The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - #74: The Minute Man with Taylor O'Connor aka The Bare Naked Cucumber

Episode Date: August 8, 2017

On this episode we sit down again with the one and only Taylor O'Connor (@tailsyoudie) aka The Bare Naked Cucumber. Taylor has been a regular on the show and we learn something new every time we sit down with him.  Today we discuss fears, the dating world, finishing the race too fast in the bedroom, and how to work with friends. WARNING: This one is not for those with sensitive ears! To connect with Taylor click HERE Listen to Episode 33 with Taylor and Annabelle DeSisto from Adderall and Compliments HERE Listen to Episode 31 with Taylor to learn how he got his nickname "The Bare Naked Cucumber" HERE Listen to Episode 42 with Taylor to listen to the time he spoke at our wedding HERE To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn’s latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you’ll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

The following podcast is a Bostik Media production. This episode is brought to you by the Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide. So you guys know I have a meal plan and a body guide. It's basically all my workouts and everything I like to eat on a regular basis in one place. It's kind of like an e-book. It's pretty. It's pink. It's got all my skinny hacks. It has my favorite cocktails. It has how I micromanage the bartender basically every skinny secret that I have in one place that I've learned over the years of talking

to fitness experts and nutritionists the workouts are quick easy efficient and you can do them while watching Real Housewives all you have to do is go to members.theskinnyconfidential.com and type in the code him and her at checkout for 20% off. That's him and her at checkout for 20% off. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her.

This is a little warning, guys. If you have kids in the car, you might want to listen to this another time. It's a little vulgar. This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her. So thank God you did push-ups before we got on air. I do have a nice pump going on right now. My pectoral muscles are swell. Nobody's going to notice any of that. Hi guys, welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her show. You have me, Lauren Everts, the creator of the Skinny Confidential, which is a podcast, obviously, book, brand, and blog. And then you have me, Michael Bostic, the star of the show, businessman, entrepreneur.

Lauren is basically my Robin, and I am basically the Howard Stern of this show. Oh my God. Now that we're calling it a show, Lauren's big on calling it a show now. Did you write that down? No, I didn't. Right off the top of the head. Seething at the mouth to be introduced. He's shaking. He's perspiring. Upper lip is sweating. He has notes written down. Let me give him a little intro. So to my right is my friend, good friend, also co-worker, Taylor O'Connor. He has been a regular on this show in the past, but for those of you that are new to the show,

you may not have heard from him because he's been on a hiatus. He was on Time Out. The last episode he was on, I believe, was episode 58, and now we're well into the 70s. So he was literally sidelined for about 20 episodes. For his most prominent appearances on this show, you should check out episodes 33 and 52 with our friend Annabelle from Adderall and Compliments. I think that performance on those shows that he did really kind of paints a clear picture. But if you really, really, really want to get a clear picture of who this guy is to my right, check out the episode titled Mr. Piss Pants Wild Ride the episode, but basically told me that I had the biggest dick at the wedding and everyone needs to bow down to me

and that Michael was the beauty and I'm the beast. And then he proceeded to go to a strip club after my rehearsal dinner and piss his pants everywhere. Pre-lap dance, he decided to get on stage and dance with the strippers and then get a lap dance with piss running down his leg. And this is just a couple of the things that happened at the wedding. It's funny, we pulled all the audio from the wedding speeches and actually put it on that episode, episode 42, Mr. Piss Pants. So you can actually go and hear that cringeworthy speech. It was definitely something to behold, especially in front of all of our friends and family. So with that, Taylor O'Connor, welcome back to the show. Let everyone know what you've been up to. Who are you?

What have you been doing? What's going on? Wait, just don't read off your composition notebook either. You got to look at me when you talk. I don't know why you need a composition notebook. This is literally your like 12th appearance on this show. Yeah, I just actually there. It's more or less random notes I've written down. But anyways, I'm surprised. This is like your big return. It is.

I have to. I have to come out with a banger. I'm basically going to fizzle away. I'd rather go out. I'd rather become ash than dust. So I'm going to basically try to go flaming out here. So I'm surprised you actually didn't say that I was, I took most of my clothes off in that trip club. I don't even think we mentioned that. Not all of them. I was

still wearing my boxers. Did you take your clothes? Wait, hold on, hon. This is how you want to go in and introduce yourself. You want to go in and just talk about the clothes. You don't want to like, let everyone know who you are, what you're about, your name, your hobbies. Well, my name is Taylor O'Connor. I've known Michael and Lauren for a long time. I think I met them both in sixth grade. I've worked for Michael for about five years, I think. Oh, longer than that. Longer than that. And basically, I would say I would sum myself up to that picture of that clown that's crying is I'm like a person who people find humorous, but I'm like really dying for people to take me seriously. I really see. How can you die for people to take you seriously when you walk into a strip club with piss all over your legs,

take off your clothes, and ask for a lap dance? Well, I'm doing the best I can. Okay. Well, let's try to be better, Taylor. Also, the good thing is I got 200 new followers in the last four months on Instagram. Working my way up. Whoa, that was a practice. I've seen you, and we have a secret Facebook group for the podcast. And I saw you the other day

plugging your Twitch channel. For those of you that don't know what Twitch is, it's a online, what do you call it? Like an e-sports gaming? Yeah, it's an e-sports thing. So I've played computer games ever since I was young and I basically bought a green screen and I filmed myself playing computer games. Yeah, it sounds kind of dorky now that I actually say it in public, but it's quite fun. And if you ever want to watch it, you could. There is, you know, it's out there.

Are you plugging yourself again? I'm not going to plug it right now, but it exists. You just plugged it. If you dig it. If you search hard enough, you'll be able to find it. I feel like you were really excited to let everyone know

that you just went up 200 followers on Instagram. Actually, now who I follow and who follows me is like a little bit above. So that's like a good moment for me. It's a moment of success. You follow some interesting characters, don't you? I thought you were just supposed to follow everybody that follows you back out of care at a courtesy, but then it turns out that they just immediately unfollow you. And then you're following all these random people and then they, they look cool. And then you look like a

loser. My God. So for this episode, I think what the best thing we can do here one we got to answer we have a lot of listener questions that came in so we're going to dive through those but i want to know i know what's been going on in your life but for those of you or for those that have not been following you lately and who have been wondering what you've been up to and actually kind of for my own interest, because outside of the office, inside of us talking, I know you've been, and I see you doing things,

but I want to know what you've really been up to. What's been going on in your life? Well, I've actually been, I've been facing some fears. I've actually, I haven't been to the beach in seven years and I went, because I have a phobia of sharks.

It's like, there's three things that scare me. Sharks, paralysis by jumping on trampolines, and then getting in a car crash if i was like ass naked and i had to get out and inspect the damage wait wait you're you don't go to the actual beach like you mean like you mean you don't go in the water or you actually don't go to the beach because you think a shark's gonna fly up on the beach i just stay away from the beach at all costs man it's too close let's talk about the trampoline thing because that's that's a new one for me i've never heard that one where are you talk about the trampoline thing because that's a new one for

me. I've never heard that one. Where are you jumping on a trampoline? I've never seen you do it. Well, that's exactly why I have a phobia because I haven't done it since I was a young kid and hence why I'm not probably I can walk. Good thing that Weston literally just brought my mini trampoline to the office because I want to be like Tony Robbins and jump on it every morning for lymphatic drainage. I'm going to make you face your fear. I think if they actually, I want to know the statistics of people who jump on trampolines versus people who have actually had accidents. I guarantee you there's still, I don't want to be that small percentage where it's like, you know, you're jumping on the trampoline, you're having so much fun. Next thing you know, you're, you're paralyzed.

I don't think that's going to happen to you, but I mean, I learned something new about you every time we talk. I mean, I feel like we've known each other for so long, literally since we were 10 years old, we've worked together so close. And every time I talk to you and bring you on this show, I learned something new that I was not expecting. I mean, to have the, I can understand the shark thing, right? I'm scared of sharks too. I don't really want to mess around with that. I don't, I don't fuck around with those either, but trampolines. And what was the third one driving in your car, crashing naked? First of all, what would you be doing in the car naked in the first place? So I had a dream a long time ago

where it was more or less a nightmare, but I woke up and thought that's a fear of mine. I never want this to happen is I'm driving in a car naked and I rear end somebody. Isn't that the most, like the easiest thing to prevent in the world? Just don't drive around naked. Yeah. But still my mind works as it's something bad's happening. So in the dream, the guy, you know, when you, whenever you rear end somebody, they get out of the car and they're looking, they're going, look at this damage. And they're looking, we don't need your whole life story to get out of the car, but I can't because I'm naked. Okay. So what's now that we've, we've established your fears, what's been going on in your life? What have you been up to? I think the

biggest question on people's minds in the podcast group is what was, what, what ended up happening with you and Annabelle? So I would say, well, technically, yes. What I was going to say is what I'm notorious for doing, unfortunately. And it just was this time period is I didn't strike while the iron was hot. And I, I actually regret it. It's surprisingly, I don't want that surprisingly because usually if I look, if I reflect, I'm usually, I'm a type of person that usually whenever something happens, I go, okay, well it happened and I move forward. But this in particular, I actually do regret because when I hung out with Annabelle, I think we went on, we, I think we hung out four or five times, three were, or two, two official dates. All the others were kind of more like group hangouts,

but every time she definitely steals the show where I, I, it's almost like you're staring into like a, a shooting star or I, that's what I used at your wedding. I, it's almost like you're staring into like a shooting star. That's what I used at your wedding. I referred to you as like a shooting star, but she's very, she attracts attention and she has a personality like no other girl I've ever met. Because if you think of someone who most girls, what they are is they laugh at jokes and they go, ha ha. And you, most guys go, yeah, this girl, this girl has good humor, but usually the girls don't have good humor. They just have their, they can laugh at other people's jokes. Either that or you've got some girl that's very rigid and not funny.

But Annabelle, I've never met a girl that actually made me laugh where I'm listening to her going, tell me more. Okay, so there was a bunch of really nice things. The iron's freezing and off. The iron is cold. That's exactly why. I just waited too long. I waited too long.

And unfortunately, by that time that the iron was plunged into that cold ocean. The iron's at the bottom of the Titanic. Yeah. So for those of you wondering, he blew it. The iron's cold. And he'll never get over it. No, but I am disappointed about it. Annabelle, if you're listening,

he's a mess. Annabelle, he's been busy figuring out his fear of sharks and trampolines. So that's what he's been busy doing. Michael just literally asked you what you've been busy doing. And you said that you were figuring out your fear of sharks and trampolines. I need to give you more to do for work. I guess that doesn't really come out as well as I thought it did. I mean, what else have you been doing?

Your birthday is coming up. And I guess I better throw away that trampoline gift certificate. Well, Wes and I are going to go away that trampoline gift certificate. Well, Wes and I are going to go to Vegas. Shit, I was going to take you shark watching. I would probably,

if you, I was going to pull up butt naked in my car and take you for a drive. I'm telling you, somebody out there listening has gone, oh my God,

how do they know? Like, think of all the people that live in nudist colonies. They have to transport somewhere. I don't think they, I think like when they're going, just like you know one to you know just be a member of society and two not to like get you know sex offender charges brought against

them they probably drive to the colony with their clothes on and when they're there they're like okay this is the established safe space i don't think they're just like hopping in the car butt naked and taking off oh my god if i got in a car crash and it was by a school, I would just get out and run. It would be a hit, a nude hit and run. If you were by a school nude, you would be going to jail. Well, that's why I'd run. It's because they would just throw you in because you're in the proximity. Okay. So you, outside of what you've been doing with me, we've been working on a lot of different things. What has been going on in your personal life? Have you been dating? Have you been? So I've been going out and this is kind of what's what's going on with

the dating app so I've been going out actually I've abandoned most the dating apps because again they suck filters do they really suck or was it the profile pick choices that's it's probably the profile picks choices because there's a friend of ours who says he's had he at one point had over 200 matches and I think the most matches I've ever had is one or two and i the last one i matched with which was basically the straw that broke the camel's back is was a fake one it was a fake profile and she started sending me all these weird catfished uh what is it gifts of of some guy and some girl having intercourse and then i go wait a second this doesn't seem right she goes i want to taste your hot, you know, load. And I'm like, this isn't real.

This isn't real. And it wasn't real, unfortunately. Okay. Okay. So you abandoned the dating apps. So then I started going out and I've been going out because I usually am not a big person to go out and, you know. And how are you getting girls when you go out?

I'd love to know. I want to provide some value to the audience on this episode. So how, okay, the dating apps aren't working. How are you finding dates at this point? It's 2017. You're a single man. Where are you meeting these women or are you meeting women? He's meeting them at shelter and he's using the skinny confidential pop socket that he has on his phone and walking around with it up to his face to get girls. We have, so you know, Taylor had people message us and come up to us saying they have spotted you out locally in San Diego and that you are name dropping the skinny confidential. No, you aren't. Like a mofo. Is he really? He's out there. He's, yep. He's, he's out there. He's

loose. I only did it one time and I, it was because I was floundering really badly and the girl, it looked bad or it didn't, or it looked bad and it felt bad. And then I go, Oh, do do you know or do you follow Lauren on this can you confidential? They're like, yeah, why and That was the perfect window and then I still blew it because you know why because I ended up talking about myself the whole time And I never actually what I should have said is excuse me. Tell me about yourself. Yeah, I didn't I like caught her in the in the in the lobster cage But I forgot to close the door. She got out you caught her in the lobster cage, but I forgot to close the door. She got out. You caught her in the lobster cage. I feel like girls don't like to be referred to as lobster. So that's kind of where you went wrong there. Let's not name drop me. Let's not. I only do it for last ditch scenario.

It was sink or swim. Okay. So how are you meeting women? I want to know. I want to know. I want to like, there's a lot of, there's a lot of single people out there that want to say, okay, where can I meet a guy? Where can I meet a nice guy? Probably not a lobster fisherman or whatever, but where can I meet a guy so I can pick up a date? Okay. So the way I'm old school, because I personally really like to have somehow a personal connection

to be able to speak to the person. So I don't like to go to clubs. I know it's a big thing. People like to go to clubs and they really like it. But the one downside is the music so loud and there's, you know, seizure esque lights taking place. And you have to have these conversation with these people you can't hear. And most of the conversation is what, and they go, huh? And you go, yeah. And then like, let's dance. And the next thing, you know, you have this number from this girl that you didn't have any meaningful connection with.

So I like to go to, I actually don't even like to go to the bars. I wish I could go to a library and pick up a girl. Dude. Okay. I'm going to give you a hundred bucks here on the spot. If you can name three books you've read in the last two months, three, and no, don't lie to me. You can't lie to me. Well, how about one book that I've been reading for three months? Okay. So what are you going to do? Peruse around the library with one book? You just keep... What I do is I just get the big stack. Like that librarian that's going to go back to put them back after someone grabbed them out, which eventually the person would end up doing.

So you want to meet girls in the library, but you don't read books? Well, I like to read books. I like to start them, but not finish them. Comic books. Comic books are great. Some comic books are great. Now we're talking.

So someone asked in the secret Facebook group, if you liked me and Michael being mean to you, can you explain to the audience our sense of humors? I want to also clarify that. Are we really mean or are we just showcasing? Like this is real life, people. This is, I don't know, like it's not like an act. It's not like we can make this up.

These are things that I just see like, listen, Taylor, I love you. You know that. We've been together for a long time. It sounds like we're fucking in a relationship, but we've had a relationship for a very long time. And I would say Taylor is hands down one of my best friends and one of my most trusted compadres.

With that being said, he's a weird son of a bitch sometimes. And he does a lot of weird things that I want to show to the world. And it's, it's, he's kind of like the WB frog that just kind of ribbits. And then you give him a stage and a platform and he starts tap dancing and singing. I promise you that if you asked like 300 people on the street, what their biggest fears were top three fears, you might get sharks. That's, that's not too uncommon. Not that fly up on the beach, though. Probably not. But you would not get paralyzing yourself on a trampoline and crashing butt naked in a car. If anyone has those fears, by the way, we have someone for you. Please email me.

Did you know I'm actually, even when I swim in a pool, I still, part of me thinks that there may be a shark in the pool. I remember when I was like five years old and the lights would be off in a pool. And I know people relate when you're like again we don't need your you know when you're a kid you know when you're a kid and like the lights are off in the pool when you're like five years old you drive and you get scared there's something in the water i get that yes it's those the whites of their eyes they're white and they glaze over next thing you know you're dead i think remember that movie with ll cool j yeah that's uh deep blue sea my my head is like a shark's fin that's what the rap song he says. So we're not mean to Taylor.

This is our banter, guys. It's light. It's funny. It works for us. But let me reiterate that. I play to my strengths. So the way that I am as far as my friends, 99, actually probably 100% of all my friends

like me for my unique personality. I've never once had a friend come to me and say, hey, Taylor, I want to let you know that you give me the greatest advice ever. Or say, I mean, technically people have said you're my rock. You do give good advice. So yeah, but I'm saying that's not my strength. My strength is making people laugh. So we're usually, it doesn't matter what I have to do to do that. I like to entertain people. And I think Michael and Lauren, you said showcase. That's a very good, that's,

I think I responded to somebody and I used over a thousand words and he summed it up with one. The way that you guys push me showcases my personality. And most people, if they met me in person, they probably go, oh, he's really not like that. And then they meet me and go, oh my God, he really is. So we're not mean to Taylor guys. Taylor's okay. Taylor loves it. I don't know how you, and it's, and it's Taylor and I have a very unique relationship just because we've been through so many things together. Like he's really been with me almost throughout my whole business career, almost through my whole life. So like, he's really seen ups, downs. We've tried things that had success, had failure. So it's like, you've kind of been there throughout the whole thing. You really have a full,

you've been there for just as long as Lauren's brand's been around. Yeah. I wonder who, who we'd choose in a, in a, in a fight. I'm just kidding. In a fight. All right. Like who's going to, I'm just joking. All right. Um, so we have reader questions today. I believe we have four questions. It's kind of a medley. I just feel like Taylor is sort of a medley as a person. So to put him on an episode, that's a mixture. We've been doing a lot of themes, themed episodes like, you know, fitness or health. So this one's kind of just a collection of you guys' questions. You guys know you can always email me questions at podcast at the skinny confidential.com. So I feel like we should get into the first question.

The biggest question, the most, the most questions that come in for you, Taylor, people want to know about your dating life. They want to know what your best lessons that you've learned so far dating, you know, on dating apps and what you've been doing single. So, and they want to know best grooming tips for men. So, and they also want to know best and worst dates. So I think let's break it down and say, what are some of the lessons you've learned dating in the world in 2017? Okay. So I'm going to have to, one thing about this is, is interesting. So the reason my, or my dating advice. So the reason I've become, this is kind of embarrassing. I'm actually surprised I'm saying this. So the reason that I'm so good, I'm really good at romance and romantic sappy stuff, but there's a reason why. It's because I want to say out of the,

I don't know the specific number off the top of my head. It's not very big, but of every girl that I've ever been sexually with. Intimate with. Intimate. That's the worst. I don't think I've ever pleased any of them. Okay.

Ever. Whoa. Okay, that's a bold, that is a bold statement are you kidding taylor i'm dead serious i'm the worst i'm terrible so the it has to do with i think they they sometimes they it's like uh i don't have the sexual stamina you know where if there's a reason behind it this really took a turn wait wait wait wait wait this is like a whole episode i didn't know you were gonna throw this card out there say that again say that statement again so okay here i'll say uh what's the term are we gonna use technical can we just use like kindergarten like why don't you why don't you

use the words that you think are appropriate and then i will come in if i think that if if we or lauren will come in if we think we can okay so trust me this i find i'm doing this because i actually find entertainment by this, and trust me, by no means say what you will because I think it's funny. I am a premature ejaculator. Okay. I don't know what to do here. Oh, my God.

I don't need, I can't stand no minute, man. I don't want no minute, man. All right. Okay, so let's- We got to tell everyone for this episode that if they have kids in the car that they gotta turn the volume down yeah i don't even know how just tell the kids have a conversation taylor's shooting off the pop rocks a little early well basically what i'm getting at is so i've never you know most times that i get you know intimate most girls are going there's a line of girls outside waiting to hang out with you after this podcast. It doesn't matter.

The way that I work is I use technically what could be as my weaknesses and I make them my strength. So I have nothing. How are we going to make this a strength? I don't have anything to hide, basically. So I just- Apparently not. If somebody gets some sort of entertainment out of my failures, it's then good.

I'm glad. I'd rather make someone laugh and then you know i myself it's i find enjoyment by it but does anyone out there have any tips for taylor i'm dead serious i know there's no tips i've tried everything trust me no maybe they do let's let's hear what you can comment on taylor's instagram i want to i want to hear what you've tried here let's now that we're here we might as well stay here what okay go go on so what i was getting at is you know most of my life i've never heard a girl go, oh, my God, that was amazing. I've heard a lot of that's it. Or I've heard a lot of, oh, like, don't worry.

I've heard a lot of what else have I heard? Oh, you know, that happens to other people, too. I myself, the better ones that I say when I go, oh, don't worry, round two will be better. And there's never round two. Or I say, what else is another good one? I go, oh, that's never happened before. Bullshit. Another one that I like is, oh, my God.

Yeah, I was just too turned on. So I couldn't hold it. That's a good one. I would go with that one. That one usually works. Okay. I mean, first of all, I appreciate your honesty. I don't know how much I really appreciate it. And part of me really doesn't appreciate it. Now I don't know what, okay. I mean, first of all, I appreciate your honesty. I don't know how much I, I really

appreciate it. And then part of me really doesn't appreciate it now. I don't know what to do. Um, but what do you think the core issue of this is? Because I mean, I like to, Lauren and I like to provide value in any kind of way possible. So maybe there's some, there's somebody out there that's listening that has the same problem. Maybe they have a boyfriend with the same problem. There's a guy with this problem. What do you think the core issue is here and how do you think you'd solve it? And I never thought that this episode would turn into us solving premature ejaculation or providing by on how to solve it, but let's go there. What do you, what do you think causes it? You know, what I actually think it is, is when I was younger, I had a, what is it?

Where they jam that needle up your urethra. I have no idea what that is. A catheter. A catheter. Yeah, I had a catheter. Okay, I know what a catheter is. And I think that caused some issues. But it very well could be. It's nothing emotional.

If you can sum this up in two minutes, let's sidetrack. Why did you need a catheter? Because they needed to test. I had something go wrong with one of my kidneys when I was younger. Okay. Okay.

Let's keep going. So what I was going to say is it's basically, I mean, I just find it funny. So I basically became really good at, you know, what would be considered cunnilingus. Oh, Christ. So you've Googled it. No, no. I just, you know, I'm trying to use less vulgar terms here just in case there's kids in the car.

I think at this point, the kids, if they're in the car and the're, the parents are still listening, you might have to question yourself as a parent, but, um, keep going. Okay. So the main reason that I don't really care about saying this is, I mean, girls talk, I mean, guys don't really kiss and tell, but girls definitely do. So, you know, that conversation girl, you know, any girl that I've been intimate with has gone to her friends and been like, Oh my God, like laughing, like, wait a minute. Is that true, Lauren? Do you think that happens? Here's what I feel. I'm getting this vibe from you. Tell me if I'm like off track.

I feel that you have had sex with someone that listens to this podcast that you've maybe embarrassed yourself with. And I feel like you're throwing it out there with subliminal messages to like let her know that maybe you should give you another shot, even if it's two seconds. No, no, it's, it's probably anybody. And there's probably girls going, Oh my God,

you know what? I heard that through the grapevines. Poor Annabelle. She really missed the boat. Poor Annabelle. Yeah. Maybe she dodged a bullet with that one. Shucks Annabelle. Literally. But the one, I would say the only downside to this whole thing is, is I know that every girl that I've been with at one point, you know, when we break up, of course, they go with the next guy and, you know, they're having intercourse and they're going, you know,

at some point she goes, yes. And the guy probably goes, what? And she goes, nothing, you know, because in her head, she's thinking, thank God. I think that you've, I mean, maybe that's happening, but I think this is probably not so healthy that you've like really thought this through and thought about people with another guy. And like, I think, I think you're going too far down the rabbit hole. And I think maybe this is contributing to the issue. No, no, I'm super confident. I'm like, wow. I really just wanted to discuss travel hacks today, but I'm so confident. Like I rock it. I'm like, yeah, I'm going to give you the best five seconds of your life. You know what? Oh, here, here's a good example. You know, Jeff Bezos

just became the richest man in the world. Yes. I don't see what this has to do. You're premature. Today I might've been like crowned the fastest ejaculator in the world yes i don't see what this has to do you're premature today i might have been like crowned the fastest ejaculator in the world i don't want no man i gotta change the subject michael i just ate keen i don't know if that's a crown you want to wear buddy okay so so did why doesn't even know where to go why did you bring this story up? Did something happen? What was necessary? The question was, what have you learned about dating in 2017? And this is if you learned that you're just a... Yeah, so now it goes into...

So a lot of people nowadays are so caught up in the physical aspect of it that I'm really big on the emotional part of it. And that's what I'm getting is myself. I mean, I basically make... You know, a good example is I make love like a gray worm from Game of Thrones. The guy doesn't have a penis. He's a eunuch. He just like goes down with the girl. So, but you know, you got to get that emotion. It's all about that emotional connection. That's where the real fireworks are.

The girls, they are lining up. So can you, okay. Can you give an example of a time that this happened or the lot, like what happens when this happens? So you're dating somebody, you're going out. The creepiest thing, Michael, is that he wrote this down in his composition notebook and he's using his peripherals to like look at it every five minutes to make sure he gets in everything about his premature ejaculation. Our last two episodes was a very inspirational episode with Tony Robbins

and then a very inspirational episode with Kim Kelly on fitness. And now we've gone to premature ejaculation. I want to know, okay, so can you give us a story or an example? Or are you just saying this happens every time? No, I mean, those stories aren't, or I have a good connection. So this led to, there's things called sprays and there's things called edging. So the sprays, yeah, the sprays work, but the thing is they make you, they don't, I mean, just to be unvulgar, but they basically make you feel like you have nothing. You basically feel like a eunuch.

No, no, no. You feel numb. Yeah. You feel numb. Numb is like an understanding. Should we change your name from the bare naked cucumber to the bare naked eunuch? Bare naked premature ejaculating cucumber. I wonder if the hair would add a little bit of protection that maybe like if you had the hair there, you wouldn't be so sensitive. It's to be determined. So there's the only thing that worked actually, because I guess technically not so much anymore,

but it's called edging. Okay. No, no, no, no, no. People can go Google that. I'm going to throw up if I hear about like edging. No, no. But it's something that's physically, if you research it, it's one of the few things that works. So anyways, this, the story took place is edging is you can, I won't get into the details of it. You can,

again, you can Google it, but they say to edge, but they never say beyond that. I'm sure all the girls are running to Google. First of all, I, Lauren asked me when I first heard about edging, if I knew what it was. And I could honestly say that none of us knew what it was. None of the guys in the office, we didn't know. So I don't even know how you figured this out. Honey, you don't need to edge. Well, let's not go down my path, but okay. So you're edging, you're practicing, you're warming yourself up, you're taking yourself close to the edge, but you're never getting there. Edging like a champ. So.

And then what happens? You go on a date? yourself close to the edge but you're never getting there edging like a champ so and then what happens you go on a date so i go on a date with the girl a couple dates with the girl and again she's a little older so again so i'm how old is she i want to say she's about 35 there's a story behind that so i'm a little nervous i'm going oh my god not only is she older than me now i'm younger so i have to the last thing i ever want to do is you know not perform with a she said i got myself a young stallion here. Exactly. She's probably thinking, I've got this young buck who's really going to go to town.

I'm thinking to myself, oh my God, what am I going to do? So I'm, I'm sitting there at her place, like trying to, you know, figure out where the doors and exits are just in case, you know, I have to somehow make a quick break for it and things, you know, it starts to get hot and heavy. But the one thing about the edging that they don't say is, you know, before you're supposed to edge, edge, edge edge and then release so i did the edge edge edge but there was there was no release and i would say that the reason that's bad that i didn't do is because are you familiar with pompeii you know i would have been like mount vesuvius but instead of like you know volcanic

ash it would have been you know semen oh my christ so so it gets it gets you know we get hot and heavy and she starts to do the grinding and i'm thinking myself oh my god the whole time she's probably thinking oh this is gonna go so great the whole time i'm thinking you know counting trying to count down going 199 and it probably got to maybe 91. And I kind of like, you know. So you got nine seconds in. Like push her aside and I stand up. And unfortunately, you know, fortunately she was looking away at the time. But I hosed down.

You know, I learned something new about you every day. Nothing like learning about you and your edging on the skinny confidential him and her show. But you do talk about a lot of taboo subjects that are very interesting. You make it, you break the walls down. Totally. I'm happy to talk about it. I hope at the end of this, though, we're going to figure out like, is there a cure? Like, should you find anything? Are we just sitting in there? I mean, I could have gone without the honey, you know, mustard dressing on my salad before this show. Like you could have warned me maybe. I need to now go back though. So wait. So anyways, you've messed up your pants, right? Yeah. The girl's sitting there ready to go. What do you tell her? Does she notice? I'm like, oh, like, hold on. Let me, I got to use the restroom. And the downside or the bad side is this, is I got it most on me.

And then I would say like maybe half or one third or one fourth of it went all over her carpet. She must've been so into you. So I go into the bathroom and I'm sitting there. It's one of these tiny bathrooms right next to her bedroom. And I'm sitting there going, I don't have to go to the bathroom. I've got, you know, you know, semen all over myself, humid, humid, ejaculate. So I'm sitting there going, Oh my God. So I I'm turning the water on. Cause I don't have to use the restroom. And it's one of those ones where you could hear the slightest tinkle. If you know, if I had to use the restroom So I'm sitting there going, oh my God. So I'm turning the water on because I don't have to use the restroom. And it's one of those ones where you could hear the slightest tinkle

if I had to use the restroom. So she's probably going, what is he doing in there? So I turned the water on. I feel like it's something out of, what is it movie? Something about Mary. And I'm trying to, I'm like looking frantically for some soap.

So I get the soap and I'm cleaning everything up. And then, okay, then I turn it down. I go, okay, like I'm thinking, oh my God. Now you, after post-coital, after technically what would be considered an orgasm, and then okay then I turn it down I go okay like I'm thinking oh my god now you after you know post-coital you know after after technically what would be considered an orgasm it's very difficult for a man to get erect again unless you're taking Viagra which I've tried and all that does is make everything blue and then you have a really hard dick that comes anyways oh my god just in case anyone's wondering you got all your answers so the downside to this is I had

to go back out there and I was pretending like, oh, like, yeah, like, don't worry. Like, let me, you know, let's resume this. And she's going, okay, wait a second. Why are you so, you know, undeveloped? Because it was, you know, it had went back into the turtle head. Okay. Which means non-erect penis.

I think we, I think everyone gets what it means. I feel like I've heard like my fair share of penis like i've heard enough okay i want to fast forward through all this because now i now i'm starting to be like i'm about to throw up everywhere it's the end of the story so i'm telling her and she goes oh what's going on and i go oh i'm just i'm i'm so nervous because i'm so into you that i i'm too nervous and i can't perform and she goes oh don't worry okay the whole time I was in the bathroom, I was wishing there was a back window I could have just climbed out of.

So did you guys go on another date or is that the end? No, actually we didn't. I wonder why. I can't believe it. I don't want, I don't need, I can't stand no man in man. I don't want no man in man. What a shocker. Whoa, you didn't?

Okay, so is there any like, okay, so back to the question. I guess the question was all about dating in 2017. Have you, have you, what are you going to do to fix this? There's got to be something you can do to fix this. Yeah, well, next time I'll release before. So, and then we'll see. But as of right now, to be continued on any of that. But yeah, I just, I feel I'm really, I'll loop it back into,

I really, I like to appeal to a I'll loop it back into, I really, I like to appeal to a girl's sense of the emotional side to her. Well, or romantic side. You're going to need to be extremely romantic, extremely to get over this. You got to be really romantic and really smart. Well,

you better be like, you better be, you're like, you better be like Romeo or Casanova. You got to, I don't know what you got. You got to start writing some sonnets, some poems. You got to write some songs. The cunnilingus comes in because then you just jump in right at the end of the race,

and then you just finish strong. You know what it reminds me of is the time we went on the hike. I didn't want to walk all the way down the hill, so I jumped on the little fucking golf cart that the, what is it? The Rangers drove by. And yes, I did actually get in the golf cart. I know you did. It's the, it's taken you a year and a half to admit that you didn't do the hike and you get on anyone in a golf cart. Okay. Moving on to the next question. They want to, now I'm going to, I'm really, I'm going to leave that in the dust. We're moving on and we're taking a turn here.

The next question for you, Taylor, is what are the pros and cons of working for your friends? That's actually an easy one, I believe. And there's nothing, it's not going to take a weird turn. The reason being is it's something that I've, for about five years, I've worked with Michael. But when Michael first hired me, it wasn't something that I wasn't I was expecting I was going to SDSU I graduated SDSU and I was planning on getting a job to for a marketing firm somewhere in San Diego so when Michael hired me I never had that expectations of okay I don't have to meet any sort of requirements for him and when he brought me on I was him and I always had this technically unspoken arrangement that I would do the best that I can to help him succeed. And he would do

the best as a, you know, when I'm working for him to succeed, because it's one of those things where I'm tied to him essentially as an anchor. And if one of us becomes that anchor, I'll drag him down and vice versa. So I would say that there's nothing really awkward about it because we've always had that unspoken arrangement. One thing I'll say about the relationship, and I've had other, I have Rocco and Dante who work for me as well. And they're two of my best friends since first grade and that's worked out. But we have had other friends work for us and it hasn't worked out. It's not because they're not good workers or it's not because they're not good employees or good people. It's that some friends find it difficult to separate when it's time to work on the business and when it's time to work

on the friendship. And I would say the reason that Taylor and I work so well together is that we can completely take our emotion out of it when it's time to do work for the business. And same with Lauren. I don't, some, some friends can't do that, but with us, like we know when it's time to work, it's time to work. And when it's time to be friends, it's time to be friends. I have a lot of people that have worked with me with the Skinny Confidential that I'm related to. I've had Michael's sister, Jordan,

who's now my sister, work for me. And it worked out really well. She worked for me for like a year and a half. And then she wanted to move on to do her own business, which is totally understandable, especially I'm an entrepreneur. I get it. You want to put your focus on your own shit. So she went to work on an SEO business and we still work together and it ended, you know, really well and amicable. My sister Mimi, Mimi is like my right hand man, works for us all the time, 24 seven. She's amazing.

She helps with everything from the dogs to helping me pack to running around, to doing emails, to, you know, um, newsletters, kind of everything. And it's worked out really well. And I feel like Mimi and I have grown together. We actually started out working together in my one bedroom apartment on the floor. She started doing Pinterest and helping me kind of categorize everything and organize it. And from there, we slowly grew together. I think it's really helpful when you slowly grow together. I think that's how it's been with Rocco and Dante and Taylor and you as well. It's like you grow together instead of apart. So I would definitely recommend if you have someone working for you that's a relative or a sister,

that you just need to really have a conversation and get real with it and understand that you guys are growing together and not separately. So you want to do everything you can to support each other. I think that's a really good way to explain it. And I kind of want to envelope and answer this question from both sides. But before I jump in, I kind of want to have Taylor, I want you to kind of give perspective to somebody who may be working for a family member or a friend going into their business. What advice would you give to somebody? I would say the one thing. So when you work for a standard company that you don't know, you know, the CEO or the owners and you work, you know, have a manager, if a manager comes to tell you to do something, you would never question it at all. And you can't. Even if you did, the manager would say, who the hell, you know, what the hell are you saying?

Shut up and get to work. But when I work with Michael, and or you work with a family member, or even a friend, it's weird, because you have that almost if they say if they make a decision, or they tell you to do something, and you're not because you don't want to do it. This is that's not where I'm going with this at all. But for instance, say they're unaware of something, or maybe you think you need to voice a concern to them that maybe they're not making the right decision or potentially could be, you know, leading the company down the path that would, you know, ultimately harm things. You have to make sure you have to, cause you know, you don't want to be ignorant or march blindly

because you could end up hurting your family's business or your friend's business. So you really have to kind of choose when to be the friend, when, when to kind of combine the friend and work role to go to him and say, hey, listen, I know I work with you. And of course, I respect all the decisions, but I want to let you know that maybe we should maybe alter course or do this or change something. What I would say Taylor does for me that I think is tremendously valuable, which is why I think we've worked together for so long, is I've told him for years, I said, listen, if you see me going down a path or you see a decision that I'm making and you see a better way to do it, or you see another way to do it, or you think

it's a mistake, voice it. If at that point, I still say, hey, let's still continue with the path I chose, then he'll do it. But at the same time, there's a lot of times when Taylor stepped in, I'm like, oh, you know what? You're right. That's a better way to do it. And I'm fully open to that. I think there has to be the relationship both on the employer and the employee side though, where you feel comfortable saying like, listen, this is the best for the business. And if you can separate what's the best for the individual, whether it's the employers thinking for themselves or the employee thinking for themselves, and you put the business first, I think at that point you can work collaboratively with people and get the best results for the business. And by the way, Michael and I work together and we're a couple and that

definitely comes with its own set of issues. I feel like that's a whole podcast episode in itself. I mean, it's very hard to work with your significant other. I don't care what way you spin it. It's hard to shut it off. It's hard to go in the bedroom and be like, you know, I'm still on my computer. Maybe he's, he's doing something else and you're talking about business and it's like, wait a minute, we're in the bedroom. This is supposed to be about romance. So I definitely think that it is a fine line and you really have to have an open, you know, communication line. Okay. Let's switch it up here. Farrah asks, my boyfriend is a taker in the bedroom. How can I make him be more of a giver?

Michael, why did you look at Taylor for that? Well, I think we, he just, I mean, he sounds like he's the biggest giver in the world. you a giver though i'm a huge giver i i'm a giver is not just like doing oral on a girl that's just not the only way to give there's other ways to give besides that you know that right well how i mean i feel like you don't know that i mean like what is what else would he i mean obviously giving they're not attributing this to standard intercourse, meaning like, you know, standard penetration, because that would be beneficial to both people. So maybe he's going. So what she's giving him oral nonstop and then he's going to like, thank you. She never said oral. She said my boyfriend is a taker. A taker. That could mean a lot of different things. It doesn't. Your mind goes straight to oral. What is he taking from her her soul i thought you said you were a romantic no i am but that's why okay so if

if i if some girl said hey you're just a taker i mean what is he i mean yeah we're cavemen so he's like bonking her over the head throwing over the throwing her onto the bed and just you know taking what he wants then her waking up later and going like oh you just described rape that's not what i meant. That's by no means that I mean in that sense. I'm talking about, you know, it's either, it's either,

or not consensual. That's again, sounds like rape because that's not where we're going with this in any way. But I think- Can you move your face closer to the mic? I think in order to be a real giver, you have to find out what the person really likes.

And the reason I'm very good at, you know, what would be considered the cunnilingus. What is cunnilingus? I don't want you to say that word one more time on this show. I don't know what that means. I don't think that word's ever been used more in less than an hour in my life. Cunnilingus isn't, I thought that's the term for when a guy goes down on a girl.

Let's just call it going downtown. Going downtown. So let's just, I think that some girls are different, you know, depending on the girl. I mean, I know girls that some really, really some girls are different you know depending on on the girl i mean i know girls that some really really get off from you know you know what would be considered clitoral stimulation some aren't some like you know i'm just gonna go ahead and say i feel like the whole sex conversation maybe you're like not the best person in the world to give advice well like i said remember i've never had a friend say you're great at giving advice i well in that in that

friend was right so your friend was right they always go okay like what are you gonna say next Well, like I said, remember, I've never had a friend say you're great at giving advice. Well, in that respect. Your friend was right. Your friend was right. They always go, okay, like, what are you going to say next? So that's where, that's, you know, surprise. My advice here would be maybe a little bit more PG than yours. And it would be that if someone was a taker in the bedroom, I would ask them to give me a massage first.

I would make them give first. I would flip it on them. I would also question and say, listen, if this person's just taking from me all the time, he's probably doing it in other ways. I've never had a girl reference me as a taker. You just take and take and take. I feel like girls have referenced you as other things than a taker or a giver.

Too bad I'm not like a superhero. I could have been like the ejaculator and I would like, you know, start to go save someone and then go, I'm already finished. I'm out of here. Wouldn't work. So technically, yeah, that's why I've become so good at like, you know, pleasing women. It's like you give them a foot massage, foot massage. Women like foot massage. That's probably the smartest thing you've said the whole podcast. Women do like foot massages. I like hint, hint, Michael. Back rubs. Oh my God. You know, you do, you light one of those candles or a couple of candles, the scented ones, vanilla, maybe some

cinnamon or some potpourri. I don't like a potpourri candle when I'm having sex. I don't really think there's a lot of girls that like a potpourri candle. Or is that the smell of like pine? Well, I thought you were going to be able to come on here today and really give some good dating advice and help some people out. Wrong again. After getting only two matches and telling your story of your preemie days, I don't think you're going to be the person. We might have to get an expert on the show. I think we should get a sex expert. I think we will. I think that'd be a good topic.

I think I'd like to talk to a real expert. What would you tell Farrah? If someone's just, I mean, I wouldn't stand for it. If someone's just a taker the whole time, I'd be out of there. I mean, but that's me. My advice is a little bit harsh. I mean, I'd say, listen, buddy, it's time now. I got to go.

I got to go find somebody else. Really? Yeah. I mean, I'd say, listen, you got a trial period about a month. And if it ain't working, I'm leaving. Would you call me a giver or a taker? I'd say you're a giver. Oh, thanks, honey.

I once went down on a girl for like 45 minutes. That would be considered to take her i bet you she fell asleep no she was not asleep trust me she was writhing in joy oh my christ okay this is my final question for you taylor it's been asked multiple times and i actually i don't i want to know this for my own curiosity. What would you be doing if you weren't working for us? Okay, so this is going to be a little weird, actually. Okay, so there's three things. One, I always have always, always, always wanted to be an FBI agent.

Okay. I feel like I don't think that's the right career for you. I don't know if they'll accept you. You might go off and fire your gun a little too early. No, it's because I'm good at analytical stuff and deep thinking. So I wanted to be a detective to solve crimes. So, not a detective, but I wanted to be an investigator. The second one would be a comedian because I like to make people laugh.

Or just enjoy. They could laugh if they don't care. Hey, I'm interrupting you here because weston told me the other day and this i find out things through the grapevine through weston because you guys work together a lot taylor is going to start doing some open mic sessions and he didn't tell us about it i don't know why but he told wait wait wait wait what do you mean why don't i know about that's what i'm writing down in this in this book he's writing his jokes down. Material. So you're going to stand up in front of an audience and do jokes? Yes.

Okay. If your career takes off, can I be your manager? I'm doing a skinny confidential meetup probably in the next two months. He could be the opener. Okay. Can you open it? I would do it. I'm not saying it's going to go well, but at least I feel like when I write something down, I'm laughing or I'm like in the gym and I'm laughing. I wake, I'm like sleeping. I go, that's funny. I write it down.

So I just started doing this probably three days ago. So to be continued. Okay. What's the third thing? The third one, believe it or not, is a hitman, a contract killer. I know that you can't really go into that field, but as a young kid, I did karate, as some of you might know from my Instagram, because I posted a picture of myself in my gi, which is my uniform with my orange belt.

But I remember they went around and they said, you know, what do you want to be when you grow up? And I actually wrote down hitman and they thought it was very fucking weird. It is very fucking weird to be a kid and want to kill people, but go on. Yeah, but they're bad guys, or at least you think they're bad guys. What if I gave you a contract to go and kill someone that wasn't necessarily a bad guy but was like kind of impeding us in some way or something would you do it could you do could you kill an innocent is what i'm saying well i mean technically i'm not in the field at the moment so i would have to i'd have to be i'd have to be, I'd have to, you know, build up some experience. Could you take all emotion out of it? I don't think so.

That's a good question. And you might fire your gun again too early. So another thing where you might go off too early. Good thing you're in this career, Taylor. Good thing. Yeah. So somewhere in between there, I landed in here, which is like, it's like a good medium, but I could be like, maybe like a comedian hitman FBI agent.

Well, your contract is up for review in the next month and we might have to revisit a few things. There's a lot that's come to light that I'm not so sure about anymore. Guys, I hope you enjoyed that episode with Taylor. That was an interesting one. Hope you turned it down at some certain parts. Actually, I hope you turned it down the whole episode

if you had kids in the car. Taylor, thank you for being here. Thank you for telling us your bizarre stories. They're not bizarre. They're very personal. And I like to look at it this way. If my weaknesses ever make anybody laugh, that's all I really care about.

And you can find me on Twitter or Instagram at TalesYouDie. And you can look for his new comedy tour. He's going on tour. And the tour is called the Too Early Tour. And Annabelle, don't be sad that, you know, you guys aren't dating because you really, you missed a good one. Yeah. I mean, now she doesn't have to worry about getting her carpet cleaned.

You know what she's going to say? She's going to listen to this and go, thank God. Like I said, you know, that's what every other girl says after is like, oh my God. Yeah. She's probably grinning from ear to ear right now. Well, Taylor, you're endearing. I don't know what this is going to do for your dating career. It's probably not going to help too much, but...

Maybe remove the skinny confidential pop socket. You know what? I guarantee it's probably going to do better. That's your move. You go early and then right after you say, do you know Lauren of the skinny confidential? All right, you guys. Thank you for listening.

Please subscribe and rate the skinny confidential, him and her show on iTunes. Please subscribe and rate The Skinny Confidential, him and her show on iTunes. If you do rate and review it, please screenshot it and send it to asklauren at theskinnyconfidential.com and we will send you my five top beauty secrets straight to your inbox. We will see you next week

with a little bit more of a PG valuable episode. Thanks for listening.