The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - #34: Crashing the Party, Bachelor & Bachelorette Breakdown

Episode Date: October 25, 2016

Lauryn & Michael each share some highlights from their respective sendoffs, from the unmarried life! The two newlyweds to be, discuss the wedding planning taking its toll on Michael, girls being 'sketchy' at bachelorette parties, Michael winning the bull riding contest at his bachelor party, the most expensive wedding tacos, the 'Him & Her Tips of the Week,' and they answer listener questions. To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn’s latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you’ll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

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is a podcastone.com presentation. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential. Him and her. Welcome back, guys. For those of you who don't know me, I am Lauren Everts, creator of the blog and brand Skinny Confidential. And I am Michael Bostic, budding podcaster, entrepreneur, and soon to be, soon to be, hopefully, husband to the lovely young lady sitting across from me. I feel like you're just saying that to get brownie points today.

Because I was grumpy. I need some brownie points today. You also need some coffee. I need something. You need something. I almost gave you a shot of adrenaline a second ago. I'm moving at a snail's pace this morning. Which is so weird and bizarre because all weekend we were moving at a snail's pace.

So it's time to kick it up a notch. The thought of this wedding is killing me slowly yeah well sack up you know the guy's not supposed to be the one that's like stressed out it's supposed to be the girl let me tell you something when you're writing checks you're stressed i'm writing checks too i'm stressed too we're all stressed everyone's stressed you do this thing where you like to let everyone know how stressed you are i want i want everyone to know i know everyone knows i'm going into mental toughness mode right now everyone gets it fuck it whatever yeah i mean just buy all the tacos in mexico i just want to point out something really hilarious i have a fully stocked fridge of you know waters and and juices and vegetables

and fruits and whatever michael needs and lima beans and like weird pastas. Yeah, you're lucky. Rock candies that just are for purely aesthetics. The point is, is that normally I have cold brew in the refrigerator. And I mean, I just think it's funny because today I didn't have it and he's complaining every second, but you never notice when I do have it. Well, no, I noticed something was missing today. And also you took all the teas out and I don't know how to, I, I know I noticed something was missing today. And also

you took all the teas out and I don't know how to, I don't know which ones have caffeine and don't. And I think I picked one without caffeine. I noticed something was missing from your personality today too. So I'll be sure to have cold brew all the time in the fridge. All right. As always, thank you guys for subscribing, listening and rating our podcast. We really appreciate the reviews and the messages on social media. Honestly, every time we get one, we like show each other like, and we giggle. If you guys have not rated or reviewed the show, please do so. Even if it's just one

star, drop us a line. Let us know how we can continue to improve. If you like the show, please, please, please tell your friends, your family, so we can continue to grow the awesome community. I don't do a giggle. I do like a manly laugh, like a goof-off. Is that how you say it? Like a huh? I don't know, babe. I'm do like a manly laugh, like a goof-off. You know, like a, is that how you say it?

Like a huh. I don't know, babe. I'm not giggling. You need some cold brew or you're giggling. I need a main line of cold brew. You need something. So what's been going on? Well, obviously wedding planning.

Michael thinks he's doing the entire wedding, even though I'm doing the entire wedding, which is hysterical in every single way. No, I'm not really. I don't really think I'm doing anything. I'm just seeing like I'm getting nervous the more and more I see you doing because I'm thinking in my like all I see every time you decide to do something new is like dollar sign, dollar sign. No, I actually have it under control.

It's actually not that bad. And I'm going to just call this out right now. I am not a huge believer in spending tons of money on a wedding. You don't say because you could have fooled me. No, I'm really not. I would rather invest it in my business. That's wrong. Okay, good. You're going to get a bill and I'm going to be with you and we're going to see.

It's not as bad as you think. I'm going to pass out. Like my wedding dress, like I know some girls spend like tens of thousands of dollars on their shit. I'm keeping it cool. Yeah. And their husbands are now dead or in a coma. At this point, I feel like you should just go with it. I mean, it's my wedding.

Just, like, smile. I guess I'm just there. Yeah, you're a prop. Prop, yeah. We might as well just hire someone to stand in for you. If you don't shave your chin and your upper lip right, then I'm going to hire someone to stand in for you. Wouldn't that be nice?

I feel like you're going to walk down the aisle in headphones unfortunate anyway so in preparation for the wedding michael had his bachelor party in montreal maybe that's why i'm so tired still no you got a sack up you're not 80 i felt i feel like i'm 80 now. When we got back, I was like a walking zombie. You still are. I was like the walking dead. You still are. Yeah. Hate to break it to you. But we just had a good time.

We went up there. I didn't snap as much because my friends were not having that. His friends were yelling at him. Yeah, they were saying, get the fuck off your Snapchat. And it's probably better because at one point I tried to do a snap. And I looked so terrible my friend saved the picture and showed it to me the next day and was like hey look this is what you're gonna look like and you know i'm all about like just snapping in the raw and not worrying

about what i look like but listen this was doing everyone a favor out there by not snapping what i looked like i looked like i had been buried alive and then dug back up did you have to put us through you on a horse though in the dark what do you mean in a horse oh my bull ride yeah no one cared i won the bull ride competition taylor lost at about one second wes and one second my friend steven came close but no nobody is as athletic as me so like tell everyone what you did because it sounded really weird you rented an airbnb with 12 guys we rented an an Airbnb with, no, not 12. I think we had nine of us.

Okay. And, you know, I think girls freak out a little bit more about bachelor parties than they should. Because basically what you do is you just go up there and get fucked up for a few days. And it's not as scary or as crazy as girls think i mean i think it like if you were actually on that trip you'd be like you would hate it yeah probably yeah i mean i want to watch you drive a mechanical bull in a dark bar no i mean we ran around did the typical things got drunk you know went to clubs went to bars had a couple drinks wrote a couple bowls doesn't sound like my cup of tea

had a couple burgers I'm glad you went and did that with your friends just took it easy, you know girls don't need to be so inquisitive with bachelor parties I wasn't inquisitive no, but I'm just saying, a lot of girls are they're going to send out a PI they're trying to work, just let the guy

go do it you know what's so funny right now is that I've heard so many horror stories from many of your friends and many people who are not your friends about bachelor parties go do it you know what's so funny right now is that i've heard so many horror stories from many of your friends and many people who are not your friends about bachelor parties so let's get real girls have a reason to kind of ask questions and be inquisitive like i don't know why you're acting like it's a weird thing you can't even keep a let me tell you something girls are way i know there's mostly girls listening to this right now and you know who you are i'm talking to you right now girls

are the sketchiest ever on bachelorette parties i wasn't sketchy i'm not saying you were honestly i was busy like snapping i didn't have time to be sketchy listen i'm secure with myself i don't i'm not i'm not worried about what you were doing but i'm saying you know who you are right now if you're listening why are you whispering into the mic because they know who they are girls on bachelorette parties they get down they are sketchy and you know who you are because i see them out there i'm running around i see you're not running that's a bachelorette party you're in bed with a book by nine like let's get real what are you talking about you're you're around and you see them there's a girl there's there's girls that get so out of control on bachelorette parties you know why because they just they they they start to freak out you know they start to get a lot of attention that they hadn't had in a while

and all of a sudden all honesty sheets to the wind i feel like your loyalty's out the window really deflecting right now this is really manipulative don't listen to anything he says i noticed you're deflecting i noticed you had a manservant i did have a man and sorry manservant if you're listening he's probably not but he was like a shittier version of me why were you zooming in on him no i looked and i was like that guy looks like a smaller weaker not as successful not as good looking version of me i have literally never met someone as jealous as you you You are jealous. No, that's what I'm telling you. I wasn't jealous. No, I'm glad you had your fun. I did. I had my fun. Let's

just say that your party, your setup was a little bit different than mine. You don't say. Yeah. So Michael went on his boring bull riding bachelorette party in Montreal with horrible weather. First of all, Montreal is fucking awesome. If anybody goes to Montreal, it's great. Why? Great food, great people, great weather. It's great. You have readers up there too.

Okay, I'm sure Montreal is great, but my bachelorette party was better. I don't know what to say. That's why you crashed it. I did crash it. I was coming home the next day and I said, that pool looks pretty good. You happen to have a pink shirt with Esperal, what do you call those shoes? Esperon? Espadrilles. Espadrilles in your bag. And you crashed my bachelorette party and you were sipping rosé

and thinking you were one of the girls. No, I was not thinking I was one of the girls. I was thinking, shit, these girls got a good setup out here and I'm going to go take advantage of it to recover. How cute was our setup? was one of the girls. I was thinking, shit, these girls got a good setup out here, and I'm going to go take advantage of it to recover. How cute was our setup? Yeah, it was good. So basically what I did, which is the right way, don't listen to Michael's way, was I got a house through Airbnb in Palm Springs. It used to be a hotel, so it was 12 rooms, and it was amazing. It was the cutest setup.

It was like very Valley of the Dolls, you know, 60s, black and white striped. And then I micromanaged the fuck out of all my friends. Let me just back up and let you guys know that I told my friends that I wanted a one-hour spa day in San Diego for my bachelorette party. That turned out very differently. Yeah. Very differently. Girls are so much different than guys. No, I like detail. I needed my white plastic thick cups from Saint-Tropez. I wanted my leafs lying on the table with pineapples. I wanted my bar set up.

I wanted my pixie straws. I wanted boob balloons. I wanted the setup. My setup was I slept in a bed with my friends Stephen and Weston for three nights in a row. That's creepy. And the only thing we had to eat in the house was cold McDonald's Big Macs

that Stephen went and foraged for at about three in the morning. And now they're coming out on your skin and you need oil more than ever. Literally I didn't have any balloons or any festivities. You had no balloons. We had nothing. I couldn't even barely get any water. Okay, well, we had a manservant. We had white balloons.

We had flowers from the books. We had wine bottles that said, guys with big dicks drink rosé. I'm going to break down the whole thing on the Skinny Confidential, but basically my friends were like crying by the end of it because I micromanaged the fuck out of them. But they were good. They were good. Man, I can't wait for this wedding stuff to be over. That's not nice.

Well, I'm being nice. I'm just saying this has been a... You're not being nice. This has been a process. Why? Because it's just, it's a lot of, it's a lot of distractions. Okay. Well, I'm sure it's been really stressful for you to plan every detail on the whole thing.

No one, I feel like no one really knows what we're doing. Well, we're just going down to Cabo and apparently buying the most expensive tacos in the world. No, the tacos aren't that expensive, actually. And I just added a couple of things. I don't even want to know anymore. I need bossa nova band. There's a couple of things that I need that are non-negotiable. Like, I don't know what to say.

There was one time I looked at the list and you were trying to buy massages for every single person in the wedding party. It was foot massages by the pool after the day that everyone arrived. That's not too weird. Well, guess what? Anyone that's coming, I next that, I cut it right out of the budget. Not happening. Unnecessary.

No way. Who wouldn't want a great foot massage by the pool? I'm sure they do, but they can pay for it. Like, imagine you just arrived to someone's wedding, and then you're, like, drinking, and then, like, the next day you wake up, and you lay by the pool, and there's, like, aloe vera foot rubs. Yeah, why don't I just buy everybody a ride to the moon? I mean, it's my wedding.

Yeah. Anybody, the wedding, they're supposed to bring me stuff, right? Can I just tell everyone what the funniest thing about this whole thing is? Is that his mom has insisted on throwing us a wedding party after we come back. So there's like 10 weddings. Dude, people are probably so sick of that. I feel bad for everybody that has to go. I'm being reasonable.

I'm not doing a cake. Like, I don't know what to say. So. Well, the one good thing. Well, it's not one. There's a lot of good things, obviously. But your body's looking pretty tight. At the bachelorette?

You're getting in good wedding shape. Bachelorette party, you're looking good. Me, I was coming off a bender and about eight Big Macs, so. You look like Shamu. Yeah, I look like shit. No, we need some oil. We need some massages. We need some eyebrow brushes. there's a lot going on so to prepare for the bachelorette party i am just

lifting heavy i am eating my meal plan i definitely did the meal plan like on steroids two weeks before the bachelorette party i'm back on it now and i'm using the bombshell body guide. All my workouts and my meal plan can be found on members.theskinnyconfidential.com and we're giving you guys a discount code since it's kind of like wedding season. Well, it's not wedding season. It's actually opposite of wedding season, but it's my wedding season. So use him and her at checkout for a 20% discount and do the meal plan with me because I am doing it on steroids for two weeks before my wedding starting now. Good.

Good. Great. Great. You need to do it. I need to do it. I need to jump on it. I feel like I have a list of things you need to do before the wedding. I got to work out a couple of times because I got to go and beat Taylor and his stupid

workout competition so I can throw rotten fruit at him. Taylor's beating you right now. No, he's not. For any of you that listen, you'll know that it was last week we talked about this competition me and Taylor are going to do, or Taylor and I.

He is on the dating scene. Him and Annabelle from last week, they might be hitting it off. I think he thinks in his head they're hitting it off. I think he's really going to try're hitting it off. I think he's really going to try to pursue that. By the way, Annabelle is so cool. She's cool in person and Taylor would be so lucky. Annabelle's from the podcast Adderall and Compliments who we had on last week. A lot of people liked that show. We liked her. Yeah. Michael said it. Actually,

when she left, you said, wow, that's one of the coolest girls I've ever met. Yep. She was. And Taylor really, really liked her.lor was so nervous the entire time he couldn't look her in the eye for a good 45 minutes it was pretty awkward but what else is new with him i don't want to get too deep but just when you think you know somebody bring taylor o'connor on your bachelor party and just when you think he's weird oh trust me he's weird uh next week or maybe the next time i bring on the show we're gonna hear a story about a man named katat who turned out to um be taylor's friend when he worked on a cruise liner who the fuck is katat oh don't worry you will find out i can't wait i feel like that's already a hashtag waiting to happen between

tales you die and katatette, I can't. All right, enough about Quetette. Let's get into beauty. Okay, guys, if you follow me on Snapchat, you know I am fresh off my bachelorette party. So for each girl, we put together this very TSC goodie bag. It was all my favorites. And of course, in each girl's goodie bag, I added Kopari. After testing out all their products, I knew my friends would become obsessed,

and of course they were, especially in Palm Springs. I just feel like they moisturize the skin and hair and smell island fresh, which is very on brand. And all their products contain no sulfites, silicones, GMOs, or parabens. They are all made with 100% organic coconut oil too. Love it. Nothing fake. My favorite product to give the girls was definitely the organic coconut melt because we are in the desert. And this one's just insane because it's multipurpose. No one wants to lug around a hundred products and this one just does everything. Another staple was the Kopari coconut body glow. When the manservants came to serve all the girls margaritas, we wanted a little glow, you glow you know all right so make sure you check out the

organic coconut melt it's a total beauty must-have just go to koparibeauty.com skinny now and get 20 off your order that's kopari k-o-p-a-r-i beauty.com skinny for 20 off okay time to get into the tip of the week people were missing the tip of the week last week. Yeah, they were. Well, I just think, you know, sometimes when you have a guest, like you don't want to get out of the rhythm. And I didn't want to just like stop Annabelle and Taylor's love affair and be like, well, here's my tip of the week. Taylor was having a love affair with himself, so. Yeah, it was still, it was entertaining.

So I couldn't, you know, we couldn't, sometimes you can't get into it, but we're going to try our best to get into the tips of the week every week. My tip this week has to do with emails and not being held hostage to emails. I talk to so many people that are always complaining about how full their inbox is. Me. Yeah, Lauren. Everybody around me, they have to get to their emails. They have to answer their emails. I am definitely not the best emailer, but that's by choice.

I look at emails as an invasion and as a, you know, disruption into focus. So, you know, I understand that emails are important, but a lot of the time they're unimportant and there are other people checking things off their own to-do lists. So, you know, I kind of pick and choose when I respond to emails and what parts of the day. And a lot of the time that means that I don't respond to everyone's email. This may be considered rude, but at the same time, I feel like if I spent all day responding to emails, I wouldn't get any real work done. And I think at some point you kind of need to make the decision or you need to make the choice like, okay, I'm actually going

to work today or I'm going to respond to emails. And of course there's some crossover between, you know, emails and work, but I think being held hostage to emails is a really bad quality and it's really destructive to focus. I think, you know, Warren Buffett doesn't even have an email that he responds to on a regular basis. I don't think it was either him or Charlie Munger. I'm not sure one of those guys, but they're both, you know, billionaires. So that has something to do with it. Um, yeah. And I think a lot of the time, you know, like if I just called something to do with it. Um, yeah. And I think a lot of the time, you know, like if I just called you up in the middle of the day and said, Hey, Susie or John, you got five minutes, I'm going to bust in your office right now. And I need five minutes of your

time. People would be offended and say, why? Like, I don't have five minutes in the middle of the day. So what's, I mean, I don't see any difference between that and an email. So, you know, pick and choose when you're going to answer emails. Don't feel like you have to clear your inbox all the time. Also pick and choose which emails are important and which ones are a waste of time and really make the distinction and have discipline when you're responding to your emails. All right. Well, when I check my emails, I drink peppermint tea and I feel like people are going to like this tip because I'm really excited about it. So peppermint tea. And I feel like people are going to like this tip because I'm really excited about

it. So peppermint tea is insane. Everyone should run out to Whole Foods and get some. I like Numi or Mighty Leaf. They're both organic. Numi's always in our house. It's so good. I get the Moroccan mint. So why I like it is because, well, there's a lot of reasons. It suppresses your appetite. It cleans your palate. It improves digestion. It reduces pain. It eliminates inflammation, which was awesome because I had jaw surgery. I need this all the time. And it really, really cures bad breath. So everyone should drink it. Why I fell in love with it was when I was in China, I heard from one of my readers, her name's Courtney, Courtney Bentley, if you're listening, that a lot of people in China and in

Bali, they break peppermint sticks before they eat. They carry them in their bag and they break them in half and they smell them before they eat. A lot of the girls do this because it makes you feel fuller quicker. So if maybe you don't need 10 pieces of bread, maybe you just need one. So all the girls just carry peppermint sticks in their purse. Isn't that interesting, honey? I wish I would have had a couple peppermint sticks when I was slamming eight Big Macs on my bachelor party. Yeah, I should have put some in your purse.

Another person who is a huge fan of peppermint tea is Victoria Beckham. She drinks six cups a day. I probably drink three. I drink it all throughout the day. I like it hot. I like it iced. I just love it. I'm addicted. I drink it after meals. Try it. Let me know. It's caffeine free so you can drink it before bed too. All right. Well, I got to carry some peppermint sticks before this wedding so I don't go down there looking like a porpoise whale. Yeah. You got a couple of things to do though. We have a huge- I need to take a bath in oil, get some peppermint sticks,

hit the gym. Babe, you have a scroll of things to do. Oh, my God. Well, while I work on my scroll, we'll take a quick minute break. Hey, honey, guess what? What? Dr. and Mrs. Guinea Pig Show is out every Tuesday on Podcast One. Isn't that exciting? I'm excited

except we're going to subject ourselves to some painful things to figure out what's the truth. Our pain for their pleasure. My pain for your pleasure. Get it at iTunes or PodcastOne.com. This is the Skinny Confidential. Him and her.

We're back. We went over his scroll. We didn't go too far. Yeah, we did. We sat in the same seat. No, honey. I have a list in my iPhone notes of things you need to do before the wedding to work on yourself i envision like whenever i hear people like on a show taking a break i envision them going and like stretching their hands and like going outside or around but

literally we just sat in the same place for a couple minutes i had to stare at his unoiled face for five minutes all right let's get into the questions from you guys keep sending them in podcast at the skinny confidentialconfidential.com. We love to hear your questions. We are going to do another call-in soon. Hopefully the bare-naked cucumber can field those calls. Hopefully not. Hopefully not.

Can we ask if Catette can come on? Wait till you hear about Catette. I can't wait. All right, the first question. How is starting a blog or brand in 2016 different than it was four years ago? That's a great question. Well, this is just like anything else. It's no different and also very different. Um, the biggest thing, the biggest difference is there's a lot more noise and a lot more saturation in the space, right? We were at a conference this week.

What was it called? The Collective Conf. The Collective Conf Conference, I guess. And it was a great conference. There were some things that were said that I really agreed with and some things that I disagreed with. One of those things was the difference between bloggers and influencers. They were trying to make a distinction between bloggers and influencers. And I wanted to jump up and basically be the keynote speaker myself. He was okay. Wait, let me just set the scene for a minute. We were on, I was on stage and he was in the audience. And when they asked this question, he was shaking and perspiring with anticipation to hop on the stage.

No, because the problem I saw is people are trying to make a difference between influencers, bloggers, social media entrepreneurs, whatever. But really it's all the same thing. Somebody of influence is somebody who has influence, right? That could be a blog. That could be YouTube. That could be Snapchat. That could be Instagram. It could be microblog. It could be a columnist from a newspaper. It could be anything. It could be celebrity, anything. It's anybody that has influence in a certain space. So to get back to the question and how starting a blog or brand in 2016 is different than it was four years ago, it's different in the sense that there's a lot more avenues. There's a lot more channels, a lot more mediums, but it's the same in the sense that if your message is reaching interested audience, then you have a blog or a brand or an audience or you have influence is what I'm trying to say.

There's no difference there. I mean, branding and blogging is all about capturing a certain demographic and speaking to their interests and speaking to it well. So the only differences that I see now in 2016, and this goes for 20 years ago, 30 years, is the way you do that is different. There's different mediums. There are different channels. I would say that if you're getting into the social media space, it's a lot more saturated. It's a little bit tougher than it was when Lauren started. But again, it's all about reaching that interested party and really catering to them.

I completely agree with you. I think that if you're scared of starting a blog or brand in 2016 because it's 2016, that's a weak excuse. And you need to look inward and be like, why am I making excuses that it's 2016? I hear so many people say, I shouldn't start a blog because it's 2016 and it's saturated. I mean, if you're a real estate agent, how many real estate agencies happened before you? You can't base you not pulling the trigger off that it's 2016. Wouldn't you agree? I would agree. You just have to change up your plan. Yeah. Change your strategy. Yes. What worked for somebody in 2012 may not necessarily work in 2016, but there's a new strategy that will work now.

And you need to figure out what that strategy is. My strategy, I can't sit here and give you my strategy that I did in 2010 because it's not the same strategy. So basically, as the blog and brands evolve and now it's 2016, the strategy evolves with it. Yeah. When I first started advertising on Facebook in 2012, it was wide open. There was very little saturation. You could throw an ad up

and get a really, really strong response. You can still get great response on there now, but it's not what it was back then. So that's because the space has become saturated. The competition has flooded in. So you have to find new ways to stand out. You have to have new ways to reach your audience. I think a lot of people get in trouble though because they're so nervous about doing it the way somebody else did.

And I've said this for a long time now. You have to find out what works for you. You can't take somebody else's formula and apply it to yourself. You can take elements somebody else's formula and apply it to yourself. You can take elements of their formula. You could say, okay, this worked for Lauren. This worked for this person. This worked for this person. And now it's, I'm going to put my spin on it and it's going to work for me. But if you just try to take someone else's blueprint, you're going to run into some problems. I a hundred percent agree with you. I think that every successful blogger or brand or influencer

that I've seen has created their own formula and their own way to stand out. And they've been really true to what they're doing. And you should find something that's really random about you that maybe you don't think is random, but other people think is random and write it and talk about it and use your own voice to share the experience. Everyone's different. You don't need to do someone else's formula. You don't need to see what's worked for other bloggers. Everything's constantly changing too. So maybe what's cool for this blogger over here in 2016 won't be cool in 2017. What I'm starting to see a huge trend of is that bloggers used to give off this, I am perfect facade. Everything was perfect. Everything was edited. Nothing was in real time.

And I think things are changing. I think people are interested in the behind the scenes. I think people want to see what really goes on. I think people want to see the hard work and the sweat that goes into it. I think they want to see you roll out of bed in the morning and, um, you know, wearing iPads. Maybe not me, but maybe you, maybe if you want to see you, but I think, I think that the facade of everything's perfect and, oh my God, I just had a baby two days ago and I'm back to my pre-baby weight. It's like, it's over. It's, I mean, it's, it's cool for a while, but how long can you see that? I don't know if it's necessarily over. It just may be, it might be over for some,

right? Like, so right. I don't think it's, I think Michael's right. I don't think if it's necessarily over. It just maybe it might be over for some, right? Yeah, right. I don't think it's, I think Michael's right. I don't think it's over. I just think you all, I think a mix is good. Yeah, I just, like I said, I think there's all sorts of different strategies and different things that work, but you have to find out what works for you. You know, I'm not going to be the best on Instagram. I'm just not, I don't put as much thought into that as Lauren is,

as Lauren does, but I like Snapchat. So I, so I use that medium. You know, it's also when you're starting out, I think it's smart to focus on one, maybe two mediums or channels and really find your community and develop your audience through those one or two channels, preferably one. And then, you know, once you have that audience in the community, you can kind of shift them around and move them to other places. Maybe you, maybe you start a blog and that's doing really, really well. Okay. Maybe start micro blogging through Instagram, or maybe you start doing, you know, Instagram videos and those are doing really well. Okay. Maybe now move that to YouTube. I don't know, but I'm just saying, find your own voice, do your own thing, do what works for you. Don't be pressured, be patient. And you know, really, like I said, there's no difference in starting a brand in 2016. There's

just different mediums and different ways to reach your audience. What were we reading the other day that said that listening to outside influences mixed together is a really big plan for disaster? I think, well, listening and understanding other things that are going on is not a bad plan, but getting influenced to the point where you can't get your own message out there, that's a disaster. Right. So if your parents are telling you don't do this and your best friend saying she doesn't like this and your boyfriend saying don't do this, I mean, my advice to you is to put your blinders on. And I get hearing other people's opinions,

but if you have a very clear vision and you're a visionary, you need to stick with that. Yeah, I have a friend in Chicago. We had a really good conversation on my bachelor party. He works for Thomas Keller and Thomas Keller's new restaurant in Chicago.

And he's been a chef out there now for the last couple of years. And he's been really focused on becoming a chef for the last 10 years. And he hasn't been making the income that he's wanted to make for a while. And he has a lot of entrepreneurial friends. So he was kind of questioning himself. And I basically told him, I'm like, listen, man, if you know that path is right for you and you're happy doing what you're doing, then you need to stick with that. And that's clarity, right? He's clear on his vision.

And I envy people like that. I think that to be that clear clarity, right? Like he has, he's clear on his vision and I envy people like that. I think that to be that clear and to have that much vision is a really, really strong trait. And it's a really, really good quality. And it's only going to help you in the long run. And Lauren has that vision. You know, she's done it for a long time. I have a huge vision. All right. Next question. I'll read it, honey. I'm in a three-year relationship, and I think, keyword think, my boyfriend is cheating. What would you guys do here? Well, I mean, this is a hard question to answer, especially not knowing you. I feel like it's not that hard.

Well, if you think something, I can't tell if this is a girl that's kind of like going a little crazy. If you think your boyfriend's cheating on you, you should figure it out. You should not brush it under the rug. Michael, don't look down. I'm not looking down. I don't think about cheating ever. Maybe I should. Should I?

I mean, no. You getting froggy out there? With the manservant? I think that if you think somebody's cheating that there's also issues there's other issues there's other issues yeah and i don't want to i don't want to call anybody out or why no because i just don't want to like attack this person but you know a lot of time when i think people are looking for shadows that aren't there those shadows start to appear you know i don't really think that's what's going on it sounds like her boyfriend is cheating to me

a girl will hear that she thinks a guy's cheating and girls will just immediately say he's cheating. Yeah, because guys can be nasty sometimes. I think so can girls. I know. But I think if she thinks if there's a reason to think there's a reason to investigate. And I would say do not brush it under the rug and act like everything's fine. If you think someone's cheating on you. Listen, I don't have time. if you think someone's cheating on you.

Listen, I don't have time. If you're going to cheat on me, bye. You're out. Like, I don't want to be with a cheater. Ew. Yuck. Disgusting. I don't want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with me.

And people don't have time to, like, snoop around and, like, see what happens. Like, you've got to figure it out. If someone's cheating on you, it's a waste of your time. It's a waste of their time. Bye. Well, here's the deal. I think there's two trains of thought, and it's my favorite thing to say either either find out if he's cheating and leave or shut up or find out if he's cheating and get the biggest broom you can find and sweep it all under the rug and stop crying about it either leave or do something

about it because it's really that simple and people want to hear like oh well what if this and what if that and like you know he kind And like, you know, he kind of like... You can't know he's cheating in this day. He slipped and fell and had a drink this one time. Or she slipped and fell and had a drink that one time. The worst thing, if anyone's out there listening and they're in a relationship where they think there's cheating, the worst as a woman is when one of my friends comes to me and makes excuses for them. That is literally like the worst if you

like just shut up sweep it under the rug don't say anything and don't play the victim or get the fuck out there's no in between no but i think it's like it's if you're cool with it stay and if you're not cool with it leave we've done this before who no we've talked about this before we've done this whole you know have you ever, you know. Have you ever cheated on anyone? Have I ever cheated on anyone? Mm-hmm. Unfortunately, yes. In high school.

Really made some rough moves. You're literally turning as red as the shirt you rocked on my Palm Springs match. I've made amends. We've talked about this in other episodes. Yeah, I've done things in the past that have not been up to par with what I would consider my par now. And, you know, I've had to answer for that with a lot of screams and yells and anxiety. Let's just put it this way. If you cheated on me, I wouldn't be brushing shit under the rug.

And my broom would not be going under the rug. It'd be going up your ass. It might be brushing me under the rug after killing me. It'd be brushing your remains under the rug. I 100% believe that too. So I don't fuck around. Yeah. You told me once if you cheated on me, you'd book a one-way ticket to like Japan. No, I would, I would be long gone. Nobody would ever hear from me again. I would find you. I have a lot of different things in place. All right. Let's change the subject for Michael's sake. So you guys know, I have a lot of different things in place. All right, let's change the subject for

Michael's sake. So you guys know I spend a lot of time researching beauty for the Skinny Confidential. I like to know the good, the bad, the ugly, the trends, the colors, what works, what doesn't work. You get it. Anyway, today I'm super excited to introduce you to Beautyconbox. Now, why I love this is because it's quick and efficient. So basically it's $150 of product for $30. I love a good deal. It's a subscription box that's delivered straight to your door each season. Some of my favorites in the box are the Flutter Lash and the Ofra Liquid Lipstick. They were both in my makeup kit in Palm Springs and my girlfriend Erica from Fashionlish was literally trying to steal the flutter lash every second. So you guys can save

$20 if you sign up for the annual payment plan, which is awesome. This means that you get to pay the total cost of the entire year in boxes. But if you're more of a seasonal girl, you can pay each month for the box and the shipping cost. Check out beautycon.com slash box to sign up today and of course we have a discount code for you guys box buzz for 20 off so if any of you watch 60 minutes there was an interesting segment last night i don't watch 60 minutes too often it was so good yeah we watched it last night it was all about influencer marketing gary Vee was on there. Kim Kardashian. There were some big... What's the guy, the Vine star?

Logan Paul. Amanda Cerny. Amanda Cerny. Just a bunch of people that have a ton of influence. Yeah, and it was really interesting because it seems that the mainstream media is really paying attention now to this form of media and... They're taking it seriously. They're taking it seriously, which I'm excited to see.

I've been saying for a long time that I think this medium is still very, very undervalued for multiple reasons. You know, the difference between influencers and I would consider Kim Kardashian an influencer and traditional celebrities is they have people choosing to go and put eyes on them 24 hours a day, seven days a week, where a typical celebrity, you know, say they run a commercial campaign or something that only gets seen by chance randomly on a billboard, on a commercial, in a magazine. And I feel like a celebrity, it feels like there's something between the celebrity and the consumer. With social media, you don't feel that like i feel

like sometimes when i'm marketing or talking to someone that i'm talking straight to the person and i can actually tell them my experience with the product and whether it was great or bad and i can give my honest opinion with a celebrity you never know what they're getting paid for what the deal is with an influencer it feels more like you're talking to a friend meaning lebron james isn't really driving a Kia? He's not. No, but the difference is that consumers are actually choosing to follow and identify with a voice, a voice like Lauren's or a voice like the people that were on the show the other day. And they do so not because, oh, wow, this person is showing me this product.

They do so because they know that person will only show them products that they believe in. And it's a form of trust where as long as that influencer or that person is not breaching trust and putting products out that they wouldn't use themselves, the community believes that and the community identifies with it and they're happy to listen to it. And I think that this is only scratching the surface of how big this is going to get. Yeah. I think at least for me and a bunch of other bloggers that I know that are awesome, like the Balance Bond, What's Gobby Cooking, I know that they only put products out that they actually use. So I'm not going to talk about something unless I've used it. And I'm not

talking about just one time. I'm talking about a lot of times. I need to use it. I need to see how it's working, which is why on Snapchat, sometimes you'll see different products that I'm using because I'm constantly testing to see what I like. Of course, I'm not going to get a product that has a ton of chemicals in it and try it on myself. I'll look at the ingredients first. I'll see if the brands will fit.

And then from there, I'll try it out. So I'm very selective about what I put out there. And I feel like when I say, you know, these are my favorite eye masks, or this is my favorite peppermint tea. It's because I've really tried it and tested it and seen. And again, I'm just sharing what's worked for me. I'm not pushing it on anyone. I never want to push it on anyone. Um, and I think that, that it's really important to keep kind of riding that as an influencer, making sure that you're constantly testing for the consumer and you're being honest and giving an honest review. Well, the best thing, and from the brand side, the best thing that these brands can get for value and the best thing that these brands can do is to let people like Lauren

and influencers kind of spread their message the way they want to spread it. I'm seeing a big shift on the marketing side, on the brand side of brands actually saying, you know what, if you like this product, why don't you go and actually tell people why you like this product in your own voice? And this is now happening for the first time in my opinion i think before it was very much a curated message from these brands using a celebrity or somebody with an audience to get their message across and i think now what's happening is there's a collaboration between the brands and the influencers i think it's happening slowly but surely um i hate a script i don't want to read a script i have my own voice. I have my own opinion.

I think that some really dated companies aren't getting the message that as an influencer, we need to be able to speak in our own voice and communicate with our audience and the way we communicate. If I start saying things that I've never said before and using words I've never used before, people are, people have, you know, a very good bullshit meter. Michael always says this. I mean, people are going to know that it's not me. I don't want a script. I want to talk the way I talk. And ultimately, I think that's what's going to resonate with the reader or the audience.

Yeah. No, it is resonating with readers and audience. And again, it's not all about product placement or brands at all. It's in my opinion, it's mostly about building a community and trust within that community. And the thing that I'm happiest about is that people are starting to take that relationship between readers or listeners or viewers or audience and influencers seriously. And the days of saying, okay, well, we're just going to exploit that audience and exploit that listenership to do what we, what, what we think is right are coming to a close, at least if you're a smart brand and they're starting to say, okay, let these people do their thing and we'll focus on putting out a good product. Absolutely. They, they supply the product. We, you product. We as influencers supply the voice.

So I want to talk about one more thing before we go. I want to talk about what I was presenting about at the collective con. And that was that as important it is to collaborate with brands, it's really important to build your own brand. So I've noticed that a lot of influencers or bloggers are constantly doing sponsored posts or collaborations like, you know, every single day, all the time, 24 seven, like that's great. But at what point are you going to sit back and build your own brand? And this has kind of been the year for me where I've started to make the steps to build my own brand instead of someone else's. If you've been in this, in the influencer world for a long time, I would really sit and examine if you're building other people's brands or your own brand, or if you're making strides at least and really think about that.

Yeah, at some point you need to make the crossover between collaboration and building your own thing. And I'm a big fan of building your own thing, obviously. We know, honey. All right, we're off. We're going to go get Michael some cold brew. He really, really, really needs it. I need it bad. I need it bad.

But before we go, I just want to take a quick minute to thank all of our great sponsors and all of our listeners and readers for supporting the Skinny Confidential Him and Her podcast. You guys are what keeps the show growing and you give Michael and I the drive to keep going. We really appreciate it and we'll continue to do our best to bring you guys entertainment and value on a weekly basis for free. So here's an easy way for you guys to show your love. Use our Amazon link to do all of your online shopping. It costs you guys nothing. All you have to do is go to my podcast one show page and click on killer deals above the show list. Then click the Amazon banner and go shopping. Shop your heart out. There's even a link for Canada and the UK.

So if you're in Canada or the UK, you guys can support the show. Speaking of Amazon, you guys know how much I love books, love wearing my headphones, love learning, love running around, learning with headphones, always on the go. So why not combine it all together? Click the Audible button right next to the amazon button on our show page it will take you to some awesome reading lists you can check out and buy from audible they're giving listeners a

free audio book when you sign up I use audible all the time I really do he's obsessed and it's a great way to catch up on books when I'm on the go alright guys thanks for downloading subscribing and of course supporting remember to send your questions in to twitter or Instagram using the hashtag AskHimAndHer. Send us questions.

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Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening to the skinny confidential him and her with Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic download new episodes every Tuesday at podcastone.com

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