The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Amelia Gray Hamlin On Overcoming An Eating Disorder, Social Pressures, RHOBH, Modeling, & Life On Her Own Terms
Episode Date: August 25, 2020#290: On this episode we are joined by Amelia Gray Hamlin. Amelia is a model, actress, and the daughter of Lisa Rinna & Harry Hamlin. On today's episode we discuss how Amelia overcame an eating disord...er and shared that journey with the world. We also discuss the social pressures of growing up with parents in the spotlight and how a little television show called The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has impacted her living life on her own terms. To connect with Amelia Gray Hamlin click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by Feals Feals is a better way to feel better. Our premium CBD will keep your head clear and help you feel your best. CBD has been proven to greatly reduce anxiety, pain, and sleeplessness. Feals has us feeling our best every day and it can help you too.Become a member today by going to Feals.com/skinny to get 50% off your first order with free shipping! This episode is brought to you by GLOSSIER What matters to you most when it comes to skincare? Quality of ingredients? Effectiveness? Glossier believes beauty starts with skin first, makeup second. Glossier's Milky Jelly Cleanser is the perfect way to start your skincare routine. Plus, all new customers will get 10% off their first order on Glossier.com/podcast/skinny This episode is brought to you by BETABRAND and their Betabrand dress pant yoga pants. To try these pants go to betabrand.com/skinny and receive 20% off your order. Millions of women agree these are the most comfortable pants you’ll ever wear to work. Produced by Dear Media
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                                         The following podcast is a Dear Media production. your skin. And if you're going to get a makeup product from them, I highly recommend their cloud paint. I put a little bit on the apples of my cheek or even on my lips, and it gives you this
                                         
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                                         She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very
                                         
                                         smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get
                                         
                                         ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential him and her.
                                         
                                         Aha.
                                         
                                         You are where you're supposed to be and that's that.
                                         
                                         I just think it's really hard being compared to situations that I'm not close to
                                         
                                         and I'm working very hard to get to.
                                         
                                         It's like people think that I am and I'm just like not.
                                         
    
                                         Like I'm just trying to be my own person, write my own story, you know, do my own thing.
                                         
                                         And it's always a comparison. Boom, boom, boom. Made it back again. Another
                                         
                                         Tuesday. Welcome back, everybody, to the Skinny Confidential Him and Her Show. That clip was from
                                         
                                         our guest of the show today, Amelia Gray Hamlin, daughter of Lisa Renna and Harry Hamlin.
                                         
                                         You're feeling great because you just got adjusted.
                                         
                                         I just got adjusted. My back is, guys, I'm out of whack.
                                         
                                         I mean, but we've had Dennis who's been on this show.
                                         
                                         He just adjusted me. I feel good. I feel fired up to do a good introduction.
                                         
    
                                         You feel post-sex good.
                                         
                                         I feel, well, we had, yeah, I mean, you might have had something to do with that last night.
                                         
                                         Anyway, guys, welcome back. Here we go again. We got a long episode today.
                                         
                                         This one was a fun one.
                                         
                                         We went all over the place.
                                         
                                         It's like a two and a half hour episode with Amelia.
                                         
                                         I don't know if it's that long, but it's getting up there.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it's a good one.
                                         
    
                                         You better all listen to it.
                                         
                                         You better not tune out at any point.
                                         
                                         No, don't tune out.
                                         
                                         Okay, so before we get into this episode, I just wanted to mention something.
                                         
                                         There is some controversy going on about one of the guests that we had on the Skinny Confidential.
                                         
                                         Which one?
                                         
                                         Again?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         It's like this is nothing new because we get flack about guests all the time.
                                         
                                         We get DMs.
                                         
                                         But regardless, I wanted to get on the mic and say once again what I've always said.
                                         
                                         This is a disclaimer.
                                         
                                         Listen at your own risk.
                                         
                                         You have to consume this content at your own risk.
                                         
                                         We are a media outlet.
                                         
                                         We've literally had all walks of life on here.
                                         
    
                                         We'd have somebody that came on that hates fruit.
                                         
                                         We had somebody come on that was in an open relationship,
                                         
                                         having relationships with multiple women, multiple men.
                                         
                                         We had someone come on here that uses Adderall for weight loss.
                                         
                                         We've interviewed a legal sex worker in a brothel.
                                         
                                         That's not to say that me and Lauren are saying
                                         
                                         everybody should go be a legal sex worker and a brothel. That's not to say that me and Lauren are saying everybody should go be a legal sex worker
                                         
                                         and that should be the new career path.
                                         
    
                                         What we're doing here is presenting all different walks of life and leaving it to you, the audience,
                                         
                                         to make an educated decision on what works for you in your own life.
                                         
                                         We've also said not to take everything we do and apply it to your life.
                                         
                                         You got to do what works for you.
                                         
                                         If you can't do that, I don't know what to say.
                                         
                                         Yeah, you got to come to your own conclusions with this podcast.
                                         
                                         And if that doesn't work for you, I think that this isn't
                                         
                                         the podcast to listen to. On a personal note, I am sharing my own journey, obviously, on Instagram
                                         
    
                                         stories and Instagram and my blog. And I am not perfect. I'm not trying to be perfect. I am
                                         
                                         actually here to show you there's bumps in the road. And I'm constantly evolving as a human.
                                         
                                         So Michael and I, our point is, is that you're the hero of this content.
                                         
                                         It's not me and my opinion and me telling you to do things.
                                         
                                         In fact, I personally don't think that anyone should listen to anyone's opinion.
                                         
                                         I think they should do their own research and, like Michael said, be their own guru.
                                         
                                         We've said a thousand times, Lauren and I do what works for Lauren and I.
                                         
                                         If anybody can listen to this show and pick up a tip or a trick that they think could
                                         
    
                                         work for their own life or they can hear a guest that resonates with them,
                                         
                                         and they can take some tips from them, great. And if not, leave it where you find it. These
                                         
                                         are conversations that Lauren and I have. We're learning at the same time as the audience. That's
                                         
                                         why we have these conversations very selfishly. Luckily, we have the benefit of sharing with an
                                         
                                         audience, but ultimately, we're all in the same seat. It's just having conversations with these guests, learning as we go. We never know what's going to pop up. We never
                                         
                                         know who's going to show up. Why don't we say we know who's going to show up, but we never know
                                         
                                         like what, where the conversation is going to go. It's not like we sit here like Barbara Walters
                                         
                                         and Walter Cronkite with note cards and like trying to get something, you know, we are a media
                                         
    
                                         outlet. We have conversations, take what you like, leave what you don't. I just also think if we
                                         
                                         agreed with every single guest on this podcast,
                                         
                                         everyone would be bored to fucking tears.
                                         
                                         Do you agree with every single person that you run into?
                                         
                                         I mean, really, do you agree with everyone you go to dinner with?
                                         
                                         No, and I don't want to go to dinner with people that I disagree with all the time.
                                         
                                         That's boring.
                                         
                                         Okay, so just to wrap this up on another sort of personal level,
                                         
    
                                         in regards to the past guests that I am referring to,
                                         
                                         I have said multiple times on this podcast,
                                         
                                         and I'm going to say it again. I do not consume whey protein. Many doctors who have come on here
                                         
                                         told me if you want to age, eat whey. However, there have been a lot of people that I've talked
                                         
                                         to, and I've talked to a lot of different people, doctors, scientists, everyday women who love whey
                                         
                                         protein and eat it every day. So here's another example. It's like
                                         
                                         you have to do what works for you. So what I can say, the whole point of this, do what works for
                                         
                                         you. Be your own guru. Do your own research. Talk to your doctor. And most importantly,
                                         
    
                                         listen to your body. We are not doctors. We are not trying to be doctors. We are just sharing
                                         
                                         all different kinds of voices. And I do want to mention, and Michael, I think you can agree with me on this.
                                         
                                         We are going to continue to have controversial guests on this podcast.
                                         
                                         If that doesn't work for you.
                                         
                                         We're not a real play it safe kind of platform.
                                         
                                         I get it if it doesn't work for you.
                                         
                                         I totally get it.
                                         
                                         But that's why there's 8 billion other podcasts to listen to.
                                         
    
                                         I am not for everyone.
                                         
                                         And that is OK.
                                         
                                         And side note, just like your individual opinions evolve and change, Amelia Hamlin.
                                         
                                         She is the daughter of Lisa Renna of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, which I hope Taylor
                                         
                                         is going to cue that music. And her father is Harry Hamlin, but she has such an interesting life.
                                         
                                         She is smart. She's vivacious. And like I said, and I'm going to say it again,
                                         
                                         she's self-aware. This interview does not disappoint. I hope you guys love it.
                                         
                                         This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her.
                                         
    
                                         We're just talking about how Amelia doesn't know who Howard Stern is.
                                         
                                         No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
                                         
                                         I feel like that rings a bell now.
                                         
                                         Now that I have it in my mind, I'm like, okay, maybe.
                                         
                                         He is the fucking bell, pretty much.
                                         
                                         He is the bell.
                                         
                                         He is the king of audio.
                                         
                                         I believe, I think I used to hear,
                                         
    
                                         well, the reason I brought it up
                                         
                                         is I think I used to hear your mom on Stern.
                                         
                                         They always used to have wild conversations.
                                         
                                         Your mom's an outspoken person,
                                         
                                         as I'm sure you are very well aware.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I think that you need to go home to your mom
                                         
                                         and say, mom, I just went on
                                         
    
                                         the Skinny Confidential podcast
                                         
                                         and they told me about your interviews on Howard Stern
                                         
                                         and watch her face.
                                         
                                         Well, was it really sexual?
                                         
                                         Like, do I even want to listen?
                                         
                                         I don't know.
                                         
                                         I haven't listened to her.
                                         
                                         I can't remember.
                                         
    
                                         I don't think, no, your mom's like, obviously.
                                         
                                         Either he was talking about her or with her,
                                         
                                         always favorable.
                                         
                                         I think they got along.
                                         
                                         I think they're friends.
                                         
                                         I mean, it's been a long time.
                                         
                                         So Stern, like I used to listen to him back in the 90s.
                                         
                                         Yeah, we don't, she wasn't even born.
                                         
    
                                         So I wasn't.
                                         
                                         And then like in the 2000s.
                                         
                                         Were you really not?
                                         
                                         No, I wasn't. But when he switched to Sirius. She doesn't know what the 2000s when he was really not no but when he
                                         
                                         switched to serious she doesn't know what the night i used to listen back and forth when i
                                         
                                         drive to call it from because i went to arizona and i go back and forth between california and
                                         
                                         there and i used to listen to him i i just i remember i think she was either on there or
                                         
                                         something called in or something we also may remember her from playboy too okay explains a
                                         
    
                                         little bit so so give us a little bit of background, where you grew up, what your childhood was like.
                                         
                                         Give us some context for anyone who's unfamiliar with you.
                                         
                                         And I'm going to have you go close like this.
                                         
                                         This is our first podcast.
                                         
                                         We're popping your cherry.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         Yes, you are.
                                         
                                         So I grew up in LA, went to a progressive elementary hippie weird school that I'll probably
                                         
    
                                         end up sending my kids to one day.
                                         
                                         It was so weird. I have a sister who's three years older than me. I have a brother who's 40,
                                         
                                         who is my dad's son. Then I went to an all-girls school, which completely fucked me up, like,
                                         
                                         really bad. Why? Really bad. Like, you know, I just think that at my progressive hippie elementary
                                         
                                         school, I was taught one thing. And then I went
                                         
                                         to an all girls school in the center of Brentwood and I was taught a completely different thing.
                                         
                                         And like they preach feminism so much, but I feel like it was one of those instances where
                                         
                                         they didn't really practice what they preached. And that's when I first started having more of
                                         
    
                                         a negative mindset. and when things started
                                         
                                         to go downhill like I had the most amazing childhood ever I was a super normal kid like
                                         
                                         I loved jumping on the trampoline it was dope it was great and then I went to this all girls school
                                         
                                         and all of a sudden like I'm in class and I'm being taught that, you know, models are horrible and they sexualize women in negative ways and actresses are horrible.
                                         
                                         And like here I am sitting in my social history history class.
                                         
                                         I think that's what it was called or something in like ninth grade.
                                         
                                         And like there's literally a photo of my mom on the projector and they're like dissecting all of the bad things that like my mom has done did
                                         
                                         they not realize you were in the class no they did it's weird um all the weird bad things my mom has
                                         
    
                                         done representing women and blah blah blah so then i was just kind of like this is really weird
                                         
                                         and then i remember we would dissect like carl Jr. weird ads and shit like that. And I would just get so
                                         
                                         uncomfortable because not only, you know, was my mom brought up, but like I'm over here trying to
                                         
                                         be a model and everybody in my class knew that. And they're like basically looking at my family
                                         
                                         being like, everything you're doing is wrong, blah, blah, blah. So long story short, we ended up getting
                                         
                                         pulled out of the school. And I'm pretty sure if we didn't get pulled out, we would have been asked
                                         
                                         to leave. They were just super non-accepting of what my family was doing in the industry.
                                         
                                         So I think for a long time, this sort of made me change my outlook on what I wanted to do.
                                         
    
                                         And it almost changed what I wanted to do. Then when I went
                                         
                                         through my eating disorder, I feel like the reason why I was so outspoken and I really wanted to
                                         
                                         share my story was because I feel like, you know, women's stories aren't shared enough. And I
                                         
                                         realized that at my all girls school sitting there shaming women, not only body shaming women, but shaming women for embracing their sexuality.
                                         
                                         And Heidi Klum can eat her Carl's Jr. burger as sexually as she wants to for all we care.
                                         
                                         That doesn't need to be a negative thing unless she was forced to do it and she was uncomfortable and she didn't want to do it and blah, blah, blah.
                                         
                                         That doesn't have to be negative.
                                         
                                         That can be looked at as something very inspiring. And so anyways,
                                         
    
                                         went through my eating disorder, which was like short. And I'm super lucky about that. I don't
                                         
                                         even think that my eating disorder really was like based upon my body and my body image. Cause
                                         
                                         I was like, my mom's fucking small. Like I was always small, but I think it was like based upon my body and my body image because I was like my mom's fucking small like I was always small but I think it was like this all-girls school like stuff that I went through
                                         
                                         and I was like just in a depressed state and I was just really confused anyways go through my
                                         
                                         eating disorder decide to share my story I don't like talk to my mom about it or anything I'm
                                         
                                         sitting in Cabo one day and we're at the Palia and I'm like sitting in my room and I'm
                                         
                                         like, you know what? Like I'm just going to tell everyone on my Instagram right now that this is
                                         
                                         what I'm going through. And this is what I went through because like, here I am sitting on my
                                         
    
                                         bench at the resort in Cabo, looking through my Instagram feed, feeling so shitty about myself
                                         
                                         because I don't look like these girls. And then I'm like, well, why are we all being lied to? Like, why not just
                                         
                                         be that girl? That's like, this is what I'm going through. I know someone else is too. You're not
                                         
                                         alone, X, Y, and Z. So I think I just decided to really stand up for women and talk about what I'm
                                         
                                         going through so that others didn't feel alone like I did. But at the same time, that does come and bite me in the butt. Because at the same time, I don't know what I'm doing
                                         
                                         or what I'm talking about. I'm literally just sharing the story that's happened to me.
                                         
                                         So it's definitely scary and weird. I also think a mistake I made, well, I don't think it would
                                         
                                         take back anything that I did, but I think a mistake that I made was sharing my story while I was still going through it. Because I hadn't healed,
                                         
    
                                         I think that it was a lot harder to really understand the message that I wanted to portray.
                                         
                                         And I think that there's no black and white when it comes to an eating disorder. There's a lot
                                         
                                         that happens and
                                         
                                         goes on. Again, that's why I want to study psychology. I don't need to necessarily get
                                         
                                         a degree in it, but I just want to have some sort of understanding of like, why not only does the
                                         
                                         human brain, but woman's brains go through, you know, what I went through. You said something
                                         
                                         interesting. You said that your school,
                                         
                                         that it was all about feminism. I noticed I was telling Michael this the other day, like,
                                         
    
                                         we talk so much about feminism, but sometimes I notice when it doesn't fit in to some people that are feminist box, I put that in quotes, then it doesn't work for them. Was that being a feminist
                                         
                                         then? Yeah. I just noticed, like, for instance, I'll give an example. We went to the bunny ranch and we
                                         
                                         interviewed Alice Little, who's the head bunny there. And we really wanted to showcase how smart
                                         
                                         and well-spoken and articulate and amazing she is. And we got backlash from that. And some of
                                         
                                         it was from feminists. And I'm like, this is so hypocritical
                                         
                                         because part of being a feminist is embracing all women, whatever that looks like. So it sounds like
                                         
                                         that's your school. It was sort of like that. It's not like you fitting into the box.
                                         
                                         It's the problem with self-righteous people is like they're self-righteous and they say like,
                                         
    
                                         and they're all for progress and change until it doesn't fit their version of progress and change.
                                         
                                         Exactly. And that's the irony of all of it.
                                         
                                         I was really appalled.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         And it's sad because I'm pretty sure that my sister and I
                                         
                                         were the only people that clocked it.
                                         
                                         You know what's funny is like running Dear Media,
                                         
                                         I get asked all the time like,
                                         
    
                                         well, how can a man work with all these women?
                                         
                                         And like, you know, that's like a default question
                                         
                                         that a lot of publications and a lot of news outlets ask me.
                                         
                                         And I think like what I've been doing is like
                                         
                                         the more interesting question for me to ask back to them is like, why do you think
                                         
                                         that's so strange for men to work with women? Right. Exactly. And like, I think we've gone to
                                         
                                         this place where like, it's like, you can't work with women. You're a man. You can't, you can't
                                         
                                         work with these shows because you're a man. You can't do that. Cause, and I'm like, well, how have
                                         
    
                                         we gotten to a place where that's not okay? And I think like, that's the whole problem with society.
                                         
                                         It's like, we've gotten so far where like, my goal here is like men and women can work together to amplify women. That's not a good cause. I don't
                                         
                                         know what else is. Do you want to feel better? Well, feels is a better way to feel better.
                                         
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                                         Ben Greenfield and many guests on the show, put a little bit of CBD on your tongue and
                                         
                                         it's the best sleep ever.
                                         
    
                                         I mean, there's so many studies right now that the benefits are good for inflammation.
                                         
                                         It's good for your skin.
                                         
                                         It's good for sleep.
                                         
                                         It really is a miracle product.
                                         
                                         You got to make sure that you're working with and getting the right products because there's a lot of charlatans out there that
                                         
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                                         Michael, it's important to mention that there's no high or hangover or addiction with this. Okay.
                                         
                                         So CBD is awesome. It's so good for you. I especially noticed it, like I said,
                                         
    
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                                         Do you think, because Michael and I have been having a lot of conversations about raising where we want to raise our baby.
                                         
                                         Oh my gosh. Do you think that LA has to do though also with what you've gone through? Because you're in the spotlight, you
                                         
    
                                         have this school that seems very weird. Do you think just being surrounded by LA has anything
                                         
                                         to do with what you've been through? A hundred percent. I think that, like I said, I would never
                                         
                                         take anything back. I would never do anything over. But I find myself thinking about the simplicity of a small town a lot. And I find myself thinking of
                                         
                                         what would have happened if I was born in know, this depth in, you know,
                                         
                                         perspective in my mind at such a young age? Or, you know, would I be kind of,
                                         
                                         I don't want to say the wrong thing, but like, you know, would I just not be who I am today?
                                         
                                         And then it's like, but the simplicity of that life is so nice. Like, you don't really have to worry about all of these small things that really don't
                                         
                                         matter in life.
                                         
    
                                         And I think that that was really hard for me growing up is because a lot of people I
                                         
                                         felt like that I was surrounded with just weren't really there like I was, if that makes
                                         
                                         sense.
                                         
                                         Because I feel like it really is all about how you were raised in LA
                                         
                                         and just so many people I feel like just weren't raised in the way that I can relate to.
                                         
                                         Though I feel like LA has really made me good and bad. Bad because I have standards that I
                                         
                                         shouldn't have growing up in LA. What ways? With what?
                                         
                                         You know, like I remember when I got my first car, I was so excited. I got a Mercedes CLA 250
                                         
    
                                         Sport. And I was so excited. You know, it was like the coolest car any of my friends had. Yes,
                                         
                                         I was paying for it. But like my parents, you know, got it for me. And then I had to pay for
                                         
                                         the down payments or the lease, whatever. I don't even know what it's called. So like all my other friends,
                                         
                                         you know, I was so lucky and blessed to have a Mercedes growing up where I, where I, you know,
                                         
                                         I grew up in like a nice place, but like the friends that I hung out with and chose to hang
                                         
                                         out with weren't necessarily as wealthy as some people in LA.
                                         
                                         And I loved that. And that's pretty much all I knew and was surrounded with growing up.
                                         
                                         And then I met another group of people who I really hope don't listen to this podcast.
                                         
    
                                         Everybody listens to this podcast. Do they really?
                                         
                                         I'm just kidding. No no i think they do honestly so
                                         
                                         then i met this other group of friends they're all like pulling up in their g wagons with like
                                         
                                         their rolexes around their wrists like at 18 and like all this shit i'm just like whoa like i just
                                         
                                         went from being the cool girl because i had a mercedes cla 250 sport now i'm like the poor girl
                                         
                                         who doesn't have a g wagon tellagon. Tell the pissant story.
                                         
                                         Well, no, there's always like, we always talk about it. I mean, I don't want to interrupt
                                         
                                         your story, but there's always like a bigger fish. And it's, I think that it's good for people to
                                         
    
                                         understand that because they look and they see, oh, like this person, you know, like right when
                                         
                                         you think you made it at the top, you like turn to the left and there's somebody that's much higher
                                         
                                         or lower. And I think that's the beautiful thing about life is like, just when you think,
                                         
                                         you know, my dad always says like, just when you think you made it, you realize you're a
                                         
                                         fucking pissant because there's always somebody bigger i think
                                         
                                         that's why you gotta people have to start practicing being happy with where they are
                                         
                                         because there's always there's different levels to this shit i mean that's it's lauren likes that
                                         
                                         because it's like every time you think like oh i'm the shit i made it you gotta remember like
                                         
    
                                         gotta check yourself a bit but i also think like that's one of the things that i would have
                                         
                                         definitely rather not had in my childhood because I think that I,
                                         
                                         to some extent, did come out a bit materialistic. And in times I catch myself being like, Amelia,
                                         
                                         wait, like this doesn't matter. Let's pull it back because this isn't what life's about. And
                                         
                                         I catch myself saying all the time, like this isn't real life. Like I it's like I think that
                                         
                                         money is some kind of like simulation or something. Like I'm always like in my head, this isn't real life.
                                         
                                         This isn't what matters.
                                         
                                         But you know what's funny?
                                         
    
                                         I have to tell you what's funny.
                                         
                                         I was telling Michael the other day that it's so predictable to me just how how some people
                                         
                                         from L.A. like drive up like you just said in their G-Wagon with like 800 diamonds up
                                         
                                         their arm with the huge watch and all the stuff.
                                         
                                         And I will say you walked in, you're wearing a fucking like white T-shirt, some jeans. You're totally dressed down.
                                         
                                         Yeah. She's wearing like she's just so dressed down. I don't like that to me.
                                         
                                         I don't even have makeup on. I mean, I did cover this massive pimple.
                                         
                                         But we're going to get into pimples. Don't worry. We have questions.
                                         
    
                                         Okay, great.
                                         
                                         But you're so like the opposite of
                                         
                                         superficial the way you look. So that's interesting that you say that. Yeah. But I think that has a
                                         
                                         lot to do with my mom. Like I remember growing up, I was always sort of confused and I would
                                         
                                         ask her frequently. And when I say growing up, maybe I was like eight, I'd be like, mom, like,
                                         
                                         why don't you wear makeup? Like all the other moms that drop the kids off at school. Like,
                                         
                                         why do all my friends' moms wear makeup and you don't? And drop the kids off at school? Like, why do all my
                                         
                                         friends' moms wear makeup and you don't? And I remember she was just like, you know, like,
                                         
    
                                         I just don't, I don't like it. I don't like the feeling of it on my face. Like, I don't feel like
                                         
                                         I need to wear makeup to leave the house. And like, what, like, moms at like 6.30 a.m. like,
                                         
                                         have their full face on makeup. Oh, fuck no. Do you know what I mean? Like, no, no, no. I'm not
                                         
                                         going to be one of those moms. I don't give a a shit um but so i would always ask her but not only would she not
                                         
                                         wear makeup it would be like i would have my friends over and like my mom would walk downstairs
                                         
                                         in her full-on thong white shirt nipples out and i'd just be like okay like but i wouldn't think
                                         
                                         anything about it because it was normal.
                                         
                                         It was what my mom did. And now I look back and I'm like, fuck, my friends must have been so
                                         
    
                                         uncomfortable. But that being said, I think I was just so brought up around someone that does not
                                         
                                         give a flying fuck. From what I've seen, I think that's an accurate description.
                                         
                                         Yeah. That's pretty much the only one I have for her. But yeah. So I just, I don't either. But sometimes I wish I did because
                                         
                                         like sometimes my friends will make, like the other day I got my eyebrows laminated and my
                                         
                                         eyelashes like curled or whatever. They look amazing. No, it was a long time ago. Oh, okay.
                                         
                                         But thank you. I want to get my mamma. It was a month ago. Oh no, I'll go into that. Don't.
                                         
                                         But anyways, my friend goes, my friend goes, wow, you look so pretty today. And I'm like, long time ago oh but thank you I want to it was a month ago oh no I'll go into that don't but
                                         
                                         anyways my friend goes my friend goes wow you look so pretty today and I'm like oh thanks she's
                                         
    
                                         like I've never seen you like this and I was like wait are you are you kidding me like because when
                                         
                                         I tell you like I don't care like it's bad like I really don't like Like, this is me, like, dressed a lot. But you have to have some kind of I don't care element to be on Housewives.
                                         
                                         So, like.
                                         
                                         I really don't care.
                                         
                                         I'm not.
                                         
                                         When you put yourself.
                                         
                                         But I got to start.
                                         
                                         No, I don't think you do.
                                         
    
                                         I think it gives a real depiction of real life, like behind the scenes.
                                         
                                         So when you go in to film that, do you just not give a shit about what you look like,
                                         
                                         what you say?
                                         
                                         Like, are you just like, whatever?
                                         
                                         Like, they're going to edit it like shit anyway.
                                         
                                         I literally don't care at all. My mom will text me and she'll be like, okay, like,
                                         
                                         can you come over tomorrow and film blah, blah, blah. I'm like, sure. I go in my pajamas to my
                                         
                                         mom's house. I'll like throw on some jeans that I have at my mom's house. Like I literally don't
                                         
    
                                         think about it. If I have a pimple like I do today, I'll cover it. But like, I'm not going to put foundation on and like my contour, though
                                         
                                         I need to start because now looking back, I'm like, shit, like I need to start caring a bit
                                         
                                         more. But at the same time, like, again, because I grew up without my mom wearing makeup, I'm like,
                                         
                                         I don't feel prettier when I wear makeup. You know what I mean? Like, I feel fine without makeup. So I just don't really give a shit. But then I look
                                         
                                         back and I'm like, oh God, I should have given a shit. Do you watch the show when it's live after
                                         
                                         you've been on it? Or are you like, this is triggering? No, no, no. Though my sister and I
                                         
                                         just moved in together. And for the past like three weeks we have watched it only
                                         
                                         because like I I'm sitting on my couch I'm having dinner and all of a sudden my fucking Instagram
                                         
    
                                         will be flooded with like 100 comments 200 likes like just going at me and I'm like what did I say
                                         
                                         then I'll have to re-watch it and because my mom doesn't tell me because she doesn't want me to
                                         
                                         get stressed out like she's not going to be like you had a bad episode like whatever but like
                                         
                                         today she was like yeah so like tomorrow you're on the show does it is it on Wednesdays I don't
                                         
                                         even know she's like yeah like tomorrow you're on the show like don't worry though like it's okay
                                         
                                         but she's like don't talk about it like don't comment on it and I'm like okay like I won't
                                         
                                         because I do struggle with like biting my tongue at the same time. Let me ask you this. Cause I think about it now with our child, like Lauren
                                         
                                         and I are not super public people, but we're public in some regards. Right. And I think about
                                         
    
                                         like, we both grew up with parents that weren't public. So like we had childhood where it was
                                         
                                         like a lot of privacy and like weren't in the public eye. You have obviously grown up in an
                                         
                                         opposite way where like your mom and dad are both very public and you've had to grow up with that dynamic. So obviously, you maybe can't relate to the way we grew up. We can't
                                         
                                         relate to the way you grew up. But thinking about a child now, do you think one way is better,
                                         
                                         worse? Do you wish that you had more privacy versus less? Even now, good, bad? Because I
                                         
                                         think about it all the time. Lauren and I kind of in a way signed up for what we do and putting
                                         
                                         ourselves out there, but the kid obviously has not. Didn't. Yeah. And I think about that a lot. I'm
                                         
                                         like, I would freak out if somebody like started bothering my kid. You know what I say to people?
                                         
    
                                         A lot of people ask me like, how was it growing up with your parents in the public eye? And I don't
                                         
                                         know, you had an answer to a question earlier that reminded me of it. And I'm just like, well, how is it not having your parents in the public eye?
                                         
                                         Because just as they don't know my life, I don't know theirs.
                                         
                                         Because it wasn't like I grew up half and half.
                                         
                                         Like I grew up full force in the public eye.
                                         
                                         So I don't know any different.
                                         
                                         But I turned out fine, I think.
                                         
                                         I think I'm fine.
                                         
    
                                         I think you turned out more than fine.
                                         
                                         There's some people, like kids that have grown up and I think that they've done a good job,
                                         
                                         but that's not always common. I think I'm fine because my parents were so open because there
                                         
                                         are so many celebrity families and celebrity children who I know personally, and they're just
                                         
                                         so private that we have no idea what's going on behind the curtains. And I think that's when
                                         
                                         things can kind of go astray. That is such a good point. It's like your secrets make you sick. Yeah.
                                         
                                         That is so true. Like my family, we don't have anything to hide. So it doesn't really stress
                                         
                                         me out. But I feel like when you're spending so much time and effort on like trying to contain
                                         
    
                                         your lawsuits or your secrets or like whatever you need to contain like that's when it gets like crazy it's so funny you
                                         
                                         say that because we talk i talk about this in business and i'm like if you're in any i mean
                                         
                                         any kind of public person any kind of business person i either think it's like you're so far
                                         
                                         behind the closed door nobody knows who you are or if you're out there you got to be so fucking
                                         
                                         out there that it's like you know like at this, there's not like people ask me all the time, like, Hey, well,
                                         
                                         are you happy doing this? I'm like, at this point, there's nothing I haven't said. It's all out there.
                                         
                                         You can do Google everything I've ever done. So I'm not like, I'm not hiding from anything. And
                                         
                                         it's freeing in a way. Cause a lot of people like we're in this weird time and place where
                                         
    
                                         some people that have been private are now kind of in public. I think that's why you're seeing
                                         
                                         so much shit come out about people. It's like. You can't hide anymore. It's impossible.
                                         
                                         Oh, meow. Have you checked out Beta Brand yet? These are the pants that you need for quarantine.
                                         
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                                         Women love these pants because they fit so well. And Michael has told me multiple times that my
                                         
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                                         skinny for 25% off and check out the black skinny pant. You will love it. I'm
                                         
                                         telling you, it is so flattering. There's a lot of girls out there that are listening that are
                                         
                                         struggling or have struggled with an eating disorder. What were the three most helpful
                                         
                                         things that got you? And you said it's not black and white, so I don't want to say through it, but what are the three most helpful tools in your toolbox?
                                         
    
                                         I think the most important thing is you need to want to get better. And I know that this is
                                         
                                         a difficult one because a lot of people probably don't and it's really hard. But for me, it was
                                         
                                         like waking up whatever day I woke up, looking in the mirror and being like, holy guacamole,
                                         
                                         you are really skinny and it is very scary. And obviously, I mean, I guess it's not obvious,
                                         
                                         but I woke up one morning at my childhood best friend's house.
                                         
                                         It was like seven in the morning.
                                         
                                         And my parents, my sister, they're all outside waiting to pick me up.
                                         
                                         And I'm like, what are you doing here?
                                         
    
                                         It's Saturday morning.
                                         
                                         And they're like, get in the car.
                                         
                                         We're going to UCLA.
                                         
                                         And I was like, oh my God.
                                         
                                         And in that moment, I was like, I'm going to rebel.
                                         
                                         They're crazy.
                                         
                                         I don't have an eating disorder.
                                         
                                         UCLA to get treatment?
                                         
    
                                         Yes. OK. UCLA to get treatment. I don't think i've ever gone in depth in this story but we show up it's like this really
                                         
                                         scary old man's office i guess he's like famous and like eating disorder but like he's like
                                         
                                         hoarder vibes like could it not have been a more uncomfortable vibe for me and i sat there and
                                         
                                         there was just like books everywhere, even on the floor,
                                         
                                         like everywhere, scary, scary vibes. And he looked at me and I really took this man seriously. Like
                                         
                                         he was very legit scary. And he looked at me and he was like, so yeah, basically at this rate in
                                         
                                         about four months, you're going to be 45 pounds and you're going to be dead. And I just remember
                                         
                                         being like, wait, I'm sorry. That's even like, that's humanly possible. Like I could get to 45
                                         
    
                                         pounds, like thinking that in my head. Then I was like, yeah, I don't want to do that. And then like,
                                         
                                         I just snapped out of it. Like I was so lucky that I was just like, yeah, don't want to be 45
                                         
                                         pounds. Not going to be, you know, this type of person. I'm not going to
                                         
                                         ruin my life because of whatever issues I'm having. Like you don't need to be skinny to
                                         
                                         like live your best life. Like it's either skinny and die or like happy and be who you are.
                                         
                                         When do you remember, is there like an epiphany of when it started or was it something slow? Like
                                         
                                         how does that kind of thing start?
                                         
                                         I don't know a lot about it.
                                         
    
                                         Is it like something that like you just start restricting cheese and then all of a sudden
                                         
                                         you're playing meat?
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         So I think I was like 14 or 15 walking out of like American rag.
                                         
                                         Is that what the store is called?
                                         
                                         Is that a store?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         With my mom.
                                         
    
                                         I was wearing jeans and like this cute Harley
                                         
                                         Davidson shirt. And like, I was kind of in my awkward stage in life and a paparazzi was shooting
                                         
                                         us and I didn't really think anything of it. I've had that happen since I was, you know,
                                         
                                         born. Wasn't a big thing. Then I remember like that's when Snapchat and Daily Mail and all these things were like,
                                         
                                         you know, a thing and you can actually see where the photos went opposed to growing up. You know,
                                         
                                         I just knew someone was taking photos of me, but I didn't know where they went.
                                         
                                         So I did have to get a magazine to see. Right. Exactly. So like I took it upon myself to just
                                         
                                         like look it up, I think, or like someone sent it to me. I don't know. So I saw these photos and I was just like, like, oh my gosh, Amelia, what's happening? Like this is so bad. And then I remember
                                         
    
                                         crying to my mom about them. And there was this thing on the internet that I had found
                                         
                                         of a model that I looked up to at the time, basically saying that her trick is doing the master cleanse and she always does
                                         
                                         the master cleanse before a huge job so i was like okay great like i'm gonna do the master
                                         
                                         cleanse it's gonna be great whatever i did the master cleanse for 25 days holy shit wait isn't
                                         
                                         that just lemon water and cayenne yeah 25 days you drink just lemon and cayenne water for 25 days yeah wow so i did that
                                         
                                         then no food occasional soup jesus maybe like two sweet potato fries then i started working out a
                                         
                                         lot and when i mean like working out a lot like i'd have my master cleanse and if i had popcorn
                                         
                                         with one of my friends because like i was 15 like i was hanging out people it was summer like i was still you know living my
                                         
    
                                         best life if i would have popcorn like even skinny pop with my friends like i i would if even if it
                                         
                                         was one in the morning like i would go in the gym because i was living at my parents house and i
                                         
                                         would just like work out run on the treadmill and you did your parents know like what like we're
                                         
                                         like what is she doing they were asleep they had no idea and so then i would start working out during the day and then they
                                         
                                         would like see it and then my mom comes in the gym one day and she's like what's happening like
                                         
                                         are you okay like your sister thinks you're anorexic and then i was like no like delilah
                                         
                                         just doesn't want me to ever be skinnier than her so like this was an ongoing thing for a long time
                                         
                                         where they didn't
                                         
    
                                         know that there was actually anything wrong because I would just be like, no, like Delilah's
                                         
                                         trying to sabotage me and like blah, blah, blah, this and that. And like, obviously she's not like,
                                         
                                         she's not a psychopath. Like that didn't cross her mind. She was genuinely concerned for me.
                                         
                                         So how many years apart are you guys? We're three. Okay. Now I love her and she's my best friend, but like there were definitely rocky moments.
                                         
                                         But so master cleanse.
                                         
                                         Then I started incorporating soup.
                                         
                                         Also, I would weigh myself every single morning.
                                         
                                         Big fat.
                                         
    
                                         No, like now I notice even though I've been recovered for like two years almost now, even when there's a scale in my presence
                                         
                                         or like it's fine if there's a scale in my presence. But once I decide to go on it, like
                                         
                                         I'm fucked. My day's fucked. I am fucked. Even when I go to the doctor, I don't let them weigh me.
                                         
                                         That's so interesting that you said that because my friend lost 65 pounds and I was telling him that I'm in the midst of losing 20 pounds and I was weighing myself every morning.
                                         
                                         But like sometimes you have to know. No, he said don't. He said do not weigh yourself, Lauren. So
                                         
                                         I haven't weighed myself since he said that it was a month ago because he said when you get on that
                                         
                                         scale, it spikes your cortisol. But you like you gain weight from the cortisol. So he told me to
                                         
                                         get off the scale. You said it spiked your
                                         
    
                                         cortisol all day. No, like 100%. And that's another interesting thing because once I did
                                         
                                         recover from my eating disorder, I immediately gained 50 pounds in six months. And to be honest,
                                         
                                         I was still starving myself when I recovered in the beginning, the first three months of my
                                         
                                         recovery. I was still eating just an apple a day. And then
                                         
                                         like I would have like a bowl of vegetables at night and like maybe with some sriracha and like
                                         
                                         a drizzle of olive oil if things got like pretty crazy. But anyways, so I gained 50 pounds in six
                                         
                                         months and I was like, I know something's wrong with me. Like I just know something is wrong with me. I was
                                         
                                         asleep all day long. I was so mean to everyone. Like, and I was still eating such sparse amounts
                                         
    
                                         of food. Like my dad explains it. Like I was literally eating like a, like a baby bird.
                                         
                                         Like I was unwell, but I just kept gaining weight. That was really obviously not even on,
                                         
                                         you know, it's hard on anyone, but then like
                                         
                                         to be in recovery from my eating disorder, to be gaining 50 pounds so rapidly. And I think that
                                         
                                         this is a reason why so many girls don't want to get the help and they don't want to get better
                                         
                                         because the treatment centers misinform you about the steps to take to heal. And I think I was so nervous about healing because I thought
                                         
                                         there would be like an IV in my arm of like just nutrients or like I'd have to stuff my face with
                                         
                                         a bag of Cheetos like every two hours. And like I was just freaking out about it. But it's not
                                         
    
                                         about that. It's just about like you have to get your body out of this fight or flight mode. Otherwise it's just going to get so bad.
                                         
                                         And what I just like really want to aim to inform people is like the longer you're anorexic,
                                         
                                         the more detrimental effects it's going to actually have on your body. And another thing,
                                         
                                         like I said, like I wish I had come out about my experience when I was done having it, because I
                                         
                                         think I would have chosen a lot of different words and I would have said different things because I have suffered so many
                                         
                                         environmental issues in my body now between my hormone imbalance, between my thyroid being
                                         
                                         inflamed constantly, between my Hashimoto's, between my depression and anxiety that I now have.
                                         
                                         Nobody needs to go through that. It is just a
                                         
    
                                         waste of time and a waste of two pills every morning. Can we discuss Glossier? What a fun
                                         
                                         subject. You guys know about Glossier. It is all over social media. You've seen it everywhere.
                                         
                                         They have skincare products. They have makeup
                                         
                                         products, body care products, and fragrance. They are the ones that I feel like popularized the
                                         
                                         glowy, dewy skin look. They are so community-driven, which I love. So they're constantly having
                                         
                                         conversations via social with their community about the best ingredients, techniques, and dream
                                         
                                         products. The result is products that are inspired by real routines. I love that. So if I were to pick one skincare product by Glossier,
                                         
                                         I definitely would pick their Future Dew. I think it's super bouncy on the skin. It lays right.
                                         
    
                                         Makeup lays nice over it. And the bottle's beautiful. It looks so cute on your vanity.
                                         
                                         You want it on your Instagram. But more importantly, it works. So that's the skincare product I would check out. But they also have an Invisible Shield,
                                         
                                         Bubble Wrap, or the Supers. The Supers are very popular as well. They have Bounce,
                                         
                                         Glow, or Pure. And then, of course, they have makeup. You guys know this. They have Gen G,
                                         
                                         Lip Gloss, and Cloud Paint. Out of all those, I am recommending the Cloud Paint. You can't go wrong.
                                         
                                         One thing I really like about Glossier,
                                         
                                         just from a branding perspective, is it's very thoughtful product design. So their hand cream
                                         
                                         is like the cutest thing you've ever seen. It's like the squeezable pod that fits in the palm of
                                         
    
                                         your hand and you want to carry it around. I never would think I would want to carry around a hand
                                         
                                         cream, but I do with Glossier. Glossier believes beauty starts with skin first, makeup second. I
                                         
                                         agree. So you're going to get that glowy dewy look for yourself by visiting Glossier. Glossier believes beauty starts with skin first, makeup second. I agree.
                                         
                                         So you're going to get that glowy dewy look for yourself by visiting glossier.com
                                         
                                         slash podcast slash skinny. Plus all new customers will get 10% off their first order on glossier.com
                                         
                                         slash podcast slash skinny. That's G-L-O-S-S-I-E-R.com slash podcast slash skinny.
                                         
                                         Check out the superdew. Check out the cloud paint. You can't go
                                         
                                         wrong. So you said that you were gaining 50 pounds and your dad didn't understand. Was that from your
                                         
    
                                         thyroid? I just got diagnosed with low thyroid. Is that what you have? Is Hashimoto's low thyroid?
                                         
                                         Yeah. Okay. So basically basically I just remember working out,
                                         
                                         eating like I did when I was anorexic, not allowing myself to heal because I was like
                                         
                                         gaining even more weight than I had ever gained in my life. And then I just remember one day I
                                         
                                         was like breaking down and I was laying down on my parents' kitchen counter and I was like,
                                         
                                         something's wrong. Something's wrong with me. I know something is wrong. You need to take me to a doctor. And my mom was like, no,
                                         
                                         you're fine. I just think that, you know, you have a new boyfriend. I was dating this guy at the time
                                         
                                         and she was like, you have a new boyfriend. Maybe you're happy and you're like eating more than you
                                         
    
                                         think you really are. Or maybe you're just like not really getting enough physical exercise, which you know what is valid because in my family, we do have to exercise.
                                         
                                         We don't have the most incredible metabolisms. It's kind of like a thing that we have to exercise.
                                         
                                         So my parents' first thought was, okay, maybe like, you know, you're not eating right for your
                                         
                                         body or you're not exercising enough. So I tried doing all those things for a little bit, still nothing. I'm just like gaining
                                         
                                         and gaining and gaining. And that I think was so hard being in the public eye, gaining weight
                                         
                                         at such a young age. Like that's just so fucked up. Like I hated that so much. And then I went
                                         
                                         to a doctor and he was like, whoa, like your levels are crazy.
                                         
                                         And then told me that it was caused from my eating disorder.
                                         
    
                                         But enough about eating disorders.
                                         
                                         There's more things to talk about.
                                         
                                         We can talk about more things than eating disorders.
                                         
                                         I just have one question about thyroid.
                                         
                                         Did you go to a hormone specialist or a doctor? Because I have been told that going to a hormone specialist is way more important.
                                         
                                         No, no, no.
                                         
                                         You need to go to my endocrinologist.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
    
                                         The reason I'm so obsessed with him
                                         
                                         is because there are so many endocrinologists
                                         
                                         where they take your lab results and they look at them
                                         
                                         and then they're like,
                                         
                                         okay, well, you have enough T3, you have enough T4.
                                         
                                         You shouldn't really be having these symptoms.
                                         
                                         So I'm going to keep you off of medication.
                                         
                                         And I'm not the biggest believer in medication. I truly am not. But my thyroid doctor sits there for an hour
                                         
    
                                         with you. He listens, he talks to you, he takes notes, he looks at your lab results and then he's
                                         
                                         like, but how are you feeling? And then you explain how you've been feeling. If you're lethargic,
                                         
                                         blah, blah, blah, X, Y, and Z. Then he's like, okay, well, this is what we're going to do. Or if your lab results don't really correspond with your symptoms,
                                         
                                         who cares about the lab results? It's really about how you feel and what's going on.
                                         
                                         How long did it take for you to feel better? Four months.
                                         
                                         Okay. Because I'm on month two and I was eating enough, but not a ton and exercising every day. And the weight was not coming off.
                                         
                                         You know what I will say? I've noticed I haven't eaten an egg in almost three years.
                                         
                                         I heard that's not good for your thyroid. I love eggs.
                                         
    
                                         I know. But I really do think it's like, but there's obviously like no scientific evidence
                                         
                                         to back that. So I can't can't really you know push that a
                                         
                                         lot but eggs really destroy my body like not only medical medium says that yeah yeah yeah not only
                                         
                                         do they make me have strep throat in random places of my body which i feel like we can get into what
                                         
                                         do you mean strep what is that what is that? Hold on. You got to explain that. Okay.
                                         
                                         So I was at Coachella one year and I had a nipple piercing.
                                         
                                         I heard that fucking hurts.
                                         
                                         Oh, it really does.
                                         
    
                                         It got caught in a door once.
                                         
                                         It was horrible.
                                         
                                         I know.
                                         
                                         It was horrible.
                                         
                                         Oh my God.
                                         
                                         So I'm at Coachella.
                                         
                                         I'm at Erica Jane's Moschino party and I'm like living my best life with my friends.
                                         
                                         Another low profile character.
                                         
    
                                         Yep.
                                         
                                         And there's like a balcony without a railing.
                                         
                                         And this is all very important.
                                         
                                         There's a balcony without a railing.
                                         
                                         And I really want this like fried chicken sandwich that's being passed around.
                                         
                                         So I'm like going to grab the fried chicken sandwich.
                                         
                                         And then someone pushes me. And I'm at the side of the balcony. And all there is, is like the railing
                                         
                                         is like a hedge that is like not actually there. And I'm like, I'm like high up, like say this is
                                         
    
                                         the ground and this is like the ledge, like I'm here. And there's just like ground here, like
                                         
                                         nothing to stop me or save me. So anyways, I get pushed. My leg like falls in the crack. And then my friend
                                         
                                         grabs me like this. And then like my nipple piercing, like just, you know, gets caught,
                                         
                                         but I don't feel it. And I'm like, you know, it's fine. Like, I don't know why I didn't feel it. I
                                         
                                         wasn't on drugs, but like, I just didn't feel it. I was eating so many eggs that weekend. Like every
                                         
                                         morning I would wake up and have eggs. Cause like eggs is such an easy breakfast to have before like going to rage. You know what I mean? Like
                                         
                                         just have my eggs. So then I get home and I'm like, mom, like, oh my God, I really don't feel
                                         
                                         well. And she's like, well, you went to Coachella, so you have to go to school. Sorry. And I'm like,
                                         
    
                                         no, mom, like I really don't feel well. So honestly, I don't even think I've ever done that. So I'm sitting
                                         
                                         in my class, my homeschool class, and it literally looks like this. And I'm sitting there and I'm
                                         
                                         like, woof, it's hot in here. And like, it was notorious for being very cold in this place. And
                                         
                                         I'm like, woof, it's really hot in here. And I'm like literally about to faint. And my teacher's
                                         
                                         like, what's wrong with you? And I'm like, I don't know. It's really hot in here. I had an 104 fever.
                                         
                                         104.
                                         
                                         My left boob was out to here.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
    
                                         I was 16 and had mastitis, whatever the heck that is.
                                         
                                         Oh, man.
                                         
                                         I heard that's the worst.
                                         
                                         Oh, my gosh.
                                         
                                         I will literally show you a photo of my boob after. It was the worst thing I've ever been through.
                                         
                                         I went to the emergency room.
                                         
                                         They told me, you have a kidney infection. Oh, because your nipple emergency room. They told me, you have a kidney infection.
                                         
                                         Oh, because your nipple got infected?
                                         
    
                                         No, I didn't have a kidney infection.
                                         
                                         I had to go to Cedars special disease doctor.
                                         
                                         And he was like, yeah, like you have strep in your left breast.
                                         
                                         So anyways, when I eat eggs, I either get strep throughout
                                         
                                         or I get strep in parts of my body.
                                         
                                         Also, I was 12 hours away from
                                         
                                         going sepsis. So like I will never- Wait, hold on. Did I miss something? Because did your nipple
                                         
                                         get torn from the nipple ring? Is that why you got infected or the eggs did it? No, I missed
                                         
    
                                         something. Okay. The nipple piercing being pulled caused a small abrasion in my body. I already had
                                         
                                         the strep living in my system. And then it went to that part of my body because it was an open wound.
                                         
                                         Now, when I tell you like my boobs were this big.
                                         
                                         No, it's a real thing.
                                         
                                         And like I didn't just get those down like naturally.
                                         
                                         Like I'm not going to lie.
                                         
                                         I've never talked about this.
                                         
                                         But like I had to fully get surgery.
                                         
    
                                         No, listen.
                                         
                                         What?
                                         
                                         That could have killed you because. I've never talked about that. It could have killed you. How do you get surgery though? I had to fully get surgery. No, listen. What? That could have killed you because-
                                         
                                         I've never talked about that.
                                         
                                         It could have killed you.
                                         
                                         How do you get surgery though?
                                         
                                         I had to get a breast reduction.
                                         
                                         No, Lauren, it could kill you because this scar on my-
                                         
    
                                         Wait, hold on.
                                         
                                         I've never said anything like, I've never said that.
                                         
                                         And I think my mom's going to kill me, but I've never said that.
                                         
                                         But it's because you had the infection and it was close to your heart.
                                         
                                         I had this scar right here on my hand when I was young and dumb.
                                         
                                         Oh my God.
                                         
                                         You can't compare the scar on your hand to this.
                                         
                                         Are you fucking kidding me? Yes, you can. I will compare it. Because what happened was I was young and dumb. Oh my God. You can't compare the scar on your hand to this. Are you fucking kidding? Yes, you can. I will compare it. Because what happened
                                         
    
                                         was I was young and dumb and it was just being a dumb kid and it got infected. But I lied to my
                                         
                                         parents. I didn't want to tell them how I did it. I was being stupid. And so like, okay, whatever,
                                         
                                         just stitch it up. And it got infected. The same exact thing happened. It blew up like a watermelon
                                         
                                         and I was like one day away from the guy being like, yo. Hold on. My
                                         
                                         doctor told me I was going to die in 12 hours. I was like, what? This is different though. She had
                                         
                                         to actually get surgery. No, but like it's similar. I had to get the stuff one more day if I would
                                         
                                         have waited. Did you have to get IV drips? Yeah, I had to get all the IV stuff. They had to stab
                                         
                                         the hand with like three needles to get the infection. Horrible. It moves up your body.
                                         
    
                                         What's scary for you is that was so close to your heart. And it was my left boob. Yeah,
                                         
                                         if it gets your heart, it kills you. That's why, listen, I know this. I'm not just telling
                                         
                                         an irrelevant story about me. Wait, so they had to drain it? I don't get what they had to do.
                                         
                                         Yeah. You have to get all the infection. Listen, back in the day. The infection was still there.
                                         
                                         If this was 1860, she would have been dead. And it made my boobs so uneven. Like this boob was
                                         
                                         this big and then this boob was this big. And then it was like, oh my God, like, am I really going to have to live the rest of my life with my left boob significantly this big and then this boob was this big and then it was like oh my god like am
                                         
                                         i really gonna have to live the rest of my life with my left boob significantly larger than my
                                         
                                         my right boob did they draw the circle around the red area yeah yeah see learn i know what i'm
                                         
    
                                         talking about oh my god i can't believe you're comparing your they measured it by centimeters
                                         
                                         and it's spreading and spreading it is honestly that is some of the worst pain ever because it's
                                         
                                         like almost like your skin is trying to explode. It's hot and it's veiny.
                                         
                                         You get fever.
                                         
                                         You're sweating.
                                         
                                         I've never in my whole entire life.
                                         
                                         So this is why I do not eat eggs.
                                         
                                         You should try it.
                                         
    
                                         Maybe.
                                         
                                         Also, I was born with Epstein-Barr and that like has the strep.
                                         
                                         I need to know if I have that.
                                         
                                         They just told me I have low thyroid.
                                         
                                         How did I find out?
                                         
                                         Did you get delirious?
                                         
                                         Were you delirious?
                                         
                                         I'm going to go to your endocrinologist.
                                         
    
                                         Oh my God, was I delirious?
                                         
                                         Seriously, did you get delirious?
                                         
                                         I'm writing this down.
                                         
                                         His name is Benjamin Cohan.
                                         
                                         Wait, I think my friend from Pilates told me about him.
                                         
                                         I've heard he's the best.
                                         
                                         The best?
                                         
                                         I've actually heard it before.
                                         
    
                                         I don't even remember how I found him,
                                         
                                         but I am so glad I did.
                                         
                                         Like, so lucky. Because I listen to all your ads, obviously remember how I found him but I am so glad I did like so lucky
                                         
                                         because I listened to all your ads obviously because I listened to your podcast and what is
                                         
                                         that ad that's like called like a name of like a branch or a bush or something and it's like
                                         
                                         time with your doctor oh parsley health parsley health parsley health everybody I remembered it
                                         
                                         with like a branch affiliated what's the discount's the discount code? Parsley Health. Give him a free spot.
                                         
                                         His promo code is skinny.
                                         
    
                                         Okay, wait, but you get so much more time with your doctor.
                                         
                                         A year is what you were saying.
                                         
                                         But this doctor, I get so much time with him every single time.
                                         
                                         I just, I feel so blessed after listening to your Parsley Health.
                                         
                                         I didn't realize this is not normal.
                                         
                                         So it took you four months to feel better?
                                         
                                         Four months to feel better.
                                         
                                         I started losing.
                                         
    
                                         You better get your agent involved.
                                         
                                         Parsley better pay I started losing. You better get your agent involved. They're going to, they better pay you. I started losing weight after like four months and I could really notice in my ankles, like my ankles were this round. They had no
                                         
                                         like definition to them. And my sister will still like, still make fun of me. She's like,
                                         
                                         why did you ever care about what your ankles looked like and i'm like you don't realize it until you actually have
                                         
                                         cankles that like your ankles have no definition i remember i was doing a photo shoot and i was on
                                         
                                         set and i heard them talking on my ankles and i was like wait you're lying like i thought i was
                                         
                                         the only one that saw this and they're like we need to add more definition in our ankles and i
                                         
                                         was like i am out like jesus i think oh my god I've talked about this and I'm probably a weird
                                         
    
                                         character to talk about so I think it's like one of the hardest things you can do and there's a lot
                                         
                                         of people like you know people think modeling is easy but you're just sitting there for hours on
                                         
                                         end with all these people dissecting your body I can barely take a Christmas photo you know what
                                         
                                         I mean like I fucking lose it when I consider myself like a someone that's capable I can't do
                                         
                                         pictures it's not just I can't either modeling modeling is so just hard though because you have to stand there it's hard because
                                         
                                         you have to have the right standing there is nothing standing there's nothing it's the right
                                         
                                         if my daughter was ever doing pictures and like i heard some asshole talk about the ankles i'd
                                         
                                         probably go get in a fistfight i'd be like hey you you're not gonna be on set like hey you jim
                                         
    
                                         you quit that shit she's done with you and she's like 15. No, no, no.
                                         
                                         I'll be there.
                                         
                                         I'm going to be like.
                                         
                                         Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                         That's so true.
                                         
                                         I did not like my dad when I was 15.
                                         
                                         I'm going to chain myself to her and just like follow her around.
                                         
                                         I really didn't.
                                         
    
                                         I want to know more about your modeling career.
                                         
                                         Are you still doing it?
                                         
                                         What's going on with that?
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         So I think modeling is like, do you ever think about like, you know what?
                                         
                                         If I were to die tomorrow, what would make me happier?
                                         
                                         If I were to die in a year, what do I need to accomplish to make me happy?
                                         
                                         For me, that is modeling.
                                         
    
                                         I don't know why I have always had this just like fascination with it.
                                         
                                         And for me, it's not about the money.
                                         
                                         It's very much not about the followers, not about the clout, not about anything besides the fact
                                         
                                         that I have always been so artistic and I have never been able to express that because I'm so
                                         
                                         shitty at drawing. I'm so bad at editing things. Like I'm so bad at photography. I hadn't ever
                                         
                                         found like my outlet until when I was like 13, I finally did. And I was like, wow, like I really enjoy this form of self-expression.
                                         
                                         But I think what makes me so angry is like this culture of Instagram models and like,
                                         
                                         you know, all these things.
                                         
    
                                         And now it's just like all the people that actually want and are passionate about the
                                         
                                         art of, you know, the clothing, the art of the designer and the
                                         
                                         history of the clothing and the designer. Like I remember, I think I was 13 and my mom's friend
                                         
                                         from Hermes, his name's Michael in Paris took us to like the top of the first Hermes store in Paris.
                                         
                                         And like, we got to see where the Hermes family had picnics and we got to see,
                                         
                                         you know, everything from the horse saddles that inspired the bags and the leather and certain jewelry to like the dog collars that inspired the bracelets and things like that.
                                         
                                         And I just was so fascinated by that.
                                         
                                         I knew that I didn't want to design clothes, but it just really, really grew such a huge appreciation that I was like, I need to do this. Like, I want to be a part of
                                         
    
                                         this space because I don't feel like, like there's not that much. I feel like when you think about
                                         
                                         Hermes or when you think about fashion, these things like you are, at least I just affiliated
                                         
                                         it with wealthy people. I didn't affiliate it with the history that was actually behind the
                                         
                                         family and the brand itself. And, you you know things that went down during the war
                                         
                                         that would certain wars that would you know depict what they designed or influence these things and
                                         
                                         I just think it's so fascinating that we still have so many of these brands who now have moved
                                         
                                         on to different designers because a lot of the designers the original designers have passed and
                                         
                                         I don't know what it is but it's like I I have to do it. You know, I think that it's your parents are both performers.
                                         
    
                                         Yes, I think so, too. And I was always like, I'm not acting like, sorry, but there's no way. Like
                                         
                                         I always pushed that away. I was like, I'm never acting. My parents forced me to go to this acting
                                         
                                         school called called Yotta and sorry, Yotta, but I hated you. And like, I really did so much.
                                         
                                         That was horrible. And it gave me so much anxiety. And I was like, no, I'm not doing this. And then
                                         
                                         growing up, everyone would say, do you want to be in the industry? And I'm like, no, like,
                                         
                                         but I didn't know what I wanted to be. I just knew that like, I either wanted to be a therapist or
                                         
                                         like I wanted to do something else that was artistic. So you moved to New York and you went to New York to model.
                                         
                                         No, I moved to New York because my dad went to Yale.
                                         
    
                                         My brother went to Princeton.
                                         
                                         My dad's family went to Stanford.
                                         
                                         Wow.
                                         
                                         I went to New York because-
                                         
                                         What a bunch of dummies.
                                         
                                         I know, they're so stupid.
                                         
                                         I went to New York because I was like,
                                         
                                         I, you know, like I just gotta be the kid that gets,
                                         
    
                                         you know, goes to school. My dad was always, I went on my first tour to Yale when I was like, I, you know, like, I just got to be the kid that gets, you know, goes to school.
                                         
                                         Like my dad was always, I went on my first tour to Yale when I was 11. I met the Dean of Yale.
                                         
                                         Okay. 11. And here I am like, I'm so not into school. Like, no, no, and no. And so anyways,
                                         
                                         my sister got into NYU. She moved to New York. Like my family, my parents were so excited. Like,
                                         
                                         oh my God, Delilah's going to NYU. This is crazy. Like my family, my parents were so excited. Like, oh my God,
                                         
                                         Delilah's going to NYU. This is crazy. Like the girl had D's in high school. Like we're,
                                         
                                         you know, we're surprised. But anyways, and she did it herself. She like cleaned her act up and was just like, you know, and she studied for the SATs like no tomorrow. And I watched her like
                                         
                                         kill herself over it. So I was like, okay, I'm not going to take the SATs, but I will apply to the new school because like that's,
                                         
    
                                         that was always like my dream school. And I could study psychology and at the same time,
                                         
                                         take classes at Parsons for fashion, blah, blah, blah. I get there and like, it's great and all,
                                         
                                         but I'm in the midst of fashion week. I have a psych, I have a psych paper due. I have to turn in so much homework for like my English class. I have
                                         
                                         to read and write like a five page essay. And like I am in the middle of fashion week, meaning I'm
                                         
                                         waking up at 7 a.m. and I'm going to bed at three in the morning. Like I literally eat. I'm going to
                                         
                                         eat my dinner at one in the morning and then I'm going to get in bed completely exhausted,
                                         
                                         exhausted after wiping my makeup off for 30 minutes in my bathroom, then getting in the shower. Anyways,
                                         
                                         it just really wasn't manageable. And then I would wake up and then I'd be like, oh my God.
                                         
    
                                         And I think I sort of had this cloud of like, you know what? Like maybe I don't need to do this,
                                         
                                         come over me. And it wasn't like I ever felt superior because like
                                         
                                         I never feel better than people because we're all equal but it was more I just thought do I really
                                         
                                         need to be investing my time so I need to be spending my own money on this school thing if
                                         
                                         like I don't I never saw myself graduating too I was like I'm gonna go for my parents sake make
                                         
                                         them happy but like I'm not doing the full four years I always knew that so then I was like, I'm going to go for my parents sake, make them happy. But like, I'm not doing the full four years. I always knew that. So then I was just kind of like, what's the point though?
                                         
                                         I do regret moving back. I really couldn't handle it. I was in a really deep, dark place in my life.
                                         
                                         And I didn't realize that right after I moved home, I got diagnosed with like depression and
                                         
    
                                         anxiety. And I went on Lexapro, which has just like changed my life so, so much. And I was super anti antidepressants for a long time. But then I learned about some
                                         
                                         cool things in my psych class for the month that I was there. And then I was open to them and
                                         
                                         they've changed my life. Now I could one year later, I could for sure see myself being there
                                         
                                         again. But even with everything that's going on in the world with coronavirus, you wish that you
                                         
                                         were back there. No, no, no, no, no. If if the world if the world was back to normal it's been a year since i tried i was most
                                         
                                         definitely not ready since then i've lived on my own twice i lived at the aka which is right there
                                         
                                         kind of sad miss it there and um is that the one with the big like balcony by equinox yeah it's
                                         
                                         well it's like that blue one over there that like has the weird windows and is the weird shape you know that looks anyway yeah it was really nice you know
                                         
    
                                         i was living a luxurious life and then i was like you know probably shouldn't be paying for this
                                         
                                         like this is a lot of money for nothing so then i moved in with my sister but anyways i i just
                                         
                                         i was sitting there in my new apartment in new york that i was so blessed to have just
                                         
                                         having a panic attack.
                                         
                                         Like, oh, my God, I'm growing up.
                                         
                                         Why am I living alone?
                                         
                                         Oh, my God.
                                         
                                         Like, just freaking out.
                                         
    
                                         And now, like, today I was having a shower, getting ready to come here.
                                         
                                         And I was thinking because I got, like, a memory on my Snapchat of, like, one year ago today I was in New York.
                                         
                                         And I was like, ew, like, why did I think all these things?
                                         
                                         Like, why was I so stressed out about growing up?
                                         
                                         Like, no, I was, like, unwell.
                                         
                                         That's maybe because you now are on the Lexpro and you have clarity and you can look back on it.
                                         
                                         Yeah. But I just think it was such a big jump for me to like, not only move out of my parents'
                                         
                                         house, but like move out of, you know, the state that I've been living in my whole entire life and
                                         
    
                                         just like start a new life. Like, oh, I didn't know. Are your parents happy that you're back
                                         
                                         here? Very happy. And they were so
                                         
                                         supportive. I mean, I thought my dad, the Yale guy, you know, was going to be like,
                                         
                                         are you fucking getting me? Like, you've only been there for a month, blah, blah, blah. He was like,
                                         
                                         yeah, come home. Your dad seems so chill on the show. We need a little bit more hairy on the show.
                                         
                                         Can you push him in front of the camera? No, he won it he doesn't want to do it okay i i told you this earlier but did you know that your mother taught me how to give
                                         
                                         a blow job with the coin and she taught me and she taught my sister yes and yeah she honestly
                                         
                                         lauren you are not i don't think you need to teach that to i i honestly don't need to know
                                         
    
                                         tell out of 10 how good's my blowjob no i think it's a fucking i put the fucking ring
                                         
                                         on it it's true no should i thank your mom should i send her a thank you card the last time i gave
                                         
                                         you one you said are you the who lisa rena thank you so much let's sell lisa rena's book out so
                                         
                                         this is a vintage book from the 90s it's vintage i got it off amazon when i saw lisa rena back on
                                         
                                         the housewives i was like oh she has a book called like Renovation.
                                         
                                         Wait, this is from the 90s.
                                         
                                         Nice.
                                         
                                         Where it's from like 2004.
                                         
    
                                         Maybe 2004.
                                         
                                         Oh, it's from it's from a while ago.
                                         
                                         It's old.
                                         
                                         It's vintage.
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                         And your mom's on the cover like in her like hot workout wear.
                                         
                                         It's like purple, right?
                                         
                                         She's looking so hot.
                                         
    
                                         It's a blue background.
                                         
                                         She's like giving like a little shoulder tilt.
                                         
                                         And I was like, oh, I can't wait to get like all her fitness and diet diet secrets and then I want to blog about it because this is when I didn't have a
                                         
                                         podcast I want to blog about it on the skinny confidential I get the book and there's a whole
                                         
                                         chapter dedicated to blowjobs and I'm like getting out my fucking neon pink highlighter and it's like
                                         
                                         she's like I'm about to give you the tip to giving head and she's like the literal tip so what you
                                         
                                         want to do is the literal tip
                                         
                                         the coin stop stop stop and you guys have to pick up the book to read the rest what the coin is you
                                         
    
                                         really do the yeah i'm not going to tell you what the coin is you have to go read the book you know
                                         
                                         let's sell out the book this podcast is just full of resources oh yeah i feel like i'm doing the
                                         
                                         lord's work no she honestly should have thought through like where she kept her books i remember
                                         
                                         it was like one summer.
                                         
                                         We have a house in Canada on the lake and my sister comes in our room.
                                         
                                         She's like, Amelia, guess what I just found?
                                         
                                         And I'm like, I'm like, what?
                                         
                                         I don't know.
                                         
    
                                         Maybe I was like 10, right?
                                         
                                         That sounds about right.
                                         
                                         And Delilah's like 13.
                                         
                                         And she's like, guess what I just found?
                                         
                                         And I'm like, oh, God, I don't know.
                                         
                                         And she's like, want to just found and i'm like oh god i don't know and she's like
                                         
                                         you want to know how to give a blow job and i was like okay and she was like okay and then we start
                                         
                                         reading it and then we realize holy shit this is our mom telling how to give a blow job but my
                                         
    
                                         sister when she was 19 she was like yeah like i'm pretty sure she was like the blow job queen
                                         
                                         in high school sorry dad hope you're not listening um listen he put a ring on it you have to be good at giving a blowjob that's a that's
                                         
                                         a skill that I sharpen on a daily on a day-to-day basis see I'm just not really a sexual person I
                                         
                                         wish I was but I'm just not it probably has something to do with my hormone stuff and things
                                         
                                         like that I'm just like not but you have have a boyfriend. I do have a boyfriend. So how do you guys make it work? Is he more sexual than you are?
                                         
                                         Well, it's not that like one of us is more sexual than the other. I just feel like
                                         
                                         I don't need sex in my life. Like I'm not like I don't always crave it. And I'm not like,
                                         
                                         you know, the first one to make the move all the time, which is like the biggest thing we need.
                                         
    
                                         We always have to work on in our relationship is like i need to work on you know making the first move and i just lack that i don't know i just don't
                                         
                                         i think that's really self-aware no it is and i work on it all the time well i brought you
                                         
                                         coconut oil lube all over the table i want you to know this is his favorite thing in the whole
                                         
                                         entire world okay no this is all for you this is all for you i brought you all the coconut oil lube
                                         
                                         wait what's your boyfriend's name? What are these pink ones?
                                         
                                         Those are freshies.
                                         
                                         That's for after sex.
                                         
                                         You can clean up.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, you, him, whatever.
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                         His name's Mercer.
                                         
                                         Mercer?
                                         
                                         That's a cute name.
                                         
                                         I love him so much.
                                         
                                         He's so cute.
                                         
                                         Where did you guys meet?
                                         
    
                                         Tell us all the details.
                                         
                                         That is a cool name.
                                         
                                         It is, right?
                                         
                                         We met.
                                         
                                         I had just broken up with my former boyfriend and I was like ready to be an
                                         
                                         independent bitch. And then I just like was at my sister's apartment one day. She was out of town
                                         
                                         and I like had my, a few friends over and my, one of my best friends, Nick was like, I'm going to
                                         
                                         bring my friend Mercer over. And I was like, okay, like fine. Like we were literally just watching a
                                         
    
                                         movie. And then like, I don't know if you've ever had this feeling,
                                         
                                         but, like, when he walked in, I don't even think I, like, registered what he looked like. I was
                                         
                                         just, like, him. Like, that's the one. Like, I didn't even have a conversation with him or
                                         
                                         anything. It was almost, like, his energy and, like, his aura was just, like, affecting me.
                                         
                                         And I'm, like, not really one to say aura. i don't even think i've ever said that in my whole entire life but it really happened like i was like whoa
                                         
                                         then i like stalked him he's just like a normal kid he went to beverly very normal he has six
                                         
                                         siblings five siblings they own fat burger and um now johnny rockets which is dope for them
                                         
                                         and just like the most love johnny rockets great oh great we need to go it's gonna be good again Fatburger and now Johnny Rockets, which is dope for them.
                                         
    
                                         And just like the most- I love Johnny Rockets.
                                         
                                         Great milkshakes.
                                         
                                         Oh, great.
                                         
                                         We need to go to Johnny Rockets.
                                         
                                         It's going to be good again.
                                         
                                         They're going to get it.
                                         
                                         I love Johnny Rockets.
                                         
                                         Let's go there.
                                         
    
                                         Maybe Mercer will hook it up with a milkshake.
                                         
                                         Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                         You can afford a milkshake.
                                         
                                         Wait, also, did you know Fatburger has Craig's Vegan Milkshakes?
                                         
                                         I feel like you'd be interested in that.
                                         
                                         Oh, my God.
                                         
                                         Are you serious?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         Craig's is like doing all the strategic partnerships.
                                         
                                         That's so random.
                                         
                                         I think I said that same.
                                         
                                         I thought for a second.
                                         
                                         I think Lauren had that same aura.
                                         
                                         But then I was thinking maybe it was just your tits.
                                         
                                         Oh, you're saying I had a good aura when I walked in the room.
                                         
                                         I hit you in the face.
                                         
    
                                         And then I thought maybe it wasn't aura.
                                         
                                         Maybe it was just those cannons.
                                         
                                         Do you like having big boobs?
                                         
                                         Because I hated it.
                                         
                                         I have always had big boobs ever since I was little.
                                         
                                         But I wanted bigger ones. So I got implants at 18 and then really they were fine before.
                                         
                                         Literally the day I graduated the day I saved up all my money all through high school and the day
                                         
                                         I graduated, I'd be like, you know, like I knew. And then after I got them, I had to get them
                                         
    
                                         redone again. 10 years later. Do I like it? I don't. I think that eventually I will get them taken out and get fat from another area into my
                                         
                                         tits.
                                         
                                         That's like the new thing.
                                         
                                         Like, why not?
                                         
                                         But you know, when she got pregnant, it was out of control.
                                         
                                         I don't think they were that big when I got pregnant.
                                         
                                         I'm telling you, I was worried about myself.
                                         
                                         I was like, if one of these things hits me, I could be out cold.
                                         
    
                                         I didn't think they were that big.
                                         
                                         But that's also because you're wearing like the maternity bras right and you're like you don't like nursing someone needs
                                         
                                         to make like new bra well what do you mean i wear them every day a nursing bra yeah oh well this
                                         
                                         one's actually my skims one why but i like skims that's what i'm wearing that's what i'm oh michael's
                                         
                                         gonna pop a bone taylor are you okay taylor you have a pulse taylor's sweating back there no like i mean
                                         
                                         taylor's eyes are popping i'm literally wearing a sports bra honestly i'm really starstruck that
                                         
                                         taylor's in the room like i hear a lot about taylor taylor did you say hi hi taylor really
                                         
                                         let me tell you something i've been i mean it's it's an ongoing like probably beat to death joke
                                         
    
                                         on this i'm like why is the mic never on? This guy never has a mic.
                                         
                                         Of course you come on.
                                         
                                         And the mic is like.
                                         
                                         I just didn't know that you would have long hair, Taylor.
                                         
                                         He's been waiting to chime in.
                                         
                                         I haven't had a haircut in a while, but I'm sick of it.
                                         
                                         I just really didn't picture you like this.
                                         
                                         Do you like him with long hair?
                                         
    
                                         I don't know you otherwise, but I like it.
                                         
                                         Oh, she likes it.
                                         
                                         Oh, now he's never going to go.
                                         
                                         He's going to go out to his fucking asshole now.
                                         
                                         Maybe I'll keep it long. You you know i don't look good today he's texting his
                                         
                                         barber right now saying cancel the appointment he's so excited okay so a lot of girls wrote in
                                         
                                         about your beauty secrets let's start with your skin okay i'm on my period currently sorry for
                                         
                                         the tmi but when i'm on my period, I feel like because my thyroid, I don't
                                         
    
                                         know if you feel this, but because my hormones are already kind of fucked up, like I just feel
                                         
                                         like my period hits me hard, like really hard. That's why I was such a bitch last week. Yeah.
                                         
                                         Like it, it started to hit me really hard to the point where I had to up my Lexapro dose
                                         
                                         10 milligrams every time I'm on my period. Like it hits me hard, not only hormonally, but like really emotionally. Like when I'm like Mercer, I am so sorry. Like
                                         
                                         I just need four days, like give me four days and then I'm back. I always text him.
                                         
                                         That's what I'm going to say.
                                         
                                         I call him and I'm like, I'm really sorry. I'm going to be shitty for the next four days. Like
                                         
                                         I'm really sorry, but that's that. And then he's like, I know, I get it. Also, he has two sisters
                                         
    
                                         and like grew up right next to his sister.
                                         
                                         And him are 22 months apart.
                                         
                                         This motherfucker has two sisters.
                                         
                                         And he doesn't give me a fucking break.
                                         
                                         I don't know.
                                         
                                         Shit, let's go.
                                         
                                         You know what?
                                         
                                         Lauren does the opposite.
                                         
    
                                         She waits till day four.
                                         
                                         And I was like, oh, by the way, this whole time.
                                         
                                         Also, my dad grew up with just girls in the house.
                                         
                                         I mean, my sister, my mom, my fish, my dogs, just girls.
                                         
                                         And so he'd always be like, oh, guys,
                                         
                                         like you got to really explain to your boyfriends, like, you know, you know, you know, like that's
                                         
                                         about it. Like, you know, you got to really tell them. And he'd always be like, like when I was
                                         
                                         like maybe 15 and got my period, he was like, are you PMSing? Like, I know you are. And like,
                                         
    
                                         he just made it so normal. But at the same time was like, men don't know how to handle this. So like, we need to talk about this. Like, and he like really taught me how to
                                         
                                         like have that conversation. That's a good, actually a good, really, really smart tip.
                                         
                                         Well, because like, if you think about it, like no man ever is going to know not only what we feel
                                         
                                         when we have our periods. And I'm not like being like, you know, that crazy feminist right now,
                                         
                                         but like no guy knows what that feels like.
                                         
                                         I don't know about you, but I get the worst back cramps ever.
                                         
                                         Like, oh my God, they hurt so bad.
                                         
                                         I have to take prescription ibuprofen.
                                         
    
                                         It's like 600 milligrams.
                                         
                                         It's crazy.
                                         
                                         And all my, all the women in my family steal it from me.
                                         
                                         And I just get like, I'm the biggest bitch.
                                         
                                         No, they fucking take their dick out of their, out of the little, like, little hole where
                                         
                                         they unzip their fly.
                                         
                                         They piss around.
                                         
                                         They stick it back in there.
                                         
    
                                         They don't even wipe with toilet paper.
                                         
                                         They shove the balls back in and then they don't even wash their hands.
                                         
                                         Slap it under the water for a second.
                                         
                                         Wipe it on their jean and fucking close the door and touch the door handle.
                                         
                                         Let me tell you where you're wrong.
                                         
                                         You think that us guys go and pull our dick and balls out at the same time? You pull the whole thing out? Okay, wait, I have a question. Sure. I asked my boyfriend the door handle. Let me tell you where you're wrong. You think that us guys go and pull our dick and balls out? You pull the whole thing out?
                                         
                                         Okay, wait. I have a question. Sure. I asked my
                                         
                                         boyfriend the other day. We were talking about
                                         
    
                                         underwear. I just like love to sleep in his Calvin
                                         
                                         Clines and he got sick of it because I was stealing them.
                                         
                                         And I'm like... Boxers, briefs,
                                         
                                         whitey tighties? No.
                                         
                                         What's a whitey tightie? Like the little, the thong one.
                                         
                                         Not everyone wears the whitey tighties that you wear.
                                         
                                         No, sometimes they do.
                                         
                                         Wait, actually do you? I'm sorry. It's not my sister's way, but it does do. No, you wear sometimes I do wait actually do you I'm sorry
                                         
    
                                         mostly I'm the brief
                                         
                                         it's not my sister's way
                                         
                                         whitey tighties aren't thongs
                                         
                                         no you know what I'm talking about
                                         
                                         no but like you know like the closer
                                         
                                         the speedo one
                                         
                                         the speedo one
                                         
                                         yeah but like
                                         
    
                                         yeah yeah yeah yeah
                                         
                                         okay so no like I just like the baggy ones
                                         
                                         whatever but like
                                         
                                         the boxers
                                         
                                         yeah yeah yeah
                                         
                                         but he has like a little bit tighter ones
                                         
                                         like briefs
                                         
                                         yeah
                                         
    
                                         and I was stealing them
                                         
                                         but then I was like
                                         
                                         no I'm gonna order myself some boxers
                                         
                                         because like I like to sleep
                                         
                                         all loose and nice
                                         
                                         anyways he got mad at me
                                         
                                         for stealing them so anyways I was like so what is I'm going to order myself some boxers because I like to sleep loose and nice. Anyways, he got mad at me for stealing them.
                                         
                                         So anyways, I was like, so what is this hole?
                                         
    
                                         Like, well, let me explain it to you.
                                         
                                         Wait, wait.
                                         
                                         So then I'm like, what is this hole?
                                         
                                         Like, can you I go, can you please show me how you pee?
                                         
                                         And he's like, he's like, you want to see how I pee?
                                         
                                         Like what?
                                         
                                         And I was like, yeah.
                                         
                                         Like, can you pretend that you're like at your urinal right now and pee?
                                         
    
                                         They don't even use the
                                         
                                         hole well hold on it depends sometimes like these ones are button flies i'm gonna pay attention to
                                         
                                         this so you better say these are button flies so i gotta rip the whole thing out and let it go
                                         
                                         but i don't nobody pulls the balls out unless no but like do you really just like take your penis
                                         
                                         out of and just put it through the hole of your underwear flop it over the fucking no no it
                                         
                                         depends right depends what they say yeah you pull it through the hole of your underwear? I feel like you flop it over the fucking Calvin Klein. No, it depends. It depends what pants.
                                         
                                         That's what they say they do.
                                         
                                         You pull it through the hole sometimes.
                                         
    
                                         Sometimes you go over the hedge.
                                         
                                         Sometimes you go through.
                                         
                                         Okay, but what about the little zipper hole?
                                         
                                         Do you stick it out of there?
                                         
                                         What if you zip it back?
                                         
                                         That's why I'm not a big fan of the zipper.
                                         
                                         I'm a button fly guy because the zipper can get caught.
                                         
                                         You are a zipper.
                                         
    
                                         I've seen you with a zipper.
                                         
                                         I've seen your dick popping out of the zipper.
                                         
                                         That was something about Mary's moment.
                                         
                                         With the zipper though,
                                         
                                         I pulled the whole thing and let it go.
                                         
                                         But with the button fly, I can pull it through the hole.
                                         
                                         It's like, I don't need to see you pee.
                                         
                                         I don't need to see a limp tadpole.
                                         
    
                                         It's so horrible, isn't it?
                                         
                                         Every time boys take a nature, I'm like, bleh.
                                         
                                         I have to bring in three or four people to help me get it out.
                                         
                                         Oh, right, right, right.
                                         
                                         I forgot, I forgot.
                                         
                                         Taylor, Taylor, are you more of a boxer person?
                                         
                                         I've never used the hole ever.
                                         
                                         Right?
                                         
    
                                         I pulled the shaft out.
                                         
                                         But again, I don't pull the balls out.
                                         
                                         I want to tell you something.
                                         
                                         I think you're the only guy I've ever come across that uses the hole.
                                         
                                         No, you don't use the hole.
                                         
                                         And then the zipper, you don't.
                                         
                                         Then you open the whole thing.
                                         
                                         Can you give us a tutorial right now?
                                         
    
                                         The hole from your boxers.
                                         
                                         Oh, I thought you were talking about the jeans.
                                         
                                         No, because you know how women...
                                         
                                         Okay, I get what you're saying.
                                         
                                         Do you stick your penis out of the hole of the boxer? No, no, no. I can't wait for your... boxers oh i thought you're about the jeans no because like you know how women okay okay do you
                                         
                                         stick your penis out of the hole of the boxer no no i can't wait for your partners to hear this
                                         
                                         what do you do what do you hold on i want everyone to listen so i sometimes i open the top
                                         
                                         and then i flop it out from the top over the box okay but here's my thing i thought you're
                                         
    
                                         talking about you guys don't use toilet paper you're all gonna say you do you fucking fling
                                         
                                         it back wait can we talk about the drips of pee that happened so people don't use toilet paper, you're all going to say you do. You fucking fling it back in. Wait, can we talk about the drips of pee that happen?
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         People have not mastered the shake.
                                         
                                         You got to get the shake.
                                         
                                         Oh, the shake is even grosser.
                                         
                                         I'm like literal projectile vomiting.
                                         
                                         Don't come near me with your fucking penis for like a week.
                                         
    
                                         But listen, they don't have toilet paper at the urinal.
                                         
                                         What do you mean?
                                         
                                         Oh, this is true.
                                         
                                         You think there's a toilet paper thing at the urinal?
                                         
                                         So you guys all shake your fucking piss against the urinal and you all just have shaked piss
                                         
                                         you guys are spreading coronavirus yeah but also like is it normal for a guy to use a urinal because
                                         
                                         i asked my boyfriend too like yes do you just stand next to someone and just like yeah it's a
                                         
                                         little it's like i would look i would look i'm not any girl would look do you look um listen i know
                                         
    
                                         it's a it's a like uh it's a like a known uh what am look do you look listen it's a like it's a
                                         
                                         like a known
                                         
                                         what am I
                                         
                                         what's the word I'm looking for
                                         
                                         it's like a known rule
                                         
                                         like you don't look
                                         
                                         you don't look
                                         
                                         but you've looked
                                         
    
                                         like you've copied
                                         
                                         no but like guys
                                         
                                         don't like take showers together
                                         
                                         or go pee together
                                         
                                         so we have to remember that
                                         
                                         I mean listen
                                         
                                         like I don't want to speak for
                                         
                                         I don't know
                                         
    
                                         I feel Taylor
                                         
                                         used to do circle jerk
                                         
                                         no I've honestly never
                                         
                                         never
                                         
                                         you've for sure
                                         
                                         done a fucking circle jerk
                                         
                                         here's how it works
                                         
                                         Taylor and I both went in there
                                         
    
                                         at the same time
                                         
                                         yeah
                                         
                                         you keep eyes straight ahead
                                         
                                         straight ahead
                                         
                                         Taylor's eyes are all over the place I don't buy it no I honestly I swear to God you don't swivel around Taylor and I both went in there at the same time. Yeah. You keep eyes straight ahead.
                                         
                                         Taylor's eyes are all over the place.
                                         
                                         I don't buy it.
                                         
                                         No, I honestly, I swear to God. You don't swivel around.
                                         
    
                                         Because people look at you like,
                                         
                                         what would happen if you did swivel around?
                                         
                                         Would you get like beat up?
                                         
                                         Well, I don't, I think it depends who it is.
                                         
                                         If it's some perv, you might get beat.
                                         
                                         How do you know these rules?
                                         
                                         It's unspoken rules.
                                         
                                         It is for men.
                                         
    
                                         Like men aren't like, oh my God,
                                         
                                         like we need to go to the bathroom.
                                         
                                         Like we come to the bathroom.
                                         
                                         If I went in and there was some stranger and I was just like, hey, buddy.
                                         
                                         I just can't believe that you guys are all in the urinal shaking off your pee.
                                         
                                         We're helicoptering.
                                         
                                         That is not a kind of torture.
                                         
                                         And then you guys think that you don't have to wash your hands.
                                         
    
                                         No, I wash the hands.
                                         
                                         You wash them every time.
                                         
                                         I wash the hands too.
                                         
                                         Taylor is such a liar.
                                         
                                         No, because it's like, you know, when you think about it,
                                         
                                         men actually have to touch
                                         
                                         you know, their things to pee.
                                         
                                         Women, all we do is take the toilet paper and wipe.
                                         
    
                                         They're actually touching something. You're touching
                                         
                                         your balls and your penis. Well, sometimes
                                         
                                         if you get a good flop, you can just flip it over
                                         
                                         and you don't have to touch anything. You just let it hang down. Just when
                                         
                                         you guys think that you weren't going to learn
                                         
                                         every single thing on the skinny confidential
                                         
                                         him and her, surprise you are.
                                         
                                         Now you know how guys piss
                                         
    
                                         you know what i think about oh what do you think about like like we're sitting here like sometimes
                                         
                                         these things get picked up by publications like imagine if they just picked up like hey this guy
                                         
                                         do they really he's just gonna flop it over the thing oh my god okay wait i need to check my notes
                                         
                                         while you're asking a question i'm sure that i'm hitting your notes was this you can check
                                         
                                         this was number one and it's crossed off now. Okay.
                                         
                                         I'm glad we got that. We are so good with your answer.
                                         
                                         Anything else you guys want to know before we move on?
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
    
                                         So I want to know your skin tips because we started getting on at four skin tips and we
                                         
                                         don't need to know about four skin tips.
                                         
                                         That was really good.
                                         
                                         We need to know about your skin tips.
                                         
                                         Wow.
                                         
                                         What a transition.
                                         
                                         That was really good.
                                         
                                         I swear by keeping it simple.
                                         
    
                                         When I was 12, I had like really bad like bumps on my forehead.
                                         
                                         I wouldn't call it cystic acne.
                                         
                                         Bumps on my forehead, bumps on my chest, bumps on my back until I was like 16 and then went
                                         
                                         to Coachella.
                                         
                                         Everything good happens at Coachella for me clearly.
                                         
                                         Went to Coachella and got like the
                                         
                                         worst breakout of my whole entire life on my chest and on my back. I wouldn't go on set for so long.
                                         
                                         I was so self-conscious. I would literally cry myself to sleep. Like when I say bumps,
                                         
    
                                         I literally mean like thousands of bumps down my back, down my chest. Like why? We didn't know.
                                         
                                         And I was always super lucky to like
                                         
                                         not have acne on my face. And the only times I really get that acne is like altitude or hormones
                                         
                                         or if I'm like using a face wash that my skin is too sensitive for. So yeah, crazy bumps. And I
                                         
                                         thought it was the end of the world. Like I thought I was going to
                                         
                                         die like this. And I was so depressed and I had never really truly grasped how acne can like make
                                         
                                         you depressed because I just never had it. So anyways, that happened. Went back to my friendly
                                         
                                         man at Cedars-Sinai special disease control situation. He gave me this really retro wash to use. It
                                         
    
                                         didn't work at all. So after multiple visits at the doctor, I started washing my chest and back
                                         
                                         with Necessaire body wash. I love that body wash. Eucalyptus. Cleared my whole entire skin. And I
                                         
                                         always praise them. I don't know what's in your body wash
                                         
                                         or what's not in it, but it literally changed my life. Necessary. You need to sponsor. No,
                                         
                                         it changed my whole entire life from the body scrubs to the lotion, to the body wash,
                                         
                                         to literally everything. And then like, there's a brand that you can get from Amazon, like
                                         
                                         necessary takes a little bit longer to come. And like, I feel like I have to really plan it
                                         
                                         out. Like when my bottle is going to be done, there's this brand called native. I use their
                                         
    
                                         deodorant. It's like the only healthy deodorant that works on me. I know you have your ginger
                                         
                                         one, but I don't know how I feel about a ginger deodorant. It's so good. I don't know. I'll have
                                         
                                         to smell it. Mine is coconut vanilla, but anyways, native brand also works pretty well because I find with me, I had to eliminate sulfates and
                                         
                                         parabens. I don't really even know what a sulfate and paraben is. I just know that my skin doesn't
                                         
                                         like them. And then I use Biologic Recherche. I'm not going to pretend to speak French.
                                         
                                         Wait, is that the one that has the P50? Yeah. Yeah, I like that brand a lot.
                                         
                                         So I use Let You.
                                         
                                         I use Let EV.
                                         
    
                                         These are all face washes.
                                         
                                         And I use Let VIP 02.
                                         
                                         I use all those face washes and I alternate.
                                         
                                         The Let You is super like dense and creamy.
                                         
                                         And what it is, is like, this is scary, but it's kind of oil-based.
                                         
                                         And just to give you a little background of how we found this brand,
                                         
                                         my sister Delilah is actually on Accutane because she has really bad cystic acne.
                                         
                                         And I'm kind of afraid that I'm getting it now too
                                         
    
                                         because I've never really had like this situation.
                                         
                                         You do not have –
                                         
                                         No, I do.
                                         
                                         And then there's one between my eyebrows.
                                         
                                         And like I just don't know how to handle it when it happens.
                                         
                                         And like I don't have the right concealer.
                                         
                                         And like I'm sitting there in my bathroom today.
                                         
                                         And I'm like, oh, my God. Like what am I supposed to do? What concealer are you
                                         
    
                                         wearing right at this moment? I'm wearing Dior backstage. Okay. I don't know. And then I'm
                                         
                                         wearing Ilya on top of that. And then you said you would talk about your brows. Okay. And the
                                         
                                         lamination. I wanted to get my brows laminated. Why don't you like it? Okay. Wait, let me show
                                         
                                         you what I use. I carry it with me because my brows are so insane. I wanted to get my brows laminated. Why don't you like it? Okay. Wait, let me show you what I use.
                                         
                                         Carry it with me because my brows are so insane.
                                         
                                         I literally have to carry it with me.
                                         
                                         Your brows are so gnarly.
                                         
                                         I love it.
                                         
    
                                         No, they're so gnarly.
                                         
                                         You need to brush your brows up like that.
                                         
                                         Yours look like you look like an old man.
                                         
                                         No, but like men can do this.
                                         
                                         No, that was wrong.
                                         
                                         I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
                                         
                                         That wasn't what is wrong.
                                         
                                         The way you just brushed them up is about how you put your penis back after you take a pee.
                                         
    
                                         Do you want to see my eyebrows brushed like that?
                                         
                                         No, like literally.
                                         
                                         How do I do it?
                                         
                                         You can't do that.
                                         
                                         You just got Botox too.
                                         
                                         You can't do that.
                                         
                                         I love that you get Botox.
                                         
                                         I made him.
                                         
    
                                         You know what she does?
                                         
                                         She tricks me.
                                         
                                         She's like, hey, you're just going to get a little touch up.
                                         
                                         Next thing I know, I'm just getting jammed.
                                         
                                         If I ever did that to my boyfriend.
                                         
                                         Okay, let me do like a little tutorial.
                                         
                                         Give him some time.
                                         
                                         He'll be doing it.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, give us a tutorial. I might film this. Okay, I got to go to my camera. Okay, let me do like a little tutorial. Give him some time. He'll be doing it. Yeah, give us a tutorial. I might
                                         
                                         film this. Okay, I gotta
                                         
                                         go to my camera. Okay.
                                         
                                         This is what I do.
                                         
                                         I take this
                                         
                                         keratin restore mascara
                                         
                                         or soap brows, okay?
                                         
                                         Then you just kind of
                                         
    
                                         brush her up in little strokes.
                                         
                                         Okay. You don't want it to be
                                         
                                         too perfect though because it's your eyebrows. but it really is all about like getting this section. I like when women have a thick brow
                                         
                                         Yeah
                                         
                                         It really doesn't matter about the middle section. You want one of those like thin like no
                                         
                                         I don't like those little skinny things. Oh great. No, I'm gonna probably get shit for that
                                         
                                         This guy said it's gonna you know But you need like a brush like this.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
    
                                         And you can either get soap,
                                         
                                         And what's the brand?
                                         
                                         What's that brand?
                                         
                                         I don't know.
                                         
                                         This is some random brand.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         I'm going to take a picture of it
                                         
                                         because people are going to ask.
                                         
    
                                         Yummy lashes or something.
                                         
                                         I don't know.
                                         
                                         I usually use Anastasia,
                                         
                                         but you know what I realized?
                                         
                                         Yummy lashes,
                                         
                                         lashes,
                                         
                                         keratin restore mascara.
                                         
                                         With Anastasia's brow gel,
                                         
    
                                         what happens to my eyebrows
                                         
                                         is they get really like
                                         
                                         hard and like crispy. Taylor, calm it down back there. Taylor just ejaculated.
                                         
                                         Essential description. They get really crispy and I'm not about it. I'm really not.
                                         
                                         So this is like nice and flimsy with the brows, you know?
                                         
                                         Kind of like your penis after you pee.
                                         
                                         Ordering your pee.
                                         
                                         We have a two-hour car ride after this.
                                         
    
                                         Two hours?
                                         
                                         Where do you live?
                                         
                                         No, we gotta go to San Diego.
                                         
                                         We gotta go to San Diego.
                                         
                                         So I'm sorry.
                                         
                                         You flew home from Aspen this morning?
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
    
                                         Yesterday.
                                         
                                         Oh, I was gonna say, you flew home from Aspen. You sat on your couch or did whatever for like two seconds.
                                         
                                         Then you're here and now you're going to drive to San Diego. Do you want to know what I've done
                                         
                                         today? I woke up at 10, sat on my couch till 2, took a shower and came here. How old are you?
                                         
                                         I'm 19. You're 19? I didn't know you were 19. You seem so much more mature. Well,
                                         
                                         I thought you were 21. See, this is why I don't like telling people my age you're 19 it's because it gets yes it gets very uncomfortable
                                         
                                         oh my no it's not uncomfortable at all i love that you're 19 like i don't i don't know like
                                         
                                         why i'm different i just really i didn't i just saw taylor's head like literally he just got up
                                         
    
                                         he just got up and left no i just are you okay he's scared don't worry taylor i was adjusting
                                         
                                         my belt don't worry taylor it's not illegal anymore we have a defibrillator back there just in case you
                                         
                                         what if she said she's 17 after we had this conversation i did not know you were 19
                                         
                                         if you said you were 17 every other time i'd rip the fucking power lines out of the wall
                                         
                                         i'd be on the phone you act 21 well all my friends so my best friend is 31. My other best friend is like 25.
                                         
                                         So you have older friends.
                                         
                                         You're an older soul.
                                         
                                         Yeah. And like we all have this ongoing joke, like it's not illegal anymore. Because like,
                                         
    
                                         I mean, you know, it's weird because like even when I was 15, like waiters at restaurants thought
                                         
                                         I was like 25. Like I didn't even have to have a fake ID.
                                         
                                         Your energy is more mature. I can't explain it. And my parents have this ongoing joke too that they got my sister and my birth
                                         
                                         certificates screwed up because it very well could have happened because my sister was born
                                         
                                         June 10th, 1998. And I was born June 13th, 2001. But my due date was June 10th and her due date
                                         
                                         was June 13th. That's weird. Right?
                                         
                                         And my parents always have this ongoing joke of like,
                                         
                                         Delilah is 19 or however old I was at the time and Amelia is 22.
                                         
    
                                         Like this is wrong.
                                         
                                         This is incorrect. Your parents are going to love that Taylor and Michael and I
                                         
                                         had a conversation about how to take a piss at the urinal.
                                         
                                         No, like what do you mean?
                                         
                                         I learned how to give a blowjob when I was 12. Like, or 10.
                                         
                                         I don't know.
                                         
                                         I don't need Harry Hamlin on my tail.
                                         
                                         No, no, no.
                                         
    
                                         Trust me.
                                         
                                         You know why?
                                         
                                         Because you know why
                                         
                                         I don't want your dad on my tail?
                                         
                                         Why?
                                         
                                         Because he's such a handsome man
                                         
                                         that I would never, ever dream
                                         
                                         of defending myself
                                         
    
                                         if he was again.
                                         
                                         No, you know what?
                                         
                                         I feel like...
                                         
                                         I would never touch that face.
                                         
                                         He has this flow going on
                                         
                                         that you have
                                         
                                         and he would really appreciate yours.
                                         
                                         You guys are very similar looking.
                                         
    
                                         You have similar features.
                                         
                                         You guys do kind of.
                                         
                                         I can see that.
                                         
                                         My bet when you had friends over, all they did was just stare at your dad.
                                         
                                         Well, don't forget our mom.
                                         
                                         No, that's weird.
                                         
                                         Well, that too, but like.
                                         
                                         No, my mom was definitely the MILF.
                                         
    
                                         Nobody stared at my dad.
                                         
                                         People's moms.
                                         
                                         I would have stared at your dad.
                                         
                                         People's moms just told me, I'm obsessed with your dad.
                                         
                                         Like, I used to have your dad's poster.
                                         
                                         I don't care what anyone says
                                         
                                         that's a little weird
                                         
                                         but like my dad's 70 now
                                         
    
                                         did you know that
                                         
                                         so like it's different
                                         
                                         your dad looks good
                                         
                                         he's like a fucking
                                         
                                         Benjamin Bush
                                         
                                         he's like a fine wine
                                         
                                         he's like a fine wine
                                         
                                         you know he's never
                                         
    
                                         gotten Botox
                                         
                                         that's also why I'm like
                                         
                                         that'd be crazy
                                         
                                         if my dad got Botox
                                         
                                         he looks great
                                         
                                         like I'm a fan
                                         
                                         he says it's because
                                         
                                         he doesn't wash his face
                                         
    
                                         clear the record
                                         
                                         right now on the podcast
                                         
                                         do you care that
                                         
                                         your mom dances on Instagram?
                                         
                                         And before you answer, I'm going to say this.
                                         
                                         I love that your mom dances on Instagram.
                                         
                                         And if I'm not dancing on Instagram and doing that like when Zaza's your age,
                                         
                                         then just shoot me.
                                         
    
                                         I want to dance on Instagram.
                                         
                                         You know what?
                                         
                                         It doesn't even cross my mind.
                                         
                                         Like I said, my mother used to walk downstairs with her tits out and her butt out
                                         
                                         when my friends would be over, boy or girl, it didn't matter what friend was there. Now she's
                                         
                                         dancing with her bikini on. That's just lovely. But I'm so sorry. And I'm trying not to be a
                                         
                                         bitch about it, but it really gets you worked up because like my mom is such a genuinely sweet and loving soul. And she would never do anything to hurt a fly. And
                                         
                                         I think being a mother and like being told by the world that you're the reason that your
                                         
    
                                         child went through the hardships that she did, like that's not going to be easy on anyone.
                                         
                                         Like imagine if like Zaza went through something and like you were solely to blame, like that's not
                                         
                                         true. And so I think it
                                         
                                         just like really breaks my heart when people blame it on her because, you know, it really isn't her
                                         
                                         fault that she was born in such a slim figure. Like literally all of the photos in our house
                                         
                                         of my mom, like she has rock solid abs. She has legs like twigs, like this is her. And I'm just trying to make people aware that
                                         
                                         like you can body shame a bigger person and, you know, that will get more attention versus you can
                                         
                                         also body shame a skinnier, slimmer person. And that won't be, you know, something that gets
                                         
    
                                         registered in people's brains as body shaming. And so like, because I, you know, something that gets registered in people's brains as body shaming. And so like,
                                         
                                         because I, you know, decided to come out about my eating disorder, like I have, I feel like I have
                                         
                                         to now not only support my mom and make sure people know and like are aware that that's not
                                         
                                         really how it happens. At least that didn't happen for me. Like my mom's skinny body and something
                                         
                                         that, you know, like Garcelle said to me was like or
                                         
                                         said about me was like you know if if i was her like these videos of you dancing because you're
                                         
                                         so skinny would make me feel bad and then i take it as like wow like am i that much bigger than my
                                         
                                         mom to the point where i have to feel bad because she's so skinny and like yeah i don't have an eating disorder anymore but like i did and i'm i i do
                                         
    
                                         think that like i still get moments of like you know the the mindset that i had when i had my
                                         
                                         eating disorder or moments of like well that was so mean like am i fat like am i really that much
                                         
                                         larger than my mom like i never really saw it as that like i've never who compares you're not
                                         
                                         comparing yourself to your mother i don't know who compares their body to their mom i listen to that i watched that
                                         
                                         show when lauren has it on i get i get drawn in i thought that i thought that was a cheap shot i
                                         
                                         was like i don't like i don't like when garcelle did that there was there's a whole like sort of
                                         
                                         like thing right now where where it's like against them and i think that i like garcelle i think
                                         
                                         she's one of the more like reasonable and she's up front and she's like candid but i thought that
                                         
    
                                         was just really it yeah it threw me off and it was just kind of like, look, I get it that you're the new housewife,
                                         
                                         but like you don't need to bring in a story that you probably know nothing about. Like,
                                         
                                         mind you, she's probably never even read my post on my story. She's never I've never even met her.
                                         
                                         So she and I haven't had a conversation about how I actually felt. So to bring that up and
                                         
                                         blame it on my mom, my mom already has to deal with so much blame and
                                         
                                         guilt regardless. So for someone that, you know, is supposed to be her friend and supportive to
                                         
                                         say that and catch her off guard, it's like, you can, you know, you can be so confident in like
                                         
                                         everything you do in life, but then it's like, someone tells you one thing, like you're going
                                         
    
                                         to just listen to that one bad thing versus like all the little good things. So it made me feel sad. Here's what I think about those shows. Because like, you know, Lauren and I have been,
                                         
                                         we've had conversations about like, would we ever participate in something like that? And most of
                                         
                                         my answers like pretty much is like straight like hell no in the beginning. Because with something
                                         
                                         like this- My dad has his divorce lawyer on speed dial. Like that was a thing when my mom was signing
                                         
                                         up for the show was like, I remember when they first came to my mom to be on it, my dad was like,
                                         
                                         absolutely not. Like, I swear to God, I will divorce you. Yeah. I mean, because with something
                                         
                                         like this and why like podcast, the medium, one, we control it, but two, like you can't have this
                                         
                                         length of a conversation in a show like that. It's just, it's not, it wouldn't be snappy enough.
                                         
    
                                         It wouldn't get it. And they take those little moments of, you know, when we ask you how to
                                         
                                         take your penis out to pee versus the actual...
                                         
                                         Exactly.
                                         
                                         And then it just becomes this thing of just craziness.
                                         
                                         But where I empathize with the people that go on these shows,
                                         
                                         like here, we can just keep going and going,
                                         
                                         long conversation.
                                         
                                         But where I empathize with people that do those shows
                                         
    
                                         is you kind of, to your point,
                                         
                                         you enter as a new character.
                                         
                                         And if you're not getting ratings or attention, you're kind of like out. So you kind of like to your point you enter as a new character and if you're
                                         
                                         not getting ratings or attention you're kind of like out so you kind of in a way like i got to
                                         
                                         come in here and bring the heat or else like i'm going to become irrelevant and so i think what
                                         
                                         happens is people you know maybe they get in these situations like shit i'm not performing
                                         
                                         i'm performing i'm gonna say something wild and i get it that like it's that is something that
                                         
                                         goes down with reality tv like they need to one up the next person.
                                         
    
                                         You know that you have to present something.
                                         
                                         Otherwise, there's no point for you to be paid to be on this show.
                                         
                                         Like it's not about how nice you are to your friends.
                                         
                                         Like it's about drama.
                                         
                                         So I get that aspect.
                                         
                                         But like don't bring me into it.
                                         
                                         And then like when I get brought into it, I just get flooded with comments comparing me to other models that I do truly look up to, but it's like
                                         
                                         when can that just be let go of?
                                         
    
                                         How do you deal with a really horrible
                                         
                                         internet troll?
                                         
                                         My mom just taught me to block them.
                                         
                                         I just block them. Your mom's kind of iconic
                                         
                                         how she deals with them. Yeah, she just blocks everyone.
                                         
                                         The housewives, because your mom has just been herself
                                         
                                         for so... That's what I'm saying. I heard her for years
                                         
                                         on Howard Stern. I swear to God, I think I did.
                                         
    
                                         I'm sure you did. It's ringing a bell she's been the same person forever and like
                                         
                                         she brings that energy to everything like probably on and off camera and so what happens is these
                                         
                                         other women come on like shit i gotta compete with lisa renna i better say something and like
                                         
                                         it gets to a place like maybe you say something in order to compete with that energy that you don't
                                         
                                         want to say but you feel the pressure of like shit i need to perform for these cameras but i
                                         
                                         also feel like there's so much more good than there is bad especially with like my mom and our family i
                                         
                                         feel like we present and have a lot better feedback than bad feedback so it's really
                                         
                                         important to remind yourself like when you do accidentally because like it's kind of inevitable
                                         
    
                                         like it's not like first of all i don't days, you know, hanging out with all my friends are like normal, by the way. Like I don't hang out
                                         
                                         with anyone that's famous. So like, I don't spend my days being like, Oh my God, can you take an
                                         
                                         Instagram photo of me like this? Like, Oh my God, can you do this? Like, I'm not scrolling through
                                         
                                         my Instagram, treating it like my job. I'm scrolling through it. Like how all my other
                                         
                                         friends are scrolling through it. So if I accidentally, you know, scroll through my
                                         
                                         Instagram and I see a really shitty comment, I'm going to read it. And then that's all that's going to be playing in
                                         
                                         my head. And then I'm going to get lost in this cycle and I'm going to start reading everything.
                                         
                                         And then I have a tip. It's a really good thing to distinguish.
                                         
    
                                         So I decided one night at 3 a.m. to go on Michael's phone and type in Chihuahua, Chihuahua,
                                         
                                         Chihuahua all in his Google, in his search bar. I said the word Chihuahua, Chihuahua, Chihuahua all in his Google, in his search bar.
                                         
                                         I said the word Chihuahua, Chihuahua, Chihuahua.
                                         
                                         I love Chihuahuas 100,000 times in his phone.
                                         
                                         So he's been served for the last three years
                                         
                                         with only Chihuahua accounts.
                                         
                                         So what you should do-
                                         
                                         It's so annoying.
                                         
    
                                         Wait, actually?
                                         
                                         Yeah, no girls, no porn, no fucking nothing.
                                         
                                         My feed will sometimes just be Chihuahuas
                                         
                                         and I'll find myself following things.
                                         
                                         How did you think to do this?
                                         
                                         I don't know.
                                         
                                         I just have a weird thought.
                                         
                                         That's a little scary.
                                         
    
                                         Thank you.
                                         
                                         That's a tip for everyone.
                                         
                                         You could do ferrets.
                                         
                                         You could do sea monkeys, whatever your heart desires.
                                         
                                         Sea monkeys, I like those.
                                         
                                         What you should do is you should go to your phone and you should say and type into Google
                                         
                                         and into your search bar.
                                         
                                         So what do you have? So for me, like I wanted, like I like to consume accounts like Melissa Wood Health or like just positive accounts. You know,
                                         
    
                                         if I have a friend I really like, I'll type her name in like a hashtag I really like. I type it
                                         
                                         in so I'm only served content that's like, you know, recipes or like how to brush your brow up,
                                         
                                         just stuff that's not negative. Yeah. And I think it's so
                                         
                                         hard because there is so much comparison in this industry. And then like, you know, a lot of the
                                         
                                         times I'll find myself and I'm just like, you know, like it's been four years of me, like trying to
                                         
                                         be like this high fashion model. Like, do I just give up? Like, is that, you know, am I in 19?
                                         
                                         You have so much time. I know. I know. But then I'm like, like, am I on the right path for myself? And then I had a conversation with my friend last night. I was
                                         
                                         feeling kind of down. And she was like, where you are is where you're supposed to be. And you
                                         
    
                                         cannot compare yourself to the Kylie Jenners of the world who are 23 and have a billion dollars
                                         
                                         in their bank account. You just can't because it's just not reality. And you are where you're supposed to be. And that's that. I just think it's really hard
                                         
                                         being compared to situations that I'm not close to and I'm working very hard to get to. It's like
                                         
                                         people think that I am and I'm just like not like I'm just trying to be my own person,
                                         
                                         write my own story, you know, do my own thing. And it's always a comparison. But I think I have
                                         
                                         to always remind myself like, yes, this is one one bad comment but like there's so many more good and like i don't usually get a lot
                                         
                                         of hate like i am right now because the housewives and i will tomorrow because i tell garcelle to
                                         
                                         fuck off but like yeah but you know so i just have to remind myself like it's fine like you know
                                         
    
                                         you're a really nice person like and i always I always like in my notes, I wrote this for today.
                                         
                                         Like my motto is kill them with kindness. Like I think it's the most attractive thing ever to be
                                         
                                         kind. I'm nice to pretty much everyone, unless you've done something really bad to me. The thing
                                         
                                         about me is I'm just really shy when you first meet me. So I really do come off as a bitch.
                                         
                                         I just, I am like, I'm really shy. And so I think that's what's hard for me is like,
                                         
                                         everyone thinks I'm just like the biggest bitch in the world. Cause I'm just so shy.
                                         
                                         But that's the, that's the whole thing with like life. They're showing like five seconds of your
                                         
                                         life on housewives. And there's so much more to it that people need to understand. Robert Green
                                         
    
                                         is one of my favorite authors. And he was on this podcast yesterday and he says that we're so used
                                         
                                         to comparing ourselves to what everyone else is doing. And what we tend to do is we compare
                                         
                                         ourselves to people that are ahead of us. And he says, when is the last time that you compared
                                         
                                         yourself to someone who's not ahead of you? Never. So when, never. That's crazy. Never.
                                         
                                         And he said, start doing that. So what he said is he had a stroke. So he used to go outside after
                                         
                                         his stroke and he would say, oh my God, look at that guy riding his bike. Look at that guy running. Gosh,
                                         
                                         this sucks that I, that I can only walk. And then one day he went outside and he said, wow,
                                         
                                         look at that guy in the wheelchair. He can't use his legs. Look at that old man that's on
                                         
    
                                         the ventilator, you know, sitting, sitting over on the hospital. Well, I mean, I've done that,
                                         
                                         but, but it's not like a constant thing. Like, you know, you're more inclined to compare yourself
                                         
                                         to like what you don't have. So I think that gives the problem with that though, line of thinking.
                                         
                                         I agree with Lauren, but the problem with comparing yourself to something you don't have
                                         
                                         is that it's a, it's a never ending cycle. Exactly. Have you heard experience stretching?
                                         
                                         I forget who, who it was on Tim Ferriss' show and he had, oh my God,
                                         
                                         I'm going to forget. And I've talked about it here before. It's not from me, but I heard it.
                                         
                                         And I'm like, oh, that's really interesting. So like experience stretching is the idea is like
                                         
    
                                         one day you're sitting there and you see the most beautiful sunset in the world. And you look to
                                         
                                         your right person you're with like, wow, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. It can't
                                         
                                         get much better than this. Life is the best. Then a year later, you're seeing like same sunset,
                                         
                                         maybe have a nice glass of wine and you're in the South of France like, wow, it can't get much better than this. Life is the best. Then a year later, you're seeing like same sunset. Maybe you have a nice glass of wine and you're in the South of France. Like, wow,
                                         
                                         it can't get better than this. Then like a year later, you're on a yacht, same sunset, glass of
                                         
                                         wine. It can't get better than this. And then a year later, like maybe you see that same sunset
                                         
                                         and it's the original setting. And you're like, wow, this is depressing. I hate this. So the
                                         
                                         thing that used to make you the happiest actually ends up making you the saddest.
                                         
    
                                         So it's like doing cocaine and trying to get the first high.
                                         
                                         Yes. So what the problem is, is when you're comparing all the time and looking ahead,
                                         
                                         looking ahead, you can't get to a place where you're happy because there's always going to be
                                         
                                         something that you want more and more and more. And that's how I catch myself a lot when I'm just
                                         
                                         alone and I'm in my feels or when I'm taking my morning walks. I like to just put my AirPods in
                                         
                                         and listen to my skinny
                                         
                                         confidential, his and hers, really quickly because sometimes I don't want to get caught up in my
                                         
                                         thoughts that are kind of negative and self-sabotaging. And my mom always, always emphasized
                                         
    
                                         don't feel bad, feel grateful. I don't even really know what this means, but she was always like,
                                         
                                         when Delilah or myself, we'd be like, oh, I really feel bad, blah, blah. She would just always say, don't feel bad, feel grateful. As long as you're grateful,
                                         
                                         then you have nothing to feel bad about. Like as long as you're grateful for everything you have
                                         
                                         in your life, you know, but that's hard to actually practice. It is a practice though.
                                         
                                         It's a practice that you have to do every day. You have to be aware of your thoughts. This morning,
                                         
                                         I woke up, Joe dispenses as you wake up and the first thing you think
                                         
                                         is something negative.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         So today I woke up
                                         
                                         and I almost went there
                                         
                                         and then I completely
                                         
                                         turned it into a positive.
                                         
                                         But like you have to just be like
                                         
                                         aware of what you're thinking
                                         
                                         and like watch yourself
                                         
                                         from an outside perspective.
                                         
    
                                         A hundred percent.
                                         
                                         Yeah, but Lauren, it gets,
                                         
                                         I mean, you're so young.
                                         
                                         I mean, it gets better.
                                         
                                         It's not like we've like,
                                         
                                         I mean, it's been a long time
                                         
                                         of us trying to,
                                         
                                         we're still like struggle with it.
                                         
    
                                         Right.
                                         
                                         When I was 19,
                                         
                                         I was literally naked on the bar dancing like yeah i could never you're so like you're good
                                         
                                         but sometimes i'm like do i wish i was doing that do i wish i was having the frat house experience
                                         
                                         but then i'm like no like no maybe not with covid right now i just don't think it's me and that's
                                         
                                         okay you know it wasn't me I didn't do that experience.
                                         
                                         And listen,
                                         
                                         How did you get naked
                                         
    
                                         on the table then?
                                         
                                         I was just naked on the table
                                         
                                         because I was just in the restaurant.
                                         
                                         I was naked under the table.
                                         
                                         No, I was like,
                                         
                                         I had a very much like,
                                         
                                         Wait, you guys knew each other
                                         
                                         when you were 19?
                                         
    
                                         No, when we were 12.
                                         
                                         What?
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         That's so flipping cute.
                                         
                                         We haven't been together
                                         
                                         the whole time though.
                                         
                                         12?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         That's really cute.
                                         
                                         12. I wasn't with him at 19 time. Twelve? Yeah. That's really cute.
                                         
                                         I wasn't with him at 19 though.
                                         
                                         I was popping my puss like.
                                         
                                         That's really cute.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         We knew each other.
                                         
                                         I worked in a restaurant like very much like sir.
                                         
    
                                         I just started
                                         
                                         Vanderpump Rules.
                                         
                                         Dynamics of that.
                                         
                                         So that's what I mean.
                                         
                                         I didn't do the whole
                                         
                                         frat thing either.
                                         
                                         Michael did the frat thing.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         You did the frat thing.
                                         
                                         Well you went to Arizona. You had to. You beat the frat thing. Yeah. You did the frat thing. Well, you went to Arizona.
                                         
                                         You had to.
                                         
                                         You beat the frat thing with a fucking leg.
                                         
                                         You had to.
                                         
                                         I'm lucky because my boyfriend's not a frat guy.
                                         
                                         I'll tell you, I wasn't necessarily a frat guy, but I-
                                         
                                         What are you talking about?
                                         
    
                                         You were the warden.
                                         
                                         No, but I'll tell you why.
                                         
                                         It was a different time.
                                         
                                         No, I went to Arizona and there's nothing to do.
                                         
                                         Arizona is the party school.
                                         
                                         University of Arizona.
                                         
                                         Not the one in Tucson. of Arizona not the one in Tucson
                                         
                                         so like
                                         
    
                                         you went to the one
                                         
                                         in Tucson
                                         
                                         in Scottsdale
                                         
                                         the one you went to
                                         
                                         is worse
                                         
                                         no in Scottsdale
                                         
                                         there's a bunch of shit to do
                                         
                                         but in Tucson
                                         
    
                                         when I was there
                                         
                                         it was just like a big desert
                                         
                                         there's not a lot to do
                                         
                                         wait the one that's party one
                                         
                                         is AU right
                                         
                                         ASU
                                         
                                         I went to U of A
                                         
                                         U of A is the party one
                                         
    
                                         no it was wild
                                         
                                         but I'm saying
                                         
                                         you kind of had to be
                                         
                                         in a frat
                                         
                                         in order to like be
                                         
                                         there's nothing there's no bars there's no things to do wait were you in Tucson yeah yeah I got lost in Tucson once is the party one. No, it was wild. But I'm saying you kind of had to be in a frat in order to like be in a party.
                                         
                                         There's nothing,
                                         
                                         there's no bars,
                                         
    
                                         there's no things to do.
                                         
                                         Wait, were you in Tucson?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I got lost in Tucson once.
                                         
                                         Tucson's a pretty wild place.
                                         
                                         I need to know something.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
    
                                         What are the questions?
                                         
                                         Why don't you get on that?
                                         
                                         No, you can go on it
                                         
                                         and go down the road.
                                         
                                         We don't have all day though.
                                         
                                         I know.
                                         
                                         We've been going for a while.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
    
                                         So I want to ask this question.
                                         
                                         Who is your favorite housewife and why
                                         
                                         I guess besides your mom
                                         
                                         a lot of people ask this
                                         
                                         I don't want to offend anyone I love you all
                                         
                                         except for a few let's see
                                         
                                         I would have to say Dorit
                                         
                                         oh I thought you were going to say Erika Jayne
                                         
    
                                         I know but Dorit's fab
                                         
                                         but like everyone knows that like Erika is my girl
                                         
                                         so like I got to switch it up a little
                                         
                                         so i think
                                         
                                         dorit right now is really you know in the lead her kids are so cute like all i do is just like
                                         
                                         watch her kids baking and she's so chic and she's just so fab and like i just feel like the time and
                                         
                                         effort she puts into all of her looks is so fascinating and i'm like wow like she's misunderstood
                                         
                                         too when she first came on i don't think people understood i mean look when she first came on i she puts into all of her looks is so fascinating. And I'm like, wow. She's misunderstood too. When
                                         
    
                                         she first came on, I don't think people understood her. I mean, look, when she first came on,
                                         
                                         I was confused too because there was a lot going on. I still am obsessed. I love a dynamic.
                                         
                                         I just, I'm obsessed with Doreen. Like I really am. And she's like, so like, I just feel like we
                                         
                                         get along. Like they all kind of understand that I'm like not really 19 and they just treat me
                                         
                                         like a normal human. I can't believe you're 19.
                                         
                                         No, I know.
                                         
                                         I know.
                                         
                                         I shouldn't have told you, honestly.
                                         
    
                                         Imagine how I was when I was 17 trying to go to clubs.
                                         
                                         I mean, I don't go to clubs anymore because like I outgrew that and I'm not even 21.
                                         
                                         But imagine me being like 15, 17 going to clubs being like, yeah, like I'm 22.
                                         
                                         Like I feel like I've been lying about my age forever.
                                         
                                         And then like I got followers on Instagram and had to stop. Like I don't even have a fake ID anymore. Taylor's probably on your Instagram
                                         
                                         right now. Honestly, my Instagram isn't good. Okay. You have to leave our audience with a book,
                                         
                                         a resource, a podcast that has brought you a lot of value. Intuitive Eating by Elise Reich.
                                         
                                         This is a good one. Talk about this a little bit. She's my therapist, my dietician slash therapist. I only see her now. I see her every Tuesday, but now because of quarantine,
                                         
    
                                         I see her every other week. Intuitive Eating. I'm writing this down. It's called Intuitive
                                         
                                         Eating. She has a lot of books under the umbrella of intuitive eating. And she basically was like,
                                         
                                         quote unquote, creator of intuitive eating, which basically means just like the practice
                                         
                                         of listening to your body, whether it's full or it's hungry or it's starving or it's wanting to go on
                                         
                                         a run or if it's not wanting to go on a run or if it's, you know, it's just really listening to your
                                         
                                         body. And I think that's changed my life. Like I used to work out and be like, oh, I don't want to
                                         
                                         go to boxing today. Like, oh my God, like I have the worst stomach ache I've ever had today. Like,
                                         
                                         ew, I'm obviously not working out. But four years ago, I probably would have because like,
                                         
    
                                         God forbid I go a Tuesday without working out. Like it's not even the weekend. Like that could
                                         
                                         never happen. But now it's just, I feel like a lot of the stress and cortisol has been taken
                                         
                                         off of my body because I don't push myself. And I really listened to what my body has to say,
                                         
                                         whether it's if I want to have regular pizza for dinner, if it's I want to have cauliflower pizza for dinner or, you know,
                                         
                                         whatever it is or whatever it may be, if I need that cookie or whatever, I don't think about it
                                         
                                         in like the part of my brain that's, you know, anorexic. I think about it from the part of my
                                         
                                         brain that's like, what does my body need? You know? And like- That's exactly how you intuitive
                                         
                                         eat. That's what- Yeah. And I feel like you do. Like? That's exactly how you intuitive eat.
                                         
    
                                         I feel like you do. When you talk about how you don't really care about food that
                                         
                                         much.
                                         
                                         He just doesn't get any energy.
                                         
                                         I kind of stay quiet when it comes to these issues
                                         
                                         because I definitely like, I'm not an expert
                                         
                                         but in my own life
                                         
                                         if I guess intuitive, I only
                                         
                                         do things that speak to my body. So if I
                                         
    
                                         get full, I stop eating. If I feel like a pizza, I eat a pizza. But a lot of people struggle with this
                                         
                                         because there's so much around food. I remember like I would talk to my friends and I'd be like,
                                         
                                         wow, like I can't believe, you know, that person just got that whole plate of pasta from Il
                                         
                                         Pastayo and they didn't eat all of it. And like they took the rest home. Like I was that girl
                                         
                                         that was like scarfing it down because I restricted myself so much from ever eating those things that when it
                                         
                                         was in front of me, I had to savor the moment and like really indulge. But now that I don't
                                         
                                         have any restrictions on what I eat, you get to the table and you're like,
                                         
                                         I do feel guilty sometimes when you go to a nice place and you don't even think it's like,
                                         
    
                                         you don't want to say, no, but that's okay. You're not supposed to eat everything because like you've also mentioned the portions in america
                                         
                                         are absolutely wow out of control i ordered a burger the other day it's it's as big as my head
                                         
                                         i can't believe it that burger looked so good it was good you know i don't need to eat the whole
                                         
                                         thing yeah i think people feel pressure because like they're like i gotta i bought this i gotta
                                         
                                         eat it or like maybe they grew up in a way where like your parents forced and like for me and i
                                         
                                         was also listening to that i was not forced by my parents but by like people that we knew a family
                                         
                                         that we knew would force us to finish like our milk and like all of our vegetables and shit and
                                         
                                         i think that also fucked me up like i'm telling you i don't know if you heard that story when i
                                         
    
                                         did when i was a kid i just stared this dude down he told the point where he just sent me home i
                                         
                                         heard that story that was crazy i could really relate to that yeah no one wants to be forced
                                         
                                         so intuitive eating great book okay listening to your body will change your life. I swear to God. She and you should come back on the podcast together at
                                         
                                         some point. Yeah, I would love to. I would love to talk to her. She's probably very interesting.
                                         
                                         She really is. OK. She's just a very in-depth person and she's super cool. And she's like 75
                                         
                                         and like sort of hippie and like. And you said her name is. Elise Reich. Elise Reich. OK. OK.
                                         
                                         So that's what you recommend.
                                         
                                         Where can everyone find you on Instagram, Twitter?
                                         
    
                                         Blast yourself out.
                                         
                                         I think I'm verified on Twitter, but I don't even have the app and I've never been on it
                                         
                                         in my whole life.
                                         
                                         I love it.
                                         
                                         So not Twitter.
                                         
                                         Probably don't have a Facebook, but have an Instagram.
                                         
                                         It's Amelia Gray.
                                         
                                         You know, like my Instagram is really just like my portfolio.
                                         
    
                                         So I don't really post that many interesting things on my life. That's why it's so fun. I
                                         
                                         feel like I do with my stories. Like I always sit down and I'm like having a rant, but like on my
                                         
                                         feed, it's not like it is yours. Like how you're just, you know, really talkative and things like
                                         
                                         it's pretty much just selfies trying to get like, yeah, it's just like your portfolio.
                                         
                                         You look pretty hot on your Instagram. Well, it's just like your portfolio. Thank you. But it's just like your portfolio you look pretty hot on your
                                         
                                         instagram well it's just like your portfolio thank you but it's just like your portfolio you know like
                                         
                                         i feel like i used to post so much about the eating disorder stuff but like i don't want to be like
                                         
                                         the girl with the eating disorder anymore you're not trying to be the poster child i've helped a
                                         
    
                                         lot of people though and i have which feels so amazing but it's time to recreate and move on.
                                         
                                         Renovation.
                                         
                                         Renovation, baby.
                                         
                                         Renovation.
                                         
                                         Yeah, we're just going to like move on from that.
                                         
                                         I'm still always here to help people and I'm going to give my tips and stuff.
                                         
                                         But like it's time to not be Amelia Gray eating disorder.
                                         
                                         Good.
                                         
    
                                         Good for you.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I like it.
                                         
                                         We learned how to do the coin. Or we didn. I like it. I, we learned how to
                                         
                                         do the coin or we didn't learn how, but you can go learn how to do the coin renovation,
                                         
                                         renovation, and you can go to Amelia's Instagram to see her portfolio. She looks great. Thank you
                                         
                                         for coming on. Thank you for doing this. You're a natural. Can I do one of your ads? Yeah, go,
                                         
                                         go do it. I do woo. Woo. Okay. Wait, really quickly i'm not paying you a single cent okay
                                         
    
                                         it's fine really quickly before i do it like i've sat here and tried to figure out the vagina with
                                         
                                         the two balls next to it for a long time that's what it is are you kidding no i'm not kidding
                                         
                                         that's what you were just like let's do like a v with two dots next yeah michael didn't say that
                                         
                                         let's no no i didn't i didn't say like if it were up to you you would have had it coming out of your like. Creatively
                                         
                                         me. I'll tell the story. Me, Weston
                                         
                                         Lauren. We sat around and we
                                         
                                         talked about this for forever and like we just like
                                         
                                         spitballed all these different names and all these different things
                                         
    
                                         and we're like woo it's like Shakespearean to like
                                         
                                         woo a woman. Yeah. Oh.
                                         
                                         It wasn't like we all came up with it.
                                         
                                         And then we like okay what looks cool that W
                                         
                                         it's kind of like an inverse of the W.
                                         
                                         Yeah. And then we just like the way it looks like vagina two balls kind of funny i've really thought this
                                         
                                         through okay so woo more play um it's made with it's called coconut love oil it's made with
                                         
                                         coconut stevia other things and you can lick it suck it and fuck it and it's natural 100%
                                         
    
                                         tastes delicious and you can use it when you're alone or with your partner.
                                         
                                         Taylor uses it all day long.
                                         
                                         These are the freshies that you can, you know,
                                         
                                         clean yourself or the other person.
                                         
                                         And it's great.
                                         
                                         And it's natural.
                                         
                                         Sold.
                                         
                                         I'm going to need you to sign about five release forms.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, because you're 19 years old.
                                         
                                         No, no.
                                         
                                         Okay, but the packaging literally says.
                                         
                                         Taylor, pull all these clips and get some Facebook ads up and running.
                                         
                                         Please tell your mom, thank you for telling me about the coin.
                                         
                                         I'm blessed.
                                         
                                         Michael's blessed.
                                         
                                         Wait, when you say the coin, like you're talking about like the two fingers.
                                         
    
                                         Like, yeah.
                                         
                                         Do you use this one?
                                         
                                         This is the one.
                                         
                                         This is how you do it.
                                         
                                         Just like this.
                                         
                                         But then don't you feel like your other fingers are awkward?
                                         
                                         Like they're just like sticking out like this?
                                         
                                         Or do you like.
                                         
    
                                         No one cares if they're awkward.
                                         
                                         Oh.
                                         
                                         I don't think he's ever looked at my fingers. Have you looked at my fingers no i swear to god this has crossed my mind like
                                         
                                         i'm like what do i do with these three there's a guy in the world's like land that finger placement
                                         
                                         is my mind okay no these are the things that i think about looking at the fingers taylor have
                                         
                                         you ever looked at a girl's fingers when she's blowing you hold on he's not annoying he's not
                                         
                                         annoying no not at all are you kidding me you've never well taylor for you it's only 30 seconds so you don't have time to look at the fingers wait why do we roast
                                         
                                         taylor oh why do we roast taylor let's let's think about it okay you gotta fucking a few hours he
                                         
    
                                         you gotta listen to the podcast where he went to my wedding and did a speech in front of everyone
                                         
                                         and told everyone that i'm the beauty or i'm the beast and michael's the beauty don't ruin it don't
                                         
                                         just have her go listen. And then he told me
                                         
                                         and he still works for you.
                                         
                                         Don't ruin the punchline.
                                         
                                         He said,
                                         
                                         I want to suck down
                                         
                                         on Lauren's dick.
                                         
    
                                         There's a lot of new listeners
                                         
                                         probably because
                                         
                                         it's been a long time
                                         
                                         and I looked at the analytics
                                         
                                         and it's a lesser known episode
                                         
                                         because you ever seen
                                         
                                         Mr. Toad's Wild Ride?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         The Disney show
                                         
                                         back in the day.
                                         
                                         I've been on the ride too
                                         
                                         at Disney Man.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         So we named this episode
                                         
                                         a long time ago
                                         
                                         Mr. Piss Pants Wild Ride and you can just long time ago, Mr. Piss Pants Wild Ride.
                                         
    
                                         And you can just Google
                                         
                                         TSC podcast,
                                         
                                         Mr. Piss Pants Wild Ride.
                                         
                                         And it'll basically tell you
                                         
                                         exactly what Taylor did
                                         
                                         at our wedding.
                                         
                                         Taylor has an ejaculation
                                         
                                         problem too
                                         
    
                                         that he talks about.
                                         
                                         It includes getting naked
                                         
                                         at a strip club.
                                         
                                         You told me he can't
                                         
                                         or he can too fast.
                                         
                                         No, he's too fast.
                                         
                                         Oh, sorry, Taylor.
                                         
                                         Wet enchiladas off my dad's plate
                                         
    
                                         with his bare hands
                                         
                                         and included calling Lauren a beast
                                         
                                         and that she was going to suck down on
                                         
                                         her dick at our wedding. Like it is a
                                         
                                         Well, how drunk was he? Or what drugs?
                                         
                                         Oh, he was blacked out. I didn't even remember
                                         
                                         I would wake up the next morning. Michael would be like
                                         
                                         with the message saying, keep it together.
                                         
    
                                         What about the time that my friends
                                         
                                         were sleeping in a bed together and they woke
                                         
                                         up and Taylor was hoovering over them.
                                         
                                         This is the story.
                                         
                                         The story of the wedding was the first night happened.
                                         
                                         I sent a text like,
                                         
                                         hey man, remember,
                                         
                                         we're at the wedding.
                                         
    
                                         Take it easy.
                                         
                                         I know you're having fun.
                                         
                                         Oh, so you have a problem?
                                         
                                         That was the first day.
                                         
                                         The second day,
                                         
                                         I was like, yo man,
                                         
                                         remember I sent you the message.
                                         
                                         Take it easy.
                                         
    
                                         What the fuck?
                                         
                                         And the third day,
                                         
                                         I was like,
                                         
                                         are you fucking kidding me?
                                         
                                         He went from zero to a thousand.
                                         
                                         You would have thought
                                         
                                         it was your wedding.
                                         
                                         Yeah, oh, Taylor.
                                         
    
                                         It was too much tequila though. Tequila, beer, Mexico, but I get Yeah. Aw, Taylor. It was too much tequila though.
                                         
                                         Tequila, beer, Mexico.
                                         
                                         But I get that.
                                         
                                         Like I did.
                                         
                                         It was at Palmia too.
                                         
                                         It can make you scary.
                                         
                                         Did you get married at Palmia?
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
    
                                         That's why I saw that post
                                         
                                         that you did
                                         
                                         and I was like,
                                         
                                         oh my God, she's at Palmia.
                                         
                                         It's the most cathartic
                                         
                                         therapeutic place.
                                         
                                         And then I,
                                         
                                         the reason that I posted it there
                                         
    
                                         was because like
                                         
                                         I was struggling
                                         
                                         at my worst
                                         
                                         a year prior at the Palmias
                                         
                                         like the Palmia
                                         
                                         marks so many of my like
                                         
                                         Palmia is the best place
                                         
                                         on earth
                                         
    
                                         Cummings
                                         
                                         oh Cummings
                                         
                                         don't end with Cummings
                                         
                                         Taylor might come
                                         
                                         okay
                                         
                                         thank you so much
                                         
                                         for coming on
                                         
                                         you guys follow Amelia
                                         
    
                                         at Amelia Gray right
                                         
                                         G-R-A-Y
                                         
                                         not E-Y
                                         
                                         don't forget
                                         
                                         okay
                                         
                                         my middle name's Gray
                                         
                                         no it's not
                                         
                                         is it
                                         
    
                                         yes it is wait I'm sorry what Taylor Gray O'Connor how my middle name okay my middle name's gray no it's not is it yes it is when i'm sorry what
                                         
                                         taylor gray o'connor how my middle name is my middle name is gray how are you doing i'll call
                                         
                                         him taylor gray taylor gray taylor gray i think gray is a beautiful name it really is i'm gonna
                                         
                                         name my kid something with gray in it but i'm not gonna say it because then you bitches are
                                         
                                         gonna steal it so taylor gray yeah you can't give your name out. I know. And I need to
                                         
                                         know how Zaza came about. I was I think about that a lot. Zaza came about because there's this
                                         
                                         famous Hollywood actress that your mom would know called Zaza Gabor. She was fucking fabulous. Just
                                         
                                         like like very outspoken, like your mom unapologetically herself. And I read all her
                                         
    
                                         autobiographies. And so I'd go to Michael and say, I'm obsessed with Zaza Gabor and one day he looked at me
                                         
                                         and he's like
                                         
                                         no no no
                                         
                                         it's Zaza
                                         
                                         and I was like
                                         
                                         oh I'm naming my firstborn Zaza
                                         
                                         because it's like
                                         
                                         do you call her Zaza
                                         
    
                                         or Zaza
                                         
                                         Zaza
                                         
                                         Zaza is Z
                                         
                                         Z-S-A-Z-S-A
                                         
                                         it's a Russian name
                                         
                                         I think
                                         
                                         I think that's the origin
                                         
                                         and I said like
                                         
    
                                         you're saying it Zaza
                                         
                                         but we actually like the name
                                         
                                         Zaza better
                                         
                                         I love it
                                         
                                         oh my god
                                         
                                         her eyes
                                         
                                         thank you she's so beautiful thank you I can't wait to have a kid one day Zaza, but we actually like the name Zaza better. I love it. Oh my God, her eyes.
                                         
                                         Thank you.
                                         
    
                                         She's so beautiful.
                                         
                                         Thank you.
                                         
                                         Thank you.
                                         
                                         I can't wait to have a kid one day.
                                         
                                         Oh my God, you're 19.
                                         
                                         Oh, I know, but like starting a family is so fun.
                                         
                                         Take your time.
                                         
                                         It's a lot of work.
                                         
    
                                         I have a dog, so I get it.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it's- I have a French bulldog.
                                         
                                         She's pretty sassy.
                                         
                                         Kind of like a dog, but it needs your attention at all.
                                         
                                         It's like that meme, how much attention do you need?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         And the person's dead.
                                         
                                         That's how it is. Where is she now? She's with the sitter at all. It's like that meme, how much attention do you need? Yeah. And the person's dead. That's how it is.
                                         
    
                                         Where is she now?
                                         
                                         She's with the sitter at home.
                                         
                                         She's outside.
                                         
                                         She's just sitting waiting for us.
                                         
                                         Yeah, she's in the car.
                                         
                                         Like, let's go play with her.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I left her down there.
                                         
                                         She'll be okay.
                                         
    
                                         Do you want to play with my dog?
                                         
                                         I'll play with your kid.
                                         
                                         What kind of dog?
                                         
                                         I have a French Bulldog.
                                         
                                         Cute.
                                         
                                         Her name's Lady.
                                         
                                         Thank you for coming on.
                                         
                                         Oh, I saw that.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         You have a tattoo that says Lady.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I love it.
                                         
                                         That was a fun conversation.
                                         
                                         That went all the way.
                                         
                                         You got to like sign a release for that.
                                         
                                         She's 19 years old.
                                         
    
                                         No, it's fine, guys.
                                         
                                         19's legal.
                                         
                                         Yep, it is.
                                         
                                         Michael Mouse.
                                         
                                         Yep.
                                         
                                         That makes you sound like a creep.
                                         
                                         Anyways, Amelia, thank you for coming on the show.
                                         
                                         I had no idea you were 19.
                                         
    
                                         Do you want to win a cheeky pink glittery pop socket and some stickers?
                                         
                                         All you have to do is tell us your favorite part of this episode with Amelia on my latest Instagram.
                                         
                                         There's so many favorite parts for me.
                                         
                                         I don't know where you can even start.
                                         
                                         She is amazing.
                                         
                                         But definitely let us know your favorite part on my latest Insta at The Skinny Confidential.
                                         
                                         And with that, we'll see you next time.
                                         
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