The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - #4: Working With Your Significant Other, Managing and Delegating, Defining Roles, Jet Lag, and Eating Healthy, #askhimandher Episode 4

Episode Date: March 29, 2016

On this episode we talk about How to work with a significant other, managing and delegating, defining roles, jet lag and adjusting to different time zones. We also give the rundown on how to get your partner to eat healthy, and working through parts of your business that you loathe. This episode covers a lot of ground.  To learn more about The Skinny Confidential visit the site HERE To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE

Hello everyone and welcome back to episode 4 of the Skinny Confidential Him and Her podcast. It's me, Michael Bostic, your main host for the day. And we are ready to launch. We are climbing the ranks of the business category podcast. What are we hitting today? Number 40 in the world. 40 in the world. I am gunning for number one.

Get ready to get out the way. I feel like we're going to go down, though, after that radio voice that you just presented. That was my... We dropped 10 points. No, no, that just raised us. I'm probably at 30 now. We're back. Lauren Everett's here from the Skinny Confidential.

We got Jordan Bostic. She is on the question. She made it on camera for the first time. Now everyone knows I'm not a myth. I exist. So if you're listening and you're driving in your car, you'll have to check out the YouTube video because you can finally see Jordan.

Unfortunately, Taylor did not get to make a cameo. He's still in the background. We still have him hidden behind the scenes. He's eating pretzels. He's crunching away. Yeah, hopefully you don't hear him crunching. Yeah. Well, let's talk more about YouTube.

We just recently, for those of you who just only listen, or those of you who have not been able to listen, we put it now on YouTube. Every episode is on YouTube. We film every episode on camera, and then we pull the audio and put it on iTunes for the podcast. No editing. There's no editing.

We just go through the whole thing, right? It's quick. Yes. Right? No, yes. In the very first episode, we had to redo the whole thing because Lauren came in like Barbara Walters. No, I didn't.

That's not true. And halfway through, she goes, cut, cut. No, I didn't. And I said, what the hell are you talking about? There is no cuts. We're in the middle of the show. I thought we could edit a couple of things. But we can't.

So anyways, if you go on YouTube, we're looking for some interaction there um we will start responding to the comments so you can also ask your questions there also really important to subscribe subscribe subscribe subscribe we got um we're on itunes to subscribe to you want to follow us along on twitter using the hashtag ask him and her to send your questions in and then rate us and review us. And we will be so happy. We are really pushing this podcast. It's really important to us. It would mean the world if you subscribed. And if you give a bad review, make sure you take a picture of your face so that I can take it seriously. Because if not, I assume you are just a bridge troll hiding under a bridge. Okay. All right. And we are ready to get into the show. How about this weekend?

What did we do? We went to L.A. L.A.? I'm starting to hate L.A. more and more every time I go there. Yeah, you are the worst in traffic. Like, I've never seen worse. You complain the entire time we're in traffic as if the traffic's going to magically go away. L.A. traffic is bad, though.

It is horrible. L.A. traffic's the worst, and it's getting worse. I don't know where everyone's going. I don't even think they know where they're going. I mean, it's insane what's happening over there. We could do an Uber helicopter. Have you heard about that? You can Uber a helicopter?

Yeah, we can do that a couple times, and then I will also be living under a bridge. So we went to LA. We went to a bridal event, was interesting I still I'm not like fully into the wedding thing um I can't get into the dress thing I tried one on and it just was like you can't even take me seriously you're laughing well it was it was rough because we were it was rough we were in front of the designer and she brought me in and said how does this look and to me she looks not ideal no it's just it's when you say not ideal that makes you sound like a dick which which you definitely are sometimes but i it was more of like an umbrella

that was like covering my entire body it was like pretty dreadful it just it just wasn't it wasn't what we're going for i don't know it wasn't what i'm going for what are you going for tell everyone what you're going for so everyone can know what you like. Like something that has a little bit of sex appeal. You like fitted. Like backless. Okay. I mean, what guy doesn't? He's very opinionated when it comes to that.

So maybe we'll put a wedding dress on him and I can micromanage him. So we went and we did the bride thing on Friday for like five minutes. You hung out with Stanley. We hung out with Stanley. Stanley's a giraffe at Malibu Farms. No, Malibu Wines. We went to Malibu Farms after. I get him confused.

Stanley lives with a llama, right? No, a camel. Okay, I get llama. We're not on a farm, and we're not with llamas. We're in Malibu Wines, and it is a camel. A mean camel. But it is kind of a farm, because there's a giraffe. It's more of a camel. A mean camel. It wasn't a mean camel. But it is kind of a farm because there's a giraffe. It's more of a ranch.

The giraffe's tongue was literally as long as Michael's leg. It was this long tongue. It was creepy. It was a little creepy. It was creepy, but you wanted to just look at it. It creeped me out. It was like a snake that came out of its mouth. It was so much longer than I would have expected. Like, you picture a giraffe's tongue. It is, imagine that times 10.

Like, it is long. Yeah, it was a long tongue. We had, um. I mean, what do you expect? I mean, the neck is, the neck's like eight feet tall. Why would you expect it to have a small tongue? I don't know. Kind of weird, right?

The tongue was just like really insane. Anyways, that's a whole different subject we're really nailing some topics right now okay we didn't even mention that it's michael's birthday today it's michael's birthday i'm pretty much dead happy birthday one year closer to death what i got for michael today as a little like stocking stuffer birthday gift for the morning was an eyebrow brush. So he can brush his eyebrows up, because for the last 29 years, his eyebrows have been brushed down, so he can finally be awake on his 29th birthday.

Apparently I look like I've been asleep for the last 29 years, but I'm not, I'm here. Every guy needs these, guys. See, you guys gotta watch the YouTube channel, because I'm showing it to the camera. It's this little eyebrow brush, you can get it on Amazon. I got a pack of 50, and I'm giving them out to all my guy friends for their birthday.

I just feel like I'm doing something really nice. Before the show, Lauren was going around brushing everyone's eyebrows. Taylor may need a couple. Taylor's waving his eyebrow brush around in the back so you guys could see him. So yeah, that was the starter of the birthday. And then tonight we're going to do a dinner for Michael with his parents and his sister and her boyfriend. And with that, we'll get off that topic and go into the show. Let's get into the show.

Jordan, take us away. Okay. So anti-birthday. We have some great questions. If you want to send in questions, send them on Twitter using hashtag Ask Him and Her. And we will pick the best ones so let's get right into it well now you can also comment on the YouTube videos and we'll look for questions there I have Danny and Taylor combing the comments and I'll be responding and so will

Lauren and then you can also anytime you can uh you can snap us in questions too Lauren and I like when we get some Snapchat interaction we love Snapchat interaction but I never want to screenshot the comments because I feel like I look like a creep. I don't mind looking like a creep at all. I will screenshot. Okay, well,

Michael, you've been screenshotting. You've been emailing me. Yeah, so if you send me a Snapchat question, I will screenshot it and send it to Jordan and it'll probably

get featured on the show. Yeah, and I'm a creep. Okay, all right. Okay, first question. At Ev Castillejojo hopefully I'm saying that right um she asks hey lauren and michael how do you work with your boyfriend slash girlfriend what do you think is important in order to avoid ruining the relationship wow you're gonna let me start go ahead the ahead. I think that if you're going to work together, you have to constantly remember it's like a dance.

So when you dance with someone, like if you're going right, the other person has to go left. So working together is like a constant dance. I mean, Michael and I, he's more focused on the business end. I'm more on the creative side. So it works really well. However, that does not mean that we haven't had our disagreements, our fights. In fact, I would say like 95% of our fights are about business. You know, I'll make him dinner and he comes home and we're still talking about business. You have to, you have to learn to shut it off. And it's been a work in progress.

And from there, I'll let you take it off, how it's been a work in progress. I think the question is about how to protect a relationship working together, right? Yeah. And I think the number one thing that needs to happen when you're going to work with your significant other and you're going to run a business together is you need to define your roles. So I know when Lauren's being creative, I'm not going to step into that creative process and start giving my direction, right? Because that's going to be a huge mess. I'm not the creative behind

this. I'm creative in other ways, more on the business side. So as long as you define roles, like it'll be fine. I don't, basically you need to Basically, you need to say, look, if I'm responsible for, say, the financial side of this business, Lauren stays out of that. She lets me handle it. I mean, she knows what's going on. I bring her up to date, but she stays out of it. If Lauren's involved in the creative side and she's responsible for design or whatever else goes into that process, I'm out of that process.

You do summaries. You'll give me a summary. Yeah, I'll give feedback. She'll give feedback. But we stay out for the most part of roles that are not our responsibilities. I think that's step one. Lauren's not just begging you to jump into QuickBooks every day. Yeah. That's QuickBooks. Yeah. I think step two is you really need to define a space where business is not being talked about or had, you know, I have a rule. Sometimes Lauren

doesn't listen to the rule, which leads to some arguments where there's no computer in bed. I mean, I think the bed is a space where it's meant for two things, sleeping and sex, really. Like, you know, there's no, there shouldn't be work in there. If you bring work into your bed, you're going to have a huge problem. It takes the intimacy. It takes the intimacy out of the bedroom. Yes, it does. It definitely takes the intimacy out of the bedroom. So I would have boundaries if you're going to work together and just know that it is a work in progress. You will not get it perfect right away. It takes a lot of patience, time, effort. I think like anything, practice makes perfect. Keep practicing it. Keep doing it.

And you'll start to really know how to dance and what ticks the other person off and what doesn't and how to handle them. And just be kind and have respect. Do you think that people also have to kind of like not take everything personally when it's related to business? Oh, we have a huge issue with this because I speak very bluntly and I think, you know, even with Taylor, I've told him multiple times, I said, hey, when I'm doing business, don't take any of this personally. Business is personal, but it's never a personal attack on somebody. I'm just trying, when I'm doing business, I'm trying to get from point A to B in the most effective way possible. And sometimes, you know, emotions are flying high that business

is an intense sport, probably the most intense sport in the world. And, you know, sometimes people's feelings get hurt, but you can't take everything personally in business. If you do, you're going to set yourself up for failure. You're going to set yourself up for a rough time. I mean, you know, you guys both know. I can be intense. I mean, you know. Yeah, a little bit. That's the understatement of the year. All right. Well, moving right along. What's the next question, Jordan? At adulting daily asks Michael and Lauren, what are your tips on how to adjust to different time zones while traveling, especially if your flight is early in the morning? I'll let you go first on that one.

Well, for me, I look at traveling, like I consider myself a professional traveler. Like I get in the zone. I don't know if any of you have ever seen one Snapchat, but when I go, I go like, I don't know what it is, but I get like an adrenaline rush going to the airport. Like I'm about to go in the arena. Um, I think you just, you just gotta let your, you just gotta tell yourself, look, this is the reality of the situation. We just took a flight to New York. We took the red eye. And when we landed, we had to go right into work, right? I mean, we landed at 6 a.m. there, which is 3 a.m. our time. And we had to just, we didn't have time to sit down and relax. I mean, she had a gig. We had to go right into work. At about eight that

day. So we had to get to the hotel and trust me, she was grumpy. Yeah, I'm very grumpy if I don't get my sleep. I believe sleep is the key to everything. Beauty, just everything. I feel like it cures everything. So I need my sleep. So time zones are weird for me. We had to work, I think we had to work a 14-hour day after we got off the red-eye.

The point though, right? Didn't you guys do two in a row? No, yeah, we did. It was gnarly. The point is what I always tell her and the hardest thing is if she's complaining about the time zone, I always say,

hey, look, we're in this situation. We're both in it. This is the reality. We don't really have an option. We can't get some sleep. I can't land somewhere and say, you know, we're used to California time. Just accommodate us.

Let's tell the Paris story. Remember the Paris story? Michael took me to Paris when we first started dating. And I had never been, I don't think I'd ever been to Paris. And he takes me there and I thought I could beat jet lag. I was fine. And remember you and your dad were like, get up. Well, let's talk about, let me circle back to the question and let's talk about how to beat jet lag.

Well, finish the story. Well, I will. I'm going to. Okay. So when you land in a new place and it's a different time zone, the worst thing you can do is give into your home time zone. Meaning if you land in Paris and you're tired and they're nine hours ahead. He does this all the time. Do not go and take a nap in the middle of the day because what's going to happen is it's going to have a lag time effect and you're going to be screwed for days. So what I do whenever I land in a new city and I'm tired, I get up and I take a walk. I could be walking for miles, but as long as I'm

adjusting to that time zone, it's fine. So anyways, Lauren decided that she did not believe in jet lag and that jet lag was not a real thing. I thought it was fake. And so she decided to take a few naps. I went off and took my walks. I was fine. And about three days into the trip, she goes, I'm fine. Everything's fine. Like, I don't feel anything. I don't know what you guys are talking about. Day four, five, and six, you were like a nocturnal bat. I was so tired. We might as well not even been on the trip. We might as well not have been on the trip. I was so tired. I couldn't keep my eyes open. And I'm one of those people that has to be woken up like a cat. I need to be pet. I want a water, a coffee.

I need slow bossa nova waking up. I want my candles lit. When I'm jolted awake, I'm like a serpent. Like I want to eat your face off. Have you guys ever heard that drinking helps? I've heard this thing that when you go to a new place, the first night you get there, you just drink a lot, and then you sleep it off, and you wake up on whatever time.

I actually don't think that's true, because if you remember, Jordan, me and you went to Spain a few years ago and decided to go out until 5 in the morning every night. And Jordan came out to help me with Jetbed, and we were working a convention in Switzerland and we decided that, Hey, we're just going to drink and stay on time zone and adjust. And we were a mess. So we've, we've actually learned that the hard way. You're right now. My memory is coming back. But anyways, to, to get to the, to get to the root of the question is

you have to power through it. You have to make your body adjust. You cannot give in to it. You just have to tough through it and recognize that this is the reality of the situation that you're in. You're in a different time zone. Time doesn't change for you. And just power through it. I mean, it takes a lot of discipline and willpower. Or do what I do and just sleep. Hold on. Is my mic okay? Yeah, you're good. Oh, you heard okay next question okay next question is from

julianne beard and she asks how do you eat healthy while living with someone who isn't into it my hubby is into like boxed mashed potatoes every day i'll make a super nutrient-packed tasty meal and he's iffy about it do you ever have this issue with michael lauren michael like did not eat vegetables when i first started eating which is really interesting to me because he has really great skin and hair and nails but he didn't eat vegetables i don't know but he didn't eat any vegetables. So what you have to do, and I have a chapter about this in my book, is you have to manipulate them in eating the way you want them to. And I do this in a lot of different ways, not just with eating. But let's start with like a green juice. So I would wake up and make a green juice, drink it down and like talk about how amazing it was and

how full I felt and my skin was glowing and oh this is so good it's so great I would walk around the house I would let the dogs try it and I would really just talk about how amazing I felt so then he said well let me try a sip and he tried to sip and he like oh I could drink that and he thinks he's all manly because he can drink a green juice and then the next day I poured him a little cup and then from there he's drinking a cup and then I would say wow you're getting all your greens in one drink you're so great like he was the all-star of the show so now he thinks that he has to have his daily green juice and he loves it right you love it yes but I'll add to this becoming it's a little bit more to that I think men don't

operate so much on emotion as much as women do I'm not saying that to be controversial men are just maybe don't

more logical they're more logical thinkers I think if you point out the benefits that this will have on him and not to do it

for you I think you would do like I know every morning like sometimes those green juices or those apple cider drinks, these apple cider drinks Lauren makes literally taste like pee in a jar. No, they don't taste like pee. They're amazing.

But I drink it. I drink it down. I drink the pee jar. No, you don't drink the pee jar. You are absurd. I know that there's a nutritional benefit for me to drink this thing, and I know somebody else is making it for me, so I look at it as like why the hell would I not drink if, even if I do have to rough through it a little bit,

like I'm done. It's just, it's just like going to the gym. Like, you know, sometimes I don't want to go to the gym, but I know it's good for me. So I'm going to go. Right. My boyfriend, Nico is actually really, really hesitant for this kind of stuff. And if your boyfriend is super hesitant, like what's, what I've noticed has worked for me is all, and starting with the green juice or green smoothie is the easiest because it's the morning. It's like,

everybody likes smoothies. So I'll make it and I'll just leave it for him and I'll just, as I'm leaving, I'm like, hey, I left you a green juice

in the fridge. And every time he drinks it when I'm not there. It has to be their idea. It has to be their idea. And also, if your husband's eating boxed mashed potatoes,

I don't even know. Mac and cheese. What are boxed mashed potatoes? Mac and cheese. Okay, what I would do for that is I would make a fresh baked potato box mashed potatoes. I don't even know. What are boxed mashed potatoes? Mac and cheese. Okay. What I would do for that is I would make a fresh baked potato and say, wow, this is so nice to eat the earth's vegetables instead of a box full of sodium and GMOs. I'm loving this real potato and eat your

real potato in front of him and smile while he eats his disgusting chemical filled boxed potatoes. Yeah. But if he wants some boxed potatoes here and there, let the man have his boxed potatoes. Don't take it away. Maybe hide it. Maybe trash it. There's a lot of things that get trashed. Okay. Did we answer that? Yes. Okay. Next question. Next is from at Aaron McKell and she asks how do you keep yourself accountable when working on the difficult parts of starting a new business that you loathe do you want to go do you want me to go you can go okay first there's never gonna if you if you're going to start a new business and you're going to take responsibility for the business like like you're the owner, you're the CEO, whatever your position is, and that's your business, there is inevitably going

to be some things about that business that you don't like. You may love the overall business, say that I want to put out iPhone headphones and that's my passion and that's what I'm going to do. I love the concept. I love the business. But inevitably in any business, there's things like accounting and there's things like balance sheets and there's advertising and there's employees and there's HR and there's a million other things. You're probably not going to like every aspect. So first, if you're just starting out and you don't have the capital to hire a lot of people and you know that you're not going to like something, you have one of two options. Either bring on a partner or a co-founder that does like that.

In Lauren's case, I like the financial side of it. I like the business side of it. So I came on and took on that role. Or you need to really just understand that this is a reality of getting the business done. You need to suck it up and just... Like when we started Jetbed, I did not like the QuickBooks side of it I don't

like doing account but I had nobody else it was just me in the office so I just had to buckle down I hired a part-time bookkeeper she came in and helped me learn the stuff and now I actually kind of like it but you just got to recognize that just because you don't like something doesn't mean it doesn't need to be done you have to either bring on a co-founder bring on an employee and delegate to it and when I say delegate that doesn't mean just offload a task. It means like over the shoulder delegation, or you need to buckle down and do it yourself. I mean, that's just, that's just how it is. Um, first of all, I don't like to do anything I love. I don't like to be uncomfortable. I don't like to do anything I hate. I like to be very comfortable. I'm just weird like that. Well, I guess that's not weird, but I always,

I don't like to do things that I'm not good at or that I hate. And so I'm a huge fan of delegation and I'm a huge fan of focusing on your strengths all the time. And that gets me in trouble sometimes because sometimes you got to do shit you hate.. But, so my advice would just be to really, really focus on your strengths, but at the same time, make sure you're delegating, like you said, over the shoulder to your employees, or an assistant,

or someone that can do it really well. But if you're just doing an overall job that you hate, I would recommend getting the hell out of there, and stop doing anything that you hate every single day because I'm telling you, anything that you hate doing day after day after day will end up a big fucking mess. No, I said this yesterday on Snapchat.

I said, if you're waking up on Monday morning, like, oh shit, it's Monday, then you need to quit what you're doing and do something else because- We bounced out of bed today. We had our podcast today. We're so excited to connect with you guys in this different medium. And we both bounced out of bed and we're so excited to do a podcast.

And I think Jordan, you're the same way. Yeah. Jordan loves what she does. Taylor's so excited. He's asleep right now. I'm just kidding. But we really, really love what we do. So we both woke up, we wake up every Monday with

vigor and excitement and ready to, to conquer the day. If you're not waking up like that on Monday, you need to sit back and examine what you're doing and examine how you can make changes. Because I noticed, and I don't know if this is like a generational thing, but people just think that something's going to pop out of the air and change. The only way things are going to change is if you change them yourself. So if you're doing shit you hate every day, I would really, really look into that. I would say this though. Peter Drucker, the businessman and author of Managing Oneself, he's also written a few other books on management.

He's a fucking guru. Says to only focus on your strengths and to not focus on your weaknesses. He says, you can exponentially grow and develop your strengths and you'll have a very, very difficult time growing your weaknesses. So if you are not somebody that's going to have a knack for accounting and it's a real struggle for you, maybe think about bringing on somebody to do that for your business. And you still need to pay attention to what's going on, but if that's not going to be your thing, don't waste time developing that strength

because you're never going to be great at that. I totally agree. Lauren, in the beginning when we first started doing this, I said, Lauren, you really need to be involved in the accounting, blah, blah, blah. She is to the extent where she knows what's going on in the overall picture, but I don't have her doing the books anymore because I realize that's just not her strength. She doesn't want to do it.

It's probably a waste of time. It's a waste of time. I would much rather have her focus on building her brand, providing great content, developing the new sites, and so on. So it sounds like finding your counterpart is almost very important. Yeah, well, I think... And it doesn't have to be your relationship. I think Jordan does a lot of things for the Skinny Confidential that I'm not good at, too.

Like, we're not in a relationship, but you work with me, and she does a lot of things that are maybe not, I'm looking for a word, like they're just very time-consuming, I guess. And it's stuff where I could be concentrating on building content and putting my creativity where it should be. And she's working on things that maybe don't need such micromanaging. I guess, though... And that's helped build the brand, too.

I guess, though, the question is she's just starting out and maybe doesn't have the funds to hire somebody. So I would really consider... Hire an intern. Interns are fantastic. Maybe a co-founder. Interns are amazing. Or maybe just-founder. Interns are amazing. Or maybe just keep the future in mind of one day you're going to have the finances to be

able to pay someone to do that and just like let that fuel you. Be like one day someone will be doing my bookkeeping. One day. And just keep going. Keep going for it. But don't duck away from tasks that need to be done in the business just because you don't like them. That's a formula for failure. Make sure everything is being given the attention that it needs.

All right. That is it. So if you guys want to send more questions in, tweet us at Lauren Everts, at Michael Bostic, hashtag ask him and her. You can also use the hashtag ask him and her on Instagram and make sure to subscribe on iTunes. Yeah, we want to get hired. Subscribe, subscribe, subscribe. And rate us and review us. Hopefully you're nice. And if you're not nice, leave us a picture so we can talk about it, right? So I can figure out that you're not a bridge troll.

Your full name, your social security number. Your address. Okay, we'll see you guys next time. Thank you so much for listening. Bye.