The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - #77: Tony Robbins, An Extraordinary Quality Of Life

Episode Date: August 29, 2017

On this episode we change gears and bring you the one and only Tony Robbins (@tonyrobbins). Lauryn and I attended Tony's Unleash The Power Within event earlier this year and had a ton of fun. We also learned a lot and thought it would be great if we could bring some of that value to the podcast. After discussions with Tony's team they agreed to release some of the information from the event.  This Information Covers: -Extraordinary Quality of Life – 1st Master Skill  – Science of Achievement -Extraordinary Quality of Life – 2nd Master Skill – Art of Fulfillment -Resources vs. Resourcefulness – Tony’s TED story --- To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn’s latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you’ll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

The following podcast is a Bostick Media Production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostick are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to The Skinny Confidential, him and her.

Aha! Aha! Hey guys, welcome back to the Skinny Confidential, him and her show. You have me, Lauren Everett. And Michael Bostic. Oh my god. We have something kind of different for you today. Definitely different for us.

Releasing a little bit of control. A little nervous. You are. We are. Well, as some of you guys know, a couple weeks back, we went to Tony Robbins Unleash the Power Within event. And I walked on coals and conquered the flames. You loved walking on coals. No, I was actually...

No. I didn't believe the flames were real. I thought that... I was like, oh, there's no way this guy is actually going to make people walk on but they were but they were so then you know i didn't get i didn't get my prime state and i got on the coals next thing i knew i was burning yeah i had to hear about it for like three years but i've recovered i made a full recovery i know you guys were concerned no one was back in action thank god and yes we had a lot of fun at the event uncle tony was on fire he was screaming he was yelling

he's getting everybody pumped up uncle tony i'd like to call him uncle tony sometimes he's such a big guy all right big teddy bear but like i said i i've never seen a guy with that much energy i feel like he's drinking like wolf's blood or injecting like nitrogen oxide into his well not nitrogen oxide but what was i looking for what's the word I'm looking for? A wolf's blood. No, no. Rocket fuel. Okay. Rocket fuel into his bloodstream. Because I've never seen a guy go this long. I swear to God, I don't think the guy took a bathroom break in 12 hours. Did you check? I was kind of paying attention because I would go to the bathroom and I was like, man, when's this guy going to go? And I could still hear him talking when I was going myself. I'm like, man. You you were going i feel like you went and got a hot dog and like chicken fingers

yeah i was doing that too but anyways so he was he was going he's got a lot of energy you might have missed him if you guys are interested episode 72 we recap the entire event and talk all about our experiences so today we're not going to bore you again with the with that since we've done it before today we're doing something a little bit different. Like Lauren said, we're releasing a little bit of control today. And we thought to ourselves, okay, we got a lot of value from the event, learned a lot of different things, looked at a lot of different perspectives. And how can we share this information now with our audience?

What's the best way to showcase what we learned about, what we heard about at the Unleash the Power Within event? And so we got with Tony's team and they were nice enough to actually provide us some clips from the event for free. Shout out to Anna and Taylor. Yeah. Thank you, Anna. And thank you, Taylor. It was rad because, you know, as some of you guys know, these events cost money and a lot of times, you know, you have to you guys know, these events cost money and a lot of times, you know, you have to go and travel to get to them. So a lot of this information is not open to the general public. So it was really nice of them to give us these clips so that we can share them with you guys and hopefully you get some value. It's all about living extraordinary lives,

the extraordinary quality of life, master skills, first being the Science of Achievement, and the second being the Art of Fulfillment. So when you hear these clips, you're going to hear Tony talking all about both of those subjects. And then at the end, he does a piece on resources versus resourcefulness, which is actually my favorite part of the entire thing. And I just think that all this information is really interesting. It's valuable. It's a different perspective to look at. If you're feeling

like you need some motivation, this will be a nice episode for you. If you want to get fired up, if you want to kind of get a different perspective and get a reset, this is going to be good for that, I think. Yeah, you can kind of learn what we learned at the Tony Robbins conference. It's kind of like you're there and definitely follow Tony on Instagram at Tony Robbins. And I feel like one of his favorite or one of my favorite books that he's written is called Awaken the Giant. How'd you know? Are you looking at me with a blank stare? You had a, you had a, no, that's one of my favorites. I feel like I'm reading that right now. A lot of you guys have asked me on Instagram what the book I'm reading is. I've actually snapped a bunch of pictures of

pages and I think it's a great book to start with. Yeah. If you're going to start reading your stuff, that's it. I think that's a good place to start. But you know, for me, I think it's just interesting to always kind of gather different people's perspectives. That's why I try to read as many authors as I can and listen to as many different people as I can, but while also not hanging too deeply on each speaker or author's information, I think it's good to be, you know, basically like a collector of information. You kind of collect his perspective from here, there. Maybe sometimes you listen to Tony, maybe sometimes you listen to somebody else, but I think it's just, it's interesting to be aware of these different perspectives and these opinions and then form around your own life.

So with that, here comes Uncle Tony. I do have to call him Uncle Tony. Yes. Really? One day I'm actually, I think I want to get him on this show. We're going to get him on the show. And I want him to break down your psych. You can't call him Uncle Tony though.

I will on the show. No, we're going to have him break down your psych, but that's okay. He's going to get him on the show And I want him to break down your psych You can't call him Uncle Tony though I will on the show No we're going to have him break down your psych But that's okay He's going to break you down Alright we'll see Enjoy This is the Skinny Confidential Him and Her

Let's look at two master skills Write down in your notes right now To create an extraordinary life Which means what? Life on your terms The the way you want it. In order to do that, two skills you've got to master. Skill number one, you must master the science of achievement. The science of achievement.

It is a science. It's not random. People who succeed at the highest scale have figured out what the triggers are that make them successful, and they just keep doing them. It's what makes them effective, what they do. So, for example, I told you I interviewed these 50 of the greatest financial minds on earth. They were all radically different people. They have different ways of investing.

But what I found, what were the elements in common? And over those five years, the elements I learned from them, I applied, and I took my companies from $100 million, to now we're doing $5 billion in sales. I have 31 companies. All that has exploded in the last five or six years. And it's all because, not because I'm so smart, because I learned from the best. I figured exactly what they did and I did the same thing. It literally is that simple. But most of us don't learn from the best. We learn from the people around us. And there's nothing wrong. That was a bad laugh.

Nothing wrong with the people around us, but the people around us aren't all masters of all areas of their life. And because someone's really good at finance doesn't mean they're really good at being happy or good with their kids. So you don't go to one person for everything, at least I don't, and I don't make everybody have to be perfect because they're not, nor am I. But I look for what skills I want from the best in the world in that area. Cherry pick. Here's somebody with the greatest relationships. Here's somebody with the greatest economics. There's a science. So there's a science to achievement. Your body, just like finances,

is a science, meaning everyone is biochemically unique in this world, but there's certain fundamental laws of the body that if you violate them, you're going to have dis-ease. You're going to have low energy. You're going to break down. If you align with them, you're going to have an abundance of energy and vitality which will change your life. How many followers? Say aye. So instead of, I don't need to teach you how to achieve. Everyone in this room is an achiever. What maybe I need to do is remind you of how you did it. So I'd like you just for a moment to think of a dream or a goal or desire you once had that at the time may have seemed difficult or even impossible. But today, it's in your life. What was once impossible? What seemed ridiculous? Seemed like a huge goal at some stage of your life, but you look at it now and go,

that's it. That's in my life. That's it forever. How many can relate to something like this? Raise your hand. And by the way, it could be something simple. It could be a job you wanted. It could have been a relationship you wanted to create. It could have been, you know, a car. Some people, a car can be a symbol at some stage of your life when you're young for the next level kind of thing. Who had a car you wanted, for example, at one time? Let me see your heads. So what was that thing you wanted? And then here's my question.

How did you go from it's impossible or unbelievably difficult and unlikely to having it in your life? What were the steps you took? What was the first thing you did that took this thing you were dreaming about that seemed impossible and started to move you towards it? Do you know? Yell out loud, what'd you do? I hear a lot of answers. I don't think any of them I've heard are wrong,

but I think they all relate to one thing. The first thing that moves us forward is we become obsessed about it. And what I mean by obsessed is we start focusing and thinking about it all the time and feeling for it all the time. Who can remember starting to get obsessed, starting to like think about it all the time where you had to have it and your desire, your hunger grew? How many can remind yourself of this? Say I. By the way, if you ask me, Tony, you've been around the world, 100 countries, four decades. I work with some of the most successful people on the face of the earth.

I work with some of the most challenged people on earth. I've dealt with people who have 42 personalities splitting in the middle of my seminar while ABC News was covering my seminar. And I put this woman together who was institutionalized for 20 years. They followed up for a year, and she never broke again. I've dealt with people with no personality who have a much bigger problem than she does. I've dealt with kids addicted to cocaine in the South Bronx and I've dealt with the top CEOs in Hollywood addicted to cocaine. They give you different reasons. So I'm here to tell you the patterns that human beings have are really truly not that different.

But if you and I are going to master what we wanted of our life, if we're going to shift it to a different level, we've got to kind of wake up to see what's really controlling all this. And what's really controlling all this to really start with is getting that obsession, getting that focus. Wherever focus goes, energy what? Where focus goes, energy flows. So if you get obsessed and you keep thinking about it,

if you've got something you can't stop thinking about, that's going to unleash you. Now, when you unleash you with that, you've got energy. By the way, people ask me all the time, Tony, you meet so many people around the earth. You work with some of the smartest people in business and finance and government, politics, everything. What's the common denominator of the most successful people literally on earth? I can give it to you in one word, hunger. Hunger. Lose your hunger, you'll lose your power. Hunger mean the hunger, the drive,

the hunger to be more, to do more, to give more, to share more, to care more. If you can develop that hunger or if you can awaken it, which anyone can, if you can unleash it, there is unbelievable power. But most people get hungry for a goal and they achieve it and they lose their hunger. Who's ever done this? Got for the goal, achieved the goal, and then lost momentum kind of. How many have done this before? The reason for that is the purpose of a goal is not to get it. The purpose of a goal is what it makes of you to pursue it.

If what you get will never make you happy, who you become will make you very happy or very sad. So in order for us to become more, in order for us to grow more, in order for us to experience more, we got to be in a position where this process of growth is constant. In order to do that, we got to get really obsessed. Now, if you get totally obsessed and focused, you got all this energy, what's it going to push you to do? It'll push you to go to the second step to master anything, which is you must take massive what? Write down massive action is the cure-all. Massive action is the cure-all. If you don't know what to do, people, I don't know where to start. Throw a rock in the air, wherever it drops, start there. Somebody walks by, you're the first person off the rock. I got to talk to you. If you can just create momentum with massive action, you can cure just about

anything. In fact, massive action is how most of us have learned in the past, right? Think about this. If you try something, you want something badly enough, you're obsessed by it, and you take massive action, and the approach you take doesn't work, what should you do? Change. Try something else. And if that doesn't work, what should you do? Change again. What if that doesn't work, what should you do? Come on, guys. What if that doesn't work, what should you do up there at the top? How about you people at the top? If that doesn't work, what should you do?

How many times do you change? Till you got what you want. Listen to me. How long would you give your average child to learn how to walk? You know, before you shut them off and just say, dude, you're never going to be a walker, just give it up. You go, what are you, crazy? My kid's going to keep trying until here she walks.

No wonder almost everybody walks. Magic formula. So besides massive action, though, step two, once you've got that focus and energy, it's massive action and effective execution. What that means is if it's not working, you got to keep changing to figure out what will work. And if you keep changing, will you find a way? Yes or no? Now you can speed that up through modeling. Modeling again, remember, means success leaves clues. If someone is successful year after year, decade after decade, they're not lucky.

They're doing something different than you are in their head, in their body, in their voice, in their actions. And if you model, it might have taken them 20 years to figure it out, but now you can learn it in a day, in a week, in a month, in a couple hours, and compress decades into days. That is my life's work. That's how we're going to speed it up. I'm going to, this weekend, give you what took me 20 years to learn, so you can do it in a weekend and not just learn it, but embed it in our bodies. Who's up for it here? Say I. So we really want effective execution and strategies like that can help us. And then if you do these two things around anything, if all you do is you're obsessed, you dream about it, you're excited about it, you're moved by it, you can't let it go,

and you take massive action and you study who's successful and you're excited about it, you're moved by it, you can't let it go, and you take massive action, and you study who's successful, and you do what they did, you only need one other element to truly achieve anything, and that is grace. Grace. Some will call it God. Some will call it luck. I think it's grace. And here's what I can tell you about grace. The more you acknowledge grace in your life, the more you appreciate acknowledge grace in your life, the more you appreciate the grace in your life, the more grace tends to show up. How many found this to be true in your own life? How many of you in this room have had moments in your life where you felt almost guided? Like you were trying to do something, it wasn't working, and then something happened, life happened for you. Something guided you or you felt blessed.

Who's ever had some experience like this? Say I. That's the grace. So if you're obsessed and the energy's strong, you take massive action, you model what works, and you got grace, game over. It might take a little longer than you think. Most people overestimate what they can do in a year.

I used to do that all the time. But they underestimate what they can do in a year. I used to do that all the time. But they underestimate what they can do in a decade or two. And by the way, 10 years from now, you will surely arrive. The question is where, right? Who are you going to be? What are you going to do? And by the way, how fast will these next 10 years go by, my friends? How many have found as the years go by, time for you seems to speed up?

How many have seen this? And it keeps on happening as life goes by. It's kind of like turning one of those things over the sands of time. And, you know, as it's starting to run out, it looks like it's going faster. It isn't going faster. It's just your sense of scarcity. So if you and I are going to master our life, this is the first step. Science of achievement.

You're all good at it. We'll learn more strategies over the weekend. But I just want to plant the seed. It's really not complex. And you've done it. Who's done this multiple times? Taking dreams, turning them into reality. Say I. Awesome. Now, there is one second skill that's even more important, and when I tell you what it is, many of you go, how basic, but I believe that the culture has taught you not to

value this, and I'm telling you traveling to 100 countries and having lived 57 years, some of the most successful people on earth and the most challenged, the second skill you've got to master is the art of fulfillment. The art of fulfillment. Notice I didn't say the science of fulfillment. The art of the fulfillment because what will fulfill you, Edgar, is radically different than George, even if you're best friends. What's going to fulfill Susan and Mary and Charles than George, even if you're best friends. What's going to fulfill Susan and Mary and Charles? Totally different, even if they're all dear friends

or family members. We have a unique way to be fulfilled. If you want to know what God appreciates, look around this room and look at the diversity in this crazy room. Go to the forest. What do you see in the forest? Is everything the same? It's all what? It's different. That's the beauty of it. It's finding the different things that will light you up, that will make your life work. Because if you succeed and you're not fulfilled, you really have nothing. And so the goal is figure out what is going to really light you up. Because when you're lit up, how do you treat other people, better or worse? How do you treat your family, better or worse?

How do you perform, better or worse? So we really, fulfillment we treat as an afterthought in this country because of our culture, but it's not an afterthought. It really is the basis of everything. Now, what's going to fulfill you is different. I'll give you a fun, simple example. A friend of mine is a guy you may know of, and his name is Steve Wynn. He built most of Las Vegas. And he's just a genius, multi-billionaire. Built most of what's happened in China as well. And Steve, I met him one time. I called me one time, I should say. We've been friends for about 16, 17 years. He calls me up and he says, Tony, where are you in the world?

I said, I'm at my home in Sun Valley, Idaho. We both have ski homes in Sun Valley, Idaho. And he goes, Tony, I'm in Sun Valley and it's my birthday. I said, I know it's your birthday. I was going to call you later, but I can't believe you're here. He said, Tony, you got to come over. I said, I'd love to come over. He goes, no, no, it's not just my birthday. He said, there is a painting that I have coveted for almost three decades. I have tried to buy this. I've never been able to buy it, and it finally came up for sale, and I outbid everyone at Sotheby's for this painting. And I have it here in my house in some value. You must see it.

He said I paid $86 million for this painting. $86 million. So I want you to picture what you think an $86 million picture painting would look like. For me, I'm picturing some Renaissance painting, Mona Lisa. You know, there's something like this nature. I get to Steve's house. He's so excited. He goes, come here, check it out.

I walk in his living room, and this is what's on the wall. 86.9 million, and I looked at him. I said, Steve, he missed the spot. There's a bunch of empty space in the middle there. And then I said, dude, it's a red and orange square. I said, listen, give me 100 bucks and 20 minutes, I can duplicate this shit. He was not entertained by that description. Right?

And he goes, no, you don't understand. This is a Rothko. And he goes on to tell me the story of the guy's life, and he committed suicide. I said, well, that better be his blood for $86.9 million. Here's why I'm showing you this. He sits at this and looks at this and goes into ecstasy. I look at it and go, a red-orange blob. You missed the spotter, too.

I'm not making fun of him. He's more sophisticated than I am because he actually finds ecstasy in that. I don't. He's found more ways. He knows every brush stroke and what it means and where it that? I don't. He's found more ways. He knows every brushstroke and what it means and where it goes. I don't. So one guy's ecstasy is somebody else's blob of orange square. So we got to know what it is for us. Now, fundamentally though, you can't just know what it is you want. You also have to deal with something else. And that is, remember the things, how many

of those things that you wrote down earlier that you said, you also have to deal with something else. And that is, remember the things, how many of those things that you wrote down earlier that you said, you know, something you wrote down or thought of, I should say, when I said, think of something that was once impossible, it's now in your life? Now it's in your life, and do you fully appreciate it? Or do you take it just a little bit for granted? Jot down a phrase. It's called the law of familiarity.

The law of familiarity. This is one of the things that destroys fulfillment. The law of familiarity says this. If you get around anything enough, you tend to take it just a little bit for granted. If you get around anything enough, you tend to take it just a little bit for granted. So I'll give you an example. Let's use the car example because it's, you know to take it just a little bit for granted. So I'll give you an example. Let's use the car example because it's, you know, not emotional. How many of you can remember or had

a desire for a particular car maybe early in your life? Because it wasn't the car, it was a symbol for you of breaking through, of going to another level. Who can relate to this? I'm curious as an example. Okay. Or it could be the relationship or it could be the job. We'll use the car for simplicity's sake. I want you to imagine the car if you ever had it. Can you imagine that? Imagine that new car smell. Who can remember that? I'm curious.

Right? And you're in the car, and if it's brand new and you got in the car, what did you do with it? Did you drive it by a bank, plate glass window, check out yourself out in the mirror? Yeah, some of you giggling. I know your number, right? Got yours, Marvin. So that car was amazing. You were so excited about it.

It was so amazing. And then one day he came out of a business meeting. He'd only owned the car for two weeks, three weeks. You love the car. It's a symbol of what you've achieved and accomplished. You're excited to get in your car and drive off. And as you approach the car coming out of the meeting or the movie theater or the shopping mall or whatever it is, you notice that there's a what?

Come on, what is it? Make the sound of what you feel in your body. When you see that first scratch three weeks in, make the sound. Go. Do it again. And you're like, are you kidding me? My brand new car, two weeks old, and they didn't even know what kind of human does this shit. Who can remember an experience like this? But you have to get back into your life.

You got to go do shit. Make things happen. So what do you do? You try to block it in your mind out of your head. You walk around on the other side of the car to not see it. Right? You get in the car. You go. You tell yourself, I the car to not see it. Right? You get in the car, you go, you tell yourself, I'm going to handle this later,

it's not a problem. And about two weeks later, you come out of another meeting or the shopping mall or store and you walk up towards your car and what do you find? There's another what? Make the sound of the second scratch. Go.

You can't believe it. Another scratch. What's wrong with these people? But you got to go on. You let go. Three weeks later, come out of another meeting and you walk out and you find there's a dent. Make the sound of the dent, ladies and gentlemen. And by the eighth week, it's just a fucking car.

Who knows what I'm talking about here? You know the only problem? I was talking about your relationship, and you thought I was talking about a car. Ooh. problem I was talking about your relationship and you thought I was talking about a car. Who's ever felt like someone got so familiar that didn't fully appreciate you or otherwise, not intentionally, just because they got so busy, their mind got engaged? Raise your hand if you can relate to this in some place. So if we're going to be fulfilled, we got to make a decision to live a different life. If you don't decide to be alive, to feel excited, to feel love, joy, happiness, if you don't step in and really experience that completely,

it's not just going to show up. So let me give you an example that I think will clarify this for you. About two and a half years ago, we lost what I would consider to be a national treasure in this country. His name was Robin Williams. How many of you in this room, don't raise, yeah, go ahead, give him a hand, please. I'm totally for that. How many of you, I want you to raise your hands, and please don't raise your hand unless,

don't raise your hand if you liked Robin Williams. Raise your hand if you really loved this guy. Raise your hand if you loved him. Keep your head up nice and high, and please look around the room and look at the percentage of people that love this man. It's about 98, 99% of the room. Only 1% of assholes in this room that didn't like Robin Williams. Now, I've been asking this question all over the world for the last year.

I've asked it in Sydney, Australia, in Beijing, in Tokyo, down in Brazil, throughout the United States, in Toronto, Canada, everywhere I go for the last year, I've asked this question. Everywhere in the world I've gone,

without exaggeration, China, doesn't matter where it was, about 98, 99% of people say, and I clarify, don't raise your hand if you love him. Now, here's the question. Hundreds of millions of people love this man. First of all, was he an overachiever? Was he a master of the science of achievement? Yes or no?

Yes or no? He said he's going to come here to LA, he's going to come to Hollywood, and he's going to become a movie become a TV star. That was the goal. Now, who says that shit? Everybody comes to Hollywood. And what percentage actually make it? .00001 or whatever the real number is.

A ridiculously small number, right? Then he said, I'm not just going to get, I'm not just going to become a star. I'm going to have my own TV show. I'm going to start out with my own TV show. Absurd. Now, some of you are ancient enough to remember he then decided, I'm going to make it the number one show. And he did.

And some of you are actually ancient enough that you could tell me the name of the show. What was it called? Mark and Mindy. Yes, a lot of ancient people here. By the way, when he was done with that, guess what he said? I want to have the most magnificent family I love and loves me. Did that. Achieved that.

Then he said, I want to make more money than I could ever spend in my lifetime. And he did that. Then he said, screw TV. I want to make movies. And he did that. Then he said, screw movies. I want to win movies. And he did that. Then he said, screw movies, I want to win Academy Award for not being funny, his number one skill.

And did he do it? He got Academy Award for dramatic actor, no humor. How crazy is that? And then he hung himself in his own home with his family present. How would you explain that?

Because he made everyone happy except home. Listen to me right now. Remember this as long as you live. Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. If you make everybody happy but yourself, what do you get? Nothing. And everything was a waste.

This man is gone, and he's loved by hundreds of millions of people on earth. Not many humans have accomplished that in a lifetime. And they're all, those people feel the loss, but more importantly, how about his family? His kids, his wife? It's destructive. And they've got to try and make sense of it. His wife tries to explain it by saying,

well, he was starting to get dementia. Louie bodies, they're called. But unfortunately, what she has to leave out is before she ever showed up, it has nothing to do with her. This man suffered his whole life. That's why he used drugs and alcohol his whole life, which will pickle your brain. So what's the real source? Suffering. Achievement will never eliminate suffering.

Only you can do that. And we've all heard the phrase, pain is part of life, but suffering is an option. But most of us don't really get what that means. It may be the most important lesson of all. So before we go any further, let's really be clear. If you want to be fulfilled, the first thing you got to understand is it's not a science because everyone's different, but there are some principles that are universal. So let's touch those first and then let's see how we can solve this. The first principle for fulfillment is really simple. I mentioned

earlier, you got to grow. We grow or we what? If your business is not growing, what is it really doing? If your relationship is not growing, then what is it really doing? It really is. There's no plateaus. There's no in between. We grow or we die. In fact, if you ask me, Tony, you've been around the earth, 100 countries, God only knows how many times, tens of millions of people you dealt with directly.

Tell me, what does it take to have an incredibly happy life? I can give it to you in one word right now. Progress. Write down progress equals happiness. Progress equals happiness. If you can make progress, you're going to feel alive. Listen, let's assume you're overweight, or your finances are a mess, or your kid's messed up, or your relationship's not where you want it to be. If you just take action to start to improve this, if you take action just to start to make these improvements, you're going to feel alive. You're going to feel excited. You're going to feel that sense of progress. Now, if you haven't even lost the weight yet, but you're still making progress, or lost a few pounds, or you're working out every day, you're going to feel good.

If you're in a situation where your business is not going well, and you step in and start to dig underneath, you're going to start to feel good, even though you're not there yet, just because of the progress. Write down, progress is everything. If we're not progressing, we don't feel good inside. Doesn't matter how many other people pat you on the back. It doesn't matter how many awards you got. It doesn't matter what those things are. There's always another level, and the purpose of life is that growth. Why do we grow? I believe we grow so we have something to give.

Remember we said earlier, what's the first thing you do when you find yourself in a position where you are in a place where you find yourself, let's say, excited about something, you love something, what's the first thing you do? You want to share it. Why? Because all of us in this room can be selfish in the moment. Who's ever been selfish in the moment? Say I.

But if you want to know what it means to be human, watch human beings when they're in their true nature. They always get excited and want to share. They want a gift. It's who we are. It's why we have a culture, a society. It's why we work gift. It's who we are. It's why we have a culture, a society. It's why we work together. It's our competitive advantage. It's called love.

So the bottom line is, if you grow, you're going to have something to give. And if you have something to give, you're going to feel more alive. There's only so much energy you can feel from doing something by yourself, whether it's eating great food, having great music, you know, anything. But when you involve someone else, it magnifies it. So that's the goal, and that's where we really want to go. No one wants to talk about failure. Who here has ever failed miserably at doing something that you,

accomplishing something that was really important to you? Who's failed to achieve one of your major goals here? Say I. If you don't raise your hand, you lie about other shit too, don't you? All right, we've all done it. Now, the first time I ever asked this question, I was at this group called TED. How many have heard of TED at this point? In the old days, no one heard of TED.

There was no website. It was just a once-a-year conference for about 300 people in Northern California, but it was a who's who. I got invited. I think it was 2006 or 2005, whatever it was, and I came to speak, and Steve Jobs was there, the founders of Google were there. I mean, it was the group you could imagine.

And they brought everybody in, and then they told me once I got there, you have 18 minutes. I said, what? They said, yeah, everyone got 18 minutes. The president got 18 minutes. 18 minutes, we cut you off, you're off the stage. Now, my shortest seminar is like 50 hours. And that's not because I like to talk.

It's because we're going to go deep here. We're going to actually build the muscle through repetition in our bodies and our emotions. So it's not just a thought but a habit for you when you leave here. So you don't have to work on it so much as it will start to happen for you automatically. And so it takes time to do that. 18 minutes. I'm trying to figure out what to do. And then he says, don't get people jumping and shit. I've heard about you jumping people and stuff.

And I try to explain to this guy, it's not about motivation. It's about energy. If you sit still for a period of time, your brain shuts off. But if we actively move our bodies, we feel that activation also in what we learn. We tend to follow through. He didn't go in to hear it. He just said, don't do that. And then I watched the person right before me speak,

and it's this brilliant professor teaching string theory in 18 minutes, and people in the crowd are crossing their arms and rolling their eyes and going, this is bullshit. I'm thinking, this is a crazy tough crowd. So I got up, and the first thing I said was, how many of you in this room have ever failed, just like I did with you?

And it was completely silent. Not one hand went up. And I said, I know you're out there. I can hear you breathing. I got a little giggle for a couple people. And I said, come on, be honest. Who here has ever failed? And I finally get about 80% of the room to raise their hand.

And I asked them what I'm going to ask you now. And I want an honest answer because it's important. When you failed, what caused you to fail to achieve your goal? What was it? Yell it out loud, even those up at the top. What caused? Tell me what it was. Okay, didn't have enough money. Someone else. Didn't have enough time to achieve the goal. I had too much fear, so I didn't follow through. Didn't have enough courage. Didn't have the right database. Didn't know the right people. I had shitty employees. Sir, I talked to your employees. They said they had a shitty leader. Just wanted to pass that on. Right? It's like, let's be honest.

Right? So all these things you've told me, and by the way, I am asking this, and people are yelling out these answers. I'm calling on people. People are yelling out. And the room was really dark. It was a small room. You know, like I said, 300 or 400 people.

And then all of a sudden I hear this voice in the front row in the dark say, I didn't have enough Supreme Court justices. And I looked down and it's Vice President Al Gore. And I looked at him and all of a sudden the whole crowd, this is Northern California, a Democratic stronghold, so everybody stands up and claps like crazy for him. And when they're done clapping, I just stood there and said that's one way to explain why you didn't become President of the United States,

I just don't think it's accurate. And they did what you did. Oh. I said, let me explain. Let me explain and you can decide whether you should be oohing or throwing me out or agreeing. All of you here told me a series of things you said is why you failed. Let's throw up on the screen some of the things that are commonly said that some of you said here as well. People say things like, I didn't have enough, what? Time. I didn't have the money. I didn't have the data. I didn't have the technology. I didn't have the

right people. Can someone throw those up there for me? I didn't have these key things. I didn't have enough Supreme Court justices. All the things that people said they didn't have enough of are really just resources. See, time is a resource. Money is a resource. People is a resource. Courage or fear, right? Courage is a resource. Fear is not. How many follow what I'm talking about here? And so what you're really saying to me is the reason I failed is I didn't have the resources to succeed. The time, the money, the interest, the courage, the whatever. And I'm here to tell you, and I think most of you know if you search yourself, that resources are never the real problem.

The real problem is a lack of resourcefulness. Because when you're unresourceful, you will not get the answer. Because the ultimate resource is human emotion. If you're determined enough, can you find the way? Yes or no? Yes or no, my friends? If you're courageous enough, can you get through your way? Yes or no? Yes or no, my friends? If you're courageous enough, can you get through your fear? Yes or no? If you care and love people enough, can you get them to also care for you? Yes or no? Can you get people to help you? Yes or no? But only if you bring the right emotions

to it, because the thing that controls our life the most, listen to me, is invisible forces, as corny as that may sound. What affects our lives the most are things that are invisible, like radiation, like gravity, like electricity. We change the amounts of any of those, life as you know it ends. Your internet hitting your little thing here trying to make things go, that shit disappears in a heartbeat without the electricity, right? Radiation, gravity, all these things. But the most potent invisible forces are love and hate because they control everything that goes inside of us. Fear and anger versus love and joy and determination.

With the right resources, you can get yourself to do anything. And those resources are any of the emotions you see on the screen or any that you can come up with. Compassion, connection, flexibility, certainty, determination, commitment, hunger, vision. The more we cultivate those, the more we can achieve whatever we really want in our lives. How many follow here? Say aye. And so when you look at this, I came back and I said, so you're telling me that you didn't have enough Supreme Court justices. If you went back in 1974 and you read Barron's or the Wall Street Journal or any major magazine, financial magazine or newspaper, you'll find back in 1974, almost everybody was saying sell Walmart because he had 78 stores.

And according to the, if you read the write-ups, they all talk about he's maximized, he's out of resources, he has no more capital. Plus he built all these stores, all 78 in the South of the United States, Southern part. Nobody in the North is gonna wanna go in some cheap shit place with these lousy cheap prices. That was the belief system. And in those days, Sears at 851

stores, Kmart 1326. Where's Kmart today, by the way? Bankrupt. Where's Sears? Near bankruptcy, right? Hanging on by a thread right now. Those two companies dominated completely. Where is Walmart? Well, they thought he had no resources, but they didn't understand Sam Walton's ability to send a motion into his staff to get them up at 2.30 in the morning so they could drive two hours to a place where they could buy stuff for 40% off

and drive it back, put it on the shelf before 9 a.m. so people come in and get the cheapest prices. His capacity to produce that emotional shift in the people around him allowed him to grow this to the biggest retail organization on the face of the earth. And when you hear Bill Gates or Warren Buffett as the richest people in the world, that's only because Sam Walton's dead and he divided all his money up amongst eight family members who are also all in the Fortune 500. Combine them, Bill Gates is weak.

Warren Buffett is really cheap. Their level of economic power is incredible. They do a half a trillion dollars in business now. Trillion with a T. And if you were to put a $1,000 investment in 1974 when they all told you he had no more resources, it's worth $25 million today if you added not a single dime. That's the power of resourcefulness.

So I came back and addressed the vice president. I said, Mr. Vice President, so you're telling me you didn't have enough Supreme Court justices, and I'm saying to you, last night, the night before, he'd just given his speech for the first time that became a movie, The Inconvenient Truth. And I said, you were on fire. You were passionate. Al Gore is passionate. It's an amazing thing to see. And the whole room started clapping. I said, you were persuasive. You were passionate. You were amazing. I said, I watched you when you debated George W. Bush, and I wanted to vote for you, but I couldn't. You were horrible. You had no energy. You acted arrogant. I couldn't. And the

room starts clapping. I said, so I couldn't vote for you. I said, the truth of the matter is, it wasn't the Supreme Court justices. If you had been as resourceful as you were last night, you wouldn't have needed Supreme Court justices to be elected. And the whole room stood up and gave a standing ovation. And then Al Gore came over and gave me a little high five and a hug. And then they're all saying to me, you've got to get him running for president. I said, he doesn't want to run for president. My point is really simple. If you and I are failing, it is not because you don't have the resources.

It's because you believe that you need resources instead of tapping into your resourcefulness. The most successful humans on earth have found a way to be resourceful in the most difficult times. Yes, let's give a hand for all those people. Thank you guys so much for listening to, as Michael would say, uncle Tony, I like to call him Tony Robbins. Please follow him on Instagram at Tony Robbins. And please,

please, please listen, rate, review, and subscribe to the skinny confidential him and her show on itunes if you guys want to screenshot your review you can get my five favorite beauty secrets straight to your inbox just screenshot it and send it to ask lauren l-a-u-r-y-n at the skinny confidential.com and we will send you my favorite beauty tips right to your inbox.