The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - #133: Heather McDonald - Dating Advice, Online Dating, Family Dynamics, Comedy, Reality TV, Kris Jenner & Chelsea Handler

Episode Date: August 28, 2018

On this episode we sit down with fellow podcaster and comedian Heather Mcdonald. As usual this show covers a lot of ground including; dating advice, online dating, family dynamics, professional comedy, reality tv, working with your spouse, and a tangent about Kris Jenner and Chelsea Handler. Heather is a no holds barred type of interview and she never disappoints when it comes to delivery the juicy scoop.  To connect with Heather McDonald click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) WOO FOR PLAY is the all natural and organic coconut love oil that is changing the way we have sex. With only 4 all natural ingredients WOO is the perfect personal lubricant to spice up your sex life.  All Him & Her Listeners will receive 20% off your entire order plus free shipping when when visiting www.wooforplay.com & using promo code HIMANDHER at checkout. This episode was brought to you by Grove Collaborative.   Grove Collaborative offers healthy alternatives to household supplies and we use it for all of our cleaning supplies. To try grove collaborative go to www.grove.co/skinny Listeners will receive 30 dollars in free supplies a special gift and a 60 day VIP membership.  This episode is brought to you by RITUAL Forget everything you thought you knew about vitamins. Ritual is the brand that’s reinventing the experience with 9 essential nutrients women lack the most. If you’re ready to invest in your health, do what I did and go to www.ritual.com/skinny  Your future self will thank you for taking Ritual: Consider it your ‘Lifelong-Health-401k’. Why put anything but clean ingredients (backed by real science) in your body?

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or colorants, which we love. 95% of women do not get the vitamins and minerals they need on a daily basis, which is nuts. So Ritual created a smarter vitamin with nine essential ingredients women lack most. Go to ritual.com slash skinny to get yours today. Choose clean ingredients backed by science and sign up now at ritual.com slash skinny. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride.

Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential. Him and her. Ha ha. You know, I want it to be what the show is. It's Juicy Scoop. So it's whatever I'm into, you know, which can be the fun stuff, but then also the deeper stuff, which I love getting into. And I love being in the position of like,

being of a certain age and a point in my career where I like I don't give a fuck. Like I, I'm not scared that I just told you that story. Good, pick it up. Whatever. Like, but for years, I was terrified. Happy Tuesday. Happy Tuesday. That clip was from our guest of the show today, a fellow podcaster and comedian, Heather McDonald. On this episode, we dive into dating advice, online dating, family dynamics, professional comedy, reality TV, and a tangent about Kris Jenner and Chelsea Handler. For those of you who are new, I'm Lauren Everett's Bostick. I'm giving you Bostick today, babe. And I am the creator of the Skinny Confidential, which is a cheeky resource for beauty, wellness, and business. And I'm Michael Bostic. I am a serial entrepreneur and brand builder, most recently the CEO of Dear

Media, which is a new kind of podcast network marrying the digital world to the audio space. Welcome back, everybody. And here we go with another live episode. Your hair is interesting tonight. What's wrong with it? It's just like really peacocked up. Well, I got a haircut. You also went to the gym at nine o'clock at night, so maybe that's what's going on.

I had to get, well, I'm training again, so I have to get after it. Tell us about what that entails. Just means I'm working out, Lauren, okay? Why is there a pink yoga... Why are you busting my balls about it? I just want to know, why is there a pink yoga mat? Why are you busting my balls about it? I just want to know. Why is there a pink yoga mat on the floor?

I'm doing sit-ups so I don't get a fat gut and have it hanging out of my pants when I'm hitting that woo with you. You are looking good. You're the only girl I know that would complain that her husband's working out. I'm not complaining. I just want to... Listen. You want me to just let it all hang loose?

You can have that option, right? I've been with you a long time. That has happened before. So I feel like you go through phases. Yesterday, you were swimming in the pool. You're being active lately. You know what? Screw it. You can have that option, right? I've been with you a long time. That has happened before. So I feel like you go through phases. Yesterday, you were swimming in the pool. You're being active lately. You know what?

Screw it. I'm going to let it all hang loose. Let it go. You called it. You want to make it? You called down the thunder. Now you got it. He is looking pretty good, you guys.

His muscles are nice and defined. He's flexing right now. All right. We see it. So today we're interviewing Heather McDonald. She is one of my favorites. She's fab, you guys. She's hysterical.

I'm actually in her Juicy Scoop Obsessed group. And sometimes, this is a confession, late at night when I can't sleep, I go into the group and I just read all the different threads. And there's all these threads about reality television, Real Housewives, Vanderpump Rules. It's kind of amazing. The group is pretty hysterical. Yeah, this interview has been a long time coming. We've kind of gone back and forth with Heather for a while. And so we've been, all of us have been trying to make this happen for a while. Lauren went on her show and now she came on our show. Heather and I chit-chat at one time about social media. So it was fun. I was on her show a couple

weeks ago. You guys have to listen. We discussed everything juicy, a lot of reality television. Okay. Before we get into Heather, I want to tell you guys a little random tidbit. Okay. Let's talk about what I use for the dishwasher. Like I said, this is random, but it's actually something I get asked a lot on DMS. So when I get asked something a lot, I try to put it in an Excel sheet and remember to talk about it on the podcast or blog about it. So I've been using a seventh generation dish packs for as long as I can remember. And of course, if you know me, you know, I do not buy them at the grocery store. Oh no, no, no. I like to streamline things. You know this,

which is why I get them for my favorite place to scoop up cleaning supplies, Grove Collaborative. All you have to do is go to grove.co and simply search seventh generation. Super easy. I like to pick up their bleach, dish packs, and laundry detergent. It's all in one swipe. Everything arrives straight to my door, which everyone loves. I mean, who wants to lug dishwasher products up their stairs? It's such a buzzkill. I prefer to take the market out of the situation and order online. And while you're at it, if you're looking to pick up some more products from Grove, I highly recommend adding some Mrs. Myers to your cart, okay? I started using Mrs. Myers products when I was living alone. And then when I moved in with Michael, I strategically moved all his Chemically products out of the way and moved in Mrs. Myers,. Okay. I especially love

their hand soap. You should know that they have pumpkin spice right now. That's right. Pumpkin spice. They have like this fall seasonal special that you guys have to check out. I bought three batches because I love Mrs. Meyers so much and I love fall and yeah, it's basic, but I love pumpkin spice. When I shop on Grove, I feel like I'm selecting the products that are good for me, my home, the planet, and very important too, my chihuahuas. No, I'm serious, you guys. You don't want nasty chemical-filled floor cleaner next to your dog's noses. That's just gross. For a limited amount of time, TSC listeners who sign up get an amazing $30 gift set, a free 60-day VIP membership, and a bonus gift just for you when you sign up and place an order of $20 or more. Check out Grove and our special offer at grove.co slash skinny.

That's grove.co not.com slash skinny. Heather McDonald is an in-demand multifaceted comedian headlining sold out shows across the country. I actually took my sister to see one and she loved it. In addition to standup television guest spots and working on the Chelsea lately show, Heather can be heard twice a week on her hit podcast, juicy scoop with Heather McDonald, breaking down pop culture, her own personal drama, and anything juicy people are talking about that week. Guests range from real housewives to celebrities to influencers. And she also wrote two books. And yes, of course, I read both.

They're a real hoot. My Inappropriate Life and You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again. Read them, guys. You will laugh out loud. So with that, let's welcome Heather McDonald to the TSC Him and Her Show. This is the Skinny Confidential Him and Her. I love that Ray is recording this this i feel like it brings it full circle it does ray ray's the best i asked ray i was like ray what let me get some of the

juicy scoop here give me some topics no wait hold on really quick i asked your group i hope that's okay of course yeah okay this is this is so far what they've said i just asked him recently the group is like they're so funny look at, look at how many, I just posted this. Look at this. Good. I'm glad. Sometimes I feel like they're not enough. They're not focused on me enough.

The group. Really? Yeah. That's why we do a question to make sure they listen to the podcast. Cause I'm like, I don't want it to just be another gossipy podcast and they don't even, I mean, gossipy Facebook group and they don't even know who I am. So I'm like, no, I'm doing it to get feedback of guests and start conversations and you know just ask a question like you'll say what was your favorite part of this episode no to get in there's

a question that you would not know if you did not listen to the show got it okay and if they go i don't know then we go well then my assistant will write back we got to listen to the podcast and then come back and try again that's smart those groups take on like they become a beast of their own if you're not i'd rather have half the amount than a bunch of people that don't really know why they're in this group they have like a very all of them have a very soft spot for you are we recording yeah oh yeah that's fine you can keep on that no i just feel like they're always so supportive of you whenever i go through there they're always want to get you behind gates yes should i start with one of their questions sure whatever you want we already started buddy oh okay does her hubby get upset about some things she shared with her listeners like how she was attracted to cf for a quick minute who's cf chris frangela no my husband

has never gotten upset that i've shared anything on the show there's things that I've say that he will nitpick that he says, like, I once referred to somebody's housekeeper or something. I said, you know, she was raised with servants or something. And he was like, Oh, I think you should take that word out. I think that's, you know, not the proper word. I'm like, Okay, so but maid is now like wrong to say maid. So I'm like okay so but maid is now like wrong to say maid so I'm like domestic help I don't know like I was like okay like I cannot nitpick about a word everybody knows I mix up words

and everything else and I'm not like scared of you know the few people that are going to say anything about me anymore like most you know that's most of the trolls have gone away how is it working with your husband? Because mine sometimes

interrupts me. It's awful. Here's the good part. Like I know no one, like I'm not going to get screwed over financially or anything like that. Like the trust is there.

I completely trust each other. We're in it to win it. Like there's no cheating. There's nothing ever. And there's no jealousy. There's nothing like that. Like the trust is there. I completely trust each other. We're in it to win it. Like there's no cheating. There's nothing ever, and there's no jealousy. There's nothing like that. But perfect example is yesterday. We were dealing with some dates. Now I love my agent who does the live shows.

We had a meeting with them and an offer came in and Peter sits down and he goes, okay, if you want to take this, you could take this flight to whatever. And I go, no, I don't want it. It's too much flying. Then the next day I was like, I called my agent. I go, well, how did this offer come about? I was just curious. And he goes, oh, it just came in. And I was like, oh, okay. I'm like, well, maybe I can do the flight. And I said, yes. So then he, Peter comes home and he's like, why would you call your agent when we already

discussed it? And I was like screaming, I can call my agent if I want to. I'm like, if I want to ask him a question, I can ask him a question. You know? How did it end? It ended with, it doesn't ever last long. Okay. So it usually ends with me taking my dinner outside.

Is it your Chinese chicken salad? I made, no, but I did make chicken last night. Okay. Some juicy breasts, okay? What do you mean? You leave the domicile and go and take your whole meal and just go sit outside?

Well, I just flipped the chicken. So I had about six minutes that I could go sit outside with my glass of wine and just stop the conversation. I want to stop the conversation. Lauren, a buttery Chardonnay. Lauren, when we get in fights,

why don't you ever take your dinner outside? Great tip. Then by the time I came back, he was great. He was like, look, I'm the one that cares about you not travel. We decided not for you not to travel more than twice a month. That's the rule. So I don't, when we decided to say no to this, I don't know why you said yes. I just don't understand what's changed your mind.

And I'm like, I don't feel like explaining what changed my mind let me eat my chicken yeah like let's move on so you're right how is traveling I'm not taking that gig that's I'm traveling a lot less I'm gonna be traveling less and um it's very hard because the minute I say I don't want to do it then I get an offer and I'm so flattered and I'm so of the mindset of like what if this offer never comes back again it's just some like cool theater and in Florida the majority of the people that listen to this show I'm sure know who you are but for those you're a comedian and so you're on the road a lot for comedy how is that on the marriage great because there's never am I missed we barely communicate when I'm gone those couples that say they talk 20 times.

No, we don't. No. It's like, if there's something like you missed an ad, you need to do it now. That's it. It's only,

it's only that. And sometimes it's like, Hey, the company messed up. You know, who will be nice. He's like, you have to redo it.

I know it's not your fault. Other times he'll be like, you said $25 off instead of 25% off. So you need to redo it. And then he'll, you know, he'll be like, I think that's, um, you know, I think that my assistant should have been following better. And I'm like, don't you talk about her? Like, I get really like defensive about my, whoever I have, like, I will keep, I'm just like, okay but okay so then she's like great she's really chill she's like okay I'll make sure I like double read it when you're reading it

um so it's usually those are the conversations and then like once in a while you know it's something nice like do you want you know do you want to go to dinner after you come out come home or something I took we did a little date night last night yeah here's the real question yes does he wake you up in the morning at seven o'clock in the morning asking you about something to do with work because that's my problem it's seven o'clock it's also like 10 30 at night question with the laptop open the other part is pulling up like competitive people and telling me how they're killing it like i don't i don't do that i'm about to go to bed and i don't do that i i can you know if it's my really good friend i'm like happy to hear that you know fortune sold a movie on deadline that's fine but other kind of

things i'm like yeah i know yeah i tell him and then he's like why does all be for 10 o'clock and don't raise it after eight. Don't what? Don't raise my cortisol. I don't want my- What's cortisol mean? Like my stress hormone. Oh. I can't do it before 10 o'clock.

Those stress hormones are running rampant. It's just to do list. I open my eyes. It just never, that's the thing. It never ends and the conversation never ends. And I feel bad because we have kids that like have to witness it. And I go, so when we were yelling about calling my agent, I walked into Brandon's room and he's 12 and I go so sorry about the yelling I'm like did you hear that yeah I go what do you think was about and he goes um ads and marketing like they like they just get used

to hearing it and I hate it so much because I think I told you this when you were on my show but my parents were like married realtors that got into it later in the marriage, kind of like we did. They didn't always work together. And my sister and I would like lay in our twin beds and be like, we will never work with our husbands. We'll never promise each other. And now my sister is an attorney, works with her husband. And I work with my husband.

Are you taking notes? But we're still married. And I don't know how. There's got to be like some secret there. The thing is, it's really great and you're successful. It's just really hard to turn it off. And so then when I said to him, I go, look, I know you care more about me than William Morris. I know that you don't want me to go on this thing.

And it's really not about money. He's like, blow off a gig. I'd rather you not. But he keeps saying, I don't want to hear you complain. I'm like, blow off a gig. Like, I'd rather you not, you know. But he keeps saying, like, I don't want to hear you complain. I'm like, I don't even call you from the road. I'm not complaining. I'm like, so if I come home from a show and I'm raped, like, do you mind if I call and tell you that? Like, as I've probably aged out of raping.

But I'm like, honestly, can I call you about that? Or is that going to be considered complaining? Because God forbid I, like, I disrupt the three days that I'm gone. Like, I went to a stand up show of yours. I brought my sister, my sister Faye is a huge fan of yours. And so am I. And we went to your stand up and you told this story about Aspen. And I tried to retell it to Michael and I just flubbed it. And I really want you to tell it on here because I was crying laughing. Before we get into that, let's talk about ritual. Vitamins are sort of like putting on sunscreen. The sooner you do it, the better it is for your long-term health. I mean, did you guys know that 90% of women aren't getting the nutrients they need every day? For example, 90% of women aren't getting enough D3,

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If you're ready to invest in your health, do what I did and go to ritual.com slash skinny. Consider it your lifelong health 401k. Go to ritual.com slash skinny. What's also great about ritual is it's super Instagrammy and looks very, very chic on your vanity. I think that there's a lot. It's a very long story. There's several ski stories involved that I've like merged and dropped one. I went to do a skiing gig. I mean, a stand up gig in Aspen.

But of course, that's the gig he'll go to because it's Aspen and he likes to ski he's not gonna go Jacksonville Florida for three days for five shows where we stay and I stay at like a gross hotel or Ramada Inn never was that like would you like me to join no but the Aspen one he can like squeeze into a sketch so like he so I'm like okay that'll be great it'll be fun enough you know and um so anyway we we finally get there and we have like this we actually have a great time he's a good skier I'm not he takes me down like you know beautiful like the little easy there's like a buttermilk hill that's like for the easiest skiers you know so like he's taking me out I go do you want to meet later

and you go to on ijax or whatever and he's like no let's just spend the day together you're like having so much fun and I was like oh my god like so into me like you're fucking kidding me like this guy is like hot for me even though he's like my husband okay like five weeks later four weeks later it's my kids spring break and we're going how old are your kids um they're 15 and 12 but at this time it was a couple years ago and so we're flying first of all so we have to pack all of our shit and i get to the um like you know we get there and one of the bags the ski bags with the helmets and stuff is too heavy it's 51 pounds whatever so now we're that family that's screaming at each other reweighing everything and i shoved all my underwear in my son's ski helmet to save space

so his ski helmet goes rolling out and he's like oh my god dad mom's cougar underwear in my ski hat i'm gonna get lice i'm like i don't have crabs motherfucker like this is all in front of like southwest and those people when the bag's overweight it's like the happiest like that's like their moment they're like the bag's overweight oh my god and so i'm like it's just uh yeah so then we get there and then my husband's like, where's Brandon's gloves? And he didn't, did you pack, you know, I can't believe you forgot to pack Brandon's gloves. I'm like, I mean, didn't we all pack the gloves? Like, how is it my fault?

So we start arguing and, you know, kicking, he starts kicking the suitcases around. He's all annoyed. He's like, come on, Drake. And he takes my older, more mature skiing son and better skiing son and leaves me with ADHD. Okay. No gloves. Like my younger son. It's just not as easy.

You know? Oh, great. So then we're like go through skiing and two runs. The kid is like, I think I'm done. I'd like my iPad. I'm like, hey, little fucker. This ticket was $132. Like, we're going to go down the same 60 more times.

Come back. And I'm just like drinking, you know, just sitting outside on the balcony and he comes around with a big glass of chardonnay and he's like hey and that is how our fights end in a nice dysfunctional no marriage counseling don't let's not talk about the fight again it's over let's just drink together and move on like alcoholics do and he and then i'm like and i brought up the fact i go i just you would not be acting like this if i was like a newer girlfriend like you know so i get into this whole thing of who his girlfriend would be you know and what how she would deal and this is this could be like blanket to any man or this is just like particular to i just figured like i just

like imagine like a 32 year old girl that's like thinks it's cool that she's dating a divorced dad and like, Oh my God, he's really good. He's a really great skier. And I'm like, and if she forgot the gloves, he'd be like, it's okay, babe, we'll get another pair at the ski place. But when it's your wife of like 17 years for getting the ski, the gloves, it's just like, I'm an idiot, you know? And so sometimes I tell Peter, I'm like, I just, sometimes I feel like we should split up and date other people just so the kids could see like a loving relationship because we like don't like be like romantic and so one time we were watching bachelor i go um i go what do you think dad would be like if he was over on the bachelor back in the day and he goes well probably great because he's really nice to new people like everybody

thinks he's amazing everybody loves him yeah everybody thinks he's amazing at the school and everything and he's like so he'd probably be nice to all these women you know and i go god i just i just imagine and now i have friends you know that are divorced and going through it and i just met them this weekend and it was like it could be like one of those movies like we went for one girl's husband second, who unfortunately died of like cancer really early. And then two of us are married for a long time. One of the girls has never been married and dating.

And the other two were divorced and dating. And, you know, they're like, stay married, stay married. It's awful out there. And it's so true. It's like everybody gets somebody like new. And I'm like, oh, my God, like this one girl's dating you would love this she's dating a um a doctor who can give her free botox and everything so i'm like this is amazing like a like that's my one fear if lauren finds that guy i could be i could be yeah exactly and so i'm like oh my god this is great but then she

starts to reveal now six months later the issues and you're like that's why i got divorced like all these guys that are out there and dating like over 40 and that are divorced all their wives are psycho like there's a reason why they got divorced now can they reform can they take those lessons and actually be the greatest second husband that there ever was possibly but like there is a side like did you watch real house is supposed to see on Monday? I haven't watched Mondays. Only last week. What was it?

Well, they had this moment where Kelly's kind of like. Kelly's like getting more like dick than anybody, right? Love it. Yeah. But then all of a sudden she's like, yeah, I got a lot of boyfriends. I'm rocking it out. And she's like, but it actually sucks. Like she comes and she kind of says, yeah, it's.

So the grass isn't always greener. Definitely not always greener definitely not always greener i mean it's like it's really good if you're married and you don't like your husband that much not nothing bad nothing obviously abusive cheating alcohol gambling all that no i'm just saying like he's irritating the shit out of you okay you need to go and hang out with some girls that are currently dating what tell us what's that what is exactly like it will make you like crawl into bed and like fuck your husband and like thank jesus it is get out there don't hang out with some daters so why it's just so hard it's like because they with these apps they have

the they they're these guys can date so many different people or they're a little weird or i mean i know guys that never got laid never had any girlfriends that are getting with more women now than it's almost unbelievable these guys they're like 25 to 30 but like these i'm talking about guys that like never were with women before and now it's just like it's a plethora and then and the other thing happens is that these girls they think like if they start to like want to find someone of real substance so they they go down on their meter of like cuteness and stuff and they think they're doing like christian service or whatever like i'm gonna i'm gonna be nice then i realize that eight other girls are doing that

same christian service and fucking that guy that is kind of ugly but owns a home so what is your advice for young people that are like in their 20s that are dating in this atmosphere i think i don't know what to tell you it's horrible i think we all miss the dating i think it'll be kind of interesting because i wonder if like the next turn like i was talking to this girl is 25 actually jill's aaron's daughter and we were talking about books and i go everyone wants me to write a book i go but books are like so there's so much work and i don't think the money's there and who's reading books and she i read both your books and I loved them. Thank you.

But she said that a lot of her friends now, it's like cool to be seen carrying a real book. A hundred. That's like the new thing. It's like the hat. So I'm like, are books going to come back? A hundred percent. And maybe like, maybe more personal matchmaking I think might come back. I told Mimi, my little sister, she's 21,'s 21 to go to san trope because she was going

already i said get a book maybe anna karenina i thought you were gonna say like go meet a like dubai prince and she could do that too yeah you bookmark anna karenina like bookmark the shit out of it like you've read it you highlight it you bring this book it's like kind of trashed up like hit it on the ground bring anna karenina right outside all all the beautiful boats out there and put your phone away put your glasses on and just read as you drink your cappuccino the guys will line up that's Lauren's theory a hundred percent I'd like to see that theory let's do it but here's the here's the other theory to a smart girl that's reading her book drinking her cappuccino now but here's what's

happening if he approaches her she could be really bitchy and be like, leave me alone. But then they're more obsessed. Listen, here's what's happening. These guys, yeah, they see the girl with the book. Oh, she's cute. And then they go on their phone. Well, at least get a book that you want to read. Like, you have to now pretend to read a book you're not excited to read.

Like, at least get a good book. Or read your book. Yeah, read your book. If the cover's cheesy and it's a girl laying on balls like mine take the cover off you know and and so you don't really see what it is okay so read a book that you actually like but take the cover off if there's balls yes and if it's like cheesy like what it looks like a fashion magazine dating apps have done for these guys is it's taken all of the intimidation and the um you know like having they don't have to try it out they just go on there and like oh this one's here's a bite right

this one's responding and so then you know because listen listen, as a man to go and approach a woman cold, sitting down reading a book or in a bar, like that takes some guts. But now they just have this, you know. Yeah. And like, remember, you know, I don't even know, you guys might be too young to this, but like if someone was going to ask us out in high school or I was going to ask a guy out because I'm an internal girl high school, I had to call the phone where a mom answers. Hello.

Oh, hello, Mrs. Jones. May I speak to Michael? Who's calling, please? Oh, it's Heather McDonald. Hold on. Hello? Hey, it's Heather McDonald. Who?

Remember we hung out at that party? I go to Louisville. Oh. Anyway, we have our homecoming dance. And I was wondering, oh, yeah, I'm hoping that somebody else is going to Louisville. Oh. Anyway, we have our homecoming dance. And I was wondering. Oh. Yeah, I'm hoping that somebody else is going to ask me. So I'm going to.

I have to say no. These are real conversations that happen in my life. Maybe that's why I can go and stand in front of 10,000 people and do stand up. Yeah. Because I'm like. But I mean, the heart beating, the sweating. And then I used to do the calls for my friends and act like them because they were dying. But the guys had to do that too.

Now, you never have to talk to the parent. You have their own phone number. And you don't have to talk to them. You just text them. So we're all fucked. Yeah. And a text rejection is a lot better than a verbal rejection. Yeah.

Yeah. And you can just never respond to the text. Yeah. And you can be strategic about how you text back. Yeah. Because you can have some time. I love to make someone wait. So I mean, I think every era has the dating rules.

And I do think that old school rules, like the rules from the 90s or whatever that book was, that was about these two women. They ended up both getting divorced. But at the time, they had great marriages. And they wrote this book about the rules. it was rules that they took from like their grandmother but it was like wait a couple days to return a call if they don't ask you by Wednesday for a Saturday night date you don't go but those rules don't apply anymore with texting

you can't wait two days someone will like call think you've been murdered I would wait two days if I had to go back and start dating again. With a text? Yeah. She used to do it to me all the time. But then people are going to know that's bullshit because they're going to know that you saw it. I really like how Erika Jayne got her husband member. I don't know if you... I know exactly how Erika... I'll tell you how I got

my husband. Well, I was working at a very sophisticated restaurant called Chasen's. I wore a velvet long dress. And Mr. Girardi would come in there every night. And I looked at him. And I went up to him. Hold on.

And I went up to him and I said, Mr. Girardi, did you hear I was single? And he said, no, I didn't. I go, well, now I am. The next day I got a call calling from Mr. Girardi's office. And he asked asked would he would like to see you for dinner and I said absolutely not tell Mr. Girardi he needs to call me on the phone himself and ask me and he did and that was the first and the last date we've been together for 18 years ever since that is actually the exact story she told on her podcast she's told

many times it worked sure whatever she hook line and sinker them she also went so then the next part of the story in the book is so we were dating for a while and then my lease was up so i took my toyota celica with my bags of clothes and he's because he said you can stay at my place so i drove up and he said where's your luggage i said this is it baby and i moved in and i never moved out it worked for her like in la i feel like there's so much concoction and and strategy and and when you're actually in the city of la where it's like agents and this and that and you see the people you know where we are right now like i'm sure if you go to lunch you you know you see people in suits like Like, where I live in the Valley,

it's rare that you'd see someone in a suit. Where in LA do you live? I live in the Woodland Hills, Calabasas area. I mean, you see a couple guys, but it's not a big, like, you know, here if you go to lunch, everyone has to wear the suits because they're agents and stuff.

So, like, the plane... How often do you see the Kardashians at the Health Nut, though? I've never seen the Kardashians at Health Nut. Oh! But they do i think that they go there but only when they're filming i love health nut so much is it true you have a brother that tried to fight kimbo slice yes it is true yes do you know who kimbo slices learned

we passed away but i heard this and i wanted to this is one of the stranger things i've heard and i wanted to ask you about it can you give me the yes I'm very open about my dysfunctional sibling situation. When I heard that, I was like, that can't be a true story. So I have a brother who's a little over 10 years older than I am. And

he's just been fucked up for a long time. And he's in prison. And he... Can you say why? Like going crazy and physically attacking some people. So he writes us letters and stuff. And part of one of the before he had his he went he went to jail like 10 years prior to that. And it was like after like a psychotic episode where he started to get obsessed with Kimbo

Slice and wanting to fight Kimbo Slice who's this like street fighter guy before the last psychotic episode would put him in the jail he started talking about Kimbo Slice again and my other brother called me and is like I think something's going on with him he's talking about fucking Kimbo Slice again like I was like Jesus and so and the guy my brother's old like he can't, and he's not physically fit and he's just obsessed thinking that he could fight him. And then in these letters

that he writes to me, which I share on Patreon, he talks about, you know, Kimbo Slice, I could have fought him and everything, you know,

and yeah. What was the end goal of fighting Kimbo Slice? It was just like to prove or it was like, he wanted to put it on YouTube. He wanted to charge a dollar. He wanted me to help him with that since I'm so big in the media and so powerful that I

could get a pay-per-view fight happening between my brother and Kimbo Slice. And then we didn't know what to do when we found out Kimbo Slice died. People are like, are you going to let your brother know? I'm like, let the news come to him. And then eventually he did find out that he died. And I guess he just has to accept that he never had that moment. people like are you gonna let your brother know i'm gonna i'm like let the news come to him and then eventually he did find out that he died and i guess you know he just has to accept that he never had that moment maybe he'll fight colin next maybe that'll be colin mcgregor oh lauren has no idea of the fight world so she's just like she's just throwing out the first name she knows

is he a big fighter he's an actor isn't he no he just fought he just fought i don't know i'm sure this audience is loving this conversation. I just had to get to the bottom of it. It's a very weird story. I fell in love with your podcast. Like where I was like, oh my God, I love this. It's Serial Sister. Yes.

So that's my other sister. So I have one normal sister who's great and we're very close. Who's an attorney. And, you know, we've been very close our whole lives, lived together post-college and stuff. And that's what who works with her husband as well then i have this other sister that is six years older than i am then the one that i'm close to is just two years older and yeah i just um your parents were getting busy right well they were catholic and that was the other thing after they had my sister who's

cat who i was gonna say i couldn't name katrina whatever people figured it out once they had her my mom went on the pill and some friend of hers got like a blood clot so she went off the pill and then had two more kids and then so we were mistakes which is another thing my brother likes to bring up all the time that not only did i cost my parents the usc tuition because i went to usc he's obsessed with how much usc cost and so he's therefore thinks i owe him part because more of the inheritance because my parents are gone because had i not gone to usc there would have been more money for him and the other siblings that never went to college and it's very weird so uh yeah and so anyway my sister just was really awful to me

Like the last you know So I Started to tell the story because I was like I just want to tell the story And I'm just going to share it and every day That the new episode Could come out I'd wake up like Oh my god people are going to say

I'm horrible for sharing these stories And nobody ever did. And it was like really freeing for people that have, you know, bad sibling, adult sibling relationships. And I think it's one thing that just has never been discussed. Like you turn on Dr. Phil or whatever, and it's about my horrible mother or my kid won't get out of the house or whatever it's, but what about the person that has like the adult you know sibling relationship that's really dysfunctional really awful and you finally are like married and raising your own kids and you realize how fucked up it is and maybe your parents perpetuated it because it's like

a common theme is the catholic theme um that people have written me that they're like i came from a similar home where it's you know forgive and forget and family and let's not discuss it and all that stuff so um once my parents were gone i'm like i'm fucking telling the story how did your sister react well i already had a restraining order against her and i'd blocked her from stuff but prior to that like you know she would just say the most horrible things like i remember um when i before i told the story and i hadn't blocked her officially, I just posted a photo of Peter and I and she writes this long thing. He's a pedophile.

He molested my daughter since she was nine. Even though I had another restraining order on her back then. So there was no way, even if you wanted to believe that, there was no way that that could have happened. What does this all stem from though? What does the anger towards you stem from? Just weird weird jealousy and then once i cut her off from my life it's like i think that that made her angry at herself because i do think that she enjoyed me

we had at one time we had like a fun friendship she was really naturally my family was all really naturally funny and everything i'm the only one that bothered to make it happen into a career so I think she was is sort of jealous of that you know like I was a fucking funny one like she'd like say these things like that and I was like okay but like you know you never took an acting class you were like I mean yeah you might have been yeah maybe you are funnier than me but like you didn't do anything with it you know I want to go back and know how you got into comedy in the first place so I got into comedy the first place was just um I kind of when I was at SC I wasn't pursuing drama or acting or anything because I just thought I wanted to be like a businesswoman and um have money and I was so jaded by the

business growing up here but then once I once I got started, had like a regular job, and it was so awful. I kind of had this epiphany of like, like this, this side of me, like the Christian Catholic side of me that was like, I have these gifts that I know not everybody has, which is being funny, doing impersonations. And by me not pursuing it, i think it's kind of like an f you to god and so i was like i think i should try to do this and so then i i took a learning addicts class that my friend like threw down and insisted that i do shout out to maya dryer she always wants credit it's so like we're still friends she gave me the learning addicts um thing and i went and i went to this class and i it was like the first time i

got that like oh as long as i set up the joke and the story properly you don't have to personally know me because i didn't understand how like the stuff i that everyone thought was funny was always personal it was a sorority story it was about the night out it was our high school math teacher so once i kind of understood that which is why I say I do think writing classes and comedy classes and stand up classes, when people say you can't be taught comedy, you should be naturally funny. But definitely there's like a rhythm and a math structure. Yeah, there's definitely a way that you can get better like anything else. Like if you've never made someone laugh, I don't think you should pursue stand up. But like if people constantly tell you you're funny, those type of classes

are very helpful. I feel like stand-up comedy has to be, and this is my opinion, maybe I'll get flack for this, but it has to be the hardest form of entertainment in my opinion.

It totally is because you're the writer, the producer, you have no one else to depend on but yourself, which is one of the things I do like about it because no one can tell me no

or what to do. Which is one of the reasons why I really about it because no one can tell me no or what to do. Which is one of the reasons why I really love the podcast. But I mean with podcasting you can edit, you can kind of get in a rhythm, you have a lot of time. Stand-up comedy,

you're standing in front of X amount of people. You're probably bombing a lot. What I always would find interesting is if they could do a documentary on a comedian showing the process when they're growing and bombing

until they get to the point where you get in a rhythm and you know you find the jokes and people start laughing because the only way for you to test your material right is in front of an audience or am i wrong yeah i mean um yeah but i mean the better you get and you like i know more so i know what works what i the way that i would always test it was like i would be telling someone a story and they'd be laughing they'd'd be like, is this in your act? Or, you know, now with the podcast, I kind of know like sometimes I can like come across a story and I'll tighten it up and put it in the stand up. But now it's like the stress never ends.

Like now I have the stress of am I going to be able to sell as well and even better this year than I did last year? Are the people going to come back? You know, what are the numbers? now I have to deal with the numbers before I never got paid and I just hoped that people would laugh now you know now I have to make sure you remember your first gigs do you remember like what like did you just kill it in the beginning or did you it was after like a class I took a whole course and it was like a little recital and it was after like a class, I took a whole course. And it was like a little recital. And it was at the Santa Monica Improv that no longer exists. And I did my jokes, and it went really well. That's the other thing I tell people to, you know, if you're going to do it, try to have a first positive experience, you know, like sex, like, try to make it positive, because you may not want to

do it again. Like, try to make a positive positive, like have your routine down, practice it, invite friends. And you know, it may not be as great as that first time after that. But at least if you have like, you know, if it's not a disaster, the first time then you might want to keep doing or you might want to just do it that once and check it off your bucket list. I don't know, you know how people feel about it. And I feel like you can also use your secret face or your I call it a secret Facebook group but your Facebook group as almost like a focus group as well I guess I mean I don't you know I like to try to keep some things fresh that they can't that they hasn't been on the podcast it wasn't on my special it wasn't you know this is special to the live shows that aren't being taped and you know and stuff like that so I try to keep like certain things so you obviously have a

very thick skin at this point like for the podcast and doing stand-up like what are things that get you like what are things that like piss you off or just like oh that got me that's like a bummer that someone said that like well i mean i've gotten over the fact that um like hollywood doesn't seem to realize how fantastic I am. Yeah, but I think that's pushed you to do your own podcast, which is incredible. So, I mean, I have high aspirations for what is coming in the future. And I'm working the secret and I'm being positive. And I love that I have that ability. But at a certain point, yeah, I get kind of bummed that my friends are on TV shows and I'm not.

I would love to see you on Real Housewives. Everyone says that. Really? Yeah, please can we get you on Real Housewives? But at this point, would you want to do it? Because you have your show. Honestly, I don't know that I would anymore. Yeah, because you have all your stuff now.

Because I think I kind of had an epiphany when I was in the Hamptons with Jill Zarin. Oh, yeah. Tell us about the Hamptons. I was talking to Juliet from London. I think that they seek out couples, women who are about to get divorced or where they could expose flaws in the marriage that will cause a divorce. And at this point, I don't want to be divorced.

There's times I might've wanted it more. I don't now. I really don't. I want to like go the distance. Give us the juice on the hamptons was it fun it was really fun but i mean when you look at like who they picked for the oc one girl's already filed for divorce and the other one talks about breaking up with her husband in every single episode so even if she said other great things they're going to show that part

she's going to fight with her husband at night and they probably aren't going to last and so because they realize that people sitting at home love to watch the demise of a marriage. And then the one, you know, or they make, or if the guy is supportive of his wife, like a Dorit and PK, they tear him down and say how gross he is. She's right.

That is true. So it's like, that's a hard thing then to keep your spouse happy. Who wants to watch somebody on TV just like, hey, everything's going smooth and great. Like you're like, whatever. So it's like, if they choose choose you you should be a little suspicious like actually denise richards it's perfect for her what are they gonna criticize her pig that she raises eating is raising no she's a single mom with three kids she can't talk about charlie sheen at all she her dad's still nice that. Like for her, she has nothing to lose. Are you excited for her on this season?

I'm not not excited. I was very disturbed how similar. I always said that Teddy looked like Denise Richards. So when they actually chose Denise Richards, I don't know. I hope Teddy's coming back. But they do look a lot alike. So not that that matters, but I think it's kind of funny. Who's your favorite housewife on all the franchises

out of all of them? Out of all of them, I'm honestly probably closest to Jill Zarin and Tamara. But I like Kelly Dodd. I like Shannon Bedore. I really like Teddy. I hung out with her the other night. I really enjoyed it. All these women have been on my shows too. So I think

Kyle's like really smart. I think Kyle has it it all so i hope nothing happens to her well something did they robbed her okay they robbed her house but that's the worst thing that's happened like the marriage is still intact the girls are all successful the daughters i i i empathize with her horrible sister relationship i get that pretty hair she's pretty hair i get that the two sisters are mad and jealous that she, again, they could have sold a show

about their mother too. Okay? She's the one that met the company that told the stories that got the thing made. So, now they,

I don't know if they're talking anymore or what, but she made that very clear that that was a problem that when she came up with American Woman, which is a story based on her life,

they got mad. And she has to constantly say, say it's you know and whatever she says it's interpretive or it's based on it's not it's not a true story you know it's just to say all that but i remember when i was i sold tv show um and i and they said it's because it's your life rights you got to get your siblings and your parents and everybody to sign off on it so everybody did but my weird siblings okay and they were like the brother and your sister yes and they were like we we have our own store i just paid them a couple hundred dollars to sign it and they did and then of course like it got sold to cbs and then never saw the light of day but the point is like i so I I appreciate Kyle's

life I think like she's the smartest and she's and she's become the most she's maintained the most unscathed unscathed with the fans yeah she has done a really good job and she you want her to keep coming back season after season I want to know how you met Kris Jenner because you go way back with Kris Jenner so Kris Jenner I met because I was friends with Jillian Barbary Reynolds. Love her. And Jillian was doing Ice Skating with the Stars. And so was Bruce Jenner, who was Bruce at the time. Okay?

I know the rules, but I'm going to just say, Caitlyn, whatever. Okay, Caitlyn. I think if you're dealing with a time period, it's okay to say Bruce. Caitlin, whatever. Okay, Caitlin. I think if you're dealing with a time period, it's okay to say Bruce. You know, they said no. No? They said they're taking that. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I'm going to for sure get eaten up. I have no idea what the rules are. They say no, you're not supposed to. It's Caitlin. So anyway, Caitlin was ice skating in a military suit. But okay, hold on. What happens to all that history then?

Like when you say Bruce Jenner set the records. I don't know what they're doing. You can't say that. I think they're like changing streets and stuff. Caitlyn Jenner at the time had short hair and was wearing a suit from Officer and a Gentleman. That was the dance that she, the skate that she was doing with her female partner. And so we went and there were all the girls eating candy with Chris and we all met. And then Chris was going to have a viewing party. And how long ago is this?

This is before the show. I was pregnant with my son, who's now 12. So this is like 13 years ago. And so she goes, oh, come to my house at Calabasas. We're going to have a screening party. And now I had the baby. And I went. And that was the first time I saw anyone get catered food,

but then put it in different platters. And I was like was like wow I used to call it pulling a Kris Jenner and I think a lot of people do it but at the time like I just came from like wouldn't you just keep it in the tin that it came in but no like so it really looked nice and she always had like a helper there even though they were like not rolling in it she always lived like she had money, you know? And that night, the two little girls, Kendall and Kylie, were like, we've got a show upstairs. And we go upstairs and they have a pool table there. And Kylie is standing on the pool table and she's wearing a belly dancer outfit doing Shakira, Shakira. And it was like, pretty good, but also like very sexual. Like, and so, I mean, it's kind of interesting because she was like the most outgoing really, you know, but also, like, very sexual, like, and so, I mean, it's kind of interesting,

because she was, like, the most outgoing, really, you know, and then, and seemed like she wanted the limelight more than anybody else, like, she was the one that was, like, no, a bunch of people are coming over, they're gonna see me do Shakira, and so they were, like, oh my god, and then I just remember Caitlin, at the time, picking her up and saying, okay, this is enough of this, this is too much, whatever, and then I remember sitting there, and I'm sitting saying, okay, this is enough of this. This is too much, whatever. And then I remember sitting there and I'm sitting there with Chloe and looking at some photo and I go, who are these fat kids? And she goes, that's us. And it was her. They were all really fat. I go, what? Because she wasn't, you know, and she's like, oh, I guess my mom just like after the divorce, like let us eat as much candy and stuff as we wanted so because it was like time and then you know they all so then after that we just remained friends i would go to the baby store

we'd have events we'd see each other and then the summer of 2007 i had a party at my house they all came i just started chelsea lately and that's when she, Chris told me, we got a reality show. It's going to start at the end of the summer. I go, what network? She goes, E. And I'm like, oh my God, that's amazing. And then like the first week of Chelsea Lately, nobody knew who Chelsea was. So the EP was having a really hard time getting guests.

And she's like, can you get anybody? I'm like, well, do you want, you know, do you want Bruce Jenner? You know? And they're like, yes. So I'm like, okay, do you want, you know, do you want Bruce Jenner? You know? And they're like, yes. So I'm like, okay, let me call Chris. And I'm like, Chris, can you like promote the show early? And because I'm like, we don't care. We need someone.

So they came on and then they would come on all the time. And didn't they were kind of like a joke on the show, right? Like, like, well, when the show when the show first started, it was always like, I mean, on Chelsea, they were kind of like, like, they would use the Kardashians to like laugh. Yeah, like, I mean, in the beginning, it was like fun. Then she turned on them and like hated them for like four years. And then in the end, she kind of like would have Khloe come around. And is Kris the same as she was when you first met her to this day?

Always a hustler. I mean, always a hustler. Always like fun when it's a girl's night, you know, or having a dinner. She's always like really great. Always a great entertainer. Always like, you know, gifts and things and done nicely. But yeah, I mean, there's a different level. And they have different, they're exposed to different people.

When you're on Tommy Hilfiger's yacht, I'm not comfortable inviting you to my house for a barbecue i'm not you know and and that's so am i the one that's like possibly pulling back from the relationship a little bit because someone gets so escalated yes but like when my mother died and i invited her to the thing at my house she was there like you know so but yeah i'll go to like yeah i feel that way and she would maybe she would still come to stuff like i'm not saying she wouldn't and she was on your podcast yeah i know i think when people though become so elevated and the other part is she's 62 years old with nine grandchildren so you know does she you know yeah is it more fun to hang out with jennifer lawrence than me again i would take it i fun to hang out with Jennifer Lawrence than me again?

I would go have dinner with Jennifer Lawrence over Heather McDonald. I would. I would go hang out with Cardi B. I would. You've already hung out with me. You don't even take pictures of me anymore when we're together. I can't even, like, get an ad mention, you know, a tag. So it's like, whatever.

Okay, so tell us about the tumbler, or the glass cup. So it's kind of interesting because I just married, I just officiated my first wedding. Congratulations. So Chris Frangiolla, who is my friend that I'm on Chelsea lately, who is always on Juicy Scoop and does

live shows with me and is a hilarious stand-up, he got married and that was a big coup because we never talked about him being serious with anybody. So the Juicy Scoopers went crazy. And I married them, which was really fun. You got ordained and everything? Yes, online it takes like one second.

But I wrote the whole ceremony because they were not religious, so I had to come up with stuff. And then one of the things was like, you have several choices of what to say with the ring. And some of them are like, with this ring, I'm ready to rock this journey. Like some of it's really cash. And I'm like, okay, I won't involve Jesus, but I am going to like mention faithfulness because like you guys need to commit to being faithful. So they were like great. And so every a bunch of people from Chelsea lately were there and it was really great. And it was weird how the

universe like works or whatever like what you put out there like two days later I opened this cabinet and this cup that has been there for years I just all of a sudden I noticed that so it was what it was is we had this like kind of this background that was like all these different purple and pink squares. And for one year, the assistant would go around and give you the thing. And you pick a square. And you would write whoever it is. Like, let's say. At Chelsea Lately.

Yes. Like, let's say the editor, it's his birthday. So you'd write something that reminds you of the editor. You know, oh, funny. Or taking your time. Or whatever you want to say. And then your name. You were writing on the show. Yes, want to say. And then your name.

You were writing on the show. Yes, as a writer and I appear on the show. So then, and then you'd get the cup and you'd have like, you know, we'd have like a little like cake or whatever that day. And so I pulled out the cup and I never had noticed, but on the one white square, which was reserved for Chelsea, she wrote pig, C-H. And everybody else wrote like Kardashians, Drew Barrymore, hair, dance, the Wayans Brothers, like things that were related to me,

USC or mom or whatever. And what I thought was amazing, and I posted it on my private page, is I was like, wow, I remember getting this cup. I don't remember being hurt by that. I don't remember being affected by it because I was so deep into the constant straight up bullying that happened there daily and being made fun of and all that stuff.

And it became like a riff of the show, which would be majorly unacceptable today. Like it's amazing how many things on our show and that being one of, which was the comedy. If that happened now, somebody would be in a lot of trouble. The comedy was her being mean to people,

but that was also the reality too. But it just, yeah. So I'm like, oh, you know, isn't that interesting? I didn't, and then I probably got like a nice gift that the assistant picked out and then I had to be like,

oh my God, thank you so much for the necklace. Never like, hey, like never would I go. This is what you really think of me or why would you write that? Now I'm going to keep this cup and I'm going to always have to see that. Like, why would you do? But it's just like, you know, you look back and you just you know, anybody that's been in any kind of relationship, whether it's a friendship or a boss or a husband or a parent or what you're like oh okay I mean now you have this incredible

podcast with millions of downloads and this incredibly engaged audience where where do you think the next sort of step for you is I mean I would love Juicy Scoop to be some type of tv show whether it's streaming or not because I do so so many impressions and I come up with like sketch ideas. So I would like to be like that, but with a little more comedy, but also have the interviews, have the hot topics, but be broad. And then also when there's something really juicy that I address that too. And it doesn't always have to be funny. You know, I want it to be what the show is. It's juicy scoop. So it's whatever I, whatever I'm into, you know, which is, which is can be the fun stuff, but then also the deeper stuff, which I love getting into. And I

love being in the position of like, being of a certain age and a point in my career where I like, I don't give a fuck. Like, I, I'm not scared that I just told you that story good pick it up whatever like but for years I was terrified you're able to unapologetically you know what I think it's shift to do too now especially now you have this podcast you can reach millions of people like you have a microphone where if somebody writes something you can address it immediately get it out to millions of people where like you know traditionally before if someone writes something you have no response right right? Like, and if people don't pick up the response, you're screwed. But for you or us or anybody that has a podcast,

now you can just like, yeah, they said that. And this is my take on it. Like too bad. Selfishly as a listener of your show, I'm glad that Hollywood didn't pick you up because now you have this platform that you can say whatever you want to say. And to me, I would way rather listen to your podcast than watch some, you know, show that has 20 producers puppeteering it. Yeah, I mean, I, I was very happy when I was there. I thought I was very happy when I was there. I was like, wow, like, like, I thought I was happy in my 30s when I was just home with the kids. Oh, my God, I'm I can't believe I'm on TV and I get to do stand up and blah, blah. But I mean, I am the happiest now. I'm I can't believe I'm on tv and I get to do stand-up and blah blah but I mean I am the happiest now I mean it's like I keep I'm like and I think the next five years will even

be better because just being able to just being able to do what you want you know and not and not worry about like oh my god I I said that that means I'm gonna be blackballed now I'm just like it's so freeing it's so freeing to have said so much like I probably have been I know I've been blackballed from stuff I know I have because I've like investigated it so I'm like okay what stuff like like like certain tv shows and stuff that I would have been great just because you said something or yeah or just you know what people don't realize it's just one person that like doesn't like you you know and or that't realize it's just one person that, like, doesn't like you. Yeah. You know? Or that happened, and they're just like, no, we're not going to have her.

And, I mean, a perfect example is when Chloe had her cocktail, Chloe's Cocktails with Chloe. When that show came, I was like, oh, my God, I'm so happy for you. I'd love to be on it. Now, every time Chloe came on Chelsea Lately, I was always next to her. I would help her when she, because she co-hosted like twice so anytime she was on i was on with her if she did the round table and she requested that and i would help her write the stuff and you know that was great we were you know friendly and um so when the show came about i was like i would love to be on it absolutely and i had a production deal with the production that was doing it

pilgrim and i was it was with ross matthews and we're there and he's like oh and ross goes oh and i'm doing chloe's cocktails with chloe then i go oh yeah i'm like i'm supposed to be doing that my people are pitching me i don't know what's going on and um this is after like the you know chelsea and i were in the news for not getting along because I'd shared what my experience was on that podcast. And he goes, oh, well, of course we want you on that show. Picks up the phone to call whoever. And he's like, okay, I know you booked Ross. I'm here with Heather McDonald.

Uh-huh. Okay. Great, great. Yeah, they're going to get you on never get on okay and now they're like really scraping the barrel for guests and watching who they're having and is that show still going on no so i finally one day i see polly shore is on now i probably sure was on my show i like him but i don't i would think i would make it on the show before Pauly Shore. We're personal friends. Like, I'm a girl.

Like, I don't know. I just, you know, and I was like, what's going on? Chelsea's booked for a future episode. And they're not going to have you on before that. Because they're afraid that'll piss her off. And then she, even though she may have never said anything, she probably wouldn't have cared but that's how these things work and I was like okay and who knows who knows

if Chloe knew or if she if I was even on her radar like I'm sure if they would have said Heather's gonna be on the show she would have been great but I don't think she was like where's Heather McDonald I mean I just think it was like whatever and I'm not we didn't have like a texting relationship where I was like Chloe when am I to be on i just assumed i would be on and so then i was like okay and then shortly after that i think chloe actually or mutual they pulled the plug on it and um and i and actually i don't think she ever did the episode why do you think some of those spinoff shows don't work right because like obviously they have massive audiences all of the kardashians collectively jenner's collectively yeah but some of those spinoff shows they don't

take off is just like what do you think the reason behind that is i mean you know i think what it is is that you know these people that have these huge followings it doesn't necessarily you know 82 million might watch you know watch you on instagram but that doesn't make them run to the tv and turn it on it's just like a different medium and i i think that the hollywood's starting to realize that because so many things like literally people i know that are actresses would sign in and they'd be like and what's your instagram and what's your twitter and they're like what about my emmy like really well because they were so convinced like a couple years ago that like, that's what's going to get people to watch their CW show. And I think it's a really important thing

for an actor not to ignore, you have to engage with social media, and you have to get your following up. But then there's certain actors that are like, I'm a real actor, and I don't want to expose my whole life on social media. So does that mean like, I'm never going to get a part? It's just very weird. And I think they're starting to realize that like, they don't necessarily cross over. I've noticed it too, when I've had people that are supposedly big YouTube stars, and then they come on my podcast and I'm like, get ready for this one. And it's like, nobody cares. My audience doesn't know who they are. And then they don't even promote it or they promote it and their people don't go. Oh, my God.

Hannah Hart's on Heather Randall's podcast. I've got to listen to that podcast. I've got to subscribe. Like, I didn't notice anything. You also said that a lot of the guests will promise that they're going to Instagram or promote it and then they don't. Yes. So that really pissed me off.

I thought it was hilarious when I went on your show and then like your audience was reaching out like all right Lauren where's the well I had my Instagram ready for 2 p.m yes and so or because I said I'm Instagram right so it was ready for 2 p.m and like literally the second the episode went live your audience was like where is it where is it and I'm like wait until 2 p.m that's my highest engagement yeah yeah but I mean no and of course as long as it's done like sometime that day but now I really do like ask and stuff and but I also I also know that like the audience is going to listen every episode pretty much anyway yeah you have a very core audience yeah and then like yes of course some go a little higher if they're like

juicier or the people are more popular but But for the most part, like, you know, every show is pretty entertaining. So why do you think and how how did you curate this amazing community? Because you really do have like it's insane. You have like a tribe. I think. I think because I'm really authentic and I think because I'm not a hypocrite and I think because I I don't give a shit I think that helps and you know I like to call out hypocrites there's so many and but you know I also don't want to like diss other people but it's very it's I think it's like I think people are like recognizing that more well I think people know that even if they may disagree or

dislike something you say, they know it's not bullshit. And it's like actually what you want to say and how you feel. I think that's what's cool about podcasting with TV. I know you like TV, but I always talk to people that have built, you know, massive audiences you have. It's like, do you really even need the TV anymore? Because you kind of already have what I think that TV would do for you.

You know, like I'm working with this production company and I hope to, you know, make it a show because I think the Christian thing to do is to let more people know about me. But I did say I won't stop the podcast. I will not stop the podcast because the podcast can go on forever. And a TV is so fickle. If I don't have

the viewers, it's going to be canceled. And I don't want it to ever seem like if I try this and it doesn't work that it's at all a failure because it's not you know but it's worth trying so we'll see what happens well tv's measuring off different metrics like you can have a massive podcast and be massively successful but if tv like maybe there's a couple million people listening but if it's not enough to meet their advertising metrics then it's like oh we gotta cancel i mean regardless of how big it doesn't mean anything yeah it doesn't mean that you're you know unsuccessful or you know're unsuccessful or that it wasn't great.

I mean, what I do love is that my friend did Insatiable Pilot for CW, and then they didn't pick it up. And then Netflix picked it up. And I do love in this day and age that there is that option, too. So in doing something like that, would hope that you know maybe it could keep running itself or whatever it could be streaming i don't know but yeah it's just nice not to have to be like at the mercy of someone that's you know does a focus group or oh i've had people tell me that too i did a pilot and um they said that the focus group didn't like me. Yeah, but that's the whole problem

is they're looking at the wrong focus group because there's millions of people over here. Right, and who's doing a focus group? You know what's interesting, though? You know, someone, like my aunts have jobs that are educated and that's not the person that's doing a focus group for $15, you know?

We have younger sisters and I always ask them like, what's going on with the youth? You know, because they're 21, 22. I'm like, what are you guys up to? They told us about Snapchat. They told us on all these new things and they say they don't even own cable boxes. They told us on all these new things.

And they say they don't even own cable boxes. They just do everything streaming on the phone or on the computer. And so I think that's going to age up. Those people are not going to get... I mean, if you have access to Netflix and all these streaming services and an abundance of TV shows, they're like, why pay $200 a month for cable or whatever it is? Right. Which is great. And I like that they're thrifty.

For me, I will never give up my tv like i love my tv i like to i like the remote i have a tv in my backyard so when i skate peter with my dinner i go and listen i've like in the like the covered patio i like to watch tv i mean i just like for me i love it you know i also will like watch it on my ipad when i'm on a plane something but you know i like being able to scroll. I just like the pattern of it. But I get it when you weren't raised with it, why you don't care. But we watch regular TV with our kids.

We still watch it. I like watching it together. Out of all the guests that you've had on Juicy Scoop, every single one, who was the juiciest interview that you just like loved? It was a home run. The audience loved it. I don't know if the audience loved it, but I love the one that I just did today that'll be out tomorrow I don't know when this is going to be out Nicole Eggert yeah okay I like getting her because she's told her story on other mediums about her experience um on Charles in Charge with Scott Baio but when you have the time that we had

there was a lot more that came out and I and I'm curious to see what the audience feels because some people were not excited that she was coming on and uh so I I kind of like you know that it stirs up something um god my favorite that I've ever you did yeah Kyle I really liked because she really you know and she was so down to earth and like came just like casual with her perfect face and her like long silky like horse hair and you know and stayed for like two hours so she's a nice lady yeah so i really i really like that one i mean you know anytime i have a comedian on like one of my friends i love it um i like chris jenner's interview i liked um i think everyone should listen to serial sister

though you that was like right that and you can go back and listen to that or you can join Patreon and there's like a place where you can go find it and listen amazing and it'll be all put together before you go I want to know this is kind of a different question your top three beauty tips oh well let's see

maybe your eyelash trick maybe your audience has heard that so I don't know maybe something different I just did your eyelash trick. Maybe your audience has heard that. So I don't know. Maybe something different. Maybe this audience has heard that. I just did an eyelash video on my Instagram at Heather McDonald of how I do the individual triples and lay them after I do my mascara. So that's a good one.

Let's see. I really love a few things that I love. Okay. I'm a woman of a certain age, so I like a glowy face. I can have a lot of moisture. I love, for bronzer, Chanel makes this tub that you use with a brush. It won't give you a powdery look. It'll give you a creamy, glowy look.

Love it. It's not super expensive um so i love the chanel i love chanel and the under eye concealer of chanel i love that in a little tube that's like 35 or something but it's really good and last long um i love jergen self tanner i don't get spray tanned i only use jergen self tanner yeah look at my hand and you know what i just did recently i went to the full-on korean spa the best the best which one do you go to the one in downtown la i go in san diego at aqua i just experienced it in irvine which is which one is irvine it's called i spa like irvine spa they like hit you and beat you and i don't they don't they don't beat you as much but it is weird

like you get on this like autopsy table and it is just like bush out like and they're scrubbing your body but you will never exfoliate your body like a korean woman can when you're paying her michael's mom goes to them once a week i don't need to envision my mom i table one just opened in northridge and i'm in woodland hills i think i'll start doing it maybe not once a week but I definitely think like twice like twice a month instead of going outside to watch tv and eat your pulled chicken you should just go to the green spa well this is what I also thought of doing if I really hit it big and I'm ever like building a new bathroom do a bathroom that's big enough to put the gurney table in there that's perfect then you don't have to go and see everyone else's bush it and it's your own instead of a cup holder do a salad holder yeah like i had a friend who's really yes i had a friend who's really wealthy and she built a whole spa

thing with like spa rooms and stuff and i'm like no what she should have done is just did like one big shower like a couple shower but that's big enough that you can bring the table in there and the the woman can scrub you. I feel like she would like Peter and John. No, I just go there like once a week. It's just a massage. It's not like a big. Right.

No, I know. It's like the crappiest like little place. It's a hole in the wall. We have all those everywhere. It's the best. Yeah. But these guys know what they're doing. Don't talk to you.

Like you can go on your phone and get your work done. Have you ever gone to those places to get your massage and then you get somebody and they're only using one hand no you have to tell peter and john doesn't do that you know what i can i have a hard time going to like nice hotel spas because i feel like that's it's too much of a routine yeah and it's i do this one side let me put the don't don't pet me with the leaf you know and like they have like they're like wiping your like i just i want to get i want to get like in there and get it done get Get it in there. You can do your emails while you get a foot rub. It's amazing. Yeah.

No one talks to you. It's dark. You don't know who you're next to. You don't know whose blanket you're on. Pillow might have lice, crabs, whatever. It's like, you know, you don't care. Don't sell this place short. I can't believe you wouldn't let me tell everyone about Peter and John.

Is Peter and John's an actual place or those the two guys that you like? Those the two guys. But listen, I share everything, but that's like the one thing I'm like, I can't turn around and see somebody. Like that's my place. You can't fuck that place up. I love it.

I just did. Thank you for coming on. Pimp yourself out. Tell us where to find you, your Instagram handle, everything. So everything is at heathermcdonald.net and you can get the podcast there. I do a little behind the scenes about each

podcast that I just started doing so you can see what I really thought of the guest or whatever. All my dates are there. I'm going to be in Tempe in September 7th and 8th at the Tempe Improv. I'm going to be in Dallas and Houston in September. So everything is there at heathermcdonald.net and then

it's at heathermcdonald onnet. And then it's at heathermcdonald on Instagram. I really, I think I give great Instagram. It's funny. It's funny. It's not all curated and beautiful. I'm not looking down at my toes while my husband takes a photo. It's just like me, like doing stuff. And then Twitter is at heathermcdonald.

And I thought we were going to work on something on Instagram. You never called me back. You broke my heart. Well, we can talk. We're here back. You broke my heart. Well, we can talk. We're here now. Broke my heart. Yeah. So, and Twitter

is at Heather McDonald. And Facebook is Heather McDonald Comedy. And my books, you can still get on audio and regular. It's You'll Never Blue Ball in this Town Again.

It's really good dating stories about my life in Hollywood in the 90s and then my inappropriate life. So they're both really fun. I love my books, you guys. Yeah. So if you want to find a guy in Saint-Tros, and then My Inappropriate Life. So they're both really fun. I love her books, you guys. Yeah, so if you want to find a guy in Saint-Tropez,

get my book, act like you're reading it. God forbid you really read it. Book market, doggy ride. Guys will just be coming at you. Try it, you guys. It'll work. Thanks for coming on. Thank you.

Wait, guys, don't go just yet. Did you know that we have a new podcast site, tscpodcast.com. It has everything in one place. It's all organized. You can get some awesome resources, all the guests recommendations, a lot of book recommendations too. And all our sponsors are in one spot. Okay. So you can check it out, Go to tscpodcast.com. Let us know what you think and make sure you're following along on Instagram. It's at tscpodcast. Thank you guys so much for listening.

We will see you next Tuesday. And remember, there was two episodes last week. So there was a Tuesday and Thursday episode last week. This episode was brought to you by Grove Collaborative. Grove Collaborative offers healthy alternatives to household supplies, and we use it for all of our cleaning supplies. To try Grove Collaborative, go to grove.co.skinny. Again, that's grove.co, not.com, slash skinny for $30 in free supplies, a special gift, and a two-month VIP membership. This episode was also brought to you by Ritual. Ritual is the brand that's reinventing the

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