary smart ring that delivers
personalized health data, insights, and daily guidance. A lot of people like me use it to learn how to improve
sleep, manage stress. They like it to understand their heart health, track activity, and more.
Oura Ring empowers women to better understand their bodies so they can be their own health
advocate. For instance, something that's really cool is you can use the Oura Ring with the Natural
Cycles app. So you can literally take control of your fertility effortlessly with Natural Cycles.
I think this is so amazing because it really gives you the power, which is awesome. If you
want to upgrade your sleep like I did, or you just want to prevent or plan pregnancies with
Natural Cycles, you have to check them out. It's such a good one to commit to
your health, your body, yourself. In the new year, it's all about sleep. And I know you guys feel the
same way. So definitely check them out. You can visit OuraRing.com. That's OuraRing.com.
I'm going to take you very seriously in saying that you're going to implement some of these things. So as we move into 2025, you're going to let me do my thing.
You're not going to be a backseat driver.
You're not going to be micromanaging my time on X.
But that's fine.
You're not going to be wondering what I'm doing, if I'm playing my games.
What game do you play?
Tell everyone what game you play
um he loves these games no what I know what's the game so tangent I was talking to Dr. Craig
Conover who's our doctor and he was saying he looked at all my blood work he's like I think
you should go and do something that's just good for your mind de-stressing and just like go back
play video games because they're active you're actively participating but you're also zoning
out so I don't you know I just play what's the game you play i played um wukong person knows that i love that game that was a good game
i'm playing call of duty 6 right now but that's like you could do that on and off um i got this
new star wars game didn't like that one that much okay i got it seems like playing games is like
my housewives yeah i just like go and I zone out. Hang out. But anyways.
Okay. I'm just going to hold you to that. You're going to let
me. I don't think you can.
My husband, you're not
on porn. You're on games.
No.
I don't think guys should watch porn.
Oh, here's a
twist, Carson. This wasn't expected in
this episode. Okay. I've talked to too many
people. It's just not good for your sex life. It's not good for your attention. I've talked to too many people. It's just
not good for your sex life. It's not good for your
attention. I'm not going to judge if you've watched porn. I've
watched porn in the past, but I don't find it productive. I think it lowers
your testosterone. Maybe I'm a myth
about that. I think it teaches you to finish
too quickly in the bedroom. I
think it's bad for your dopamine. This is a lot.
We've talked to porn stars on the show and after
hearing their stories, I... You got
turned off on it after talking to porn stars on the show.
We talked to Lana Rhodes and she's like a prominent adult performer, adult film star.
Is that what you call them?
Adult.
And after hearing, like, she was like, I didn't enjoy it.
I didn't like, I'm like, this is, I don't like the idea that someone's not enjoying.
I think you had a daughter too.
Yeah.
Anyways, a lot.
I've just found more productive things to do.
You know what?
Also, like, I'm fine found more productive things to do you know what also
like i'm fine if people watch porn do you i like a little porn sometimes but there's something like
i don't know if it's taylor's visual but like a guy just actively like beating his meat alone
in a room that's dark that feels like really guys i got i got it feels like a lot and i don't know
if it's because taylor confessed on
the show that he watches it three times a day but it's just in my head let me paint a picture for
you carson i've got in my head taylor stuck in my head i've got young children running around a wife
we've got nannies we've got people in and out of the house all the time the last thing i need is
for someone to bust into the room with my ankles or my pants down around my ankles, beating my knee in the corner.
Like it would just be devastated.
I don't need that to happen in my life.
I'm way too far along to like get caught in that position.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
Like that would just be terrible.
Can you imagine?
I was like, hey, I got the new flower collection for whatever you're putting in the house.
If I catch you watching porn, you know what I'm going to say?
Let them.
You won't care. I mean, that's the thing.
I would rather not have the porn than even risk for a second
getting caught in that house. I would love to catch
you watching porn. No, and imagine like the
face. No, I would just love it. That's
every guy's worst nightmare to be caught with that face
alone. And that face is
tough. You know, like someone's like,
everyone's like, oh, you shouldn't be ashamed. Like you should talk about sex. Some things you should be ashamed of. You get caught
with your hands down on your ankle in your house. Remember when we were in Aspen and I took Weston's
phone and was like trying to order something and like all this porn popped up. Okay. I guess we're
just going to put him on blast. Okay. What's your number two? Okay. This is number four now. Okay, Michael,
whatever. Number four is, I think this is a really valuable exercise that everyone can do that we
don't do enough as people. And that is to make an audit list of what worked and what did not work
in the year. So that's a good one. Literally you could create a T chart. Remember those old T
charts you created in school and you say on one side, what worked for me and the other side, what didn't work for me. And you could go down and you could
say the routines that work, the routines that didn't work. You could say, you know, the habits
that work, the habits that didn't work. You can say, you know, um, you know, if you've been
watching politics for the last eight years through two different administrations and you haven't been
executing because you've been telling yourself that this administration is holding you back. Maybe that's not working. I just went on a tangent. Friends,
relationships, all sorts of things you could really and go through. Honestly, this is the
hard part because a lot of us struggle with self-awareness going through and saying what
really was serving me and what really was not. And then by the end of that list, you'll have a
blueprint of what you should continue doing in the future and throughout the year, what you should do more of and what you should maybe think about eliminating or doing less of.
I think friends is a good one, too.
If you're constantly complaining about a friend, it's just not working.
To me, I would rather walk on the beach.
I would rather take a walk outside.
I would rather meditate.
I would rather eat good pizza with my kids. I just, if it's not someone that you're really excited about, it might not just be a fit. And listen,
there's different seasons of friendships. If you're constantly complaining about the same
friend over and over, you're the problem, not the friend. Yeah, but you could even do it with
content. Like what content's been working for you? What's not been working for you? What,
you know, sleep routines, what stuff like all of these things. I think we go through life and we just get into these habits and these routines doing
the same things and the same patterns over and over.
We don't stop enough to assess what's working and what's not.
And this could even be for what's going on with dating or in relationships.
Like once you go through the list and you're honest about it and you, and you, you know,
put as many things on there as you can, then you can at least move forward into the next year or this year
with an idea of what you should keep doing
and what you should maybe think about eliminating.
Taylor should audit his Google history
and look at all the different kinds of plethras of porn
that he's been watching and see what's been working for him
and what hasn't.
I bet, I know we're on the porn tangent,
that if more guys were honest about if porn is working for them or against them, you would have less people participating.
And again, I have no problem.
If that's your thing, that's your thing.
But if you're coming too quick in the bedroom, that's probably a problem.
Or if you're having intimacy issues, or if your testosterone is low, or if you're not getting dopamine, or if maybe you can't get turned on.
There's a million things that I think that causes issues that causes issues with, but anyways, um, hopefully Taylor's editing this.
Okay. This one, I think every single person on the planet who has a phone needs to think about
having really purposeful boundaries around my phone. That is my 2025 energy. I don't want to be someone that is like Ichabod Crane.
Like I don't want to be Ichabod Crane in my phone.
I don't want my kids to see that.
I want to put away my phone every single time I come home and spend uninterrupted,
fully present time with them, with my husband at the dinner table.
I don't want a phone.
I don't want to phone. I don't want
to use my phone when I'm walking to the bathroom. I just, I want to be thoughtful about it because
what I'm noticing is that everyone around us is addicted to their phone. Like it's, it's honestly
crazy. And I'm not discluding myself. It's just like, we can't do anything without the phone.
And so this year I want to almost be like really mindful of when
I'm using it and when I'm not. And one thing I've done, yes. I'm just waving at you because it's
really awkward to hear you talking. I'm just like, I'm over here, buddy. I'm just over here in the
corner. I'm going to just turn your head a little. I'm not talking to you. Okay. Let me get my protractor out.
The phone is, I think, going to become a problem.
I see people getting more addicted, not less addicted.
I literally think people are going to start going to rehab for their phone.
It's so dismissive and obnoxious too when you're talking to someone.
And by the way, I'm including myself in this.
I don't think I'm superior.
Lauren, you're literally saying what's dismissive. And what what is it while you're not looking at me as you're talking
am i insane are you insane or are we insane so um i just you're making me laugh michael
well i'm over i'm surprised i make you do anything considering you're not even looking at me. You do look dewy. I haven't seen you today. Oh. What do I look like in your peripheral?
You look dewy. I just really want this next year for me to put away my phone intentionally. So
one thing that I've done this year that's been absolutely game-changing that I think everyone
should try is I put away my phone at 7.30. That's it. The phone's on
airplane mode. It's off. I never bring it to bed. I don't want my phone to be my security blanket
in bed. I don't think it's a good example for my children. I don't associate my phone with rest.
I just think my phone's disgusting by 7.30. I work off my phone. My phone's constantly around
me. Everything I do for social media is on my phone. By 7.30, I'm done with it. It's put away.
And out comes the Kindle in dark mode. And that helps me to wind down and relax.
So I think what I'm saying with this one is I would really have a plan and a strategy when
it comes to your phone for this year. Don't just like numb out on your phone and use it as some distraction. I know for me, I'm also going to be making sure that my phone is
away until like nine or 10 in the morning. So I have that time. I do that most of the time,
but sometimes you get sucked in. So it's kind of a work in progress.
All right. I got half of that because I wasn't making eye contact with you. So hopefully that one I can apply.
Cry me a river.
This one, I think you'll agree with me on. And I really thought about something that
made me happy this year that I haven't done for the last few years. We've just been so into it with
kids and work and the show and everything. But I think it's interesting and maybe beneficial
for everyone to think about
taking on and learning either a new hobby or a new skill set. For example, what we did this year
is we both got really into tennis. And this was something that I never played before growing up.
It's something that I really wanted to learn how to get better in. I'm still obviously a
huge work in progress. Tennis is very enjoyable yet very frustrating at the same time.
I know, but that's why it's like, it's fun.
Yeah, I love it.
It's like chipping away.
And so anyways, the tip there is it doesn't have to be tennis, but I think it's a great idea for anyone to think of a hobby or a skill or an art that you can pursue that takes you out of your work, out of your family life, out of your relationship, out of your problems. It's going to force you to focus on that. So if you've been someone that's
like, hey, I really want to get into art, maybe it's taking art classes. If you want to get into
a new sport, maybe it's learning that sport. In our case, it was tennis. If you want to learn
a new skill set or study something different, whatever it may be, I think we take life so
seriously. We don't incorporate nearly enough play and leisure and downtime.
And so for us, it was tennis.
It was also a little bit of Pilates.
I think I'm going to pick another thing this upcoming year to try to get into.
You're going to talk about your Pilates?
I got into it a little bit.
I'm still learning more.
But these are things that Pilates and tennis, I never did in my entire life before.
I'm 38 or 37.
And so to take those on at this stage of life,
it just proved to me like, Hey, you can keep doing things. And I think it, um, the learning
curve is interesting and it takes me out of my work and out of the stress and on my family life
and all of that. So I would suggest everybody just kind of pick one thing that's been in the
back burner or back of your mind to pursue in 2025 because, um, I think it's enhanced everything else.
Michael is very good at Pilates.
I'm not very good at it. Tennis also was recommended to me by Dr. Amen because he scanned my brain and told me that
to avoid dementia or Alzheimer's, I needed to take on a sport. What was it that used
my coordination?
People that play rocket sports, particularly tennis, ping pong,
I don't know the other one.
Studies have shown that they can live 10 years longer.
So yeah, it's a great sport.
It's so much fun.
I think it's helped our marriage.
It's like we've even involved our kids and we got the best.
And our friends.
Our friends are involved.
We got the best tip from this teacher that said that you should take your kids on the court
for only 15 minutes. And
then when it's starting to get fun, you should pull them off. Well, he's also very competitive.
The idea is that you want them to crave doing it as opposed to be excited and not be overwhelmed
with like, oh my God, I have to play this sport. I'm not, I don't want to be a parent that's like
constantly pushing my kids into every single activity every day. I want to see what they gravitate towards
and I want to see what they like
and I want to make sure they're enjoying it.
I don't want to be like a mom
that has 6,000 things for them to do every day.
This is like a bonus for the couples out there.
I think Lauren and I deciding to play tennis together
has also been good for our relationship
because when you travel or when we're together,
we can play it together. You can age with it. And there's always
tennis courts around the world. So we found something to do together as a couple that we're
both learning at. We don't do enough together. Yeah. Well, we wanted another thing to do together.
Okay. What's next? Let's see. What is this? Number eight?
I don't know, Michael.
Losing track. Number seven.
Oh, this one you'll be so happy about. So I read every single night. It is non-negotiable. It's the most important thing. One of the most important things I do every day. It's to me
like working out. I want to work out seven days a week. I want to read seven days a week. It's
a streak that I'm on. I think it just
makes you smarter, better, faster, sharper, more powerful. What if I start talking like this?
I'm like, well, isn't that gonna be weird if I was just like, you're going to be happy. This is
your Christmas present. I'm finally committing on air to reading the books that my husband has
asked me to read. Oh, we'll see. We'll see. No, I am. So which ones have I asked me to read oh we'll see we'll see no i am so which ones have
i asked you to read that you're gonna read shogun by james clovell lonesome dove by larry mcmurtry
noble house i pan first but then no wow uh weston said he didn't love taipan no he loved taipan he
didn't like gaijin okay but gaijin i don't know about gaijin listen for the james clovell readers
out there james clovell is amazing author um they just made Shogun into a show, which was pretty good.
So one thing that I'm committing to is reading outside of the typical genres that I read in.
And you should be really excited about this because Michael and I, we love to read together.
Another thing we do together.
Was it because this morning I crushed you in Trivial Pursuit and you thought you were going to win, but your focus was too narrow?
No.
Oh.
No. You knew questions about Hello Kitty today. That did help. Yeah. I read vast and wide and far and long. Okay. Well, I am not only going to keep my streak of reading every
night, but I want to examine what I'm reading and make sure it's very broad. So that's sort of just
like a New Year's resolution that I can implement every
day a little bit. I don't like to take on this huge sandwich of a resolution.
By the way, as a tangent timeout here, anyone that reads Shogun and Lonesome Dove will write
in and thank me later if you haven't read them already, because these are like some of the
greatest works of our time. And you're going gonna you're gonna read and be like wow i should
have read that a lot earlier okay i've read each of them three times i love them so much you can
go back and read great books so i'm just gonna really um be mindful of what i'm reading this
upcoming year your son's middle name is one of the names from the characters of lonesome dove
i picked it out no you how would you it out if you've never read the book?
I'll tell you how I picked it out.
This is a true story.
You guys do not believe him.
This is unbelievable.
I started reading Lonesome Dove and I'm about 40 pages in.
That's even worse.
And in it, I met the character Woodrow Call.
No.
Yes, but that's...
Hold on, that's even worse.
And then I looked at you and i said we should name town's
middle name call you know why it's worse and you lit up and then you rebranded it as your own idea
you know why it's worse why because you have no clue what that character did or what happens or
who knew that that was your favorite book so i was like this is genius lauren you know that
character is a serial rapist okay i'm just kidding it's not but what if it was it's not but what if
it was see what's next
fuck see you don't even know what's going on this is this is why you need to read the book
okay go ahead hopefully that joke's not too off color it's already in there we're not editing it
okay um my next one is that you know we've done all this work to figure out our intentions to
set the year to figure out our goals to audits what's working and what's not doing. And then I have a note that I always talk about with people
close to me. I say, it's now it's time to rally the troops, the team, the support system, the
people around you. I think if you just hold your goals and your aspirations inside, that's half the
battle. But really when you share your intentions and your goals and what you want to happen with
people that are a true support system around you, that's when they actually start
to manifest and become real.
So a lot of things we're saying on this show, we're sharing to a very wide group of people.
And now we're going to be held to account by that group, which is you guys.
I also think you see this work when people start to get in the gym and they have a buddy
system, someone they can train with.
You start to see better results.
If it's a reading friend, you're in a book club, whatever it is.
If you're in a company and you're with a group of people and you say you want to achieve a certain
goal. If you're in a relationship and a family and you sit down as a family and say, this is what we
want to happen. So it's important to speak these goals and intentions into the world and into
people around you that actually care about you so that you can be held to account. Even for the negative things, say you have maybe a poor friendship patterns or poor dating
habits, saying what you won't do to people around you and asking them to help you through
it is going to help you stay accountable to yourself.
And so it's a very simple one, but it's basically speaking to the people around you,
sharing your intentions, sharing your goals and letting people
know that you expect to be held accountable to all of them. I kind of agree with you,
but I kind of don't. Okay. I was talking about this to my trainer Brent today.
I'm not a fan of people that run around talking about what they're going to do without action.
So while that's different. Yes. But I also think like less talk, more action. So while that's different. Yes. But I also think like less talk, more action.
Yes. I mean, listen, there is nothing worse than people just chatting and chatting and chatting.
An idea is just an idea is just an idea. We've covered that for many years on the show. If you're
just saying what you're going to do, or you're talking about how this guy or girl is so terrible
to you in the relationship and you're, you're not going to, you're just droning on and on without
making changes. Or there's a business idea that we've been talking
about since 2023. Yeah, no. The idea here is that, again, this is why you have to share it with
people that are actually your support system and actually care about you. If you're just saying
things to people and they're not holding you to account or calling you on your bullshit when you
fall short of what you've said you're going to do, then those people don't really care about you. They're not really your friends.
By the way, I also think this is important to say. I've done this before multiple times.
I remember, and I don't think we've ever told the story on the show,
I was talking about launching this blog 14 years ago. I was talking about it all the time to
Michael. I have this idea for this blog. It's going to be like this resource for women everywhere. It's going to have little tips and tricks and health ideas. And I would
talk to him about it and talk to him about it. Finally, one day over oysters at Morton's,
we were having chilled martinis with blue cheese stuffed olives. You said,
this is the last time I'm talking about it. Launch it. And I did. I did. But this is like when your back I did but this is like when your back hurts
this is also like when your back hurts you tell me your back it's not the same as your back hurts
thousand times my thing is if your back hurts let's let's put some systems in place let's go
lay on the pmf back hurts I'm carrying all your bullshit let's let's go get a body worker let's
go get your back stretched let's get in the gym let's move let's get worker. Let's go get your back stretched. Let's get in the gym. Let's move.
Let's get it together.
Let's get some Bengay in the back.
Some fucking tiger bomb, bitch.
Let's get some systems to get your back feeling.
It's not a good analogy, but I get where you're going with it.
Okay.
Is it my turn?
No, but anyways, yes.
Okay.
To wrap that up though, you have to share these things with people that are going to
hold you to account.
If you have people that are just commiserating with you and listening to you share the same thing over and over without holding you to account,
then it may be time to revisit that support group. Also, I had young sisters. I would watch them
gossip with the gals. Is that what you call it? Over and over. And I would have to say, Jordan,
Tara, that girl's not your friend. She just wants to see you fall down. And I would have to tell her
to step back from those kinds of people. So guys, girls, if you're just commiserating with people
and you're never making change
and they're just sitting there
empathizing with you all the time,
like maybe that's not what you need.
Once in a while, it's okay
to kind of get things out.
But if it's all the time over and over
and you're all both in the same place,
it's time to switch friend groups.
Anyways.
My last and final one is I do this chart.
I have done it every year
for the last five years.
Michael doesn't even know this.
And it's called the more and less chart. And I've done this every single year. And what I do is on one side of the
page, it says more. And on the other side of the page, it says less. And I write what I want more
of this year and what I want less of. This could be anything from you want less alcohol, you want less toxic friends, you want more time on your calendar,
you want more space on your calendar, you want less housewives, whatever it is,
you make a more and less and you write down everything in a very granular way.
So it's not like broad things. It's actually very specific. And sometimes my list has like 50 on each side
and every single time where I need like my compass straightened, is it a compass? My leveler
straightened? I don't know. Like a picture leveler. Yeah. Every time I want my leveler
straightened throughout the year or I need clarity, I go back to that list and I just look at it
and you can literally take a
picture of it and put it on the background of your phone. You can just have it on your phone
in your favorite section so you can constantly just remind yourself of where you're going and
who the fuck you are. Got it. I will just say this one last time on this episode because I
just wanted to be honest if I miss anything here. I am a much better communicator when I can look at someone in the
eyes. So on your list, you can write less side view, more straight on. We are trained to, when
we have interactions with people, to look them in the eyes so that you can listen to them clearly.
So I think- You know what I say to that? Let them.
I think I kept up, but okay. This is the last one on the list, guys. I think it's
interesting. It's different. I've only done it once or twice because it came to me. Again,
I will not take credit for it. I am a huge fan or am still was fan of Charlie Munger.
Rest his soul. He just passed. And I've read a bunch of his work and I follow him and I like
his speeches and I just think he's got a ton of wisdom. So anyways, he wrote something along the lines of write your own
obituary and then live in that way. Meaning like he was saying, if you were to write your own
obituary about what you want people to say at the end of your life. Have you written yours?
No, no. So I'll get to the point. Okay. I should write it. So don't you reel me here.
So he was saying, write your own obituary and then live. So like, for example, if someone said, oh, he was a loving husband that was faithful and treated everybody, like all these things, then it's really easy to kind of live in that way. You say about you at the end of this year. So in my
case, I could say, hey, Michael Bostic was such a great businessman this year. He stayed so focused.
He managed all of his stuff without stress. He still took care of himself. You could write all
of this stuff down. I'm just giving you an example. And essentially, if you write that,
it sets again the intention for the year because now you're held to account. And then I think
periodically, if you have that written down in your journal or on your computer or on your phone
app or whatever it may be, you could refer to what you would want a third party to write about you
from an accomplishment and a human perspective at the end of this year. And then again, you just
act accordingly. So a lot of the advice that I've been giving on this episode is actually just to
get in the mindset to create the identity
that you need in order to execute against your vision and your goals. Again, something else I
won't take credit for. If you read Atomic Habits from James Clear, who I want him on the show,
he says that it's much easier to adopt a habit when you take on an identity. And so you can't
just set a goal or say you want to do a habit
without also taking on that identity. So again, like some of the examples he uses, like,
I want to be, I'm going to be a healthy person. So then you can live the way a healthy person
would. I want to be a great career person or business person. Then you could live that way.
And I think the same thing here, you just, you write down this summary of what you want someone
to say about you at the end of the year. And then you just live in that way with that intention and
with that identity.
Happy new year.
Happy new year,
everybody.
Thank you for listening,
watching.
Tell us what the best time of the year is on my latest post.
I thought you were saying that to me.
Cause it's the first time.
I want to know what everyone thinks.
The best time of the year to have time to yourself,
to do a think week is January 2nd to the 7th.
Tell me if I'm wrong. I again gonna just like you are living in the clouds everyone that carson agrees with me
in a company is getting bombarded on the second they're not though everyone is burnt out they're
tired it's it's like they just why are they tired they just took a long kind of a hibernation
period they didn't take a break if they're around their family the entire time making small talk with aunt
fran but that's why i'm sorry but that's why you get the break after making small talk i'm gonna
go ask the entire office right now i said it you get the small talk done on jan on december 27th
by the way i'm gonna beat michael's ass in trivia tonight no you're not thank you everybody
appreciate you all happy new year