The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - American Icon Paula Abdul Does It Her Way & Wants You To Too

Episode Date: May 5, 2020

#265: On this episode we sit down with an icon! The one and only Paula Abdul. Paula is an American singer, songwriter, dancer, choreographer, actress, and television personality. Many of you may remem...ber her from her music, American Idol, or as the head Laker Girl for the LA Lakers! On today's episode we discuss overcoming the odds, how to be a trailblazer, & career longevity. To connect with Paula Abdul click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by Skillshare. Skillshare is an online learning space offering more than 25,000 courses. Join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare today with a special offer just for our listeners: Get two months of Skillshare for free. That’s right, Skillshare is offering The Skinny Confidential listeners two months of unlimited access to over 25,000 classes for free. To sign up, go to www.skillshare.com/TSC.  This episode is brought to you by FOUR SIGMATIC We have been drinking this company's mushroom-infused elixirs and coffees for over a year now. When we need a break from coffee but still need that extra morning jolt and focus the Mushroom Coffee with Lion's Mane and Chaga is the way to go. Lauryn also drinks the Mushroom Matcha which is a green tea designed as a coffee alternative for those of you who want to cut back on caffeine without losing focus and cognitive boosts. This stuff doesn't actually taste like mushrooms, it's delicious. All of these blends have a ton of nutrients and amino acids to give you balanced energy without the jitters. To try FOUR SIGMATIC products go to foursigmatic.com/skinny and use promo code SKINNY for 15% off all products. Produced by Dear Media

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Think of it as the Netflix for learning skills online. So join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare today with a special offer just for our listeners. Get two months of Skillshare for free. That's right. Skillshare is offering the skinny confidential him and her listeners two months of unlimited access to over 25,000 classes for free. To sign up, go to Skillshare.com slash TSC. Again, go to Skillshare.com slash TSC to start your two months now.
Starting point is 00:00:46 That's Skillshare.com slash TSC. are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her. It's like you get to go on that road and then you get to keep looking back and pretty soon you don't see where you started. But it's that journey. I hate saying the journey, but it truly is. I mean, you know, also you combine that with wisdom and experience. I learned how to, you know, accept rejection and the hard work of not giving up.
Starting point is 00:01:35 Cinco de Drinko. Quarantine de Drinko. Let me tell you something. Every day has been Drinko, Drinko, Drinko. That's all there is to do right now. You've developed a new habit that involves beer which has been interesting why have you been looking at my stomach well it's just i've never seen you drink so much beer yeah listen we're on quarantine guys welcome back to the show that clip was from our guest of the show icon we have an icon today on the show paula abdul one of the coolest people we've had on the show
Starting point is 00:02:03 if i do say so myself we had a lot of fun with her. For those of you that are new to the show, my name is Michael Bostic. I'm a serial entrepreneur and brand builder. Most recently, the CEO of the Dear Media Podcast Network. And across from me, my very excited wife. I guess you're very excited about Cinco de Mayo. Lauren Epperts, take it away. I am excited.
Starting point is 00:02:21 I'm really excited. Why not? My dad is having a party at his restaurant in San Diego outside on the street. If you're there, go head over to El Say tonight. That sounds like something your dad would do. Brad, shout out. Have fun in the street, buddy. Be careful. Social distance. Paula Abdul, she's on the show. She's an American singer, songwriter, dancer, choreographer, actress, television personality. And you might know her from
Starting point is 00:02:44 American Idol. She's major. She is iconic, Michael Bostic. No, I was. And you might know her from American Idol. She's major. She is iconic, Michael Bostic. I know I was. She is an icon. Yeah, we got we got icons on the show. That's what we have now. We have icons. What's your beer of choice? You know, it's a lot of people. Listen, I'm not fancy. I'm not one of those guys. I like cheap beer. I like, you know, I don't like to make I don't like to do any of those IPAs. Those are way too much. I don't know these guys that drink the IPA. I don't know how you can put those things down too much. I go right now. I'm really into Dos Equis. I just, I go for the green bottle, the lager. That's it. Do you like it freezing cold with the lime or are you not bougie about it?
Starting point is 00:03:14 I'm not too bougie about it. You know, I just, I take them as they come. I like a lime. I do like a lime. I like them cold. I don't, nothing worse than warm piss beer. That's, that's the worst. You know what I like? A freezing cold Peroni, like freezing. You, for a long time, you thought that I was a freezing cold peroni like freezing you for a long time you thought that i was super into italian beers and god bless you i mean you just kept like buying the italian beer but i really like all i wanted the whole time was a dose i could do pacifico too didn't someone else do that to you like at their house like when every time you came over or that was weston that was everyone let's not tell side stories about people that nobody on the show has relevance okay but i mean not that western's not relevant western i mean if
Starting point is 00:03:44 you're listening you know know, you're relevant. So you don't like Italian beer? I like it, but I like, you know, Mexican beer. I like that. And also I could do a good like Pabst once in a while. Like I don't like, I'm not one of those guys that sits back and like opens a case of beer and takes them all down. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:04:00 You like one cold beer. Unless I'm in quarantine, then I might take a case down. Yeah. Not gonna lie. Yeah, things are falling apart. I can feel my stomach literally hanging. I can feel it like going over every day. It's like, I'm like, where? I've never felt that there before, but it's there. Yeah. Things are happening. My drink of choice in quarantine has been champagne,
Starting point is 00:04:18 La Piscine. My friend Ingrid introduced me to this. It's a huge wine glass like a huge one with tons of ice and you just pour champagne on top of the ice and it is fucking delicious well aren't you fancy i i am fancy let's welcome paula abdul to the skinny confidential him and her show like i said she is an american singer songwriter dancer, actress, and television personality. You know her from American Idol. She also started her career as a cheerleader for the Los Angeles Lakers, which is pretty fucking cool to see how far she's come. I could not be more excited to pick her brain on entrepreneurship, beauty, and of course, lots of idol talk. So with that, let's welcome Paula to the show. This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her.
Starting point is 00:05:10 Paula Abdul in the studio. Do you think I'd make it to the next round on American Idol? I don't think I would have made it. I don't think I got a voice for, I don't think I got that kind of voice. Well, you gave Ryan Seacrest a run for his money. That's the first time someone said that to me on the show, but all right. His hairline's pretty good. He got a haircut and everything for you yesterday. Listen, I heard you were coming in. I was like, I gotta be presentable here, you know?
Starting point is 00:05:34 So just to hop right into it with you, I want to know a day in the life of Paula Abdul. And I know every day is different, but just give us maybe what you did yesterday. Oh, well, yesterday, I'm a completely transparent girl. I experienced a really sad loss this week. Monday, I went to Kobe Bryant's memorial, and that was beautiful and bittersweet. And while I was on my way there, I found out that one of my long-haired chihuahuas passed away. And that was hard. She's been a miracle. She had pancreatic cancer and was told she'd have six weeks to live. And that was 16 years ago. She's 19 and she passed. So I mean, we were, she was a miracle every day. But yesterday morning at 4 a.m., my little teacup Yorkie passed away. So two dogs in two days and Kobe's memorial. It's been one of those weeks where I try to
Starting point is 00:06:26 put things in a proper perspective. And, you know, we look at a celebration, even with Kobe and everyone there, that memorial was a beautiful celebration and send off for Kobe and Gigi. And everyone there spoke beautifully, gave beautiful eulogies. There wasn't a dry eye in the house. Performances were beautiful. And then I reflected on how beautiful it was to be a mommy to my little dogs. Tinkerbell was with me for 19 years and then I just lost Charity. She had a heart attack yesterday morning and she was turning 13.
Starting point is 00:07:06 That's devastating. You know, one of my worst fears, we have two chihuahuas and we have Tinkerbell. Ours is named Pixie and she's almost 15, almost 15 years old. If something happens to that dog, I am going to be a mess. It's such an enormous, profound loss that you feel. You know, they say animals only hurt you when they leave. It's, they leave. They're your children. They're your extended family. And they're that unconditional love that no matter what, they cheer you up. And if people that don't have chihuahuas or don't understand, it's a whole different thing. Because I've had big dogs my whole life and she got chihuahuas.
Starting point is 00:07:39 It's a whole different thing. And I've never been more in love with a pet than this chihuahua, these two chihuahuas. Mine too. And I'm going to have in love with a pet than this chihuahua, or these two chihuahuas. Mine too. And I'm going to have to show you pictures of my dogs before we leave here. We have to share pictures. So that is the extreme one end of my life, is always trying to find the celebration and things that are very, very painful. And then on the busy days of my life, they're filled with always getting some kind of workout in during the day. It depends on my sleeping pattern because when I'm doing my residency in Las Vegas, I don't leave the state.
Starting point is 00:08:19 It's a two-hour show. I get off the stage at 10 o'clock, do meet and greets. I don't get back to the hotel till 1230. And it takes me hours to decompress. So I have to learn to adjust my sleep. But I try to get at least six hours of sleep a day. Is there any other wellness things you do when you're feeling sad, like you're feeling this week?
Starting point is 00:08:38 Is there like a meditation or anything else? Yes, gratitude. You know, meditations on gratitude and counting your blessings and being grateful for the love that you have in your life and the love that you've been able to provide. Also, laughter. You know, when I'm sad, I immediately look for laughter, whether it's a comedy, you know, a rom-com, or just being around my family and friends that I love and laugh. And, you know, you have to be around people that make you feel like you're rising to the occasion and always like trying to be the best version of yourself. And that's sometimes very difficult to
Starting point is 00:09:18 do because things that, you know, the obstacles and the ups and downs that we go through in our life can tend to bring us down and to dwell on it. But that never gets you anywhere positive. So it's kind of like shifting the paradigm and deciding what am I going to do right now to take me out of that? And it just, it's just a shift, a paradigm shift of saying, I choose to do something right now that's going to make me feel better. You're so right. I mean, like the things that happen in our life, like that, they have great impact. But I think what has lasting impact is when we sit and just dwell and dwell and dwell. And so many people, there's a lot of young people listening, they can't get off a subject, right? If something tragic happens, they just sit there and think and think and think. And it's like,
Starting point is 00:09:52 they're in their own head. And it's, they're taking something that's terrible and making it much worse. And they're suffering much longer than they need to. And then what, you're absolutely right. And then what I find is that when something's uncomfortable or sad or painful or embarrassing, it's like we tend to try to run away from that feeling right away because it's so uncomfortable. lean into the pain. Don't run from the pain. So if you're fearful, lean into the fear. Because if you learn to get comfortable in the uncomfortable, it goes by relatively quickly. But if you keep running away and thinking about running away, dwelling on it, you're never giving the chance to even see how quickly it can pass. So I would say learn to get comfortable in the uncomfortable because lean into it as opposed to run away from it. What are some big things and small things that you do to maintain your energy? I mean, I feel like you have so much energy and what you're
Starting point is 00:10:53 doing to, I mean, to be out until 12 o'clock doing meet and greets and then going home and I mean, that's a lot. It's a lot, but you know, when you love what you do, it's definitely work. But when you love what you do, you don't mind it because it's so gratifying and it's humbling that you get to do what you love to do. And I'm grateful for that. You know, I don't take anything with my career for granted. I don't take the people I love for granted and the things that I love. And I love performing. I love connecting with people. I think like, you know, I love performing, but what I really love and thrive on is connecting with people. That's, you know, performing is the icing on the cake.
Starting point is 00:11:32 It's just what I need and what feeds my soul is being able to connect. We need to talk coffee for a second, okay? Specifically, ground mushroom coffee. This coffee has lion's mane in it. If you are at home, which most of you are, and you are trying to kick a caffeine habit, this is for you. You guys know we have been a fan of Four Sigmatic forever, and Michael is specifically a huge fan of their ground mushroom coffee with lion's mane. I've been known to steal a cup or two in the mornings too. I feel like this really helps me not drink too much caffeine. And this one
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Starting point is 00:13:27 Guys, try the ground mushroom coffee. I am telling you, it's legit. It'll give you a little zing. With that, let's get back to Paula. When you think about your career, because you've had a very long, successful, prosperous career, there's a lot of young people starting out
Starting point is 00:13:40 and they're starting things with social and all these different channels popping up. They're somewhat in the public eye. It's different scales. But when you think about career longevity, and it's something I'm interested in now because I'm working with a lot of young people that are starting out, what do you think it takes to have the type of longevity and success that you've had? Because you've been doing this a long time in the public eye with success. And that's something that I think people are having trouble contextualizing. If you're building a
Starting point is 00:14:04 personal brand or something that's you, it's not just what happens this year and next year. It's like, how do you stretch that throughout your life? That's really an interesting question. And there's so many different answers to it. But I kind of feel lucky that I started building my career before the internet. You had to work extremely hard. You didn't have the ability to be
Starting point is 00:14:25 you had the exposure so it was like pull your sleeves back and you know do the grind it wasn't like one day you went viral and then no you don't that doesn't happen so it was it was learning the value of working hard and the reward that how it pays off, and the stick to it-ness. Because with the internet, what's been a blessing is that things can happen overnight because of going viral and exposure. But I think the good old fashioned way of like building the foundation, doing the work,
Starting point is 00:15:00 seeing step by step little positive results, it's like you get to go on that road and then you get to keep looking back and pretty soon you don't see where you started. But it's that journey. I hate saying the journey, but it truly is. I mean, you know, also you combine that with wisdom and experience. I learned how to, you know, accept rejection and the hard work of not giving up because my odds were in my favor if I kept suiting up and showing up. And, you know, there was no other way to try to figure that out. You had to do the step by step. I didn't climb any conventional ladder to success. I kind of broke my own mold and
Starting point is 00:15:44 created my own path because I never was the obvious choice. I knew that as a child. I was born three months premature. I weighed 2.8 pounds. I had complete turned in hips, hip dysplasia. For a dancer, you have to have turned out. So everything was a fight and a struggle. I had a broken windpipe and collapsed lungs. So for the first two and a half years of my life, I mainly spent it passed out, fainted. Because anytime I'd wake up and I'd go to cry, I'd inhale and I passed out. So it's like the fact that I was tenacious and wouldn't take no for an answer. And my dad taught me this as I was a little girl. He'd say, get over here. God damn it. You're an aptal. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:16:25 Like I knew, God damn it was good. He said, you can do whatever you want to do. And remember, when people say no, it's just the beginning of a negotiation. That's my dad talking as a little girl. I would like your dad. Oh, my dad was like, he was great. And my mom provided the beautiful tough love because she worked in the industry for film presidents, studio presidents. So she saw so many young girls trying to make it.
Starting point is 00:16:53 And she'd say, no, you're going to go to law school or you're going to go to medical school. And for me, when I was four years old, I saw Singing in the Rain. I was sitting down with my family watching MGM musical. I discovered Gene Kelly. And at four years old, apparently I stood up, walked to the TV set, said, this is my dad. My dad said, no, I'm your father. He can be your TV dad. I kissed the TV screen and said, I'm going to be that. And I knew that was my calling at a very, very young age. So I learned to like, you know, with things that were the obstacles I had growing up and not having breath control and not having the ability of a body that worked in sync as to become a dancer. I was a fighter.
Starting point is 00:17:36 You know, I did it with just working hard and believing in myself when no one else did. And then I know who would have ever thought that becoming a Laker girl would be my foray into the entertainment business. It's pretty wild. And what was the prep before becoming a Laker girl? Were you taking dance lessons every single day? Like what went into becoming a Laker girl? Because I know that's wild.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Well, what's wild about it is I certainly did not fit the mold of the cheerleader. Like I don't have legs for days. I wasn't built. And I didn't, you know, cheerleaders were like mostly tall, five foot seven above or teeny and skinny. And because they were the flyers. For me, it was, I love dancing.
Starting point is 00:18:20 So in school, in grade school, in junior high and high school, other than partaking in the winter musicals and the spring musicals, I needed an outlet to dance. And I started taking dance lessons when I was eight years old. And that's really late and old in today's age. Like when I would be on So You Think You Can Dance, Judging. How old are they still? I mean, they're not kids now. You have to be, I think, 16 to enter,
Starting point is 00:18:52 but there would be all these little kids that would come, and we'd let them get on stage and audition. One little girl goes, I'm five. And I go, when did you start dancing? When I was two, I go, why did you wait so long?
Starting point is 00:19:03 Like who? Like people, they're taking dance classes at two. It's crazy that dancers today are little machines. They're like transformers. When I started eight, that was later, and I just fell in love with it. I fell in love with it, and I loved doing the musicals at school. The funny thing is with me fainting, like I would run in gym and I'd faint. I decided that I'm going to become a flautist in the orchestra, which is all breath control.
Starting point is 00:19:31 And it would be up. There she goes. See how long it takes before she comes to again. I mean, how long did that last for? Like until I stopped past or does it? It's just you outgrow it. And it's always been like I had to really concentrate on building up cardiovascular strength and getting back into like what is a day like for me? If I'm preparing for a show, I do the muscle conditioning and the stretching and Pilates and I do free weights.
Starting point is 00:19:57 But I really have to pay attention to get my cardio in because my show is two hours long and it's falls to the wall dancing. And I'm on stage like pretty much an hour and 50 minutes of those two hours. So it's crazy. Holy crap. And when you were performing for the Lakers, how long are you like having to perform? So when I started performing for the Laker girls, the cool thing was, let me tell you how I became a Laker girl. I used to teach dance in cheerleading camps right out of high school, my first year of college. And a few of my friends who were the tall, beautiful, long legs, blonde hair, blue eyes, dancers and cheerleaders came up to me and they looked down at me and said, hey, Paula, you want to come with us to try out to be a Laker girl? And I looked up at them and said,
Starting point is 00:20:44 no, I don't fit the mold. They said, oh, come on, come on, come on. I figured, what the hell do I have to lose? So I brought a dance bag, and I thought everyone else did, but I knew probably I was going to get cut. But I brought different changes of clothing. So five of us were there. Three of us got cut, me included, before we even got to dance,
Starting point is 00:21:04 just based on typing. They just looked at you and said, yeah, that's wrong., before we even got to dance, just based on typing, you know? They just looked at you and said, yeah, that's wrong. Yeah, and I used to stand, sit, like, pose on my toes, like, my skin make me taller. But literally, I got cut. I went into the bathroom. I pulled out another leotard and tights. I now put my hair in a ponytail and entered as my middle name, Julie, and spelled my last name, A-B-B-A-L, Apple. And then I got cut again.
Starting point is 00:21:29 So did the other two girls. So all five of us were cut. And as we were leaving, I said, but can you guys stay one more round? I still have one more outfit. And they were like, no, screw you. And they said, take the bus home. And I literally stayed.
Starting point is 00:21:41 I had one more outfit. I pulled out the old Jean Fonda red and white chevron striped leotard with the blue leg warmer and blue headband and leg warmers. And I put my hair half up, half down. And I entered PJ, Paula Julie. And I spelled my last name Apple. And that third time, I got it. Wow. That third time, I got it. So that's, and that, by having balls to do that and actually having that reckless abandon
Starting point is 00:22:08 and knowing like, there are no rules, you know? That's the key. That's the key. If it's not written in the rules, it's not a rule. That's like, that's another thing my dad taught me. So yeah, I've just always had that ability to kind of just say, how can I come in from the rafters or come in from underneath the cement? And like just figuring out my own way.
Starting point is 00:22:29 It's just not accepting a traditional door. You're just doing your own. Because not all of us are traditional. And, you know, I didn't fit. You know, I was square peg trying to be fit into a round hole and it didn't work. Story of our lives. It's the story of our lives. Out of all the celebrities you've worked with and all the successful people you've been surrounded by and you're so successful what's the commonality
Starting point is 00:22:48 between everyone is there was there one trait that you see across the board that you feel like you also have that is like we all feel like we're frauds i mean i was a laker girl and i was discovered as a choreographer when the Jackson brothers were season ticket holders and they were looking for a choreographer. They didn't know that. That's how that, that's how the relationship started. But wow. And they didn't know that I was also a Laker girl.
Starting point is 00:23:14 So when I met them, I mean, I was 17 and a half turning 18. I lied about my age because you had to be 18. And, you know, that was my first big break. You know, that was crazy. And from that point on, you know, then I got to meet Janet and work with Janet. And then that changed the trajectory of now all of a sudden I have a big career and I got to work with some of the most prolific, amazing people. I mean, you work with everyone. I've worked- Just trying to read your resume here,
Starting point is 00:23:45 it's like, it's endless. Very grateful, knock on wood. When the Jackson family wanted to work with you, what does that feel like? The line I was saying, I'm a fraud. What am I getting? You know, that's like, that was the one thing I remember getting into my white Cherokee Jeep
Starting point is 00:24:01 in the forum parking lot in Inglewood where the Lakers played. And I remember rolling up the window and just crying in the parking lot going, oh my God, what am I going to do? I'm a fraud. I don't know what I'm doing. Because you feel like you couldn't deliver. Well, like why me? It's like there's that weird thing like, why me? And then you have to shift it to, well, why not? You have to believe that you can, and then eventually you really can. So it's like you figure it out. And I feel like that, you know, there's a lot of successful people that have like what we call imposter syndrome, but that's what gives you the kick in the ass and the motivation to just get
Starting point is 00:24:42 better and keep working harder. You know, I feel like if I didn't have humility, I don't know if I'd be successful. I think that we're always here to be a student. And then we end up being teachers. And then we're students again. And it's the gift that keeps on giving. Has there ever been a time in your career where you're just like, I got it. I feel you just like not felt that way. You just feel like, I'm good.
Starting point is 00:25:04 I don't need to learn anymore. There's a fine line. There's a beautiful feeling of knowing that I've got this and I've done the work. I've put in the work where I have practiced, been a student, and I feel good about my preparation. Gene Kelly, when I finally got to meet him, which I'll explain later, goes, you know what? Here's the recipe. It's very simple. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. That's what he said to me. And it's really true. You know, you become great at what we do by doing the work. So, so much so that every day you guys can deliver a different interview. If you keep going by the books or a formula, it becomes not as fun, a little stale. And you don't get to have the great feeling of like, what's today going to be like?
Starting point is 00:25:54 So I think that if you prepare enough, and I know this with performers, with Michael Jackson, working with him in particular, he was so masterful at commitment. And like commitment I've never seen amongst any other entertainer. But his best kryptonite was being able to rehearse over and over and over again. Even when he said, no, no, that was bad.
Starting point is 00:26:22 And I'm going, anyone would wish to have what you say is bad. But it was the methodical over repetition over and over to the point where his performance was so inside and so unbelievably knowledgeable. And he got it so that he could be free and have a different performance every night. Because no matter what happens, he could always fall back to what he kept learning through repetition. And I think that that goes for everyone. You know, when you want to be really great at what you do, it takes a lot of work. Hold up.
Starting point is 00:26:59 I want to take a quick break to talk about how you have some extra time on your hands in quarantine. Don't we all? Don't we all? And guess what? More time means more time to learn. And that is why we are absolutely obsessed with Skillshare. This has been a partner of the Skinny Confidential, him and her, for a while now. And there is a reason. Our whole platform is about bettering yourself, being the best version of yourself, and just making those little habits that make a big difference in the overall success. So for those of you that are not familiar with Skillshare, it is an online learning community with thousands of inspiring classes
Starting point is 00:27:33 for creative and curious people all in one place taught by people like you and me. They have classes from productivity, lifestyle, freelance, entrepreneurship, creative writing, film and video, graphic design, photography, web development, marketing, pretty much everything. So if you're sitting at home right now and you got some extra time and you're wondering, there is one class that I definitely want to recommend that a few readers and listeners have messaged me about. It's called Productivity Masterclass and it's by Thomas Frank. This is one of my favorite places for people to jump into Skillshare because it's something that all of us, anybody that's trying to be productive, which we all are, can immediately jump into with tangible, actual things that you can apply immediately. So whether
Starting point is 00:28:09 that's managing your tasks, setting up your calendar, learning how to take notes, learning how to organize your digital files, getting better at email, this class is really an amazing place to start in Skillshare. And if you're out there and you didn't like the job that you had before quarantine, this is such a great time to go on there and check out their entrepreneurship classes. They have creative writing, they have graphic design, they have marketing, and they even have how to edit your Instagram story video. There's so many skills. Yeah. And we've been talking about this platform for a long time. They've been a partner for years now. And what better way to use it than for free? That's because we have a special offer just for our listeners.
Starting point is 00:28:45 Explore your creativity and get two free months of premium membership at Skillshare.com slash TSC. That's two whole months of unlimited access to thousands of classes for free. Get started and join today by heading to Skillshare.com slash TSC. Guys, we might be hunkered down for a while. So take these next few months and learn some new skills. Let's get back to Paula. Let me ask you this. When there is someone like Michael Jackson or these celebrities that you work with that put so much into their craft, do you think they have to
Starting point is 00:29:12 sacrifice in other areas? Because I just told you I just became a mom. So I'm feeling like, can you have it all? Or do you have to really sacrifice? I think everything comes with sacrifice. Everything that you want to achieve, there is a balance of sacrificing. If I were to be able to talk to my younger self, I would have said, stop being afraid to say no. Because this business makes you fearful of that. Like if I don't say yes, I may not not ever work again somebody else is going to come someone else is going to come along they'll undercut me they'll charge less they're they're if they're more talented now's my chance and and the thing is is that if you say no if it's not something that inside of you that it's not about the money it's about you cannot you cannot not do this job
Starting point is 00:30:02 because you would feel like this is something you so want to do. But when you do things for money, that sometimes works out great. But if you only do it for money, oftentimes it's a letdown. So I always say, you know, do what you're most passionate about. Don't be afraid to say no, because if you're doing the work and you believe in yourself, if you're leaving yourself open to saying yes to something else that you may not have been able to choose. And I say that even with like vacations and family time, you know, things that I sacrifice by working so much that I wish that I would have been more diligent and really understanding not to be fearful of I may not work again, but to be really
Starting point is 00:30:43 mindful of the choices that I make. And the sacrifice is always this. The more success that you have, the more you're going to have more opportunities and more choices. And balance is so important, but we don't really grasp that when we're young. It comes later through wisdom and experience. But when you are married or you have a significant other and then children play a part, it's like a chess game that you have to kind of like choreograph and figure out, okay, if I do this, what am I going to have to let go of? I think people get in trouble with that concept because they think,
Starting point is 00:31:20 you know, they hear this word balance. And so they think, oh, I just got to be balanced, but they don't realize, you know, anything, you want to spend more time with your children, that comes with a sacrifice of maybe your career, right? If you want to do, if you want to go deep, deep into your career, maybe that means less time with your children. And I think as long as you're aware of what those costs are. And also we like at times, I'm not good at that. So I have found that sometimes I need to bring someone into my life that is masterful at that. So there are these life and strategy coaches that really help you. Because when you're going 90 to 100 miles per hour in
Starting point is 00:31:53 your career and life, it's sometimes hard to just stop and compartmentalize things. So I brought people in who can help me choreograph my life a little better. And that's been very valuable to me. I think it's also when you're so in it and you're going that fast and there's so much going on, sometimes people have a hard time stopping and asking themselves like, hey, is this actually really making me happy? Like, because what happens is in society,
Starting point is 00:32:15 say you're having success, you're getting rewarded, you're making money and your career's growing, but you're miserable. Like, and you don't, and you all, like everybody's being like, wow, you're crushing it, she's doing so great. This is just going so well, but you haven't stopped being like, is this actually what I really
Starting point is 00:32:26 want? I think a lot of young people, people in general have a hard time stopping and asking themselves that question. Because we're driven, because we get excited and success is seductive. And you want to, once you experience that, you want to experience more. It's finding people in your life that help keep you grounded and help you stop and smell the roses. Because again, when you're in it and you're going fast, you don't take that time usually to see what you've accomplished and where you began and where you are right now and what's coming next. It's not the easiest thing to do. Millennials, what advice would you give to
Starting point is 00:33:06 them? If you could give one piece of advice with social media, millennials that are hustling, they're entrepreneurial, what's your one piece, your one gem? Okay. We all have feelings. We're all reactive human beings. For as many people that love you, there are equal amount of people that despise you. You can't please everyone. That's why you have to not take things so personally. And I would say this, if you're being critiqued and it's hurtful as you're reading it, put it away for a minute. Do something like make breakfast, make a meal, do something completely different. Then when you have calmed down a little bit,
Starting point is 00:33:48 go back and read it again. And then you can compartmentalize. If someone's attacking my physical looks or just something that's really none of my business, let it go. Yeah, it hurts, but no one's immune to that. But pay attention to the things that are irking you that there's a little bit of truth to it. Because you always can learn and work on
Starting point is 00:34:11 those aspects. Because you know, inside, they're actually a little bit right here. I'm going to work on that. The other stuff that they're saying, that's their opinion, and there's nothing you can do about it. Pay attention to things that can help build you and become better as a human being and your profession. What is your morning routine if you have one? Well, I am far from being like this meticulous, like regimented girl. When I kick into gear, I kick into gear. But, you know, I also do this thing that's not so great. Sometimes I go from zero to 100. Like if I come off of touring or performing, I want to do anything but work my body out. I need my body to recover and rest. Sometimes I take a little bit too much time off
Starting point is 00:34:58 and I feel it the next time I'm starting to gear up again. So I try not to do that as much anymore. And I'm getting much better at it. Because like everything, you can't have all or nothing. And nothing's black or white. It's like learning to live in the gray area. And there's so many different shades of gray that you don't have to be black or white. And it's just finding something that works for you to try to stay in a healthy lifestyle
Starting point is 00:35:26 because that provides a healthy mindset. When I don't take care of my body or if I don't work out, I don't feel good about myself. I don't feel motivated. I feel slovenly. I feel like, what am I doing? I'm like wasting day away. So I give myself time to have my body recover. I catch up on binge watching TV shows that I love.
Starting point is 00:35:51 What's your favorite? Okay, I'm a Bravo freak. So am I. Thank God, because people think I'm a freak that I love Bravo so much, but I really do. My favorite thing is going to Andy Cohen's show. I feel like I'm in heaven in there. But I just, that's the stuff I love to do
Starting point is 00:36:10 when I don't want to think about anything. And then there's such good television right now. There's so many options now. It's hard for me to keep up, you know? There are so many good shows. What's your, okay, so top three shows right now. Oh my gosh. Not like reality.
Starting point is 00:36:22 Let's just say like if you're like scripted shows. Okay. I love Schitt's Creek. Oh, my gosh. Not like reality. Let's just say like if you're like scripted shows. Okay. I love Schitt's Creek. See, we started getting into that. And then we only saw the first four episodes. I think we would like, but it's hard to get her to sit down and binge. So I might have to just do it on my own. You have to.
Starting point is 00:36:34 It's so funny. It is so funny. And I'm so bummed it's the last season. But I'm so happy I got to experience it. And I've met the cast. And they've interviewed me for this last season that they're having I just I get such a kick out of that show the dad and mom I don't know their name I know Eugene Levy yeah and Catherine they're so funny they're brilliant
Starting point is 00:36:57 yeah yeah I want to know about American Idol I'm sure you get asked this all the time is it something that you look back and you're like so happy you did it did you love the gig oh I I'm sure you get asked this all the time. Is it something that you look back and you're like, so happy you did it? Did you love the gig? Oh, I'm extremely grateful and feel blessed that I got to be a part of something that nobody believed in, that changed the trajectory of everyone's lives, including mine. You know, it changed the history of television. Look how many franchises that, I mean, I would say American Idol kicked off multiple franchises, some associated with that, but like that show kicked, I mean, there's so many shows that have that type of format now that basically you guys. And thank God, because there's no shortage of raw untapped talent out there. It's great that these shows exist and that there's
Starting point is 00:37:37 all these formats for people that otherwise would never figure out how can they get on TV. You know, these shows, you go out and you find the talent and it's pretty cool. Don't you ever think, wow, I've launched all these amazing careers. Like there's so many careers that have been launched off this show that wouldn't have been launched. I'm like a proud mama. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:55 Like I'm a mama bear and proud. I feel like, you know, I had the best ticket in the entertainment industry. Every single live show, people were trying to scalp tickets to get in. It was such an amazing experience. And to be sitting there front and center to witness awe-inspiring talent, it's incredible. And to see the success. Individually, we were a part of making these unbelievably talented young kids go on to have blockbuster careers. And the casting of the judges, the energy was so right. Like, it was the perfect cast.
Starting point is 00:38:34 It was luck. Everything just kind of met in the middle of this amazing electricity and energy. And it's not, it was real. I mean, you could see Simon and I despising each other and then hysterically laughing and understanding how we work together. And Randy, you know, the three of us were like, it was just like the perfect combo.
Starting point is 00:39:00 And there was nothing scripted to worry about. As a matter of fact, the things that were scripted usually were jokes that they were playing on me. I was the recipient of all of that stuff that finally through the seasons, the audience started catching on. Oh, they're making her look like pin the tail on the donkey. And I'm the donkey with the big ass. You know, that's what would happen. I would be like hearing like really crazy stories. And I'd be like, who are you talking about? Me?
Starting point is 00:39:29 And the missiles are flying. I go, that's not true. Boom, boom, boom. And like, it's like, I don't have any brothers. So I learned what it was like to fend for myself. That show is gold. All the shows, though, that you've been on have been gold. I just feel like American Idol, to look back and really just see people like Kelly Clarkson.
Starting point is 00:39:48 Is there one person that you look at and you're like, wow, they've had a really strategic career? Well, I think that we help discover them and give them that platform. It's what happens after they've achieved that success. Surround yourself with good people, good people, not just your friends or family, good business people that are going to help guide you and that respect your opinion and that you respect theirs. It's hard because sometimes you got to get rid of friends and family when it comes to your business life. It's knowing that if they're not right to be involved in your life that way professionally to know then it doesn't feel right, I must make a shift and change.
Starting point is 00:40:28 And that's hard, but it's important. I mean, the craziest part of American Idol was the fact that they were living in a bubble. They, you know, everything was taken away from them. You know, social media was just really starting. Message boards were happening. And they learned that they have to stay off of really starting. Message boards were happening. And they learned that they have to stay off of that. And the success was happening.
Starting point is 00:40:53 You know, what I loved is that if you were in the top 10, each one of you had millions and millions of solid fans. It's what do you do with that when the show's over? So you didn't necessarily need to win. You already had a large number. Jennifer Hudson, Chris Daughtry, Adam Lambert. It's were out, you already had a large numbers. Jennifer Hudson, Chris Daughtry, Adam Lambert. It's so relevant though to even now, because some people, like you said, go viral and then they don't have the tools to maintain and grow and be strategic. It's kind of the same in a way. It's like, you have to really surround yourself with the right people,
Starting point is 00:41:20 have the hustle, have the talent. It's like a, it's a recipe. Well, it's something that I, you know, sitting in this seat and running this thing, and we have a lot of shows here and it's, it's a conversation I'm always having. It's like, you know, as a network, I'm not so excited about doing something for three or four months. I'm more excited about like, what does a career look like for five, 10, 20, 30 years down the line? Because if not, it's like, what are we all building here? Like it's, it's, it's, it's not about a flash in the pan quick. It's like, what is the next project that I'm going to be going into or developing while I'm doing this
Starting point is 00:41:50 so that I can be at my best and have a natural flow right into the next thing that you're doing. I don't like a transactional mindset. It's like, hey, this is going to last for three, because it takes so much work and so much effort and then people are unhappy after on both sides. And it's like, for me, it's what are we building?
Starting point is 00:42:07 What's the brand? What's the longevity? And again, it's the stick-to-it-ness and believing in yourself and not waiting for other people to make it happen for you. That is so true. With your Vegas residency, what are some beauty tips that you're doing? Is there like a facial that you love? What eyelash are you wearing? I want to know all the specifics.
Starting point is 00:42:27 I am a stickler with skin regimen. That's the one thing like I don't do zero to 100. When I always, you know, I take my makeup off and really cleanse my face. I start in the morning with a great regimen. And I don't have one particular product that I stick to because my skin gets used to it and adapts to it. And then it loses its potency, like just like we need shifts, you know. And so I have really good skincare products. When I was gearing up for my residency, you know, I was at that point where I was interested in like what are like the new aesthetic treatments laser treatments
Starting point is 00:43:06 and like trying to navigate what's out there it's like Disneyland and like when you're stepping into the park where am I starting what what what what ride am I going to go on first when you start looking into all the treatments and new developing, you know, medical companies that are creating these, you know, products and procedures, I did my research and, you know, we found each other, this company InMode, which I think is the game changer in, you know, innovative technology. They're doing so much great work and new developing radio frequency laser treatments and I saw the results from the before and afters and it was subtle but very clear very clear and I wanted I wanted to tighten up my jawline I'm not ready for a facelift I don't want to do that and
Starting point is 00:44:02 I want any option I can have but that. So I think that the option of working with InMode and their technology was what worked for me. And I researched, okay, I have no downtime. So I need minimal to no downtime. And I literally, I did this machine that they have called FaceType because I wanted to have a sleeker profile jawline. And I was in and out, no scarring, no invasive. It's so minimal. And I was out the next day. Can men get it done?
Starting point is 00:44:37 Absolutely. Why are you asking that question? No, not for you. I have a friend that keeps talking to me about it. Of course she's not talking about you. She might be. Your jawline's looking good. She manipulates me into all sorts of different things, so I have to...
Starting point is 00:44:47 No, but I have a friend that's a guy that always talks about his jawline, and he's 33 years old, so I feel like he needs to try this. It's perfect for men, for women, and it's subtle, but it makes a difference. I love the results. And then they have this machine called Body Type. And for me, I work out a lot. I'm a dancer, but I don't like my triceps. They're not developed enough, and I wanted more tone.
Starting point is 00:45:12 So I tried the Body Type on my arms. I'm like, you can feel the guns here. You can feel the definition. Bam. So it tightens everything. Yeah. I just did it on my arms, and then I did the face tight on my jaw. And I became the ambassador of the company because the results were wonderful, and I can't recommend it more to all my friends.
Starting point is 00:45:34 See, here in Hollywood, a lot of famous people don't want to share any information. It's like almost a stigma. But thank God for the Kardashians who've moved the needle needle and you can watch the laser treatments that they're having. And it helps educate. That's a big thing. It's like educating, just understanding what's out there. We've had a lot of different doctors on this show to talk about these subjects. Yes.
Starting point is 00:45:58 And God bless them for doing that because, you know, you don't have to go under the knife to get really good you know results and i i just i love this company i i love the secrets tell us all the secrets well that's a big secret because that to me was major like who doesn't want a tighter jawline exactly exactly who wants gobble gobble no not um but they also have great maintenance technology too. So there's tons of stuff that are out there, but they have great, when you get the face type, they have this machine called Evoke, which looks like you're wearing heads. That's like you're a DJ and it just has radio frequency
Starting point is 00:46:37 and it's painless. There's no downtime. You leave the office and go about your day and work. That's maintenance. And then for your body, it's called Evolve. and they they do like you've seen companies that do like where you feel like you've done a 2000 sit-ups and to think their technology is like more cutting edge than what's out there so that's a secret there that's a tip that is a good secret my plan is that i hang on to life long enough that when this technology all comes, like I can,
Starting point is 00:47:05 maybe I'll get a robot arm or a leg and I'll just wait to, you know. I'm with you. You know what I'm saying? It's going to happen. But my joints,
Starting point is 00:47:11 like the wear and tear as a dancer, like I want a bionic leg, knee. I think it's going to, we got a little bit more time. I heard they're making bionic eyes.
Starting point is 00:47:19 So if your sight's going, you can put a, you know, it's going to happen. What is a drugstore beauty product that's super cheap that you've used forever?
Starting point is 00:47:25 My cleanser is Cetaphil. And I've used it for decades. Like in drugstore, the company Bond 7. Bond 7. Yeah. London-based company, I believe. Great results. I even use products like Avon that has some really good stuff.
Starting point is 00:47:42 So you don't have to always spend a fortune, you know. There are great products out there, especially with Instagram. And you see all these different products that are out there and they're not expensive. You can try them out. You can get like sample size and it's like navigating your own way. Can you give us a healthy food tip? Like, is there something that you eat all the time that you think it's just really good for you? I listen to what my body wants and needs because pretty much I've always been that way. I've been very in tune as a dancer, like connecting with my body. I do everything in moderation. I don't follow a diet. I don't believe in following a diet. I just
Starting point is 00:48:23 believe in creating a healthy lifestyle. So there's times where my body is just craving more plant-based food. And usually it's when I'm gearing up to perform because previous injuries, there's a lot of acid that builds up in your body. So you want to, you know, have a kind of an alkaline type of meal plan to keep the inflammation down. But, you know, there's times when I wake up in the morning and I don't feel like eggs or oatmeal or avocado toast. Sometimes I feel like I want Brussels sprouts or I listen to whatever I want. I don't have a rule. And if I don't feel like eating breakfast in the morning, I will start eating at lunchtime. I don't follow a specific plan.
Starting point is 00:49:10 Seems the theme of your life, no rules, break all the rules. If it's not written in rules, there are no rules. You've done it all. You're doing it all still. What's next? It's obviously the Vegas residency, but outside, what else is going on? Developing some television projects. I'm in the new Impractical Jokers movie, which is hysterical.
Starting point is 00:49:30 Tomorrow, it's opening up in more theaters. It's at the Grove. It's at the Hollywood Arclight. It's at Universal Studios. It's a funny, funny movie. Those guys are, if you've never watched the Impractical Jokers. We're going to watch it. It's on TruTV.
Starting point is 00:49:45 Their TV show is hysterical. And this is their first feature film. And Chris Henchey is with Funny or Die and married to Brooke Shields. He directed it. And these guys are four lifelong friends since high school. And they just do everything and anything possible to embarrass one another. And it is laugh out loud funny. And the movie is hysterical.
Starting point is 00:50:08 We leave every guest with this question. What is a book, a podcast, or a resource, it could be a television show, that you could recommend to our audience that you think would bring them immense value? I go back and I read The Four Agreements. Ooh, that's a good one. Which I can, it's no matter when you pick it up, reading it again, it's like reading it again for the first time. I feel like that's a very valuable, valuable book.
Starting point is 00:50:32 Podcasts, there are so many good ones out there right now. I mean, I did, I listened to the Dear John or what was that? Dirty John. Dirty John, not Dear John. That's a movie. We had Tara, the woman who actually killed the guy in the studio. She, you know, that's wild. That's a whole wild story.
Starting point is 00:50:47 Yeah, there's so many good ones. I'm just getting into podcasts more because being stuck in traffic, I don't, you know, listening to music can get a little, I just find it fascinating and it eats up the time. You're not realizing you're stuck in traffic. Well, listen, if you ever need a side hustle, because there's a lot of podcasts here, what I can do is I'm going to say, listen, I'm going to listen to the pitches on my side
Starting point is 00:51:08 and I'm going to have you judge one to 10 if they get signed to the network. I'm really good at that. I know you are. I'm really good at that. I believe it. Podcast idol. Yeah, that's the one.
Starting point is 00:51:18 Do you know that I used to predict, and people wouldn't believe me, but I used to predict who was going to be in the top two who would win who would be in the top 10 i would self-address get the envelope notarized and then i'd read it on entertainment tonight i was right every season except for chris daughtry so you have a knack for spotting talent that's the talent that's the new bar i love it dear me i would say if paul abdul says that you can make knack for spotting talent. That's a talent. That's the new bar here at Dear Mead. I'm going to say
Starting point is 00:51:45 if Paula Abdul says that you can make the pass then I'll sign them. That's the bar. I love that. Thank you. Where can everyone find you? Pimp yourself out
Starting point is 00:51:52 your Instagram. Give us a website at Paula Abdul. Yep. And paulabdul.com. Okay. And do you want my social security number?
Starting point is 00:52:01 Where can we go see how do we see your Vegas residency? Well, I'm going to be back in summer, but because I have not solidified completely the deal, I can't name the hotel. Okay. Coming soon.
Starting point is 00:52:15 Yes. We'll keep everyone updated. We'll follow. Paula, it was such a joy to have you in the studio. Thank you so much for coming on. I had a wonderful time. You guys are amazing. Now I need to tighten my neck.
Starting point is 00:52:25 No, you don't. Hope you guys love that episode with Paula. Just to let you know, we are getting ready to prep the nurses boxes. So the Skinny Confidential team is doing boxes for nurses. If you're a nurse or you know a nurse, tag yourself or them on my latest Instagram at the Skinny Confidential. The team is picking a my latest Instagram at the Skinny Confidential. The team is picking a bunch of nurses in the Skinny Confidential community to send skincare and beauty goodies to. Not a giveaway. We just want to send out a bunch of boxes. As always, thank you for listening. Make sure you've rated and reviewed the podcast on iTunes, and we will see you on Thursday for a mini little episode. This episode is brought to you by Skillshare.
Starting point is 00:53:06 Skillshare is an online learning space offering more than 20,000 courses. I'm currently using the platform to learn a bunch of different skills that we have talked about many times on this show. This is a tool for brands and individuals to acquire new skills or take novice skills to an expert level. Think of it as the Netflix for learning skills online. So join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare today with a special offer just for our listeners. Get two months of Skillshare for free. That's right.
Starting point is 00:53:30 Skillshare is offering the skinny confidential him and her listeners two months of unlimited access to over 25,000 classes for free. To sign up, go to Skillshare.com slash TSC. Again, go to Skillshare.com slash TSC to start your two months now. That's Skillshare.com slash TSC. Again, go to Skillshare.com slash TSC to start your two months now. That's Skillshare.com slash TSC. This episode is brought to you by Four Sigmatic, one of our favorite companies, one of our favorite sponsors. Four Sigmatic specialize in superfoods, medicinal mushrooms, and adaptogenic herbs, and they make drinking mushrooms and superfoods delicious and easy to do with their mushroom coffees, mushroom superfood blends, and mushroom elixirs. If you're looking
Starting point is 00:54:04 for a coffee alternative to switch up your caffeine intake, Four Sigmatic has the blends for you. They're all delicious. Just open a pack and add to hot water. They don't taste like mushrooms. And like always, we have a special offer just for the him and her listeners. Go to foursigmatic.com forward slash skinny and enter promo code skinny at checkout for 15% off your entire order.

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