The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - #38: The Newlyweds Game, Fights, & Creating Valuable Content
Episode Date: November 22, 2016Lauryn & Michael are back from Cabo! They discuss forgetting to get wedding bands, give a brief wedding recap, drinking the most tequila in the history of the resort they got married at, Michael's unk...nown-dance moves, playing Christmas music too early, the "Him & Her Tips of the Week," & they answer listener questions. To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan. tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn’s latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you’ll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off
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Let's get the show on the road.
The following program is a PodcastOne.com presentation.
She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire.
Fantastic.
And he's a serial entrepreneur.
A very smart cookie.
And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride.
Get ready for some major realness.
Welcome to the skinny confidential.
Him and her.
All right.
All right, all right, all right right they do have to do that every time
welcome back guys for those of you that don't know me i am lauren everett's creator of the
blog and brand the skinny confidential and i'm michael bostick entrepreneur internet marketer
no longer a bachelor lockdown game over life over everything over wear your ring like your ball and chain this ring feels
like it's choking me yep that's how i want it it's literally cutting off the circulation to
his brain which is ideal well can we talk about how we forgot to get wedding bands
i got mine at right aid which was totally fine i thought it was really cute i'm wearing a ring
that my buddy made me a while ago.
It was never supposed to be a wedding band, but I'm wearing that for now.
What's creepy, though, is you wore it before we got married, too, as an engagement band,
but the guy's not supposed to have an engagement band.
Well, it's because it's the only finger that this ring fits on, and I like it.
Okay.
That's the reason why can't you wear it on the other side?
Now I can't get it off for some reason.
Before, it was loosey-goosey.
Now it's like, I feel like when you get married it like like locks around
your finger like a snake i had it tightened when he was asleep jesus christ this thing is you do
need to get it a little looser it's so tight i've never seen tighter your fingers like what are you
gonna do though i hear girls like guys and wedding bands i might be getting some unwanted attention
no you're dead life's over there's no more attention attention what's up with that why
do girls like guys in wedding bands?
I don't know. Maybe it's like, I feel like maybe they smell like a...
Like we're stable?
Yeah. Your face is looking so good right now.
Well, after Cabo, I looked like a mummy that was dug up.
You looked like an old prune.
Yeah, I looked like I was been sleeping for a thousand years in the sand.
And last night I basically took a bath in
rose hip oil. Is that what it's called? Rose hip?
You are so funny. Rose hip oil.
He copies me on everything, but his skin
looks amazing right now. I can't believe how good it
looks. You're glowing. I'm glowing. You have
that post-pregnancy or pre-pregnancy stuff.
Must be the married life. Must be just
post-married glow. Yeah.
Now you need to ice roll or maybe it's because
like the check has been written now for the wedding and it's done and i don't have to think
about it anymore so i'm not like super stressed yeah probably i don't know as always thank you
guys thank you thank you thank you for subscribing listening and rating our podcast we really
appreciate the reviews and the messages on social media, or at least I do.
I don't know if I could speak
for my lovely wife over here.
Oh my God.
If you guys have not rated,
reviewed the show,
please do so,
even if it's a one star,
but you are in danger
of being called a bridge troll
if you do that.
Michael.
Just drop us a line.
Let us know how we're doing.
Let us know how we can improve
so that we can,
you know,
work on the show.
Keep it going strong.
Please, if you like the show, let your friends know so we can continue to grow this awesome community. Yeah, tell everyone.
Before we get into the show, I just want to let you know I'm not wearing deodorant and we're
sitting really close. And I have a clothes pin on my nose. No, you don't. Because maybe when you get
married, your BO also gets stronger. No, no. Now that you're
my husband, you have to smell my BO every day and get over it. We're only going to play up this
married card, or at least I'm only going to do this episode. Then I'm done. Cause I can't stand
when couples do the like husband, wife, husband, wife thing over and over. It's like, we get it.
We got it. We don't want to make you guys projectile vomit. All right. So we're back
from Cabo. We got married. Let's tell them a little bit about it. A lot is going to be recapped on the skinny confidential. I'm just waiting on pictures, which is why it's taking
so long. So stay tuned. I'm posting my looks today and throughout the next couple of days
on Instagram. I'll let you guys know when that's up on Snapchat. I don't know if this is something
you congratulate people on or give a shout out on. What Michael? I'd like to give a round of
applause to our friends down there.
Because as I was checking out of the hotel, I got hit with another bill.
Or we got hit with another bill.
He acts like it's all him.
Okay, well, we got hit with another bill.
Let's get real. And I was confused because we did the thing where you open bar, like whatever it is.
You just drink and drink and drink.
And the hotel sat us down and said, listen, guys, we don't know how to say this,
but in the history of Palmia in 25 years, we have never seen a group of people drink that
many shots of tequila in the entire history of the resort. Now, this would be okay. This would
be okay if we did the quintessential 500, 300, 200 person wedding. But no, our wedding was 55 people. Yeah. About 55, 60
people. Well, what happens with open bars, like they, they, they, you know, they take the amount
of people and they budget out how much they think they're going to need for those people. And then
they usually go over what they think because they don't want to run out. They told me that our
friends and us and our family and our family, And I don't know what this says about us.
Drink almost three times the estimated amount.
And when they told me this, I was just like, you know what?
All right.
Here's the thing.
Like, if you're going to party and you're relaxed in Cabo, party.
I'm about balance.
Like, let's have some fun.
I was relaxed as hell, especially on Friday night.
Yeah.
We got married down in Palmia, the one and only.
It's our favorite resort in the world, probably.
I think it's our favorite resort.
It's our favorite resort in the world because they legit put Xanax in the air.
You get on the property and you're completely relaxed.
I've never seen you personally more relaxed.
You're like, you're ready to go.
You're ready to.
Well, 6,000 shots of tequila will do that too.
I mean, you were grabbing my butt every turn, weren't you?
Yeah.
I'm getting crazy.
But yeah, so I'm proud of my friends.
I don't know if that's something to be proud of.
I'm not trying to promote a drinking problem here,
but I was proud that they showed up to party.
And I warned the resort.
I said, listen, my friends are coming down, our friends.
They like to party.
And the resort said, okay, yeah, we get it.
We throw lots of parties.
They go, no, you don't understand. My friends are coming down and they like to party and the resort said okay yeah we get it we throw lots of parties they go no you don't understand my friends are coming down and they like to party and after the whole hotel was
buzzing they were so surprised nobody went to the hospital some of our friends did end up in
cabo strip clubs after the parties taylor um some of them yeah some of them ended up in the cab
without pants on we were at like it's supposed to be like a nice wedding party and people are in their suits and ties in the pool splashing around.
Tables are being broken.
I'm sorry, Palmia.
People are slipping and sliding.
I think I went home that night wearing, I was in my tuxedo pants and my tuxedo shoes.
I got thrown in the water with my phone.
I think I went home that night with no shirt wearing my friend Jeff's right shoe while he was wearing his left shoe.
Because you wouldn't get over the fact that you had no shoes on. So Jeff and I were trying to
appease you and we're like, okay, Michael, you can wear one shoe and Jeff can wear one shoe.
And you were so pleased about that. You were so happy that you got to wear one shoe.
I hate not wearing shoes.
You did take my garter off with your teeth.
You're pretty good at that. You didn't bite me. Yeah. And then I busted out some dance moves. I
know we knew I had. Yeah. No one knew he had dance moves. You guys, he was, you were actually
really good at dancing. Yeah. Listen, you know, they say if you can't dance, you can't. What?
Fuck. Yeah. I like to, uh, okay. Michael think that I can do both that's really great tmi so yeah we
all ended up in the pool besides me because i had clip and hair extensions and that wasn't happening
but i got to snapchat it and your dad cannonballed in my dad cannonballed in it was fun it was our
wedding was just one big party with every single person that we love and it was really special and
we just really wanted people to feel like they were on vacation. And I feel like that's accomplished. Yeah. They
say that weddings go by fast. That thing went by super fast. I'm really happy with the way it came
off. I was a little bit unsure. I've never really liked going to weddings and I'm not bashing
anybody's wedding and not saying ours is great. I just, you know, I've never really like, it's
always been kind of a pain in the ass. So when we planned this, we said, listen, let's try to make it not so much about us
and more about everyone sharing an experience and everyone having a party.
And let's nix the white and make it all black, dark, eggplant, gothic, long table.
None of that round table bullshit.
A wedding's supposed to be a celebration.
Sometimes people overdo it with the ceremonies.
They put people to sleep.
And I'm not attacking anybody or saying anything's bad.
I'm just saying.
Our friend married us.
Yeah, our friend married us.
He was fucking great.
He was amazing.
I think we've talked about this.
He's known us since we were 10.
He married us.
Everyone was drinking margaritas while we got married.
Immediately after the ceremony, we did a champagne toast.
Yeah, we walked back down the aisle after we married to hybrid moments by by the misfits yeah it was pretty sick it was cool you know when you're planning a wedding just think
you know obviously you got to have the lovey-dovey stuff and you want to have the this you know the
family stuff but you know keep in mind your guests and and you know everyone wants to have fun yeah
everyone wants to have fun so make sure it's not too stuffy because here's the thing i would have
never pulled the trigger either if we hadn't put a deposit down.
Because like I say, it takes me a long time to wrap my head around stuff and I want it perfect.
And I don't want to pull the trigger on anything until it's perfect, which is a problem.
I probably would have married you in like, it would have taken me 20 years.
But nothing's ever perfect.
We've talked about this before.
I know, but that's my own issue.
It literally would have taken me another 20 years to marry, so I could have planned every detail.
So you're lucky there was a deposit.
One of our friends gave a speech and he said, we all knew Lauren and Michael were going to get married.
Didn't know it was going to take 15 years.
Took a while.
It took a fucking long time.
You know what, though?
Stay engaged, you guys, if you're engaged.
There's no rush down the aisle.
It's so fun to be engaged.
Just enjoy it. Don't you think? Yeah, if you're engaged. There's no rush down the aisle. It's so fun to be engaged. Just enjoy it.
Don't you think?
Yeah.
We love to be engaged.
We talked about this a little bit.
I don't know if it was last podcast or the one before that.
It was kind of a haze.
But yeah, you got to do you.
Don't worry about what other people are saying.
Don't worry about what other people think about your relationship.
Don't worry about the timeline that society gives you either.
Or your friends or your family.
Yeah, just like I'm going to do what works for me.
And I'm like my second grade teacher said, keep your eyes on your own paper.
I remember the whole time when, like when people would come up to us and say like,
why aren't you doing this? Why aren't you doing that? I just, I kind of just
looked at them like they were aliens. Like what the hell do you care?
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off. All right, enough about getting married. Let's talk about yoga. So got my chakra realigned.
You don't know what that means. What do you think that means i don't know yeah so you like yoga though
no i like so we came back and i like doing yoga with you why i don't know i just like well i like
physical activity i think i like that other yoga better than the like chakra realigned like finder
zen yoga but what did i tell you yesterday um i said that you need the yoga that's a little bit
slower paced as opposed to the hot sculpt yoga, because the slower paced yoga allows you to be with your thoughts and be in your mind.
And it allows you to be without your phone and any distraction.
And that's really powerful because you're working on your mind instead of just your body.
I don't know if I want to be alone with my thoughts in my mind.
Why?
It's good for you.
I'm loving yoga lately because it allows me one hour with no social media, no distraction,
no work, no you.
You're a pest sometimes.
This morning you were such a pest.
I've never seen a better pest. Oh, I'm a pest.
Yeah.
So it allows me to be without the pest and I can just sit and think.
And I swear to God, more blog post ideas and more ideas to improve my business or my relationships or whatever it is have come to me in yoga.
I didn't used to be a fan.
I think I just need to practice more.
Yeah, it's a practice.
Yeah.
So, great.
You can come next weekend.
So, we're in the holiday season.
You're playing Christmas music way too fucking early.
No, I'm not.
I'm obsessed with it
i just played let it snow the rule is it can't happen till after thanksgiving your dad made up
that rule and i'm not gonna do what society tells me but that's a good rule because i'm gonna have
my own rule my rule is i start it when i want to start it and michael buble is on repeat honey
so get over it can't wait the dogs love it thanksgiving this week after everything thanksgiving can't wait for
the political debates around the thanksgiving table that'll be fun i just like drink champagne
in the corner and eat your grandma's noodles oh my god thanksgiving there's a lot of dynamics we
always say there's like the ted talker the honey doer and the person
that's crying for attention like there's all different kinds of dynamics at the table
and you kind of have to just go in with an open mind and accept the dynamics because everyone has
them we go to our parents place we go to my parents place her parents place there's always
somebody there that we have no clue who they are. Yeah, you always have one of those.
Always.
Yeah.
And then there's always somebody that loses it.
Always someone that loses it, gets too drunk.
Yeah, there's always different kinds of dynamics,
and you kind of just have to embrace it and go into it.
Your dad makes us hold hands around the table and close our eyes.
Michael.
Which is awkward.
I know he does. I always end up holding your brother's hand.
It's awkward to tell him. We're both looking at each other. We don't want to hold hands. I always peek an eye open, too. michael which is awkward i always have to i always end up holding your brother's hand it's
awkward to tell him we're like both looking at each other we don't want to hold hands i always
peek an eye open too i feel like you're eating turkey when everyone's holding hands no but see
i would never do that at my table but the rule is if you go to another man's table it's his rules
so yeah that is the rule thank god we're at your table brad because if it was mine we wouldn't
why don't you cook thanksgiving dinner for once why don't I not? What are you doing on Wednesday? You're so excited
about it. I am? What am I doing Wednesday? Dax. Oh, yeah, yeah. We're watching The Nephew, you know.
We're watching our nephew and our godson. Yeah, I'm the godfather. Oh, God. You guys,
he walks around saying he's the godfather. So for Thanksgiving, my sister's coming down on
Wednesday. We're going to do some cooking. We'll be Snapchatting it. We're going to bake a pumpkin
roll, which is our favorite. If you haven't tried a pumpkin roll, Google it and make it for
Thanksgiving. Everyone will love you. It's kind of hard to roll, but you love it. Yeah. It's one
of your favorites. It's one of my favorites. I just tell him it's one of his favorites and he
agrees. I'm not a big sweets guy, to be honest. Really? No. You don't like my pumpkin roll? No, it's all right.
I mean, it's great. It's okay. It's not great. It's okay. No, just kidding. That's from Cloverfield
Lane. No, it's good. Oh, okay. I thought you loved it. So you're going to watch Dax. Have you seen
John Goodman in Cloverfield Lane? Yeah, I didn't love that movie. Okay. So after Thanksgiving,
it's time for us to kind of hit the ground running with work.
Back to reality.
We've been distracted for two months.
Yeah, it's time to get going again.
I'm getting fired up again.
New Year's starting.
No more crying.
No more whining about the wedding.
It's time to go.
Time to go.
We have a couple exciting things coming up that we're excited to share with you guys.
So we'll definitely be updating you on the podcast.
We're going to get my dad on here next week.
Right after this, we're jumping in the car, heading to LA, then coming back the same day.
We've got a few meetings up there.
And we're going to take Steve to dinner for his birthday.
Yeah, so with that...
Everyone loves Steve, by the way.
Did you know that?
Yeah, Steve's great.
Steve's amazing.
He's getting overwhelmed because people are reaching out to hire him and he's getting
anxiety.
Yeah.
Steve, just calm down.
It'll be all right.
Yeah, Steve, drink a shot of karma.
Now that we're back on track, we can get the tips of the week going again.
You can go first, honey.
My tips, like it's really simple this week and it comes from my dad who's been married
to my mom for over 30 years.
I don't know how.
I love both of them, but I don't know how they've been married so long.
Why?
It's not weird to say.
Why?
It's a long fucking time.
You're going to be married for 300 years.
Okay.
Well, what he says goes something like this.
Okay.
When you absolutely have to say something, don't.
So like what you just said, you shouldn't have said that.
No, no, no.
This is why I'm giving the advice now. Okay. When you absolutely have to say something, don't. So like what you just said, you shouldn't have said that. No, no, no. This is what I'm
giving the advice. When you absolutely have to say something, don't. So when you're like during
a petty fight, when you're in a fight with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you're screaming at each
other. When you're having a bout of anger, if you're sad, upset, and you're screaming and
arguing with somebody, if you have to prove a point, if you have to prove somebody wrong,
when you absolutely have to say something, don't. More than likely, you're going
to say something that makes the problem worse, hurts yourself, hurts the other person, makes you
sound foolish. Instead, just take a deep breath, bite your tongue, relax. I need to take this
advice a little bit more. You need to take the advice a little bit more. No, you need to take
the advice. Yeah, so I'm giving everybody everybody out there when you absolutely have to say something don't that's my tip all right my
tip is way cooler we're gonna talk about pumpkin okay so a reader recently introduced me to pumpkin
for the dogs i'm talking about like pure organic canned pumpkin you can buy it at like whole foods
so pixie and boone my chihuahuas go crazy for it so make sure it's the canned pumpkin. You can buy it at like Whole Foods. So Pixie and Boone, my chihuahuas
go crazy for it. So make sure it's the canned pumpkin. Like I said, it's loaded with fiber and
the body converts it to vitamin A. Canned pure pumpkin is good for the dog's weight and urinary
health too. Just make sure you guys don't give them too much because it can be super toxic. You
just want a couple teaspoons a day and you're golden. I like to put it on top of their food. Like I said, I buy BPA free cans from Whole Foods, tiny little scoop
in their dish. You're good to go. Sometimes I even let them lick a spoonful of the pumpkin
after a walk and they go crazy. Yesterday I took like a raw chicken treat and I coated it in
pumpkin, like a cupcake and gave it to them and
they just they just love me way more than michael because of it so try it yeah that that'll be the
day what those dogs are attached to my hip no all right my new pumpkin trick before we get into the
questions and i'm excited to get back into some questions from you guys because it's been a couple
weeks we're gonna take a quick break what would happen if a well-known Chicago news anchor
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What if he captured the real stories of the real passengers
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And what would happen if he aired those stories in a weekly podcast?
I'm Anthony Ponce, and I did that.
So download Backseat Rider at podcastone.com,
the Podcast One app, or subscribe at iTunes.
This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her.
We are back.
Had to give the dogs a little pumpkin so they like me better.
Back, back, back again.
All right, you guys, we have four questions today, or three.
Do we have four or three?
I think we have three.
Let's see how many we can get to before we have to jump out.
You guys have been sending in the most amazing questions, by the way, we were going through them and we're
like, wow, these are really, really good questions. Yeah. There's some really good ones. We're going
to, this one's going to, you know, a little bit more relationship this week. Still, we're going
to do a couple of business, but next week will probably be a lot of, uh, marketing and business
advice and blogging advice. So, all right. Question one would love to hear your tips on
wedding planning from both
you and Michael's perspectives. How'd you plan the wedding, Michael? Well, let me, let me just
take this off here as I started. Well, I first, no, I don't know. Lauren should probably lead
this one in. Well, Michael didn't do shit, which is fine. Cause I didn't want him to do shit. Cause
I love, love, love to do everything myself. My tips on planning a wedding were to
avoid Pinterest boards at all costs. I wanted our wedding to be anti-Pinterest. No mason jars,
no macaroons, no wood tables, no filet, none of that. I wanted just it to be 100% authentically
us. So I didn't even look at Pinterest. I didn't't look online I just kind of had this vision of like this
long long long table with all my friends and family at it with like black candles dripping
wax down kind of medieval gothic vampy I wanted the main kind of theme to be the black calla
which was on my invitation so it kind of led you up to it. And basically I would say our wedding
was just drama. That's what I wanted. Drama, different heights. And trust me, the only thing
that I, I stayed completely out of the aesthetics and the looks and the design. I didn't even come
near that cause I didn't want to get my head ripped off. And honestly, guys shouldn't be too
worried about that in my opinion. Um, but what I did worry about was I worried about the food and
the menu. I worried about the liquor, making sure everybody had enough liquor they did they did barely i made sure that
you know i wanted the music that was important to me and other than that you didn't do anything
other than that i didn't do anything and then i also made sure that we planned a hangover brunch
the day after the wedding which was fresh juices and we did like lavender mimosas and lemon mimosas. I had like pancakes and chocolate waffles and eggs and all
the kind of food you want to eat when you're hungover. I think it's really important to put
yourself in the guest's shoes. So the next day, you know, you're going to be hungover after a
wedding. So you want to make sure like you're doing something for them, whether that's a little goodie bag that they take home
that has a hangover remedy in it.
I just always am thinking how I would be if I were the guest.
This is for a destination wedding, though.
A destination or a normal wedding.
You can give a little goodie bag as they leave.
I think it's also really important to be self-aware.
No one wants to see a 48-minute first dance.
Let's get it quick. Let's do a first dance. Let's get it quick.
Let's do a good song.
Let's get to the point.
I was already half blacked out during our dance.
You don't say.
Yeah.
My ass was grabbed about 600 times.
Yeah.
We'll have to watch the playback.
Yeah.
We'll give you guys a video.
But I just think it's really important to be self-aware during the wedding.
The ceremony doesn't need to be three years long.
Make it funny. Make it light. Make it loving really important to be self-aware during the wedding. Like the ceremony doesn't need to be three years long. Make it funny.
Make it light.
Make it loving.
Like get to the point.
People want quick.
No one wants to sit there for 500 hours.
And, you know, some people don't want to sit in the sun either.
And if they're going to be sitting somewhere, get them a drink.
Just think of things that you would want and make sure it's implemented into your wedding, like tiny little details.
Well, I think this goes for anything too, not just weddings, but your business, your brand,
when you're marketing, when you're selling something. So many times people make the
mistake of thinking about themselves and what they want. And they make the huge mistake of
not thinking about what the consumer or the guests or the partner. We totally thought of
our guests as consumers. No, but people get a little bit,
they get self-absorbed and they stop thinking about what other people want. And I think that's
when you run into problems with anything. And we get it. It's your wedding. It's your wedding.
It's your wedding. We get that. However, I think that when everyone has fun, it enhances your
wedding. So it ends up really working for you and your mate. Yeah. No, if people aren't having fun, they're going to be downers.
And then you're going to feel bad.
And then you're going to be looking around at your five-course meal and your three-hour
long ceremony and be like, shit, maybe we shouldn't have done it this way.
I don't think anyone wants the five-course meal.
Personally, you guys might disagree with me.
For my guests, it wasn't on brand for my guests to have a five-course meal.
They wanted tacos. They want to guacamole. They wanted really good margaritas
with a ginger rim. They wanted, um, you know, quick dessert. No one wanted to watch us cut
the cake. Shoot me. This might be offensive to some people that have done it this way. I get it,
but I'm, I'm more trying to caution people that haven't done it yet just to really consider
these things. Cause I've been to weddings and now we've had a wedding.
So I'm speaking from some kind of experience.
Really think about your guests.
Think about providing everybody a really good time.
Think about not wasting people's time.
No, we didn't.
Our speeches had a limit.
Don't go longer than two minutes.
Get to the point.
And I think that we just really created a wedding that was very on brand for our guests.
So keep that in mind.
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All right.
Question two.
Do you guys ever fight?
No, we never fight.
Of course we fight.
What the hell?
Every couple of fights.
If they tell you they don't fight, they're lying.
Well, if they don't fight they're lying every well if
they don't fight that's boring yeah makeup sex is like the best thing ever i love a good fight
yeah that's the biggest thing is right when we get in a fight i look i think a few days later i was
like that's gonna be some good makeup i just wonder how long i should drag this fight out
the longer you drag it out the better it is i think with fights though yeah we fight of course
we live together we've been together for a long time. We work together. So fights are going to rise.
I like drama, too.
Yeah, Lauren's very dramatic, so we've got to play that.
I would say fighting is healthy and it's okay as long as it doesn't cross the line of being malicious, where you're trying to hurt the other person.
Lauren and I do our best to not cross the line and actually hurt each other.
We argue.
We bicker.
But we've had our big blast-out fights.
Like, don't.
Oh, yeah, for sure. But when you're with somebody don't don't go below the belt don't don't try to
pull punches out that you know hurt somebody when you're with somebody you kind of know the buttons
that push them the best or you know how to push their buttons the best and try not to push those
buttons because you can you can end up doing some serious damage to relationships.
So when you're fighting with somebody, understand like, okay, is this a healthy fight or is this an unhealthy fight?
And if it's unhealthy, you've got to really question the relationship.
I think fighting is great.
I mean, I love, I think you have to fight to love.
I mean, right?
Don't you think?
You must love me a lot.
Yeah, I think you need a little fight every once in a while. I also, right? Don't you think? You must love me a lot. Yeah, I think you need a little
fight every once in a while. I also think it releases energy. I think when you have pent up
energy and you're upset about something, a fight can release that. And I love a good release.
So I believe that the one thing that you should really consider when you're getting into a fight
is what I've been doing lately, is I step out of it. Like I'll go take a yoga class
or I'll go, you know, take a walk or I'll go call a friend. Like I'll get out of the fight so I can
gain perspective to come back with a really good rebuttal. Well, I think that's important. Yeah.
You're looking for the rebuttal for all the men out there. Let me just say this. Even if you win
the fight, you lose. Yeah. Just, I don't understand. What did you say in your vows about yes, dear. I said, I was going to start one of my vows. I said,
I'm going to start taking English classes again to learn the, uh, the words. Yes, dear. For some
reason, I have trouble putting those two together. Yeah. It's not that hard. Yes, dear. No, but I
think in any fight, whether it's your, with your spouse or your friend or your partner, employee,
whatever it is, you got to do your best,
in my opinion, to look at it from the other person's point of view.
I try to do that as much as I can. I'm not always the best, but I try to, you know,
if I'm fighting with Lauren, I try to look, okay, she thinks she's looking at this problem
from her eyes this way, and I'm looking at it from my way. And when you can do that and kind
of step in the other person's shoes and see their perspective, a lot of the time it takes the wind out of your sails and you don't feel like fighting
as much. I think it's, it's understanding and coming to a compromise. And I say compromise
because don't pinch me. I'm not pinching you. I think compromise is important. It can't always
be one person's way or the highway. It has to be a compromise. It has to be a partnership.
You got to come to a
middle ground. So yeah. And by the way, if you guys are asking what we fight about, I would say
the number one thing Michael and I fight about is that we're both very dominant. You don't say
we, we have very strong opinions. Mine usually wins. No, you're dealing with two type a
personalities type in different ways though
yeah type in different ways but i think sometimes people who know who know us uh well looking from
an outside in they would say oh wow these guys really get after it but it's just it's the way
we communicate sometimes it's not we can no we we are so intense and then we we move on very quickly
that's another thing we do like if we're upset at each other we are able to move on very quickly. That's another thing we do. Like if we're upset at each other,
we are able to move on very quickly.
And people think that,
some people might think that's strange.
Like people will be like,
but you guys were just like had a huge blowout
and we're like, no, we're fine.
Don't hold onto grudges.
And here's the thing.
If you have gotten in a fight
and you've made up and apologized,
don't later on go back and bring up that same fight.
You're wasting everybody's time. You're wasting your time. You're wasting whoever you're fighting with time. If you
say sorry and you move on from something, don't go back. Little things we fight about are you not
taking your shoes off in the house. It's not that hard. I like literally the only thing you have to
do is take your shoes off in the house. He continues to walk on the carpet with his shoes.
I continue to put the carpet cleaners on your credit card and what else little things we fight about we fight about uh time efficiency being on
time efficiency we fight about michael likes a very strict plan like what a bore and i'm more
like go with the flow see what happens kind of person like my favorite thing is when i lay out
a plan and we execute on it and it's like let's say we're traveling or something and it's just
like and i map it out and time it and it nails the time i get so pumped up on what a bore we also
fight about what else do we fight about me maybe on my phone computers in bed computers in bed um other than like what like i feel like what else no we've
got i think we've gotten better over the years we had a blowout about a week ago it was like a fun
one though it was not a fun one it was let me just tell the story uh we're supposed to sleep in other
rooms the night before the wedding and so lauren got me another room and i
got a room and she got a room right before the wedding and she leaves in a golf cart and she's
you know we've had a couple drinks at this point you don't say and she loses her mind and like no
because i thought that you had left me at the bar the night before our wedding but you literally
left the bar i know but that's why it's funny because I was actually... So she goes over
high hell searching for me,
searching around the hotel, yelling after me.
I was hiding behind a tree
at one point because we're not supposed to see each other.
She was looking for my
room. My friend CJ saw her
coming. He dove into the bushes, was hiding
from her. No, I was on
a mission. And here's the thing. I was wearing
a gold dress like Sharon Stone in Cas casino with a ponytail and i was just feeling like i was feeling myself i was
feeling like a vixen like a psycho and i needed to like embrace the character so long story short
you're not supposed to sleep with the your soon-to-be wife before the wedding we more than
slept together that night before we failed we didn't need those two rooms. Whatever though. We like to do things non-traditional. So you guys know I spend a ton
of time researching beauty with the Skinny Confidential. Talk the good, the bad, the ugly,
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Okay. Third question. How do you turn your ideas for blog posts into rich content with a purpose?
And how should you decide what your purpose or call to action is in the beginning? The call to action is great, but I don't fixate on the call to action.
I think that I'm starting to see where bloggers are going wrong is they're fixating on the call
to action, the sale, the transaction. I think that it's important to write a blog post thinking of the
person that's reading it in mind. So for instance, if I'm writing about what I'm wearing, like there
has to be more meat to it. I need to, and I've said this before, I need the reader to leave with
some kind of value other than what my outfit is. So every blog post I write, I try to write in a
way that gives back to the reader.
And it doesn't always have to be a call to action or a transaction or something that
makes them buy some things.
I like just giving people value and information without asking for anything in return.
Where I get like uncomfortable is, and I've talked about this in the past, is like two
years ago, I had to do a sponsored post and it was way too selly. And it made me really uncomfortable to the point where I was a miserable cow.
Like, I don't like asking, asking, asking, asking from the readers. I like to give, give, give.
And then, like, my cell phone case company came out, and I really spent a lot of time creating
each cell phone case for the reader in mind. And I'll present that,
but I don't want to push it on them. Well, here's, here's, in my opinion,
here's the biggest problem. A lot of people are looking for a purpose of the, for their content
for themselves, like the purpose to serve themselves. I think the best content in the
content that does the best and last the longest and engages people the most is purpose to help whoever
the reader or end user of that content is. And if, if, you know, if I was to do a post or a blog
post, I would purpose my content to try to help somebody else give them value without any
expectation of getting value back for myself immediately. I think a lot of times, you know,
people try to write content that's going to give them an immediate benefit right off the bat. And I think that's the wrong way to do things.
It's just like when you write a book, you don't write a book just for yourself. You write a book
for, you know, to serve somebody else. And so I think when you're purposing your content,
you have to ask yourself two questions. First, how is this content going to help somebody else?
And second, how am I going to get this content in front
of that person so that it can help them? Yeah. So that plays into the marketing thing.
I think that there's really, really great content right now and just not mediocre content. And I
think what's going to start to happen is that the people that are writing content for the right
reasons and providing value are going to kind of go higher, higher, higher. And the people that are writing content just for a sale or just for themselves are just going to kind of stay at the
bottom. Well, we've gotten, you know, with the internet, it's gotten very, very transactional.
People are looking for the immediate return on investment, the immediate sale, the immediate,
you know, the ROI. And I think that a lot of people are getting away from branding
and they're getting away from creating real value. And we talked about this a lot when you're
starting out, don't be so fixated on creating content. That's going to help you focus on
creating content. That's going to help others. And if you think like that free for free, and if,
if you think like that, you know, don't sell your ebook, don't sell your, you know, your plan, don't sell your product. Just, just think about what content
is going to help somebody out. And if you think like that for a year, two years, it'll end up
paying off. The problem is, is people get impatient and they start purposing their content to help
them and only them. And people can see that and they can smell that. And then it, it turns them
off. So when you're, when you're purposing your content, think about the end user. And as for the call to action, think of a call to
action that's going to get that user's attention where they feel like they're going to get some
value for themselves and it's not a value for you. I totally agree with you. I saw something that was
so smart the other day that Kim Kardashian did. And I think that this kind of plays into this question.
So Kim Kardashian does a really good job of providing free content in ways that people
don't see that, that, that shows value. So on her app, she provides a lot of, I think,
I think it's $2.99 a month, but she provides a lot of content. And then once she provides
that content, she uses that to propel herself to launch a product. So the other day I saw she provided a free video of how she does her makeup. It was her at
home. It was 10 minutes. She's in her bathroom. She's doing her makeup. She's showing us all the
products she uses and she's giving us free content that just shows exactly what she's using. And then
if you catch it in the video she says says that she puts highlighter on. And then what
she says is so smart. And this is, I think this is strategic of her is she says, you know, I'm not
going to show you guys what highlighter I'm using because something's in the works and I'm really
excited to show you. And she moves on to the next product. So to me, that shows that she's about to
launch a highlighter line for makeup. And I think Kylie Jenner is the same way. What she did, you
know, on, on Snapchat with her, with her makeup is she basically showed us all these different tips and tricks for
makeup and then she launched her product. So the Kardashians are really smart in the sense that
they give a lot of free value and tips and tricks and then they'll launch something.
People forget that the formula is give, give, give, give, and then ask without expectation,
without expecting to get something back.
You know, people get mad because they give, give, give, give, and they ask and nobody
gives anything back.
That's the market, right?
Like if people don't decide to give something back, you can't get upset about that.
The formula is still give, give, give, give, and then ask.
And hopefully when you ask, you get something back.
And if you don't move on and start give, give, give again until it works, that's how it is. And I see, and I say this a lot,
I see a lot of top bloggers not answering questions or responding to emails. My number
one priority for the day is to respond to my emails, to respond to my comments, to talk to
the readers and the people that like the skinny confidential on Snapchat and Twitter and engage.
And it's not because I feel like I have to do it.
It's because that's what I love.
I love to engage.
And it's not about making a transaction or making a sale.
It's just about providing value and engaging.
All right, you guys, we got to three questions.
We will save the other question for next week with my dad.
I can't wait.
That should be interesting.
Yeah, my dad's fun.
Make sure you guys send in your
questions to Instagram or Twitter using
the hashtag AskHimAndHer or email us
at podcast at the skinnyconfidential.com
And have a happy
Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. Eat a
lot of turkey, a lot of cranberry sauce.
Drink champagne. Don't get into too many
arguments with family members.
Don't get into too many political
debates. Alright guys, check you next time. Oh, God. Don't get into too many political debates.
All right, guys.
Check you next time.
We're out.
Thanks for listening to The Skinny Confidential, Him and Her, with Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic.
Download new episodes every Tuesday at PodcastOne.com or subscribe now on the Podcast One app.