The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - #33: Adderall and Compliments with Annabelle DeSisto

Episode Date: October 18, 2016

Host of the Podcast "Adderall and Compliments" Annabelle DeSisto & Taylor O' Conner aka "The Bare Naked Cucumber," join Lauryn & Michael to discuss going from writing Facebook statutes to writing for Joan Rivers on "Fashion Police," Annabell's mortifying encounter with Jason Segel, Michael's bachelor party in Canada, getting a lazy eye from drinking, the benefits of carrying around 'magical crystals charged by the moon,' how Annabelle got into stand-up comedy, Annabell's love for TV & her couch, and how Annabell's podcast "Adderall and Compliments" came about. You don't want to miss the hysterical banter that ensues! To Listen to Adderall and Compliments click HERE To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn’s latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you’ll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

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That's B-O-X-B-U-Z-Z. All right, let's get this show started. The following program is a PodcastOne.com presentation. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride.

Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her. Hey guys, welcome back. It's Lauren Everts, creator of the Skinny Confidential. I have my fiance over here. His hair is looking on fleek. Number one, number one. You love to be number one.

Don't want to be first or last. We got to do something about those cursive lines on your forehead before the wedding the grand canyon you don't say we also have a super exciting guest here i'm gonna let her introduce herself she's right next to me hi i'm annabelle and we have taylor hi i'm taylor the bare naked cucumber and taylor brought his whole entire house in with him today. We're going to Montreal for the bachelor party of the century. Yeah, they're going on a bachelor party.

My bachelor party. I hired two P.S. To Canada? To Canada. Montreal. Are you Canadian? No. Why?

Are you going for free health care? What are you doing there? I'm not quite sure why we're going. My best friend set it up. Don't point to me. I didn't set this up. I hear we're going for the smoked meat. No, we're going. My best friend set it up. Don't point to me. I didn't set this up. I hear we're going for the smoked meats. No, we're going for the French fries and gravy.

Okay. I believe that's what they're going for. Well, my PIs are going to report back. I have different ones, and then I have a mole in the group. I have a lot going on. He doesn't know. You have different Mounties stations. Are you guys going to ride Sambonis?

What are you doing there? Okay, so it's sausages. We're just going for a good old time. Probably have a couple burgers. Take it easy. I want to go over the falls in the little barrel. Tamboni is like, what are you doing there? Okay, so it's sausages. We're just going for a good old time. Probably have a couple burgers. I want to go over the falls in the little barrel. That's not there. That's in Niagara Falls.

Oh, so you packed wrong. Whoops. Why do you have a garment bag? Who carries a garment bag? It's 2016. I've got my suits in there for when I want to get dressed up. If you wear a suit to my bachelor party, you're not coming to the bachelor party. I just can't get outdressed. That's all that matters. So Taylor has told annabelle that he's

single about 600 times so far and you just sat down no she said hey i'm going to introduce you to some friends of mine and i'm sitting right across from her going excuse me uh i'm the only friend that really matters at this point and then i just heard you have a garment bag and i was like oh no it's not a garment bag she just over-exaggerate and describe things in weird ways. It's just normal luggage. I think it was actually hers at one point. You have a three-piece suit there for a bachelor party where nobody's wearing anything close to it. A three-piece?

No, it's not a three-piece. It's two. Oh, okay. You have a pocket watch. Why don't you just tell... Oh, my God. You're like Steve Harvey. Annabelle's from Adderall and Compliments, which is a podcast.

I love it. It's hilarious. You guys have to is a podcast. I love it. It's hilarious. You guys have to listen to it. Super girly. All the listeners will love her podcast. So tell us about the podcast. The podcast is unapologetically superficial, just like me.

And we talk about pop culture because I literally watch minimum 13 hours of TV a day. Are you really serious? Oh yeah. I, there is nothing more I love than TV and my couch. That's amazing. People are like, why are you single?

Not like people are like, Oh, you're so great. Why are you single? But, um, I don't date. I'm like,

cause magically I don't meet that many men in my apartment, which is like the only place I am. So Taylor knows where to camp out with his luggage and his garment bag. And binoculars. Ooh. Just joking. That actually came off as super creepy. Let's edit that one out. No.

Nope, that's staying in. No, I would love to have a stalker. Oh, Taylor. I know. I like what you did with the place. I like the way you rearranged your furniture. Thank you. Wait, what did you tell her her compliment was before you got on the show?

No, I didn't give her a compliment. Yes, you did. She said Adderall and compliments. I said, I'll pay you some compliments. Oh, no, no. I said she looks like, what did you tell her her compliment was before you got on the show? No, I didn't give her a compliment. Yes, you did. She said Adderall and compliments. I said, I'll pay you some compliments. Oh, no, no. I said she looks like, what's that girl? Adriana Lima. Oh, yeah, what's that one girl?

She does. What's the most beautiful woman in the world? He just told you. No, because she's got those features. I'm holding up the phone right next to her, and I can see a direct correlation between the two of them. You're a little shaky. I'm like, I just need this part recorded.

I'm like, I can leave now. It's not going to get better for me than that. That's pretty. And I'm just going to play it over and over again. She definitely has a unique look. So anybody who's listening, go to Instagram or the internet and search. Not Adriana Lima, but Annabelle. What was the last name?

Just so they can. De Sisto. De Sisto. Can you stop writing that down under the table? No, it's okay. It's already. It's my mental limit. My parents will Venmo you whatever you want down under the table? No. It's okay. It's already... Oh, my God. My parents will Venmo you whatever you want.

Like, this is incredible. See? Perfect. There, we got the confidence out of the way. Taylor's on Bumble. Are you on any dating apps? I just signed up for... Okay.

I've signed up for Bumble literally four times, and I have not even made it 24 hours until I delete it. Why? And I even paid... I guess you can pay for, like, an upgraded account, which I paid nine, nine. I paid almost $10, $9.99. You're a business person. So you would understand this.

The $9.99 is actually a trigger point. If they put 10, it's actually, you know, discerning, but nine, I'm actually a fan of the 95. Okay. I heard that because I was going to sell like crystal. My mom's like, you have to put it. I got to hear about your crystals. I can't wait to hear about that. You have to put it under $20.

She's like, Donny Deutch talked about. One of my crushes, Donny Deutch. But she was talking about, she's like, you have to do like $9.99. It's a big thing. So yeah, I paid $9.99 to have an upgraded Bumble account, which I'm like, it's free. I don't know even what that does for you. And I still deleted it. Are you on upgraded or are you on free, Taylor?

I think I'm free. $9.99, are you out of your mind? Are you still looking at Adrenalina? No, it's just sitting there. I closed it. So if you guys are on Bumble, make sure you get the upgraded app because you don't want to be playing in what Taylor's doing. No, I'm not going to lie.

I have the upgraded one. $9.99. Wait, you just lied? Yeah, I lied. That's amazing. And what it is, it's supposedly the upgraded version. What it does is it puts people in a queue that have interest in you. But they're all garbage anyway, so it doesn't matter.

Okay, so you think everyone on Bumble is garbage and you just lied about paying $9.99. Well, somebody snapped me his Bumble profile the other day, which made my night. I was sitting there. I just kind of had a hard day. And they snapped me. Why do you have a collage of four photos of yourself for your profile picture? That's my Instagram picture. No, it's your Bumble picture.

Now I saw this. Somebody snapped me the profile. It's across all social platforms. Now she's really turned off. What freaks me out is every bio is terrible. Like every bio in there is so awful. Oh, I agree that. It's the same thing with girls.

They're horrible. Well, every guy has, because I looked at it, it was like every guy has his hobbies are adventures. I was going to say, do you go on adventures like to be outgoing? What else would be there? And music. And it's like adventures. Wait, do you see his profile? No. No, I'm just like I'm sure I do. Because anytime I see

those, which that's what every guy writes. I'm like, adventures? You're not Lewis and Clark. You're not Rediscovering America. You're not going on adventures. Taylor said co-host of the Skinny Confidential podcast. No, but all the girls are the same. Oh, that's good. He started out as a co-host.

He started out as a sound engineer, and somehow he's made his way on here. But then when we discovered that he was a co-host, none of us knew except, you know, we found out by Bumble. He's self-appointed. What they don't know won't hurt them. Okay. So, yeah, he's a co-host. He's on Bumble. So, okay, I want to hear about your

podcast. Like tell, I love your branding. I think your name is hysterical. Thank you. How did that like happen? I was reading, you started as a writer for the late great Joan Rivers. Yes. And you were writing for her show or for, yes, for fashion police. So I wrote for it the last year she was with us. And is she amazing? She was the best boss. I'm like, I don't want to get another job. And I haven't because I'm like, how am I going to get a better boss than Joan Rivers? Like, is she amazing in person? She was the kindest woman I've ever met. Not just out of celebrities, just in general. I was like, you don't even have to be nice. Like you're an icon and I don't like you. Like I'm barely nice and I'm no one. Like, but she would always give you

candy. She was just like, she was just like a grandmother. She's like, I'm barely nice and I'm no one. But she would always give you candy. She was just like a grandmother. She's like, you might get hungry later. And she gave you good candy. Not like Fat Secretary, like Jolly Rancher. Not like the strawberries one. You know the grandmas always have those strawberries? Oh, yeah. Those are terrible.

That you're like, where do you get those things? Where do you even buy them? Exactly. They're in their handkerchief. Wait, so I want to know more about Joan. Was she like as funny as she is on TV? Or when she was kind of off? Maybe when she was off TV?

She was amazing. And you got to send your jokes over email. So I got to do my job without any pants on watching TV. So how do you get a gig like that? Were you always into comedy? I was into writing. How does that come about? I was always into comedy.

I was always, whenever any comedians would come to Florida, I would always go see them. And I actually saw Joan Rivers with my mom like the year before. And I never in a million years thought I would be writing for her because I'd never written anything besides like Facebook statuses when I had gotten the job. Like I just like fell into being a comedian kind of. Yeah. I got into standup originally because i moved here and i didn't know anyone and i didn't have a job or roommate and i was so worried about how i was going to meet girls like how i was going to make friends because i was like how am i going to make girlfriends it's so hard in la like i can't go to a bar and like see a group of girls and be like

you look like cool girls and you don't drink we should hang out sometime yeah exactly i'm just gonna look like a sober lesbian who's just like, let's hang out. And they're like, no, you loser. Wait, can you tell me why you don't drink? Because this intrigues me. Like, I need to know every detail. I wish I could drink. I have tried.

And when you tell people you don't drink, they automatically assume, like, it's a problem. There's some issue. Yeah, or they check your ankle because they assume there's going to be, like bracelet on it or it's court ordered or something uh whenever i try to drink i get the worst lazy eye in the world and it is so embarrassing because i'm like i spent like three hours getting ready like one goes one way oh yeah it looks like it's trying to like roll out of my head like a marble it's just like looking at the moon it's like going everywhere have you ever thought about putting a eye patch on like a pirate before you go out? Well, no, because it's going to rub foundation

on the eye patch and it's going to be a very distinctive line. She doesn't want to ruin her eyebrows either. No one wants to do an eye patch. Wait, I need to know when you discovered that you had the lazy eye. Is this after one drink? Two drinks? This is after one drink. This is after one drink and it will

start flying around like the snitch and harry potter it just goes crazy and i realized this after i saw many pictures of me being out and was like oh maybe it's just one you know everybody can take one bad picture and i was like oh another one have you ever been on a date and be across from a guy and go okay cool i'm gonna have a drink and take one sip and then i go and the guy go uh i think I'll be right back. And then him like jump out the window. Just him not coming? Yeah.

Back and I hear the tire screeching. Is that lazy eye that big of a deal breaker? I mean, I don't think it's a deal breaker. You know, there was a girl in high school that we went to high school with and she had a lazy eye and I could never tell where she was looking. So that kind of freaked me out. I don't think there's anything wrong. Did you just assume you're like, she's probably looking at me.

No, I think she, I don't know where she, I mean, is that weird? Do you see split vision you are losing girls in the audience by the second once again no i'm just trying to understand they have a huge lazy eye demographic for the skinny confidential and you're insulting rude so i want to go i want to go back a little bit just because i'm intrigued for people listening that want to get into comedy writing how how do you go about that process i mean i know we're joking around and you're saying that, you know, you watch TV for 13 hours a day, but I know there's also a lot of work that goes into producing a podcast, writing, getting a job like that. So how did you actually get your foot in

the door and like start the process of that pursuing that career? I actually saw a tweet by Heather McDonald, who I followed from Chelsea lately, and she had posted about an all-female comedy class. And so I got into that because I was like, that's a non-creepy way to meet friends. So I was just going in there to learn how to write comedy, but actually just to make friends,

and I wasn't going to do the comedy show at the end. And then I did, and I was like, oh, I can do this. I'm like, I'm not nearly as bad as everybody else doing show at the end. And then I did, and I was like, oh, I can do this. I'm like, or I'm not nearly as bad as everybody else doing this at open mics. So I'm like, are people bad? They're really bad. And it's mostly the men who have the most confidence. They have like the confidence of like a black, large drag queen and they have terrible material. Like they'll go up there with no material. And they're like, I went to McDonald's today. I don't know if there's anything in that. Um, and girls will go in and they have much better material, Like they'll go up there with no material. And they're like, I went to McDonald's today. I don't know if there's anything in that. Um, and girls will

go in and they have much better material, but they don't have the confidence. And Heather McDonald was at this comedy place that you went to. Yeah. She came to our final show, but she just like promoted the class. So I took the class and I ended up really liking it. And so then I started doing standup more because in LA it's really hard to get like auditions. Oh my gosh, it's so hard. And so anybody can do stand-up. Anybody is allowed to go on stage. And how does the podcast come from the stand-up class?

The podcast I just started a couple months ago. And after writing for Joan Rivers, I kind of had a writer's block. And I would do some jobs, like freelance. But I started the blog just as like kind of a writing exercise to get me to do something every day. And I didn't think anybody would actually read it. So when people did, I was shocked. And so from my blog, that's when I started going on Stassi's podcast from Vanderpump

Rules. And people asked for me to do my own podcast. Like my mom had been asking for a very long time, but she was the only one. And I was like, I could just have a conversation with you on the phone. That's the same thing as a podcast. Uh, so I, I mostly did it for her because she literally got the equipment and she's like, we're doing a podcast. So she's like my guest on the first three episodes. Cause she's amazing. She's's like we're doing it so my mom made me do a podcast that's cool though i love that story because like i was too scared i don't know how you guys do i was so terrified at the beginning it is scary i mean he like is very

intense where he like makes you like launch fast and put yourself out there and you're you it's kind of the same thing that she did i mean if you think about it like you go out you took you found this class then you started doing stand-up like i think that's much more intimidating than getting behind a mic right like you must have been nervous at first yeah and a live mic too oh yeah i was for my first show on my way there i was like oh my god i hope i just get into a car accident not a serious car accident where anybody gets hurt but like a fender bender that would like prevent an excuse yeah because i was like oh we're exchanging you know insurance and please and so like i was literally praying for that and when i got there i was like oh no you you do learn the more that you're in

front of people and you're on the mic you learn it's kind of practice michael i feel like when i first put you in front of the camera because i got the worst jaw surgery in the world like i'll show you pictures it was horrendous i look like sloth from the goonies for two years so i i had to like turn the camera on it was concerning it was concerning like a jaw implant no no i don't know like i guess i don't know if we've ever like really told the full story but basically like her jaw well her jaw i like to tell the story her jaw was out of whack for a long time so she had like my whole life yeah her whole life she had terrible anxiety like grind the teeth like she sounded like a chainsaw when she was sleeping next to me, like she would slam her teeth together like a barracuda. And so eventually she went to the

doctor and said, listen, what do I do? She said, Hey, you have to have a gnarly jaw surgery, double jaw surgery. And she did a post about it's all on the blog, but what they do essentially do is they make incisions inside your mouth and then they break your whole jaw. And they actually, when they do the surgery, they can actually take your jaw out of your skull and set it on the table. Can we like, it's early. That's insane. And then they put all this metal back. So we're like, okay, it's going to be a six month recovery.

No big deal. She came out and I love her, but she looked like a pumpkin. For not like a month though. Like for a year and a half so and it was difficult because you know with what she does it's a lot of photography and a lot of like camera on her so obviously when you're looking and i'm just gonna she said it so when you're looking like the guy from the goonies you don't feel as confident you think that too and so the camera got flipped on me and i was definitely super awkward no he was he was he was nervous but

now he loves the spotlight now he like wants you to go in for another surgery where he's like i'm good no he's like yeah go go go go for triple jaw surgery like if we're skiing in a tree branch gives her a big scar you know then i'm just like you know he's loving the spotlight but that's kind of what the more you're in front of people, the more you talk, don't you feel more comfortable? Yes. And I'm such like an attention whore. And I just talk so much. I have so many thoughts, not all good thoughts, not thoughts that most people want to hear.

But that doesn't stop me. Who's been your most amazing guest on your podcast? It doesn't have to be someone that's even famous, just like someone that you like. What's an episode that we should all go listen to? My dad, in his mind, he's famous and I am completely OK. Like I am the Rob Kardashian of my family. And I know that like I am the dud because like my mom and dad are stars. They are so insane. They have like the biggest personality. So I'm just trying to hitch, like, I'm just going to try to ride on like their coattails. You can gain a bunch of weight. Oh, yeah. It's like, it doesn't matter what I look like. Yeah. Amazing. I love it. I want to tell you guys about an awesome new sponsor.

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Times Casify Capsule Collection, and it's five different cell phone cases. And I'm going to give one to you, Annabelle. I'm so excited. I saw these on your blog and I was going to ask you. Yay, of course. We're going to a launch party after this. Taylor's looking for a date. Hey. You don't need to drink anything, though.

Don't worry. Oh, perfect. Well, you're coming on so strong. Like, she hasn't had her blowout yet. Like, give her a minute. Wait, what's a blowout? Oh, man. I haven't washed my own hair in a year.

Oh, okay. So does it mean just, like, all this stuff's going to come out of your hair when you wash it? No, nothing's going to come out. It's literally stuck with like dirt and grease right now. It has its own... Well, if you want to come to the case party... It's the case-ify. The case-ify party.

Let's work on your picture. How would you invite a beautiful young lady like this to the case party with you? Case-ify. Case-ify. Case-ify. Let's hear your pitch. So, well, you got to set up the atmosphere. Am I walking down there? Am I just, did I just bump into her in the street? Like elevator pitch. Elevator pitch. I would say, well, what, what

floor are you going to? And if you said. No, not actual elevator, like, like an elevator pitch, like what's your pitch? That's what an elevator pitch is too, right? No, an elevator pitch. I would just say, Hey, so, oh shit. Isn't your best friend like a major like business wrong wait elevator pitch is like what's your quick what's your quick pitch like how are you gonna sell because you know i i never really okay my quick pitch would just be like hey how are you what's up and her response would be okay i feel like we should act this out that's what i'm trying to think so now i'm immensely i'm in an elevator now so now i can't get out of there okay but anyways i would have said, you're going to the same floor I am. And I would have tried to find some middle ground.

I would have said something like I said about your Alexander McQueen shirt. I would have said, oh, you've got great style. I like that. Oh, by the way, my name's Taylor. And you would have said, oh, hi, I'm Annabelle. Why don't you let her respond to what you were going to say? Oh, sorry, you're on. No, I like your version of me way better.

This is what he does is he plays this whole thing out in his head and predicts what the girl is going to say back. And then when she doesn't say that exact thing back, he has a full meltdown and goes off the rails and just – Or I would have said, oh, and you would have responded, oh, my name is Annabelle. And I would have said, ooh, that's a beautiful name because it is. It's like the southern girl, southern bell riding around in a little buggy and carriage. She is not southern bell at all. No, but the name, Annabelle, if you think about it. Okay, so how would you respond to his elevator pitch?

I'm into it. See? And normally I do not talk to anybody in an elevator. I look straight down at my phone and sometimes I get off at the wrong floor just because I'm avoiding making eye contact. I'll just get off and use the stairs. I would have been like, oh, I'm getting off the same floor too. Oh, you're taking the stairs? Same with me? All I can say is the next time I want to pitch a business idea and I say I need to pitch my elevator pitch, I'm not sending you because you actually think an elevator pitch is being

in an elevator. You need to go back to class. Well, I thought you were setting up the atmosphere. You guys. And then he tells you what the client is going to say back. He's like, listen, we're in an elevator and we're selling this product. Okay. First of all, the first two minutes of meeting you, he told you about his six pack.

No, no. Okay. So I looked through her Instagram and there's a lot of guys on there with six packs from uh but they're but they're but they're reality tv well this isn't this is an interesting development i think you're on the wrong instagram really my instagram is mostly my cats let's take a quick let's take it i think maybe i am let's take a quick break and when we come're on a different Annabelle's Instagram. Maybe I am. Let's take a quick break, and when we come back,

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This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her. Your muscles are looking big today. Thank you. We have a workout contest, and if he loses, I get to hang him upside down by this tool, and he has to be in his underwear, and the whole office gets to throw rotten vegetables at his body. Are you really going to do that? Yes. I don't think he's seen my latest selfie, because there's no way that this is going to happen.

Oh, I saw it, and I was like, what a joke. No way. And just like that, we're back. We are about to get to the bottom of why Taylor is stalking the wrong Instagram profile. No, it wasn't stalking. I was briefly perusing around. And so what happened is I think I clicked on someone who liked a photo of hers, and it kept going.

I probably did it on accident, and I thought it was the same account. You happened to accidentally click on a photo of a guest that we're having on the show today that you've never met before or heard of before by accident. I'm just doing relevant research. I'm doing relevant research. I mean, I need to make sure I know who's going to be here. And you're getting upset.

And your research was terrible because it wasn't even me. No, I know. That's actually really concerning. But you're right. No wonder you're not a real co-host. There's pictures of her cats here,

which are great, actually. She's the most beautiful cat lady in the world. Oh, my God. He's wooing you. Are we, like, not even recording right now? I'd be completely fine with that. Like, this is the best thing that will ever happen to me.

He hasn't looked you in the eye, though, once. Have you noticed? No, I have. He looks down. Just for, like, a brief second. Then she looks and I run away. You get nervous. Yeah.

Do you see that, though? It's a good thing she's not drinking because if she had that lazy eye, I wouldn't be able to hide. I'm just kidding. You are absurd today. You and your garment bag. I can't take you. So anyways, we're back with Annabelle. She's a podcaster. And again, I want you to, I want you to tell us, like, I know who your favorite podcast guest is, but what's your podcast? Like, I guess your brand, is it all comedy? Like what can we expect when we go to

your podcast? It's really fun. I don't do anything. I don't talk about anything serious or educational. It's just my girlfriends. All my girlfriends are comedians. So we just come on and we talk about pop culture, but then we talk about embarrassing stories that happened to us in high school or now, like mortifying experiences with celebrities, which is basically every experience I've ever had with a celebrity. Can you please tell us one?

You have to tell us a story. Uh, probably my worst was Jason Siegel, who I was obsessed with. Like my parents paid, like my parents won an auction for me to go to the set of how I met your mother. I'm just so embarrassed. I know. Um, but he was like my number one celebrity crush for years. Like I watched forgetting Sarah Marshall every single day. Like I was, there was something

wrong with me. Well, he used to be, and now I, I can't even see him on TV. Like I get so nervous. I saw him at the LA haunted hayride and I literally almost died of embarrassment. I was like, stop. So we got to get out of here. Um, so my friend and I went to the set, like I flew her out here. I got my makeup done, like my hair done. I'm so ready. I wore like a cocktail dress, like to go visit a set at 11 AM. And so they were just about to go to break. So like the PA is like, oh, we're going to lunch.

So you're going to have to come back in like an hour. And I was like, okay, well like we're at the auction winners is like, yeah, so we're at break. So just come back in an hour. You can just walk around. I was like, okay. So we go out. So we're like just walking around outside the lot and we see him on a golf cart, like 10 feet away

smoking. I was like, Lindsay, oh my God. And so I just like started hyperventilating. She's like, well, you have to go over there. Cause you've stared at him and he sees you and you're just making so much noise. And I was like, okay, I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. So I'm like walking just the 10 feet and right in front of him, like some like intern, like skateboards pass me and like jumps on the golf cart with me. He's like, what's up Jason? And like does like that bro handshake. And so then I'm just standing right in front of them, just like six, like six inches away, like uncomfortably close. And they're like, um, do we, and I was like, I'm just, I'm such a big fan. I'm sorry. I won an auction. And I'm just,

your auction winning. Like, was he nice? I was like, I'm such a such a big fan i'm sorry i won an auction and i'm just your auction winning like was he nice i was like i'm such i'm a huge fan i won in this auction and i'm just like and he's like um okay well we're at break right now and i was like okay he's like so you can just like walk around you know go see another set or i was like okay well i'm gonna go see that family guy said i want to see the house in person. He goes, um, family guy doesn't have a set because it's a cartoon. And I said, I was like, oh, it must be that TV magic. Okay. I'm going to, and just like walked away and started crying. So he was mean. I was just like, not like, I think that's a great joke. I was just so embarrassed. But the fact that he thought I was dumb enough that I did not know that Family Guy was a cartoon and that it didn't have a – like the house wasn't a real set.

It's like how do you come back from that? Like you don't. No. So, okay. So he's not – he doesn't sound like that nice either. No, he wasn't that nice. I was like, are you – Jason Segel, you're a fucking dick.

Seriously. I'm just like, okay. I'm glad those kids got – That's amazing that he thought you were that dumb. I know. I'm just like – i'm glad those kids got you know amazing that he thought you were that dumb i know i'm just like he didn't get it though i get like i'm not steven hawking but i'm not you know like drooling on myself you know like that's amazing okay so we're over him who's the new celebrity crush besides taylor larry david oh my god oh man yes he's my number one celebrity crush that's my number one too he. That's my number one, too. He is amazing.

You need to get him on your podcast. I bet he would come on. I was just telling Lauren, if more of the world was like Larry David, we'd have a lot less confusion and problems. Explain that, Michael. Meaning like, okay, you know that episode in Curb Your Enthusiasm when he goes to New York? Have you ever seen this one? Do you ever watch his show, Curb Your Enthusiasm?

Yeah. It was when he was doing the producers. Yeah. So he goes to New York and there's a guy that he's, you know, they're originally from LA. Do you ever watch his show, Curb Your Enthusiasm? Yeah, it was when he was doing The Producers. Yeah, so he goes to New York and there's a guy that, you know, they're originally from LA. He goes to New York and he runs into the guy that's like an acquaintance from LA. And the guy comes up, he says, hey, Larry, like we should hang out. We should get together. And he just looks at me, he's like, listen, we're not going to get together.

We don't get together in LA. I don't really like you. You don't really like me. As a matter of fact, if we never talk again, again Like I'm fine with that And I just think that If more people were like that The world would be A better place right I love that

Absolutely That's what I had On my Bumble profile It was just My celebrity crush Is Larry David And don't message me If you're a serial killer

Unless you only kill Other serial killers I remember on your Instagram This is something I was laughing about Was the Instagram Of Larry David Where it says

How deep did you go, man? It's not that deep. It's only That's from 2013. Oh, shit. November 23rd, 2015. I'm deep. You're almost a full year back.

Yeah, I know. Time flies. I hope you're liking all of them. I need it. Oh, I will. Okay, I'll go through. I like one from like 2012. I know.

My career goal is just like my end career goal is just to be able to promote detox teas on Instagram. That's amazing. That's like the end. Then you die. be able to promote detox teas on Instagram. That's amazing. That's like the end. Yeah, then you die. You would appreciate that. I appreciate it. Yeah.

A little protein powder. Detox teas and to be a guest judge on RuPaul's Drag Race. Perfect. I feel like those are attainable goals. So is podcasting, comedians, that full-time career now? Yes. I have great investors and my investors are my parents. So they're very lucrative.

It's amazing. I love it. Are you still doing standup? No, I haven't done standup in like almost two years. And still writing or no? Yeah, I still write and I still do freelance writing jobs. What's the writing process? Because as a blogger, I write for some reason from 11 at night to two in the morning, which is obnoxious and probably not the right way to go about it. Do you have like a writing process that you do that makes sense to you for comedy? Or is it just kind of when it comes to you writing your iPhone notes? I'm like,

I'm the biggest procrastinator ever. So for Fashion Police, I mean, you would have three days and they give you pictures and you have to write 20 jokes per picture. And sometimes like the day before they'd be like, we need 50 more jokes on Christina Aguilera's purse. So you're like trying to think of how many jokes you can make about a purse. But I would always turn them in. I would write them probably two hours before the show, before they were due. That's just like, right into pressure.

Yeah. That's the best way you write under pressure. Yeah. That's the best way to write, in my opinion. Michael likes to plan ahead, but. No, but with writing, I'm learning like you have to, you kind of need like a trigger. No, you like, it's sometimes in the moment, it's just easier to write. Like I have to leave it to the last minute.

It has to be the last thing on my to-do list. I like writing on plane flights. You did that once and now you're obsessed. I'm obsessed. I'm going to just start taking plane flights around the country just so I can write like anywhere, just anywhere. Yeah. Just show up to the airport and just say, just give me the next flight out of here. You're like, that's the only reason I'm going to Canada is just to write on the plane. No, I mean, you wrote once on a plane and now you think like

you're a writer on a plane. He talked about it for like, I'm a regular Stephen King. Oh my God. So do you do Delta Sky Lounge? I do. That was my dad's Christmas gift to me this year. And I was like, what? Is it amazing? He's like, you can shower. And I was like, how many times am I showering at the airport?

I like the lounge, but I feel like there's wilted lettuce. Lauren is like a horse with blinders when we go through the airport. She has no idea what's around her, no idea where we are. I'm like, wow, isn't this amazing? Look at this buffet. Look at this shower. See, if you had a lazy eye, you'd be taking in all the sights around you. That's amazing. I need a good lazy eye. It's not that she doesn't appreciate me. It's that she doesn't really know what's going on. Well, when someone's dragging you through the airport on a child leash,

no, I don't know what's going on. He gets me there eight hours early, drags me through security to sit down and eat wilted lettuce. That's got gotta be the next thing i do is show up like four hours early so i can get in a shower if you get in a shower at the airport i swear on my life i will break up and snapchat it that's probably where you get those weird you're gonna get those diseases from the people that are let's not get back into your diseases you should go take a shower there and shave and get like a really good wondering we got into his diseases a couple episodes back the episode is called flared up razor burned and out of control yeah i realized that you're supposed to shave you're supposed to shave with the grain

not against it which is the one that's currently the most aggressive like is there any like oozing what is the no no there's it's it was a one-time flare-up that i had okay you go against the grain and you you you pay for it well let's back it up so just so he decides to go we call him the bare naked cucumber because he goes completely bare like a six-year-old boy you a swimmer what are you he dated a swedish girl but let's not get too deep into that so anyways he got in this weightlifting contest with another guy in my office who wasn't aware that he was in the contest, really. And he went to pose for pictures when the contest was over. And he made a mistake, and he shaved the night before and had a huge flare-up.

So it really hurt him in the points. I almost destroyed my own competition just by having Fraser burn. He almost lost because of this flare-up. And this was a competition you made yourself? No, no. It was between a coworker and myself, and it was to see who could have a physical transformation within six months, give or take.

He did nothing. He didn't work out at all. And did he still win? No, no, but he almost won because of the Razorburn. No, no, I won. So this caterpillar is now a fucked-up butterfly. Yeah. And the contest was on Snapchat,

and we don't know really who won exactly. is now a fucked up butterfly. Yeah. And the contest was on Snapchat. And, you know, we don't know really who won exactly. But they're doing another contest against each other. I feel like Michael will just do a couple push-ups before and he's going to win. Yeah.

Wesson actually said double or nothing. Wesson said double or nothing yesterday as he was eating a burrito. Annabelle's going to be a judge. I love... No, I love that guys make a contest out of anything. Just like throwing paper away, they do like the basket or... Yeah that guys make a contest out of anything just like throwing paper away they do like the basket perfect yeah they make a contest out of

everything that's true you guys do do that and i just like contest with you to no get my skincare better than you well you need skincare big time speaking of skin your skin is looking beautiful thanks honey speaking of amazing skin i want to tell you guys about Bioclarity. So you guys know I'm obsessed with skin. I do everything I can possibly do to take the best care of my skin. I stay out of the sun. I use oils. And I make sure my skin regime is on point.

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That's a $20 savings and it comes with a 100% risk-free money-back guarantee, but you need to enter my code SKINNY. That's bioclarity.com. Enter my code SKINNY. Go to bioclarity.com today. I know you had a jaw surgery. How have you not had a hand surgery? Your hand should be dragging on the floor like an ape like it is blinding michael did a good job on he picked out the diamond and then i did all the rest like your ring weighs more than you do and i say that in the most complimentary way that is that is kind of a compliment thank you that zirconian's really kicking in huh i'm gonna literally kill him um it's not a zirconian that is so rude little do you know yeah little do i know maybe it is maybe he switched it

out he got out of a crackerjack box yeah i'm gonna go get it appraised i had taylor run down to the jewelry mart down in downtown you know those little machines with 20 you put a quarter in and you turn i was i was at that machine all day trying to get that diamond out the ling with the claw you know he just i made him sit at the claw machine for hours till he got the right one. Taylor's getting excited when he gets to propose soon. I feel like you're almost ready. After I saw her today, I might as well lock it up. You are really hitting on Annabelle.

Oh my God. I'm back in this elevator again. I mean, I was so nervous coming here. No, he's not making you nervous at all. I mean, he's like ready to go. Do you want to go in the bathroom with him? mean he's right he's ready this is the first straight guy i've talked to besides like my uber driver in like a year so this is big for me i just made eye contact with it's like the reason it's like staring in the sun you know you can't look for too long

how can you not make eye contact i have the biggest eyes in the world i'm like a powder puff girl like you cannot avoid yeah it's it's, I guess it's like that. If someone's too pretty, you're like, oh, you don't want to look too long. Why do you look at me every day? Am I dying or something and my parents haven't told me? This is like a make-a-wish moment. I feel like there's something that... Are you wearing crystals in your bra?

Of course. Okay, tell us about the crystals. I think I have like... I don't know how many I have. Probably two. Okay, i have two and one so just so just so everybody listening we just oh yeah i'm sorry i thought you were about to pull your breast out and you're pulling crystals out of your tiger's eye oh my look at

you is this like a witch bone you know like the witch doctor where they they you know throw with like a little chicken legs and they read the future. Who are you? Like he knew Tiger's Eye. He knew that my shirt was a knockoff Alexander McQueen. I didn't know that was Tiger's Eye. Wait, so tell us about the crystals. Animal just pulled crystals out of her bra.

I want to know all about them. Okay, so one of my career idols, Spencer Pratt, is very into crystals. He was like the first person I saw with crystals on the hills and I thought he was crazy. And then when you come to LA, crystals are a very big thing. And I'm into any form of self-improvement as long as it's just me paying for something and hoping it will work. I'm like, oh, great.

And I am so into them. They're like my new Beanie Babies. I have bought probably 300 of them. Have you really bought 300? It is alarming. I let me get this straight. I need a crystal for moderation. I do not know what that means. You're walking around all day with what are essentially pretty rocks in your bra.

Well, that sounds crazy. They're not rocks. They're magical rocks charged by the moon. Okay, Michael's very logical. It's a little crazier. Michael's going to have some questions about this. I'm more of like a believer in like wellness and all this. No, listen, I'm all about like whatever.

No, you aren't. Yeah, no, I am. Whatever gets you through the day, like mental toughness, if you're positive attitude. So if that's what it is, but I need to understand the process of how we go from human beings to putting rocks. Have you ever been going through the airport and then have them go, okay, what's inside here? And you're like, oh, let me get my rocks out of my bra really quick.

Crystals, sorry. Crystals. Don't, I mean, when you say rocks, that makes him sound ridiculous and like a waste of money. Daddy's got to get his rocks off. Yeah, let's call them crystals.

Tiger's eyes. You're like, oh, hold on. That's a tiger's eye and this is a jade. It did set off, I have like a giant, I have a giant black one. Yeah, of course. I mean, I don't carry like my vibrator like in my hair.

This was like a giant black crystal. And it set off the alarms where they had to get, you know, when they get the gloves out and they have to take that scanner because they thought it was a bomb. I was like, my crystal is just so powerful that they almost put me on a no-fly list. I was like, but I'm in the Delta sky. Okay. So, but what are crystals do like, give us like a backstory. I think that they're just really powerful.

They they're really calming to me. Like how people like wear crosses or stuff. And I'm like, I can't pull off that jewelry. Um, I don't, they're just like, each one has a different like property. Like tiger's eye is like supposed to be for like confidence and wellness and kyanite, which is like the blue one is supposed to be for communication because with how much Adderall I take,

like I talk like an auctioneer. So I feel like it slows me down. Taylor, you need one for razor burn. Is there one for razor run? Does it have healing properties? All of them have healing property. What's one would you say he needs?

Does it ever get like, what if, what happens if you're walking in, like, someone bumps into you? And the rocks, do they just jab? Oh, well, I have implants, so I wouldn't even be able to feel it if they did. Like, if all of a sudden I just look down and my shirt is leaking, I'm like, oh, no, they popped it. But I've been to auditions before where I was moving and all of a sudden I hear, like, ping, ping, ping. And they've fallen out of the bottom of my bra.

And the people just look and I'm like, don't mind me. Those are just my magical rocks. And I look insane because one rolled all the way across the room. My favorite thing is that I've got you to start calling them rocks. You've probably only called them crystals before. Stop. Do you get them from the magic crystal store? Or where do you go and purchase them?

I used to live in Tucson. Tombstone's a great movie, though. them? I used to live in Tucson. Tucson's a great movie, though. And it's a great place. Tucson. And they do the... The Gem Show. The Gem Show. It's huge.

People come from all over the world. It's huge. Have you ever been? It's like Comic-Con, but for people into Crystal. How do you know about that show? She has a booth there. Do you really have a booth? Oh, my God.

I wish. I'm not that good of a business person. I need to spend more time around you. Let's open a... He's already thinking about how you can do a business around crystals. I can tell by his eyes. Oh my God, I bought crystals to sell on the website. Boom.

Let's talk after. That's a good idea. That's why everyone's like, you have to put it under $20. That's why it's $15.99. What crystal does Taylor need though the most, do you think? Like if you had to recommend one after knowing him for two seconds. I'm not sure if there is like a sexual harassment crystal, but Rose Quartz is really good to like bring in love

and self-love. A sexual harassment crystal. You know, I actually, I have back in 2006 when I went to Europe, I was floating in the Mediterranean. I picked up some rocks out of the ocean and I, I still have them. If I send you you those rocks will you carry them in your bra they're like they're not rocks they're more like minerals they're like those this has gone over the line no it would be my gift to you it's no because you're gonna see me you're gonna wow this came from the mediterranean ocean if i give you rocks that i found in the mediterranean in 2006 will you carry them in your bra well i'm just trying to who knows what type of magical properties you should take those rocks and put them in your bra? Well, I'm just trying to... Who are you? Who knows what type of magical properties these have? You should take those rocks and put them in your underpants and see if that razor burn

clears up. You know what rock I would really love is one that looks like hers. Oh, that's a good entryway. Taylor, get on it. Taylor's going to need to start working on some elevator pitches. Oh, yeah, you're right. That was a good one. That was a good one.

You should really lead with that. I'm going to run down to the local arcade and see if I can get the claw machine going again. I don't know what that means, but I've heard on your podcast or maybe it was on Stassi's, one of your podcasts, you said that you talked to your Uber drivers about your crystals. Is that what you said? Something about your Uber driver and the crystals. Oh, yeah. Because I saw that she had sage, like the big bundle.

It looks like pot, but I's just... I like that. I believe in that. I love Sage. And I was like, oh my God, is that Sage? And normally, like, I do not talk to my Uber drivers. Like, I give all of them a five star, and I'm like, please don't talk to me. You don't want to, like, you don't want to do this. I don't want to do this.

I think there should be a feature where you just press, like, you don't want to talk. Exactly. And, like, I thought I should do an app. I mean, I can barely, like, upgrade my phone. So you should do an app called, like, I can barely upgrade my phone. So you should do an app called like Schuber where it was like, shh, but Uber. And it's people who like, you just don't talk. Schuber is such a good idea. You should patent that immediately. Right? Like TM it. Is that how you do it? I have no idea how to. You know what I do, honestly? So I wear headphones

probably 90% of the day because I take phone calls to them. And when I get in the Ubers, I just pretend that either I'm listening to something or talking to someone. And when you have the headphones, it's like an immediate barrier. You do that to me too. Yeah, I do it to everyone. No, you literally pretend like you're doing something on your headphones. And then you go like this, sorry, even if you're not doing anything. Oh, you put up like the business man, like the finger, like one sec.

It's like, would you say sorry? And then they're like, okay. He does do this. So you're not really talking. There's nothing saying in the earphones. No. A lot of the time, I'd say 50% of the time, there's nothing going on in those headphones. I just use them as a defense mechanism.

Wow. That's manipulative. That's really rude that I'm just finding that out after two years right now. You do that to me all the time with the pointer finger. Whenever I do it to you, it's because I'm listening to something. Oh, okay. I'm listening to myself on the podcast. Okay.

Okay, so the Uber drivers, we need to do Schuber. You got to get like... Right? Isn't that like such a good idea? Amazing. I mean, I'm not calling myself Mark Zuckerberg, but like...

That's kind of Mark Zuckerberg-y. I love it. Taylor, get on it. Invent it. Schuber. So now we're selling crystals. See, it's the crystals. I would have never thought of that idea

if it hadn't been for this. If I had had crystals during the Jason Segel thing, I feel like it probably would have gone completely differently. No crystals during Jason Segel. No, because I was not into crystals then. And it was just like, what made it even more insulting, it was I heard from everybody that he was like the biggest whore in Hollywood. Like I heard from like seven different people.

They're like, oh yeah, he made out with my friend. Like he goes to the bar and like literally announced during karaoke. He's like, who wants to make out with me? I'm outside. So like that was was even more upsetting. Because you felt like when you met him, he was going to be like, let's make out in the golf course. If you heard the easiest girl, it's basically like a hooker

turning you down. That's the level of insulting. I was like, I just gave kids hair or kids food or something with kids. They got something. I don't know what the charity was. A hooker turning you down. Taylor, I feel like that may have happened. I was insulted when we went to a gay bar in miami and i didn't get i didn't even get a wink not even a little this is a true story before we wrap it up we went um to miami to i don't know what this it was a gay club and if it was like a rating from a

one to ten of like if i'm not gay i don't care if anyone's gay but if it was a one to ten rating of how like intense this club was this was a full 10 like i manipulated i have never i have never felt so appreciated in my life i was getting grabbed i was getting slapped they probably swarmed you like ants on a piece of candy like i can't even but this guy he got upset that nobody was swarming him and he posed up on the cigarette machine with his arm and was legitimately pissed off that nobody hit on him just because i was more surprised i thought i would be like freaking you know flies to shit no you were not everyone no not one person looked at you actually everyone was into michael i think i even did that stance you know where i kind of lean out and i like my ass goes out to go like hey, come and get it. It's like ringing the dinner bell. Come and get it.

The longer I've known you, as every day goes on, the more concerned I am that you are somebody that I have handle serious shit for me. You're talking about sticking your ass out. You're comparing yourself to shit. This is very concerning. They're all just weird.

Is he your E? He's the one that you put this is he's like my dwight if i'm michael scott he's dwight i you're michael scott that makes me jan no thanks you're definitely jan the big the overweight lady wrong again, Jan's the boss that he has an affair with. Okay. Okay. It was so nice to have you pitch yourself. Tell us all about your podcast, your blog, everything.

Thank you guys so much for having me. You can find my blog at Adderallandcompliments.com. And it's just funny, snarky recaps of reality shows. Like what you really think during reality shows. Like what you'd be saying to your friend, which is like not anything that are the recaps on the internet. Cause they're way too nice. And I'm not. So that's what you can read on my blog.

And my podcast is Adderall and compliments and it's on iTunes and SoundCloud. And you can follow me on Instagram. The right Instagram is Annabelle. The sister. Amazing. Taylor, make sure you follow her soon to be crystal entrepreneur.

I'm going to come and do a whole segment and we're going to go on your Taylor, make sure you follow her. And soon to be crystal entrepreneur. Yes. I'm going to come and do a whole segment, and we're going to go on your show and just pitch rocks and crystals to everyone. Don't do it. I want to do crystal meth and then in parentheses, uh, healing. I see you like the ShamWow guy just on a big infomercial, just pulling crystals out of your bra. Oh, my God. That's such a good idea.

I like the bra thing, too, that you put them in your bra. And it makes your boobs look bigger. No, and you do just oh my god that's such a good idea i like the bra thing too that you put them in your bra and it makes your boobs look big no we need to do good it's like healing it's like a healing push-up bra that's great great idea michael get on that you need the face i think what you need to do is show someone get really have really bad luck and then show someone with really good luck and say you should have should have had your crystals to show that it's good luck or bad luck if you have crystals and bad luck if you don't. Can you be the lab rat?

I was going to say, so me and you will do a contest. We'll document you for a week like how you are right now and then putting crystals on you to see if there's... As long as... And watch, I guarantee you...

How can there not be? When I put the crystals on, I get to take you on a date and I'm going to say, wow, the crystals, hallelujah. Wow, hitting on people on air. We just met annabelle in person and you're already hitting on her amazing okay before we go i just wanted to take a minute to thank all of the great sponsors and all of you listeners and readers for supporting our podcast you guys are what keeps the show

growing and give michael and i the confidence to keep going we really really appreciate it and we will continue to do our best to bring you guys entertainment and value on a weekly basis for free. Now, here's an easy way for you guys to show your love. Just use our Amazon link to do all your online shopping. It costs you guys nothing. Just go to my Podcast One show page

and click on Killer Deals. It's above the show list. Then click the Amazon banner and go shopping. There's even links for Canada and the UK. So if you're in Canada or the UK, you can also support the show list. Then click the Amazon banner and go shopping. There's even links for Canada and the UK. So if you're in Canada or the UK, you can also support the show. Speaking of Amazon, you guys know how much I love books, love wearing my headphones, love learning, always on the go. So why not combine it all together?

Click the Audible button right next to the Amazon button on our show page. It will take you to some awesome reading lists that you can check out and buy from Audible. They are giving listeners free audiobooks when you sign up. I use Audible all the time, and it's a great way to catch up on books when I'm running around. Thank you guys again for downloading, subscribing, and of course, supporting. Don't forget to send in your questions to Twitter or Instagram using the hashtag Ask Him and Her. You can obviously always send us questions. We always answer to our Snapchats at Lauren Everett's and at Michael Bostic, two S's.

Or you can email us at podcast at theskinnyconfidential.com. Also, in the upcoming weeks, we're going to be doing more call-ins, so all you beautiful listeners out there can call in. If you want to call in, email us at podcast at theskinnyconfidential.com, subject line call-in. All right, you guys. We are out. Thank you for being on the podcast,

Annabelle. Taylor. It was really nice meeting you. Taylor's going to try to ask you. I'm going to go meet you in that elevator. She will take the stairs. Thanks for listening to the Skinny Confidential Him and Her with Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic. Download new episodes every Tuesday at Podcast

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