The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - #15: The Break up Episode! When Relationships go south, working together, keeping your goals in line, how to know if you are with the right person. #Askhimandher Episode 15

Episode Date: June 15, 2016

Don't worry! we are still together but on this show we talk break ups! Jordan Bosstick and Taylor O'Connor are back on the show. We talk about working together while in a relationship and the discussion continues on break ups and how to handle them. To move on or not?  To learn more about The Skinny Confidential visit the site HERE To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE

did you position those cups in your gym selfie i tried to go for a little all natural i feel like you wore that color though because it was like the right color for the selfie put a filter i wore no no that is that has a filter okay yeah let's go with nashville next time and just like that we're back with the skinny confidential him and her podcast. Lucky for you, it's going to be a fun, sassy episode because this is called the breakup episode. That's right. My grandma is sick. She's not feeling well. She was going to be here, but she'll be here next time instead.

So this episode, we're going to talk all about breakups. But first, we just want to remind you guys how important it is to subscribe rate and review us we are bringing you free content so we would really appreciate the five stars we have the bare naked cucumber taylor back he is getting through the show struggling after a rough breakup which we will get into um jordan's back on the show she has has been MIA the last few times. Well, actually, we were traveling. I still exist, people. I'm still alive.

She's still around. We were traveling, and then she was traveling, and then last week her dog was having a meltdown, so we... You do what you can. Yeah, so we... This time she has a bone and a safe place to hang out. And luckily, I'm very, very high energy right now because I just got back from the gym.

That is unluckily Michael Bostic. Me and Weston just went in there i crushed his legs weston and i weston and i he's in the other room um probably writing an essay about how his legs don't work okay so the bare naked cucumber is in the corner in his hoodie with earphones on looking like uh little unibombery um and so the whole kind of episode is going to be based around breakups because Taylor just kind of had one. Well, and we've got actually, we've got a lot of questions. Jordan got a few, a lot of, a lot of breakup questions. I love it. Um, so yeah, so make sure you're rating and reviewing and subscribing, um, submit your questions with the hashtag askEmAndHer.

No, and I just want to say something, too, about, like, last week. So these podcasts usually go live on either late Monday night, Tuesday morning, or Tuesday night. But you will only see them if you're subscribed. If you're not subscribed, you're at the mercy of when iTunes updates their cache. Which is dreadful. Which is dreadful, which is dreadful. It took them like five days last week to update it. So, and if you're subscribed, you still have to click that refresh button. Cause I've done that before. You have to click refresh.

So it pops up on your phone. It'll pop up, like scroll down on your phone. It'll pop up as downloaded, but on the computer you have to, you have to make sure you have the latest version of iTunes and refresh your feed to make sure you're on your shows. So anyways, I just wanted to mention that. Let's get into the weekend. It was a big grandma weekend this weekend. You loved it. Yeah, I liked grandma weekend.

I did some puzzles. He literally did puzzles. He was sitting over the table hunched over like Quasimodo doing puzzles with a little light and like a magnifying glass. That's funny as a lot of people don't know I'm quarter Japanese. So I was Snapchatting this weekend and I Snapchatted my little, how tall is grandma Jordan? She's like four foot 10. I think she, the thing about us Asians is we get,

we get shorter as the ages go on. Like I think she's legally a midget. Like the definition of a midget is under, like, a certain... I don't know if that's the right word. I don't know if that's the right word. Ooh, let's change the subject. So, about her noodles. So, let me just tell you about these noodles.

These noodles are legendary. They are Japanese noodles with a little bit of soy sauce, with bacon chopped up very finely, and cabbage. A little bit of soy sauce with bacon chopped up very finely and cabbage. A little bit of cabbage. What else? Onion. They are so good. For Thanksgiving, everyone will bring all their meals. They're there with their pudding and their cornbread and their turkey.

And Grandma brings noodles. And no one cares about anything but the noodles. Everyone fights over the noodles. Lauren and I literally fight over them. One time I stacked my plate so high. We're like stashing them in our purse to bring home for later. We're like, oh, the noodles are gone. Darn.

When I was drunk and I was young, I was like 21, I would go to their house and I would put noodles in a Ziploc and like put it in my purse. Do you know my favorite thing about our grandma? Because this doesn't apply to – I have another sister, Tara. And this doesn't apply to, I have another sister, Tara, and this doesn't apply to Jordan and Tara because, um, they're, they're women. And my grandma's very traditional Japanese. So like in her eyes, I can do no wrong. I can, I can literally do the worst, the worst thing imaginable. And my grandma will blame somebody else and say that it's okay that

I did it. And I just think it's so funny because I went over there and I just know how she is. So basically you're marrying the complete opposite of your grandma. Well, I just know how she is. Yeah, I am marrying the opposite of my grandma. But it's funny. She spilled and Lauren's like, Michael, get in there and help your grandma. And my grandma's like, listen, if I go in there and help my grandma, she's going to lose it.

She does not want me to help at all. She wanted you to do your puzzles. She wanted me to sit there, do the puzzle, eat some noodles. I'm going to buy you a puzzle. It was a great way to shut you up in the corner. She does have a good name though. Michiko. Michiko. Yeah, it's hot. Michiko Lulu.

Lulo. Lulo. That's the Italian side. So then, so we went to Michiko's and then after Michiko's we headed over to Fidel's, which is this really good Mexican restaurant in Solana Beach. The chips and salsa are epic.

I can't stop eating them once I start. It's like crack. Yeah. And we had some skinny margaritas after we micromanaged the bartender and got frisky. Michael ended up with a cup of coffee and cheesecake though. No, me and your grandma. No, no, no, no, no, no. I had some flan and a cup of coffee. Your grandma what a bore your grandma had some taylor joined us taylor joined

us he was down he lives down the street so he popped in and had a couple drinks there and um yeah it was a big time grandma weekend yeah it was fun and then we went the next day we stopped by my parents house and went by the pool jordan and n Nico came by we had some beers they were calling me boring because I guess like if you don't drink a beer every 30 some five seconds with these people you're boring no you had a sip every 35 minutes so I would classify that as slightly boring no I'm I just was relaxing I was reading you were relaxing you were my dad told me I look like a piece of parchment paper because I'm so white so I'm trying to get my no no no my tan up no you need to wear sunscreen and you need oil and you could use a good um you know nose mask i wonder what the debate is on this like should i should i get a good tan and look good now you're

dead or should i go sunscreen around no one's looking at you like later because who really look good for who i feel like i won't care what i look like. Yourself in the mirror? Yeah. Just stay white. So anyway, we're on episode 15 now. We've gone, this is kind of intense that we've gone 15 of these. I didn't think we'd get this far. Everybody at this table was here from the beginning. Unfortunately. We've learned a lot. The pioneers.

The struggle was real. Have we learned a lot? Kind of. I feel like I've taught. The pioneers. The struggle was real. Yeah. Have we learned a lot? Kind of. I feel like I've taught you a lot. I don't know if you've taught me a lot. I feel like I have. I feel like Taylor and I should like high five each other for making it through the storm. What did we learn?

We've learned not to interrupt each other or try not to interrupt each other. That still happens occasionally. We've learned that you should not work out and then do the podcast because your testosterone is off the charts. That's because I work my legs. Anybody out there, I've already talked about this. You've got to work your legs, guys. Get your testosterone boosted. I don't know about that.

We learned how to listen, sort of. Did you learn how to listen? I don't want to say we've learned. We're learning. Lauren has removed the word like from her vocabulary not really though you know what i say like i say literally i say obsessed these are just words i use like i i can't change as long as you're not as long as you're not machine gun firing okay i'm sorry i'm not i'm not just going to be like a perfect newscaster i'm i say like i don't know what to

say like and um i say um i say literally i i don't know you know what can i do i think we both just have a really hard time letting each other finish but we're getting we're getting better right i think yeah i think everyone's improving and just a side note you really need to brush your eyebrows up your eyebrows are so down right now you look like a tadpole mine are too i forgot my eye brush today. Do you have an extra? I have 10. But I listened, you know, um, I was listening to Tim Ferriss's podcast when we first started, like around like episode seven, I was listening to it and it was interesting. He, I can't remember which episode it is. So sorry, uh, Tim Ferriss, if you're listening, you're probably not. Um, Tim Ferriss is tuning in. Yeah, he should be. should be but he said basically

what he was saying is you need to get to episode 6 to like kind of get your rhythm and get comfortable and I feel like it was around episode 7 I don't remember exactly which episode it was

but I remember finishing episode 7 with you and being like oh we're kind of like getting in a rhythm and we're kind of figuring this out and like

it feels a lot more natural it feels like a conversation and we got used to doing these things. And I think it's been an interesting process. So I think if you're out there and you're thinking about doing a podcast, understand maybe it's not going to be the best from in the beginning. You also hate the sound of your own voice.

Yeah, no. Not you, but anyone. I feel like anyone hates the sound. Do you remember the Home Alone recorder? Yeah, that was called a talk girl. I had one. It was a talk boy for for the guys yeah which is bullshit like no it wasn't the pink one was so chic okay but so anyways i remember i

had one of those when i was a kid and i would talk into it and then i'd play it back and i was like god that's how i sound i sound like an idiot i know and that's no like you sound like an idiot yeah um first joke okay so i remember listening to that and saying like oh I hate this on my voice and that's how it was with this too how do and then yeah that's how it is to podcast you kind of get used to it um okay so there's that let's get into the breakup episode I feel like there's so much to talk about um about breakups you know, it's something everyone goes through. So let's do the first question. Okay. Question one is what is it like working with your spouse? Is it hard on the relationship? It's a breakup. No, this isn't directly to do with breakups, but I'm working

with your spouse is interesting. But even though it's interesting, it's rewarding. I would say it's definitely one of the most rewarding things I've done, but that doesn't mean that you don't go through bumps. I would say the first thing that comes to mind is this is definitely not for everyone. I had a long conversation with me and Jordan's dad, our dad, Gary, about this. And it's not for everyone. It's not, not every couple can work together. I think that you have to have a really, really strong mutual respect sometimes, which we'll get into in a minute about some of our fights that

these guys have witnessed. It's not, it doesn't always seem that way. But the one thing that I would say about working with your spouse is that you guys are both working towards a common goal. You're working in the same household. You're working for the same thing, hopefully. And if you're not, then you definitely shouldn't be working together. But, yeah, I mean, it's not easy. I'd say that's like constantly having to work at it. But then again, no partnership's easy. I love working with Michael because I think that Michael and I have so many layers of our relationship that this really completes a big part of both of us.

And I think if we didn't work together, our relationship wouldn't be as interesting to both of us. It was kind of a natural progression for us, right? Because we would constantly talk to each other. I mean, I feel like we've worked together the whole time, but we weren't directly working together every day. Yeah, like it wasn't official. Like I didn't officially come on to the Skinny Confidential. You didn't officially come on to anything I was doing. It was just we would constantly talk about it at dinners or in the car.

I would say consulting. Yeah, it was consulting with her and, you know, giving her advice. But what is it like day-to-day working with your spouse? Well, he stares at your calendar so he knows exactly what you're doing. So if you want to go for a quick brow appointment or facial, forget about it because he'll call you out. The worst is when I say I have so much to do today. One of the best is I have Danny over there in the chair and Danny works with me. And now he works with Lauren too.

And I have him also breathing down your neck. So I put a barrier between us so that I don't have to be the bad guy. I've never seen anything more annoying. Imagine you guys waking up to text messages every morning of, you need to do this, you need to do that. Where are you? Why are you doing this? Sometimes I'm actually going to a brow appointment for a blog post.

And even before this show, me and Jordan were talking, I'm like, where's Lauren? It's time to podcast. And I had Jordan snooping in on your Snapchat to see where your movements were. We've got tons of tools. We've got, I've got prob've got probes out now. Do you guys know how annoying this is? I can't even live. Let me live. Yeah. So I get micromanaged on a daily basis. When I wake up, I like to burn my oils. I like to make my detox drink. I like to play boss Nova. I'm very specific about how I wake up and I get 45 text messages from everyone.

What am I doing? Where am I going? Why am I doing this at this time? It's kind of annoying. Yeah, but if that didn't happen, we wouldn't get anything done because there's a reason that these, I would call them safeguards at this point are in place. So yeah, working with your spouse is sometimes annoying. It can be hard on the relationship because you don't know when to separate. Sometimes you go home, you're trying to have dinner by candlelight,

and Michael's asking me about a profit and loss statement. And yeah, that's kind of annoying. I'm not going to lie. Yeah, it comes with the territory. I mean, I think it could be one of the more, like I said, it's one of the more rewarding things, but you have to work at it. It's difficult. I would say the most important thing if you're going to be working with your significant

other or actually any partner is defining the role so I try to set things up with Lauren where we kind of stay out of each other's way I'm not involved in her creative process I'm not there don't get in the way of my creative process I'm not involved in the photo shoot I'm not involved in any of the video production yesterday he had to be in my photo shoot for two minutes the photo shoot was a total of eight hours by the way he had to be in my photo shoot for two minutes. The photo shoot was a total of eight hours, by the way. He had to be in it for two minutes and he had a full-blown meltdown. He was asking me how to pose, which stance he should do.

I was like, just stand there and do a grin. It's not that hard. Do the grin. I'm like, listen guys, I've been grinning here like an asshole for five minutes straight. It was two minutes. My cheeks hurt today. Oh, poor you.

I was doing it for eight hours. So to go deeper in that, define the roles. Like, you know, I'm more on the management side, more on the legal side, the financial side. Lauren's more on the creative side, the content side, the partnership side. And so we try to define rules. So if you're going to work with your spouse, just know there's pros and cons. I believe, though, at the end of the day, it's worth it. And it's a deeper partnership than you that you would have.

So last week, you know, speaking of working together, we we we've implemented a new thing on our relationship where we're doing these alternating date nights, which I'm excited because Lauren is supposed to set it up this week. I set it up last week where we are surprising each other somewhat, somewhat, and setting up nights where we have a date night where we can disconnect from work or try to disconnect from work. And so last week we went to this Italian place here in San Diego that we like. Piotti's. It's called Piotti's. It has crack sauce. The crack sauce is so good.

Well, that's actually not how it happened. I planned Piatti's. Lauren heard we were going to Piatti's and then she said this place across the street called Barbarella. We went across the street to Barbarella. The ambiance was off, you guys. It wasn't... No, I need the five feels. There was no...

It was slow. It was boring. It was too retirement homie. Piatti's is a little bit retirement homy, but this place literally, I think there was corpses in the restaurant. Yeah, there was corpses. I think there was a guy dead at the table across the bus. We like Barbarella.

It was just a bad time to go. I like it for brunch. I like it for brunch. So if you're in San Diego, go to Barbarella for brunch. But Piotti's, so I convinced Michael to walk over to Piotti's so I could get my crack sauce. No, no, no, no, no. You're jumping way ahead of the story. have a huge huge pet peeve so we get there and lauren's too scared to tell

the waitress like hey look this is not a good vibe for us we're leaving i'm like hey let's just actually that's not what happened i wanted a skinny margarita there and then i wanted to walk over to peyote's okay well if you'll let me get my story out i was saying that we got there and the waitress says like oh here's the order and lauren's like we can't stay here this is terrible say okay listen don't order anything we'll just we'll just tell her so i ordered a skinny margarita no but then you felt bad and you had to order a salad so we had to have half the meal in barbarella and then leave okay first of all it's hard you don't because you don't want them to feel bad you guys can relate to this i I wanted a little avocado salad.

Thanks for the salad. I was having an amuse-bouche. Like, I don't know what to say. We're going to have amuse-bouche and a little margarita and then walk over to Piotti's. Yeah, so we went over to Piotti's. I was just like, look, it's time to go. He was huffing and puffing like a five-year-old that just got his toy taken away, marching across to Piotti's.

But then you were glad when we got there because we had pasta and the ambiance was on and the music was on and you had crack sauce yeah no but i just what i'm saying is like i had that plan from the beginning so from now on when i set up the date night i'm just gonna stick to my guns and i'm not gonna get up in the ambiance it's gotta be on in the salad yeah i know but we should have just left Can't wait to take you to this week's date night. That's my suggestion. Can't wait. It's going to be a big surprise.

Oh, it's not going to be too hard to top the leave in the middle of salad date. Mine's going to be way better. So, yeah, do a date night if you are working with your spouse. Make sure to do one at least once a week, don't talk about business as hard as that is. We didn't talk about business. No, but actually our date night got interrupted in a good way. We ran into two of our friends out there, Mauricio and Gillian, and they were at the same restaurant and they joined us.

And part of the reason that we wanted to do the date night is we're like, listen, we're becoming like hermits here. We need to get out and be a little bit more social so it's nice to see them we started drinking um Mauricio is a French guy and he drinks like the craziest amaretto drinks which I was I was actually feeling that night and um they have a they have a son at home so we started talking about babies which was I think giving both of us anxiety because they were like the clock I was loving it We were talking about breastfeeding in front of Michael and how there's all these tricks you can do when you breastfeed

and Michael looked like he saw a ghost. So that was fun to freak him out. I wasn't freaked out. I'm just like, you know. I wish you could carry the baby. It was kind of uncomfortable because they were talking about like – Would you carry the baby if you could? Pumping and dumping.

Does anybody know what that is michael would you talk can we talk about pumping and dumping sure you can tell us what it means apparently pumping and dumping for the men out there i just learned about this is when your breasts get like when you drink you've drinking the night before you've drank the night before alcohol alcohol and you can't feed the newborn baby a bunch of booze because it'll be shit-faced and that's not good for a little baby so what you got to do is you got to pump the like it still needs to drink the milk but you got to like pump part of it out and you got to get rid of the the breast milk with alcohol in it is there a way for michael to breastfeed that's the question does anyone have any tips for that i would love for you

to breastfeed and pump and dump there's nothing i would love to see more well that's not gonna happen so anyways yep that was date night yeah so do a date night if you're working with your spouse. So unless you can top leaving in the middle of a shitty salad and pumping and dumping, I don't know how you're going to beat me. Okay, let's get into the breakup questions because I can't wait to talk to the bare naked cucumber about these. He's drinking his coffee. He's gearing up some caffeine because he's having a meltdown that he's about to get grilled. Michelle Odisio asks, my boyfriend of five years just dumped me. The guy I thought I was going to marry.

What advice do you have for recovering from a breakup and getting back into dating? Good question. I had a boyfriend of six years and we broke up. And I don't know if I thought it was the guy I was going to marry, but, um, my advice for recovering is to get moving. You, the worst thing you can do is sit in your house and twiddle your thumbs and watch Netflix and cry and drink wine. You got to get out there. And as annoying as that is, it has to happen. However, that doesn't mean that there can't be a good week where you do sit in your house and do nothing.

But after the week's over, you've got to get moving. Yeah, you get a solid week to mourn, and then it's time to get back out there. This is interesting, and it's really interesting timing that these questions came in, because Taylor here, the bare-naked cucumber, as he's known here, is going through a breakup, and it's like really interesting timing that these questions came in because um taylor here the bare naked cucumber as he's known here um is going through a breakup or has gone through a breakup he has now been broken right up with how you doing tay well i guess it could be still up

in the air maybe or maybe not i don't know it's still it's still to be determined but it's pretty much no no so um she what are the five stages of grief like denial he's in stage one still to be determined, but it's pretty much in the process. No. So these are one of the five stages of grief, like denial. He's in stage one. Dani over there is looking, everyone's looking a little nervous about what I'm going to say. So Taylor was in a relationship for a very long time. We all like the girl, yada, yada, yada. And she recently, she broke up with him and she took off.

And unfortunately, it's not one of these breakups where he um communicate with her very easily because she took off back to Sweden so I've been trying to walk him through this process and bring him out of this and say listen you know maybe there's a chance on the line but she's 9,000 miles away right now so we gotta we gotta make some moves in the meantime Michael's a little bit harsh sometimes breakups are really tough. I've gone through two super tough breakups. I, again, would say move. Get outside. Go hang out with friends. Go to happy hour.

Take a walk. Do a yoga class. Yeah, breakups are hard. But then also remember, you get to seriously define who you are again. Be super independent. And then meet a bunch of people. Meeting new people is always fun. Yeah, and I never want to be with anyone that doesn't want to be with me.

I actually told Taylor that this is going to be one of the better things that's happened to him because I think it's going to force him to get outside of himself and outside of that relationship because if that wasn't meant to be, you're hanging on to something that's holding you back. And again, why do you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with there's you're hanging on to something that's holding you back you know and again why do you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you period taylor you want to be with a girl that's so excited to be with you well i mean it's it's not so much those variables it's variables of distance and everything that are affecting it so it's a little different than the standard

breakup but still i mean there is that you know there's you know 90 000 miles of ocean between us but wasn't she here before she left? Yeah. So that's why, I mean, that's why it's the to be determined kind of more or less. My point though, is that she left and to sit around here and like wait on that is, is a waste of your time. It's a waste of your energy. You got to get froggy.

Yeah. It's time to get out there and get froggy a little bit. If she wanted to stay here, she would have stayed here. And I just, and like, this all comes, when I say this stuff, it sounds harsh, but this all comes from a place that, of love, I love Taylor, is one of my best friends. And I want to see him get out there. I want to see you get out there again and do what I know you can do without. Yeah, so if there's any fun girls out there that want to go out and have a few drinks

with Taylor. And check out the bare naked cucumber and then report back but I noticed you know he's he's you're hitting the gym real hard I am I try five days a week two hours I'm trying to transform my body I knew the breakup was serious when I saw the gym selfie and um I saw you getting back the hashtags once he uses hashtags it's game over if the hashtags come up on Taylor's Instagram, you know there's something going on. But can I just say something to everyone that's listening out there? And I feel like you guys are going to agree with me. If someone wants to be with you, they will do everything in their power to be with you, whether you're a man or a woman.

So I've always found with men, especially, a hundred percent know what they want there's no gray area so if they want to be with you they will figure it out and if you're feeling that someone doesn't want to be with you the next them they're out next bye later yeah that's literally like just what it is that's the truth it's the harsh reality you don't ever want to have to convince someone to be with you like ever just ever. Just, you are who you are. If they don't like it, then they can fuck off. So I want to know, like, what your feeling is towards all this now. Because you've heard my point.

We had a very private conversation, and I said, listen. It's not so private anymore. It's on the podcast now. It's time to get out there. I think this will be better for you in the long run. Listen, there's six point something billion people on the planet. Let's assume that half of those are women, if not more. So there's options, right? Yeah, of course. I mean, of course there's a lot of options, but still being in it is difficult. It's one of those

scenarios where I think it's easy to give advice, but you know, when you're inside of the actual moment, it's hard to take the same advice that you would, you would then be giving to someone at roles return. But does it make the advice any less would then be giving to someone if roles returned. But does it make the advice any less true? No, it doesn't. I'm just saying that in fact when the roles are reversed it's one of those things where, yeah, I hear it and I would probably give that same advice to someone who was in my position. But still there's always variables in any relationship regardless if it's five years, four years, or six months

that make the advice people give a little black and white when sometimes it's a little more colored. That's just the way I feel. I asked Taylor yesterday, I said, listen, if the roles were reversed and I was in your position, what advice would you give me if you care about me? And then I said, okay, take that advice. And the same when you're talking with your friends or whatever.

Think about the person you care about the most, and if they were in your situation going through the same breakup, maybe give them that advice and try to do your best to take that. I would say you need to go out and have fun and meet people. 100%. I mean, that's the next thing. You went to an art show this weekend. Yeah, the San Diego Festival of Arts.

And you might go to L.A. this weekend. Are we going to L.A.? I guess we're going to LA this weekend. Are we going to LA? We are. I guess we're going to LA. No, but that's another thing I was going to say. Getting out and being around people and meeting new people and getting with new people is 100% the cure. In the past, there's been times where I thought I was upset about a breakup, and then you realize you're not as soon as you meet that next person. And girls are always coming up to you anyway, Taylor.

It's about the fight, when to give up, when to give in, and I guess when to realize that there's no battle to be won, regardless if you could look at it. This is very poetic. Sorry. Yeah, I guess it's true. Wow. So recover from a breakup, get moving, get out out there and you will get over it interested in

something else yep read i'm bringing up the yo-yo getting back into my yo-yo game the yo-yo wait what's the what's the yo-yo walking the dog wait no no no no no i don't know what walking the dog i think he literally means a yo-yo like a standard yo-yo and we just ruined any chance of girls calling in to meet taylor wait you're bringing out the yo-yo the bare naked yo-yo. Like a standard yo-yo. And we just ruined any chance of girls calling in to meet Taylor. Wait, you're bringing out the yo-yo? The bare naked yo-yo? Girls, he is retracting fast. He does not yo-yo. There is no yo-yo. It's just a joke.

Ooh. What is there? What is your hobby? Uh, vinyl. Oh, yeah. No, let's not get into that. Taylor's got his life savings tied up in vinyl. But it's not, let me tell you guys. Actually, I want to get into this.lor's got his life savings tied up in vinyl but it's not let me tell you guys this is actually i want to get into this i feel like you just completely like ruined taylor's chances of meeting a girl complete sidetrack this is on a live broadcast it's a complete sidetrack

um taylor's got a vinyl collection but it's not like the beatles in london or the rolling like these like these vinyls where like they have a lot of value and people are like oh wow it's a collectible this is like we're murdering you in our sleep heavy metal songs like vinyl with like the wildest like artwork you can see and he's got thousands of them but anyway that's a different story if you want to see more check out his Instagram because he Instagrams them every single day and uses multiple hashtags. If there's a girl out there that wants to headbang to heavy metal vinyl and do some yo-yoing, call in or email us. I'm going to say no one is crickets. I'm just kidding.

He's got a lot of other qualities outside of yo-yoing. I don't yo-yo. That's just a joke. He might yo-yo. Okay, next question. Okay, the next question is, how do you know when a relationship is over? I've been with my boyfriend for three years and he wants to get engaged, but I'm not close to ready. I am independent with a ton of goals.

We are best friends, but I don't know if that's enough. Being best friends isn't enough. I have a lot of guys that are best friends. That doesn't mean that I want to go home and spoon them and have sex with them. I mean, let's get real. Being best friends is not enough. It's definitely an element. Being best friends is an element.

You have to laugh. You have to have fun. But it's not enough. And I think that if you are asking how do you know if a relationship's over, it's over. I mean, that thought for me has never come to my mind, you know, questioning if a relationship's over, it's over. I mean, that thought for me has never come to my mind, you know, questioning if a relationship's over with Michael because I've always known that I'm willing to get through whatever I need to get through to kind of get to the other side.

I think that if someone's asking this question, your relationship is over. And I think the worst thing you can do, and I cannot say this to enough people in their 20s, is stay in a relationship that you know is not working. Go live your life. You know, what's interesting though, because like part of this question is, um, the guy wants to get engaged and she doesn't know if she's like basically engaged just means like you have an intention of getting married. Like

there's nothing wrong with getting engaged and having a long engagement and seeing like if that is actually going to pan out. Um, I don't, I don't see why it's so important to get engaged and having a long engagement and seeing like if that is actually going to pan out. I don't, I don't see why it's so important to get engaged and then married right away. Like you can take that engagement period. Listen, it lets people know, Hey, we're off the market and we're serious, but you, you guys have some time to sort it out between each other where you can figure out if you're going to take that step to get married. Like you can always get engaged and then not get married. We've had the longest engagement ever, not because we're going to take that step to get married. You can always get engaged and then not get married. We've had the longest engagement ever, not because we're trying to stay engaged forever, but just because both of us cannot seem to send a save a date or plan a wedding.

I still haven't sent the save the date. I know. Our friends are like, so are you guys ever doing that? Are we invited or not? No one thinks they're invited because I haven't sent them. Lauren literally told me the other day she was going to take me off the Skinny Confidential just to do wedding planning. Yeah, because I can't do it.

I don't know what's wrong with me I can't pull the trigger I think I'm such a perfectionist that I don't even know where to start yeah people probably think it's like my lack of doing things but it's Lauren just does not send the save the dates and we've taken four different photo shoots of the save the dates my work schedule is so insane I do not see how I can have time to plan a wedding like I just don't see it. So Taylor, was there a point when you maybe felt like the relationship was going down or getting stale? No, to be honest, I kind of got hit blindsided by it. It's definitely one of those things as far as time where it's not so much about the distance of time or the time length, but the quality of time. And I felt like overall the relationship was great.

Or not great, I mean it was amazing. But it's just those variables. So time doesn't really play a factor in anything. It's more or less. Okay, but here's my problem with what you just said. You said you felt like you got blindsided. If Michael came up to me and blindsided me with ending our relationship, after I gone-girled him, I would never talk to him again.

I don't want to be with someone that's going to blindside me or has the potential or the capability to blindside me. I don't want to be with someone like that. If someone's just going to come out of nowhere when you think you're having an amazing relationship and say, bye, I'm off. Fuck you. That that's not cool. Yeah, of course. And I think with any relationship, there's, there's always good and bad. And I, Michael's always referred to you guys as a team. And I think that that's the way most people should look at as a relationship. And I always felt like I was, you know, part of the team and there's always,

you know, the ups and the downs, but you know, part of the team, and there's always, you know, the ups and the downs. But, you know, once it's down, if someone jumps off, then I guess, you know, you guys aren't a team. But still, you know, the team mentality of a relationship is definitely important. Well, if it's important, then your teammates should not blindside you. Right? Yeah. I mean, that's definitely... Look at me giving Dr. Laura advice to the bare-naked cucumber

on the Skinny Confidential podcast. I mean, part of this question was like, how do you know when the relationship is over? And I think Lauren nailed it on the head. If you're asking yourself that, maybe it is over. I don't think it's maybe over. I think it's over. Yeah, I mean, relationships require a lot of work. And if you get yourself to the point where you're like, I think this might be over, the worst thing you can do is stay in a relationship

just to stay in a relationship. No, the worst thing you can do, please, women, listen to me. If I can give one, if anyone gets anything out of this entire podcast, and I've said it before, the worst thing you can do is settle. It's the worst thing.

Because you feel like you're supposed to be doing something because of society or your parents or whatever. You need to do you. Everyone's different. There's no timeline. Don't settle for someone that's or whatever you need to do you everyone's different there's no timeline don't settle for someone that's not who you want to be with because you think that you should get married and have kids right yeah i wouldn't settle but i mean but also also ask yourself if you're working hard like if you're just like not doing anything in the relationship like yeah your relationship's probably gonna suck and it might be like an unhappy situation so if you're just like not

having fun or you're not like you guys you guys schedule date nights like that's working at it like so maybe ask yourself if you're doing those things and if you're not you could try them you've had to work at your relationship yeah 100 relationships all require work but at the end of the day i think there's something that like, I think we touched on this earlier. Like, we always know we're a team. And that's never been a question. So if you're asking the question, it's pretty, it's kind of a telltale sign. Like, there's never been a question in my mind of whether Nico and I are going to be a team or not. Nico's her boyfriend. Also, can I just say that if you think as a woman that you're going to change a man, it is not going to happen. In fact, let me tell you something because I've been with someone forever. Their qualities that you don't like or do like intensify.

So if they snore really loud, you don't snore really loud. So this is just an example. But if they snore really loud, you don't snore really loud. So this is just an example. But if they snore really loud, it gets louder. Okay. Speaking of snoring, before you had your jaw surgery, it sounded like a chainsaw was running next to you. Yeah, I had some issues at night. I would wake up terrified some nights.

So unless they're willing to get reconstructive jaw surgery. Yeah, which they don't want to do. No, if they, okay, if they like leave the toilet seat up and you think that you're going to change that, you're not. I've tried. I've done everything and you still leave the toilet seat up. No, I sometimes. I fell in last night. I fell into the toilet.

I'm 70%. No, you're not. Yes, I am. That's cute. You think that. You're 40. You leave the toilet seat open and I go in in the middle of the night. Well, look at this. To go pee and i go in at the in the middle of the night well look at this to

go pee and i fall in well and every goddamn time i scream fuck and you're asleep but i look at it like this now if you know that i'm 40 maybe you should be checking a little bit more often so you don't fall no that's not the way that's gonna work that's cute though that's an important part of the relationship too is are you willing to live with the things that bother you that that person does like can you live with him leaving the toilet seat up 40 that's forever lauren i don't know why i know this but a long time ago i remember i read a little statistic that gwyneth paltrow said she said like i think it was like 80 of women are you on goop no no this was years ago i remember it was in a magazine. I don't know why I was reading this.

You said 80% of women over exaggerate? Over exaggerate about falling in the toilet. She got that wrong by a little bit. It's 100% of women over exaggerate. Yeah, that women obviously don't fall in, but it's not as big of a deal. They just look and they go, oh, well. It's the same thing as me looking at the toilet seat being closed. I just open it. Yeah, Gwyneth, maybe do some

fact checking. That is 100%. That's a little goofy. No, it is the worst though when you go to sit down on a toilet and they didn't put the toilet seat down like all the men out there in relationships put the toilet seat down i don't know what this reminds me of this reminds me of like you're camping in the woods and the and the ranger says hey do not walk on that path because there's a bear trap and there's a good chance you put your foot in it so us men will be like okay guys like we're not going to take that path because there's a bear trap there and like we're just going to take that path because there's a bear trap there and we're just going to avoid it

or we're going to know to look for it. Why can't you just put the toilet seat down? Listen, you know the bear trap is there. In this case, the bear trap's the toilet and you still fall in. You still fall in. Okay, so... And I get a little humor thinking about you in the night

getting your ass wet in the toilet. You get humor? Well, now that I'm thinking about it right now, I'm kind of giggling to myself. Oh, that's cute. humor thinking about you in the night getting your ass wet in the toilet. You get humor? Well, now that I'm thinking about it right now, I'm kind of giggling to myself. Oh, that's cute. Thinking about what happened when you're in the dark in the night all delirious and you're like... I'm going to put fake used eyelashes on your pillow so you have to lay on them every night. Someone needs to invent a spring-loaded toilet that automatically just retracts back to its original standard. Okay, wait.

Going back to the question, there's a part in here where she says, I'm independent with a ton of goals. I feel like we should address that because, like, what does that have to do with being in a relationship, having goals? The worst thing that can happen is I believe, and this is so cliche, but I believe that who you surround yourself with on a daily basis is kind of who you become. So if you have a lot of goals and you're super independent and

you're dating someone that's not that way it's harder in my opinion to achieve what you want to achieve if you're with a debbie downer right so you're you're kind of you're kind of a sponge in a way no but the goal is just like the goals just need to be aligned yeah but i feel like you and i push each other. Yes. So if what you're saying is I'm independent with a ton of goals and the significant other does not have those goals or share those goals or want those goals. Or support those goals.

Or support those goals. Then, yeah, you're going to run into some trouble. Lauren and I, it's worked because we're both very supportive of each other and our goals. Not with that toilet seat, I'm not. Not supportive of each other and our goals and um not with that toilet seat i'm not not supportive of that i read this question as if he's holding you back because if you have to say i'm an independent with a ton of goals that reads like he doesn't have a ton of goals and is not independent and he will be basically an anchor pulling you under. What if you're the independent one, Taylor,

and someone's not independent and doesn't have goals? It depends. If you're looking for someone who either has the same drive as you, then that wouldn't work out. But if you're someone who basically lives a life where it doesn't matter what the other person's ambitions are, I guess that's easier said than done. But most likely, if you're independent,

you want someone else that's independent so if so so can we expect to see the bare naked cucumber out on the dating circuit uh i don't know i'm you know there's there's definitely like a grieving period maybe yeah that's gonna last till this weekend until we i'm gonna take him out we're gonna go out he's gonna be out there um we haven't decided if he's gonna stay bare naked or if he's going to grow some hair out. No, no, no. That's over. I think that's a preference thing. That's over. By the way, he's called the bare naked cucumber for those of you that are just tuning in because Taylor

thinks that women prefer a bare naked cucumber which is quite debatable. I think they do. It's not my fave. We should do a poll on somewhere. I feel like the poll

would just be like zero and then 100%. You can do a Twitter poll. Yeah. We should do a Twitter poll. Okay, we will do a Twitter poll. So expect to see Taylor out on the dating circuit.

He's on Tinder.com. I'm going to force him even against his will. I have Danny and Wesson signing him up for every dating site out there right now. Little grinder. Maybe not grinder, but every other one and expect to see his face on the circuit.

And yeah. All right. Well, next week we promise we'll bring the Nans on. She was just too sick to come on. She felt so bad. I'm going to bring her chicken soup today, but she will be on next week. Thank you guys for listening. Make sure to subscribe and review. Use the hashtag Ask Him and Her for questions for us on Twitter, Instagram. Also, submit your questions to podcast at theskinnyconfidential.com and we will answer them next week. Taylor, what are you drinking over there? It's chameleon cold brew. I feel like I need to look at those ingredients. Hand that to me.

I think it's organic. And we're done. Bye! Bye!