The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - #58: Adderall and Compliments: Part Two with Annabelle DeSisto & Taylor O'Connor aka "The Bare Naked Cucumber"

Episode Date: April 11, 2017

Host of the podcast "Adderall and Compliments" Annabelle DeSisto (@annabelledesisto) & Taylor O'Conner aka 'The Bare Naked Cucumber,' join Lauryn & Michael to give you the lowdown on their two dates. Taylor shares a poem he constructed for Annabelle, they take a few Instagram Live questions about their dates, Annabelle discusses what it was like having Spencer Pratt on her podcast (Michael has a Spencer Pratt story of his own), and we finally hear the infamous 'Katut' story. Is there a third date in the works for Annabelle & Taylor? To Listen to Adderall and Compliments click HERE To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn’s latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you’ll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

Thanks for downloading this show from PC1. Before we get rolling, here's a word from one of the folks who helped bring you this podcast. The following program is a podcast1.com presentation. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Conf ready for some major realness.

Welcome to the Skinny Confidential. Him and her. Okay, okay, okay. Back again. Back again. Annabelle loves my intro. Lauren loves my intro. Today we have an exciting show.

We're back with the lovely Annabelle from Adderall and Compliments. Hi. Hi. And we have the bare Compliments. Hi. Hi. And we have the bare naked cucumber. Hi. I'm just following what she said. Taylor just put about 40 cinnamon Altoids in his mouth before we got started, so if you hear clicking and clacking, those are Taylor's Altoids.

Well, he's a little nervous. The last time we had Annabelle on the show, he proceeded to hit on her the entire time. And since then, we're going to get into it and hear the story. I'm a little more confident this time, though. It's the Altoids. It's the men. You just blew cinnamon in Annabelle's eyes and she can't see now. It is like pepper spray coming from his mouth. It is very strong.

Well, I mean, he ate pretty much the whole box, you know. And maybe you've got to suck back some of that drool you've been salivating everywhere. I like those orange Tic Tacs that are really good. You just keep eating them. I think anybody who's ever had a Tic Tac knows the orange ones are the ones that you can eat the whole time. You eat the whole case in minutes. So it's been two minutes. If you pop that right now, you're off.

I had to stop him from putting another one. He's getting nervous. He wants to make sure his breath's all right. We got it. Your breath's good. Okay, so bring us up to date. You guys went on two dates and everyone's wanting to know like the whole lowdown. Taylor, you got to let Annabelle talk though. You can't just jump in and say it was great because Annabelle might not agree. We've heard your side of the story. Annabelle,

did you ever listen to that side of the story? Did you ever listen to that podcast where he described the dates? Which one? The one where I was cheating or? Yeah. The one where he described the dates? Which one? The one where I was cheating? Yeah, the one where he said you were cheating. Yes, I did hear that one. I would like to clear that up. Tara, I actually don't want you to talk for most of the time because I need to hear the other side of this. Yeah, as long as you're not clicking your lips. So I was shocked to hear that.

It was the only game I did win, and he claims that I cheated at it because I was blocking, was it the goal? What is it? The slot? The slit? The slit's such a gross word. I don't know what the term is for air hockey pocket.

He's not allowed to talk because he'll clock him in. So he said that I cheated because I just guarded it the whole time and I didn't move the paddle. What he neglected to tell you was that how many slurpees and child's hands have been on that table. So it was the stickiest thing in the entire world where my paddle, even if I tried to move it, it would not move. So he had his mentee hands all over there too. So yeah, it was just like smudge. I mean, I've never been around more children in my life than at Dave and Buster's. Was it fun? It was so much fun. It was like one of the most fun things I've ever done. Certainly

the most fun I've ever had on a date. Wow, Taylor. High praise. Can I speak now? Yeah, you can. Do you have a mint in your mouth? I was going to say, since we're talking about Dave and Buster's and how it has to do with games, I would say it was very reminiscent of Donkey Kong on top of that thing throwing the barrels down.

I was like Mario trying to get up the... Not that you look like Donkey Kong. Not that you look like Donkey Kong. Are you comparing your date to Donkey Kong now? Because you're losing points by the second. I can even be Princess Peach? I can even be anything?

Yeah, give her something. No, because Donkey Kong, in the original Donkey Kong where Mario first appeared, he has princess, and he basically throws these barrels down the side. All right, you're going down a real... Look it up and you'll see what I mean. Wait, am I the barrel?

Yeah. You're the gorilla that holds the princess. Okay, the gorilla. Because you're basically like you have to get by me. Not that you look like you're... So I want to pump the brakes here and step on the gas as hard as I can to go in reverse for a second. Because I need to get everybody caught up, and I want to get caught up. So you came on the show a few months ago.

Yes. We had a lot of fun. Taylor was hitting on you the entire time. I figured he was creeping you out. I figured that he was, I figured that it was just like, we're never gonna see this girl again. No, I just thought it was like a joke. I just thought it was like a bit that he did whenever you guys do let him on.

I just thought that was something he did with all your guests. It's not a bit. This is what we live with. I guess because I'm so used to doing morning radio, like the schick of morning zoo shows, I was like, oh, okay, this is their wacky sidekick who wears pajamas to work. He is their wacky sidekick. You weren't that day, but the

shows I've had to work on, it's like that's... I have worn the smiley face pajamas underneath my pants, though, to work, because it gets cold. I don't want to... What? This is the first time I'm hearing this. That is way better than what I see on Michael's Snapchat that you wear when you think it's cold. My favorite thing is.

95 degree weather. His beanie. Yeah. Annabelle snaps me every time I snap you with your beanie on, like basically saying, what the fuck's this guy wearing? The worst is like a couple companies will send me like some products to try and I'll come into his office and he'll have my candles lit all around his office, shaped in a heart

eating my coconut rice crispy treats as he picks his tooth with a wisp that was sent to me by Crest. There is some good stuff that gets sent so I go, ooh, what is this? We know, you just have decorated your office with it. I'm basically quality control.

There's a uh a company i can't remember which one but they sent um a bunch of sex toys and vibrators and taylor was the last one in the office with the vibrator we can't we can't seem to find it and i'm wondering what's going on over there man no i promise you i did not take the vibrator i would have no use for the vibrator because i'm a man i sure hope not it was a female don't worry i might have wanted to use it but you touched your hands all over it after you had eaten the peanut butter cup, so I guess I can't use that. Well, actually, talking about sex toys just for a second, that specific sex toy was kind

of interesting because, remember, we were looking at it, it kind of looked like a stingray. That's what I was imagining. Because, you know, a stingray has the tail and then it's got the, like, kind of, like, what is it? I don't even know what it's flaps. So the sex toy goes, you're supposed to insert it into the uterus. Is that the right term? No.

The uterus is like part of the vagina. Let's not have you break down the female anatomy. Yeah, I don't think it's the uterus, buddy. It goes into, you insert it inside, and then, so it like basically cups the good parts of the lady's vagina. Is there bad parts? Eh, I mean, that's not what I'm... So anyways, so supposedly you're supposed to...

Let's go back to your date. No, no. Well, let me finish this. No, no, no. This works it in. No, I'm going to... As the sex toy of the stingray-like sex toy, you're supposed to... Then the man is supposed to insert his penis into the woman at the same time.

So... So you've planned this all out with the sex toy that was sent to me and you've touched it. I was just, well, what I'm getting at is how can you get the male genitalia into the woman's vagina at the same time? That's the question of your life, isn't it, buddy? I just, because I mean, as we all know,

because I'm so large, it just wouldn't fit. There's no way. Alright, okay. So, back to your date. So after the podcast, he asks you on his first date. Right. Our first date was in January, right? Yeah. Where did you guys go your first date?

We actually just went there for breakfast. Oh, you went to the pole lounge. The pole lounge. And I think the guy was still playing on the piano from then. He's on a marathon going continuously. Okay. So tell us about the pole lounge date. A little recap.

We were there. We were the last people there. We were those people when the staff's like, please, can you just please move to a different go to a 24-hour diner. We want to get home to our families. The piano player had left. Even he beat it. Mariah Carey?

We saw Mariah Carey and her backup dancer that she left that lurch billionaire for. So that was very exciting. Lurch billionaire. Okay, so did Taylor make you pay, or did he split the check, or did he pay for the whole thing? No, he paid for the whole thing. Good.

Taylor, just checking. No, of course I did. No, that dinner was actually really good. That was the first time I'd ever been there. So you were a gentleman. And you got her a little drink drink which you don't like to drink no I rarely ever drink I have like two drinks a year that's a lot

okay so she had a drink she actually had two drinks so I wasted all on that one the first one I don't think you really drank though the first one you drank the second one I think you just did that thing where people grab the straw and they like you know that's like my nervous tick.

You know, like they're churning butter. Oh, okay. So you were watching her as she drank, like every second. Well, I was staring at it going, geez, is she going to drink that? Oh. Because it was really good. Remember? They were like really good.

It was very, like, he was wonderful. I've been trying to like work on not saying great because I know how much you hate that word. So this entire day I've been practicing like trying not to say it. But he was really nice. Like, the reason I don't drink alcohol is just because I can't find anything that, like, tastes good to me. So he's like, okay, what I'll do is, like, order anything that you think will taste good. And if you don't like it, I'll drink it.

So we'll just, like, order. So he ordered two for me that would possibly taste good. Okay. I love it. I love it. This is going good. So you guys are there. You're talking all night. Taylor comes home to our house super late um he loved his date so then the second date

how do you ask her out on to go to dave and buster's like how does that transpire oh i was actually that was much more you you can she should tell the story but i actually wrote in on her podcast i sent a like a little excerpt of writing to, to Megan, her friend that's always on it. And she's really funny. So I sent it to her and I actually told Annabelle, I was like, Oh, I'm going to send in a question, but then sent it to Megan for Megan to read. And I actually, she, Megan did somewhat of, I'm not, she did somewhat of a bad job reading it where I'm going, Oh no, I look so bad. Cause it wasn't, she didn't write, she didn't read it. Well, you have an issue with a lot of the time, like I've

known you for a long time. And a lot of times what's in your head is a good idea for you. But the way you communicate it to other people is interesting. Interesting and confusing to say the least. It's not great. And so you have this like great, like, you know,

this big grand plan in your head and then but you have a difficult time formulating it so a simple idea turns into a really complicated idea that usually most of the time not always turns into a massive train wreck she i mean i think would you describe that because she said it was a poem so i had the first part was a poem it was it was roses are red, violets are blue. Wait, wait, wait. You had a two-part letter and part one was a poem? I thought it was really good.

It was like a mini poem and then like a question type. Or like more or less like a what if. Do you see here why this is confusing? Oh, you know what? I actually have it on my phone. Here, hold on. I actually... Hold on one second.

While you're pulling up your sonnet, we'll go along. Let's hear your haiku. I can't wait to hear it. So did the poem or whatever it was woo you or were you like, ugh? At first I thought Megan was kidding. I thought she wrote it and then she was saying just like Taylor. But it was really, really good. And so I was shocked that he even did that because I've never had anybody take the time to write two sentences for me, let alone try to make it rhyme. You know, I think I saw them on one of those websites where you put in the word and it

shows you everything it rhymes with, so we can't give them all the credit. Okay, I found it. Okay. Here we go. I'm going to read it the way it was supposed to. Is this the day we lost all those clients because you were neglecting your work? No, this was... I don't know.

I have no idea. No, I did this on my own time. Okay. Dear Annabelle, roses are red, violets are blue. If Tuxedo had a tiny gun to shoot me, it would go pew pew. That's it. There's no more poem. That's it.

That's where Megan went wrong. Wait. When you read it to me earlier, you had a sound effect for the pew pew. So let's read the last line again with how you showed me the sound effect. Oh, you mean? No, but that's like. No, no, no. Go ahead.

If Tuxedo had a tiny gun to shoot me, it mean... No, but that's like... No, no, no. Go ahead. If Tuxedo had a tiny gun to shoot me, it would go pew, pew. That's how it would really be read. But this was not... I mean, of course. Okay. You didn't put stage direction in it. Yeah. Megan would have had no idea.

Yes, you're right. And then I wanted... You should have sent her a video and acted it out, you know? That I could have, but I don't think she was taking video submission. So then it goes into this. It says, will you, Annabelle, be my valentine? I know, I know. You can't even reach out and put it in the poem, dude.

I know to some it seems awkward holding hands on the playground or receiving borderline creepy gifts and flowers from secret admirers that on any other day would be called stalkers. All right. Hold on. Sorry. This is the creepiest love letter I've ever seen. Okay. Playgrounds and creepy holding hands? What the fuck are you talking about? Okay, wait. This is where I went wrong, K. So let me start on. Sorry. This is the creepiest love letter I've ever seen. Okay. Playgrounds and creepy holding hands.

What the fuck are you talking about? Okay, wait. This is where I went wrong, K. So let me start over. Sorry. Where didn't you go wrong? Will you, Annabelle, be my Valentine? To some, I know it means awkwardly holding hands on the playground or receiving borderline

creepy gifts and flowers from secret admirers that any other day would be called stalkers. To me, it means Dave and Buster's, the playground for adults where I can awkwardly hold your hand or hope that they at least have soup where I can stare at the beautiful hair or stare at your beautiful hair in public where you hoard french fries instead of through the blinds

where you sleep at night. Holy shit. Okay. Whoa. Let me say this. Even our sound guy, he just quit. So you worked in the word creepy and awkward like four times and playground you're gonna stare at the back of her head you're gonna creep through

her blinds i want to know what annabelle thought of that though maybe i mean it's always been my dream to be stalked because it means that you're getting attention and wanted. So that's always kind of been a goal of mine. So I was very into it. So I really liked that part. It was very long. I haven't responded to emails since October. So I know I'm like you and Michael's nightmare. So if I put any of the effort he put into that poem, the two-line poem, and then the rest, the three paragraphs.

The poem and then the axe murderer letter? I mean, I don't even know what to say here. I feel like, are you, like, dead serious? You know, after reading it, you're right, it actually does come up. You remind me of, like, Jack, like, coming in with the axe and, like, slamming through the door, like, here's Johnny! You know, like, Jesus Christ. I mean, I don't think you could get any more creepy.

Yeah, actually, now that I, out of context. But, okay, so, so so we okay i mean actually do you know what's funny here is i'm actually like that's pretty on par for you like that's pretty like i'm that's a normal letter like for me like i get it like i know you very well so i'm like okay like i get it a lot of people probably listen to this and be like what the hell kind of letter is that but i get it so it's charming coming from taylor i mean after your wedding speech there's really nothing that can surprise me with you as i say i'm like i don't think really like off the cuff things are maybe his thing.

Yeah, I mean, after saying you're going to blow the bride in front of all of my family and friends. And telling me to suck down on my penis at my wedding. After that, I think a simple letter like this, it's like a 10 compared to that. But I really loved it because he had inside jokes. So he tailored it to you. Yes, Literally. No pun intended. Like tailored it to me where my one boyfriend, when I asked him to like give me a gift because

he had no money. So I was like, okay, like he thinks he's a good musician. I fucking hate acoustic music more than anything in my entire life. And I'm like trying to be a good girlfriend. I mean, like on my birthday where I should be thinking about me, like what will make him feel good to like give me because he's like poor as shit. And so I was like, sure, just, like, write me a song. And then he didn't write me a song.

He just took one off the internet by Casey and JoJo. And I, like, as he was doing it, because he's such a poor guitar player, I didn't realize it. So. It could be worse. Yeah. So it could be, like, way worse. It could be worse.

And I was, you know, like. It could be. He might have pulled that poem off of, like, creepypoems.com, though. So, I mean, you know. No, because I definitely made that up. I think that was. I don't think there's anybody that's listening would ever think that you didn't make that up. I mean, you know.

Kevin, are you creeped out or what? I am very creeped out. I mean. Imagine if someone read that out of context and didn't know the background to that. They would definitely go, okay, there's something wrong with it. You mean like the whole audience that's listening? When you said you're going to go in the children's playground and then sniff her hair or something like that. You know, yeah.

It's a little weird. Okay, so you went on your date to Dave and Buster's. Is there a third date planned? At the moment, no. Maybe tonight. Remember we asked for submissions and then I don't think that anybody ever... Are you taking submission ideas?

Yeah, remember? That's what you did. You asked the last one. Did you ever get any? Because I have none. I think you actually should take her for goat cheese balls at Sir. Like, I'm dead serious. Because I keep hearing about these damn goat cheese balls and sir like i'm dead serious because i keep hearing about these damn goat cheese balls and they sound pretty good are they i've never had them i've only been to the sexy unique restaurant once shockingly really and like what's so weird okay we went for a group

dinner with like stassi and chris's mom i know this is not about them so we went for a group dinner like pretty much all the vanderpump girls except for lala like do you know they have to like pay at sir what i like so thought this dinner would be calm so much all the Vanderpump Girls, except for Lala. Like, do you know they have to, like, pay at Sir? What? I, like, so thought this dinner would be cum, so, like, when the bill came, I was like, are you fucking kidding me? They have to pay? I feel so bad. I'm not supposed to cuss on your podcast, right? No, we can cuss. We can cuss. Okay, I feel so... No, we cuss all the time.

Isn't that, like, so shocking? Yeah, that is kind of weird that they have to pay. Like, loosen the purse strings a little bit, Lisa. Like, a group dinner. It wasn't, like, thousands of dollars. Hey, listen, I used to work at McDonald's. So did Taylor back. We actually worked together in high school. Oh, this old story.

Okay. No. Well, and you know, we even got free meals. So if McDonald's is doing it. I mean, if Hooters can, you know. Well, Taylor was going to ask you to come to dinner with us tonight, but then I just decided that I would just do it for him because he had too many mints in his mouth to talk. But where do you think we should go?

I think maybe Taylor keeps talking about Italian. Is there a Chuck E. Cheese around here? No, Taylor, come on. Get a little more creative. Something with a ball pit, maybe. So wait. So, OK, so you get the love sonnet letter document and you go on the date and which was actually a lot of fun.

You know what? There's a lot of it. Hold on. Let me let me hear this from her. So because you're jumping in here. I want to hear... Don't forget the girl that got escorted out because she was having too much fun. I want to hear from her mouth how this date went.

Because I've heard it from you. And what I've learned also about you, Taylor, is most of the time when something happens in your life and I get the story, I get about 25% of it up front. And then as the weeks and months go on, I slowly unravel it. So I'd say I have about a quarter of the story and I need to hear the rest. Because basically all I've heard is how he just demolished you in every arcade game and that you were a big cheater. I mean, that is true.

I'm not sure that's debatable about the cheating part. I mean, I would be more than happy to show you that that was not the case that i probably would win again and maybe he was just like playing hector projector of what he should have done which was guarding the slot which like would have made you win which you clearly didn't so maybe you were just jealous of like my ability at one game i would say he was like super funny he was incredibly patient with me because he wasted like each game is like the equivalent of like 15 and i had no idea that games are so athletic or like i get i'm not like you and lauren like in any means but i'm like oh i can play a like video game like how hard can that be like plenty of fat teens do it like i'll be able to do it and i got there and so it's like you pay like

15 basically for one game and i like lifted up the gun i was like it's heavy i can't and just like put it down and walked away and he's was like, okay, we'll try another one. And like so many of the games I couldn't do because they were so heavy and I just gave up. Yeah. It was like walking around with Goldilocks trying to find that perfect porridge, but her just going, there's no, there's no perfect porridge. Oh, analogy.

No, but you know, the one that we did find was that little bow and arrow one that you couldn't reload. You didn't know how to reload. And I'm just sitting there and you kept dying, and I just kept... It was like, okay, you're not doing it right. I would say half the games would be over by the time I finally figured out where the go button is. And he was very patient. I would have screamed if it was like...

I would have gone insane. But he was very, very patient. And so I wasted all of the tokens losing every single game. Perfect. I love it. So he was, like, incredibly patient, and I had so much fun. There was one game that I thought I could do because it was just what appeared to be a sitting game. There was just, like, a bench.

And I was like, I can do that. And then even that was, like, I have to go see your hot chiropractor because it literally gave me. You should go see it. Oh, yeah. That was that move, the thing where you just reclined. It was like watching an interactive movie. It was literally just a couch. You know, I might introduce her to my chiropractor because he is single and he's taking applications right now.

Every single girl on Snap. Like actual applications? Taylor gets really jealous about this. It's a little bit of a soft subject or a sore subject. Taylor was getting a lot of, like, a lot of girls would, like, Snap message me and say, I was Taylor single, blah, blah, blah. Well, now no one cares about Taylor anymore. Now it's about the hot chiropractor. It's all about the chiropractor. Yeah I'm old news.

Yeah so the hot chiropractor is like he's really crushing it a lot of people really really like him on Snapchat so. Really? Oh well. I appreciate Taylor because honestly he could have gotten more points if he had like gone with Stevie Wonder like that was the level of partner I was that night so he's very patient

like. Oh you gotta tell her about the our hats that's like the highlight of everything I was that night, so he's very patient. Oh, you gotta tell her about our hats. That's like the highlight of everything. Oh, he did use all of his points. He traded in his card. We got to use all of his points, and we got to go around the prize shop. I took a very long time because I wanted to take my purchase very, very seriously.

So we did get winner hats, and I got a winner shirt. Wow, Taylor. They're actually pretty cool. Why don't you wear yours to the office instead of that beanie? I actually have. I wore it literally like a week ago. He did.

It's a cool hat. Is that when you were picking your teeth with the new wisps I got? I think that was when I was eating the apple crisps. So we're sitting here. We're doing this. We have the Instagram live going right now. Hi, guys. Hello, guys.

And I'm looking at some questions. And so this is the question that we've all... Yeah, ask some questions for Annabelle and Taylor. This is the question we've all been waiting for. So I don't think it's been three months, but they said, why have you waited three months to go on a third date? Just because of I live down in San Diego, and it's just a little bit more of a... What is the term? Commute term commute yeah not so much commute

but there is LA traffic and everything so it has to be uh I try to do it to make it to where I mean when I when we went to Dave and Buster I actually drove up like he drove up and drove back like the same night like that's and we haven't been back since we haven't been to LA for a while because of the um carbon dioxide poisoning incident no we we're fine now. Should I tell everybody that? No, that's a different story. We did tell that story. My friend's birthday was in Santa Monica last week

and I didn't go because I'm like, oh no, I'm not driving to Santa Monica. So the fact that he drove all the way up from San Diego and drove back that night is like...

Commendable. Yeah, so impressive. We'll give him a winter hat. I almost drove off the road and killed myself. When I drive, I fall asleep like this. That's normally what happens when people spend a long time with me. They're like, I just want to go home and kill myself.

That is the reaction of most of my dates. Is there a third date in the cards, Annabelle? I'll let her answer this one. It's not like I'm going to ask. Like, what do you mean? Oh, wait. No, no, because I already answered that. Remember, you said...

Is there a third date in the card? No, they don't want to know. Meaning, is there, like, if there was an invitation, would it be positively received? Yes. Ah. And it won't come in some weird, creepy poem, like, stalker letter. It'll be in a box, and it'll have some dead animal's head in it. It will be written in my blood.

You'll probably write a murder mystery or some weird shit like that. Are you going to send her your ear like Van Gogh? Why don't you take her somewhere really good, really creative and interesting? You've got to think really hard. Like skydiving? No, let's not go skydiving on our third date. Bunchy jumping? Actually, no, I did ask you if you would ever do skydiving? No let's not go skydiving on our third date

Bungie jumping? Actually no I did ask you if you would ever do skydiving Because I was trying to think of somebody Because you don't have to talk to them if you skydive too That's a great date you know Or I could take her like scuba diving That's another thing where we don't talk Oh no number one I can't swim

And anytime like somebody asks you to go scuba dive I'm like oh he's gonna kill his wife Well also you don't want to do that to your hair No I'm like If I really wanted to be a big asshole Which I'm like, oh, he's going to kill his wife. Well, also, you don't want to do that to your hair. No, I'm like, hmm. If I really wanted to be a big asshole, which I think a lot of people like to do, is they go, oh, we could go on a really gnarly hike. And I don't hike, but there's all these people that go like, yeah, let's go on a hike. Such a great idea.

Speaking of hikes. I don't hike. You really want to bring up a hike here? You want to talk about hikes? Let's talk about hikes. I don't like hikes. I didn't think we were going to pull this one out of our archive. So the last hike that we did at Office Outing, and we decided to do that stupid potato chip

rock. You know, I'm not one for hikes either. Let's also keep in mind that I just had jaw surgery a month ago, and we decided to do this. Yeah, Lauren was basically fresh out of a coma. Yeah. And she was doing not very well at all. So we invited the whole office.

And at the time, this was almost a year and a half ago now, or a year ago. Yeah. At the time, Taylor was dating another Swedish woman who we heard that story. She ran off to Sweden. Never to be heard from again. And so we went on this hike. And, you know, I would say it's difficult, but it's not really. It's just kind of like you're walking up a hill for a long time.

And I have never, I'm wearing this shirt today. It says 0% complaining. This would, if Taylor was wearing this shirt that day, it would say 1 million percent complaining. I have never seen somebody cry and complain more walking in my life. He complained the whole three hours up, the whole three hours down. Not only did he complain complain he took his backpack off stomped away like a three-year-old and threw a fucking tantrum and made his girlfriend carry dude this girl was like a pack mule she had all of his shit on her back strapped like a sherpa

you sat down on the on the on the um rock and refused to walk like you thought we were all gonna carry you. You actually asked me to look into, like, a helicopter that could come get you off the mountain. Not joking. Dead serious. He did. Do Ubers go up mountains? I'm tired. No, he would have paid. To this day, he claims this didn't happen,

but we all, like, we all convinced it did. We have, like, a picture of somebody. Like, in the office, we have all these pictures of people in weird positions and we cut their heads off and put taylor's head so we we have a picture of somebody life fighting somebody like in one of those like body bags down a mountain but i swear to god i saw him get on like you know the cart they bring up for people that are having heat strokes and he says he wasn't on it but i swear to god i visually remember seeing you on the cart going down the side of the hill it was the uh what is it the rangers yeah okay so you're admitting

it now because for the longest time he claimed he didn't do it and he actually walked and i'm like no man i think it was only for like a little part though all your ex-girlfriend wanted to do when she came to san diego was hike once a month that's all she asked to do and you took her on one hike that's honestly my nightmare it was terrible i i hated every second we know we remember number one like natural lighting is like my biggest fear so like that's out and then the i've gone to runyon three times like in i've lived here seven years i've gone three times what's it like? Well, the first time I went, I thought walking up to it, I'm like, oh my god, I'm so tired.

So I thought we had done it. And they're like, no, we just now got to the front entrance. I just thought walking up to it, I thought that was Runyon. I was like, there's a lot more concrete on Runyon than I expected. And they're like, no, we just got to the front. I was like, oh no, no, I'm out. I'm good. I was just like, do you guys want got to the front. I was like, oh no, no, I'm out. I'm good. I was just like, do you guys want to go on Runyon for your third date?

I'd rather go to a live donkey show than go to Runyon on a date. I would go to a donkey show. I hope, oh my God. Do those really exist? They sure do. I will say Taylor's very interesting on a date where on the first date we didn't do the,

like, so where are you from? Like, what do you do? Like, I've talked about things I've never had a conversation with about, like, with anybody. Give us an example. Did he talk about, like, aliens on Mars? Like, what do you mean? Oh, no, I forgot. I have to tell you the story.

No, he's been teasing this, like, alien story where, like, he's. Oh, we forgot. This is the episode where Taylor's going to tell us about Catette. We are. We're going to get into that. So I want to get into two things. We have to take a quick break. But when I come back, first, I want to talk about this gem empire that you've now created.

I'm waiting for my royalties because I have basically been the spark to ignite a gem empire. And then we are going to hear about Catette, which I'm excited. Annabelle, I know this story, but I'm excited for you to hear it, and I'm excited for everybody else here, because This has been being teased for a long time. Lauren hasn't heard it either, and it is, he told this story on my bachelor party, and honestly, I think it was the highlight of the

bachelor party. It's that good. It was funny. This was the highlight of Canada, was the Catette story? Yes. What were other highlights? We'll glaze over it. We'll move on. We've got to get into the break. I'm John Horne.

I'm the host of Geffen Playhouse Unscripted. I'm here with our very first guest, Rainn Wilson. Hi, John. Looks like I'm the first guest on the Geffen Unclothed. Unscripted. Unscripted. Yeah, let's go with that. A marriage made in heaven, I guess.

Or Westwood. Tune in for some of our exciting upcoming guests, David Copperfield, Neil LaButte, Neil Patrick Harris, Josh Gad, Rita Wilson, and many more. Be sure to download new episodes every Wednesday on the Podcast One app and on iTunes. And don't forget to rate, review, and share. And I'm Rainn Wilson, the first guest. You were the very first guest. This was a huge mistake. Of Gaff and Playhouse Unscripted.

Huge mistake. This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her. Just like that, we are back. We are also on Instagram Live. You can see everyone right there. And we are going to keep everyone on live for five more minutes. And then Taylor's going to turn it off when he starts to tell his cadet story. But before we do that, I want to know before Michael gets into his gem business.

Tell us about Spencer Pratt. Because you just had him on your podcast. And he is so fucking funny. I'm still recovering. Like, were you dying? When we walked out of there, Megan and I, like, our friend who set it up, she was like, so what was your favorite part? And I was like, I do not remember anything that we said.

And so when people are like, you don't remember your wedding day that that's probably the closest i'll ever get to like my wedding day ever so you were so excited because we were so excited also he just he's such a good talker yeah he really like holds his own i feel like he needs like a comedy show don't you think i find him really funny i would pay for 24 7 like those live cam girls whatever i would totally pay that for Spencer. I can't really tell. Like, so I don't know. I'll tell you about an interaction I had with Spencer a long time ago, probably 10 years ago, which is we'll get into that in a minute. But I can't, Lauren, I didn't, I don't really, I haven't heard much about him in a long time.

Not to say anything, but she showed me his Snapchat and he has baby hummingbirds. Yes. Okay. showed me his snapchat and he has baby hummingbirds okay um i can't tell if this is like alan an act or if like he's super into hummingbirds no he's super into them what do you mean that's a very strange thing to be into his pigeons right exactly yeah that's yeah except like pigeons you can like train to do things like what the hell can i mean listen i'm not i hope the hummingbird community doesn't come after me but what can you do with hummingbirds what do you mean there's a lot of things you feed do with hummingbirds. You feed them the nectar.

Are you kidding me? You feed them out of the little syringe. It's like what you do with, like, dogs. No, no, no, no, no. You cannot compare. Don't be all judgy over here with your chihuahuas. You cannot compare dogs to hummingbirds. Wait, you don't think you can have a therapy support hummingbird to take on a flight with you?

Says the guy who's wearing my chihuahua's claws around his neck. That was such a brilliant gift. I thought a pet psychic was original. That holds nothing to your chihuahua claw. Thank you. I got her claws molded, her actual molds blown up in a bear claw. And I think it's really judgy of him to be making fun of hummingbirds when he's wearing chihuahua nails around his neck. Okay, listen. If he's into hummingbirds and he's happy like great like i'm actually happy

for the guy i hope everybody's happy everyone's happy and it shows some serious growth because the first time i met spencer and he's probably not going to hear this but if he does he'll i'm sure he won't remember it maybe he will but the first time i met him we were down in cabo about 10 years ago lauren was running around i was running around it was like a whole spring break for our high school. But we weren't dating. No, we weren't dating. And I don't know what happened,

but one of my buddies really pissed him off. Like, really pissed him off. Was it Taylor? No, it wasn't Taylor. Oh. It was my buddy Mikey. Similar to Taylor. Similar to Taylor.

And the next thing I knew, you know, like the stairs? I don't know if anybody's ever been to Squid Row. Have you been to Squid Row in Cabo? No. Okay. They got this, like a rector set club like one time I saw a girl this is a side story one time I saw a girl

fall down the side of the club and they like had to bring out this giant wrench and take the whole club apart we're talking about Spencer and Honeymoon so anyways we're on these stairs

and he somehow my friend Mikey just pissed him off and I had never seen anyone kick someone in the stomach faster in my life Spencer did kicked him right down the stairs he wasn't very hummingbirds then like then so he he must kick someone in the stomach faster in my life. Spencer did. Kicked him right down the stairs.

He wasn't very hummingbirds then like Ben. He must have not had any hummingbirds in his life back then because he was pretty pissed off. Wait, so I want to know about Spencer. So this was before the hills? This was like before. And the funny thing is you'd think that I would be pissed off about it, but I thought it was so goddamn

funny that Spencer kicked my buddy in the stomach down the stairs that I just could not stop laughing. But anyway, that was my last interaction with him, so you know, hope he's doing well. Okay, so tell us about your latest interaction, because he has eczema. Yes, I'm very, like, I saw that he was in Beverly, it looks like Beverly Hills. See, oh no, now I'm the stalker. Now I'm going to write him a weird

poem. No, write him a poem. Taylor can help you. Taylor, I need you to be my ghost writer. I need you to be my Cyrano de Bergerac for my poem to Spencer. We can have, we can, you can be oriented around humming at that. Taylor, I need you to be my ghostwriter. I need you to be my Cyrano de Bergerac for my poem, Nispenser. We can have, we can, you can be oriented around hummingbirds and the joy it brings to your heart. See? Ooh, you already got it going.

And I don't mean it in like a sexual way. I'm not like romantically attracted. Like, I'm not attracted to him in that way, but I'm obsessed with him. No, I know what you're saying. Like, he, I was, I like, it was, you know how sometimes you'll listen to a podcast and you'll stop it in the middle and go back to it? I could not stop listening to this podcast that you did with him just because I felt like one I thought the chemistry was really on between these three and I love when the chemistry

is on and two he's just like he's a character man he's so much fun because at first I thought like the same thing like you thought Michael of like I didn't know if it was just like a bit or if he was just like exaggerating it or how much he was like playing it up for Snapchat. I'm like, no, that's absolutely him. Like, he's not even trying to be entertaining or like not even trying to do jokes. Like, that's just naturally him. And he didn't kick you in the stomach. No, I probably would have been fine with it, honestly.

And then like, it was worth it. You probably got him so many Snapchat followers because I went and followed a Snapchat right away. I promoted his Snapchat more than I promoted myself in anything. If I worked as hard on my school career, on my career, on anything, as hard as I've worked on trying to get Southern Charm Renewed and Spencer Pratt's Snapchat going, I'd be on top of the world. Okay, so speaking of working hard, though, you are crushing it with your crystal and

candle business. I've seen you keep selling out thanks to this is thanks to michael this is what i have to deal with every day we literally i'm like oh yeah the skinny confidential and he's like i'm i'm i've been sitting here i've been like i check the mailbox every goddamn day for that big gem royalty check and it's just it's not there i go taylor did you check the mail today he said yeah every like, yeah, every day I walk away. I check it every day. I feel like Taylor doesn't even want to go out with me. You're just sending him out for me to get the residual check. I'm like, yo, go through her files and see where we're at, man.

I'm actually the one that buys all the crystals just under names. So you're sending them out and I'm hoarding them all in this container. That wouldn't surprise me. You guys do a really good- You guys do a record collection moment. You guys do a really great job of advertising them, especially Taylor, so thank you. I love your crystals and your Adderall necklace

that you gave me. I think all your stuff is so cute. It's all because of you guys. I'm actually dead serious, though. So I actually want to know, is this a real, you're doing this now? Yeah, I've made more money with this than I ever did with writing.

You see, we'll give, out of all the crazy shit in this show, we'll give a we literally, you took an idea, you were talking about it for a long time, and you made a business out of it. Right? Yeah, it was after I did your podcast, and then the next day I look up to you guys so much

with business and so many things, but especially I think you guys are so brilliant with your career and the empire that you've built. So when I see what you guys have done, it's so inspiring. So when we were walking out, Michael was like, yeah, you should totally sell them. And I was like, mm, okay. And then the next day I just started selling them, and it worked.

But you like selling them. She loves selling them. Right? Yeah. Like you love crystals. It's my dream job. I'm sitting without a bra on my couch with my cats watching Wendy Williams stuffing crystals in bags. That's amazing.

Okay, but I want to tell the audience really quick, and then we'll get into the Quetette story. What I like about what you did is you took something that people would maybe classify as a hobby, which is loving crystals, and you spun it into this very niche business. And that is my favorite thing to do. I love someone finds something that's different and and does it like the way you've done it is like so well branded it's so cute you did it in your own way on your own terms and you beat to the tune of your own drum so i think that's incredible no it's awesome and the next thing you can do is you can do a collaboration now with spencer proud who i also hear is a crystal fiend and you guys hummingbird do hummingbird crystals shaped like hummingbirds.

Yes. Oh my God, that's such a good idea. It could be like Adderall and compliment crystal. Is it true that he wasted like millions of dollars on crystals? Yeah. Or is that not true? I mean, wasted is, you know. You could say I wasted lots of money on vinyl.

Well, Taylor, you did waste tons of money on vinyl. That's a proven fact. And you waste time on poems. Hey, no, you did waste tons of money on vinyl. That's a proven fact. And you waste time on poems. Hey, no, I got every juice out of that little... He did spend millions of dollars on crystals. So that's what he says. I don't think he's lying. I feel like he's a very...

And see, it all works because look at how magical he is. It's true. You've got to listen to his podcast, honey. You'd like it. I'm telling you. I didn't know he had one. He has a podcast? No, he's on Annabelle's podcast.

No, I know that. Okay, yeah. He needs to have his own. Even Spencer's GIFs is starting to jump on the bandwagon. Literally, she's got the attention of Spencer's GIFs if they're trying to compete against her now. That's like her direct competitor. I'll extend. If he came on the show, the only way that I would want it to happen is if he walked in and kicked you in the stomach.

I would do it. I would laugh. I'd go, thank you. That'd be like the invitation. If he came in and did you in the stomach. I would do it. I would laugh. I'd go, thank you. That'd be the only, that'd be like the invitation. If he came in and did that, then shit, man. If he did the podcast, I would want him to bring all his crystals on the table so I could feel the energy. I mean, I wanted, like, I needed to make sure that I got the perfect crystal for him to,

like, welcome him and thank him into the podcast. So I was so, like, I was so nervous. I don't know how you picked out your wedding dress, like how long it took you, but I debated like what crystals to give him for like two months. And what was it? I finally ended up giving him this really big amethyst with a quartz point in the middle, and it's really, really pretty.

It was like ten pounds. Wow. I know. You gave him a ten pound crystal? Taylor doesn't get shit for crystals, huh? Wow. Ten pounds. That is a lot. That's a big one. It is a big one. It's not the first time i've heard that either so i want to hear about katat i want to kind of quarterback this and lead him down the path of this story because we built it up and i really i don't you know i don't want

to let i don't want it to be a letdown so many years ago before tay Taylor worked with me, he worked as an art dealer. I worked for one of the biggest art galleries, and they are located basically in Europe, the United States, and in all the major cruise lines around the world. Okay. So he's working for this art gallery, and they work on cruise ships. And the whole idea is that they would put someone like Taylor onto this cruise ship. And then he would go around on the cruise ship trying to sell this high-end art to all of the wealthy people on the cruise. Right? So technically this. So I was a land coordinator for the art auctions that took place in the United States.

And the land coordinators are the higher end of the company. And then there are the cruise ships. So there's the land, and then there's the sea. But technically, they're not the same. All right. Okay, so land and sea, not the same. Got it. Okay, so they decide Taylor is going to go sell art to the rich people on the cruise ship.

And so he goes to get on the ship, and there's multiple entrances for the ship, okay? And there's, like, entrance for the business class, it's for the regular passengers there's entrance for the staff and then there's kind of like the titanic yeah a little bit but and then there's an entrance for not like when i say staff till how would you describe the staff like that's like the captain the you know the chefs the the people that you would see on the cruise as you're interacting yeah so it's like the the the people that you see that interact with the actual guests. For instance, like the dancers, the comedians, the captain, the first mate, all the – Basically the people that the cruise lines aren't ashamed of.

Right. That they put out there. And then there's the other entrance. Which is basically they're the – what would be the crew. It's either the crew or the staff. Maybe I'm kind of backwards. They're in the engineering room. Yeah, they're like the engineers or the people that work, that do the maintenance on the side of the boat.

They're the ones that you never see, and they actually have walkways that go throughout the entire ship that are never in the public. You'll never see them, and if you do, it's very rare. You're not supposed to see them. You're not supposed to see them because the ships are it's built off a caste system. So the captain is like the number one and then it goes all the way down and you have to abide by the by basically the caste system that they have set up. When you get out to sea, it's captain's rules. Like he's basically the. And the sea is different from the land.

Yes. Apparently. So technically, when I was going on the ship, I was going as a coordinator for a VIP auction that technically was – there was still the standard event that was taking place that happens every day on the ship. But then there was the VIP show, which is what I was being brought on for. He's supposed to be like the host interacting with all these people. I love it. So technicality error. So technically –

How many times are you going to say technically before I lose my marbles? Not too many. So Knucklehead here is not paying attention, and he decides to go in the entrance with all the crew that is not to be seen. So what happens is when I show up, and I have to get issued a badge as an art steward, is what it's called. So I'm going through the line, and because I have to be able to go and observe the artwork coming in the ship, they were saying, okay, you need to be labeled as both, as basically the crew and the staff. But because the mismatching of the names of what the job title was, I got labeled as what would consider the people that do the maintenance like shoveling the coal inside of the So you'd be in like steerage Basically. Like if you see the movie Titanic

and all the guys are down there like greasy and all the black grease all of them are like shoveling the coal that's basically like what he got classified I want like everyone to have a visual of him So you'd be like the people who drown first like when it starts happening One hole goes in the ship and he's under You guys are out. Like you have life.

Like he's lower than the rats. Exactly. And also there's, if you think about it, there are, it's a lot of the, don't speak English because it's,

I want to say it was about 80% Indonesians. So not only is it just, am I down there with people that I'm not even supposed to be in this area, but they're heavily Indonesian or foreigners. There's a language barrier. Huge language barrier.

How pilgrim-y are you? Exactly. You're right, actually, if you think about it. So I get on the ship, and immediately I notice that there is, like, everyone else that I showed up with, which was basically the team that I normally work with. You notice when you're in your three-piece suit and you're around a bunch of Indonesians that something was amiss? Well, they're ushering us through, and're checking the because you have to register and they go okay everybody go this way and i they go okay no you have to go

this way and i go wait a second i'm supposed to go that way and they're like no you're not this is what your your badge says and i go i know but i'm supposed to go that way and they go yeah that's fine it was basically he was going okay okay, whatever, buddy. Whatever you say. Okay, so you get directed to the wrong area. Let me just, the reason that this story, it's going to get even, I mean, trust me, this gets deeper. But the reason that this story is so amazing is because if this happened to me or Annabelle or Lauren, at the first sign that I realized I was surrounded by a bunch of Indonesians that didn't speak English and that I was being catered into the bowels of the ship.

I would say, yo, man, like, I don't think so. And I would turn the other way and say, listen, there's a mistake. I'm not taking one step earlier. But no, not you. You decide, OK, you know, I'm going to play this out. I'm going to go deeper here. Well, because the auctioneer who is the he's basically the guy who runs the show was saying, don't worry, I'll get it.

I'll handle it. Just deal with it for just a little bit. That was I think that was, you know, he probably thought of that for a second. And then again, that'll show up in the story. Yeah, exactly. So so I go down on the ship and they basically say, OK, we're working on it. They were never working on it, but they said, OK, you need to put your bags down into your room. And they I literally go down probably

down to probably the bottom of the ship i don't know and they bring me in this room and it's i want to say there's about three or four bunk beds with four people on it and it's all just stacked with indonesian people not that it's nothing to do with the race i'm just it's it's to the story because i there's no i don't speak their language so i'm in there and it was there was actually a canadian guy that ushered me in and he he said, hey, this is where your bunk is. And I go, this is not my bunk. I go, I'm only supposed to be – I'm supposed to have a room. I'm supposed to be treated as a guest.

I was supposed to have a room on the ship, my own nice room. I'm saying that there's a mistake here. And he goes, yeah, okay, buddy. Like, you know, this is where you're at. And he goes, do you know how to – do you know how to – all the emergency protocols and this and that? I go, I don't. I'm not part of the ship. I don't work for the cruise line because the people who do the other one work for the actual cruise line.

I do not. And I was – But so like he – so just to like set the stage here, he thinks you're lying to him. He thinks you're trying to get – he thinks that he's trying to get out of the bowels of the ship. And he's like, good one, buddy. This employee has delusions of grandeur. Like, you're down here, bud. Like, you're not going up to the buffet.

Winky wink. It's like someone who signed up for the military on accident. And they just go, OK, yeah, of course, it's going to be really easy. And they just sell you one. OK, so you're in a room with basically eight people stacked on top of each other. And you're still not making a stink, really. Not yet, because still, it was just the first day. So I show up there.

And I put my bag on there. And they're to you know introduce or say hi to me in their dialect that i don't understand and i'm just going yeah like nice to meet you but you're not going to be seen you'll never see me again so i'm not even you know hi goodbye i'm leaving you here and and then and then let's okay so you're there you're freaked at this point you freaked out a little not yet so but then we have orientation so yeah so this is where this is where i first meet katat so katat is my he was the he was the actual art steward on the ship and he was from indonesia so that he was the person that was supposed to do all the communications back and forth so he failed now i actually first meet i meet the first person

that goes okay hi like i'm katat I work for the art gallery on the ship. You are the art. He was the only one that understood the differences between everything. But he couldn't do shit for you. He couldn't do anything for me. So he goes, okay, whatever. They'll get it strained out. But he took you under his wing like a father figure.

I have to sit in this orientation about people who, you know, what the safety protocols are for the ship, what everything is. And the captain, I don't know why he oh actually i know why it's because the the entire auditorium was all indonesians and people from other countries and he single-handedly picked me out because i'm obviously i'm not from there and i had to go down there in front of everybody and you know do like cpr on this dog this doll and and spray this fire like you know in case of a fire pull the pin of the fire hydrant and pretend like there's a fire. So I keep telling him, he walks me down there and I look at the whole audience and I go, I don't work for the ship.

I don't know why they do this. The audience doesn't care. They can't understand you. The audience couldn't understand one word you were saying. So again, same thing. Just the whole time they're looking at me going, why do we care? I think they thought that I signed the contract with the ship and then was trying to back out on it. So that's why they were going like, tough shit.

You can't do anything about it. Once you're out to sea, like there's no U.S. laws. You're out to sea. That's why – usually you have to sign a contract to go out on the ship. So I think they were thinking that maybe I just backed out. So what did they – so then let's speed along. What did they tell you in this orientation? Because this is the part where I started losing my marbles.

This is the part where i was just like well so okay so this was me i don't need i would i would probably try to like dive off the ship and take my chances okay so well actually well after after that part we we would walk through and i actually saw the team the event coordinator team of the people that i was supposed to be working with and they're all sitting down and they're eating wait is this after they told you all the stuff about like venereal diseases and everything? Oh, yeah. That's later.

That's after I get – I know where you're going. That comes up in a little bit. So that was a private orientation. So we're walking – It was just for me. No, because after that, then you have to go through the medical side, which nobody else has to do. As a guest, they don't put you through medical. But when we were walking by, I saw everybody out.

And they're all sitting down there like having cocktails out on the deck, eating and drinking, and they're all laughing. And I go, oh, my God, there they are, and I'm supposed to be there. And I try to go out there to say, hey, what's going on? Did you get my room yet? And I run out there, basically look like a crazy person that ran out because I ran out of the halls that you're not supposed to leave. And I run out, and I go go hey like where's my room and the like the security guards because i i'm the art steward badge comes out and they go excuse me you can't be here and i go no no i can't i'm like where have you guys made any room for my for my or have you gotten my room yet and they go it doesn't matter they're like

we're working on it as they're like eating you know sucking down cocktails out on the deck so they're sucking we're working on it yeah exactly like we're working on it as they're like eating you know sucking down cocktails out on the deck so they're sucking we're working on it yeah exactly like we're working on don't worry about it and i'm going like no i'm supposed to be there and they go yeah i'm sure buddy like i'm sure and they go yeah taylor don't worry well he said he'll have it together in like you know a couple hours so they basically they like base they like escort me back into the bowels of the ship again as i as they're all sitting there laughing and having a great time on this cruise ship so next thing i have to go to this medical and it's the standard medical they're all sitting there laughing and having a great time on this cruise ship. So next thing I have to go to this medical. And it's the standard medical.

They're testing me for disease. So, and again, so I sit there and I'm going, again, I don't know. I go in the room and it's the standard little doctor. And they go, okay, like, pull your pants down. I go, wait a second. What? I'm why? Wait, wait, what?

And then, you know, you grab the scrotum. He's like the cough thing. I had to do all that. And they're like, I. I would literally pay as much money as I could possibly pay to watch this. So it's not supposed to happen. They thought, again, that I was... But it's happening. Yeah, it's happening. Going through lots of cells of art.

So I'm going, wait a second, this isn't right. And they go, okay, it doesn't matter. Pull your pants down. And they go, are you sexually active? And I'm like, what does this have to do with anything? They go, well, there's big... So, you know, venereal disease is huge on the ship and they say so it's running rampant i don't like it's running rampant they're like only in the boat they're like they're like i want to say it's about 80 of venereal diseases is around here so like if you choose a partner like you know make

sure to use condoms and i pull out this like big drawer and it's just stacked with condoms and they give me a bunch of them they go like you know make sure like if you're gonna hit the sheets you know wrap it up tight type of thing again so i had to go through the medical and definitely i felt violated again because i wasn't supposed to i was supposed to be on like a vacation supposed to be like kind of like a nice leisure you thought you're gonna be having a pina colada or mai tai yeah selling art making a shit ton of money and next thing you know you're getting venereal diseases with your scrotum held so we go down after that i go back down to the ship again and And I show up again. All the Indonesians are looking at me like, ha, like, told you you'd be back.

And I'm going like, okay, like, again, like, I'm not going to sleep here. I'm not sleeping here. It's fine. I'm supposed to have a nice room. They go like, okay, whatever, buddy. And this trip actually was on the weekend of Thanksgiving. Because the next day, it took two days of the seven for them to be able to straighten this whole thing out. So the first night, this was the first night of dinner because the second one was was thanksgiving

that's how the store okay so we're again so we go down to the to the mess hall as they would say and there's two sides there's the side where all the crew and then there's another side where all the staff eat and because the staff is a majority of indonesians it's all like pigs feet eyeballs all this really really like what would be ethnic heavy ethnic food and then the other one it's just it's anything that you would love like pizza pasta like little like captain crunch those little mini boxes that used to come in the in the in the mailbox like cap captain crunch goal you know any delicious kid cereal you can think of everything it that's amazing, like ice cream. They've got ice cream dispensers.

It's just this amazing plethora of food. And that's where I want to eat because that's the type of food that I eat regularly. Not the unhealthy one. Captain Crunch from the mailbox? So, again, I sneak in there. And, again, they just know because the people that are trained to look in – it must happen all the time. Because literally I walked in there and I grabbed the tray like I'm going through the aisle like, ooh, cool, like Captain Crunch. And I'm going to grab this slice of pizza.

And as I'm going through the line, again, same thing. There's two guys. And they go, okay, like let me take the tray for you. And they grabbed it and they escorted me back to the line that that i had to eat which was the you know heavily cultured food so okay so we now we have a very clear picture of what's going how many days does this last before it's two days so it was technically two two nights so i'm sitting there again in the katai everyone i felt really bad i remember sitting there again i wanted at this point i'm like i'm so frustrated i wanted to start crying so like because i'm sitting there again in the Qatar. I feel really bad. I remember sitting there. Again, at this point, I'm like, I'm so frustrated.

I want to start crying. So like because I'm sitting there going, this is so frustrating. I'm not supposed to be here. Why am I here? And I'm surrounded by all these people that don't speak English other than Qatar. And again, I made this plate of stuff. And it's the very standard thing where I'm sitting there with food that I don't know. And Qatar looks at me, goes like, are you going to eat that?

And I go like, eat what? I don't even know what it is. And he goes like here. And they all, you know, all the Indonesians like goes like are you gonna eat that and i go like eat what i don't even know what it is and he goes like here and they all you know all the indonesians like grab it and they all eat everything so i don't even think i ate dinner there i'm sitting there basically going this is so this is frustrating i'm really sad so the first night i actually spent the night in the bunk bed with again all the guys that i kept telling i'm not you're never gonna see me again so same thing that's right we're all bunking We're all bunking up. So all bunking up. The second day was the actual, at that point I knew like shit was wrong. Wait, wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.

This is, this is, this is the difference. Like this is the, this is the foundational like core difference between you and I. How do you not look around right off the bat and say something's amiss here? Nobody speaks English. I'm supposed to be selling art. These don't look like the buyers. What's going on? Well, I guess the reason, the only reason I let it get to that point was because, again,

everybody on the other, the actual team that I was working for kept saying, don't worry, it's under, we're working on it. So I just kept, I had to take their word for it. And the cell phones don't work because you're out at sea. So I couldn't really do anything because I couldn't interact with them. I couldn't get out. And whenever I did, they just kept saying, we put the request into the captain. The captain has to approve it.

Okay. So you spend the first night with eight other people in a bunk bed with Catette. The next morning you wake up. Okay. So the next morning we were able to get off the ship. So I got off the ship. So the second day there wasn't too much going on but the second night or that night was again when they they usher me back on the ship and again so the people get to go on the standard route and

everyone else is out and they're going around running on jet skis and doing all the fun stuff again that i can't i can't do because i'm again i'm late i'm labeled as as the staff so i'm just we're basically sitting down and i see everybody and everybody, and they're snorkeling and riding around the jet skis and having all this fun. Again, but I can't do it because, again, I'm supposed to be working. So they're saying, you're supposed to be working. I felt like a slave, in a sense. Go like, what are you doing? It's a little dramatic.

It's a little dramatic. Get back to where you're supposed to be. It's a very harsh working condition. Oh, my God. I can't even with that. Very, very harsh working conditions. So, Annabelle, is that third date still on? I mean, I want to know more about how you were a sex slave on a cruise ship

with Catette. With 80% venereal disease running around. So, the second night I was actually, was Thanksgiving. Weirdly enough. And usually I spend it with family. Everyone usually spends Thanksgiving with family. And you're supposed to... They had this big feast and this big gathering you had a new family at this point and exactly i couldn't they wouldn't let me eat it or they wouldn't let me at the at

the party because again same thing i'm just not allowed to go out in public i had to go someone one of my friends brought me down like this little tiny like plate of thanksgiving because he knew the scenario and i kept trying to tell him, listen, I've got to get out of here. I need to get out of this area, but they're very strict about it. You're not in lockup abroad. You might as well be. It's not like bringing you a tray. I know how serious it is.

Really, when you're in there, you're not getting out until they come get you. You can't just go, oh, hey, they probably have just detained me and thrown me in a prison cell, which probably would have been about the same thing as what I was experiencing. Might have been better, actually. Honestly, it probably would have. Okay, so you eat your scrotum Thanksgiving. Yeah, no, no.

So he gives me the plate through the door, and he goes, here, I know you're having difficulties. And I go, yeah, I am. And he goes, sorry. And I hear, again like the big party everyone's like having fun like oh like is that Taylor and like look through the door and I'm like sitting there like sweating like in the back of the ship and he's like oh like whoa like I thought this was supposed to get taken care of and I'm like yeah it's supposed to like oh like

well maybe it should be soon so they gave me the plate and I go back down there in the in the in the ship I'm like sitting on the bunk bed, and again, there's all these Indonesians around me, and I'm on the bunk bed sitting there. And I'm looking around, thinking of all the fun everyone's having, all of the fun I should have been having, and all of this cruise ship was terrible. I'm out at sea by myself, and I'm sitting there eating pumpkin pie, and I remember I just start bawling. He broke down. Crying. So I'm out at sea in a room. Give us a reenactment.

You're eating pumpkin pie. It was like sniffling. There's flakes of pumpkin popping out. It was like upper lip quivering, sniveling, tears. So I'm sitting there going like. And again, they're looking at me. No, no, keep going, keep going. I remember everyone was looking at me like, what?

They're like, yeah, this guy is definitely not cut out for sea like couldn't you know like couldn't couldn't make the cut so because they're all like hardened men and they do this stuff they like they go out on cranes on the side of the ship and they fix it so okay i'm sitting there god if you would have gone out on a crane on the side of the ship i would have sort of made the whole it would have been like the best i would i wish you, I'd maybe make up that part of the story. So keep crying. So I'm crying, eating the food. And Katut just thought it was funny because, again, he knows everybody.

So it was two days of shit. And then finally the next day they go, oh, well, guess what? We fixed it. Everything's all taken care of. But I honestly think I might have been emotionally scarred. You were like Tom Hanks when they rescued him from the island like i remember i found when i got the room cast away yeah cast away i don't think i like using castaway references on this show i don't know if you guys picked sometimes like i use the one where they like bashes his teeth out with the ice skate oh god yeah that's a good one too so did you make like a little wilson so you had like a

white friend that you could talk to? It was Katut. He made it up in his head. It wasn't even a real person. That's the end of the story. I haven't seen Katut in a while, but I actually have I have my art badge and it says Art Stewart from USA, Taylor, and then I have photos. I need to develop them because I don't remember what Katut looked like.

I just remember he was a really short Indonesian man. I think he was a figment of your imagination. I want to develop the pictures. Yeah, let's develop those. So, Annabelle, we have a surprise for you. Date number three is a three-day cruise with Taylor. Don't worry.

Three days on a floating Walmart, a.k.a. a cruise. I'm not a cruise fan. How many paintings did you sell after all of this? I don't think. I mean, the VIPs sold, I mean, there was, you got to realize, during the whole time this was taking place, it was, I think it was a seven-day cruise, and if it had been the entire seven days, I probably would have jumped off the ship. You know, and I think that happens all the time, where they go, we lost another one. That's a little dramatic.

You got to eat pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving. Like, it's not like you were like. Yeah, but it was... You only got one or two venereal diseases. Yeah, I was eating pumpkin pie in the bowels of a ship when basically I was shoveling coal into the fire to keep the steam engines going. I mean, all you got was syphilis.

We had a VD rate of 80% after Taylor left. It's 100%. It was horrible. It was one of the worst experiences, but looking back, I think it's funny because a lot of people when you go on cruises they're sold as so much fun and you see all these smiles and now whenever I see a cruise

commercial all I can think of is sadness. Well you just killed every possibility of us ever getting a cruise sponsor. Thanks for that. Why didn't you try to be like the auctioneer? Did the auctioneer do the cool auctioneer voice? No they never did actually surprisingly. A lot of them were from England but they never really did. I feel like it waseer? Did the auctioneer do the cool auctioneer voice? No, they never did, actually, surprisingly. A lot of them were from England, but they never really did.

I feel like it was just a thing with the group. They're like, well, let's just get rid of Taylor. Like, Taylor, we're working on it. Just like drinking and seeing your frogs. Like, oh my God. No, you know what? I think they were doing it. Can you imagine like Titanic?

Like Rose and like, Rose's mom was with like her whole posse in the corner. Like, I hope. They're like, get out of here with like a water gun. Like what you do to the cats. Like, get back. Get back, peasant. F corner like a hope. They're like, get out of here with a water gun. Like what you do to the cats. Get back. Get back, peasant. Fetch me a flock. Now I think about it, they probably did do it intentionally to go like, let's just see how long

he can handle. We'll just let this play out. The fact that you saw them, they're like, we're working on it. Yeah, that's what they were. They're like, oh yeah. We're working on it. Another Mai Tai over here. That is exactly how it was. That's what made it so difficult is because i saw the contrast of where i was supposed to be you know what it reminds me of is uh a christmas or christmas carol where uh what is the guy jimny cricket oh no that's tiny tim tiny tim no no the old guy

where they take ebenezer scrooge and they like take him back and like this is how life could have been okay it was it was a day like ghost him back and like this is how life could have been. Okay. It was a day. It was in your like ghost of Christmas past of like where your life could have been. That's what it was like. It was like they were showing me like this is where you should be but you're not. You're in the bowels of the ship. So. All right.

So that's the story of Cotette. If any of you guys know Cotette. Please let us know. We're looking for him. He's my dream podcast guest. I had my sights set on Spencer and now I. You got to have Spencer on again. and if you can find Coutette... I've got to tell you, between Spencer and Coutette, I'm leaning towards Coutette.

I feel like he has so many stories. I feel like you need to get another cat and name him Coutette. Coutette Tuxedo. I think that one of these days, you've got to have Taylor and Michael without me on your podcast. I mean, it's... I was jealous last time lauren was on i was sneaking in the background we heard you you made a he like i know i want her on the podcast all the time but and then you were just like pulling like a pk in beverly hills like he was

just going back and forth your podcasts are really funny i i like the the chemistry between you and megan when i listen i think oh i would love to i would have said this if like i imagine i bet you'd be like i would have loved to go out with Megan. No, no. What I mean is I imagine that I'm in that and I go, I would have added such good flavor. Or flair. Wait, so you imagine that you're Megan? You should do a podcast

with us. I finally got a third microphone. The crystals are selling so well, I could afford a third microphone. That's cool. I love it. Okay, well, I'm going to go have a conversation off the podcast with Taylor about this story about Ketut. Because I have a couple questions. We are off. If you guys want to check out Annabelle, you can find her on iTunes.

And tell everyone where they can find you on social media. Oh, they can find me on Instagram at Annabelle DeSisto. And they can find me on Twitter at AnnabelleLee417. I cannot get over your Twitter name. It's, like, amazing. me on Instagram at Annabelle DeSisto and they can find me on Twitter at AnnabelleLee417. I cannot get over your Twitter name. It's like amazing. It reminds me of AIM. It's so embarrassing. I have eight bots of me on Twitter that

started like years ago, like five years ago like when I was doing radio. People were like, well, which Annabelle are you? And I started getting complaints from comedians because there was like so many different bots and like it's my same picture and they like took like this one I used to write like joke tweets and they would take a couple of the real ones and then they would just

tag a bunch of people like spamming them and so comedians would be like can you stop spamming me I'm like it's not me and it was like shitty enough as if like I have fake accounts they had me in like Nebraska and like no offense to like your listeners in Nebraska but just like in weird places I'm like I can't even be in like Paris or any cool place like I'm in

Jacksonville. They couldn't even give me that. It's okay. Your screen name could be worse. It could be at TalesYouDie727. TalesYouDie is good. He kept writing... What did he do? He kept writing into the Instagram

live and making... He was just like, oh my god, there's this really annoying girl. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. She thought it was a girl, a tailsy guy? Well, she's like, this girl's really obsessed with Taylor. Because I guess he was just writing in questions about himself. Yeah, because I was just joking. I was like sending like, she did a podcast live and I was commenting.

And Megan just would kept, she kept scrolling over him. And so I just kept going like she must not be seeing them and I was driving and Megan was doing the Instagram live so I couldn't see any of the stuff and she doesn't know Taylor's I don't know how it's possible that I've known you since you were 12 and you just get creepier

and creepier but it is all right you guys subscribe to the skinny confidential him and her podcast rate us review us tell a friend. And with that, we will see you next week with another special guest, my sister. Thanks for listening to the Skinny Confidential Him and Her with Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic. Download new episodes every Tuesday at PodcastOne.com or subscribe now on the Podcast One app.