The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - 6 Strategies To Gain More Focus & Get Better Results In Life With Lauryn & Michael

Starting point is 00:00:00 The following podcast is a Dear Media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to The Skinny Confidential, him and her.

Starting point is 00:00:21 Good thing these mics weren't on just about five minutes ago because my wife just came up, had a full meltdown. I was in here on a Zoom call, just minding my own business. And she came in, she's like, it's 3.30. I got to record. That's how she talks when she's upset. She sounds exactly like that. It's nail biting. Maybe we should get in a fight on the podcast. I mean, we're on our way. I mean, I feel like that would be really great content to show people how we recover quickly. We do recover quickly.

Starting point is 00:00:50 I'm not recovered quickly. That was fucking annoying, man. All you need is a blowjob and a sandwich and you're good. Extra pepperosinis. Yes, what are you doing talking? Get down. Get on the knees.

Starting point is 00:00:59 Someone's going to pull that clip out and be like that. I'm not going to give you a blowjob on the podcast. Maybe that's part of your problem that. I'm not going to give you a blowjob on the podcast. Although- Lauren, maybe that's part of your problem. Maybe I should do a podcast though on how to give a great blowjob and how to make a sandwich. Yeah. Good.

Starting point is 00:01:13 That's okay. That screams female empowerment. Shit. Anyways, guys, welcome back. If you heard the introduction earlier this week with Josh Flagg, we said we are going to start doing more solos. I want to get back into solos. There's a lot of questions, a lot of Q&A.

Starting point is 00:01:27 Obviously, Lauren's been doing her Ask Lauren series on Instagram. Those are going well. And people DM me all the time asking specific questions. And I keep thinking to myself, why don't we get back to being able to answer listener questions? That's how this show started for the OGs. It was really Q&As from the listeners. How do you do this? How do you do that? What does this

Starting point is 00:01:46 mean? What does that mean? So I want to get back to that. And today, I really want to talk about something that I've been alluding to a little bit on social that we've talked about for a long time. And it's basically how to stay focused. I personally believe that a lot of the world is in such a pained place because people lack focus. People do not know how to block out the noise and concentrate on what they're doing. They don't know how to step back and disconnect from things that don't actually affect them and just focus on them and what they're doing so that they can better themselves and their lives. It always starts with what you can actually change. You can't change the world until you can change yourself. And that's why I think focus is important. Yeah, I would agree. I think that

Starting point is 00:02:20 focus is a practice though. It's not something that you just wake up with one day, like a tool in your toolbox. You have to have a bunch of tools in the toolbox that you can access when you feel like you're getting out of focus. Well, I think you have to understand what focusing is at a fundamental level. Everyone says like focus, focus, but people don't actually take, a lot of people don't take the time to actually understand what that really means. We just had the leadership team for Dear Media out here in Austin. And I was saying, you know, if anybody prides themselves on being a multitasker, that's not impressive, right? That's not impressive to me. That's actually, you're not accomplishing anything. We don't want to multitask. We want to focus and nail the task at hand, hit our goals, hit our priorities.

Starting point is 00:03:02 And I think in a world where there are so many distractions, when the news cycle changes from one issue to the next every three to four days, we're constantly ripped out of focus and peace of mind and taken out of a place where we can actually accomplish the things that we need to accomplish. Yeah, I would agree with you. It would be nice if I could give you a blowjob and make a sandwich at the same time. I do have to say that. I feel like one of them would be lacking, especially the sandwich. I don't know. You never know. I feel like I wouldn't want a blowjob hand sandwich. That's a perfect example. So anyways, guys, I want to dive in this episode and give a few tactical ways that you can focus more, accomplish more, improve your life,

Starting point is 00:03:43 block out the noise, hopefully lead to less stress, less anxiety, less depression, and more abundance and happiness in your life? I'll go first because ladies first. When I am off my focus, I sit down and I write down what I'm consuming. And what I mean by that is what podcasts I'm listening to, what I'm reading, who I'm texting with, who I'm emailing with, the relationships that I'm having, the content I'm consuming, the Instagram stories I'm watching. I think that your focus can get thrown off if you're consuming

Starting point is 00:04:18 things that are not mindful. And what I mean by that is if you're just watching 600 Instagram stories and mindlessly scrolling through Instagram and listening to podcasts that are gossipy all day, I believe it throws your focus off. Listen, I'm all for Real Housewives to zone out. Sometimes I'll sit there and just watch trash TV. But when I really want to get focused, I'm very, very clear-headed on what I'm consuming around me. And that's down to my diet. That's down to the type of coffee I'm consuming. That's down to who I'm surrounding myself with. I look at all the different things in my life and how they're contributing to me being productive and focusing. Yeah. And so I think the tactic number one is

Starting point is 00:05:03 if you want to say, edit your or have a content diet that you dive into that. So we'll say tactic number one is be mindful of what you're consuming. I would even say stop consuming. I would go as far as saying stop consuming things that are taking you out of focus, whether that's the news that's constantly bombarding you with things that are stressing you out and making you think you have to drop everything. And it's the most important issue that's ever happened. I guarantee from the news cycle from this week to next week will be different. And every week will tell you it's the most important thing that you got to focus on now. When you're constantly going, as human beings, we don't have the capacity to take on every issue. I just did a post on this. But with the news cycle and what

Starting point is 00:05:42 we see on social media and all these different voices chiming in our heads, we think we have to take on the energy and the focus of every other priority that's not our own. So Lauren and I have not owned cable television for what, three, four years now? We don't own cable television. And I notice a lot of the time when we'll go and visit a friend or a family member, they'll have the news on in the background the entire day. And for me, that would disrupt my focus so much. I would not be able to get focused. I would not be able to be effective in deep work to have the news playing. Even when I go to the nail salon and the news is playing in the background, it stresses me out. I don't want it in my ether. Another thing that I do that has been really beneficial in my life when it comes to focus that has to do with this is every morning when I wake up,

Starting point is 00:06:27 I don't look at my phone. I pick up a book. I play with my daughter. I listen to music or I listen to a podcast, but put my phone away. I think we're so used to just waking up and inundating ourself with content or Instagram or memes or emails, whatever it is, being reactive

Starting point is 00:06:46 to whatever, what other people need that we've lost the plot when it comes to waking up. I think waking up without your phone, if you can put it away for an hour, will change your fucking life. We live in a time now where we have more information at our fingertips than we've ever had before. And this can be a positive, but a lot of times it's much more of a negative. And I think, again, not just picking on the news, but any kind of social content or any kind of digital content or just any content in general that takes you out of what you actually need to focus on to further your career, to further your family, to further your happiness, your health, your wellness is a distraction and it's a waste of time.

Starting point is 00:07:21 And the problem is when you're consuming and constantly flipping through these things, you're bored. And when you're bored, you start to get depressed and you start to get anxious and you start to get further sucked in. And it's funny, people will come in and say, well, if you don't watch these things, you're uninformed, you're uneducated. It's your privilege to not have to pay attention. But I can guarantee you those other people are stuck in that same kind of cycle. They probably aren't moving forward in life. They're guilt tripping you into having to consume the things they consume. And honestly, for the last four years with us not being such consumers, we have made more progress in our business, in our life,

Starting point is 00:07:55 in our marriage, in our family than we ever had before. And I think it's because we're like horses with blinders. We blocked out the noise. I am throwing a birthday for Zaza. I'm so excited. And one thing that will be at her party, I already talked to them, is boozy kombucha. We got to have that for the adults. Specifically, the pineapple flavor and the blood orange. That is going to be at the party. We're going to get lit. We'll do some pixie straws in it, maybe some champagne glasses with ice and a little basil, maybe some mint. All I know is that the bar will be stocked with Juneshine. It is so refreshing and delicious. I first learned about Juneshine through my sister-in-law, Jordan. She had it at her

Starting point is 00:08:40 bachelorette party. It was the only alcohol that she would drink because it was so low in sugar. There's like three grams of sugar and it's also low carb, but it has probiotics in it too. So I started drinking it after that. I like it in a huge wine glass, like I said, with ice and like an herb. You can also drink it out of their cute can that is so Instagrammy. Recently, and this is major news, you guys don't know about this, they launched a branded prickly pear margarita. It is smooth, it is refreshing, and it is enjoyable. Let me tell you. This is, again, good in the can like you're running in an Uber or you can have it over ice. I feel like you could also trick your friends and family that you made this major margarita

Starting point is 00:09:24 because it's so good. Juneshine is absolutely amazing because they also donate 1% of all sales to environmental nonprofits. We interviewed the founders. I'm obsessed with the whole mission. And you're going to receive 20% off plus free shipping site-wide. I personally would try one of their best-selling variety packs. It's a really fabulous and bougie way to try all their delicious flavors. You're going to go to juneshine.com slash skinny or use code skinny at

Starting point is 00:09:48 checkout to claim this deal. That is J-U-N-E-S-H-I-N-E.com slash skinny. You should also know that Juneshine can be found in over 10,000 stores across the country, including Whole Foods, Safeway, Kroger, and Publix. Cheers. And as Tony Robbins says, the opposite of depression is progress. All right, give us number two. So if number one is turn off media during times when you actually need to pay attention, or obviously just turn it off in general,

Starting point is 00:10:20 my number two is to stop using social media during times when you need to focus. If you're sitting at your desk or at work, or you're sitting at home spending time with your kids or your wife, and you have your phone in front of you and you're constantly picking it up, if you're at dinner and you're constantly picking up, that is completely taking you out of focus. It's a distraction. We never used to live in a time where we had this thing that would just take us out of the moment at any given moment. You actually gave me this tip so long ago and it's helped me a lot. You said, put away your phone, put it on airplane mode and buy one of those tomatoes or time blockers

Starting point is 00:10:52 and time block your time. So this is an old tip that's been on the Skinny Confidential forever, but it does have to do with this tip. Use a timer instead of your phone because if you go on your phone, you're probably going to get wrapped up in social media or text messages or whatever. Use an actual timer, have it on your desk, put your phone away on airplane mode and put it on 30 minutes or an hour and only focus on one task at once.

Starting point is 00:11:18 Yeah, there's also a way on your phone where you can limit the time that you're allowed to use social. So I think a lot of people, they use social for different things. Some use it for business, some use it for escapism, some use it for distraction, some use it for whatever they're using it for. But the problem is, if you start to use it so consistently,

Starting point is 00:11:36 where it's just breaking into your life at any moment in time, the morning when you wake up, when you're at dinner with your kids, when you're at dinner with your wife, when you're working out, nothing worse than when someone's on the machine and they're staring at their phone. All of these are distractions and they're taking you out of focus. And I promise that you're probably getting worse results in every aspect. You're having probably worse conversations, you're having worse workouts, you're getting poorer work done because you have this thing that you're constantly checking out on every time you start to get into some kind of focus.

Starting point is 00:12:05 Number three, this is a real moment in time. We are coming up on a hibernation period. And I think it is such an opportunity for everyone. And let me explain what I mean. So you know how the day after Thanksgiving, Michael and I felt like this. It's like you just want to be in your house. You don't want to be on your phone. You want to eat leftovers. You want to be quiet. You want to replenish your energy. You mean every day for me? You've given a lot of energy on Thanksgiving. I feel like that's a hibernation period.

Starting point is 00:12:38 We are coming up on a very long hibernation period. So the best time, in my opinion, to really focus and do deep work and be mindful of what's ahead is December 27th through January 8th. Everyone is checked out. Everyone's away messages are on email. It's a great time to really reconnect and focus down on what it is that you want to focus on.

Starting point is 00:13:04 And what I like to do, and I got this through Bill Gates, my best friend, is- Kind of a weirdo these days, but go on. I like to do think week. And what this means is you basically take a week to think big and visualize. And I love what Warren Buffett says. It's like plan six months, plan, I think it's two years, plan 10 years. And it's not like I'm planning my life andett says. It's like plan six months, plan, I think it's two years, plan 10 years. And it's not like I'm planning my life

Starting point is 00:13:28 and controlling it. It's more like I'm laying out the vision of what I want for myself in my marriage, in my relationship with my daughter, in my business, and like sitting down and thinking really big picture.

Starting point is 00:13:43 So my tip here, I think, is to take at least a week, a year, and be able to just think and focus on big picture. And I feel like this is very relevant for today because we're about to go into a time where everyone's hibernating, which is very nice. Well, it's usually a time where people say, I can have even less focus, right? I can just... Nobody's paying attention. I can kind of less focus, right? I can just, nobody's paying attention. I can kind of let loose here. I don't have to, like this is a moment in time when you should have limited distractions. Obviously,

Starting point is 00:14:19 family is going to be an issue on the holidays, but after that, I mean, you have a moment in time where you can actually take some time to focus. And again, I believe that the lack of focus contributes to people's anxiety, depression, stress. You know, when you go to a workout class and it's something you haven't done before and you do it and like you have to focus so intently and when you're there and you're focused that intently, you literally like people do it as an escape if they are depressed or stressed or anxious and want to let off some steam. And it's because your mind, you know, we're not good multitaskers. Your mind can only focus on so many things. And when you're that intensely focused in a class like that with something that's unfamiliar that you haven't done,

Starting point is 00:14:53 it disables you from being able to be distracted with anything else. So what happens? You get a great workout, your anxiety goes down, your stress goes down, you get endorphins, you feel good. You can do those same things in dinner conversations. You can do them in workflow modes. It all comes down to intently focusing and blocking out the noise. I think too, it's kind of like quarantine, right? It's like people either took quarantine as an opportunity to fuck off or they took it as a way to level up. And I think that this week that we're about to have off, you have a decision. Are you going to take this week and use it to your advantage

Starting point is 00:15:30 and look at it as an opportunity? Or are you going to use it to lay around and watch other people's Instagram stories that add no value to your life? I'm not perfect. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I love tuning out to Housewives. I'm perfect in our relationship

Starting point is 00:15:43 and making a sandwich and a blowjob. But I am going to use this week that's coming up to work on the proposal for my next book. I'm going to use it to strategize for this next year. I have all these goals in my notes app that I want to hit.

Starting point is 00:16:00 And I want to be really purposeful and mindful towards that. So I think focus is so important in every area, but it's also important when you have the opportunity to really, really dial it in like we have coming up. Agree. The next one on my list is for the professionals, the aspiring creatives, the people in the office, the people that are trying to get ahead in their career, in business, whether maybe you're trying to build that next podcast or you're building that social following, you're building a YouTube channel, you're building an online brand, you're building a product business. I think it is such a disadvantage

Starting point is 00:16:36 in business, and Lauren, tell me if you disagree, to constantly worry about what your competitors are doing, paying attention, constantly doing a market study to see what other people in the space are up to. When I started Dear Media, one of the biggest problems that I had when I was pitching the business is people, the VCs and people that were investing or potential investors kept trying to put me in a box like, are you like this business? Are you like that? I wasn't paying attention to what those businesses were doing. I understood who they were in the space. I had high regard for what many of them had did and had accomplished. But I wasn't sitting awake and paying attention to how they operated their business, what shows they had, who they were signing, none of that.

Starting point is 00:17:14 Because honestly, it was just a distraction from me being able to actually focus down and operate the business that I needed to operate. I think so many people in the workplace and business aspiring entrepreneurs, they get bogged down because they're constantly looking at what their so-called competition is doing. And when you're constantly doing that and your competition is out there performing and working, you're constantly playing catch up. You don't have time to analyze everything they're doing and keep up yourself. This morning, I woke up and I poured myself a huge pitcher of water with tons of ice. And then I put a couple of drops of my Saqqara chlorophyll in my water like I do every

Starting point is 00:18:00 single morning. And I put mint in there with a straw. I then took it to work out. And my trainer Brent was like, what is that? I told Brent all the amazing benefits that chlorophyll has. I feel like it really helps with my blood sugar. If I'm in altitude, it takes away any altitude sickness. It's also really good for your gut, your skin, your hair, your nails. I love it in my water every single morning. So Saqqara also obviously has way more things than the chlorophyll. I just am having a real moment with this. They have these beauty drops too that are really good in water. Those two mixed together. It's like these minerals with the chlorophyll are absolutely fabulous. To just recap with you, Saqqara is a wellness company

Starting point is 00:18:40 rooted in the power of plant-based food. So you can also get these really awesome organic ready-to-eat meals. They're all really filled with powerful plant-rich ingredients, and they're all designed to boost energy, improve digestion, and get your skin glowing just like the chlorophyll. So you can grab some creative breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. They're delivered straight to your door and your chlorophyll. And along with delicious plant-rich meals, Saqqara also offers daily wellness essentials, like I told you, for optimal nutrition that support gut health, energy, immunity, and healthy living. Right now, Saqqara is offering all Skinny Confidential, him and her listeners, 20% off your first order when you go to saqqara.com slash skinny or enter code skinny at checkout. That's saqqara, S-A-K-A-R-A dot com

Starting point is 00:19:26 slash skinny to get 20% off your first order. Sakara dot com slash skinny. I completely agree with you with the skinny confidential, to be honest with you. I didn't even look at my competition. And it's like going with what you said. I didn't want it in my ether. I wanted to disrupt the space. And I think by putting my blinders on and focusing on what I'm doing, I can create new ideas that are avant-garde as opposed to copying other people's formulas. It is so important not to get caught up in what other people are doing. I know someone and she's a super amazing girl, but she's always looking at what other people are doing. And it comes across in her work. You can tell she's so busy trying everyone else's formulas that she doesn't even have her own

Starting point is 00:20:18 formula. And it almost makes you not unique to yourself. Well, this happens not only with what you do, but it happens in businesses and products as well, right? It takes away innovation because you're constantly worried about what your competitors are doing. Listen, they're doing their thing, their formula that works for them. You need to do your thing. And I think what I'm saying about focus and not...

Starting point is 00:20:40 If you're focused constantly on who your customer is, who you want to serve, who's consuming your content, all of those things, then you're listening and you're focused on your business and you're probably better able to serve and build or whatever for the business that you're in. When you're constantly looking at what other people are doing, you're taken out of your focus and you're put into theirs. You're actually focusing on them instead of you, which is what you need to be doing. There's so many companies that we see nowadays that we look up to so much and they're not sitting around looking at what their competition is doing. They're recreating the wheel. And I think for me with my product line, I want to constantly be recreating the wheel and questioning the status quo of what's happening on social media or whatever and

Starting point is 00:21:23 doing things differently and constantly shaking it up. And to be honest with you, I think, sure, look at a couple case studies, I guess, when you're launching product, but throw it all out the window and just start fresh and put your unique personality into it. You should be aware of, in my opinion, the market size, who's playing in that market, what lanes they're playing in, but then it should end there. You see all of these people constantly comparing themselves to others online. Again, it's because they're not focused on themselves. And what happens when you're constantly comparing yourself to others, you're constantly telling yourself what's wrong with you, why you're not here,

Starting point is 00:21:59 why they're there. You're giving yourself reasons why you should feel bad. Again, a lot of this is blocking out the noise. And I know some people like, listen, I'll catch flack and say, it's a position of privilege for you not to pay attention to X issue or Y issue. But my answer to those people is, even if I paid attention to every single issue out there, it's not that I can actually do something about everything. Can I go off on a tangent?

Starting point is 00:22:22 Sure. If someone is on social media and they're constantly telling you what you're doing wrong, that's also taking away from their focus. It's so unproductive to be just pointing out every single thing that's wrong with someone because in the end, what you end up doing is hurting yourself and your own productivity. Well, it's a lose-lose situation, right? The person that's not focused on their side of the street telling other people what's wrong with the way they're doing something is obviously not focused on themselves.

Starting point is 00:22:51 And if you are on the receiving end of that and you're constantly engaging and reading that kind of stuff and saying, oh, now I have to acknowledge this person telling me what I'm doing wrong, then you're also taking yourself out of focus. And again, people don't realize that by not actually focusing on their side of the street,

Starting point is 00:23:10 what they can control, what they can improve, they're not actually contributing to any productivity for anyone in society or themselves. They're actually doing the exact opposite. So my point being is that we live in a time now where there's such a lack of focus, right? Like we are constantly berated with this issue and that and things that we have in a time now where there's such a lack of focus, right? Like we are constantly berated with this issue and that and things that we have to jump into that. And also in the

Starting point is 00:23:29 workplace, I can't tell you how many pointless meetings and how many things that we've adopted that take us out of actually being productive. And if people focus more on actually focusing and being productive, I think that people in general would vastly improve their state of mind, their experiences in life. They'll see greater results. Their families will improve. Their friends will improve. And once you get to that place, then you can actually tackle bigger and bigger issues and be a helpful and contributing person to society. The next tip is for me, this is a big one, is batching. So I am a huge fan of doing the same thing within a certain amount of minutes or hours. So for instance, if I'm going to sit down and write an Instagram caption, I'll write three at once. I think that that helps me focus on one task at once. If I'm going to write my book,

Starting point is 00:24:23 I will sit down and I will try to finish half a chapter or a chapter. I think where focus becomes hard is when your email's open, your text messages is on, someone's calling you, you have a hundred different things going on to be able to batch one task,

Starting point is 00:24:40 I think brings someone who is having average performance to expert performance. And where I got that from is the book Deep Work, which is actually in front of me right now. And he talks about how people who are at expert level always batch. And that could just mean three to four hours, like a couple times a week. That already is going to take you to the next level. Yeah. I mean, this is now getting granular, but I love this subject. So I don't know how you exactly, I think I have a decent idea of how you structure your day, but

Starting point is 00:25:09 I'll structure my days in buckets of time. So one thing that I see in the workplace, for example, that's a problem. And again, this is a topic that's come up on this show. People feel an incessant need to constantly have their email open and respond right away. I hate email. And there are things that are timely, right? And I understand if you're working in a company and you need to respond in a timely manner, but you also need to respond in a way that's thoughtful and effective. And so personally, what I will do with email and trying to manage the inbox,

Starting point is 00:25:39 and hopefully this is helpful for people out there when I'm trying to focus, is I will set 30-minute windows or hour windows where I do nothing but go into a specific inbox. Say it's the Dear Media inbox. I'll go there and I'll do nothing but focus on answering those emails. That's what I do too. I do that exact same thing. I'll just focus for a certain amount of time.

Starting point is 00:25:58 But anyone can apply that, right? I know a lot of people, especially in companies, they sit there and they have a screen with their inbox open. And as soon as an email comes through, they want to get it to zero because they hate that that number is in bold to the side. And they feel like they got to answer it right away. But the problem is if you were focused on doing an actual task before that, and then an email chimes in, now you're out of that task. Then you're in the email. You're giving both half of your attention.

Starting point is 00:26:22 And again, there's a lack of focus where if you just set some time and said, okay, maybe first thing when I get in the office, I'm going to do emails. Then I'm going to go into some work. Then maybe before lunch, I'll do a few more. And then at the end of the day or afternoon, I'll do the rest. That's still a timely response. Obviously, some companies use platforms like Slack. I actually don't use Slack at all, but people do that as well. But I think you need to really create buckets of time even when you're corresponding. A good quote by Cal Newport in his book says, to produce at peak level, you need to work for extended periods with full concentration on a single task free from distraction. And that really sums up what Michael and I are talking about. I spend a good amount of time not only for the Skinny Confidential, but the entire

Starting point is 00:27:09 Dear Media network going through analytics, seeing what people actually like, what they want to learn more about. And financial advice, financial savviness, saving advice, investing advice keeps coming up to the top of the list. And I think that's because it's an area that affects all of our lives. All of us want to know how to be more financially savvy, be more responsible, make more, save more, take care of our families, which is why I love this partnership with Wealthfront. As you may know, if you listen to the episode on financial freedom, Lauren and I's primary investing strategy outside of putting money into our own businesses is investing in low-cost index funds. What I love about index funds is anyone can jump in and Wealthfront definitely can help you do that. And listen, I get it. You're sitting there saying, how do I save?

Starting point is 00:27:49 This is daunting. This is overwhelming. I don't get it. I don't understand. And that's why I like Wealthfront so much. It is an easy to use platform that helps you create automated investment portfolios of diversified low-cost index funds. You can also build, using Wealthfront, you can build a portfolio with clean energy fund, cannabis, tech, hundreds of other investments. But again, low index funds is where I would start. Wealthfront even offers socially responsible portfolio mixes with human rights, climate change, sustainability, and diversity. So they really have something for everybody. Best of all, Wealthfront is totally automated. They do all the trading, all the rebalancing, and they even help

Starting point is 00:28:21 you lower your tax bill while you invest. Wealthfront is trusted with over $27 billion in assets, helping nearly half a million people build their wealth. So you know you can rely on it. You can trust it. Get your first $5,000 managed for free for life by going to wealthfront.com slash skinny to start building your wealth and get your first $5,000 managed for free for life. Again, go to wealthfront.com slash skinny. That'se-a-l-t-h-f-r-o-n-t dot com slash skinny to start building your wealth now that's wealthfront.com skinny and get started today and so i think like as you're thinking about structuring your days and what's worked for me and it sounds like what's worked for lauren is thinking about it in buckets of time. So maybe your morning, your early morning time is when you get your wellness in, you focus on yourself, maybe get some reading. Another question, people

Starting point is 00:29:14 say, how do you find time to read? Well, I actually schedule and focus and get rid of all distractions. Say at this period of time, I can only read. I typically read on a Kindle or a hard book. I try not to have it on a phone or an iPad. And if I do have it on a phone or an iPad, I put it on do not disturb. So things can't come in, but you actually schedule that time. And then maybe there's time for email. And then maybe there's the harder tasks in the day where you're scheduling just that. Obviously if you're a content creator, we're scheduling time to podcast, we're scheduling time to do pickups and ads and all of these things, but it's never multitasking. It's not like we're going to go from podcast into an accounting meeting the next minute. I also think like what you said about reading, that people will say, like you said, how do you

Starting point is 00:29:56 have time to read? I would say stop watching Instagram story for a week and you will not believe how much time you have to read. And another thing, I know people like these granular answers and this is maybe for executives or people you have to read. And another thing, I know people like these granular answers, and this is maybe for executives or people that are setting their own schedule or managers, but I also believe that as you structure your days, different things pop up, especially if you're running a business or you're managing a team. I think it's difficult when you're constantly shifting gears. So I'll give you an example.

Starting point is 00:30:24 If one day I need to jump into, if a CFO calls me and says, we need to jump into finance, and then after one day I need to jump into, if a CFO calls me and says, we need to jump into finance. And then after that, I need to jump into talent discussions. And then after that, I need to do a podcast. And then after that, I need to do, you know, whatever, something creative. That is so many gear shifts for the brain to try to manage. 100%.

Starting point is 00:30:38 So what I, yeah. And I think people run into trouble with this. Like it's really difficult to focus that way. So maybe, you know, if you're a business owner or a leader or or a manager and you have the luxury to kind of structure your own days, maybe start thinking about it in themed days. Like Monday's the administrative day where I get through emails and deal with the team. Tuesday's the finance day, but Wednesday's the creative day. Lauren and I, maybe Thursday's the podcast day or whatever. And when you start to structure your days like that and you wake up each day and say,

Starting point is 00:31:08 okay, now I only have to focus on this type of task, you'll be surprised at how much more you can focus. How I see my days is I do Monday is like a day to reset with my team. So I don't have anything scheduled on Monday. It's a blank day basically, besides working with my team and making sure we have the content for the whole week. Tuesdays are usually podcast days. So a lot of podcasting happens on Tuesday. Wednesdays is my call day. I wake up knowing I'm going to be on the phone

Starting point is 00:31:38 basically from 10 o'clock to six o'clock all day long. I try to do all my calls in one or two days. I find that this works best for my personality. Thursday, I leave open to create. I think that that's such an underrated thing for creatives is like you have to have that space where you can be deep in the creative and doing deep work with creative. And I also write on Thursdays. Friday is usually photo shoot days and tying everything up with the content for the weekend. So I definitely do try to theme my days like Michael said. The next one that I would love

Starting point is 00:32:11 to talk about, and I can't wait to hear your take, is busyness versus productivity. And last night, we were out with your team and you were talking to a friend of ours about a to-do list. Oh, sometimes my delivery is off. No, I love the delivery. Can you share with us? Listen, a lot of people, I don't do this. I don't keep a to-do list, right? I keep a priority list. And on that priority list are the very few priorities. What are the most important things? And within that, you're obviously going to develop some tasks. But if you're somebody who wakes up and in order to get through your day and feel like you've accomplished something, you have to have

Starting point is 00:32:49 a to-do list. That's fine. But you have to respect that your to-do list doesn't always translate into effective work or important work. It has to do with work that you feel like checking off a box to feel productive. And I would actually have everybody really audit that because if you start to go through this to-do list, again, is it a focused to-do list? Are you jumping from task to task? Are the things you're checking off the list actually important? I had a very blunt conversation with the leadership team for Dear Media and I said, I'm not impressed that you checked off every box on your to-do list. I don't even know what's on there. I'm impressed if we actually hit our goals and stay focused as a company and grow revenue and grow audience and grow business opportunities and grow opportunities for junior team members to become leaders and all

Starting point is 00:33:33 of these things. I think we've translated a to-do list as being focused and productive. And really what it is, is it's just something for us to feel like we're accomplishing the tasks on our list. But you have to make sure, are these actual priorities? Are they actually moving the needle? Is this actually focused work? I don't know if Michael and I were attracted to each other in business because we both are people that like to do the first priority. We are. And I don't know maybe if that's just conversations with a lot of different people, but you and I are very much like, what is the most important thing we can do right now that can move the needle? I think you're way better than me. I will say that.

Starting point is 00:34:12 But I do definitely do this thing called the Ivy Lee method. I've talked about it many times. And basically in the morning, I make my list of six or seven things and on it is the first thing that is absolutely important. So I start with the first thing and I do not move on to the second or the third or the fourth until the first is done. And this has made me so much more effective in my life and my business. I think it's such an easy hack. It's all over the internet. You can Google Ivy Lee method. I even have a post on it on the Skinny Confidential that breaks down how I plan out my day. I do it on a sheet of paper.

Starting point is 00:34:47 And at the end, I do that Ivy Lee. And it's so powerful if you're trying to get out of the busy shit and into your productivity vibe. Agree. My friend Max came on the podcast and he's a health and wellness expert. And he told me off air that I should try boxing once a week for mental clarity. Also physical, it has so many

Starting point is 00:35:11 amazing physical benefits. So I booked a session once a week. I was loving it, obsessed with how focused I was when I was doing it. And then the pandemic hit. So I had to get creative at home. While I moved to Austin, I tried to find something that was really just at home, looked cute. I wanted it to be aesthetically pleasing and also something where I could do it in 20 minutes. And so enter Fight Camp. Fight Camp brings the best workout in the world into your home and makes it fun. So now I still get to box every single Wednesday, but it's at home. I can listen to my podcast while I do it. They have like thousands of different classes. So you get new workouts every single week. It's quick. It's efficient. Sometimes I don't have time to do more than a 20 minute workout,

Starting point is 00:35:53 but I can still get it in because they offer all different kinds of durations, which is amazing. I really like that I've been able to continue boxing, even though I don't actually go to a class. But most importantly, it is white. It is cute. It looks good. In my garage area, I have white gloves. I have the wraps, everything. So what I do is I go downstairs,

Starting point is 00:36:16 I put on my white gloves, I use my punching bag, and I focus on that task for 20 minutes. And boy, oh boy, is it hard. I think you're going to love it. Now is the best time to get your Fight Camp. Take advantage of their holiday pricing going on now to save over $200 on a Fight Camp package. If you purchase it this month, you're also going to get an additional pair of gloves, oh my God, valued at $149 for free. This deal's going on now, but it ends soon. Just go to joinfightcamp.com slash skinny to get an additional pair of gloves for free

Starting point is 00:36:47 and save over $200. Go to joinfightcamp.com slash skinny. joinfightcamp.com slash skinny. This is my last one. And I think this is really what focus comes down to. And I want to give a real applicable example of what's worked for Lauren and I, and especially for people that have been following along for a while. So there's a book called Mastery by Robert Greene that I think everybody should listen

Starting point is 00:37:15 to or read if you haven't quite figured out what your path is. It took me a long time to figure out ours, but you could really dumb it down to even concepts. And what Lauren and I decided to zone in on and try to become masters at and definitely have a long way ahead of us and are still working and are still on the path, so don't think that we're there, is we decided to try to master the game of content. Lauren started writing on the blog. We obviously started creating content on the podcast. But if you really strip it down to the involvement of where we've found success in our personal life is we started creating content on an online platform, the blog.

Starting point is 00:37:50 That extrapolated and went to social channels. Those social channels evolved into the podcast. The podcast evolved into the Dear Media network. The Dear Media network evolved into being able to incubate and launch multiple product lines or invest in product lines. And it's not because we've become masters in business or finance or legal or these things. It's because we decided, okay, we're going to produce this content machine that will continue to help us become masters and open up new opportunities. And I think so many people, they start on a path towards something and then maybe they hit a few bumps in the road and, or their focus gets distracted. So they move on to something else and they constantly take themselves out of their path to mastery. Like, you know, maybe you want to, you want to open an incredible restaurant and you start as a chef, you start as a sous chef and you work your way up to chef. And then all of a sudden you're the owner and all these things, or maybe you say one day, you like driving school. I'm going to use a dumb example. I know a guy that has become a professional race car driver.

Starting point is 00:38:50 He started out teaching at driving schools and he moved his weapon. He's a race car driver. Now he's professional. All of these things, they seem like little paths, but they lead to much bigger opportunities if you stay on a path to mastery.

Starting point is 00:39:01 And that path to mastery requires an extreme amount of focus. It requires dedication. It requires you to keep your blinders on and not pay attention to what others are doing or when other people are jumping in and naysaying what you are doing. So I would really think about that path to mastery. I don't know how you feel about it, Lauren, but that's my biggest thing is when it comes down to focus, it's like pick that thing and stick with it for years and years and years. I think that's such good advice to end the podcast on. Even when you're trying to conquer a platform, pick one, really dial into that platform, whether it's writing or TikTok or Instagram, really, really focus on that because that's

Starting point is 00:39:35 what's actually going to move the needle and slowly move out. This is a concept I've talked about forever on the Skinny Confidential, which is like the upside down triangle. So start with that little pinpoint of the tip of the triangle and then slowly move out. And that really, to me, sums up busyness versus productivity is that upside down triangle. Yep. And again, to recap the reason, and this is really like the summary here, and this is if you could take away anything, a lack of focus breeds boredom. It breeds contempt. It breeds an arena where you are going to feel anxious. You can let depression creep in. You're going to start to have worse results in your business, in your personal life, in your family life, because a lack of focus means

Starting point is 00:40:17 that you are constantly being thrown in 18 different directions. And as I said in the beginning, I think that we have problems as a world, as a society, because people lack focus these days. They're torn into every single event, every single news cycle. They're jumping into arguments online. They're wasting their time. They're wasting their focus. And we're not progressing in our own personal lives the ways we should be because we have so much information and so much noise constantly bombarding us. And if you can block that out a little bit, stay focused, use some of these tactics to improve your life, then you're in a position where you can jump into other things. The greater the platform you build or the greater the financial means you build or the greater resources you build means you can actually be in a position to help more.

Starting point is 00:41:00 And when you're in a position to help more, obviously you're going to be happier. You're going to be able to create more. You're going to be able to do more. And so I would really start to think about auditing your time, auditing your focus, saying, are you actually a focused person? Or are you just being thrown around at the whims of everybody else and at the whims of whatever's going on on social or the news cycle? And if you do do that audit and you're honest with yourself, I think it's a great opportunity to say, okay, now's the time to focus. We're going into a new year.

Starting point is 00:41:23 These are some tactics I can take. And I'm going to start on that path to mastery so that I can improve my life. On that note, you know where to find us at Lauren Bostic on Instagram at Michael Bostic on Instagram. And definitely check out at the Skinny Confidential because we have a stocking stuffer kit. It's a skincare stocking, you guys. That is so so cute I just got it for all of my friends my team and I put it together so it's just like the most adorable stocking stuffers that every girl wants check that out and with that if you guys like these solo episodes let us know on my latest post because I think we're really gonna lean in to doing more podcasts with ourselves, just alone or with each other.

Starting point is 00:42:09 It's something we're really passionate about as much as we love having guests and we think it's awesome. We also want to be able to connect with you guys and make sure we're answering your questions and that we're really always growing and evolving and tackling top topics that you guys want to hear about. Yeah. And these conversations are probably going to be tighter and a little bit more focused, not to be, not to be cliche here. Obviously we love doing the interviews and we're going to continue to those bring on really interesting people and keep having broader conversations. But I think we'd be doing a disservice to this entire audience by not getting granular on some

Starting point is 00:42:42 of these subjects that are, that you guys are requesting. And so if there are any other are any other things, focus was a big one that kept popping in. How do you focus more? How do you be more productive? If there's any other topics that you guys are interested in, please let us know and we'll do more of these quick, lightning, hard-hitting, granular, tactical advice conversations for the podcast. And by the way, a trick to a sandwich is, like I said, pepperoncinis, but it's also toasted sourdough. And it's also not multitasking, giving a blowjob while you're doing it. I think like when I think of a sandwich and the way I wouldn't want it made, I wouldn't want it made by somebody that's giving or just got done giving. I don't know. Those pepperoncinis are pretty good.

Starting point is 00:43:18 No, it's like a lot.

The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - 6 Strategies To Gain More Focus & Get Better Results In Life With Lauryn & Michael

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