The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - #55: Email Etiquette, Speed Reading, and A Kick in the Ass w Taylor O'Connor aka "The Bare Naked Cucumber"

Episode Date: March 21, 2017

Taylor O'Conner aka "The Bare Naked Cucumber," joins Lauryn & Michael to give a recap of his two dates with Annabelle DeSisto of "Adderall and Compliments." The trio also gives a breakdown of proper email etiquette, tips on speed reading, and they discuss how you can uplift your significant other when they aren't living up to their full potential. To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn’s latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you’ll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

This episode is brought to you by the Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide. Okay, so if you guys don't know what the Bombshell Body Guide is, it's basically all my fitness, diet, nutrition secrets in one place. We just launched the Skinny Confidential latest meal plan and it's super anti-inflammatory. We threw in a lot of recipes with a lot of turmeric. We did some cauliflower, turkey, bacon, rice, which is incredible. Michael's actually loving it, which is surprising. Very surprising. And then we also have a pesto spaghetti squash. We have a strawberry beauty ice cream that's filled with herbs and just like a lot of quick, easy two second recipes that you can whip up when you're busy and running late.

And this is a lot of stuff that you used when you were swollen from jaw surgery, right? Yeah. So when I was swollen from jaw surgery, I had to eat a lot of foods that would keep the inflammation down. So you can count on me to be bringing you a lot of herbs and foods and drinks that will really keep the swelling down. So go to members.thespinnyconfidential.com and podcast listeners can use the code him and her at checkout for 20% discount. All right, let's get into the show.

The following program is a podcastone.com presentation. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her. Aha! So Michael is on timeout from introducing the podcast.

It's hard not to come in strong with intro. Yeah, we're done with that. Then I should do it. Oh, great. Yeah, so surprise, surprise. We have the Bare Naked Cucumber here today. I am Lauren Everett of the Skinny Confidential. And I'm Michael Bostic.

I'm a businessman, man. I always wanted to say that. What should I say then? I'm the Bare Naked Cucumber, bear in the lower regions. And, you know, I don't really, I mean, I could say, yeah, I know Michael. I work with Michael. I know Lauren, but that's so boring. So I need to come up with my slang. You are the razor burn master. For those of you who don't know, the gentleman to my left is Taylor O'Connor. He works with me for a long time. He has been on this show a lot in previous episodes. So if you haven't explored this unique personality,

I invite you to do so on some of the previous episodes. The number one that I think you should start with is the one, I think it's called, the episode's called, Flared Up, Razor Burned, and Out of Control. That would give you a very solid idea of who the individual to my left is. So basically the reason Taylor's called the Bare Naked Cucumber is because on like podcast episode five, he decided to announce that he shaves his whole southern region. We were officially creeped out that he would announce that on a podcast when we were only in episode five.

And then he decided to show me the top of his boxers, which was covered in bright red razor burn. So everyone got to experience that. And if you guys haven't heard it, just go back a couple episodes. I actually just did a clean shave the other day with the new razor and it was horrible. It took way too many passes. Well, I'm going to speed us right along so we don't have to go down this path again. So we're back this week again, as usual. I'm still a little bit rattled from last week's episode with the lady gang. Okay, but be real. You loved it.

No, I loved the episode, but I think I learned more than any man should ever learn about female anatomy, female body parts, females in general. And I'd be lying if I said it hasn't been difficult to wash some of the images out of my brain. Okay, but here's the thing about Michael. So many people were snapping me and commenting on my Instagram like, oh, we want to see Michael's face. Michael likes girls that are very upfront like that. You loved it. Yeah, I don't like little meager mice. No, you loved three women that were getting real real.

Listen. Secretly. I know a lot about the women in the female anatomy. You do not know shit. No, I'd much rather be in a room with three women and strong personalities than three men. Yeah, you had a lot of fun, and I feel like we will for sure have the lady gang back on. We talked about a lot of good shit. If you haven't listened, definitely go back. So I wanted to take some time real quick before we

get into this episode to mention that I think this is episode 55 or so. And we're still, we get a lot of questions and we love answering them, but there are a lot of old episodes that have answered a lot of questions that we're getting. So, you know, now that we're on episode 55, there are still some gems that we've done in the past. You can skip over flared up if you want. And yeah, all those episodes, the descriptions and the topics we covered, they're on the skinnyconfidential.com in the podcast section as well as iTunes. So definitely don't be shy. Go check those older episodes out and forgive us for the early episodes. We didn't put a lot of thought into audio.

We just kind of launched real quick, as some of you know. And yeah, so I just want to mention that before we get going and get caught up with Taylor, the bare naked cucumber. All right. So a lot of you guys know, if you listen to Adderall and Compliments, who's been on our podcast, Annabelle, that Taylor asked her on a date. So their first date was at the Beverly Hills Hotel in the Polo Lounge, and then they had a second date. So we kind of want to interview Taylor a little bit about these two dates he's been on, because we can't wait to hear all the juicy details. I want to know what the fuck happened. What's going on? Yeah, what's going

on? Well, date one, actually, I had never been to the Polo Lounge because I'm not from LA. So that was your guy's recommendation. And it was a a great restaurant actually. So we went to dinner and number one, I've never in my life been on a date with a girl that is such a, so witty, more or less. It's so different. Like the one thing I know is this, like with girls, a lot of, a lot of guys, if there's guys listening, which I think there are, they always say like, yeah, this girl has a good sense of humor. And that usually equates to a girl that laughs at guys jokes. But I think this is the first time I humor. And that usually equates to a girl that laughs at guys' jokes. But I think this is the first time I've ever actually been on a date with a girl that cracks jokes and makes me laugh. So most of the time, it was me laughing. Do you have any friends that are really witty?

I know this girl named Lauren Everett. She's hilarious. But no, it's definitely right up in par with that. So let's back it up here a little bit. I'm going to get detailed here. So you go, you follow instructions. We gave you instructions. You gave instructions.

And you take her to the polo lounge. How did you guys get there? Wait, wait, wait. We forgot to mention that we tricked Annabelle at first and told her, well, Taylor texted her and said that he made an 8 p.m. reservation at Sur, like the Vanderpump Rules restaurant. And she was excited for it. Lauren was like, oh, my God, she's going to go, oh, so embarrassed.

She was like, yes, I love cheese balls. I guess that's like a... I think she was trying to be polite, and you were sweating. Or maybe cheese balls is some sort of innuendo for that was cheesy. Okay, so he started the date out on an interesting note. Okay, go from there. So we basically shut the place down. We were there until 11.

The piano player was probably hating us because we just kept going and talking and talking and talking and talking, and we were the last ones there. So I think we were just that annoying, those two annoying people that just never leave and everyone's looking to get the fuck out of the restaurant. So date one was more or less the standard, typical, uh, you know, simple dinner date two, as I think was the most, that's, that's where the energy really goes is

because we actually went to Dave and Buster's and I don't know if anybody knows what Dave and Buster's is, but it's a, it's a, an arcade. It's like a playground for adults, but actually there's a lot of kids there too. So I guess it's for also. What did you drink at Dave & Buster's? It glowed in the dark. That's all I know. Ooh. It glowed in the dark. Okay. Yeah, that sounds like it was like a glow-in-the-dark condom or something.

No, I wasn't... I don't know why I would think that. That's disgusting. But... I want to know... This is all great. This is like the... You're basically just telling me the what happened.

I want to know the details. I want to know what feelings are going on. What the hell were you guys talking about at the polo lounge? How did she agree to go on a second date? I want you to give us details. Did you drug her? There's a lot of people that want to know how this is unfolding. I don't really care about the timeline of events.

I want to get deep here. I want to know your feelings. I want to know her feelings. No, I mean, she is an amazing girl. And I think as she'll know is it's the progression. Date one is date one's like the test of water. Date two is like, okay, like, yeah. And then date three and four is like where you is.

That's like the natural progression of more or less dating. Did you move in for the kiss or make a move on the first date? That's usually date three. Cause that's my, you know what my biggest fear is? Maybe you get a chubby. My biggest fear is where I would say that I, like on dates, it's like my number one thing that I'm terrible at is making the move. I think I went on a date with some girl,

and I think I went on five dates with her and never made a move. And I think she just bailed. And I kept thinking to myself, is she into me? Is she not into me? Is she into me? Is she not into me? Now I think, yeah, if you go on five dates with someone, I think you're kind of into them.

So did you do like that awkward, that kind of like pat hug where you kind of move in, but you get your face? It was like the awkward hug where we both go into the same side and end up like head butting each other. The big question is, I'm not sure if she's into me, but I'll tell you one thing that makes me think that I think she is, is I know that she's not a big drinker. If you listen to the first podcast, when she actually came on, she said that she doesn't drink ever. And I'm not someone to ever say, hey, pressure into a girl to drink

because that just sounds sleazy. Like, hey, come on. But you did. No, no, no. I did not. She actually was saying, she said if we can find drinks that don't taste like alcohol, like maybe like something a little kid would drink, that she would drink it. So you found her a glow-in-the-dark drink.

Yeah, so we drank these. I don't know. Hers had watermelon ice cubes in it, and she was chugging them down. I don't want to say chugging them down, but I think she may have outdrank me. Well, that's not hard to do. So, yeah, the fact that I'm able to maybe have a cocktail or two shows that I think that there's some interest. But back to Dave & Buster's. Number number one, Dave and Buster's is, it's insane. And this isn't,

I'm not trying to pitch Dave and Buster's, but if you want to feel like a king for a day or a queen, go to Dave and Buster's because it's amazing. Why is this? Why? Let's get, I need to hear the reasoning behind this because this, this is, this has got to be good. Let's, let's hear the reason. How can you feel like a king at Dave and good let's let's hear the reason how can you feel like a king at dave and buster well because no matter what you do you win or you don't win you win tokens or whatever so look at this way we left with we both have the same hat and it says winner so technically right now her and i are in the winner's circle and i don't i'm not going to be the loser more or less but oh you drank a glow-in-the-drink or glow-in-the-dark cocktail

she had watermelon ice cubes that you said she was chugging down her throat and you guys both left with a crown that says winner on it basically but they're so we're walking around you taking me there i'm surprised actually i think it'd be more it should be more popular i think everybody should go there yeah it's fun it actually is fun and it's something that you would as a young kid everyone likes arcades or games or like Discovery Zone or like Family Fun Center. It brought me back to being a young child. I almost wanted to, you know, run around and like jump in the ball pit with snot all over my face, like as a young kid.

Oh, I'm sure that if she's listening, that's going to turn her on. So we're back at Dave & Buster's. And when we first get there and we walk around, we make a lay of the land. I want to see where, you know, where the games are, what I'm going to beat her at, what I'm going to make myself look good. Let me pause this for a second. So you set out immediately to beat your date at Dave and Busters, which never makes anyone feel good. Nobody wants to lose at Dave and Busters. You force her to drink. This reminds me, one time, I don't know if you remember this, there was a girl, this was a long time ago,

and she reached out to you and she was not from San Diego and she'd never been around an area with a beach before and she was begging this guy, I really want to go to this one restaurant by the beach. Name the specific place.

I said, okay. I've never been to the beach. Never been to the beach. I said, boom, take her there. Easy, slam dunk. One and done. And what did you do? You decided to take her to your favorite restaurant. Inland. Wait, when was this? You blew it. I don't remember who this was. This was like three years ago.

There was a girl that wanted to go on a date with you. And you decided after she told you specifically that she wanted to go to a restaurant on the beach to take her to a restaurant that was inland in Chula Vista. I don't remember this. Anyway, I digress. So let's get back to you're about to beat your new date and Dave and Buster's. So basically, first we walk around, but there's a guy. Okay, so I don't know if any of you guys are familiar with arcades, but there's a game called Time Crisis,

and it's the games that have the toy guns connected to it. Anyways, there's the guy has both players. He's playing both players, but he also has two holsters that he probably bought from some like gun store. And he's putting the toy holsters in, in the holsters and he's playing both player one and player two. And he's dancing around shooting. People are, you know, filming him. We walk, we walk by whatever doesn't catch our eye. We're yeah, he's into it. Anyways, we come back hours later. This guy is drenched in sweat. He's got both guns still in the holster. She's like dancing, winking at girls. This guy looked like, are you sure that wasn't you? No, it wasn't me. But I actually, I told her like, listen, this guy's stealing my thunder. And she actually said, listen,

if you go to the bathroom and I'm gone, it's because I'm with him. So this guy was slaying and people were Snapchatting him and he was good. I mean, I actually, I think realistically, I didn't look nearly as good as he did, but. I want to, this is all great, but I want to know, is there any kind of physical contact going on with you two here? Or are you just walking around Dave and Buster's with glow in the dark drinks and watching other people play games? No, of course you can. I have a crown that says winner.

I want to know, like, where's the intimacy? I want to get down to the juice. Are you holding hands? There was a time when I, like, she was going to put the quarter in, and I, like, went and our, like, hands touched at the same, you know, we touched our quarters both, like, Did you give her the quarters, or did you make her use her own quarters? That's actually a credit card. It's like a credit card thing.

This sounds like the most awkward date in the world. No, it's actually not. I'm just really bad at describing dates. Don't say. The one game that she did beat me on, she's actually really good. But actually, listen, I didn't tell her this there. She thought she won, but I'm going to be honest. So the only reason she won is because she was blocking the hole with both hands, which is technically a disqualification. She thought the date was good. That's kind of like an analogy for the date, blocking the hole with both hands. So yeah, we're playing air hockey and there's two things, but you're supposed to, you know, the little slot that the balls go into, wink, wink.

So anyways, the, I couldn't get the, she was like, oh, I beat you. But the whole time I wanted to say, you know, you were cheating the whole time because she had both, what are they called? She's really going to want to go on date number three with you after this. Both plungers blocking the hole. Yeah, Annabelle, if you're listening, you didn't really win. You lost at everything that night. You shouldn't have had the winner crown.

Taylor should have worn two. No, but that's why I'm such a good date. It's because I actually let her think that she beat me. But then you come on a podcast and talk about that she didn't beat you. Well, I guess you're right. Maybe I should have said that. You know, I can't really blame you for wanting to win because, you know, for some of you that listen and all three of us at this table, there's been an ongoing debate about a fitness competition between Taylor and yours truly.

And for a long time, you've been talking a lot of shit thinking that you could win or that you had a chance. And we put it to the test today at the beach, and I fucking demolished you. I'm going to be really honest here. I actually thought you had a chance. I was really disappointed. I told you today when you got there, I said, you really need to step it up. I need you to beat Michael. And you were game.

You started running in the warmup and you said that you couldn't do it and you need to take a break. Okay. Let me back this up. This I'm not, I'm not a morning person. So we're training out by the beach. 10 30 AM. Yeah. It's basically like, no, it was like six in the morning. No, it wasn't. It was 10 30 AM. Okay. Whatever. 10 30. He's not an afternoon person guys. So the workout itself was insane. I'm not even joking. What I thought was a majority of the workout was just the warm-up. They're like, okay, the warm-up's done.

I'm thinking, are you fucking joking me? I'm ready to go home now. You turned green. You matched your shoes. You complained the whole entire time. You talked about how you've never done cardio. You talked about your endurance. You told me you couldn't do it. You told me you needed a breather. You told me you needed a sip of water.

I've never met someone that complains more during a workout. Yeah, man, what competition do you want to do with me? Checkers or what? Okay, so I went in there like, yeah, we'll just have like a friendly workout. But now I guess if had I known that this was for the, we were going to use this for the competition, I would have been a whole different scenario. I would have walked in there and said, listen, I'm going to give it my all. I gave it like, you know, 70% of my effort. If that was 70% of what you have to give, you might as well give 400% because you ain't catching up, buddy. Well, also, I must say that the actual workouts, there was no breaks. Every time we did one thing and I thought, okay, cool, now I'll get a cool down. It was like Every time there, we did one thing and I thought,

okay, cool. Now I'll get a cool down. It was like, all right, we're going to go do something else. And it was like a workout. So because you're ashamed of yourself that you can't beat your good friend, Michael over here, you have to go take dates to Dave and Buster's and just demolish them on the skim ball court. That's right. I actually feel like a winner, but I actually, I'm not going to lie when during the workout, I felt like I was going to throw up like 60% of the time. Yeah, you were turning green. You shouldn't have had that moons over hammy from Denny's before you went. The best workout I liked is when I laid on the grass and did nothing. Okay. So we're going to work out next Saturday and you're going to be there. What was it that, oh, don't I get to hang you upside down and throw like cabbages. But that's the official one, which I,

I still think we will, but I don't, I don't, I kind of digress on the, maybe we should do the Navy. Can I invite Annabelle to come and throw cabbages and stuff at you when we do it? I've seen her do skee ball. So she's actually pretty good. So I think she'd be able to hit me in the head. So back to Annabelle. So you guys go, when's the third date? If there's a third date. So the third date, I actually, I was thinking, currently I'm drawing a blank on what to do because after you go to Dave and Buster's, no matter what, it's going to be, you know, shitty.

Why don't you ask me? Lauren, what would be a good idea for the third date? I think you should bring her down to San Diego. I know what you should do. You should just go in the boxing ring with her and just smash her in there too. Maybe you should bring her on a workout next Saturday. You know what's funny is...

Why don't you take her to court and just beat her ass there as well? No, it's not about winning and losing. It's about... Yes, it is. You wore a winner's crown. No, we both did. That's what I mean. We won as a team.

Actually, realistically, it was most of the time she was... All the quarters went to her as she would just repeatedly die in the game. You could challenge her to the American Ninja Warrior course and just take her to town. What is the competition at Vegas, like where they do the acrobatics and it's insane and people from all over. Cirque du Soleil? No, no, that's the thing. You can't do a warmup on a Saturday at 1030. I don't think you can do Cirque du Soleil.

No, I'm not talking about Cirque du Soleil. I think, is it called the Warrior? Maybe it is the Warrior Training one where it's like televised and they run over the water. I don't remember that, but here's the thing. I think you should bring her down to San Diego. I think you should take her down to La Jolla and have a nice little margarita at Piotti's. Have a little crack sauce. You know, I love that crack sauce at Piotti's. And walk her around on the beach. Make it mellow. And maybe do a couple workouts before then because I was not impressed with today.

So if you guys have any ideas for Taylor's third date, let us know on the Skinny Confidential. You can comment on any post. Give us some ideas. I feel like he needs a little help. Help me. Okay, before we get into the him and her tip of the week, I want to mention a brand that I have been talking a lot about lately.

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so then we're up there recording these podcasts for you guys. I have an assortment of different things to wear, and I don't have to think tooo in LA. So then we're up there recording these podcasts for you guys. I have an assortment of different things to wear and I don't have to think too much about it. So it's really easy to sign up. Go to five, four club.com and use promo code skinny at sign up to get a double package for your first month of five, four club. That's a $240 value for only 60 bucks. This offer expires on March 31st. So take advantage while you can. Again, that's five, four club.com promo code skinny. All right. So, you know, it's been a little while since we've taken listener questions. And so we've been doing a lot of interviews and we have a little break between interviews this week. And I wanted to make sure that we got some questions in from the

audience because we really like answering them. And that's kind of what the whole format of the show was built on. But before we do, it's been a little while. We are going to get into the him and her tip of the week. Lauren, what is your tip? My tip is organization. Okay, so I'm a huge believer in getting shit put away. You guys know what I mean? I like a place for everything. So if you follow along on Snapchat or Instagram story, you know that I had kind of a crisis where I just woke up on a Sunday last weekend and had to reorganize my entire life. I went nuts, like certifiable. I just feel like life is already hectic. So to have everything have its place is amazing. So first I started with my makeup. And if you guys want to see the full breakdown

of what I did, you can go to the Skinny Confidential because I did a full post on it with links and everything. But basically I went to the men's shoe aisle and I got like 12 men's shoe boxes. I think they're like $12.99. They're see-through so you can see. And I stacked them on top of each other and organized my lipsticks in one, my foundation in one, my powders in one, my contour and highlight in another one. And I stacked them on top of each other. So the thing was I was going to buy this acrylic makeup set, but it was $500. I just couldn't justify spending $500 and I still wanted to stay organized. So the men's shoe boxes kind of killed 20 birds with one stone. I also,

and Michael loves this, organized our smoothie drawer. So we have this drawer with like all our herbs and our powders, protein powders, oils. And I basically organized the entire drawer so now you can see everything that that you're making your smoothie with it's very very efficient and then lastly I organized our pantry so having your pantry organized is incredible because you can see everything and there's not shit everywhere overall I can tell you after organizing those three areas of my life, I feel 100% better because now I wake up, everything's in a place. I don't need to worry about it. It doesn't feel messy. And our house just feels in control. You know what I mean, honey? I think it feels in control to you. Yeah, it does. So that's all that matters. What's your tip? All right. So mine's actually pretty long this week.

For the last six to eight months, I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping. Until recently, the last month, I've been sleeping like a baby. And I couldn't figure out why I was having so much trouble sleeping. There's a lot going on in my life right now. And there's a lot going on with everybody's life. But I just was really struggling to get a good night's sleep. So it wasn't that I couldn't fall asleep. It's that throughout the night I was waking up and tossing and turning and then not being able to get up with a spring in my step like I usually do.

So I started doing a lot of reading into sleep, and I started listening to a lot of interviews. And I came across an interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and he was basically talking about how he sleeps like a baby. And so Mr. Schwarzenegger, or Governor Schwarzenegger, is obviously a very busy person that has to deal with a lot of stressful issues. So I was kind of intrigued on how he was able to sleep so easily. And essentially what he said is this. Before bed, he puts his phone in another room or in an area where he can't look at it while in bed. And there are multiple reasons for doing this. First, research shows that white and blue light emitted from your phone prevents your brain from releasing the hormone melatonin, which lets your body know when it's time for sleep. So, Lauren, you are completely guilty of, you know, your phone in the bed, computer in the bed,

clicking the keys makes it difficult. But I am also guilty. And I found that I was answering a lot of emails and staring into my phone late at night and it would kind of like wire me up. So if you're looking at your phone or computer, you're at a huge disadvantage to get to fall asleep easily because you're raising your melatonin levels or your serotonin levels and you're stressing yourself out. So the second part of that is you're stimulating your mind and potentially stressing yourself out. Maybe you stumble across an email that needs attention. So instead of focusing on sleep, you're stressed and focusing on a future task. And then your brain's racing and you can't fall asleep. So getting your

phone out of the room is going to help from stopping to prevent you from getting a good night's sleep. And late at night, it's more than likely you aren't going to be able to solve the problem anyway, especially in the middle of the night. So it's better to get a really solid night of sleep and wake up early to knock it out. Finally, when you're going to sleep, the job is to get a good night's rest like literally that's your job that's what you're there to do so that you have a lot of energy the next day to be able to accomplish anything you're trying to do so i've been trying this and i've been getting great sleep i don't put my phone anywhere near the bed or the computer i read a hard book or like a paper full

like an old school paper book and literally as soon as my head hits the pillow, I have no anxiety. I pass out right away and I wake up super early and refreshed. So it's like doubling my productivity. And you use noise canceling headphones so you don't have to hear me. Yes. Which is amazing. Maybe you need some eye covers too. No, it's amazing that when you get sleep,

you're able to knock stuff out the next day at a much more rapid pace. And I feel like I'm extremely focused. So, you know, it's just even if even if I'm only getting like six hours of sleep, I can't you guys tell I'm clear. Great, Michael. That's why I was literally just going to say I should have I should have done. I'm going to blame it on sleep. I actually only had four hours of sleep. OK, so there's multiple reasons.

OK, so you had four hours of sleep. It was too early's multiple reasons. Okay, so you had four hours of sleep. It was too early in the morning at 10.30 a.m. What else? I drank a bunch of milk before, too. Oh. Oh, my God, man. The girls are turned on now. Milk?

I like to chug my milk. All right, before we get into the questions, we're going to take a quick break. Hey, Duck Dynasty fans. We got a new podcast, The Jeff and Jess Show, with me, Jeff Roberts. And me, Jessica. We'll be talking about our many passions, including faith, family, and everyday life. So check out new episodes

of The Jeff and Jess Show every Wednesday at PodcastOne.com, the PodcastOne app, or subscribe at iTunes. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. All right. Let's talk about what we have been dying to talk about.

We've been dying to talk about this for a couple of weeks, but we haven't been able to fit it in. I'm so glad we're finally talking about this. Email etiquette. Email etiquette. There is a such thing as email etiquette. Let me tell you. Let her tell you. No, really. There is a such thing as email etiquette. No. And so we wanted to, we wanted to talk about this for multiple reasons because we think it will help a lot of people because,

you know, we get a lot of questions and snaps and emails asking an assortment of different things. Maybe somebody needs to reach out to their boss. Maybe they need to reach out to their friend. And so a lot of the time, the way we communicate is through email. And so we get questions on what type of emails to send. And I said, a lot of time we say, send us an example of what you're going to send. And we see the emails and we thought, well, we need to talk about this. Okay, here's the thing. I think that the overachiever in people makes them want to send a long email. I end up always hiring people when their email is short and to the point. I want your mission statement, a sentence, maybe another sentence,

and an attachment of a one sheet or a press kit or about the brand, a lookbook, it doesn't need to be five pages. And I think the biggest tip that I can give, it's to the point. Well, let's go a little bit deeper than that. It's not just getting to the point, but there's a reason why. Everybody is so busy. Literally now, if I call Lauren or if someone calls me, you get irritated. I don't pick up the phone when someone calls me anymore. Here's the thing. Okay, so time is currency. Everyone in the world gets so many text messages, so many emails, so many Instagram messages, so many Snapchat messages. It's like stimulation 24-7. So the last thing they want to do when they sit down to check their email is read a 500-page email. Well, because here's the thing. Everybody

gets busy with different things. Maybe you're a parent. Maybe you have a demanding job. Maybe you have, like Lauren said, maybe you get a lot of snaps or whatever it is. Everybody's really busy and time is the currency. So nobody wants to be rude and nobody wants to be put in a position where they feel rude. And the problem is this, when you invade somebody's time and you count on them for being a good person and really giving a shit about what you have to say with a three page email, they immediately are going to start off and they're going to be irritated because you don't ever want to be the person that says, I'm not going to read this email and I'm going to disregard it. But at the same time, everybody gets busy and an email should not be three pages.

And let's take this a step further. When I'm reaching out to a brand, I get to the fucking point. Hi, I'm Lauren of the Skinny Confidential. I love your brand. I see a synergy there. Attached is my press kit. I would love to talk about working with together or collaborating. Like get to the point. They don't need to hear your whole life story. And I'm just being really honest here. Like they don't need to hear your whole life story. If someone wants to investigate you nowadays, there's 6 million platforms they can go look at you on. I tend to find that people that are very efficient, write maybe a three sentence email and attach something. Yeah. And you know, if, if the person

on the other end decides, Hey, I need to get more information on this, they will respond. They will set up a call. They'll set up a longer email. Then you have once, once they've reciprocated and said, okay, I want to take this further. I want to see what you have to say. I want to hear more about this. Then you can get into the longer form stuff. But everybody is so slammed right now that they don't have the time to go through a long novel. And you're also – just from a selfish point of view, when you send somebody an email like that, you're putting yourself at a disadvantage because immediately more than likely that person's going to be irritated. And you're putting yourself

at a disadvantage because you sat down in order to five page email. I mean, you could have used that time and energy to do something so much more productive than write a five page email, in my opinion. Yes. But it actually goes beyond emails. Have you ever heard of the, I don't know, the abbreviation TLDC? It's all over the internet, like comments. It just stands for too long, don't care. So it's not just emails. It's a lot of things. A lot of people don't want to read anything that's really long drawn out. So TLDC just stands for too long, don't care. If I'm going to read, I'm going to read a book. And another thing, if we want to take this even further, is when you get on a conference call

with someone, it doesn't need to be a half an hour. Like, let's get to the point. I always schedule conference calls under 15 minutes. Like, everyone wants to be efficient. And again, time is currency. So when you're writing an email, make sure you're getting straight to the point. And if you have a question, ask the question. There doesn't need to be 10 paragraphs before the question. The next part of email etiquette has to do more with strategy and getting what you want out of that email and getting an answer that is beneficial to you or that you feel is going to solve a purpose or solve a problem in your life. And if you're sending an email and just asking for something without providing anything in return,

without providing somebody a win, without providing somebody value, more than likely that email is going to get ignored. A perfect example of this is the let me get five minutes to pick your brain over coffee email. If you just send somebody an email that says I want to take five minutes to pick your brain, more than likely that email is going to be disregarded. And here's why too. Here's why someone's going to disregard that. What are you bringing to the table for them? You just want to pick their brain. There's got to be more. I also think another tip with email is the way you word something. I think your strategy needs to have words that are positive

versus negative. And let me give you an example of what I'm talking about. If someone starts an email off with unfortunately, I immediately am turned off by the email. I think that is such a horrible way to start an email. It's negative. Another word that's negative is can't wait to work with you. I always like to say looking forward to collaborating. Everything needs to be positive. The words can't, won't, wouldn't, unfortunately, those are negative words. You want the person as a strategy to feel good when they read your email. People actually say start an email with unfortunately or negatively.

That's insane. It's the worst way to start an email. I call these emails the asshole emails, and this is not to call anybody out specifically, but it's this. If you are putting somebody in a position when you're saying, hey, can I get five minutes for coffee or asking for something or sending somebody with an expectation of something in return, what you're doing, and this is why you're being an asshole what you're doing, and I'm not calling, I'm just saying generally anyone, it could even be me. If you're putting somebody in a position where they need to be an asshole and say, no, I can't get coffee, or no, I'm not going

to be able to do that, or deny your request, it's not fair to the other person. Because think about this. They're doing their thing. They're doing their work. They're taking care of their families, their friends, their obligations. And then all of a sudden, a random email comes in asking for something with no hope of reciprocation in return. And they are then put in the position where they either have to say yes and do something they may not want to do or they have to be the asshole, hence the asshole email, and say no, I don't have time for that. So I really try to avoid sending emails that ask somebody for something without offering them something in return or even offering them something upfront without asking anything. Usually that puts me in a better position to later down the line, get an ask, but again, ask without expectation. I think I'm going to steal that, that, you know, starting out with something bad. And next time I

go on a date and just say, I just want to apologize in advance. No, you know, starting out with something bad and next time I go on a date and just say, I just want to apologize in advance. No, you apologize is a negative word. No, I know. This is what I'm talking about. This is actually a really great exercise. So when you're on a date, you don't want to use words that are negative. And that's the same with email. Like it was bigger last night. No, literally Google negative. Well, let me, let me ask you this. If I wrote, if I structured an email to you this way, sorry, Taylor, I know you're busy, but I'd really like to pick your brain for five minutes. The word but's negative too, by the way.

So what that immediately does for you is I know that I'm burdening you, hence the sorry, but I am still expecting you to take the time to sit down with coffee with me. It also comes out very weak too. Like, can I please, maybe? I always tell everyone that I work with, I never want to hear the word, sorry. I want to hear a positive. I'm all about the positive spin. So when you're concocting an email, sometimes what I'll do is I'll go back and see if there's any negative verbiage within that email because that's a bad strategy. No, and I'm sorry because a lot of this conversation is going to come up like,

oh, maybe there's ego here or maybe these people are on their high horse. It's really not about that. This is a common issue throughout society, and I guarantee everybody that's listening, if they have an honest conversation with their friends, themselves, people around them, everybody gets annoyed at email. A hundred percent. I'm guilty of doing it in the past, writing too long of emails. Everyone's done it before we've all been there. Um, and email

actually definitely is a practice. Like it's not something I believe that you just wake up one day and know how to do. Like, I think that, um, that it's something you learn. And once you learn these little tips and strategies, it's a lot easier to kind of get what you want. I usually spend about five minutes after intercourse apologizing, so I've been there. Okay, we're talking about email. No, and I'm just saying, you know, apologizing. I've been there. Yeah, we know. And finally, like the last thing I was going to say about emails, and I do this exercise a lot. If you're going to ask somebody a question over email,

make damn sure that you can't go to Google and Google it yourself. Because this is one of my biggest pet peeve. It's like, how do I start blank? Go to Google, ask that same question. You'll get 50,000 articles more. And if you can't get your answer, then you can ask the question. But the thing is, most of the time, if you do a little bit of your own research, you'll get most of their questions answered. And maybe you'll have some kind of specific question. That's the question you want to ask somebody. Not the generic, how do I do this? How do I create this? I think we learned how to use the search engine when we were, what, in sixth grade? Remember, we used to go to the library. Some of your questions

are really interesting. So I feel like you're not the best person to give advice on this. I do want to call out the Skinny Confidential readers because they are really amazing about asking me quick questions. Snapchat Messenger has been great for that. They'll be like, what kind of mascara were you using in your Instagram Live? And it's really to the point and quick. So I feel – Now let me play devil's advocate or not devil's advocate, but let me just show you. So you answered that very quickly, right?

Yeah. Boom to the point, answered. Boom to the point. But if you get an email that's 50 pages long, more than likely it's either going to take you a few days to respond or it's going to get shuffled to the side i know you're good and you try to answer these but it's just it's impossible to get to all those emails and all those questions and really like i like i said nobody wants to read a long novel from anyone i don't even want my family or my friends or my long lost cousin to send me i i don't you know no even your love notes like they got to get to the point like a

long lost brother and you could say if he if he sent me a five page email, I'd ignore. But if he said, yo, I'm your long lost brother. I'm back. Can we meet up? I'd probably say, yeah, man, let's do it. But it goes to resumes too. Imagine if you want to send a resume, it has to be about one page. You don't want some long thing. That's six pages long. My brother's out there and he's thinking about emailing me. So the point is keep your emails to the point. Use positive verbiage. Give somebody value without expectation of return and get to the point and don't send asshole emails. So before we get into the first question,

I want to tell you guys what I just made for dinner. It was a vegetable chili and baked sweet potato with crispy tortilla strips. I've made this a couple times from Blue Apron. If you listen to the podcast, you already know that. And if you don't know what Blue Apron is, you have to get on board. Basically, it's the number one fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service in the country. Michael loves how I cook now. Well, I'm basically Mario Batelli.

You're catching up. That's not how you pronounce it, but that's okay. He can think he is. Anyways, Blue Apron achieves this by supporting a more sustainable food system and setting the highest standards for ingredients and building a community of home chefs like me. I feel like I am a chef now because of Blue Apron. They've established partners with 150 local farms, fisheries, and ranchers across the United States. And what's really cool about it is their beef, their chicken, and their pork come from responsibly raised animals. So

it's very on brand. You guys, some of their featured upcoming meals are salmon piccata with broccoli. Yum. Sque, squeezing lemon all over that, pork chops and miso butter. You can do the vegetable chili, which is my personal favorite, or the spicy shrimp coconut curry with cabbage and rice. So if you're thinking about Blue Apron, just remember it's affordable. There's lots of variety. It's flexible, easy, and guaranteed. Check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free with free shipping by going to blueapron.com slash himandher. You will love how good it feels and tastes to create incredible home-cooked meals with

Blue Apron, so don't wait. That's blueapron.com slash himandher. Okay, this is question number one. It's from Snapchat from eraw37. This is actually for Michael, but I guarantee Lauren will have some input also. So what are your tips for reading so quickly? Have you worked on techniques like speed reading? I would love to finish reading multiple books per week, and I'm a full-time student. Okay, I was actually going to do a post on this pretty soon. I did a post a while back on the Skinny Confidential called The Three Book Theory, which is, I think it's interesting.

It's a different, it's kind of a different take on reading. A lot of the time I read three different genres of books at once, not all at the same time, but maybe within the same week to switch it up. So if you're bored and you want to check that out, go to the Skinny Confidential and it's called Three Book Theory. But anyways, I digress. First, reading just like anything else, practice makes perfect. It's basically working a muscle. I actually schedule time every day, literally every day. Lauren can tell you that in my Google Calendar.

Just like I'd schedule time to go to the gym to do a workout, to read. And that could either be reading before bed, on a break at the office, early in the morning when nothing's going on, and that could be a newspaper or an article or a website or a book. Or a skinny confidential blog. So I actually schedule time to actually do this, and when I do schedule that time, I do nothing else but read. And as for speed reading, if you want to get into speed reading, which I, it's funny,

I actually learned how to speed read on a plane one time because I read about the theory and I just, I tried it. And it just, it just clicked in my head and I don't know really how to explain how that click happened. But once I understood the theory, I actually was just, I was able to do it. And there's a lot of good articles on speed reading. I think Tim Ferriss did one. There's a book called Speed Reading for Dummies, which is really good. But essentially, when you were taught to read as a kid, you were actually taught to sound out the words. So you'd say Apple, A-P-P-L-E. So you're spelling it out in your head and then you're sounding it out. And as you get older and you start to read in school, instead of sounding the words out and saying them out loud, you start saying them in

your head. When you do that, it slows you down and you're actually multitasking. You're not just reading and consuming the material. You're sounding the words out silently in your head, which actually makes it more difficult to comprehend and consume the content that you're reading, which you would think would make it easier, but it actually, it's considered multitasking, so it splits your thought pattern. So what I do is instead of reading and sounding out in my head, I constantly, when I read, I'm skimming, using peripheral vision. And a good trick, and I think Tim Ferriss talks about this, I was reading his article the other day, is he actually brings in the line of vision. He draws

two lines down the sides of his book, one on the outside edges of the words and one on the inside edges. And he reads in a narrower vision and he's using his peripheral vision to consume the words. So speed reading is essentially scanning. It's funny how your brain's able to pick up the words and string sentences together much quicker when you do it this way. I don't know if you guys have ever read one of those paragraphs where all the words are out of order, but like the letters are out of order in the words, but you're somehow able to understand it. It's because your brain is able to put the patterns together of the lettering, and it's able to comprehend what the word is saying.

So this is the same concept that you would use for speed reading. And you actually retain more when you read this way, because you're not splitting your focus by reading one word at a time. So for me to go back to the question on how I read quickly, first, I schedule time just like I'd schedule time in the gym and I make a point to do it instead of dicking around on Netflix or wasting time on social media or screwing off with a video game. I actually schedule time to read and it's usually at least two hours a day. And I practice, you know, I practice speed reading techniques and I, um, you know, I work at it every day and I just, and I think it's one of those things where over time I've gotten better and better at it. And it's, um, practice makes perfect. Speed reading to me means going to the store, buying a bunch of books and then never reading them. Done. Okay. I actually, well, I think everyone does done that. It's gone to the, it's gone to the bookstore, buying a bunch of books, and then never reading them. Done. Okay.

I actually, well, I think everyone has done that. It's gone to the bookstore, bought a bunch of books, and go, I'm going to read all these, and then they never do. Well, the biggest thing is discipline, right? Like, Wesson was asking me the other day how I read, and I literally, it's just like that. Lauren got a snap the other day from somebody that said, how do you go to the gym? I'm not motivated to go to the gym. I don't want to go to the gym.

Of course, nobody wants to go to the gym and nobody wants to do it. It's difficult. Everything, everything's difficult, but I'm just very disciplined with it. I sit down, I schedule the time. I say, listen, this is just something I have to do. And I think it makes me a better person. I always look at things like the gym and reading and working, working and brushing my teeth. Like I don't wake up and say, oh, I have to brush my teeth. I just get up and brush my teeth.

So the gym, there's no option in my head. Like I just get up. I do with work. I just get up. I do. And I think that over time it becomes a habit and it's implemented into your like psyche. Yeah. But notice, and also it's a choice when you make the choice like, okay, this is what I'm doing and I have to do this. It's kind of like this,

you know, people don't like to get up early, but if you have a flight that you have to make for business or you have a car that you have to take for work or you have to, you have to do something, somehow you're able to like get your adrenaline going and get going at a time that you have to make for business or you have a car that you have to take for work or you have to you have to do something somehow you're able to like get your adrenaline going and get going at a time that you would never do unless you had that serious commitment it's the same thing if you put that urgency and you and you um put that urge behind you to and implement the discipline you can do it do you think it's a skill that if you stop doing it you'll lose it speed reading well it's like the same thing as like the gym like do you think if you stop working it, you'll lose it. Speed reading. Well, it's like the same thing as like the gym. Like, do you think if you stop working out, you're going to get fat?

Well, I don't know. I mean, I didn't know if it was more or less accustomed to like riding a bike, something you never forget, or if it's something you've gotten better at as time goes on. I feel like it's kind of like cardio, like you today. You definitely have to practice it or you will just be in a puddle in five minutes into the warm-up. I actually, I'm not making light of heart attacks, but I felt like I was going to have multiple heart attacks. That's a bit dramatic.

No, I've kind of made a game of it to see how much I can actually read and get done, and it just, I mean, I play the game with myself. No, I know, you make me feel like I'm warm. You come in and you go, yeah, I read like three books this weekend. I go, yeah, I watched a bunch of movies on Netflix. Well, think about the time you take to watch the movies on Netflix. Let's say you watch, how many movies do you think you watch a week? Like 12. 12 movies a week? Yeah, or more. Okay, let's say the average two hours each. Okay, that's 24 hours that you could be reading. Yeah. Okay. Right. So you could literally sit down

and read, if a book, say it took you six hours, it was a normal size book. I say six hours is maybe it takes you 12 hours. You could read two books a week. Yeah. Just most people see, everybody makes excuses and they say, Oh, I don't have the time to read or I can't read, or I don't have this skill. You have the time. You have the time for anything in the world that you want to do. There's no, there's no such thing. I always say, if you want something, you're going to find a way to fucking figure it out. Yeah. It's anything. You have the time to do anything. And now we're going into another subject, but anything you want to do, whether it's reading, working out, pursuing a date, whatever it is, you have the time. It's just if you want to make the decision to actually make the choice to do it. So before we get into the last question,

let's talk about stamps.com. As you guys know, I love efficiency, which is why I'm very excited that I have recently been able to cut out the post office. Basically stamps.com is anything that you can do at the post office, but you can just do it right from your desk now. So you can get the postage on demand. So easy. Just go to stamps.com. I like to send out the skinny confidential books to readers like you guys, or I do all my giveaway stuff. You guys know I do a lot of giveaways on Snapchat. So instead of waiting in line for 500 hours with a ton of people and wasting my time, I can just do everything from my desk. I love it. Unlike the post office stamps.com never closes. So if you're like me, you like to work later at night and again, efficient right now, you can use my code skinny

for this special offer. It's a four week trial and includes postage and a digital scale. Don't wait, go to stamps.com before you do anything else, click on the radio microphone at the top of the homepage and type in skinny. That's stamps.com. Enter skinny stamps.com. Never go to the post office again. Let's go into question two. This is from at sand and sequins. Okay. First of all, it's at sand and sequins, so let's get that right. Sorry. You need to practice your reading skills. See? And I was sounding it out too. Sand and.

Sand and Sequence. Okay. How do you and Michael approach each other when the other is maybe not living up to their standards or potential? How do you put each other in check in a loving way? I don't put them in check in a loving way. I'm going to be really honest here. I know that everyone wants me to say, oh, I'm so nice and I'm so kind and I'm so loving. If Michael's doing something that I don't like, I'm very comfortable with confronting him in a way that is maybe a little bit in his

face, but that's the way that Michael needs to be handled as a man. He needs a firm hand. You know, I think it's rare that I get too down on myself, but there are times when, you know, it's human, everybody can get down that I do. And in those weaker moments, I'll go to Lauren looking for some comfort and some consultation. And she literally gives it to me straight, like basically stop being a bitch, hustle, get your shit together, get after it. Like she, and she doesn't do it in a mean way. She does it like, listen, you're fully capable of doing this. Pull your head out of the gutter and let's get it done.

And so I really respect that approach. I don't think that I would respond if she did it in a, let's call it a, because I consider that a loving way. And I tell Lauren this all the time, and it goes the same way. If I'm taking the time to really give someone advice, and it can be very blunt or upfront, I'm not taking that time because I want to be right or because it's making me feel good. I'm giving someone advice because I love them and I care about them

and I want them to win. And so I want to get straight to the point and say, listen, this is what I think. And so she does the same thing to me, and I want them to win. And so I want to get straight to the point and say, listen, this is what I think. And so she does the same thing to me and I respect that approach. I don't think that I would respond if it wasn't such a direct approach. Here's the thing, you guys. I'm a big believer that the woman sets the tone of the relationship. And what I mean by that is that the woman is the person that's setting how the relationship's going to go. So if Michael came to me and he's down on himself and he's complaining about something

and I got down in the mud with him and listened to him and complained with him and we were both complaining and we were both Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh together, that does no good for anyone. So when Michael comes to me with kind of a negative attitude, I hit him back with a positive. I'm sure you guys have heard Michelle Obama say that when they go low, we go high. So with Michael, when he's low, I punch him with a high and I basically tell him to get his shit together and stop acting like a little bitch. And I feel like he responds to that. Well, you know, I always use this analogy.

Anything I'm doing, whether it's a business idea or whether it's this podcast or whether it's just something personal, maybe an arts and crafts project. My mom, when I was growing up, was a very loving mom, great mom. A lot of respect for her still. But she never, ever gave me the BS of honey, you can do everything. Never. Your mom's not like that, which I love that about her. And I think that there's a big problem in society today when,

you know, you want to be supportive, right? You want, you want to show your loved ones that they can, they can do things, they can accomplish goals. But my mom was very much, you know, when I did something that was great, she said, great job. And when I did something that was shit, she would say, hey, you could do better. She would say, this is shit. Yeah, she would say, this is shit. Not really, not when I was a kid, maybe now. But when I did something when I was younger and it wasn't great, she would never come and say,

honey, that's great. It's okay. Now, there's a lot of controversy around this. Maybe people say, oh, you should have a mom that says you can do anything. But the problem is this approach is making people soft. And it's also giving people expectations. Yes, it's setting expectations that are unreasonable. Sorry, you're not going to be an astronaut. No, you're not going to be an astronaut. No, you're not going to be an Olympian. Listen, I'm not going to go to the NBA, okay? My mom made me very well aware of that. I played football in high school.

I was one of the smallest guys on the team. She let me know, hey, this probably isn't going to work out, but you're a good boxer, so do that. And I did boxing for a long time, and I demolished. So I think the's the whole life I've been attracted to women that have really kind of told me how it is. And they're supportive in the sense where they say, you know, this is your strength. Go all in on this. Do a good job. You're great at this. And then when I try to do something that maybe isn't the best, they say, hey, maybe focus in this way. And so, you know, when I'm complaining

or I'm down, I have a lot of women in my life that are very to the point, Lauren, saying, hey, get your shit together. And I appreciate that approach. And I think it works. This question also says, how do you approach each other when you're not living up to a potential or a standard that someone has? So if Michael is doing something that's bothering me, I don't hold it in. I let him know immediately. And boy, do I let him know. I'm very upfront with, and I don't know if that's because I feel like we also, outside

of our relationship, have a friendship. I call him out. I think that that's what works for us. Every couple is very different. That might not work for you and your boyfriend or your girlfriend, but I'm a big believer in communication streamlined. No, and I'll touch on that a little bit. When you say communication streamlined, I want to really differentiate the point of communicating with somebody and complaining at somebody. A lot of men a good job at is we actually have a conversation and talk it out. But if you're a man or a woman in your relationship and you're just constantly complaining about something you don't like without actually getting to the root problem of, hey, this is the reason I don't like it and this is what I think you can do to change it, you're only going to have problems. Like I said, I like to figure it out. Another thing that I noticed that some of my

friends do, and sometimes I even do this, is they're passive aggressive. So they'll hold it in and then it'll come out in some other way. And that's just like... Taylor and I are too dumb to figure out what's going on. When women are passive aggressive, men, we're not going to figure it out. We're never going to understand. We don't know what's happening. Taylor, we can't, when women are passive aggressive, men, we're not going to figure it out. We're never going to understand. We don't know what's happening. Taylor, we can't, we can't figure it out. You got to tell us, like literally you got to say you did this and it pisses me off because of this. Because if you dance around the subject, we're too dumb to figure it out.

You left the toilet seat up last night and I almost fell in. Could you please shut the toilet? You know that it's physically impossible to actually fall into a toilet. No, it's actually not. I fell in the toilet. You know that it's physically impossible to actually fall into a toilet. No, it's actually not. I fell in the toilet. I think Gwyneth Paltrow actually did. She did a quote and she said that 99% of women all over exaggerate about the toilet thing. So boom, you just got schooled.

Okay, I'd like to see that quote. I'll find it. I actually will because she did an interview and she said the biggest thing that bothers her about women is women who complain about the toilet seat being up or that they're going to fall into it. I've fallen in a hundred times. You know what? An ass cheek in the wet toilet is not fun.

It's easier to flick it down than it is to lift it up. Or complain about it. I'm not going to flick it down. I don't want to flick anything down. Like you put your own toilet seat down. The question is, what's going on when you're creeping in the dark and you can't see that you're about to put your ass in the water? Yeah, Michael, it's late at night. I need to go pee really quick and the toilet seat's open and

I fall in. Do you turn the lights on or is this in the dark? It's in the dark. I don't want to wake Michael up. He's sleeping with his ear canceling headphones on and his eye mask. See, sand and sequins, see what we just did here? Let's say sequins, right? Let's learn how to say sequins before we move on here. Sequins. We're talking about reading. I just sped read it and we're fine. Okay, but you didn't say it right. Sequins. Okay, sand and sequins before we move on here. Sequins. We're talking about reading. I just sped read it and we're fine. Okay. But you didn't say it right. Sequins.

Okay. Sand and sequins. It's like a penguin, but sequin. But not like a penguin. Like a sneaky penguin. Sequin. Anyway. All right.

Well, the point is of this question is you have to do what works for you within your relationship. And what works for me is putting Michael in check. And maybe it's not the most loving way in the world, but it's calling him on his shit. And I feel like that works for our relationship because I feel like it makes you step it up a notch. Well, let's take it back a step. You know, we're just have this conversation about how men are not capable of understanding when, you know, when something's going on, if it's not clearly communicated, we don't really get the whole passive aggressive thing. So explain if you're in a relationship, and I'm assuming this

question was asked by a woman, unless there's a man named Sand in Sequence, which that might be a whole other conversation. But I'm assuming this question's from a woman. If you are tiptoeing around a subject and you're not being completely clear and upfront when someone's not living up to their full potential and letting them know what the issue is and how you think they can solve it, you're not doing them any favors. You're actually reinforcing the problem. The only people that are going to sit around and listen to you complain and feel bad about yourself are other fucking losers. Other people that feel bad about themselves. Nobody that can actually help solve those problems is going to sit there and listen to you complain. Those people are going to sit there and say,

listen, let's cut the shit. Let's get to the root of the issue and let's figure this out together. And no one likes when someone's a negative Nancy and someone's leading with negativity. And every time they open their mouth, they have something negative to say. So next time you're having an issue as a couple, try just logically calling the other person out in a way that's going to support them and uplift them, but also is to the point and direct. I actually like that. I want to end it with one quick thing that I thought was good. I saw a quote earlier and it's actually relevant to this. It doesn't matter if you are a half glass full. If you see the glass half full or half empty, you're missing the point.

It's that the glass can be refilled. So I think it doesn't matter if you're worried that they're going to act one way or they're not. It just matters that as long as you do it, I think that it'll be a change regardless if it's for the positive or the negative. There's a book called Relentless by Tim S. Grover. And he talks about the glass being half empty or half full. And he basically says, shut the fuck up. There is no fucking glass. Just get the job done. Yeah, I agree with that. I'm not thinking about the glass. I guess they're sorry. That was my one moment to shine and it just got smashed. Well, just like you got smashed in cardio today. I, I did. All right. Those were our two questions today. Um, fun to hear Taylor's date recap with Annabelle. Annabelle is coming on our podcast with Taylor and we are going to tell you guys all about Taylor's friend, Katat. Oh, actually, I'm going to do, her and I are going to do like a segment that we were in.

It's called Goose Hump. What? It's like a hump story, but like a, it's like a, you know, like a sexual thing, like a story. It's like a joke made up story, but we're going to do, I'm going to take Goosebump Books and take a haunted, like a haunted sexual story. Yeah, it sounds as, trust me, I'll make it good. Oh. That sounds terrible. Yeah.

Okay. To be continued. So yeah, Annabelle's going to come on the podcast. Maybe she can give us the real story of both their dates. All right, you guys, we're out. Thank you so much for listening to the show. Michael and I both really, really appreciate you guys' support. We have so much for listening to the show. Michael and I both really, really appreciate you guys' support. We have so much fun doing this show and if you

guys have any requests or guests or topics, please email us at podcast at theskinnyconfidential.com You can always Snapchat us too. If you like the show, let your friends know and if you really want to go above and beyond, leave us a review on iTunes. And with that, we'll see you next

week. Thanks for listening to The Skinny Confidential, Him and Her, with Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic. Download new episodes every Tuesday at podcastone.com or subscribe now on the Podcast One app. Here's an interesting fact for you. There are nearly one million new books published in the U.S. alone every year. So if you like to read, how do you choose what you're going to read? Well, that's where Fully Booked by Kirkus Reviews comes in.

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