The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - #59: The Evarts Family w/ Brad Evarts, Julie Evarts, & Myles McKeown-Evarts -How to Get a Man, Blending Families, & Marriage Tips

Episode Date: April 18, 2017

Brad Evarts, Julie Evarts, & Myles McKeown-Evarts join Lauryn & Michael for a family discussion about what it was like growing up in a blended family, parenting styles, not settling, the importance of getting involved in your partners interests, how young people can blend their lives in a productive way, and why being a team in a marriage is key. To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn’s latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you’ll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

Thanks for downloading this show from PC1. Before we get rolling, here's a word from one of the folks who helped bring you this podcast. The following program is a PodcastOne.com presentation. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness.

Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her. Welcome back to the Skinny Confidential, him and her podcast. I am Lauren Eppert. And I am Michael Bostic. Sexy little co-host over there. Really sexy. Whoa, let's not get too crazy. All right, I'm just kind of sexy.

So we're going to kind of hop right into the show after we give the him and her tip of the week. But today we have my parents on and my brother, Miles. So this should be really interesting. We're going to get into a lot of like relationship, marriage, new relationship, you know, advice like that. Thank God. Michael needs a couple tips this week.

I need a couple tips. Yeah, you do, babe. Slow your roll needs a couple tips this week i need a couple tips yeah you do babe slow your roll buddy all right you need a lot more tips than me you need to learn to take out that trash on a daily basis don't you my tip of the week is for you to pipe down all right i'm actually going to get into my real tip of the week it's the her tip so this tip has to do with Instagram editing. I get a lot of questions on how to edit your Instagram. So this is a tip that anyone can do. It's super easy. Download the app Facetune. This is not sponsored by Facetune. I just really, really like it. And instead of using it to smooth your face like a cartoon, switch it up.

And Michael was actually using this tip the other day. So it's kind of funny. So I like to shoot against a white wall or a white surface. And what's really cool about Facetune is it has this little feature where you can whiten your teeth or the whites of your eyes. And instead of using it to just whiten my teeth or the whites of my eyes, I use it for backgrounds. So I'll use it if I shoot in front of a white wall, I'll use it to whiten the white wall so it's not yellow or too blue. I'll also use it on like food. Like say I take a picture of, I don't know, cottage cheese. You can whiten the cottage cheese so it doesn't kind of look, like I said, like orange or too cool.

It's unbelievable for brightening your pictures on Instagram. It's a game change for your aesthetic and your feed. And what you can also do after you whiten your picture, and remember, you can whiten anything. You can whiten a tree if it's too green for your feed. You can whiten a logo. You can whiten whatever you want. You can also use the little feature called detail. And what detail does is it details things that you want to draw the eye to. So say you're editing a picture of yourself. You can detail the middle of like a jean jacket. I actually just did that on my latest Instagram.

I detailed my jean jacket. And what it did is it draws the eye to my jean jacket, which is what I kind of wanted to feature in that post. jacket and what it did is it draws the eye to my jean jacket which is what I kind of wanted to feature in that post. You could also detail like a really pretty like bouquet of flowers if you just wanted the flowers to kind of stand out you can use that. Lastly if you have kind of like a blemish on your face or a blemish on your picture sometimes I'll do a flat lay and there's like I don't know like a chip in my marble table or something like that. You can kind of smooth it out with the smoother, which is super efficient.

So if you don't have the app Facetune, get it. But don't just use it for your face. Use it for like your flat lay, your landscape photo. It is a game changer. Well, my tip is definitely not as detailed. And I was going to give a fitness tip. But then as I was listening to you, I had a better idea. So I'm not going to get a fitness tip anymore. I'm gonna go back to that one. My tip has to do with the first thing you do in the morning when you wake

up every morning. And I'm guessing the majority of you pick up your phone and look at your social media, or you look at your Instagram, or you look at your Facebook, or you check your email, and immediately you're on high alert, you're looking at other people, you're stressed out, you're, you know, you're engaged in something else than what you should be, which is yourself and figuring out how to be productive in the morning. So what I've been doing lately is I go to bed and I turn my phone onto airplane mode, and I leave it on airplane mode all through the night. And for the first hour that I'm awake in the morning. So I wake up pretty early. So, you know, there's nobody that needs to get ahold of me that early in the morning. And if they do, I don't care. Okay. I

just don't care. What if I'm dying? Well, I actually have one of those little flip phones that I give only to people that are like, you know, super close to me in my life. That's like an emergency lines, like the bat line, like the bat signal. Like if I ever hear that phone ring, I'm like, Oh shit, it's going down. So, um, you know, if someone needs to get ahold of me, I have that. But so what I do is I leave my phone off. I don't check any emails. I don't check any social media for the very first hour of the morning. And I kind of like get into this whole Zen moment or, you know, read or relax and write a little bit, take it easy. And it's fully changed my life because before I would wake up and just check every email and I'd like start to get super stressed

and I'd freak out and it would just fully set the tone of my day. So now I make the decision on what the tone of my day is going to look like. And it's been really helpful. I've been using his tip and it actually works really well. You guys, you should definitely try it. All right. With that, we are going to get right into the show. And next up is going to be my dad, Brad Everett, my stepmom, Julie McEwen, Everett and Miles. I'm John Horne. I'm the host of Geffen Playhouse Unscripted. I'm here with our very first guest, Rainn Wilson. Hi, John. Looks like I'm the first guest on the Geffen Unclothed. Unscripted. Unscripted. Yeah, let's go with that. A marriage made in heaven, I guess.

Or Westwood. Tune in for some of our exciting upcoming guests, David Copperfield, Neil LaButte, Neil Patrick Harris, Josh Gad, Rita Wilson, and many more. Be sure to download new episodes every Wednesday on the Podcast One app and on iTunes. And don't forget to rate, review, and share. And I'm Rainn Wilson, the first guest. You were the very first guest. This was a huge mistake. Of Gaff and Playhouse Unscripted. Huge mistake.

This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her. Welcome back, guys. We are back from the break, and we have three very exciting people here today, one of which you've already met. We have my dad, Brad Everett. We have my stepmom, Julie Everett. And we have my little brother, Miles. Mimi is in the corner on the computer without a mic, but she's here too.

So with that, I'm just going to let Julie start and introduce herself to my audience. I feel like a lot of my audience has gotten to know you through the Skinny Confidential because Julie has a blog called Burlap and Crystal. And she's been a huge inspiration with helping me with my house in San Diego and designing it and laying it out. So I'll let you just kind of introduce yourself for those who don't know you, though. Okay. My name is Julie Everts, and Lauren has been in my life for now 15 years, and she's like my very own daughter. And I have loved working with her in her apartments and her and Michael's new home and helping them get some of the small details together. And she always kind of leans to me for little creative out-of-the-box ideas, and I enjoy that.

And you help us mesh our styles together. You help us not murder each other in our own home. It can be quite tricky when Michael wants to do the color scheme. Julie helped me with my man cave, which is the best part of the house. Tuck you away in there. And our man cave bathroom, which has a giant picture of, is it Kate Moss? It's Kate Moss. Kate Moss.

She's naked. Yep. Do you peek at that when you take a pee? It's the whole entire wall, so I don't really peek. It's just, it's there. But don't peek. It's just there. But it's cool. It's cool, right? She did our whole bathroom wall in Kate Moss wallpaper, which is really, really, really cool.

We also have my dad, Brad Everett. He's been on another podcast, but I'll let you kind of just give a quick intro. Well, it's just great to be back with you guys. I'm so proud of what you two have made here and glad to be here with my family. And we have Miles. Hey, guys. Good to be here. I don't really know what else to say.

Tell all the ladies out there who you are. Yeah, tell all the ladies. Miles, come on. Sell yourself. All right. Quickly. I am the Skinny Confidential's brother, which is kind of a selling point as is. Is that what you use when you're in a bar you know what surprisingly i haven't i've never used it once

yet but i'm sure the time will come so for now i'm lauren lead with that and see what happens it's not a bad idea and i'm michael's brother-in-law and um i'm stoked to be here and he's single and ready to mingle yeah we decided to have him on we're to do a lot of marriage talk on this, but Miles... A lot of relationship talk. A lot of relationship talk. And maybe we can give Miles a couple pointers because he's single. Might be a little group therapy lesson for Miles over here. Yeah.

Michael's been taught well. He's a catch. Michael... I mean, Miles is as well. Both Michael and Miles. There we go. Aw. Michael by his father.

I don't really look at you the same way. Like, you know i know we're close but we're not that close no we're not that close but i mean that that close yeah i appreciate the compliment although after the uh last conversation i heard on your one of your last podcasts i feel a lot closer yeah yeah with taylor he um informed me that he listened to the lady gang podcast on the way up here and we almost got into a finger conversation, but we decided to glaze over that as quickly as possible. Yeah. Now my dad and your mom has mentioned that I'm too busy to be fingered, Damon.

I just now know what was really going on in the closet when you guys were in ninth grade. Oh, my God. Seventh grade. All right. Well, it's been great having you on the show. No, in seventh grade, my dad caught, you guys have heard this story, me and Michael in the closet, half naked. And Michael was getting a little handsy at 12 years old.

So there's that. Okay, so we're going to hop into the questions. We have a lot of questions that are centered around marriage, because I feel like you guys have a really strong marriage and a strong foundation. Miles, I think that you would agree. Absolutely. And I think first and foremost, you guys are friends, which I think is so important when you're married and you have a teammate. So first, let's kind of just tell us the background of your marriage, how long you guys have been married.

You obviously blended your families, which can be quite difficult. I don't feel like it was too hard. I mean, we had some trials, but I mean, it wasn't horrible. It's very hard, except when you find the perfect person, which I did, and Julie, with a beautiful Miles and Mimi family, it makes it a hell of a lot easier. So just to give you guys background, my dad has my sister and I, Faye, and then Julie has Miles and Mimiimi so it's kind of a brady bunch situation right um michael grew up you are like your family's like been how

long have your parents been married 30 years or so years so he i mean i'm 30 now so i think you know about 30 years 30 32 33 michael has two sisters. You have a different situation. So tell us how it was blending. Okay, I'll work on that. So like I said, Brad and I met about 15, but we were committed to being together really shortly into the relationship. And at first, it was probably a little tougher than you would expect. You know, it was different for everybody, different for my kids, different for you and Faye. And but we kind of worked through it after the first year or so. And then by the time we moved to our Del Mar home, you were not even living at home anymore.

And it was it was it was easy. OK, so but when it was hard, I want to know how you guys dealt with that within your marriage. And if you have tips for people that are dealing with something that's maybe a hard situation like blending families or the partner's not doing something that they want and then you want to communicate it. I like this. I'll speak to that. We have different parenting styles. I mean, that's likely to happen when you're, you know, into your 40s and getting married to a new person in your life. Brad's style was different than mine, and mine was very different than his. So finding a way to bring the two different styles together and have it work for us all to stay together as a family took some time. Little things like kids doing chores and who does what and how do we do this and how do

we divide things evenly. You have to work through those. They're like kinks. How are your styles different? I would say that I think Brad has so much trust in you girls and had so much trust in you girls that being really vigilant, you know, vigilant supervision was just not his style. I was, you know, my children were a little bit younger and I was pretty hands on, you know, constantly knowing where they were and what they were doing. Just different. So were you hands-on when I decided at 18 to bring home this huge, huge, huge home line phone? And the phone was shaped like an erect penis.

Right. And then I gave it to Mimi, who I think at the time was five, and made her do a photo shoot of her talking on the phone that was interesting oh julie didn't love that no no i didn't or the time that you cooked microwave for our popcorn for 30 minutes blew up the microwave she still does that yeah i feel like you are hearing some things that i still do that i haven't grown out of or having a party and thinking that i'm not going to go look in the trash can the second I come home. Yeah, that wasn't smart of me.

I should have been sharper there. I would have thought so. I think I was too normal. You've got age gaps, though. You've got age gaps with everybody. So obviously you're 18 and Mimi's six. You're going to be doing things, and Mimi's going to see them, so she's going to grow up a lot quicker. But men are different than women.

And men, single men, which I was i met julie uh we do things differently we pay attention to different priorities a big priority of mine was the education pushing you to school to get get good grades and all that type of thing and you know and i think that uh men and women are just different as we know so. So respect's key, and that's really what the blended – the toughest thing with blending a family for us was trying to figure out with that big of age group, 18, 11, 9, and 5, trying to figure out, because I was so turned on to Julie, how I could get alone with Julie in the house just for five minutes so we could have sex. Miles, what do you think of this? What's your take on that particular part? It was really fun being here. See you guys later.

But, no, I think actually, though, terms of like the whole blended family thing um it was it was fun i mean it was fun growing up in a really motley crew of strange creatures but um miles has seen it all you guys when you live with this many women miles and my dad has seen it all yeah no 100 i mean i say it all the time i've grown up around women like the entirety of my life obviously with the exception of brad and michael but is that what you say to the girls in the bar yeah i say well i say it's just about everybody we're gonna work on your pickup lines after this i'm gonna give you a couple i don't know if pickup lines are really the move for me here why i just don't think it's like i don't know more of a tinder no not tinder either just

you know like a normal kind of person like hey how's it going i feel like you've not just hanging out with normal people though i feel like you want a couple well some of your stories are quite interesting and i feel like they're not for this podcast no we can we can get to that on another day before we talk to my parents about their advice for young people blending their lives i'm going to tell you guys about LaTote. Okay, so how many times have you gone into a boutique and the sales assistant follows you around and asks you 100 questions and then you end up buying something that you don't like because you're running out the door? I feel like that used to happen to me all the time at the

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that's L-E-T-O-T-E.com to get started for as low as $39 a month. Enter promo code skinny at checkout and get 50% off your first month. Once you sign up, you'll receive your completely customized tote within days. Wear what you want, return everything in the mail when you're done, and repeat again. Again, that's latote.com. Enter your code skinny and feel fabulous with fashion delivered right to your door. You know, we have some younger people listening to the show and we're talking a lot about blending different worlds, different lives together. What is some of the biggest advice you would give young people or people that are new to marriage or maybe coming from different walks of life and getting in a relationship in order to have a successful relationship? Like, because I know with you guys, there's a whole lot more.

You're blending kids, you're blending families, businesses. But with just how would you not dumb it down, but how would you how would you how would you teach young people to kind of blend their lives together in a productive way? The first thing I would say is you have to like the person. You have to like the person 24-7. And you do. You have to like the person 24-7. You can, and you know, you should love the person as well.

But you have to learn to like everything about them and make small compromises when there's something that's driving you nuts. So, for example, Brad likes to empty the dishwasher for me because he knows I test it. So he asked me one day, he says, why can't you just put the forks and the spoons and the knives in separate little slots? I'm like, okay. So I changed my ways. And now he has organized silverware. Teamwork.

And he's notorious for bringing the vitamins down every single morning on this box. And he never puts it away. Oh, my God. Similar qualities. So I've learned to put it away. It's just little compromises that don't have to be a big deal. It's just, okay, I can take that on. It's kind of like Michael with the dog food.

Every morning he leaves it out. Every single morning and every single morning I put it away. I do that to test if you still like me. As soon as you stop putting it away, it might be in for some trouble. No, there's no test there. I feel like all he has to do are his two jobs. He has to pick up the dog shit. I don't want to do that. And take out the trash.

And I do everything else. And sometimes you get a little grumpy about your two jobs. Yeah. No, well, Lauren had the bright idea the other day. We have these dog mats and she doesn't want to look at the dog mats anymore. So she had the bright idea to buy this giant igloo that the dogs go in to go to the bathroom and i thought was just really

unsanitary it's actually really smart if you think about it i'm going to explain my log so she told me that this was going to happen and this is going on a tangent but in the middle of the night i heard our little dog boone like he was having a full meltdown but i was too tired to get up because he probably he got up to go to the bathroom and he sees the giant igloo and he has no idea what's going he doesn't know to go on the igloo just like you know i wouldn't know to go in an igloo if i was him either and so lauren thinks this is bright idea and i wake up in the morning and there is just a puddle of urine all over the center of our floor with a big piece of dog shit right in the center of it and boons might be little but and this igloo was like

this igloo was like 250 bucks and lo and behold it's going right in the trash because the dogs aren't going to figure it out so that's an instance when i would complain about my job because i'm not going to go inside of an igloo to clean up after the dogs okay first of all the igloo has a removable bottom so let's like understand that you can pull the removable bottom out of the igloo and i put a mat over the removable bottom. It's actually really genius. Because they go in the igloo, and the igloo traps the smell in, so I don't have to deal with the smell. And then you pull the bottom out and take the rug and wash it.

All right, we're on a tangent. So anyways, back to the—let's get back on track here. Yeah. So those are little things, but I want to get a little bit deeper. What's a problem? You don't need to give exact specifics, but what's maybe a problem that you have found that you've had throughout your marriage that you really had to work on? Because I find with anything I do in my life, you have to get uncomfortable to become comfortable. Like nothing just comes naturally. When people say they don't have to work at a relationship,

I call bullshit. It's a lot of work. It's something I personally work at every single day. One of our big challenges for me, when we first met, I was so concerned because Julie and I are so much alike. We were so much alike, and they say that opposites attract, and we really weren't

opposite in so many different ways that I saw that it could potentially be a problem. But we're so similar that we enjoy each other so much that we I think we make it work. And one of the things that makes it work is when we start to get into those arguments that you get into that are just trivial and ridiculous. We have what's called a commode key and we throw the key down and that means to take it to the next day. And we talked about this last time.

Is this an actual key? It's a key in our mind that's shaped like a toilet. We haven't designed it yet so that we don't have it. But it's a key, a set of keys. We throw it down. We stop the argument. The next day, we don't even remember what we were arguing about. The other thing is that we've always both believed in is having a childlike behavior with our relationship to carry – be a child.

I mean we are parents. We love being parents and it reflects on all of you, all of our children just because we love it. We both have flaws. We both have things that we can offer to our kids. But the most important thing is the childlike behavior that we possess. I think we pass it on down to all of you. And I think that that's so important in a relationship where just because you get old doesn't mean you – kids – child – what it means is when you're five years old, you don't think about problems.

You don't think about life. And you don't see anything as an obstacle. You can do anything. And if you can possess that all through a life and continue to be an adult. And bring it into a relationship. And bring it into a relationship, we've been successful with it.

And I am just going to go off here and think of who taught you that. I'm going to guess that it was the Nans. Always remained childlike. She was hanging out with me going to sushi bars doing sake shots when she was 89 years old.

Every day she embraced each day with count my blessings and smile. And she always was childlike. And she was always childlike. With her Pinot Grigio in hand. And I think Miles, Mimi, Faye, and you all possess that as well, in your relationships, when you have them. We try.

Michael and I think it's so important to be a team, right? Well, when you're sharing a life with someone like that, if you're not a team, if you're constantly at odds and you're doing things to make the other person look bad or not great. I mean, I think one of the biggest mistakes I see a lot of my friends making, if any of my friends are listening, listen up closely, is when they're out in public or they're in front of somebody, they get in an argument with their significant other. They start to throw each other under the bus and kind of like try to win points from their friends to win the argument. And all it really does is make it diminishes the relationship and it kind of it diminishes the other person. And so then you have all your friends looking at you like, oh, man, that's not functional or they're not great together. And so I think it's really important to kind of protect your partner,

protect your relationship. If there is an issue, if there is a problem, make sure you deal with it on your own or with somebody that can kind of give you perspective. But don't air your dirty laundry and definitely don't make your partner look bad. You know, I have to say with watching Miles with his relationships, Miles has picked nice girls. You know, we have – each one is different. There's one exception but well he picks nice girls but beyond that it doesn't watching him the way he treats women i'm next to michael or equal with michael both of them are so respectful to their women and i'm really proud of that with miles i'm really proud of it i think that he got that from his mother and

me and i see that with every relationship he's ever had. And I see it in Michael completely. And I know he got it from his father because I know Gary is, you know, knows that the key to a good relationship is keeping your mouth shut. Pretty much. Don't shut the fuck up. Still learning. She's always right. All you have to do is shut the fuck up.

It's not that hard. And it's hard for me. You know, I'm not somebody that it's hard it's hard he's working on it i think that um you know me and michael like we are vulnerable in our relationship like we totally will admit we have issues that we're working on we're constantly working on our relationship but at the same time we don't go out of our way, like Michael said, to embarrass each other. We want to uplift each other and we want to come as a united front and a team. And I think that you guys are also a really good example of a couple that is a team. Yeah, there's something I kind of want to share. And that is that I think is one of the things that makes us so successful as a couple moving forward.

Not that we don't have our problems, we do. We discovered early on in the relationship what button to push for the other person to go ballistic. And for me, it was lying or fibbing. Brad would say, I'm just around the corner, but I knew he just left the house. So that became a problem for me. And for Brad, I think I mouthed off to him once or twice, and he doesn't like to be disrespected. So we go through our relationship basically from that point forward. When we both found out what our pet peeves are, we don't touch those buttons.

So I don't disrespect him, and he doesn't fib to me. One of the keys to finding a wife, in my opinion, and I think Michael is attracted to you this way, Lauren, is both you and Julie walk with a big set of balls. I mean, you understand me. You'd rather be with men. You'd rather hang out. And don't get offended, any of Lauren's friends out there.

I just mean men like women that get men. And both of you do that. But that also can turn into women in the bedroom. And I can contest that Julie does do that. Well, Miles, what's your take on that again? She takes her balls off at the door. Ew, you just told your wife and your daughter that they have balls? Okay, Taylor.

Well, my dog doesn't. My new dog, Moose, has no balls. Does anybody have a set of extra commode keys? Wait, can we just have a little side note that my dad got a dog for Christmas. We gave him a lab and it's the cutest lab, the most beautiful lab. His name is Moose. So my dad started to get concerned after

like three months when he didn't see like a wiener. There was like a little speck. So my dad got so concerned that he actually called the breeder and the breeder's a woman and he said, you know, I don't know how to say this but where's his dick and the breeder said that she has a line of dogs the breeder's calling the police rad is on a list a line of a line of dogs that don't have the biggest

hoo-hoo right it's a doodad It's probably always going to be a doodad. It is tiny. Maybe that'll be your next necklace, Michael. Michael has my chihuahua's claws on his neck. Okay, we're going to tell you how to land a man. But first, I want to tell you about stamps.com. So these days, you guys know you can get everything on demand. Like our podcast, you can basically listen whenever you want, whenever it's convenient for you, while you're

cooking, while you're doing makeup, while you're driving, whatever. So why are you guys still going to the post office and dealing with the limited hours, the lines? It's kind of annoying. Taylor, if you're listening, you should really look at stamps.com because the guy gets up and leaves the office on a regular basis to go and return his thousands of vinyls that he's bought. It was a terrible investment that he bought all these vinyls. And so now he's unloading them on a daily basis and going to the post office to do so. So Taylor, maybe invest in stamps.com so that you can get rid of that vinyl and not leave the office. Yeah, the post office is out. I would rather just do it right from my desk with stamps.com. You can buy and print official US postage for any letter

or package using your own computer and printer. And unlike the post office, stamps.com never closes. I literally do it from my bed. All right. So right now you can use my code skinny for this special offer. It's a four week trial, including postage and a digital scale. Don't wait. Go to stamps.com before you do anything else. Click on the radio microphone at the top of the homepage and type in skinny. That's stamps.com. Enter skinny stamps.com. Never go to the post office again. So I want to dive a little bit deeper into something that you said, because I think as a father, what you've instilled for me from the beginning is, I mean, I'm going to say this in the most simple way, how to get a guy. And I think there's a lot of women right now that are listening and they're single and they're kind of wondering how to walk the walk and play the game and I'm a huge fan of kind of playing the game you got to play the game you

know you can't give it up right away like I'm I've watched you before Julie date a lot of different women and some of them were extremely desperate not to be mean they were do names later and some of them were too needy and too high maintenance. And I watched that as a little girl. And so I always tried to go the opposite of what those psychos that you dated were doing. So if you have any tips from the women that you've dated, because you guys have both dated a lot of girls. Don't rope me into this. I'm not in the hot seat right now.

What are some tips for some women that are single that are trying to hook a decent, cool guy? Let them have their space. And Julie will say that too. I'll let Julie add to it. But I mean, what attracts me to Julie is she pushes me out to go and do other things. They need to have space.

You need to have trust. Trust is the key thing to everything, both ways but it with you all uh to to have um to have trust and and know that your your mate is uh someone that you can allow to go to vegas or new york or wherever just take a trip and not worry about what they're doing and not be needy. Okay, but what if there's a girl that hasn't hooked the guy yet? What are some tips to get the guy?

I know the tips that I've used that you've told me. You've been very, very specific. She wants to know when you're initially dating someone. We can maybe loop Miles into this because he's out there in the wild. He's on all the dating apps. I feel like I could definitely comment on this. But I want to, I want to know what,

like, I guess, you know, I've been out of it for so long. It's been 10 years. I don't know what's going on anymore. You're dead. Um,

what is it that is, is repelling these women from finding a good man? And be honest, be real. I have some ideas. I've done some things on this, on the skinny comedy. I've wrote some posts on it,

but I want to hear your take. Um, I mean, I i i think personally if a girl is more like direct and honest with me and just like straight up about what she wants that already is huge for me like anybody that knows what they want is confident in what they want real big bonus points there independent yeah independent like has their own shit going on. Always cool. Not too needy. Yeah. And I know games are always going to be a part of dating, no matter what. And all through a relationship, you have to play a little game.

You have to have your game on. My game's still on, and Michael and I have been together forever. My game is on, babe. Literally, it's on. If you want to land the man, you don't become a long time ago you cannot you can't be available 24 7 you got to have your own life and go out and not be uninterested no one wants a cling on no okay so that's advice that you gave me all through high school be

uninterested don't move in i live on your own be uninterested though no just just enough you gotta have like a give and take. There's got to be equal parts. I'm interested in you. You're interested in me. But I still have my own shit going on. Nothing's more accomplishing than getting the girl that you never thought you were going to get. That's a big accomplishment.

When you don't think you can get the girl that you want. Why are you pointing at me? I always knew I was going to get you. What the hell are you pointing for? What do you think I stuck around for so long? You stuck around for 20 years. You were like, yeah, I knew it was going to happen. A hemorrhoid that I couldn't get rid of.

In high school, though, and out of high school, you told me never to move in. Both of you told me this with a man unless you were engaged. And the reason that you told me that was not so much to play a game. It was one, I think, because you really wanted me to have my own independence and have that experience of living alone. And two, I think you

wanted me to have my own shit going on. And I distinctly remember coming over to your house. I was about maybe 22 or 23 and I said, I'm going to move in with michael and you both said no and i you guys are are only opinionated with specific things that you feel very strongly about you guys typically let me beat to the tune of my own drum right but you both were like no and there wasn't any but it was like no don't do it don't do it and so i really took your advice to heart

and i went and looked for an apartment and found a super cute, beautiful space that really helped me decorate. And I moved in by myself. And it was the best year and a half because I just got to discover my taste and my style and my vibe and, like, how I wanted to live without Michael. And then we got engaged and ended up moving in together. And we're going to be living together for the rest of our lives. So thank God I got that in my own space. But say there's a girl right now that's out there that's thinking about moving in with their significant other.

Why were you guys so strong with your conviction of not to move in together? Well, you made the point when you said we wanted you to have your time for you. You know, you only get time for you once in your life because you're going to get married, you're going to have children, and you won't have time for you. So it was partly because we wanted you to experience that, you know, because it's such a sense of freedom and accomplishment when you do move out on your own and you're making your way through your life. You go from your parents to school to living with college mates to living with friends and to jump into marriage and not take that independence and that just your own time to turn your own music on, to keep everything clean. I mean, and you're that. I mean, you are OCD with everything with that. And you got that from...

That's your fault. Probably. Yeah. And you're... Yeah, I mean... No, you... I'm a house wuss. I was a house wuss.

But you're... Take it to the ninth degree. And it... So that was a good... It's good for anybody to do that in life. To be able to be by yourself. Even if you can just move into like a one bedroom studio and just make it super cute, I really highly recommend doing that before you get engaged or married.

It's so liberating and it's so freeing. And I completely found my direction and my trajectory while I was living alone. And I like, I'm so glad you guys told me to do that. And I listened to you. and now you're doing that. Well, you're living with roommates, but currently, yeah.

And that's what you do. But I think that's probably my next step. I mean, as much as I love my roommates, they're all best friends of mine, but, um, it's a lot.

There's a lot of testosterone floating around the house. Um, you know, there's been a couple of close calls, so it's probably about time. It's, you know, maybe, maybe we look into getting a studio here pretty soon. I know just the area for you when you want a studio, by the way.

There's a couple of cute ones. Towards the end of me living with my roommates, who I'm still, like, really good friends with, I think one of us threw one of each other through the big screen TV. The kid was basically laying in there like he was on TV. One of us threw a keg through a door, you know, but the other secret is when you,

once you get together and you're with that person that you marry and you love is still having that, having that feeling, but you're with the person that's amazing. And then treasuring it, remembering what got you there and keeping that throughout the whole course of the marriage all the way through. Don't get distracted with all the bullshit that's out there because it is just all bullshit.

Sorry, go ahead. I was just going to say I gave you a man cave, so I feel like I've really done that to the full extent. We've talked about a lot of things that work. You have four kids, four children, and you also know me and all my sisters and you know all of our friends. Love them all. What do you think some of the biggest mistakes you see young people making in a relationship are? Like, if you could, having an eagle eye view and watching all of us grow up, what do you

think some of the biggest mistakes you see are that don't work, that you want to jump in and say, hey, really don't do that, do this. But I know you guys don't do that, do this. But I know you guys are, you don't do that. But if you could give young people advice. Well, I'll just speak from observation, because there is someone that's close in our lives that we've observed in relationships. And not, not many, just a few and generally long term. And you know, when it's right.

It resonates with everything you do and think. And when you try to put a round peg in a square hole, it doesn't work. And so if you don't fill completely yourself with someone, then that's not right. And I see people and I see people trying to make things work because so much of it is right, but not completely. So then what's the follow up to that? If it's not working, how do they get out? If they don't feel like they're completely themselves, then they probably are not partnered

with the right person that brings out the best in them. So try something different. I think that's great advice. I think what that comes into a simple thing would be don't settle. Exactly. Don't settle. And I just did a blog post on the Skinny Confidential about this. I said, you know, even if you're 35 years old and you had planned for you to have kids and be married at that age,

don't compromise, don't settle, because maybe it'll happen for you when you were 40 and it'll happen right. I mean, personally, if I wasn't with Michael and I always say this, I think I would be single and I would embrace every single second of it. I mean, you're a coupling person. Oh, thanks, Daddy. I'd be hitting the town. Me and Miles would be out in the streets. Literally, you're in bed by 9 o'clock with a book and noise-canceling headphones.

Maybe not if you've seen this. That's where you two relate to one another. It's better for me. I need a strong anchor to hold me down. You don't need to wait, necessarily. I mean, people make mistakes when they get married, which I did. It was not a mistake. I mean, you make mistakes in getting a divorce.

Divorce is horrible. I mean, I would recommend to anybody to stay away from divorce. We won't go on that topic right now. So there was no mistake in me getting married at 26. The mistake was made by drifting, which is where we don't come with all kinds of knowledge on every single step you make, but certain ones we do, and that's one that I can only say to both of you and anybody out there, that to respect one another and have communication and treasure.

If you're going to make the dive and get married, then do select correctly as best you can, but people are going to be different. You're going to know that it's not going to be perfect. And love one another and trust one another. And continue to act childlike. Keep it childlike and keep the sex alive. I mean, I'm turned on to Julie. Sorry.

I'm turned on to Julie today. In fact, unfortunately, Miles is driving home with us. I was hoping to test out her new car. Miles, what do you think of that? Again, let's follow up on that with Miles. Your laugh in the back. It's always slightly disturbing, but at the same time, good for them. These are both full-grown adults in their early 50s, we'll go with.

Mimi's projectile vomiting in the corner. I think the common theme there, though, to dissect it, if something's not working out and something's not right, don't keep going. I think a lot of people have a difficult time pulling the plug. And while my thought process doesn't really work that way, I've seen it a lot with a lot of young people I know where they're in a relationship. They don't have any kids. They don't have any commitment. They're not married. But for some reason, they know deep down, all their friends know, they know, but they can't pull the plug. And it's, it's, you know, it's easy to, for us

to point fingers and to look and say, Hey, do this. It's not going to work out. Cause you can, you know, once you get a little bit older, you know, I'm 30 years old now, but it's, it's for young people that are listening for some reason, they have a lot of difficulty pulling the plug. Like they feel like they cannot get away. Thoughts? Well, it's like business. Business is in a relationship, a marriage. I'm talking marriage, not just relationships, but even with the relationship business, if

it's not producing money, you have failures, you have successes, you know, then you're, it's not producing money, you have failures, you have successes. It's not producing. And if you're not producing love and you're not producing fun and excitement and excited to see one another. And laughter. And laughter, which Julie and I have with Miles and Mimi and you and Faye and Michael. Laughter's important. It's really important. And it's all simple stuff. It's all simple shit. The other day I heard a phenomenal podcast, and it was actually your dad. I listened to Gary's. Bravo, Gary.

Shout out to Gary Bostick. It was an amazing podcast with Lauren and Michael on Ask Him and Her. But he talked about business in that puzzle. And putting a business together, 100%, I could relate to. I'm like, oh, my God, what a great analogy. Relationship's no different. You've got to take the piece. If you treat it like a puzzle, just like you do a business, and you put it together properly, it'll stay together.

And you concentrate on all the things, the pieces. The pieces are so important in a relationship, no different than a business. There's one point, though, that we didn't get into, but I know he would agree with me on, is that as you're putting that puzzle together, if you realize it's going to be a really shitty puzzle, you've got to get rid of it. You've got to scrap it and move on. 100%, yeah. How's our puzzle?

We're still putting the pieces together. Yeah, we're still putting that piece together. You guys are doing several puzzles at once. The picture's pretty good. You have more than one puzzle. Yeah. We got a lot of puzzles. Yeah. You have great...

We're still talking about puzzles? Great puzzles. But the point is, you know, to get to the point where you have all these beautiful things and can implement all these great relationship tips and advice, you have to have a good foundation to begin with. And I think a lot of young people, they try to force things sometimes and then they realize, Hey, this is not going well. And I just want to point out that you have so much time. There's so much opportunity to meet new people. There's so many people out there. If something's not going

right and everyone around you is telling you it's not right. And you're feeling that, Hey, this might not be right. You got to be able to move quickly. And it's the same in business. If you get in a deal and something's wrong and it's really wrong and you know it deep down, like you got to be able to pull out. I think it's important to, to like sit down and sit with your thoughts and meditate. You're sick. I didn't want to use the word pull out, but that's all right. Sit with your thoughts and meditate. Like when I say meditate, I mean just really think if this person is, you see this person in five years, in ten years. You see yourself growing a family and a future. And if there's something in you that it doesn't feel right, my opinion is don't waste one more fucking second.

Get the fuck out and move on. I'm definitely not someone, unless it's something that you know that you can work at, I'm definitely not someone to just sit in a situation that I know is not going to turn out good. No, and the other thing I'd like to just add to that is resource your family. Resource your close friends, your tight group.

They have insight to seeing you with someone else. And if they tell you... My mom's looking at me right now, by the way. If they tell you that they sense that this is maybe not the right fit for you, ask why. It's called...

Steve calls it an inquiry. Steve's always talking about that. One of our friends... Steve helps us a lot with our relationship. He does a lot of coaching, and he's someone that we can sit down with, as both of you guys are, and Miles and Meany, and just talk about our relationship super openly. And he's always, he asks us if we're at request for coaching. Oh, yeah.

And if I say no, that means basically F off. Right. Okay. So what's something that other people don't agree with you guys on about marriage? That's worked for you. Something like what's, what's something that most people would say, we don't agree with that. That's not going to work for us. That's not going to work in our marriage or in our relationship that has worked for you guys. I'll speak to it because we have a, we have a very close friend of ours that we spend a lot of time with, and his marriage is not on solid ground. And I think one of the reasons is they didn't play together. I mean, they didn't

have a hobby. You guys work out together. You do a lot together. It's important to play together. It's important to have your spouse participate in the things that you like to do. Like Brad wants to go fly fishing. So, you know, it's not on my top list, but I'll go. You know, it's just you need to, you have to play together. Fly fishing. Well, I'd like to go fly fishing. I think a lot of people, you know, get complacent in their marriages and relationships. And the wife may be into her thing and the husband gets into his thing. And then before you know it, they're just not spending any time together.

And it doesn't help the foundation of their marriage. And they actually can't find their way back sometimes. So it's important to include the other person in the things that you love. Even if it's as simple as scheduling an hour for you to read in bed next to each other. I mean, I think like Michael and I love to just like sit in silence and read next to each other. I think that I would even consider that playing together.

Absolutely. Something that you can both detach like from everything else and just focus on the book if you read it together. We love reading books. Well, and I know not definitely not everyone's going to agree with this. and everyone like the majority i'd say 95 of the people lauren and i speak with when we told them we were going to be working together they say oh that's going to destroy you guys it's going to ruin your relationship and definitely there's been some hurdles but i actually think yeah in a lot of ways it brings us closer and i think you know

this just to just to touch on the point that just because the majority of people say something's not going to work, if you're with somebody else and you really care about them, people got to do what works for them in that relationship. And so I think sometimes even listening to this podcast, maybe people can just listen to it and say, actually, I'm not going to listen to any of that advice. And that might be right. That's what I call beating to the tune of your own drum, which is my favorite thing. It's really, it's not that complicated. And everybody, when they get together and they make a commitment to love each other and be together and enjoy one another. And don't, I mean, I've seen the best of marriages, including my own, go south. So it happens to everybody, and if you allow it to, keep the fun in the marriage, keep the childlike behavior, and respect for one another.

And because as you go through life, you know, you're going to go through tons of ups and downs, and the downs are better than the ups. They're much more important in a life. And at the end of a life, it's always how well you rise after you've fallen. The people that rise after they've fallen, how well they rise, it shows that's what you can be proud of. Tenacity. Right. Well, it's your reputation. I love all these tips, Miles. I hope you're writing them down in your composition notebook. It's all up in the noggin. Miles is paying good attention. Mimi's even paying better attention behind me. Ida.

No, Daya. I call Mimi Daya because sometimes she can be diabolical because everyone thinks she's an angel that's super sweet and innocent. She and I know better. But she listens to me and I like that. Yeah. Go on her Instagram and comment Daya. You guys, if you're listening.

All right. Well, I picked up some relationship tips from this even i hope michael has a few etched in his head michael what's your number one tip that you picked up out of this i've learned that you have to compromise a lot more for me no michael what's one tip that you picked up that you're going to utilize well i think the i mean there's a lot a lot of the stuff we've talked about but i think definitely for me is you know the the tip on basically loving every i'm working on it but loving every trait you know i just wanted to mention you know you told a story about um brad saying he's around the corner and he's really not even close lauren does this thing to me where she sends me down to our parking

garage where we have no service and no like it's like no no life down there's no food and water he's like you might as well be you might as well be in the middle of nowhere it's like no life down there. There's no food and water. He's like stuck in a hole. You might as well be in the middle of nowhere. It's like a dead zone. And she goes, come down and help me with my bags. I'm here. I'm like, okay. And so I get out of whatever I'm doing and I shoot down to the garage. And I literally stand there.

Like, if you see me on the security cameras of my building, you just see me walking back and forth for 10 minutes with no service. Just pissed off. Pacing around. So, you know, I'm going to learn to try to embrace that because most of the time I'm just down there fuming. The worst is that I just got a dog stroller and I insist that he brings the dog stroller down with him so I can put my stuff in the dog stroller. So now he's pacing around with a camo dog stroller. So if any of our neighbors hear this, I'm sorry if you've seen me pacing around red face with a dog stroller in the garage late at night. There's three things I'm really if you've seen me pacing around red-faced with a dog stroller in the garage late at night. There's three things I'm really thankful for. And one of them is you to allowing us to get on this podcast because if I could do another shout-out,

we were able to obtain a phenomenal lighting contractor who's helping us with our lighting for our new business that we're going to be opening. My dad is opening a restaurant called Alce. It means moose. I wanted to put a shout out to R&LD. Yeah, and R&LD is doing the lighting, and they're incredible. Thanks to you guys because they heard us on the podcast and the things. The other thing I'm thankful for is that Julie didn't bring up the melon. What's the melon?

Oh, it was a health thing that went down. Everybody knows. No, what's the melon? No, we didn't bring it up. Okay, that's sick. It's at the end. Something gross and sexual. Moving on to three.

Okay, and the other is my family. My beautiful family here. Beautiful wife and children and son-in-law and family and his no penis and my dog without he's a eunuch let's call him a eunuch one day we're gonna wake up and he's gonna be on top of julie well it happened the other day but i know there's nothing there ew okay guys on that note they will all come back on the podcast and say hi. Definitely, if you're single, though, hit up Miles on Instagram. I'm going to let him push his handle right now. Yeah, it's just Miles McEwen.

You have to spell it. M-Y-L-E-S. Best guy on the planet. M-C-K-E-O-W-A. You want to be treated right. Tony, can you let him push his handle? He's almost too nice. Miles, say your handle so girls can contact you.

All right. Yeah, I'll do it one more time because I had a couple people spelling over me so it's miles mckeown that's m-y-l-e-s-m-c-k-e-o-w-n who wants to be my sister all right guys thank you for listening thank you for subscribing rate and review our podcast follow us at the skinny confidential on instagram and at michael bostick on instagram and you can always come along on Snapchat for some BTS. We will see you next week. And thank you for listening. Thanks for listening to the Skinny Confidential,

Him and Her with Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic. Download new episodes every Tuesday at podcastone.com or subscribe now on the Podcast One app. I'm Rob Cestranino. If you're a fan of reality TV games like Survivor, join us for fun, smart conversation on Rob Has a Podcast. The Survivor game changers are dropping like flies, and we're breaking down every shocking vote with episode recaps,

player interviews, and taking your questions. And this summer, we'll be back talking Big Brother, plus post-show recaps of Game of Thrones. So download Rob Has a Podcast at podcastone.com, the Podcast One app, or subscribe on iTunes.