The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - #62: The Bitch Bible Part Two with Jackie Schimmel

Episode Date: May 9, 2017

Host of the podcast "The Bitch Bible" Jackie Schimmel (@jackieschimmel), joins Lauryn & Michael for a wild round two! Jackie talks about her upcoming wedding, one syllable last-names, facial steamers, El Pollo Loco, what she HATES about weddings, and live podcasting. To Listen to The Bitch Bible Podcast Click HERE To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn’s latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you’ll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

Thanks for downloading this show from PC1. Before we get rolling, here's a word from one of the folks who helped bring you this podcast. The following program is a PodcastOne.com presentation. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Conf ready for some major realness.

Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her. Welcome back to the Skinny Confidential, him and her podcast. We're here in New York. We're live and we are hungover. I am brain dead. I'm like, I'm like a, I don't even know how to start. I don't even, guys, I'm hurting. I'm struggling. We're out here in New York. I have no discipline in the city, none whatsoever.

I told myself I was just going to have a couple of drinks last night and next thing I know I'm done. You could use a Brussels sprout or two. I don't think I've had a vegetable in three days. Yeah. It's time to change that after this. We're going to go out to dinner. So we're kind of on a high because we just got back from the Skinny Confidential meetup at Officina in New York and it was fucking incredible. do and what industry you're in. And just to see you guys in person was like so cool. Cause I'm used to typing on a screen and podcasting and to like actually meet in real life was just amazing. There was a lot of estrogen at that meetup. I feel like you like it though. At one point I was, I was sweating cause you know, I'm trying to hold my own, but there was a lot of women in there. Yeah, there was a lot of women. I think there was about 100 people.

Ten years ago, I would have been really pumped to be surrounded by that many women. But now, you know. Now you're dead. So that's not relevant to you. Everyone was so cool and so pretty. So many pretty women. And New York just has this energy about it. And to have all you guys in one spot drinking skinny margaritas is

just my dream so um if you didn't get to come to the meetup and you wanted to we're gonna do more because that was so much fun and i think next time i do it i want to like do it on a rooftop with like a long table don't you think that'd be cool and everyone can like have dinner so i'm already thinking and scheming of my next meetup. Yeah. I had a lot of fun. It was a lot of, it was really interesting to, to meet people here in New York and hear about what everyone does, especially those who listen to the podcast. Like, you know, I was talking to somebody and they said it was that they listened on the subway. And when I, you know, when I envision people listening to this podcast,

I envision a busy person who's got a lot going on that's commuting or running around. So it was, it was really cool to just connect with everybody. And let me tell you, after talking to you guys, you guys are busy. You guys are hustlers. You're crushing it. Someone brought Michael a book called killing it. That was nice. Yes. By Cheryl O'Laughlin. Yeah. That looks like a really, really good book. So thank you guys for taking the time out of your busy ass schedule to come and see me and Michael. We are both really humbled. It was really, really incredible. So with that today, we have an interesting, fun show with one of our great podcasting friends, Jackie Schimmel of the bitch Bible. We interviewed her last week before we came to New York. You know, she's so funny.

She made me laugh so hard in this episode and asked Michael, I was actually crying and convulsing. Well, let's not ruin the show. People will hear it in a minute. Tell them how I was actually crying. But it was the first time I've actually seen Lauren cry. She cried harder.

She never, she didn't cry at our wedding. She didn't cry first time I've actually seen Lauren cry. She cried harder. She never, she didn't cry at our wedding. She didn't cry, you know, not anything else, but she cried. Not the biggest crier, but I will cry for Jackie Schimmel when she tells a funny joke.

Cause damn, she's funny. I'm very excited about this episode because you guys loved her on the episode that she was on before. If you haven't listened to that episode, I almost recommend turning off this one and going to listen to her other one first and then coming back and listening to this one because she is that funny. Definitely subscribe to her podcast. It's the bitch Bible on iTunes. And with that, we want to go walk around the city and maybe get some olive oil cake and Michael a vegetable or two. I need something. Something. We need something. Water. Maybe. I don't know. Face cream.

I'm looking at my arms right now and I'm like dried out. I'm like a dried out prune. I would describe you as a prune in New York. I have no discipline. We need some serum and some facial massage happening for you. Alright guys, with that we're going to get right into the podcast and

you will get to meet Jackie. Or re-meet Jackie. Or re-meet Jackie. or re-meet jackie this is the skinny confidential him and her okay you guys we are back with one of your favorite guests jackie schimmel of the bitch bible soon to be jackie haas haas i like it you're gonna go with the full name change i don't know i think I'm gonna do like a hyphen situation. Jackie Schimmel. God, but that's so annoying.

Because like, who the fuck am I that I need to have a hyphen? I like the hyphen. I think it's very 2017. Lauren just changed hers on her Instagram to Lauren Everts Bostic. Ooh, that's a big step. Yeah, I don't really know which one I want to go with. So I'm just putting both of them up there and I'm gonna like decide later. Do you care if she takes your name or not?

No. Oh, secure. Not really. I mean, I think when we have kids, the kids will be Bostick's. I think Bostick's a better last name, too. It's cooler. It is. It's got something to it.

It's got some oomph behind it. Haas is nice because it's one syllable. I always dreamed of a one-syllable syllable last name and shimmel is like a little chewy. Shimmel. It's like so fucking nasally. So, haas is nice. It's also an avocado

so I like to think that I'm part of the avocado family fortune, which I'm not. That's cute though. I like that. But I want to just plant that seed like maybe people will think that I'm like an heiress to an avocado farm. That's amazing. So you're getting married at the Parker.

Maybe, yep. You're a little bit nervous. A little bit nervous, yeah. And tell everyone what the whole dynamic is. You're doing three days? We're doing like a weekend, yeah, but I'm pretty antisocial so I'm not going to be participating in a lot of the wedding events like the pool day or the golf tournament or the tennis like

i'm not gonna fucking be there so i hope everyone has a great time but what are you gonna be doing just hanging out i will be bunkering down in my room probably watching real housewife marathon breathing into a paper bag steaming my face with my facial steamer. Tell us all about the facial steamer. Okay. The facial steamer. And I'm like not being paid to talk about this, but I would like to be. Hint, hint.

Hint, hint. I need to get the exact name. I do have it on thebitchbible.com. I've never posted about anything in a year. And the first thing I posted about was this fucking facial steamer. You put your face in this weird orbit thing and steam just blows in your pores. Your makeup goes on smoother.

Michael, you seem very, very interested. Well, because I look like an old leather sack right now and I'm not doing too hot. I was saying I was around dirt. Your forehead looks like a ball sack. No, I broke out here. I'm like an old weathered saddle right now. Okay, so we need a facial steamer. I need to'm gonna get the steam i'm gonna go to your blog and i'm gonna buy it well this is how this happened i couldn't get botox so close to my wedding because i went

in for my first time consultation because i have an appalachian mountain trail on my fucking forehead do you see a crevasse above my eyebrow that like sarah palin could go hiking it's disgusting so i went to the Botox lady. She said I couldn't do it. And then I started like researching all these different methods and serums and snail masks and all this weird shit because I need my forehead to be snatched. Okay. I heard your podcast where you said, I think it was with Katie from Vanderpump Rules.

You guys said that you couldn't get Botox so close to your wedding. Yeah. She wouldn't. Okay, the doctor wouldn't do it because I have severe allergies. Okay. Very severe, like, skin allergies. So it just wouldn't make a difference in that short of a time anyway. And it was too risky. Okay, because I have gotten Botox.

If I have, say I have an event on Friday, I would want, like, I would schedule it on a Monday. That's why I was i know whoa i because mine goes right into effect and like freezes my forehead i mean your forehead is like giving me a boner i'm so in love with your baby's ass that's all i want like a baby's ass forehead and i'll be happy i started getting botox so at 22 Holy shit. I know. Wow. So I was driving in the car one day, and I looked in the review mirror, and I saw an 11. And I was like, oh, no. No, no. Preventative right away.

Yes. Found a Botox doctor, and I'm so glad I got it at that age, though, because I don't get it, like, a lot. I probably get it, like, once a year, once a year, once a year, and now twice a year. But I got it right here, right in between my eyes, and now the 11's gone so i love botox okay well i'm getting on the train immediately after my wedding because i need this shit to be smooth but your skin like you guys her skin looks amazing right now facial steamer yeah go get it i'm going the other way i'm gonna just wait for this like flap of skin to drip down my forehead, and I'll use it as a sleep mask.

Some bangs? Yeah. Just so I don't get tired, and I'll just pull it down and darken it. Have you ever gotten Botox? No. Lauren's trying to get me to do it. I would say if I did. Does it look like I have?

Of course not. You should see Andrew's forehead. It is insane. I am going to inject that shit myself. Listen, wouldn't it be a little creepy? A 30-year-old man with a perfectly straight forehead. A man needs a little bit of character. Lifelines?

Yeah, lifelines. Cursive lines. Do you see the cursive lines in second grade? I want to look like an old, salty sailor that's just sailed the world. You do. Wow. Discovered something. A salty sailor. Such a visual for me. Discovered the world and wrinkles at the same time. Yeah, we see

those wrinkles. I just don't want anything to move above my eyes. Like, I try not to make a lot of facial expressions because... I've been trying. It's really hard for me. Between my forehead and my tits that are, like, down to my knees at this point, it's just a losing battle. I'm going to get some shit done.

If someone's, like, walking by and you, like, have to smile at them, you have to, like, really think, is it worth that smile? I don't. Yeah. Even if it's worth it, I just don't. I'm like, listen, I've only got 30 days and this shit is just, it's got to tighten up. You know what? Someone was telling me that you never want to get Botox, though, on your smile lines

because then it actually makes you so you can't talk or move right here or smile. So if you guys are listening, don't get Botox on your smile lines. Yeah. I kind of like these lines too. I think that they're like charming. They are. The ones above my eyes though? No. I mean, my forehead is a fucking disaster. Okay. So she wouldn't let you get Botox. How are you prepping for your wedding besides facial steaming? You do a lot of a Pollo Loco. Oh, my God. The eating. I just started today.

I decided. I'm like, Jackie, we're done here. We're done. Because I'm a stress eater. Everyone says- Wait, is it Pollo Loco? You're talking about the fast food chain? I love El Pollo Loco. By yourself, though.

Not with anyone to disturb you, which I like. I never go. I dine in at El Pollo Loco. I don't even go sit in my car. I do that some places where I will drive through and then I find a shady spot in the corner of the lot and I fully eat alone in my

car listening to Sirius or myself when it's a really bad day. My own podcast I do like TBT and listen to something from a year ago and criticize myself and then I eat my feelings with a crispy chicken sandwich. It's's disgusting but you look so good like you're so tiny and cute and perfect and no no no no every day that's that is a lie this is very skillful dressing

i don't know you look really good um that could be because i'm crazy and i'm kind of burning calories just being on the brink of stress totally crazy so that burns a lot of calories but i'm trying to just not eat fast food for 30 days and when i say no to something then it like goes in other directions so i start like obsessively shopping or just becoming a terrible person there's a lot it's a lot for me, so no fast food before the wedding. Your facial steaming. Anything else that people can pick up for their own wedding? Any tips we need to know? You know, I like personalization.

So I have ordered basically anything you can put a monogram on. I'm very into. Like personalized napkins and matches and water bottle wrappers. And I mean, everything that you could possibly put your name on, I've done. What's the present? Did you guys do anything that they're going to leave with, like a goodie bag or something? Yes, I'm arranging those right now. We have some very nice tequila that we got donated.

So that's exciting. And I haven't really figured that out yet these are the things that like keep me up at night and like increase my forehead wrinkle i'm trying you're so stressed about that don't even worry give them tequila they'll be good to go you gave everybody like a six-day hangover and you know yeah thanks for coming that's about it no i mean that's good though you need that i'm just like a little bit crazy i'm very detail oriented very bad at the big picture okay so 120 people may 20th like 150 ish is that going to turn into 200 do you think it could it could i'm like i told you earlier i'm like literally praying for some type of natural disaster what did you do when you sent an invitation to one person because we experienced this too?

And then they RSVP for two? Yeah. I would call them directly and say can you read? The envelope was to just you and sorry you can't bring Pammy with an eye and she can't have a fucking filet. She's not invited. Leave her at home.

No. We had to say no to a couple. If we haven't gone to dinner with you or we don't know you like that's so weird i mean i'm not doing intros at my wedding like hi you you've just participated in my most intimate special moment nice to meet you enjoy the cake no go home stay in the hotel room come to the after party you can't come yeah i totally agree with you hard now i'm glad that we did that, too, because then it was like not all these random people. We didn't do filet. We did tacos.

My pocketbook's glad. Nice. Right? Huh? I said my pocketbook's glad. Right. No ring, no bring. Yeah.

We also didn't do cake. I feel like we did not do a lot of things. We're not doing cake either. Okay. You guys don't want to put the cake in each other's face? I am not going to make 150 people walk or come watch me cut the cake that I'm not going to eat and do the whole thing. And I'm not having a Mr. and Mrs. on the back of my chair. We know. We're all here for the wedding.

Like, here come—oh, my God, the worst. There's two things that are the worst things about a wedding. There's so many things. Like, I hate everything about weddings, but two things in particular. When the little girl walks down the... I hope this didn't happen at your wedding. We had our 40-year-old man do it. What, Here Comes the Bride?

No, no, the flower girl. Oh, I'm having a grown man. I'm having a gay. That's what we did. Perfect. When the little flower girl with her head wreath comes down with a little fucking wood plank with cursive writing that says here comes the bride we all know how this goes like thank you for dumbing it down like we know she's coming like okay and then when they

have the bridal party enter and they do those weird dances like they're like first up you got the bridesmaid like and then they come out it's like two you know in pairs and then they do those weird dances. They're like, first up, you got the bridesmaid. And then they come out in pairs and then they do the Macarena or one of them pretends to go fishing and reels him in on the dance floor. What are you doing? See how cool I am?

He doesn't even know what you're talking about because I didn't have a bridal party because I'm so cool to you. You know what? You've never seen that when they're like, get this party started on us. I realize. Now 48 playing. People do not invite me to weddings.

I realize this. Because all my friends are like, isn't it annoying? We're getting invited to all these weddings. And I started thinking about it. I'm like, I don't get invited to any weddings. Why do you think that is, Michael? I don't know. Maybe I'm just, I don't know.

But I'm not complaining about it. If you're listening, please do not invite me. Yeah, for real. Because I don't know, but you know, I'm not complaining about it. Like if you're listening, please do not invite me. Yeah. Right. I don't want to go probably. And this was a big thing for our wedding is I realized I didn't want to be the asshole that's making people that don't really know us, but kind of know us have to fly down to Mexico.

I was like, I only, I wanted the people that we invited. I knew like they wanted to go down and party in Mexico. Totally. And I didn't want to do, I didn't want to get a bunch of, you know, so. My worst nightmare in life with anything is making someone do something they don't want to do, I didn't want to get a bunch of, you know, so my worst nightmare in life with anything is making someone do something they don't want to do with friends, with, with family. I never want

anyone to do something they don't want to do. So if someone doesn't want to do something, I'm like a very accommodating, like I would never, I don't want to put people on. I don't celebrate my birthday, like a whole birthday. The lady gang was talking about that. No one wants to go to your birthday after 30. It's over.

You're done. Unless you're paying for the whole thing and it's like all like set up. Everyone take me to dinner. Let's go to. Split the check a hundred ways. Like, no, I don't like to like when people I don't want people to feel like, oh, fuck, I have to go do that. So that's what our wedding kind of the theme was.

It was like everything was like shit people like would want to do, which was like just get drunk and party. Yeah. I just want to dance party. I don't want to like have everyone held hostage at my union. You know what I mean? Like it's just and, you know, at least 20 percent of the people are like, God, I hope she trips. I hope this happens. She's such an asshole.

What is he doing with her? He should run for the hills. Like, you know, that's definitely out in the atmosphere. So I would just, you know. I like the way you guys are doing it. One tip I do have, and I think I might have already told you this, is give them a drink before you walk down.

Oh, duh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We did it. We gave one when we were walking down. We did a cheers when we were walking off. Like, everyone wants a drink. There was not a moment where people didn't have liquor at our wedding. Yeah, it was kind of knocked. It led to some dicey situations, but... Oh, I've heard.

But it was still worth it. Yeah, Taylor pissing himself in a strip club with piss dripping down his leg. I was hoping to see him today. I wanted to further ask. I feel like I haven't fully had the opportunity to really get details about him pissing himself. We really like you, so we hide him away when he... We don't want to ruin anything here. I would like to have you back on and have you kind of roast him.

I would love to. Get deep with him, like really like dive in. I want to analyze his dating profile fully because I kind of tapped into that last time I was here. And I really feel like I've missed my calling as kind of like a dating millennial coach. Cyber coach. What would you tell him about the collage that he has? It's five pictures for one default of himself. That is the most aggressively thirsty, desperate thing I've ever heard in my entire life.

Like he just he wanted to show all angles. He felt like he wasn't getting enough of a slideshow. So he just had to combine photos. That would be a hard swipe left. You know, they're actually all the same angles, though, because he only likes one angle. They're just five pictures of the same angle. Are they all black and white? Are they all color?

They're pretty much, they're different situations. One's in front of a white wall. Oh, God. Okay. Lots of, it's good. So what's his bio, too? Does he have a bio that's like, oh, no. I don't know.

I'm going to read it, actually. I've like fully just stopped painting. I mean, he does, he was having a full meltdown the last time I saw him, because you know on Bumble, the girls have to initiate the conversation with you and speak with you. Yeah. So he had like eight full hives that were just ticking time bombs, and not one was reaching out, and he was just like, it was really fucking up his day. Wow. It's just too, I don't know I was

talking about this Lauren like I wouldn't even know where to begin at this point in the dating world I mean the whole time I the dating apps weren't around when I was you know yeah running around in the streets no me either I would have crashed and burned I'd be dying alone for sure there's no I have no I have no idea how to utilize any of those things. I would hope not. His bio says a little bit of this and too much of that. Oh, okay. I don't even know what to say about that. Email me at taylor at bosticmedia.com for no reason at all. Just putting our business on the map.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Way to brand. Yeah, way to brand us. Wow. Wow. Okay. This is a couple just to show. Awful.

Absolutely awful. Horrific, right? Yeah, the white wall. Who took that photo of you? And then, oh, what about look at me in karate when I'm two. Oh, that's like him trying to be like funny and cute and relatable, but it's not. The hashtags sex machine, hashtag babe alert, hashtag male model hashtag kind of crush hashtag instagram crush it's kind of funny but it's just like three too many you know what i mean well it'd

be funny if it was meant to be a joke but this is dead serious like that's like there's not like a when he's doing that it's not like haha i'm doing a funny thing it's like this is dead serious one time we had him sleep over and he decided to take this in our bathroom. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That is a mirror selfie shirtless. Did he oil his body up before he took that photo? I think that's my eye oil. The hardest thing about this is that I was literally one door over.

I was in my bed sleeping, just resting peacefully. And if I would have walked in the middle of the night and found this, there would have been a fist fight. I mean, just I can say this because I am a proprietor of homosexuals and I love them and they love me. He looks like a flaming homo in that picture. So he's sending the wrong message. Love you, Taylor. I'm just I'm just telling you, because if you're trying to get, you know, women, then you might want to rejig the format. I don't know what he's going to get with that picture.

Probably nothing. Speaking of what you're just talking about, what I wanted to tell you earlier was I loved your podcast with Jax. You did. Yes. He was surprisingly extremely likable. I got Jaxed. I think. Yeah.

I was Jaxed that day because he was very charming and gracious and kind to all my people. And, yeah, I was very surprised. He almost didn't show. He was sending me, like, very manic midnight tweets, direct messages, like, you know, if it's going to be this way, I don't really do podcasts. It was a little manic Monday. And then he surprisingly showed up fresh out of the courthouse. And he literally, like he just had come from court. He was getting off probation.

For sunglasses? I think for stealing this. Yes, for stealing sunglasses. So we had a celebratory moment together. And he was really kind of like lovely. You know what it is? And you said this at the end. What it is is that he's 100% authentically himself.

That's I think that's why I liked him. Totally. I mean, when he's a dick, he's a dick. He doesn't like hold back when he's being like majorly misogynistic. And I appreciate that. Same with me. And Michael really liked the thing he said about the sandwich. What was this thing about?

You were in the car and you heard it and you were giggling in the corner pretending like you weren't listening. God forbid someone makes a sandwich once in a while. If you say that, it's like, oh my God, this guy must hate women and he's like the most sexist pig in the world. But really, it's a big deal. I think guys should pay for shit when you go to dinner. I think a guy should pay. And if I have to make a fucking sandwich once in a while,

I'm okay with those dynamics. Oh, great. I mean, I'm comfortable with it because I know that I'm like a strong ass woman. No one's going to fuck with me. I've got Andrew's balls gold plated in my hand. So, you know, once in a while I'll throw him a sandwich. I'm fucking starving to death. I don't get anything.

I'm in the corner making my protein. If you go into our pantry. I'm selfish like that, though. I like that about you. I'm really selfish. The pantry is so organized and you can see everything but the problem is it's like lima beans and just like decorations not for you if i want it there's some oats you know like there's nothing to eat in the house i'm so if you're like a livestock you'd be set at your place yeah if we

ever have children i'm i'm they're're going to look like they're starving. Who's going to feed these kids? Hopefully you're going to hire a nanny. I'll take them to El Pollo Loco. Yeah, that's perfect. I just like my pantry like a museum. It's not really for Michael. It's all for me. He has his man cave.

I barely have that because the other day we had a huge argument, like a big argument. We were screaming at each other because she goes in there And she messes with all my like she's like okay this is Your area you can do whatever you want I alphabetized his books for him and he complains Oh my god You don't need her to make you a sandwich

I mean I would never do shit like that But I don't want her to do stuff like that That's my area Look at Connie Complainer honestly you should be Really happy about that That's like really nice I at Connie Complainer. Honestly, you should be really happy about that. I clean everything. That's really nice. I would never do something like that.

Make the bed every morning for him. This is my dilemma. Hang his clothes. This is my dilemma. Color code them. On the surface, when you hear it, it's like, wow, what great things. It's so nice. What a gracious wife.

Yes, that's what it sounds like on the surface. But then imagine if on the other side of that, I've been begging her not to do it. Right? That would probably make her want to do it more. So what happens is I seem like a total asshole because I say please stop organizing. Because you're ungrateful.

Thank you. I'm so glad we're having this conversation. Do you get what I'm saying? You're like, you're welcome for organizing the lima beans. And I'm like,, you're welcome for organizing the lima beans. And I'm like, listen, I didn't want the lima beans. That's what women do. I do that shit all the time. I grew up in a way where, like, people weren't, they didn't, we didn't do that kind of stuff.

People are not organizing. What are you, the cleavers? What do you mean? No, no, but people are. Wait, wait, wait. People aren't organizing. Leave it to beaver family? Let's talk about how you grew up.

What did grandma have waiting for you every morning at 7.30 a.m.? No, just to tell everyone. Well, if you would have learned a lesson from grandma. So my grandma used to make me breakfast every morning. She lived with us. She used to add a younger sister. Ellie went to college. Go ahead.

What was the one that grandma made? My sister Tara is nine years younger than us. And so when she was born, my grandma was living in New York and she needed some extra help. So my mom and dad, they flew around and said, you can live with us. And she did what grandma did. She was like making pancakes and food. No, no.

Every morning fresh pancakes with blueberries and sausage. With like a little smiley face on it. Basically. Sometimes chocolate chips.

It was great. Wow. Maybe you should take a play out of that play. She wasn't organizing my stuff. She was making me food so I could eat and live. I think she should.

She wants to keep you malnourished. What part of that don't you understand? I'm trying to do the same thing with Andrew. I don't want temptation in my house either. Like I want to just like have my healthy food. It is selfish in a way though because I'm a little OCD

and a control freak and I just like everything clean so it does really have to do with me and not him but I still think he should be grateful. I still think it's really really nice. Like that's a lot of work. It is a lot of work. Yes but it's for her because she's OCD. Like, did you get the theme here? It's not like...

It all goes... I mean, everything I do, every nice thing I do ultimately benefits me. And it's something I'm looking inward and trying to fix about myself. But at least we're aware. Yeah, we are aware. I'm self-aware. No, but it's... It's very important.

It's like buying your... Okay, it's like a man coming home and like buying like a huge giant flat screen TV and being like, you see what I did? It's like, it's not for, it's for him. Right. And so that's the way I look at it. And I love it. And so it's hard to complain because girls are, they eat me a lot.

Like, oh, I can't believe like you complain about this. But it's because I specifically say like, don't go in that man cave and do anything. Just leave it alone. Well, you shouldn't leave your shit everywhere in your man cave. That's why I have the cave. Okay, I can't. I even want the cave if I can't leave shit in there, right? No, it's not a cave.

It needs to be a clean cave, or I can't do it. That's why it's called a cave. A cave's supposed to be like... You need to compromise for the cave. You and Andrew already lived together. Mm-hmm. We moved in when we got engaged, too. So do you guys have problems living together, or is it extremely easy?

It's extremely easy because he works all the time. So his like recording studio is kind of essentially his cave and it's away from me. But like if you saw what our closet situation is, he went away. He was in Jamaica for a couple weeks or something doing work. I took all of his clothing out of our closets and moved it into a separate bedroom. And he doesn't even have clothes in her bedroom. What did he say? You guys, her husband or her soon-to-be husband is so sweet and cute and nice.

What did he say when he came home and everything was moved? Well, we have this, like, one little walk-in closet that's just, we, like, have stored luggage in and all of our shoes. I moved everything of his out and I made it just like a little shoe bag closet. So he officially has completely been evicted from our closets in our bedroom. And I prefaced it like, oh my God, look what I did. Look how cute

this is. It's so adorable. This is my little me place. I put a candle in there and he's like, wow, hon, that's great. That must have been a lot of work because it was. It was a shit show before, so I prefaced it as a positive for me, like a chore

that I did. He's not thrilled that he has to go to a separate bedroom. Does he have to walk to the other side of the house to get dressed now? Yeah. Well, he has underwear there, pajamas, and... So he just walks in his underpants across the house. Yeah, and a robe.

I let him keep a robe in there. I love diabolical situations like that where you say, look what I did. Don't you love it? Yeah. Yeah, I do that all the time. And I said, I'm like, listen, if you don't fucking like it, get us a house with double closets and you'll get your own space. Get us a bigger house. That's amazing.

Lauren does this thing where she goes into like a downward spiral of OCD cleaning. And so, and she cleans everything and it's very organized. But. He's complaining. Then. I literally can't with you. But she gets so in the zone that she forgets where she puts things. Oh yeah.

Unless it's hers. And so then I come home and I'm like, yo, I just got these new noise canceling headphones so I don't have to listen to your like massive fingers smashing the keys. Oh, I also work a lot, too. He's going to complain. And then I go, I say, you know, I'm a hard worker. So here's how I have to preface it. Damn you.

Organize and a hard worker. Here's how I have to preface it. I have to say, hey, the house looks really great again. But but where the fuck are the headphones? And then she goes, I don't know where your fucking headphones are and screams and then keep track of your own shit so then I have to do like an easter egg hunt around the house to find the thing that she put away

she's keeping you mentally stimulated and you should be grateful for that I have to like say thank you thank you as my frustration levels are rising and as my face is turning red because I can't find it and it was in my man cave right where I left it and then you know that's a Gone Girl move I love it tell everyone what you do

with Gone Girl it's my favorite thing so many things it's my favorite thing when you do when you play the music yeah when Andrew's not cooperating or he doesn't wake up or we're running late like in every speaker I play it's called Sugar Storm everyone should go download it

it's from the Gone Girl soundtrack. And I just play that creepy score that's like, dun, dun, dun, dun. And he gets, he like knows that I'm not fucking around. Or I'll text him the alphabet if he doesn't respond. A, I mean, I literally called him, I'm not joking, and he was like in a session 43 times yesterday because i knew that he read my text message and just wasn't cooperating and i had a very serious question which was about the wedding event right um i don't it was like what time are you coming home for dinner like it

was not really that serious of a question and i called him 43 times like i give no fucks i think it's so funny and i realized that he probably is wildly terrified of me, but that's where I want him. I'd like you to write a book like about these tips. I have so many tips. I know. I almost want you to write like a whole guide where people can just buy it. And it's like tips to like lead with fear with a relationship. I just think it's funny too.

It's like if it's not, I mean, am I really going to Lorraine Bob at him? No. But like like will i text him 150 times and be laughing the whole time yes i love it i think it's very efficient and that i should start doing some of these tips to you my favorite was when he was in the shower and you were playing it and you were by the door i don't know where i saw this i think it was on your instagram yeah i took a video because it was really it was next level that was you got to like repost that that's a regram i should oh that's it this is it oh hold on close your eyes michael michael just visualize just close your eyes it's actually kind of peaceful nope it gets creepy just imagine what she did to him really listen listen to it, absorb it. It's kind of turning me on.

My glow's a boner. Sick ass. You don't remember this news. And your voice probably gets really low like this. I'm like, Andrew, we're 15 minutes late for our dinner reservation. Andrew, get me a fucking martini like i asked four and a half minutes ago

andrew you said you'd be home by 703 it is now 7 14 andrew you have to keep saying their name over and over it's like subliminal messaging. Michael. It does get creepy because it kind of sounds like whale noises, too. You have flashback to the movie of her fucking Neil Patrick Harris slitting his throat with a box cutter. I need some tips for Michael with this music. Like, really good ones.

You just have to start playing this in moments of anger, and it reformats their brain that every time they hear this song, shit's about to pop off. No, that's amazing. It's like conditioning. Lauren's literally crying. There's tears in her eyes. Well, I was trying to hold it in. It's so fucking funny. I love shit like this.

Like, this is like my comedy. Like, I get off on shit like this about, like, staring the fuck out of you. That's the most I've seen you cry in our whole relationship. I was crying when I first heard it. I cried more just now than I did at my wedding. I didn't cry at my wedding. Oh, you didn't? Oh, my God.

Did you shed a tear? No. We're cold as ice. No, I mean, we weren't super emotional about the wedding thing. I think I was too drunk. Nice. Michael had like 10 shots. I got to wipe my eyes.

I'm like crying. Oh, I love that you're crying. I can't even deal with that. It's pretty great. It's pretty great. Kevin's scared shitless. Are you freaked out? He's like, all right, we got to wrap this up, guys.

You want to date us together? By the way, if I had a Raya profile, that would 100% be, you know, you have like music in the background of your slideshow. No, wait, can you tell us all about this? Because Mimi really wants to get on Raya. Okay, I don't know because I'm obviously not on it, but I did apply at one point in time as a joke to send it to Andrew

because I was really wanting to get married and I was like, when the fuck is this dude going to propose to me? So I did apply and I was waitlisted. But you pick a song, they do a weird montage of photos of you and you have to pick your own song and mine would 100% be the Gong Wall song.

What are the requirements to get on there? You have to like have a social media following. I don't really know to be totally honest. You have to have a social media following. You have to kind of be someone I think. Could I get on? I wonder if I could get on. No. Why? Because you're married. But actually you can get on to find friends but you're most certainly

not getting on to find fucking friends. I'm looking for friends. Go to Friendster. You're not going on Raya. I'm sick of my current friends. I only want Raya friends, I guess. Only want cool people. Yeah, only want cool people.

You also get kicked off if you talk about it, right? Oh, I would be kicked off in about two minutes. Yeah. So we're blacklisted already. Yeah. Well, we can't get on now that we just talked about it. Yeah, probably. But I'm not really trying to make any new friends.

I'm trying to rotate out. I'm trying to keep my same amount of friends but just have a whole new group. Okay, so you just want to swap out. Like swap. You want to upgrade? There's like two or three I'll keep and then swap. I want to go on and just stalk the shit out of it because

I heard that John Mayer's on it. I heard Josh Henderson. I heard a bunch of celebrities are on it so I want to I heard Josh Henderson. Like I heard like a bunch of celebrities are on it. So I want to go and like see like what their profile picture is and what their bio is. I'm still crying because that was so funny. It was amazing. I feel like we really had a moment there. Oh my God.

I hope my mascara is not running down my face. No. Yeah. So I want to try to get my little sister on it, but it's really hard. It is very hard. But I mean, you don't know any ins or outs on how to get on it no i wish i wish but i please let me know if she gets in because i would like to troll can taylor get on fuck no probably not there's no way in hell no way what i mean if i was if i had

any kind of like you know like if i was part of that company and that guy tried to come in i'm like you should not with those four pictures we we're not. Not with that slideshow. Oh, yeah, with that slideshow. The dick pic collage. I feel like he also has pictures of inappropriate areas of his body, too, when you keep sliding. He does his abs up close. Does he send dick pics for sure? I'm going to say yes.

I don't want to know. He has the look of someone who would send a dick pic. Totally. I mean, most guys do, which is so sick. Well, he shaves bare, too. That's right. Oh, of course. So he wants it to be seen.

You don't want to get razor burned for nothing. He's trying to showcase that. He really thinks that that's the way to a woman's heart, too. That is... It is not. That is so weird. I remember you telling me that and being like, what the fuck? Yeah, it's a little razory situation.

Would you do a wax? You should have him waxed on this podcast. That's a really great idea. Like a live wax. Yes. Before Jackie gives us the deets on her live podcasting experience, I want to tell you guys about Latote. Okay, so this happened to me the other day and I feel like

you guys can relate to this. I was shopping and someone was following me around and it was highly annoying. I'm the type of shopper, I don't know about you, that likes to be left alone. I feel like I know what I want and what I don't want. I just want to do my thing when I'm shopping, which is why I like online shopping in my bed with a glass of wine and my computer. So I want to tell you guys about this fashion subscription box that sends brand name clothing and accessories right to your door for one low monthly fee. Like I always say, efficient. They're kind of like the style and fit experts. I feel like fit is so important. I'm always tailoring my stuff. So to already have a fit expert is just amazing. So they have this data to fit you better than any

other retailer. You can rent up to $700 worth of clothing from designer brands like Free People, Nike, Rebecca Minkoff, and more all month long. Basically you get as many totes as you want a month and you just wear it, return it, and repeat it. I love it. I was sent a bunch of clothes that I would have never worn if they hadn't sent it to me and I tried it on. I was like, oh my God, this is amazing. So I feel like it helps you be more confident. You save money.

You eliminate useless trips to the mall with people following you around. Just go to laytote.com. That's laytote, L-E-T-O-T-e.com to get started for as low as $39 a month enter promo code skinny at checkout to get 50% off your first month once you sign up you'll receive your completely customized tote within days wear what you want return everything in the mail when you're done and repeat all month long again that's laytote.com enter your code skinny and feel fabulous with fashion delivered right to your door. This is Norman Lear with my great sidekick, Paul Hipp.

Good to be here with you, Norman, on All of the Above. That's the name of my podcast, All of the Above. And it's called All of the Above because we're going to talk about all of the above. There isn't anything sacrosanct. There's nothing too above us or below us. Well, certainly nothing too below us. But we have had guests you cannot believe. Yeah. Yes. Julie Dewey Dreyfuss.

Amazing. And America Farrar. Jared Carmichael. Yes. Oh, Amy Poehler. How did we overlook? We didn't overlook Amy Poehler. I was saving her for last.

And Charles Barkley, I was saving him for first, actually, because I didn't declare him first. I get to hang out with this guy. And this is your chance to hang out with Norman Lear a little bit here and some of these great guests. God, I wish I was you hanging out with Norman Lear. Yeah. Son of a gun. See?

That must be exciting. It's the best. I'm telling you. Don't miss all of the above with Norman Lear. Download new episodes every week on the Podcast One app or subscribe at PodcastOne.com. This is the Skinny Confidential confidential him and her. Okay. Tell us about the live podcast. Did you have fun? Did you like it? Was it nerve wracking? Like give us all the ins and outs. I was more comfortable probably doing a live podcast than doing like

podcasts like this at the beginning. Now it's like second nature. It's not weird, but I used to get nervous for probably like, I would say like eight months. I would, I was consistently nervous every time. How many have you done? It's been two years. So like probably 105. And how many of those are live? Only one. We've only done one live podcast.

Would you do it again? Yeah, totally. We're going to do another. We're going to do a couple more. I liked your grandma so much. Oh my God. She loved you both. We're hitting it off. Did she try to slip

you the tongue? A little bit. Yeah. I saw that. That's cool though. She was like on you. She was hanging on you. I was like. Gloria, right? Gloria. Yeah, and she has a slick back which I love. Always. It's so chic. Always. She's so fabulous too. The way she talks with her hands and like

I just want to like listen to her on your podcast all the time. She's so fabulous, too, the way she talks with her hands. And, like, I just want to, like, listen to her on your podcast all the time. She's really sweet. Yeah. Really cool. She's sweet and spicy. Yeah, she is spicy. She's a hot little 86-year-old. And she partied with us until, like, midnight.

I mean, we were out. We were out pretty late, right? Yeah. We were doing a shot. I mean, she was having fun. She had her drink. Like, she was, like, ready to go. Oh, no.

She can hang. Yeah. She likes a scene. She hates old people. So anytime she can be around young people, she like really comes alive. And her skin is so pretty. Oh, crazy. She won't go in the sun.

That's the trick. See? That's the trick, Michael. You look at me like I'm like, get your ass in the sun. No, but you need to put on sunscreen. I don't go in the sun. Look at me. I look like a sheet of paper.

Yeah. I think I'm probably the pastiest person in this room. Do you go in the sun. Look at me. I look like a sheet of paper. Yeah. I think I'm probably the pastiest person in this room. Do you go in the sun? No, not really. I mean, I try to because I am like Casper. Are you going to do a spray tan before the wedding? Nope. I've never done a spray tan. I've never done the tanning bed. I'm not

fucking with it. I don't want to try it. I don't want to look orange. I just don't do it because I used to make me do it and it was really confusing and I had a lot of I used to make you do it no i had a lot of problems i didn't know how to do it his carrot was like hot orange when you did it when you mean carrot are you talking about his peepee yeah do you like how i say peepee that's a new thing that i didn't know you're supposed to go covered i just went right in you know dick out yeah i mean that's how i roll i guess i don't know how how you would cover it though like with what

a man song yeah they didn't have one big enough oh oh god i knew we set him up for that one it was an easy setup no but i i didn't know what to do i just i you don't know and then the first i also didn't know the first time you like bend over too no i just stood there like i actually you know what is actually kind of embarrassing i stood there like a like a scarow in the Blair Witch Palsy, you know, like the legs. Oh, yeah. That's not how you're supposed to stand. You're supposed to stand like that. Like Jesus Christ?

I'm almost a Leonardo. The Leonardo da Vinci, like the man, you know? Yeah. Like, that's how I was standing. Wow. And then, is it like a booth you go into and then it just like orbits around you? I felt like I was a car and a paintbrush. Have you really never done a spray tan?

I have. You guys, I'm like really, really very behind on everything. Like I never get my eyebrows waxed. Me and maintenance like don't really, I get blow dries. That's my thing. Okay. Everything else I'm very not good about. And do you have someone that's doing your hair on your wedding that you've used before?

Oh yeah, yeah. No, no. My hair is my problem area. So I've kind of got that figured out. But everything else, never had a spray tan ever. Ever. I can't believe you've never had a spray tan. I do it like once a week.

Never even done the tanning bed thing. I hate the tanning bed. I won't go in there. I don't get facials. Nothing. No. Double tint on your eyebrows? No.

I've never had anything tinted. Oh, my God. Except my vagina. I'm just kidding. We had to get one in there for you. We love to make you so uncomfortable. Do you get really uncomfortable when people talk about vaginas? No, he was a little uncomfortable when they talked about marbles popping out of a butthole.

So the lady gang came on here and they, I mean. Marbles of what? I have so many questions. Yeah, what marbles of what? Clots? You're asking me? Like I know. Placenta?

I didn't know there was marbles down there. No, hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids. Yeah, but they are turned into marbles when you get pregnant, I guess. There's a lot of things men shouldn't know about women. Like, they just shouldn't know. If men could carry babies, would you make Michael carry your child? A hundred percent, right?

Not a hundred, like a million percent. Me too. Oh, God, I would love that so much. A hundred percent like no doubt in my mind you know that too right like we're on this is gonna get me in trouble again no no say it say i don't know what the like why women are like complaining like i get it okay it's okay i'm gonna tell you there's been millions and millions of women that have done it before you like what's so special you get fat as fuck you turn into into fucking Shamu. Okay. You have to push a human being out of your vagina.

But isn't that what we're here for? You have to push a human. Imagine pushing a fucking human out of your penis hole. Well, I hope my penis. Or your asshole. No, imagine that right now. I hope. I want you to visualize.

Let's play Gone Girl again. No, it would be terrible. My dad used to tell me that it was like, that women told him that it was like taking your lower lip and pulling it over your back of your head. Yeah, how does that sound to you? Does that sound fun? It doesn't sound great. No sushi, no alcohol for nine months.

No alcohol is hard. I get it. Listen, I'm not saying that it's... Okay, here's... Okay, let me rephrase. I'm not saying that it's easy. No mansion coming... And you walk around like a bloated, fat, lard ass.

Yeah, but I'm not saying it's... Your feet swell. Your face swells. Your fingers swell. You can't fit your engagement ring or wedding ring. You're puking. I'm not saying it's easy. You can't see your vagina.

But like... How do you shave your legs? You don't. I'm not going to. But that's what we're here to do, right? Okay. And... Oh my God, he's so carrying the child they're gonna have they're gonna figure it out soon and you're a little jacksy right now no no and like enough just enough i hate everyone everyone complains about it okay until you do it i'm not gonna be judgmental there's that's there's never gonna be a time where i'm gonna do it my body's't be judgmental about it. There's never going to be a time when I'm going to do it. My body's not going to morph to where I'm able to carry a child inside of me.

I'm going to donate to some type of foundation that is in support of the research of men carrying children. Because I would totally make Andrew do it. The fact that I can't drink or have sushi for nine months and then I'm going to be disgusting pregnant. I'm going to be Kirstie Alley at the peak mixed with Shamu mixed with Shrek mixed with... I don't even want to think about it. Will you be in a Poi Loco?

I don't even want to know what my cravings are going to be like. I can't watch people eat food on TV because if I'm eating a taco and then I see somebody eating pasta I immediately have to have pasta. I'm eating like a taco and then I see somebody eating pasta, I immediately have to have pasta. Like I'm a very visual eater. So I have to fast forward through eating scenes.

So how do you watch the Kardashians? Well, I actually don't watch the Kardashians. You don't? I'm an intellect. I'm very, very highbrow and I just don't watch the Kardashians. Really? I would think you do. I know because I watch the shittiest TV of all time, but I don't watch that one.

Why don't you like the Kardashians? Because I feel like it's inauthentic, and I feel like it's contrived. Like, it's not real, and I get a little bored. I get bored. I watch it to see how smart they are at manipulating people. Like, it really, like, I got to give credit to all of them. Like, that whole clan is so strategic and so smart. I can't deal.

It's like, oh my God, Kim, Kourtney, Kylie, Kendall. I think Kendall is asexual. She does, yeah. I think there's something going on. She's either a lesbian or I think she's asexual. She gives me asexual vibes. Yeah, and Kylie is... And I've heard she gets down, down, down.

What does that mean? Like, I, like, know that she's, like, a freak in the sheets, but I think that that's overcompensating because she's asexual. Huh. Well, I just read Linda Thompson's book, who was Brody and Bruce's mom who was married to Bruce Jenner when he was Bruce. Also friends with Taylor Armstrong. Made a couple appearances on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, at Brandi Glanville's party in Malibu. Just saying a little trivia. I love that trivia.

And she was also Elvis's girlfriend. Oh my god. It's a good book. You should read it. It's got some juice in it. And now Caitlyn is coming out with her own book. She's such an asshole, Caitlyn Jenner. She's saying some mean things

about Kris and the Kardashians. She's a douchebag. And we're allowed to say that. Everyone was so sensitive about it because she's trans. But you know what? I think Caitlyn Jenner is such an asshole. Yeah, she hasn't been very nice with how she's handled it. I think, like,

forget about anything with her sexuality. It has nothing to do with that. People make it about that. That's such a stupid correlation. It has nothing to do with that. You could be an asshole in any gender. Yeah, she hasn't been the nicest. That's what I don't like about 2016-17, is that people use little crutches to be assholes.

They'll say, like, well, I'm this way, so I'm allowed to behave this way. Nope. Or I'm, you know, this way, so I'm allowed to behave this way. Nope. Or I'm, you know, this way, so I can act like this. And then everyone else isn't politically correct if they don't do the right thing. Like, I want to be able to walk up to anyone on this planet. Yeah. Gay, straight, trans, whatever.

Yeah. Black, white, whatever, anything. Totally. And if they're an asshole, I want to be able to look at them and say, listen, you're an asshole. And it has nothing to do with any other factor of other than you just being a complete dick. Yeah. I feel like people are using like they're they're using things.

This is like, well, I'm allowed to be this because of this. And I just think it's socially manipulative. Yes. And I ain't down for it. Yeah. And you know what else? I feel like she thought she was going to be like the star all of a sudden. And that backfired with her show because it got canceled.

And now she's trying to find another way another hole to go through to like a thirsty bitch let me tell you you can't you can't go up against chris jenner she is a business ninja yeah she is a business ninja she's my favorite kardashian she 100 like she is running the show like i have massive respect for her i read her book too you would like her book what is it called it's called just being chris yeah something like that just crit like it's something like that i totally made that up by the way it's like just chris i think that's what it's called actually it's called got your money again suckers yeah exactly they talk about the oj trial and it's really interesting her book is actually really really good it talks about like her whole history

with oj and nicole like, how that all transpired. And then it tells kind of how she built the kids, but she still doesn't give her secret sauce at all. And then I also read this book, which is kind of depressing, but it was a Sunday where I was laying in bed, like, just stuffing my face with food. And I read Kardashian Dynasty, which was interesting. And it's all about, like, the strategy and everything. Who wrote that? Somebody. Ianan i don't know somebody i'm just not i'm not into the kardashians i never have been you like the housewives more yeah it's just escapism and like it's just funnier and easier for me to watch like the kardashian thing i did the phenomenon and they just bought i don't

know they bother me okay but i have to ask you the most important question of the day. What did you think of Kim Richards giving the bunny back? Ooh, savage and amazing. Amazing. I thought that was so hilarious and the drama of it. I would be laughing hysterically. If I was Lisa Rinna, I would have laughed. I am very lost right now.

Okay. Well. You got to give a little snippet of it for him. So basically, Kim Richards and Lisa Rinna. Are you following? Do you know who these people are? Yes, he does. Oh, okay, great.

I do. Okay, so they have had a rough history. Okay? So as an olive branch, Lisa Rinna brings Kim this blue fucking bunny, okay, because she just had a grandchild. So Kim Richards, savage Kim Richards, holds on to this bunny still in the cellophane for, I'm assuming, seven months and then brings it to the reunion and whips it. I'm always nervous what they're going to whip out from behind that fucking couch. It's either a manila folder or like a prop and gives it back to Lisa. And she doesn't want it.

Bad energy. Someone who has a manila folder. I'm having, it's just anxiety. I didn't, I didn't give this money back. It's bad energy. I'm not going to give this to my grandkid.

How much have you learned from watching the real housewife reunions though? Because like, I always say you should live with your friends and with everybody like you're going to have a reunion special and someone's going to whip out a manila folder on you because like I will not put anything in writing ever like no screenshots you're never going to find a screenshot

of some shit I've said about you because it does not exist a text no text no text no emails I mean I don't really talk shit about people I love. I'm very brutal to people's faces, obviously. So that's not really a problem that I have. But I still live like someone's going to bust out a manila folder that says, like, Jackie on it.

That's smart. I think that's really smart. I'm like Joe Pesci in Casino now, you know, when he runs around all the different pay phones and holds the toothpick over his mouth. I feel like someone's watching all the time. Me too. Like the Truman Show. What about how much you've learned about how they strategically sit? Oh, I love that.

Yeah. I love that. Like the two famous ones are next to Andy. Uh-huh. And then like the middle ones are the ones that are going to feud. They have to be across from each other. And then the least significant are the ones. Like Eden's or like.

Ugh, Eden. Give her the hook. She's such a buzzkill she's a little boring she's boring and like i can't with her yeah i i don't think they'll bring her back because she's just a friend yeah she's out and they heather debrow's off i know she's off and she seems really nice she is really nice we both did her show yeah um and she didn't want to be a friend. I know. Interesting.

I know. I love the housewives, so I'm very up to date with everything they're doing. Michael's like, hmm. I'm sorry. Do you not like housewives? Because every time I have it on, you take your noise away. No, no, no. Which one's your favorite? No, no.

Here's the thing. If you had to pick one, Sophie's choice. You know who it is. No, here's the thing. Who's your favorite? No, here's the thing. It's not that I don't like it or dislike it. If it's on, it's

hard to not look. Who do you like best? Tell her who you like best. On which one? You know exactly who you like. Who do you like best? No, I really don't know which one you're talking about. It starts with an E. If you say Eden, I'm going to punch you. No, no, no. I like the Erika Jayne one.

Oh, the Erika Jayne one. I like hell yeah. Oh, the Erika Jayne one. I like people that just say it how it is. I love Erika Jayne. Her meltdown in Hong Kong was a little... Unbecoming. I didn't like that. I didn't like that either. It was...

And the way she handled it afterwards, it was... It put me off a little bit. Same with me. And I, like, loved her... I still do love her. Me too. Like, diehard fan. But that was a little unbecoming.

Yeah, it wasn't super cute. Yeah, she was crying about you don't know what I deal with. I was like, you need to stop. You need to get your shit together. You need to go to the bathroom. Oh, shit. Sorry. I'm getting really excited. She needs to cry on the inside and dab

it out and just relax. I agree. Okay. I wish Andrew was here. I know. We could have a side conversation while this is. Okay. I wish Andrew was here. I know. We could have a side conversation while this is going on. Andrew watches The Housewives. He does. Oh, yeah. Yeah, see, Andrew's on board.

He loves Vicky. He loves Orange County. And he loves New Jersey. There's some big drama happening. I like hanging with Andrew. Andrew really likes you. I thought he was going to come here, but he didn't. No, he's afraid because he knows that he would probably end up being on this podcast.

And he doesn't... 100%. I would drag him right in. You would have bullied him into doing it. I would have sat him right down in the seat. You wouldn't want him as a guest. He's a little... Why?

He's so sweet. So sweet. But he gets really nervous and he starts schvitzing. When are we hanging again? When am I going to see him again? We're going to dinner. Oh, yeah. We're going to dinner.

May. May. I don't know the date. Whatever. It's at the end of May. I forgot we were podcasting for a second. Sorry. Michael is trying to manipulate his way on your podcast with me.

Oh, I would love that. Maybe his strategy was that's why he wanted Andrew here so he could try to get on because I think he heard Jax and and he was a little maybe jealous. I'm not jealous. I don't get jealous. You guys are coming on. Oh, he's very excited about that. We've been manipulating my way on.

Do you want me to formally invite you? I thought there was something coming in the mail. I was waiting. I'm standing outside every day looking for the mailman. I have a telegram. Someone's going to come sing to you. It was an event bright. Would you like to come separately, alone, or would you like to come sing to you. It was an event bright. Would you like to come

separately alone or would you like to come with your partner? No, no, no. We could do whatever's easy. Whatever's easy. I like how you slipped that in there. So you guys will both come on together. I think he wants his own mic kind of thing. Okay, perfect. Would you like a particular

beverage there for you or a snack? Send me your rider. What's on your rider? I'll send somebody. I'll send somebody ahead of me. All green M&Ms. Oh, perfect. There'll be a car that comes before I come. Just to sage the place and make sure?

We'll clear the area and make sure you don't have anything that's unpleasing to the eye in there. Cover the windows. No, he's excited. He was asking. I said, I don't know. You have to ask her on air. Oh, my God. Of course.

Yes, please. We'll have to ask her on air. Oh my God, of course. Yes, please. We'll have to have Andrew on alone. That would be... You'd lose all your listeners. I'm not like a six-year-old kid that needs to hide behind her skirt, but thank you for doing that. I like to just slip it in. Yeah, he was very excited. Okay, so we're

going to come on your podcast at the end of May, so you guys can check that out. I've also been on Jackie's podcast. Yeah. And if you guys haven't listened to The Bitch Bible, you're missing out, because it's one of my favorite podcasts. She is so fucking funny.

I'm really loving the Vanderpump theme lately. Yes. Lots of Vanderpump. Yes. Jax. I liked Katie. Stassi's. We've had almost everyone on except the boys.

I invited DJ James Kennedy. He declined publicly. He blocked me on all social media, but he told me I was a dumb bitch. Whoa. And I was like, bitch, yes. Dumb compared to you, not so much. He is funny, though.

He does have some comedy behind him. I really, really want Andrew to email him and offer him some type really want andrew to like email him and like offer him some type of a session just to fuck with him but andrew would never do that what about lala um i don't know i would have her on i'd have anybody on but i think people are afraid yeah you know i mean you're very easy to podcast with totally i'm not gonna like i would never bring somebody on i know some people that do that in the podcast world. I'll tell you later.

I like to bring people on to kind of like make them uncomfortable or like elevate themselves. So they just use you to like set you, set them up for their monologue or whatever. But I would never do that. Here comes the question that we've been waiting to ask. Yeah.

What is it? I'd probably answer it. I got nothing. Okay, so you guys can find her on the Bitch Bible. My favorite episodes are I love the Vanderpump. I love the ones with your grandma. Your cousin is funny. Cousin Joe. As fuck. Breakout star. If they were just going to start listening

to you, not that they all probably do listen to you, but if they were going to start, where should they start? What's your fave? My favorite? I have a lot of favorite episodes. I don't know. I couldn't even tell you. The ones with Morgan Stewart, I really love. I love ours.

You guys have a lot of chemistry, too. Yeah, she's on fire. She's so funny. Yeah, I love the ones with Morgan. Stassi's always slam dunk. I love Menage a Deux that's a good one Brandy and Julie there's a bunch I don't know I'm I'm

listening to the Bible you gotta listen go subscribe Raider she is funny as fuck thank you so much for coming on where can everyone find you at Jackie Schimmel everywhere and follow her on Snapchat because you make the best food oh god i'm that

girl it's so embarrassing i hate myself but you know when you're not that interesting sometimes you just gotta spice it up right guys right thank you for coming on thank you thanks for listening you guys i hope you laughed your ass off at that episode like i did. Be sure to subscribe, rate and review with a skinny confidential him and her podcast on iTunes and tell a friend about us. We want to spread the word. See you next week. Thanks for listening to the skinny confidential him and her with Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic. Download new episodes every Tuesday at podcastone.com or subscribe now on the Podcast One app. Here's an interesting fact for you. There are nearly 1 million new books published in the U.S.

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