The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - #13: Is Monogamy a Real Thing? Working with friends and family, and how to stay positive when life gets tough.

Episode Date: June 2, 2016

On this episode We address what it's like working with friends and family members and give our opinions on staying in a monogamous relationship. We also answer questions on How to deal with negativity and stay positive when life gets tough. To learn more about The Skinny Confidential visit the site HERE To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE

Hi everyone, we are back with the Skinny Confidential Him and Her podcast. We hope you will review our free podcast on iTunes and subscribe and tweet us questions at the hashtag Ask Him and Her. And with that, we will get right into it. And I just want to say sorry for being a little bit late this week. Usually we go for that Tuesday release, but this week we're a little bit late because I forgot the podcast equipment and we were running around this weekend in Palm Springs in Los Angeles, which we'll get into in a second. So completely my fault. Won't happen again. I

wanted to shoot myself. I was so disappointed. He was so disappointed in himself that he forgot the podcast equipment and I was so happy with myself because for once it wasn't my fault. Well listen we've been we've been uh it's been a it's actually been a lot going on for both of us the last couple we just got back from our trip Lauren's a birthday trip we're both a little bit jet lagged a little bit flustered. A little bit you've been so flustered he was even flustered during the trip when we were supposed to be relaxing. You took me to all these sites that I've never seen. And I'm so excited to get into it and look at everything and absorb it. And he has to hit every spot he wants to take me to.

But the second we get there, he's running out. Well, no, no. It's not that I'm running out. It's just like i want to get there we want to see the sights but then we want to enjoy you just want me to just look at it and then run out well i don't want to waste too much time like we get it david's pretty he's good he's good he's great he's sculpted they did it by hand we appreciate that i took like five minutes to take an instagram and he was hyperventilating in the corner no i mean i want to say that like

when people ask me in conversation have you done this or seen this i want to say that like when people ask me in conversation have you done this or seen this i want to say yeah i've done that but like we don't need to do it for too long like we get it it wasn't that long so we get it we appreciate it it's great but like you know okay well i see it learn about it so basically i saw david as long as you guys saw david on snapchat which was 10 seconds so um yeah that was that um and now i am so jet-lagged and it's been like i keep telling her i'm like listen jet lag's all mental and you can't give into it she's been giving into it she's not listening to me at all you're not you're not listening to anything i'm telling you i say don't take a nap you take a nap i say power through it you don't power through it

okay let me tell you guys yesterday i powered through powered through it. I was so tired. I was a zombie. I got all my work done. I powered through it. I got into bed. I did my blog. I had everything done. My email inbox was kind of like at 11 or something low. And I was so happy.

Got into bed with my book. I'm reading Teresa Giudice's book about prison, which is really good. You guys should read it. It's very juicy. And I was up until 4 in the morning. Yeah, but I mean, I don't know why you're doing that to yourself. It's not that I'm doing it to myself. You are because you're not allowing yourself to mentally overcome jet lag. Here he goes. Now he thinks that I believe everything's mental. You go wherever I am in the world, I just tell myself that I'm supposed to be on that time

and then I have no problem. All right. Well, there you go. That's Susan. Yeah. So we went to Palm Springs this weekend, straight off of my sister's baby shower. And we were celebrating Weston's birthday. And Weston, you guys have seen him maybe on Snapchat. He's Michael's best friend. He's very shy. He's getting better. He's not that shy. Weston, if you're listening, you're doing better. You're doing better, Weston. I've been putting him out there in the limelight. Tell him how we met, Weston.

I don't know. I met Weston when we were in seventh grade. Michael and I were both in seventh grade. I have a funny story to tell about Weston, actually. We can't wait to hear it. So, anyways, me and Weston met in seventh grade. He was about eight feet taller than me. I was about about four foot one and he was about eight foot seven i feel like you're three one yeah so anyways we started becoming friends you know like when you're in seventh

grade you have your friends over your house like oh you can spend the night and then like you like you know guys like play video games or like run around in the yard or whatever so anyways um we were sleeping that night um He was sleeping on, I had a couch in my room. He was sleeping on the couch. I was sleeping in the bed and I woke up in the middle of the night. And Weston, if you're listening, you're a huge creep. I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw this weird figure standing. I have this, I used to have this door that kind of, that was like led to a patio outside my room. It was a sliding door and it had these big drapes. And I woke up and I saw this bump these big drapes. And I woke up

and I saw this bump behind the drapes. And I was like, what the hell is that? Like, what's back there? And I go, Weston, is that you? And he turns around

with the most rage I've ever seen and screamed at me to fuck off in the middle of the night. And I was terrified because I just met this guy. He's eight foot one.

I'm three foot two. And he's screaming at me from behind the curtains. And I started thinking, like, what the hell is this guy doing up's eight foot one. I'm three foot two. And he's screaming at me from behind the curtains. And I started thinking like, what the hell is this guy doing up in the middle of the night behind the curtains? Turns out that he woke up and slept while he had no recollection of the morning. Were you guys drunk in seventh grade? No, we were dead sober. I woke up and I was like, Hey man, you're a, you're a big weirdo. He had no recollection. And from there, our friendship bloomed. We ended up going to high school together and then college shout out to u of a i was very scholarly so was he we uh we learned a lot of lifelong skills like and um we lived

together through college and then um we actually got into a couple businesses together he had a furniture line in los angeles that i was invested in and um now he's he's ended up putting that on the back burner for a little bit he's down in in San Diego working with Lauren and I on some new projects. Yeah. So he invited us up to Palm Springs for his birthday. We stayed at our friend's Christmas house and just drank beers and read and relaxed by the pool. Well, that's what we did. Oh, well, what did I do?

No, I said that's what we did. Oh, you and I. Yeah. Our friends, on the other hand, went ballistic. Yeah, we're so boring. We're in a retirement home like i was using wheelchair access yeah i showed up with an ernest hemingway book and everyone else was like he literally showed up with an ernest hemingway book you're a grandpa

i should roll you over and change your depends um so yeah travel um has been kind of a theme this month and it's just really important to us because it's a priority. We make it a priority because we feel like it enhances our life in every single way. It enhances the blog. It enhances the business. We've talked to you guys about this before. It's our number one thing we kind of splurge on. Yeah, and we don't want to get to the end.

And this is just, you know, we're not preaching, but I think it goes for both of us when I say we don't want to get to the end of the road, so to say, and regret not doing these things now. I mean, you're at the end of the road with your own assembly way back. Yeah, I'm getting pretty close. I've got about probably four more years in me. But seriously, not a joke. God, I felt like such a loser. They're all like, hey, okay, after we have these drinks and this dinner, then we're going to go to this club. And I was like, guys, what do you mean?

There's stuff after dinner? We were so nervous when they said that. He was like, ugh. I'm like, guys I had some I had some pasta it's over buddy like it's done so you're ready to roll over he tried to play beer pong for like two minutes and then I don't think you're good at that either I don't know no I crushed beer pong you do yeah so you had like a beer and a half and then you were done no but I'll no I I mean I was trying to act the cool part and be like yeah I'm pumped to go to like wherever you guys are going. But really, I was like, God, I hope these guys drink enough so they can pass out so

that I can go to bed and wake up early. Did you really think that? Yeah. And then guess what? I did get up early and they were all fucked up. They're all sleeping and watching movies on the couch. I was out by the pool reading my Ernest Hemingway. I was the only one out there.

Even you were sleeping. You were jet lagged though, which is different. Jet lagged. Yeah. All right. I got a bad sunburn. So we're back to business. And our first order of business is this deal that we're working on for the podcast.

Like we said, we launched this, and then we just sort of moved swiftly to get it to where we wanted it to be. And we were very strategic about what we wanted from the beginning. Which you kind of – you fought with me a little bit in the beginning. No, I mean, Lauren's a perfectionist. No, but it's obnoxious how,

how bad it is. No, it's, I put an Instagram today up of our pantry and people are emailing me being like, I think you have problems. Lauren's a perfectionist. To the point where it hurts me. To the point where it hurts. Sometimes I,

I'm playing a very, very long game. I think where I think looking back on history I'm hoping that people are saying okay that guy was right and he had some good ideas and you want people to look back on history and say you were right I can everyone write that down meaning meaning this and I think anybody should think about tweet that out yeah I think people should really consider this um winning in the short term is not as important as winning in the long run. And I want people to look back and be like, yeah, you know, that guy launched and he had

a rocky start with that podcast and it was kind of weird. And the marble floors. And the marble floors. And it wasn't very good. But then it became something great. Well, that's how you become great. Yeah, that's how you become great. Greatness is done a little bit every day.

Everyone always wants to know the epiphany of when I looked at my blog and said, wow, I feel like I'm a full-time blogger. And there's no epiphany. It's a little bit of work every single day writing it. And that's exactly what we've done with this podcast. We're working on it every day. Even when we were in Florence and Venice, we're working on the podcast. We're making ideas.

We're making outlines. And so now we've finally gotten to a place where we think we're ready to move the podcast to a different level. Yeah, you know what's interesting? When we first started this, if you remember, we didn't start with any outlines. We just kind of shot it and talked. Well, we should have. We have a couple of outlines now. And it basically just helps us stay on track because we took the feedback from you guys and said, listen.

I don't even understand your writing, so I'm not even going to use that line. Sometimes these guys get all over the place and that's because in the beginning this wasn't formatted at all it was really a very very raw interpretation of what we thought a podcast should be now it's there's a little bit of structure to it but like i said i really want this to be a long play i think that we both enjoy podcasting a lot um here's the thing about podcasting too podcasting is very much like blogging where as a blog you're not always going to stay the same a blog follows your life it follows your day-to-day mood maybe one week you realize something and you have an epiphany about

something you're going to write about that you're transitioning you're moving you're evolving and a podcast is like that too so what's this podcast i hope does for you guys is it shows um you know how we're evolving and how we're growing and how maybe if you can take something away from this that helps you grow, that's exactly what we want. And it's really cool to be able to bring that to you in free content. Yeah. So when I'm saying launching this fast, we definitely launched it very quickly with some very raw equipment. We're working on a new deal now that is really, really going to elevate the quality of this podcast. It's going to elevate the production.

It's going to elevate the structure. It's going to make it better for you guys. And still be free. It's going to give us the capability that we can bring other people onto the show and and showcase them and yeah for free obviously and we're just really excited about it none of this would have been possible if we didn't launch it fast and um and none of this would have been possible if you guys weren't listening so thanks for listening thanks for subscribing thanks for reviewing um and we're excited to bring you more yeah with that i want to get into some questions and the first one is

from brandon and brandon asks i know you guys have hired family and friends how has that worked out and do you recommend this for others oh well no i'm just kidding kind of um hiring family and friends can either be fucking amazing or not so fucking amazing. Don't you think? Yeah. I think people, like I've hired friends and family. Good friends and not too good of friends, like acquaintances. Yeah.

And like Lauren said, it could be really, really amazing or it could be really hard. I think one of the most important things for this is for that family member or friend to understand when it's time to do business, it's time to do business and we need to separate that. Like I always tell my guys, like, please don't put me in the position where I have to be your boss. Like, don't make me the dickhead that's got to come in and say, hey, so and so, you're not doing your job. Like, just don't do that. It gets really, really awkward. And then I, you know, you look like an asshole. You feel like an asshole.

Like, it's definitely created a little bit of distance, I'd say. What do you mean? Elaborate. Like, I'm not out as often with some of my friends that work for me as I'd like to be. It's not that I don't want to be. I love those guys. I love my friends. I love my family.

But, you know, it is. It's just a different dynamic. It I love my family, but you know, so it is a different dynamic. It's a different layer. Yeah. Yeah. It's definitely a different layer. You have to set boundaries before you go into it. Um, I am in the position right now where I've decided that I also want to bring on some people I don't know. Um, I think mixing the two can be really powerful. Having some friends and family there that always a hundred percent have your back and then having some people that don't know you, I think that, um, that can add a lot of value to your business. Um, I think that you would have to feel it out. I think your intuition, your gut will sort of tell you if it's going to work or not. Um, and just get on the same page before you start working. Yeah. I've had to, I've had to fire friends and it's

awkward. It's really awkward. Yeah. Um, it's awkward for everyone and you know, you're affecting people's lives. But at the same time I said, you know, I look at it as like, what, what's the, you know, just because we're friends when we're here to do business, we're here to do business. And there's gotta be a layer. There's gotta be that layer where you understand, listen, I'm the boss, you're the employee. And then when we're outside of business, it's a different story. So would we recommend it? I would say we would recommend it if it's the right fit. And the only person that can tell if it's the right fit is you. Just be really careful that you don't get yourself in a situation that's awkward and that you kind of feel like you

can't get out of yeah but then again i have guys that work for me yeah tell them about dante and rocco dante and rocco are twins i've been friends with them since first grade they work for me in the business jetbed and they're amazing they're amazing they kill it you know what what's one thing that's really amazing they care about me they care about the business um they look at the bigger picture yes they care and the day-to-day yeah no they care about me. They care about the business. They care about the bigger picture. Yes, they care. And the day-to-day. No, they care about everything. They do an amazing job.

So shout out to both of them because really they... And they're single and they're twins. So if there's any hotties out there... They're ready to mingle. And then Taylor. You know Taylor, I've known since seventh grade. And same story. You have a lot of like seventh grade connections.

My sister works for you. Which is very incestuous around here. We've got a lot of incest going on. Yeah. works for you, which is very incestuous around here. We've got a lot of incest going on. Yeah. I mean, I've known you since you were 12. That's a little brotherly. Yeah. If any of my other family members are listening, just let me know if you need some work and

I'll just, I'll hire you and we can just mosey on down. It is very incestual though. No, it's very incestual. Dogs are in the office. I feel like when we have kids, they'll be like bouncing in there. If there's anybody out there that's not my family or friends, please apply now. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Um, okay. What's next? You want to talk about how you threw together a baby shower? Very exciting. Your sister's having a baby. Yeah, let's go off since we're on the family topic. Um, my sister, her name is Faye, which I love her name, is having a baby.

I'm going to be an uncle. Uncle creepy. Am I an uncle? We're not married yet. I don't know. I don't know. You'll have to see if we get married or not. I haven't decided.

Yeah, so my little sister is having a baby and, um, it's a boy. So this weekend, my stepmom and my other little sister put together a baby shower for her. That was really special and really fun. Um, it was downstairs by our pool and we had suture juice and beautiful flowers and, um, sugarfina candy, like very girly. I'm going to blog about the whole experience you guys so stay tuned I literally threw together the baby shower in about a night well you like to do this thing I like to do this thing where it's last minute no because I thrive on procrastination

well you get to do this thing too where you don't tell me what's going on and then the day of if I'm not there with all hands on deck, I'm the worst person in the world. I'm the worst fiance. I'm the worst boyfriend. I almost castrated you this weekend because all I told him, I said, I literally did everything.

Everything's done. All you have to do is show up. I know it takes 20 minutes to do your hair. I counted that in. Like everything was ready. I asked him, please go to whole foods and get seven bottles of chilled champagne that's all you had to do i did that though you did that but you were you showed up at 350 when the shower was at four it takes 20 minutes to do your hair you needed to

carry in the champagne i needed you to carry stuff downstairs there was a long list of honey do's and you were just honey don't. Wait, let me tell you this. We always got to account for your hair. No, but why? I just want to be so completely blunt and open about this. Oh, okay. So what else?

You don't say. What else is new? You don't say. What else is new? Listen, why do you girls insist on, like any of you girls out there, I promise you, there is not a man in the world that wants to go to your baby shower. Let me finish. Are we happy that you're having a baby?

Yeah, great. Perfect. Good for you. We'll be there. We like the kid. Do you want to go to the baby shower? Absolutely not. And the worst part is we all get there.

Your dad's there. Your cousin's. My sister and her boyfriend. And every single guy there. More incest. Yeah, more incest. Every single guy that's there, even the father of the child. We're all looking at each other like, yeah, we don't want to be there.

We're making small talk. It sucks. I mean, then everyone's doing the baby quiz like, oh, who's celebrity baby is this? We don't care. Okay, first of all. But we're supportive. But we just don't want to be there. Does that make sense?

We got it. We got it. It's noted. Although my baby shower, you will 100% be there and all my guy friends will be there. Don't worry. I'll have a cat. If any of my guy friends listen and you get the invite, I promise you, you do not have to go.

No, I will literally make them go. No, but why though? Let's get into it. Why do you girls want to have... Most girls probably don't. I will be honest at why I want guys at baby showers. I have a lot of guy friends and i love being surrounded by guys not in a way that i need like attention i just like do you want to continue

to have guy friends michael you will be at my baby shower i will have a keg for you i will have i'll have a beer pong table for you no you won't i'll have ernest hemingway i'll have a little lounge chair i'll make it comfortable for you. No, the baby shower was fun. You had fun. You got to make drinks for everyone. My mom does the same thing. She does these events for me and my dad where like, you know, nobody, listen, I love you girls, but nobody wants to go. We don't want to go. Well, you'll be going to mine. Okay. I think every girl should have a couple shower just to piss the guy off. All right. Moving right along. Well, I don't think that would like.

Yeah. We're fine. Yeah. I want to jump out. So I had this conversation this week and there's a couple that's close to our lives. It's going through a little bit of a tougher time. And they came and started asking me some advice on a business they're having. And they were really, you know, I could tell they were in a rough spot. They were feeling down. And, you know, I think they were maybe

looking for the comforting speech. And I kind of came at them a little differently. I came at them with like, listen, like not so comforting, more like pull it together and you can do this. And I'm happy to, a very positive. And I think that, you know, as you, anybody that's in business or anybody that has a job or anybody that's gone through life, like you deal with ups and downs. And I think the most important thing when you're going through those downs is to look at it as positively as you can. You're your own worst enemy. Your mind can be a very tricky place. And the more negative you get, the worse it starts to go for you.

I think what I try to do in everything, when something's going wrong in my life, instead of saying, oh no, this is going wrong, I'm having a rough time, I try to look at it as like, okay, what am I going to learn from this and how is that going to make me better? I totally agree with you. I'm a big fan of when someone throws me a negative, I throw them a

positive. So when you come at me and you're upset about something, I never wallow with you. As your fiance, I always will throw you a positive. And I think even as a friend, if a friend comes at you with something negative, it's always important to spin it in a positive way because when you throw someone back a negative that's already feeling negative it makes it so much worse yeah um i'm a big believer in energy i tell michael this all the time are you nodding your head like making fun of me or do you know i'm not okay so i got jaw surgery i know that you guys know this if you read my blog. And ever since I got the jaw surgery, I don't know why, but I really pick up on energy and whether it's positive or toxic. And if something's toxic, I just remove myself from the situation. And so when someone comes

to me with maybe a situation that's upsetting or negative or even toxic, I think the best thing to do as a friend or family member is to uplift them. 100%. And that's so basic. No, but I will say like- But you forget to do it. One thing that's interesting- Not you, but you know what I mean.

About Lauren and I is, and I think this is why we've been attracted to each other. I'm really proud you used Lauren and I correctly. Yes. Everyone's really proud. Can we have a moment of silence? No matter what either of us are going through, everything will always look okay. Like some people will say, oh, well, you guys don't have any hardships or nothing's wrong. I promise that nobody would ever know if anything's going wrong with us because we're both such positive people that we would not let it affect us.

Well, I mean, that's not necessarily entirely true. I mean, I tell my very close friends and family when i'm going through something negative but i feel like you don't want to bring that energy with you with wherever you go because you kind of you kind of have to someone could tell me that the world's ending tomorrow and i'll say well that's a good thing for this reason and what's the reason though like no i'll just find a reason. And I think, like I said, you could go to a very negative space or you can choose to look at things in a positive.

And I think it's important for people to understand that this is very much in your control, how you choose to look at things. Nobody can dictate how you choose to look at things. And I think it's important to understand that don't worry about what other people think and how other people look at things. It's all about how you look at things. There's that old saying, there's like a, I think it was

like a Nike shoe salesman went down to Africa one time and they were trying to sell shoes down there. And the first guy went down there and came back and said, there's no way to sell shoes down there. Nobody wears shoes. What a terrible market. Second guy went down there and came back and said, holy shit, nobody's wearing shoes. What a great market. Second guy went down there and came back and said, holy shit, nobody's wearing shoes. What a great market. We can capitalize on this. And I think that I'm always going to be that second guy. And I think that's you too.

And I think that's why we meshed well. And what I'll also say about Lauren is to pay you a compliment. Whenever I am feeling down, Lauren – Because it happens. Because it does happen. No, acknowledge it happens. No, it happens. Yeah, it happens.

It happens a lot. Yeah, mostly on Sunday nights when I feel like I've taken a break for too long. Like if I take a break on the weekend. He freaks out. I wait until Sunday at 6. Sunday's the most depressing day in the world to me. I totally disagree with you. But you certainly, he tries to bring my Sunday down.

But you gotta let him. It's the longest time of inactivity in my life, Friday to Sunday. So, but she will always uplift me and be positive and basically say, Hey, quit being negative, but get your shit together. And, um, I really appreciate that. But the sand out of your vagina. Yeah. Scoop it right out. Um, so yeah, so I'm going to be doing a blog post tonight on positive and negative, um, energies and how you can uplift people that are feeling down. And when I say negative, I don't mean negative like, ooh, I don't want to be around that.

I just mean people that maybe aren't feeling positive. No, I think this is very important for a relationship. I think girl or guy, your spouse, if one's feeling down, I think one of the worst things you can do is go down there with them because it makes them feel worse. And one of the best things you can do is uplift them. And I think that that's a formula, one, for success and two, for longevity in a relationship and happiness. And there's nothing wrong, girls, with being kind of manipulative in a good way. Yeah.

Like on Sunday when you're feeling down. Like I'll do a pity party and Lauren will be like, she'll honestly'll honestly be like hey stop being such a pussy i'm not rs and then i'll look at myself like you know i am being a pussy right like quit quit that shit michael like it's it's ridiculous so speaking of relationships we have a question on relationships janessa iberl i hope i'm saying that right um asks do you think monog. Do you think monogamy is realistic anymore? I have become very cynical and don't think it's possible for guys to settle down with one person. I think monogamy is realistic in certain circumstances. But I kind of can see how she thinks it's unrealistic.

I have to be dead honest, and this is really, really true. If I wasn't dating you, I would be dead single. Is that because I'm the best person in the world? No, it's not. I'm sorry, honey. That's not the reason. It's because I just feel like there's something liberating in being single, and I know I found my person.

But if I hadn't found my person I wouldn't settle for anything less I've done a lot of blog posts on why it's so important not to settle settling is so basic and so boring and guess what it's easy and it's comfortable and I'm not I'm not interested in easy and comfortable that's a fucking bore so I think so you didn't settle with me I I didn't settle with you. Boom. So excited. So I think I can understand, though, why women think it's not realistic. Well, let me say this.

I think women, and I'm saying this to you, have an intuition. And they know when a guy is not going to be monogamous like they know you girls know like you know you're not i mean i'm not saying that some guys actually present like a really great picture but what i'm saying is you guys instinctually know like you know yes and no um i think i don't think that's all across the board i think the big conversation here is do two people want to be monogamous like Like that should be a very honest question. But it has to be a want. It's not need.

Yeah, like I got to be dead honest with you and maybe this is going to sound terrible to some people. But I'm not monogamous because of Lauren. Like I'm just not. I'm monogamous because that's what I want to do. You know, I had a relationship in high school. God, I hope these people aren't listening. But I had a relationship in high school and I cheated out of high school, early college and

it was a shitty feeling and I just told myself listen, that's not the person I want to be. But then you did it again in college. Not with me. You never cheated on me. None of those relationships were serious. And again, sorry if any of you are listening. I feel like it's serious though when someone makes you a scrapbook of a year of relationship

but I guess. Well. Okay. Here's, he's proving my point. See. No, let me finish. Let me finish. I can see why monogamy like. Let me finish. Let me finish my point.

I choose to be monogamous, not so much because of Lauren. I love Lauren. I don't want to be with anybody else and yada, yada, yada. But I do it more for myself. I think it's very, it's important to me in my life to know that like, I'm a loyal person. Like I don't want, what would be a terrible thing for me is I'm out here and I'm preaching like how to be good in business and how to have integrity and how to like do things that make you happy. And then if people saw me out being a scumbag and cheating around alone,

they'd be like, yeah, this guy's complete bullshit. Everything he says has no relevance. Like I see all these guys, they want to be like these big businessmen. They want to have all these crazy partnerships and then they go out and they cheat on their girls and they treat them like shit. It's like, listen, man, and I have these friends and I'll call them friends,

but I don't take them seriously. You're going to tell me that you're this great partner and that I can trust you in this great deal and then you're going to go fuck over the person that you're living with, sleeping in a bed with and telling you love, like what the fuck are you going to do to me? Like if you do that to her, what are you gonna do to me? I think it all comes down to integrity. I think that you have to be on the same page with your partner. I mean, I think if you're asking me, do I think monogamy is realistic between me and michael yes because it's a conversation we've had um but i can see why girls are weary of men i mean a lot of them don't have great track records

it's like i said it's easy to be a cheater right it's much harder to be it's comfortable it's easy like it's easy and this is made me sound cocky know if I want, I can go out and find a girl. Really? Yeah, I know. You think you could? 100%. Maybe she's not a Lauren Everts. She's not a Lauren Everts, maybe.

You need some oil on your forehead. But I mean, that's the easy out. And I'm not about the easy. And I think maybe... I know relationships work. We've said this before. It's work. Yeah, it's work.

Oh my God. This relationship is the hardest thing I have to do. I wake up in the morning and I crack my knuckles. I'm like, well, another day at the relationship. No, you don't. Yeah, I'm like, oh. I put on my weight gear. No, but seriously, as a male, yes, it's possibly monogamous.

I can proudly say that I've never stepped out on Lauren. I never will. I'm completely content. And listen, if there's any guys listening, let me just give you what, if you do want to step out and you do want to be with somebody else. That's fine.

It's fine. It's actually 100% fine. Girls, you can't trap these guys. If they want to go, they want to go. But just have the balls. And I say have the balls because it does take balls to say, listen, I'm not feeling this anymore.

And I want to be with other people. And it's really more about what I want to do and not so much about you. There's nothing hotter to me than a guy that doesn't give a shit about what other guys think of him in the terms of staying monogamous. And I'll go back to Weston on this. Our friend Weston is extremely monogamous. And you know what? On that note, he's a ride or or die friend he's a ride or die business partner i believe that how you are in a relationship transcends into every area of your

life well i also think that people who cheat it's it's um it's an insecurity thing right it's like one of these things where you're not sure if you can do it and you're not sure if you're the man or the woman yet you're not sure if you're the man or the woman yet. You're not sure if you're wanted. So you have to do those things to prove to yourself that you're one of those things. And I think it shows a lack of confidence and I think it shows a weakness. And so for me, like I said, I'm confident I could go do all those things if I want. I'm confident that I could do those things better than the guys that are trying to do those things. So I don't need to go do those things. I just don't need to. And I don't want to. I'm fine. Life is much more fulfilling when you have a solid life partner. And you just want to be in bed with

your dogs. But like Lauren said, don't settle then. Like if you have somebody who's, you know, is not going to be monogamous. Settling, by the way, can I just talk about settling for one second? Settling means when you turn 30 and you look around and you think, you know what? This is what I'm supposed to be doing. This is the trajectory I'm supposed to be on. I'm going to do what society tells me to do. And I'm going to go date and then I'm going to get married and then I'm going to have kids, but you're not doing it because it's what you really want to do. You're just settling because you think it's what you're supposed to do. And the reason I think it's really important when I say this, I would not be with Michael. I would be single if Michael wasn't

around. I'd be dead single because I wouldn't be settling for anything less than I believe is going to work for my life. And if that means that I never got married or if that means that I never got married until I was 45, I would be okay with that. I think it's really, really important not to let society dictate how your life is going to go. I'm so sick of the, you turn 30 and you freak out and everyone, who cares? Who cares what anyone thinks? I had a buddy to me that was talking to me that we just spent time with, and I'm not going to talk about him. I'm not going to say his name on here, but you know, and he was basically, I was talking about like maybe we have kids one day, maybe me and you. Like the clock's ticking on that.

I don't know your thoughts about that, but like we'll probably have kids. The clock's ticking on that? Yeah, like we got to get going soon. We don't want to wait until we're 75. I mean, are you birthing the child? I got to get old Michael Jr. running around bouncing on my knee. I'm not naming him Michael Jr. No, we got some cool names, which I'll never reveal until it's too late.

You're so psycho. Any of you people trying to creep in. But so he was telling me, he's like, okay, well, I'm in this relationship, and I'm not ready to have kids, and I'm not ready to do a life. I'm going to do that when I'm 39, and then I'm going to do this. I'm like, listen, you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans, buddy. You know what? I'm so over the age barriers. You

have to do this when you turn this, you have to, you know what else I'm over since we're just going to talk about age for a second, that when you graduate college or while you're in college, that you can't be, and we've talked about this, you can't be working towards what you want to do. I don't care if you're in college. I don't care if you're in high school. If you know what you want to do in life, whether it's business or a charity or an internship, go and do it. Don't let age put parameters on you. Like, I didn't want you to be the one. Does that sound fucked up? I mean, like, I did want you to be the one.

I love you so much and all that. But, like, I was like, yeah, you know, I had it all mapped out when I was in college. I'm like, look, I'll probably go and I'll get out of it. I knew him, but we weren't dating. We weren't dating. And I was like, you know i had it all mapped out when i was in college i'm like look i'll probably go and i didn't know him i knew him but we weren't dating and i was like i'll probably get out of school and then i'll start a business and make a fuck ton of money and then like at 40 i'll get some like wife and like we'll have like the dream like after i've like partied and traveled and it's like wrong wrong wrong like and you know it took me a while to wrap my head like okay it's okay to be with the person who's your one at a young age. Like,

I think a lot of guys struggle with that. Like guys, it's okay to, yeah, we met when we were 12, but we didn't date that long. So you told me, I mean,

I like did a marriage proposal when I was 12. Yeah. It's, I think, no, but I think this is more for guys. And I think women need to understand this. A lot of women in society,

you know, they have the dream of like getting married, having the kids young. And I'm not speaking on this for every woman, cause it's not true for women, but a lot of women in society, they have the dream of getting married, having the kids young. And I'm not speaking on this for every woman because it's not true for everyone, but a lot of women. Not so much for you, Lauren. But a lot of women have the dream like you're going to get married young. You're going to have the dream husband. Well, guys have the opposite dream.

Guys have the dream like we're going to get a little older. We're going to party. We're going to be with all this crazy stuff. Okay, well, that's why I'm a guy at heart and I like to have guys at baby showers. Yeah, so you've got to kind of understand, like, what I would say to all guys out there is life can be very, very fulfilling in a relationship at a young age. Oh, well, thank you, Michael Bostick. And, you know, I just, I don't know. I don't think that, you know, I think people go and say, oh, well, when you know, you know.

Like, I don't think that's necessarily true. I just think, I was talking to my buddy the other day and he was saying that. You and your buddies are doing a lot of talking. Like, you guys are at a baby shower all the time. I mean, I've never heard you talk to somebody. He's got a lot of questions. And he's having a rough time because he's got all these questions. Is she the one?

Is she da-da-da-da? And I'm like, listen, you've already answered yourself. If you have that many questions, she's probably not the one. Like, I didn't have that many questions with you. Okay. Thank you, Dr. Phil. Moving on to the next question. All right. Sammy asks, I just started a new business and some of the people closest to me are being very negative about it. Negativity is a theme in this podcast right now. How do you deal with negativity and how do you not let it affect your mood? Okay. Well, this is definitely playing into the other question. Um, I, how do I deal with negativity around me? Like, I think she's, she's, she's, let me repeat the question. I just started a

new business and some of the people closest to me are being very negative about it. I cannot stress this enough. If I told you guys some of the stories of how some people around me, and this is people that I do not surround myself with anymore, so these are not people I know anymore, were when I started a blog, you guys wouldn't even believe it. I mean, I had people saying things like, you're launching a blog on fitness, but you're not a nutritionist. Little did they know I had just gotten my nutritionist license. I just didn't need to put that all over the internet. They would say things like they didn't know I could write.

Writing, I feel like, is something that you can just do a little bit every single day. And over time, you slowly start to become someone that knows how to have a voice. Do you know what a writer is? What's a writer? Somebody who writes. Period. Like, you don't need to be so fancy. He's reading too much Ernest Hemingway.

No, no, no. It has nothing to do with Ernest Hemingway. I mean, it's somebody who writes. Like, okay, you're not a published writer. Listen, we've talked about this on the podcast before. Like, if you're writing blog posts, you're a writer. Okay, so when I first started, though, I just had some negative naysayers. And if I had let them dictate, again, the theme, letting society dictate what you do, I would have never launched a blog.

Yeah. And to refine on that, I'm not saying you're a good writer. I'm just saying you are a writer. I'm saying you're a good writer. Like, Lauren, you're a good writer. But just because you write on a blog doesn't mean you're good. So, like, you got to have the chops, right? Like, luckily, you backed up what you were doing.

But my favorite thing with you was when you would be taking pictures at dinner and everyone's like, what is she doing? Like what an idiot. This is like six years ago. And now literally people like close to us are clearing the table and setting up the flat lay for her. It's the funniest thing ever. When I first started taking pictures, you guys, like we would be out to dinner and people would be like, can you put that camera away? You're so annoying. Like what are you doing? You think you're a photographer? And I put invisible ear plugs in my ears and just kept at it. I was bartending. I was teaching pure bar and I was

living at my godparents house. Shout out to my godparents and my godparents. Um, and my dad and my parents believed in everything I was doing. They were very supportive. My godparents. And my godparents and my dad and my parents believed in everything I was doing. They were very supportive. My godparents would go in the kitchen and help me make a salad and then we would take it outside and they would help me set it up. And I would take the pictures on my Canon Rebel that I had got for Christmas from you, Michael Bostic. And then I would go upstairs, I would upload my pictures, I would edit it and I would put it on and I did that day after day after day at the same time every day which was two hours before I started bartending and I just did it and did it and did it and after a while I

started slowly seeing results so you're starting a new business and people are being negative who cares yeah they don't get it they're not trying they haven't tried you know those same people that um told you to stop doing that are now literally like laying out the yellow tape around the table when you're doing it. Like nobody get in here. Watch out. Like picture, picture taking place. Yeah. I mean, they have a siren. They're, they're, they're, they're fighting people off. They have, they're holding a light. I think that you can't listen to what anyone else is saying. And I find that when a lot of people are negative about something that you're doing, you're bringing out an insecurity in them.

Yeah. Do you know how many people are like, what the fuck are you guys doing on this podcast? When we started, people near me were like, how do you make money on that? How does that make sense? Still people are saying that. Yeah. How do we make money? I don't know.

We haven't figured that out yet. You know what? This to me, I'm going to approach this the same way I approach vlogging. When I approached vlogging and I cannot say this enough, five and a half years ago, it was not to make money. And that sounds really weird, but the goal was to just create beautiful, valuable content for people around the world. And with this podcast, I hope this it's an extension of that. And the main focus of this podcast is not to make money. Um, like we said, I hope this it's an extension of that. And the main focus of this podcast is not to make money. Like we said, it's free right now. It's going to be free.

It's going to stay free. You're never going to have to pay for this. It's just a place, again, where we can create more value and more content for you guys and connect with you. At one point, the Wright brothers literally said, listen, we're going to build this thing that's going to let us fly around in the air like birds do you know what their parents friends probably said about those people I mean they were probably like what the fuck are you guys talking about

at one point people said hey we're just going to go to the moon right people were like what the fuck are you talking about Johnny and I have to say too there's a lot of bloggers that I think are listening right now. A lot of people that are a lot older than you don't understand how to make money on the internet. And that's okay. And let me tell you why. If everyone understood how you were making money, it would be saturated in my opinion. You don't want everyone to know how you're making money all the time.

I've said it once, I'll say it again. If you're not a little bit embarrassed by your first product and by what you're doing then you're a little bit too late right like you're already there like the party already started i looked back at the old skinny confidential the other day like what i launched with and i thought it was so perfect and what i thought was perfect when i launched now is not perfect it i would it was dreadful i would never have launched perfect. It was dreadful. I would never have launched it. It wasn't dreadful. It was cute. So if someone's negative about your business, keep on your own trajectory. Who cares? Keep doing what you're doing and surround yourself with positive people

like your parents and my godparents were. And Michael's been very supportive and I've had a lot of friends that have been amazing. I think it's really important to recognize toxic energy and cut it out. I refuse to be around negative people. I don't care what the reason is. I just... I don't think negative is the right word. Toxic more.

What's the difference? Like negative, like you can be like... I mean, you were negative on Sunday. Yeah, well, that's because i was i think toxic no i mean generally negative people people that are constantly like that won't work or this won't work or i don't think you should do that it's like listen if the world i don't think you should do that i can't well as an entrepreneur myself i'd like there's it would probably benefit me to look at some of the downsides of some things.

But if you were constantly looking at downsides, you'd never try something with some upsides. Right? Like, I don't want to go through life looking at the negative. I want to go through life looking at what could happen. What's that quote that the guy said in Relentless about the glass? Oh, yeah. Well, that's different. But I believe in this, too.

There's no glass half full, glass half empty. There's either a glass or there's not. That's what he says. And it's true. Like, what the hell are you talking about? Glass half full, glass half empty. Like, shut the fuck up. There's either a glass or there's not. Like that's what he says. And it's true. Like what the hell are you talking about? Glass half full glass half empty. Like shut the fuck up. There's either a glass or there's not a glass. Like simple, right? Like it's, it's not negative or positive. It's just, it is what it is. Well, that's going to end us on our positive note. If you guys want to hear more about positivity and negativity, hang out on my blog tonight. There will be a post up that talks more

about it and definitely make sure that you subscribe, rate us five stars, review our podcast, and use the hashtag ask him and her to ask us any questions. And we will be back next week with free content.