The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Bethenny Frankel On Strategies For Success, How To Transform Your Life, Highs & Lows, & Lessons From Reality TV

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

#821: Join us as we sit down with Bethenny Frankel – self-made businessperson, TV producer, podcast host, multiple New York Times bestselling author, philanthropist, social media powerhouse, & most ...importantly, a mother.  As a trailblazer for female founders, Bethnenny has redefined success as a self-made business mogul who has disrupted industries from reality television, to the beverage & lifestyle space with her Skinygirl empire, to venture capital & so much more! In this episode, Bethenny shares her journey of building a brand from the ground up, her sharp business instincts, & the lessons she learned along the way. She opens about the highs & lows of entrepreneurship, the importance of authenticity in business, & how she continues to evolve in an ever-changing landscape. Tune in for a candid, no-BS conversation with one of the most dynamic & outspoken women in business today!    To Watch the Show click HERE   For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM   To connect with Bethenny Frankel click HERE   To connect with Lauryn Bosstick click HERE   To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE   Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE   Get your burning questions featured on the show! Leave the Him & Her Show a voicemail at +1 (512) 537-7194.   This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential   Head to the HIM & HER Show ShopMy page HERE and LTK page HERE to find all of Michael and Lauryn’s favorite products mentioned on their latest episodes.   Join Bethenny’s BStrong Mission at Bethenny.com/BStrong – providing emergency assistance to people in crisis, an initiative in partnership with the global empowerment mission.    Visit Bethenny.com to learn more about Bethenny, shop The List, & tune into her podcast, Just B with Bethenny.    This episode is sponsored by The Skinny Confidential   Optimize your daily beauty routine. Shop The Skinny Confidential Mouth Tape at shoptheskinnyconfidential.com.   This episode is sponsored by Cymbiotika   Go to Cymbiotika.com/TSC for 20% off + free shipping.   This episode is sponsored by Fatty15   You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/SKINNY and using code SKINNY at checkout.   This episode is sponsored by Jolie    Head to jolieskinco.com/SKINNY to try it out for yourself with FREE shipping.   This episode is sponsored by Branch Basics   Visit branchbasics.com/SKINNY15 and use code SKINNY15 at checkout for 15% off + free shipping your first order of your Premium Starter Kit today.    This episode is sponsored by Ritual   Start a Ritual that’s backed by science, without the B.S. Ritual is offering 25% off your first month at ritual.com/SKINNY.   Produced by Dear Media

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The following podcast is a Dear Media production. An icon is greasing us with her presence today on the show. Bethany Frankel. She is a self-made business person, TV producer, podcast host, multiple New York Times best-selling author, philanthropist, social media influencer, and most importantly, a mother. She is a superstar powerhouse role model example, in my opinion, for women. And it was so fun this episode to ask her how she deals with mom guilt, her beauty tips,
Starting point is 00:00:59 her housewife secrets. We also got a little juice on the TikTok of it all. And also we learned about her branding, how she thinks about business. And of course she was brutally honest, which was so welcome. Bethany Frankel, welcome to the Him and Her Show. This is the skinny confidential, Him and Her.
Starting point is 00:01:20 Bethany Frankel. What were you just saying? Before. I noticed when men interview you, Bethany Frankel. What were you just saying before? I noticed when men interview you, there's this undertone of like, they're trying to compete with you. Is that what you said during the break before the show? You use the term they try to big dick you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:01:38 They play with a baby and you it's weird. I thought it was creepy too, but no, it's fine. He said it. You did it. Yeah. Okay. Do try to big dick you with like Money and things have to do you know what I'm talking about? I don't but I'd like to hear about I don't I don't notice The difference between men and women I know it sounds crazy, but everyone's like how is it difficult for you? I'm like, I don't know. I thought I was a man. I don't know like I never noticed any of these things
Starting point is 00:02:00 So I want you to educate me explain like I think when you go on someone's podcast who's famous and has a lot of money, let's say. Okay. And it's a guy, they're a little bit intimidated by you, and so what they do is instead of interviewing you, they end up trying to tell you what they have. I have to fucking go, because this is my dating life. They have to first, they have to make sure that, like,
Starting point is 00:02:22 you know that they're on the level. I kind of wish they would do it more in dating actually now that I think, because I'm not dating the guys on the level. So the other guys come in with like a decent resume and then all of a sudden they freak out at like who's calling me on the day to day and the deals that I'm doing. So I'm absolutely fucked. I'm fucked in my personal life. I don't care on the podcast.
Starting point is 00:02:44 That's fine. They can big dick me. I can out big't care on the podcast. That's fine. They can big dick me. I can out big dick anybody on a podcast. That's okay. Not that I'm gonna try to out big dick you. You can out big dick me. It's okay. I wish that I would like them to... I would like to be out big dicked on a date. That's what I'd like.
Starting point is 00:02:57 That's what I'm looking for. That's gonna be on my dating profile. Please out big dick me. What do they come in? They're just like too submissive or they're shy or they're intimidated? No. Threatened?
Starting point is 00:03:09 No, they're just like they're normal successful people. And then I realized that's not going to work. So what is it? Like, what is your ideal dating partner look like? Like, what do they need to do? I'm glad you asked. I've been honing this like a piece of coal into a diamond. So you're OK. So I'm really glad you asked. I've been honing this like a piece of coal into a diamond. So you're, okay.
Starting point is 00:03:27 So I'm really glad you asked. So right now what I've, is that someone has to be in sort of an adjacent business. They have to understand what I'm doing-ish. Like they're not a Martian, but they should not be in this business that I'm in or even adjacent. Because here's what happens. I'll be dating someone and they're successful. not a Martian, but they should not be in this business that I'm in or even adjacent because here's what happens. I'll be dating someone and they're successful. They've done successful things, very successful things.
Starting point is 00:03:51 But let's say they just want to like dabble. They want to maybe get a podcast or they want to talk to somebody about investing in a company or they're interested in some VC stuff. It becomes a situation where people are coming to me and handing me on a silver platter VC stuff because they also know that I could move the needle. So not only do I fit what this person who has money, this normal rich person has, where they can invest in something,
Starting point is 00:04:13 but the person doesn't really want them. They want me because I could move the needle. Or like, I could just call anybody and get any TV show or get on any like news show. So it becomes, someone has to be from a different planet, but successful on their planet where they think this stuff that I'm doing is silly. It's complimentary, but it's not like crossing over because essentially
Starting point is 00:04:37 you get into like a competition with them and then they feel bad about themselves. It's not. It's a subtle competition. We're not actually competing, but it makes them think more about what they're doing and they feel worse about themselves. Yes. So that part and that has happened with the wealthiest of people. And it's so shocking to me because I come in with a high bar and then they're like, one person said to me, wow, no, like you really, you really have inspired me. You've really got me thinking.
Starting point is 00:05:00 And now I really want to do this. And what do you think of this? And now we're in a mentorship program or or and this is a wealthy, successful person. Okay. Like well over a hundred million dollars. Okay. Well, so then another person was just like, no, I just feel like the people, you know, and the opportunities you have and like, I had a hit, but like I haven't
Starting point is 00:05:20 had my next thing and now I really want to find my next. So like now we're in a different version of a mentorship program. So it's not very sexy. It's it's just it makes me feel self conscious because I start not saying what I'm doing because I feel like it's going to intimidate them. Or I start I start watering it down. I'd be like, no, yes. What you're doing is the same exact thing as what I'm doing.
Starting point is 00:05:40 Like we're the same. Like I want to I feel bad about what I'm doing. So I want to either gatekeep it or like rise them up and like babysit them and make them feel like what they're doing is the same. And like, and then I start to include them in things. Oh, well, no, this, this investment would be amazing. And I think you'd be amazing. And I start putting them on with people might for my team because like, I start to think they'd add value,
Starting point is 00:06:03 but I'm just doing it because I wanna like give them an opportunity. I feel like you need someone who's really quietly confident. Yeah. It's a very particular person. Word. And the problem is you can't really call your girlfriends for advice of where to go,
Starting point is 00:06:19 cause it's such a unique, you're so driven and so ambitious. And you say it on your podcast too. You're like, on to the next, on to the next. Like you're moving, you're grooving. And I think it's gotta take a real strong guy. It's too bad you're not a lesbian. No, because then it would take all your clothes.
Starting point is 00:06:35 Although I have so many now because of this new gatekeeper, this new influencer stuff. So that would be, yeah, no, I don't think I'd be good. I also don't like the hardware. I don't think I'd be a good lesbian, but we like the hardware. I don't think I'd be a good lesbian, but we're getting close. We've got a lot of good prospects right now. We're getting closer to the nucleus of this situation.
Starting point is 00:06:52 It's a diamond in the rough. I don't know. It's out there. It's out there. Oh, I know. I'm not worried. It's out there. We just got to... I feel like you have a line. What? You have a line of guys. Like, you just got to... I have a nice little roster.
Starting point is 00:07:06 Yeah. It's okay. I think that's great. We'll see. Where did this personality come from? Have you always had this personality since you were a little girl? I think so.
Starting point is 00:07:14 Yeah, for the most part. And I was raised by, well, I wasn't really raised, but I was surrounded by very interesting, colorful characters of the racetrack, which is a crazy place. You've talked a lot about your childhood on your podcast in the racetrack. What was your childhood like? Explain it to us for someone who has no idea.
Starting point is 00:07:36 It's very hard to explain because it's no two days were the same, but I went to like 13 schools and I was an adult as a child. So I was sort of gambling very young, drinking very young, do drugs young, not a lot, but because I was always sort of in control as an adult, but going to nightclubs very young at the racetrack as like summer camp, hanging out with the jockeys in the jockeys room, like just not where the way, and saw a lot of crazy stuff in the house
Starting point is 00:08:13 that people don't normally see. So I definitely had a very advanced childhood, let's say. And were your parents together? Uh, my, not my mother was with a few people. So she was my real father, then my stepfather, and someone else who wasn't really, I wasn't really around that much. And then my stepfather, I was with him and then I, my mother was away living in Wales, having like an affair. And then she went away to a facility. Like, and so how did you manage that as a child?
Starting point is 00:08:45 Was this something where you kind of like went in or did you start to kind of have exploitive behavior and like lash out or like how do you remember? I was always the way I am now. I'm sure there are like different versions like of more heightened, more manic, more, but I've always been on, like, analytical and in some version of control and managing a situation.
Starting point is 00:09:10 So I never... I've never had a crazy phase. I've never had a promiscuous phase. I've never had a drug phase. I've never had an acting out phase. I... Oddly, I'm pretty well adjusted for a person who had a childhood like I did. Was there somebody in your life when you were younger that kind of was your North Star and kind of helped you manage all of that? No. No, it's always been me.
Starting point is 00:09:30 It's always been like me and my mind and analysis and thinking and processing. I think I've always been attracted to some version of self-help. Do you think that a lot of the way... Literally self-help, like self-help, like me helping that a lot of the way, reasons... Literally self-help, like self-help, like me helping self. So yeah, sorry, what are you going to say? I was just going to say, don't you think that the reason you are the way you are and all these things that you have, a lot of it probably comes from that?
Starting point is 00:09:57 Of course. Yes, yes, for sure. Just like surviving. Yeah. Surviving. What are some happy moments with your mother? Because you've talked about her on kind of both ends. She sounds like she sounds like you didn't know what you were gonna get. Well it's very um
Starting point is 00:10:13 Well you guys have two kids and one on the way. It's very interesting because The way that my daughter really idolizes me the way that she looks up to me The way that my daughter really idolizes me, the way that she looks up to me, and we're very different, and I'm definitely a good mother, so it's not the same, but I remember feeling that way about my mother just because she was so smart, and she was absolutely stunning, and she was just very sharp and quick-witted, and she could take very sharp and quick-witted and she could take over a room.
Starting point is 00:10:48 So I remember being very, like, enamored by that. She had a very mercurial, crazy, dysfunctional, destructive side, self-destructive most, but really just not parental. More, it's like living with some crazy, it's very much like the TV show Firefly Lane. I've never seen it. Yeah, it's with, I forgot, what was her name?
Starting point is 00:11:16 That's gonna drive me nuts. Guys, what's the woman's name? The actress that had a bad reputation for a minute. What's her name? Catherine Heigl. And there's another character in there that has like a mother that's just not, you know, like a kid, a child from the 60s.
Starting point is 00:11:32 So anyway, my friend was like, they stole your life story for that show. So it was just crazy times. And it was the 70s also, so that does account for a little bit of it, but you know, a lot of craziness for sure. Where did your work ethic start? Do you remember like your first job?
Starting point is 00:11:51 What were your, your, your, sort of like your ambition? Where does this all come from? I don't think I knew that I was ambitious. And I don't, we didn't have these words like entrepreneurial and little brand and any of this stuff. So I don't think I knew that I was different than anyone else until later when I do have to give Kim Kardashian her flowers for saying most people don't want to work. And I, because I did kind of come at her for that moment because
Starting point is 00:12:17 the way it landed was wrong with like, it was pandemic, I think. And it was like people feeling insulted by it. But I think the essence of what she was saying is true because I just don't think that most people really work that hard. It's not that I don't think it is that I know it. And so I just don't think I thought about it as a kid. Now, looking back, I realize when I wanted to have the party at my house and I went to go work at the bakery and when I was selling things and when I found when my friend told the story that I forgot about that I used to
Starting point is 00:12:48 charge people to come to I would rent hotel rooms of money I didn't have charge people to come and host big parties and you know make money off of it Like I was entrepreneurial young, but I didn't have a name for it And I didn't even know that I was different than anyone else But now looking back I could think of a bunch of different ways of making things, selling things, doing things that were entrepreneurial. But I did not think about it then. I just I guess you were Paris and Nicky's nanny.
Starting point is 00:13:12 And I was Paris and Nicky's nanny. You worked at La Scala. Well, and I worked at La Scala and I worked for Linda and Jerry Bruckheimer. And I worked for Lorne Michaels and I worked for Chris Blackwell and Mark Burr. Like, yeah, I just always, because I've always been a hustler, but that is probably from the racetrack.
Starting point is 00:13:29 And so I don't know where the work ethic comes from. My real father that I didn't spend much time with was a hall of fame horse trainer and he was very driven for one thing, which is very different than me. But, so I don't know. But I think I might have been born this way. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:13:46 You said in one of your podcast episodes that you were, like, trying out and you were going on auditions and you were getting jobs like you're saved by the bell job. But you wanted something where you could play yourself. Which is so funny now with what you do. It's crazy. It's with what I did also. It's gotten even more deep, right? It was crazy on reality TV, which isn't really
Starting point is 00:14:06 totally reality, and you're only playing yourself within the context of what's going on with the other people that's not real life. So you are yourself, but you're yourself as an alien dropped on Mars. That's not really yourself. But so, but it was myself while, you know, battling with Ramona about things that don't matter.
Starting point is 00:14:27 So yeah, so I remember auditioning and saying, I just wish I could be myself. And I thought that that's what hosting was, but then I realized hosting was also like not being yourself. You're kind of scripted and like, hey, what do you wear? Like that's less myself than being even probably in a lifetime movie. So I just find it interesting that it was a foreshadowing
Starting point is 00:14:46 to reality TV, which did not exist then. And TikTok, big time. And TikTok, which is the ultimate reality show. And that's what nobody, that's what people really don't realize. That's why you've kind of won the game, I think, a big part of it. Well, because I really, yes.
Starting point is 00:15:03 And even within TikTok, like there's a whole world of editing and filtering and cutting and producing that's within social media, which I also don't do. Like I'll do something, that Cadillac that got dropped in the driveway, I walked outside, five minutes later, there was a video that was up on the worldwide interwebs.
Starting point is 00:15:21 Like I don't have time for editing my team, if it's maybe for something for a brand or if it's like something long and bulky, it went too long or something was in the middle that I couldn't get out. But I just shoot it like I'm directing it and producing it and editing it and then it's lean and put it up.
Starting point is 00:15:37 I think people don't realize how produced a lot of social media is. Someone was like asking me how I would explain it to my daughter when she's older and I'm gonna tell her it's a movie set. There's there's an actor. There's a director. There's lighting. There's in many cases It's like you can't it's not there's a lot of elements that are not real and I think maybe you coming on the app It was refreshing to a lot of people Well my own good friends that are like, you know
Starting point is 00:16:03 My age are just like talk to each other. What the fuck is she doing? Like they like, I have friends who will be like, Mike, I have a friend who's talking about her friend who I also know who's like, she doesn't like anyone. She hates everyone. But I think and she's a little insecure. She's like, I think she just feels better because of what a fucking train wreck you look like. I'm like, okay, thank you. So I guess people are just shocked that I will am willing to like look like I look on social media. Don't you kinda, I kind of love like looking really ugly for Michael for long periods of time.
Starting point is 00:16:30 And then all of a sudden I dress up. I get that. And then he's like, it's like, remember you married bitch. I get that too. Do you know what I mean? Oh wow, who's that? It's actually not, yeah, like there's,
Starting point is 00:16:39 we're someone that I was dating and then like on the nights that we would go out, if I had like a big thing and I would be decked out, I'd be like, I know, this is really good. So you'll live off of this for a while. It's like fucking rotisserie chicken. We're gonna make a stock, we're gonna make chicken salad, we're gonna eat the big bread.
Starting point is 00:16:56 Yeah. Yeah, but if I did that, you would be. Yeah, no, well, there's a ton of double standards. I've been talking about the Ix all over my social media. Yeah, if you ate overnight oats, your penis would shrink instantly. Overnight, like, no. No, no overnight, don't even talk about it.
Starting point is 00:17:10 You've made overnight oats before. Wow. It's been a while. Yeah, and don't do it regularly. One, and not even once. This is not me bigging you. You actually bought a contraption to make overnight oats. There was a period of time when I thought
Starting point is 00:17:21 that that was something you did, but didn't last long. And she could do, she could bathe in overnight oats, overnight. She could sleep in overnight oats overnight, but you can't even look at them. Yeah. And you can't order them. I do like looking ugly for a while and then reminding you that is a good tip. I don't think you can look hot all the time. It's kind of boring. It's like having pizza every day. You're going to get sick of it. Right. 100%. What was your- No, or just look, right. Or if he starts like slacking just look? unattractive and then just look attractive when other people are around right a really torture I don't keep I don't slack. I don't know. I don't suck. No, he doesn't suck. He's kind of like he's got his own style going
Starting point is 00:17:53 Okay, what was your first touch with reality television? The apprentice right right with Marsha Martha Stewart correct. What was that like it was? unlike anything I had ever done, because I remember the first time walking into that loft and looking into the camera and then be like, you don't look into the camera. Like it just was it was like gazing into the camera. It was amazing because it was a true competition. And it was like, get the fuck out of my way, everybody.
Starting point is 00:18:24 Like it was a true competition. And it was like, get the fuck out of my way, everybody. Like, it was a true competition. And so it was a good training for just like this industry life. Like, you just don't look to the left or the right. Like, you're looking at that wall in front of you. You don't worry about what anyone else is doing, creating, whatever. And so and also
Starting point is 00:18:39 like business and other parts of life, you are you have to get your footing. You know, the first couple of tasks, you don't realize where you are, you're sleep deprived, you're not alert, and then all of a sudden, you just kick in. And who can survive? Like some people are good closers, which I certainly am,
Starting point is 00:18:57 but some people peak in the beginning, just like people who peak in high school, look at them now. So it's a marathon, baby. And how did you know all of this going into it? Is it just innate? I think I've always had a fairly confident opinion of myself. I think I've always thought I was going somewhere and doing something.
Starting point is 00:19:15 But I was also in my late 30s and it still wasn't happening. I still don't know that I ever doubted it. I never thought of age and I still what you have two choices. You'd be positive and you think something's coming and happening. Something bad happens. You brush yourself off and that's what you do. That's I've always been like that. I like I say on this show, like, you know, over the years, I've said, like the way that I talk to myself sometimes is like borderline.
Starting point is 00:19:37 Like, have you heard the way in my head? You know, this guy's like airy. But I always but I think if I don't talk like that, nobody else is going to do it for me. And I'm like, I'm my personal biggest fan and I feel like that's what I feel. And I feel, you know, people apologize for that. And I think when I look at you, I can, and you're telling the story and I'm thinking about guys you date, like you're so unapologetically that way. To me, it's very refreshing.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Yeah, I don't think we should be dumbing anything down. The whole world will be a better place. But you know, people try to do that to themselves. They try to, and they like, you know, try to diminish their accomplishments. Totally. You know, like, or they try to not say how try to, uh, and they like, you know, try to diminish their accomplishments. Totally. You know, like, or they try to not say how they, you know, and they like, they're scared to like cheerlead for themselves
Starting point is 00:20:10 or even dare I say brag in order of maybe the way they might come off to people. But I'm like, well, if you're not going to be confident and you're not going to have that kind of inner cheerleader, like who the hell else is? Well, also, so there's a couple of versions of that. So there's one person recently I was speaking to who was talking about good things happening. They're like, oh no They think they're gonna jinx it. I'm like, what do you know? Like what do you mean? No, there's a there's a set of waves There could be one wave but there could be ten. So double down triple down. You're in it now
Starting point is 00:20:36 You're in the fucking zone. Keep going. Like what do you mean now bad thing? But I always think the wolves are at the end of the bed. So I am always ready I'm always I'm not I don't get too big for my britches. I don't like when things are going too well. I like there to be a certain fair and level level, but I don't like, not that I'm done, not that I'm keeping it down, the success can be there, but it's just like everyone calm the fuck down.
Starting point is 00:20:57 And now we gotta be more serious and more careful about everything. So, but I also think people who, something exciting's coming or they think it might and then they want to dilute that excitement. I'm like, why? If it doesn't happen, you'll be equally as miserable for whether you got excited or didn't. So you might as well have the excitement in the beginning. It doesn't happen. You had that moment you thought it was happening versus being negative and then it not happening. But it sounds like it's like you have this confidence that you're
Starting point is 00:21:24 prepared for whatever is coming. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah. Like good or bad, like really- No, and when you've got the, you can't underestimate when the wave is cresting and you're hitting your stride. You got to really press your bets.
Starting point is 00:21:37 Things change very quickly. You have to get the momentum. You have a tiny, tiny ember. Like the time you fly with that you you you do it You keep going and you are be shocked and how much you could turn that into but people start to think it's the lights Going out a little and then they like close up shop early It's like we are staying to the fucking last minute of that store open someone might come in and buy something at the last Minute was there a moment in your life when you realized that you could think that way or behave that
Starting point is 00:22:05 way? Like did something happen or was there something you accomplished where you're like, oh, I got it and this is the formula for life? It's just case law. It's not formula for life. It's each time something happens, you look back at that last thing that happens and you add something, subtract something, you made a mistake. It's case law.
Starting point is 00:22:20 It's why lawyers can seem so smart in something going on right now. When they're not that smart, they're just taking different pieces of things that have happened. It's just lawyers can seem so smart in something going on right now when they're not that smart They're just taking different pieces of things that have happened. Just case law What are some moments that the wolves have been at the end of the bed like? Reflect back on your huge career. What are some moments the moments that there was a moment that something happened on Social media where I thought it was real Because a bunch of people are saying something and in the moment it feels real, but the regular outside world, because certain social media
Starting point is 00:22:51 is a series of different planets, and people that don't live on any of the planets think that it's just one whole solar system, which it is, but they don't realize that they're all very different. And so you could think something's going on one place and believe. Not only your own bullshit, but believe your own demise. So there was, but still that's, that's a great point because
Starting point is 00:23:14 a crack can become a crater. So you see something going on in one place. You got to take care of it. You got to take care of it. So something's happening at one area of your house that could turn into like mold, the flood, you don't know, like one little thing you see you have to take care of. So that's a wolf.
Starting point is 00:23:28 But it doesn't have to be. And then that happens with it's happened with products, you know, anybody like there could be something that I recommended that I posted a link to that people are buying and one woman one woman will say, I ordered this two weeks ago, and they said it was immediate whatever I'll send it to my team, but like send her something and because whatever she is, what if 10 people have that experience? You just don't know. So I, one person is too many. You mentioned a story where you said like you were about to launch $40,000 in bathing suits and you pulled it. Talk to us about that.
Starting point is 00:23:59 Oh, yeah, that's, that's, I don't know that I thought that was a wolf. It's just a pride and integrity. I don't lie. I don't lie. And so I was going on HSN to launch bathing suits. And I had a WWD, a women's wear daily article had already been published, which is the Fashion Bible. So now that's been published about my amazing bathing suits. I was partners with a great, credible partner, very, very wealthy, successful person and massive business.
Starting point is 00:24:24 And it was during the pandemic, so we were doing a lot of the fittings by Zoom. And they didn't get the samples to me until two days before we were going on television. And I told them the things to fix. So we're going on and I put the bathing suits on in my house and I'm like, this is shit. Like this is like a big like fucking scuba suit and it's uncomfortable and women already feel so uncomfortable wearing bathing suits to begin with, to trying and it's a traumatic experience.
Starting point is 00:24:54 Jeans are a traumatic experience. Bathing suits is like rest of your life in therapy. So I put them on and I had women raging in ages in my business from like 24 to like 50s. And I'm like, everyone's got to fucking suit up right now. I need all sizes, all shapes. Everybody's got to suit all all booby sizes. Everyone's got to suit up privately.
Starting point is 00:25:12 I apologize and let me know if I'm right. This thing is shit. They were all like dying. And so I called my business manager. And he's like, absolutely not. No, absolutely not. And I think it was 60,000. He's like, we have $60,000 in image. Absolutely not. You're going on at HSN and WD.
Starting point is 00:25:28 I'm like, HSN's not gonna want me to sell shit. They're gonna have to deal with returning it. They return stuff. They don't care. So I go, I'm not. I got into a massive fight with them. We're cursing each other. I'm like, absolutely not.
Starting point is 00:25:38 I'm not launching these fucking bathing suits. They'll never have you on again. I go, I don't care. I'm not. He said, it's okay. We'll sell them in an offline place. I go, oh, so we're gonna sell them cheaper so poor people get to look like shit.
Starting point is 00:25:49 They go to TJ, what are you talking about? So it was a big fight and I was stressed out and we had to do an Instagram live about it. And I just did an Instagram live about it that I'm not doing it. And we were gonna get sued. And I already knew I was gonna eat the 60,000. So we were gonna get sued by this partner already knew I was gonna eat the 60,000. So we were gonna get sued by this partner.
Starting point is 00:26:07 So I was in the cover your ass mode. And I said, okay, this is just my personality. I said, all right, I need to speak to the head person who dresses all the models at HSN. Cause they had already put them all on. I go, you guys got those bathing suits and you try everything on. I need you to go back.
Starting point is 00:26:20 I need you to talk to the models. And what they said was, when we went back, because it was before before going on, it wasn't like days before. We went back. The models, the entire model room was cheering. They did not want to go out because there's all shapes and sizes there, too. They were cheering. They did not want to go out wearing these bathing suits. I was like, period.
Starting point is 00:26:39 So you are 100 percent right with that one. Yeah, I was. It's just like that's a crack that becomes a crater. I feel like you, one of your best talents is feeling the pulse. Like you feel the energy, you feel the pulse and you maneuver within that and pivot within that. Does that make sense? Yeah, no, no, 100% but that's again the ocean.
Starting point is 00:27:01 That's knowing like when to, you go. Yeah, but it's a self-awareness too. A lot of people don't have especially on social like our business is being in the social world and there's sometimes people go along and there's like a complete lack of awareness of like what's actually happening. No and even within my social team I'll tell everybody what I'll tell everybody the day tick tock shut shutting down what we're doing differently. Everyone's like that doesn't work on Instagram.
Starting point is 00:27:22 I'm like I don't give a shit Today's the day we're changing that. Or I'll be like, no, it's enough of this shit. We need a cleanse. We need something stupid. Like it's a pace. It's like you're running a network and you know, like put in that, that's not gonna work today.
Starting point is 00:27:35 We gotta fill it in with that. Like we were doing this programming. You can't just go by the programming. Like- It's why, like, I guess I'll use the term influencer. So many people get in trouble so they don't read the temperature of the room. And like, the vibe has shifted.
Starting point is 00:27:46 I mean, there's been a few vibes just especially since COVID. And you've called out some of these, like, you know, people constantly flashing luxury and this and that, and like, not recognizing that the room has shifted and that people- But I'm also shifting the room. There's two things. One is yes, but also as people are too fear-based, they suck too. It's like a tone deaf thing. And now they suck cause they're like changing
Starting point is 00:28:06 and they're just terrified to move. So that sucks as much as being cautious and changing tonally. It doesn't feel like you're like, like a lot of people like they're trying to like walk this tight rope to appease everybody. It's like you're addressing, but then also shifting and saying like, hey, this is where.
Starting point is 00:28:19 I feel so like the thing that happened with Chanel, it was something that happened to me, but I was happening to it. And I was able to kind of manifest that there'd be a shift in luxury while assigning it to that there's a shift in luxury. Here's what it is. I'm watching TikTok and I'm watching all these people
Starting point is 00:28:39 do these unboxings and I'm watching people get on a plane and fly to, come with me to fly to Thailand to buy this bag. And like, I'm watching it and I'm like, I'm getting plane and fly to come with me to fly to Thailand to buy this bag and like I'm watching And I'm like I'm getting a little nauseated at the same time at the same time I'm watching all these people selling from quote-unquote the gate because you can't say DH gate from all these knockoff sites So I'm watching that at the same time and those look good So I'm thinking these two things are happening at the same time and I'm like, where is this going? And I know for myself I'm nauseated. I can afford to buy any bag in the entire world.
Starting point is 00:29:06 I've sold 50 bags. I keep saying I'm shorting this stock. I feel like it's a stock market. It's been going on for years. So if I've been feeling that way, there are a lot of other people feeling that way. And then I'm seeing like the convergence of what happened at Chanel.
Starting point is 00:29:20 And then I'm seeing the Walmart Birkin, which wasn't something new at all. Amazon has been selling them for years. It's just the name Walmart assigned to it. And then I'm like, this is giving people license because it's not fake. It doesn't say Hermes on it. It's got no low. And I'm like, now I'm fucking entering like now.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Now what I talked about at Chanel, I'm going to connect that to here. Articles will be written about this and I will sort of be part of shifting it. I will act like it's just something that's only been going on, but I know that I'm also moving the traffic too, which I want to, because that's why I started Handbag University, because I wanted to,
Starting point is 00:29:53 but it had to be authentic where I want to find things that look just as good as the multiple thousand dollar bag. So I have to prove it. And literally two billionaire women this week have reached out to me being like, I want the fucking bags. Where are these bags? What are the bags? Billionaires, billionaire women this week have reached out to me being like, I want the fucking bags. Where are these bags? What are the bags? Billionaires,
Starting point is 00:30:07 billionaire women. And I'm like, this is working. Well, you posted one where I was like, oh my gosh, that is so cute. The garden bag with the green thing. Right. Oh my God. I was like, I need that right now. That was good. That was a good one. And there's another one coming up. It's a lie. And spy. The other thing is I know the knowledge of the original bag that they look like, so I can say to the people, you know,
Starting point is 00:30:29 and then we're starting, we're starting, you can enroll in jewelry university. We're about to, we're taking, we're registration. You're bridging the gap, kind of. Like you're making it accessible, but the person who's buying it also feels like they're in on the luxury of it.
Starting point is 00:30:44 Well, I'm the consumer because I have, you know, 10 carat diamond necklaces and earrings. So you're able to see. I don't even wear them. So I like this shit better. So I know, like if I'm wearing it and I want it, but it's not cosplaying. I like this gorgeous ring. This looks like this is like a fortune. It's an inexpensive brand. Like I'm obsessed with this So I'm saying it and it's more interesting than anything you can get from a 47th Street diamond dealer or like a diet Like so I'm getting really into it myself Let's talk about
Starting point is 00:31:18 Symbiotica one of our favorite supplement companies one of our favorite companies in general Lauren and I have been taking symbmbiotica products for years now. We've had the founders of Symbiotica on this show multiple times because everything they're doing over there is top notch. They use the highest quality ingredients and they have such a well rounded assortment of products that you can really just go to their company and basically get everything all in one place. One thing that I've been talking about for years is there's liposomal vitamin C.
Starting point is 00:31:43 It comes in a thousand milligram delivery, single packets that you can take to the office. You can take them to travel. You can take them to workouts. I have one every single day. What I love about liposomal vitamin C is it helps support collagen production, which is essential for skin, hair, nails, and joint health. And it enhances antioxidant protection, which is going to help combat oxidative stress and inflammation. What I also love about Symbiotica's vitamin C in particular is it's a liposomal
Starting point is 00:32:07 delivery which which accounts for higher absorption. Liposomal vitamin C is absorbed 80 to 90 percent more effectively compared to standard vitamin C products. This is going to mean less stomach irritation and longer lasting effects in the body. The reason we've been talking about Symbiotica for so long and love their products so much is Symbiotica is as clean as it gets. There's no seed oils, preservatives or artificial junk, just high quality real ingredients that actually do something. I'm telling you guys, when you take this stuff consistently, you will see and feel the difference. So check it out. I've been focused on the vitamin C, but they have so many products. Like I said, you can really shop all in one place
Starting point is 00:32:40 for all of your supplement needs. All you have to do is go to symbiotica.com slash TSC for 20% off plus free shipping. That's symbiotica.com slash TSC for 20% off plus free shipping. Symbiotica wellness made simple. One of my personal favorite things about doing this show is that we get to discover so many things that we apply to our own lives. Selfishly, we do this show just for that reason. We also obviously love that the audience gets this information at the same time as us or a little bit after once we've done the recording, which is why I'm so excited to share with you guys an incredible scientific breakthrough to support long-term health and wellness. C15 is the first essential fatty acid to be discovered in 90 years and get this studies have confirmed that it's three times better, broader and safer than omega-3. So if you've been taking omega-3,
Starting point is 00:33:24 this product is going to be even more effective. The origin story is Fatty 15 co-founder Dr. Stephanie Van Watson discovered C-15 as the first essential fatty acid to be found in over 90 years while working with the US Navy to continually improve the health and welfare of aging dolphins. We've now interviewed Dr. Stephanie Van Watson twice on this show to talk about this groundbreaking discovery. I've been on Fatty 15 now for the last 120 days. I take it every single morning. My inflammation levels have drastically gone down. I feel great. I'm thinking clear and I've noticed a huge benefit. So if you're still on the fence, fatty 15 has three times more cellular benefits than omega 3 or
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Starting point is 00:34:25 subscription starter kit by going to fatty15.com slash skinny and using code skinny at checkout. Let me let you in on a little secret. If you're battling acne, damaged hair, eczema, color change, like your hair is changing colors, the color in your hair rashes. You have to check your water. So we're all filtering our water we drink, but we're not thinking about that in the same way that we shower. We've had so many experts on this podcast tell us that clean water is the first step to effective beauty.
Starting point is 00:34:58 And what I've noticed is since changing my showers, I don't get any milia, any little dots on my face anymore. I think it's such an easy, quick upgrade that is something to invest in. So instead of investing in a serum or a moisturizer, I would check your water. Enter Jolie. Jolie is a beauty wellness company that purifies the water we shower in for better skin, hair, and overall being. Jolie's Filter Showerhead is the best in class for removing chlorine and heavy metals, so it takes it out of your water, and you should know it's the only lab-tested and clinically trialed filtering showerhead on the market.
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Starting point is 00:36:07 What drove you when you were younger? Like what was the success you were chasing? Was it attention and visibility? Was it business success? I didn't even know there was a, I didn't know business was a word. I didn't know business was a word. What was the thing you were chasing?
Starting point is 00:36:22 Being somebody. Making a mark. I can't say it was money. It came up later as money. It's never money for really true entrepreneurs. It's never money. It's the idea. I've always been very creative. I've always loved the idea, but I thought like I could be something. I want to be something. I want to jump off the page, be noticeable. I'm sure that's a lot of like not getting love and attention to my house and things like that, but like I wanted to, you know, jump off the page, be noticeable. And I'm sure that's a lot of, like, not getting love and attention in my house and things like that. But, like, I wanted to make a mark. When did you feel like you were somebody?
Starting point is 00:36:53 I mean... I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm somebody and sometimes I don't, but I don't know if I've ever really... I don't really believe my own bullshit, so I don't think I've ever really thought I was somebody. And it's not like the Emperor has no clothes. But I know I'm respected and successful.
Starting point is 00:37:12 It's more about that. Fame is so stupid. Not until you have it do you realize how stupid fame is. Because it's just like so... It's like frosting with no cake. I've heard you talk about this. You know, it's like a with no cake. I've heard you talk about this. You know, it's like a cardboard box of frost. Explain this theory to Michael, the frosting with no cake, the celebrities that are trying
Starting point is 00:37:31 to get us to just look at the frosting and they don't want us to see the cake. Well just in general, I just think you need both. Like the cake is like, why? Also it's so crowded now. I've talked about the shift in fame. I've talked about Jennifer Lopez. I've talked about the shift in fame. I've talked about Jennifer Lopez. I've talked about Blake Lively. So fame used to be something different
Starting point is 00:37:48 and now fame is so crowded and there are so many different types of fame. So you can't have frosting without cake and fame. Now you can't just be like attractive and photographed. That doesn't even work. I mean, frankly, even the Kardashian, like Kim Kardashian is a fucking boss bitch. I mean, she's a business person.
Starting point is 00:38:05 Like, Kris is a business person. We can't like say like, oh, they're just hair extensions or whatever. Like, no, I mean, I'm gonna talk to, about Kim, I'm not gonna talk about everybody else. Kourtney's got great people running her business. Good, you know, that's great. I'm saying, but Kim's a fucking boss bitch, period, the end.
Starting point is 00:38:20 So she's the one I'm gonna talk about. She's not frosting without the cake. There's cake, there's layers, there's frosting. There's another cake behind it. So you could, but when she started, she was frosting without cake. When she was started, she was a bandage dress from a wealthy family that was getting photographed
Starting point is 00:38:37 hanging out next to the cliche and raging, great. But she put the fucking bake that cake fast. Yeah, she built that. Yeah, that cake is behind that frosting as much as anybody else How did you become so financially literate? Because that's something like You know a lot of people will sell their company and then you know That's it. You continued to really Sort of build the tumbleweed how unbelievable well also like even with your real estate deals
Starting point is 00:39:03 How did you know how to do all of this? I don't. It's case law, like I said. It's case law. My philanthropic initiatives, which are the, you know, amazing and I think largest relief efforts in US history in many cases, private relief efforts. It's like building a business and in the beginning, no one believes in you and you have no trust, even that you're already known on television. That's again, that was frosty.
Starting point is 00:39:27 I'm Bethany Frankel. I want you to give me your fucking money to help people. Nobody cares. Right. Nobody cares. Right. Had to build the case. So I'm saying, you know,
Starting point is 00:39:37 you just have to develop a language and trust in each space. And the people that last and the people that really don't get canceled, even after they've done things that you may find reprehensible, are people that have really layered in different areas and can withstand, you know, any storm. Like there's there are people that have been known for one thing and the whole house of cards can come down, but people who like
Starting point is 00:40:04 are really just diversifying in so many different areas, but not because they're just performing or copying anyone else because they have a genuine interest. Like my getting into the VC and private equity and investment space is completely an example of something that is not based in like, oh, I just think I should have this. Like it's based in me seeing products, asking founders, I would like to invest in and help your business. Doing that 10 times and then recently realizing, wait, I think this is like its own business.
Starting point is 00:40:33 So now we have to get into that space. It all happens organically, every single thing. TikTok was organic. Everyone was like, we, are you doing a beauty line? Are you doing whatever? I'm like, what are you talking about? This is a garage band. But now it's not a garage band
Starting point is 00:40:45 because I ended up liking it. I ended up being good at it and it ended up becoming an amazing model. So you just do things you love. And if you notice a shift and if you notice a success in it, you double down and you layer it. You do one thing really well.
Starting point is 00:41:02 You do the one margarita really well. You fucking saturate that one thing and then you do the next thing. You do thing really well. You do the one Margarita really well. You fucking saturate that one thing and then you do the next thing. You do that really well. Then maybe you connect the two of them together. You learn things from one to the other and you just keep building. You just keep adding.
Starting point is 00:41:14 Speaking of Margarita, at the time, I mean, I think now people look at franchises and reality TV shows as opportunities to go and build businesses. But I would argue that like you were the first person to figure that out. We recently had Lisa Rin and Harry Hamlin on it. They talked about the Bethany clause and like how that exists
Starting point is 00:41:31 and that comes up a lot now. And you know, for people that are unaware, I mean, we could talk about that, but did you know when you were going to do that television show that there was an opportunity to build a business ahead of time, or was it something you figured out along the way? It's the same as starting a TikTok without knowing what I was doing.
Starting point is 00:41:47 No, I knew that I'm always going to be present in whatever I'm going to do. I don't do anything if I don't do it well. It doesn't matter if I'm making a cup of coffee or if I'm making a simple dinner. I do it or I don't. And that's how it is in life. Like I do. There was a very big A-list celebrity I saw the other night at a premiere. And for the third time, he was a dick to me. me, but this time it was something that he was connected to,
Starting point is 00:42:08 and I was complimenting him on the product and he was such a dick that I was like, what do you mean? Like, stay home. Fucking stay home. Why is he a dick to you? Just because that's just, they're allowed to be a dick. Some people are, and by the way, and I was thinking, this guy doesn't know, but if I ever say who it was, it might not be good.
Starting point is 00:42:22 The moms- What does it rhyme with? The moms I'm not going to. It's big. So anyway, so when I did the show, I had nothing going on. I had no money. I only just saw that clause as a clause that I just was like, why do I need to sign this clause? What if I do something?
Starting point is 00:42:37 But I didn't think I was going to do something. I had no clue. But then when I was doing the show, I remember my boyfriend at the time was like, you just never, never interact, only talk about your business. You're there because you want to be a chef and do it on TV. But once there, I realized that would be, that was what the product was. So I would be compromising the integrity of the actual product if I wasn't being true to the situation. This is in the beginning of Housewives. There was no Housewives
Starting point is 00:43:02 really. Like, this is me and sharing my relationship or what I think of Housewives. There was no Housewives really. Like this is me and sharing my relationship or what I think of other people. I was like, oh, okay, I guess we're doing this now. I guess we're immersing into the just being real as myself in this experience. And people bought into the Margarita because of my authenticity, not because of the product. I even remember, and listen, I'm not the target audience,
Starting point is 00:43:22 but I remember watching it with her. And I remember like you being in the grocery stores and doing that. And I remember just thinking like, oh, like this, like it resonated then that like, well, this is somebody that's like really working their tail off. And being honest about failing in the moment. And when I, no one showed up on my signing in Costco, that's very, that everybody would act like they're something, everybody on reality TV acts like they're something they're not. So I was acting like I was something that I was, which was a nobody. What was it like going into that show,
Starting point is 00:43:47 as you say, a nobody, and then becoming this mogul? What was it like for the women? Because you know how like you go to high school and then like you graduate and maybe like, let's say you make it big, and then you go back to the reunion and it's kind of awkward. What was that like for the women? It was a great, interesting experiment,
Starting point is 00:44:10 experience across the board for many reasons, but again, to your point, reading the room and knowing when to come in, when to come out. So I was there for three seasons and I left. And I popped off and was on the cover of Forbes Magazine while I left. I left from true reason true reasons I didn't want to be there. I thought it was toxic. I thought it was gross. It was three seasons in that's very early girl trips I just thought it was I just wanted to not be there and I wasn't
Starting point is 00:44:36 like Astronomically wealthy by any means then and then I left and that's when I turned to the brand and that's but I because I had The confidence I could see the board. I don't stay too long at a party. I don't stay, I'm not like you other girlies. Um, I don't stay too long at a party. So I was at the party and I thought this feels gross. So I'm leaving, but I always trust myself. I always trust the driver and the car that I'm in. I'm going to figure this fucking thing out. So I left and that's when I got, I knew that I had, uh, I knew somehow I would have a spinoff. I knew I was connecting with this audience.
Starting point is 00:45:09 I had like a sort of manifestation of a spinoff. But again, most spinoffs aren't as big as that original. And mine was the highest rated in Bravo history at the time, highest rated series premiere. So the Forbes cover happens. And then the show goes from 3.2 million viewers to 1.6 million over the next three seasons. So the numbers are there. The numbers don't lie. So now I know that Andy's circling like a shark and I know that Bravo's circling and I want to do other shows. They want me back. And now all the girls I start to see, they're also New York women.
Starting point is 00:45:42 And as much as they have egos and as much as they must hate me for this, which they did before I was leaving, when I was leaving, I already knew I had a spinoff and they were starting to turn and they were starting to act negative. One person in particular couldn't handle it that I had a spinoff. They were trying to sabotage me and trying to take me down. And they tried hard. And the reunion was challenging as a result.
Starting point is 00:46:04 So now I leave and now the show is not doing well. So they're New York business women first. And they want their they want to protect the realm. So now they're individually all reaching out to me begging me to come back because it's more important to them that the product that they're on succeeds. So I come back and they accept their place in society. They accept that production has said, I won't film after a certain hour.
Starting point is 00:46:29 I won't film when I have my daughter. I won't film on these days. I won't try. I had a prima donnas multimillion dollar contract making millions more than they were each making. And they would have- And did they know that? Don't ask, don't tell.
Starting point is 00:46:47 I mean, they eventually knew. I never told how much. But millions more than people who had been there for six seasons were making and rules and hours. So I would go on a trip a day and a half late and leave a day and a half early and torch the joint while I was there. Make everything happen while I was there.
Starting point is 00:47:06 And in fact, they would say we had to edit, Lisa Schein would say we edited out the stuff that when you left, the scenes weren't working and they weren't working before you came. So I would come and I would light the world on fire, come out exhausted and strip it. I'd be like, this is what I'm here to do. But what did they feel like with your business side?
Starting point is 00:47:23 Like, meaning like, are they, some of them tried to like- Everybody, well, everybody copied, even to this day, everybody copied. I mean, everybody, including Lisa and Harry, saying that, you know, it was for the business platform. Lisa and Harry, I was the one who told Andy about Lisa. I was the one who told him he didn't like Lisa. He didn't want to have her on.
Starting point is 00:47:39 I was the one who told Lisa to do the apprentice and the house. Harry said, ask Beth, and he didn't want her to do it. They're not gonna say that now because they're mad about the sauce, but it's okay. We'll get into the sauce. Yeah, we can. I love, I like Harry a lot.
Starting point is 00:47:52 And I can guarantee you what he makes at home is not the same. And if they were really smart entrepreneurs, they would have leaned in like this recent guy that broke back Contessa or this guy, Matthew Stevens. They are an example of people that live over on Instagram. They don't understand how it all works. And how it all works is Harry be like,
Starting point is 00:48:10 all right, Bethany, I take your constructive, cause you can't find a sauce now online. So they sold a ton of sauce and we know exactly how much sauce they sold because of the sort of hate buying people were like, let me see how bad the sauce really is. And people were buying and then they were doing their own videos.
Starting point is 00:48:23 But if I'm Harry Hamlin, I would have said, OK, Bethany, I saw your sauce review. I would have stitched it and said, you're an entrepreneur. And I want to take your advice. I'm challenging you to tell me what I need, what we could do. Could we even eat the sauce, taste the sauce, talk about the sauce, make sauce together? Now listen to me, I don't want to fucking go
Starting point is 00:48:46 to LA and make sauce. I really don't. And, but if I happen to be there, but because I would love, like I would, if he- Maybe we can broker this and we can get the sauce. No, it's done, the moment's done. No, because it's my idea. No, I'll do it with someone else.
Starting point is 00:49:01 It could be a skinny sauce. Love you so much. Don't change. No, if he had been smart instead of resisting the tie, which I knew they were him be like Well, some people have bad taste like okay, I think Cadillac uber L'Oreal Verizon fucking every single brand that you could name that has a vowel in it disagrees Harry Hamlin. So well But he couldn't help it. It's OK. I actually really like Harry and I wanted to love the sauce. I was getting the dishes out, the whole thing.
Starting point is 00:49:35 But when, you know, when Lisa said like she was like it was it was not necessary. Like, but that's not fair. Don't set like we can't fit, because there are poor people with startup businesses that send me products, and I'm gonna be honest with them, and be straightforward, not mean. And I wasn't mean, I was just straight up. I was trying, I was excited to have a fucking
Starting point is 00:49:56 Harry Sauce dinner at my house. I have products for you, and I- You're scared? No, I'm not. Okay. No, I'm not. Good, don't be fucking scared. I mean, I'm not scared. Okay, good scared. No, I'm not. Okay. No, I'm not. Great. I'm actually not scared. Don't be fucking scared. I mean, I'm not scared.
Starting point is 00:50:07 Okay. Good. I know what I'm signing up for. Great. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm good. You have the big roller thing.
Starting point is 00:50:11 I have the big roller. Yeah. It feels like a dildo. It's, I've not stuck it up my vagina. So I'll let you know later. No, no, no, no, no, no. The grip feels like a dildo. Don't stick it up your vagina.
Starting point is 00:50:22 Especially cold though. I'll let you know. I'll call you tonight. It sounds like anything sells. Stick it up your vagina if you want to say it sounds like anything sells. Stick it up your vagina if you want to say it. When you, what did you just say? Maybe using it the wrong way. It's the face.
Starting point is 00:50:35 Yeah. When you have your business as Skinny Girl though, and you're on that show and you're sort of separated because you're now this entrepreneur mogul business person. What was that like to then go back to all these women who weren't? Like I feel like there's a dynamic. It's not it's not really what no this. Okay.
Starting point is 00:50:57 Two things. One. Yay. I'm so glad I could like lay the ground works for everybody. And that's my legacy. And not everyone knows that and doesn't even matter. Two, it's oversaturated because you can't look and in the beginning it was fresh and normal
Starting point is 00:51:11 and you were excited but now it's like, I've got a photo shoot, I've got a charity, I've got a brand and then the next, I don't know where Beverly Beach is, I don't know where SheBuyShare is, I don't know where Gretchen's purses are and I love Gretchen Rossi's shout out, love her. I'm saying it's a testament to how difficult business is and television should not make business look easy
Starting point is 00:51:28 So you can not everyone and being on a television show doesn't mean your business is gonna be successful at all. It's fool's gold That's one little thing people a lot of people get led astray thinking. Oh, I'm gonna go on one of these properties I'm gonna do what you've done and all of a sudden the only thing that happens is their whole life just gets torn apart No an audience and they don't have the business and then it's like even worse than when they started what they do on one of these properties, I'm going to do what you've done. And all of a sudden, the only thing that happens is their whole life just gets torn apart by an audience and they don't have the business. And then it's like even worse than when they started. What they do, God bless you, what they do is they go find partners and bait the fact that they're going to be on a show and the partners are dope.
Starting point is 00:51:54 So they think, okay, great. And they get involved and it's like, what happened? We showed her in the scene and then you're fighting like it's fool's gold. Business is insane and you have to be able to fully back it up all the time. And also speaking about tone and pace, the audience gets turned off. You could say your product once, they want it. Twice they want it. Third time you're done, they hate you.
Starting point is 00:52:19 Like they're tuning out. It's like a celebrity that launches a podcast and just thinks it's going to be successful. The whole, yeah, well that's major. So what I was going to say though is that people will go onto Shark Tank and accept the constructive and often brutal criticism and it's more men there, it's more male driven there. Whereas you're going to send me product and I'm going to try it and I'm going to give you a totally fair, honest review. And I'm, I'm, I am a shark.
Starting point is 00:52:47 I've been on shark tank multiple times and you're going to then get mad at the way in which I did it. Like, no, business is hard and you should find out in the beginning. And I, there have been people that I dislike, dislike that I have liked to their products because we're talking about products. It's not who my friends, it's not my friends. Your thing is you're giving an objective review with constructive or what you hope to be
Starting point is 00:53:08 constructive feedback as investors do. Period. That's why the followers love her. Period. And I've said bad things about brands that like you'd want to kiss their ass because the product sucks. That's what it is.
Starting point is 00:53:19 So don't send and you know, period. That's it. How do you think about conflict? Like you're very raised and obviously outspoken and seem to be comfortable in the fire. How do you manage personal conflict in your personal life? Oh, I don't love to be in the fire. I don't, I like to get close to the fire.
Starting point is 00:53:38 I don't like to get in. I like to be, you know, as Mark, your friend, who's here, my friend too, he says, I land the plane in any weather. So I don't like to get into the fire. I like to get close. And sometimes I get a little scorched and it's not necessary. And the fucking I get, it's like a guy who said, why he never cheats. He said, the fucking I get is never going to be worth the fucking I get. So the fucking I get for getting into the fire is never worth the fucking I get.
Starting point is 00:54:02 Are you one of those people like you're very quick witted, fast spoken, like are you something that when you get in something you say things like, oh shit, I shouldn't have said that. Or is it like you stand behind everything that comes out? No, I, I truthfully, most of the things I've said I back, but it didn't need to be said or could have been said in a different way. Give us an example of what you're talking about. The example of what I'm talking about is Meghan Markle. The example of what I'm talking about is Meghan Markle The example of what I'm talking about is Meghan Markle and sometimes you're too early for the market, too so I said cry me a river about I
Starting point is 00:54:34 Think it was two days before she did the Oprah interview. Okay, and she comes on and I and I wasn't actually I Have I honestly have nothing against Meghan Markle? I don't think that they've made the best business choices. So I was frustrated. Like I would have loved to be their advisor because nobody has had more opportunity than them. Like nobody. And I just would have liked to be in the, like, no,
Starting point is 00:54:58 we're going this way, you're going the wrong way. No, it's the Poseidon adventure. You're going towards the fucking top of the boat. And I get that, but the boat's upside down now. It's also appearing so perfect. It's hard. I think that's a big element of it. Well, we could do a, yeah, we could do that.
Starting point is 00:55:10 Hold on, we can go back to that. So we should park that. So I said, it was just like, I was just thinking, you've been in that family, you've been in that house for two years, and now we're coming out and it's a little early. And it's just, it just was not landing. No one wants to hear, no one ever,
Starting point is 00:55:31 no one wanted to hear Ellen DeGeneres talk about her expensive real estate or any celebrity talk about plight. So I was just like, no, oh my God, what do you guys say, no. So I was like, and I felt like Cry Me A River. You can't, as a person who's been in the Royal Palace, go down this road.
Starting point is 00:55:47 So the words Crimea River got like pulled and became a whole thing because the next day or two days later she's on Oprah talking about suicidal thoughts, talking about racism. So it was like, I walked into a fire. I walked into the fire. I walked into the, I did not get close to the fire. I walked into the fire.
Starting point is 00:56:04 And it could have been like, what do you guys think? I'm thinking about this situation and I'm wondering how this is going to land. But then months later, years later, a lot of people jumped on that bandwagon. A lot of people jumped on the crime area bandwagon. I don't need company, but I just saw a lot of other things being done.
Starting point is 00:56:23 Like, oh my God, no, we can't launch a book and a Netflix thing and go out and get on the podiums and do the podium tour. No, no guys, call me back. I just, you know, and literally I have nothing against them. I don't know them. I actually think I would probably have a nice time with Meghan Markle.
Starting point is 00:56:42 I think she's probably, I think she just, it's a beast now. It's, she would have been great in traditional celebrity land. She would have been great in traditional Blake Lively, pre 2024, Jennifer Lopez, pre 2024, traditional celeb. It's fucking gnarly out there. It's a war zone. Well, now everyone has a microphone. You just need to know where the landmines are.
Starting point is 00:57:06 So I would have liked to be in the mix. And in fact, I know that Archiwell, we knew someone in common with Archiwell for Be Strong. And I was like, I want to really understand it because I'm nervous about it. Because I just feel like they, like me, can be polarizing, like me. So we need to know with them how it's all gonna land. A lot of, not a lot, but some of your content
Starting point is 00:57:33 you've talked about celebrities doing too much at once. Like you said, it's like the haircare line and the makeup line, and then they wanna talk about the movie and the this and the that. And I literally did start that. I was the first person to monetize these products. I literally did start that. You've also done it brick by brick.
Starting point is 00:57:49 And the way it's a little different. You can't put 25 pounds of bag in a five. Okay. Can you talk about that? Because I think that I thought that was a great branding tip. Okay. I don't know if branding is the right word, but. You can't put 25 pounds of shit in a five pound bag.
Starting point is 00:58:02 And what happens is you are pushed out onto a red carpet by a traditional publicist, trying to be current, trying to be modern in the modern day. Saying my time is a commodity, my clients have kids, they're going out, they've got glam on, they've got the major outfit, they're on that carpet. Everybody's pulling them like an octopus, like this is a reality show.
Starting point is 00:58:25 Like, we have to get it all in, because you're sleeping with so many different people and so many different partners, and you've got to jam it in, because this is your big product. But you have to know how to read the room. And you have to know how to speak this language, and you just, you can't.
Starting point is 00:58:38 And to your point, though, about the one thing I'll say about you saying it's all too perfect with Meghan and Harry, I, the one thing, I'm gonna give them, we can't have it both ways. I backed up Lauren Sanchez because Lauren Sanchez has not changed once since the day I met her 15 years ago. So we can't have it both ways. She wasn't going to the Vatican. I know it's the inauguration.
Starting point is 00:59:00 Okay. She was wearing a lace top, which has been now assigned as lingerie, but she was, she's the same as she was. So someone like Meghan Markle enters the royal family. You're going to dress a little differently. You're going to act a little differently. The muted tones will, will surface. Okay. Wonderful.
Starting point is 00:59:15 They live in a beautiful home in Santa Barbara. He's a prince. She's was a duchess. So she's got a glossy, perfect show of her house. What is she supposed to do? Be like me and have seaweed in her teeth? Like she's fucking in Santa Barbara in a 13 million. It's okay for it to be perfect.
Starting point is 00:59:36 She's, she's supposed to now cosplay flawed. That's annoying too. That's annoying too. Be who you actually are. We'll meet you there. Doesn't matter. Just don't get caught in the riptie between both. We can't be smart and stupid at the same time.
Starting point is 00:59:50 We can't play down, like down to earth at the same time, but you gotta know your room. Like if you're gonna walk into TikTok, you gotta know where the fuck you're walking in. What are you walking into on TikTok? When TikTok was shutting down, I described the fuck you're walking in. What are you walking into on TikTok? When TikTok was shutting down, I described the difference between Instagram and TikTok. The difference between Instagram and TikTok
Starting point is 01:00:10 is that Instagram is the lobby of a Marriott where there are some attractive people at the Christmas party. They have lanyards on, they might have name tags. They like to have fun. They might get over-served sometimes. They might say something funny, but they, and they will get excited
Starting point is 01:00:26 if a celebrity walks through the lobby. They'll freak out. TikTok is at the penthouse of that same hotel. There are tassels on the titties. They are doing inappropriate things. They are downing shots. They are also, some of them are smart. They are outspoken.
Starting point is 01:00:39 They might get in some trouble, but if a celebrity walks up there, they're gonna fucking throw them off the balcony unless they just happen to like them. They're just a different group. And some people complain about, I can tassel titty and I can corporate lanyard. I live in both.
Starting point is 01:00:52 I have a dual residency. But you have to understand, what? I'm gonna pull that clip. But you have to understand where you are. And they all, and YouTube is different. They're all different. They're just different worlds. Snapchat is different too. They're all different. They're just different worlds. Snapchat is different too, they're all different.
Starting point is 01:01:07 Michael loves a witty strong woman. He's dying. I can tell he's holding in laughter when you're talking. It's my cup of tea. Yeah, this is his cup of tea. You have recently or you did an episode about divorce and you gave women or guys, I guess, tips on what to do before getting married.
Starting point is 01:01:26 You talked about signing a prenup. What's your, if you were to counsel your daughter, say she's 30. I do on the drive to school every day. How old is she? 14. What are you telling her about setting yourself up for success within a marriage? Because you've seen it all. I'm telling her who to model after she has, like, role models
Starting point is 01:01:45 and what it's supposed to be like. And that... She's seen me in a couple of relationships, and so I always do take away about it and why it is working, why it isn't working, the things that work or that don't work. I think that people focus a lot on the resume of someone versus the nuance versus how do you migrate? What are your patterns like? Is someone dimming your light? You could have someone who has
Starting point is 01:02:09 enough money and brains and humor and is attractive, but are they dimming your light? Are you better with them? And it's not only what you're like when you're with them, what are you like when you're not with them? How do you feel? How are they making you feel? And I feel like we really, we really, as women, do dumb it down. And we really do settle. Women do it a lot more than I'm seeing men doing it. Women really settle. It's out of control. And explain and make big, big grandiose statements about little things.
Starting point is 01:02:40 Look what he got! Look what he did! Jeff walked upright today, you know, like the basic things that like we give cookies for and it's bullshit. And I've just been, I don't wanna get into detail about somebody that somebody set me up with, but I was like, are you out of your fucking mind? Like, why are we supposed to get excited about this?
Starting point is 01:03:00 Like it was, we're just dumbing it down. And I talk a lot on my, the dating podcast is really good. Quick break to hopefully convince some of you to make a healthier change, a healthier swap in your life with Branch Basics. We are constantly bombarded by so many chemical ingredients, so many artificial additives, so many things that are causing us long-term health implications and harm. This is why for me, every time I find something that's a no-brainer, an easy switch, something that I can do that I know is going to change my life, I do it. With Branch Basics, cleaning in the house, in the office, cleaning anything has just become healthier and easier.
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Starting point is 01:08:01 One product that has transformed not only my sleep, but my jawline, is mouth tape. I mouth tape every single night. There is not a night that goes by that I miss mouth taping. And the first thing that I notice is I wake up with way more energy. When you're nose breathing all night, you get so much more oxygen. It's incredible. And also it supports your tongue posture while you sleep, which sculpts your jawline and makes it stronger. So what I've noticed is better tongue posture, better sleep,
Starting point is 01:08:34 more energy in the morning. I cannot live without it. The other night I actually fell asleep for like two hours without my mouth tape and I woke up with a dry mouth. I felt like I was almost like hung over. I can't explain it. I have to have this as my nightly routine. So what I do is after my skincare, I put the Skinny Confidential mouth tape on. It has a tiny little slit so you can use a straw if you get thirsty in the middle of the night to drink and then I sleep with it all night and then in the morning I mist my face, I remove it, and it is the sleep hack of a lifetime.
Starting point is 01:09:09 I know anyone who is looking for a better sleep, more energy in the morning, and a more sculpted jawline will love it. You can shop it now at shopskinnyconfidential.com. That's shopskinnyconfidential.com. I also don't know why they're not talking about emotional intelligence and relationships in schools for kids. Like if 60% of marriages end up in divorce, if people's biggest issues and pain, emotional pain, will be getting a divorce and financial and the stress it puts on a family,
Starting point is 01:09:40 why would this not be taught in school? Like, what are we supposed to be looking for emotionally? I never knew until this age about dismissive, avoidant attachment in a relationship. Do you know what that is? No, it's not. There are different attachment styles. It is the most brilliant thing. I am talking about it on my podcast
Starting point is 01:09:57 where people have attachment styles. Like in a relationship, some need to know where they stand at all times. They get insecure if they're not having this communication style where they're getting getting feeling safe and being reassured. Some people have a dismissive avoidant attachment style where they can't handle commitment or any sort of conflict. So like you could be trying to love this person more and they literally, it turns them off, they shut down, they can't handle it. They can't handle and it's not a game. It's literally built within them based on how they were raised.
Starting point is 01:10:30 There are just these ways that people operate. And everybody has one style. Everybody, some people probably may just be in the middle and don't have noise in this area, but most people have one. But to be with, you know, the way that things line up where people say, oh, this sign doesn't match with this sign. These attachment styles don't work.
Starting point is 01:10:48 And that's why Mel Robbins is interesting because if something doesn't feel right, it is not right. Like, I just think that we gaslight ourselves way too much making excuses for things that aren't right in the beginning. So would you tell women to sign a certain contract? Would you give them any tools to set themselves up if they are going to be getting married?
Starting point is 01:11:09 I would say you're going to have to do it, Preenam, no matter what. And it has to be very crystal clear, and mine was complete shit, because I didn't know how far I'd go. I would say, though, but also things should be written down a way that, how would you intend it to be with kids?
Starting point is 01:11:26 You know, is it private school? Is it public school? Is it Catholic school? Is it not? Is it if we broke up, you're Catholic, I'm Jewish, how are we handling that? Like, I think things should be worked out ahead of time. I just think that people really just don't think
Starting point is 01:11:38 about the numbers. You would never enter into a business deal that had 60% chance of failing. That's very true. I mean, most entrepreneurs, most startups don't work. So it's actually, I'm speaking a little bit out of school, but if someone said to you about your emotional marriage, I mean, relationship and something that was legally binding, that it's 60% chance of this failing, you would get serious.
Starting point is 01:12:02 But you just, you don't think about it. You get excited about the wrong things. I, I, I've talked about this a lot. it's 60% chance of this failing, you would get serious, but you just, you don't think about it. You get excited about the wrong things. I have talked about this a lot. I have met, let's say I've met like 10 men. I have met six, four, no, four men out of 10 in the past couple years that have full custody of multiple children because the ex-wife has either gone like has met has become mentally ill, gone to a facility, has drug and pill issues, drinking issues and what two of them I said what I thought it
Starting point is 01:12:43 was and they both said bullseye. I said, is it because your wife, who is beautiful and young and wanted to get on the program, they're going to shop, they get to tell their friends they don't have to work, they're going to have the baby, you're going to work, this is the dynamic, and the man continues to thrive and be successful. And he's working on himself, he's working out, he still looks good, and he's thriving business. He's getting more ideas, more's working out, he still looks good. And he's thriving business. He's getting, you know, more ideas, more innovative.
Starting point is 01:13:07 It's a very entrepreneurial time. And the woman, they did the costumes, they did the lunches, they did the shopping, they did the get to college. Now they don't feel that they have purpose. And they continue to spiral because the only goal was pre-wed. The only goal because they really wanted to be able to flex in front of the other women and get the ring fast and get the drug and get everything and look perfect. And then all of a sudden their partner has thrived and this deal is not the same way
Starting point is 01:13:33 that it looked back then. The company, the overall company is not in the same state as it was in. Not to mention speaking as a man, like at some point, how interesting does that become day in day out for the guy? Like you want to go home and have these riveting conversations, like what'd you do? Shopping, so you know. But he's at much, he's as much at fault
Starting point is 01:13:51 because he too thought this would sustain them. He too liked this, we're playing house, we're ordering a dinner, we're having, we get excited about the baby, we get excited about the wedding, we have all these things to be excited. Now everybody's settled in their roles, he's got way more skills,
Starting point is 01:14:03 way more interesting things to talk about, a bigger wealth of institutional knowledge of what goes on in life and charity and getting out there every day. And you know, all these men, I told her she should start a business, she should start a charity, also condescending. Now he's getting married. He's petting her, he's giving her a cookie. She gets to have this little thing.
Starting point is 01:14:21 You gotta, everybody's gotta be running the same marathon in different directions, in different ways. But you know, we gotta keep moving forward. And women, this is, this is a big problem with marriage. And then men also are either cheating or they go the second time, which is why I do have done very well in dating, because this man doesn't want a gold digger. He wants someone he can talk to who's smart, who can have an educated conversation about the stock market, about things that are in politics. And it's this whole disparity. And then this other woman is blood in the water.
Starting point is 01:14:50 She's got to get someone to come in and take care of her program. If she got screwed in the divorce, which happens a lot, who's funding this next program? Who's funding the next chapter when I've got three kids? What have you seen to be successful in a marriage? Like what are like now that you've gone through all this, what do you think are the successful points?
Starting point is 01:15:12 That the word is not improperly used, but really understood as a partner. And in business a partnership and it's it's it's not emotionally the same, but it's effectively functionally the same in business a partnership is we are both bringing something to the table. Sometimes it's similar things, but often it's effectively functional the same. And business a partnership is, we are both bringing something to the table. Sometimes it's similar things, but often it's different things. We are complimenting each other. And we both, one doesn't really work without the other.
Starting point is 01:15:32 It's really a good team effort. It's really a part, it's you're out, you're out in the wild, you're out at a cocktail party. What way are you working this room? What way are you migrating? And how are you handling a wedding? And how are you handling your vacation and your day to day and your parenting and just like, how are you handling a wedding and how are you handling your vacation and your day-to-day and your parenting?
Starting point is 01:15:47 And just like, how are you both contributing to each other and to the world as what are you bringing to the table? What is this partnership? And is one person going to feel at some point like the giving tree, like I'm the one doing all the work here. You know, it could be that the woman's doing all the work
Starting point is 01:16:02 with the parenting, which is a much bigger job. And like that's being belittled by the man in traditional roles, in traditional provider roles, which we don't have to get into if you married a manny, then you're a fucking idiot, because that's not going to work. So, so, uh, so basically in traditional roles, what is each person bringing to the table? You also said something earlier where you were talking about
Starting point is 01:16:22 not dimming people's light. I think like sometimes people get in a relationship and it's like they... they kind of try to dim who their partner is and not, like, celebrate who the person is. And I think the reason that we've had success in our relationship is, like, I'm all about her being her, no matter how absurd it can be. Like, that's what I think it's, like, endearing, and that's, like, what I was attracted to in the beginning. Exactly. That's like Keith with Mark. Exactly. That's exactly I think it's like endearing and that's like what I was attracted to in the beginning exactly That's like Keith with Mark exactly that's exactly
Starting point is 01:16:47 But I'll see you know like I get a kick out of when especially Marks are there like we're all at dinner and like they're marking him or doing that or her doing the thing He gets on a fucking roll. Yeah, and it's like it's like I you know like I've seen sometimes my male friends They'll get with maybe somebody who's outspoken and they start to do that and they kind of try to like dumb it down That's not good. That's not gonna go well for you. My friend got with like the party animal and then five years later, she doesn't want him to party. Yeah, she's like, I don't.
Starting point is 01:17:11 But she fell in love with him because he's a party animal. It's like, now let me change you. It's like that doesn't work. By the way, that's what you're ultimately saying. But a lot of these life coaches and people can evolve and can change but they really have to want to.
Starting point is 01:17:23 Right. So it's like, you can't change a person. You have to work on you, but you could end up leaving a person if they don't change and they devolve, because meeting someone in college who's the partier, when they're 55, it's different. So you have to really think about
Starting point is 01:17:37 if you're growing together, like a business, how are we shifting? How is this business shifting? What are we moving into? Are we both on board with that? I think it really is like that. And I think that's why I actually like this time in life to meet people, because we're still in the game.
Starting point is 01:17:54 We still have action, but we still have a good sense of exactly who we are and what we want. And I think that women who think that it's harder now are doing themselves a disservice because it's easier. You know so much more specifically exactly what you want. You won't waste time on what you don't want. And that's what being in your 20s is for, being out and just fucking around, doesn't matter.
Starting point is 01:18:12 One of the reasons that I wanted to interview you personally is I'm so curious how you do all these different businesses, all these different things you're working on, and you're such a good mother. It's not easy. I mean, for me, like, I'm here right now in New York, my kids are in Austin. You feel, I feel bad. I feel bad I'm not there to wake up
Starting point is 01:18:34 and take them to school. How do you, like, manage all that? You have to have the day, and hopefully it's today for you, that you let that go in this sense. You be, you are equally a business person, an entertainer in the media industry, as much as you are a mother. And if you were me and you were dating,
Starting point is 01:18:54 you also, because this is another thing that happens with a lot of men, a lot of divorced men, they have to become super dad and they have to tell everybody, I'm a very involved dad. They want a fucking cookie for being a very involved dad, okay? No, great, great. Congrats.
Starting point is 01:19:05 What are you putting on your fucking resume? Okay. What do you, what was the opposite? Deadbeat dad? Just be a dad. It's okay. You don't get a cookie for that. Women don't, I'm a very involved mom.
Starting point is 01:19:14 The point is I will say to someone, if someone like will not be a good partner to me because they're very involved dad, I'm like, I don't work that way. My daughter knows. I would like to meet someone and be in a relationship and be a good partner as much as I'm a good mother, as much as I'm a good business person.
Starting point is 01:19:32 I'm not gonna sit around and try to apologize for the things that I do and pretend to everybody. Like I'm only a month, like parenting comes first. Like I'll be on the phone. My daughter will call and like a man that I'm seeing will be like, go get that, my daughter's not, one limb is not hanging off. She's just calling me about fucking boba. Relax. Like that's not how we roll. We're not desperate weirdos. Like my daughter is gonna be a grown-ass woman herself. And I'm not gonna like run home and panic because the size of a frozen yogurt was too small.
Starting point is 01:20:02 It's okay. So I one day was on stage in Washington and I used to feel so guilty because I just couldn't handle it. Even though I was like, I wouldn't do, I was at a photo shoot, I was like taking all the food to go to eat with her. I wouldn't want to miss one minute. I like, I never had a nanny.
Starting point is 01:20:17 I was completely manic. I would never go out at night. Also because I was in a divorce with someone who was literally saying, you're a pig animal if I would go out one time in three months. Like I had, I was like a divorce with someone who was literally saying, you're a pig animal if I would go out one time in three months. Like I had, I was like in the mind control program of like, you're never allowed to leave your child.
Starting point is 01:20:31 I had to literally deprogram myself. But one time I was on stage and I was asked the question about the balance and I had never had an answer for it. And on that day, for some reason I said, I am as much present here with you as I am with my daughter. So where you get into trouble is then you're not present with your kids. And then you're not present when you're on stage
Starting point is 01:20:51 because you're worried about it. If you be whole in both. And you know when it's too much. You know when it's like, but you don't apologize to your kids for working. They should know you work. And so it took me a long time to get to the point where even now where I have my daughter 90% of the time,
Starting point is 01:21:06 where I'm like, and I'll ask a couple of people. I'll say, so I'm with my daughter this week five days and I'm gonna go to LA to do this experience for two nights. Like, is that, they're like, what are you talking, of course you're gonna do that. So, you know, you could ask and crowdsource parents who've been through and they're like, what are you fucking crazy?
Starting point is 01:21:22 Of course you're gonna do that. But by and large, you're supposed to be working, and you're supposed to be parenting, and you're not supposed to feel guilty about it, because it's wasted, and they're not going to remember any of this, and you're a good parent, and you've got to just let that go right now.
Starting point is 01:21:35 That is some of the best advice that I've ever received on this show about parenting. I've asked a lot of women who are busy that question. That was great advice. Yeah, enough. My mother worked my whole life, and I remember being a little kid and like, and she still works, you know, she's and went and I, and I appreciate it now a lot as I'm older because you're right. Like I remember her being gone, but also it was an example of someone going and working,
Starting point is 01:21:55 especially being a woman. And, and it was like, this thing was like, listen, this is what I do. Like I do this, I provide it and then I come back and I'm with you. And it was, it's like, But it's also what they're going to do. It's just not, it's not, it's like, they're not wrapped in bubble wrap. They're not supposed to have everything be perfect. And in the fifties, the mothers that smoked cigarettes, drank Chardonnay while pregnant and opened the back door and said, this is free range parenting.
Starting point is 01:22:18 See, a fucking eight, eight o'clock for dinner. They were with their kids less than working moms are now because that is not being with your kid. Some parents I know, some divorced parents I know, the kid is in the same house, the kid's on their device the entire day. Anyway, it's like, that's not being together. Like I'm going with my daughter this weekend,
Starting point is 01:22:36 snowboarding for four days. Like we will come back, feel nourished. I sit down and we do meal planning and like I love just the talking about it in the morning on the way, driving her to school on the way, which is a new thing, because she used to be an hour, but not doing it on the way home. And then sometimes she's like,
Starting point is 01:22:50 mom, can we go to like, you know, the supermarket and just like walk up and down the aisle, stay together after school, and I'll pick her up on those days. Like, but we talk about it. We talk about it. And also they will push as far as you'll go. Like there are days where they'll try to make you guilty.
Starting point is 01:23:04 And you're just like, no, that, no, none of this is working. No, this isn't working now, sorry. My best friend says they all need a little measured adversity. Yeah, it's just, this is life. It's not perfect. Before you go, I have to ask you another question that I feel like the whole audience wants to know.
Starting point is 01:23:20 How do you think about your time? I know you have like a funnel. You've talked about, you did an episode that was, I was like crying laughing that you did, that you said like you wouldn't wake up for $10,000, something along the lines. Explain in your context. You could not pay me $10,000 to like disrupt me during sleep.
Starting point is 01:23:38 Like to do the glam and the this and the that. You were talking about a red carpet and how you have to go and then. And you're so right. It's so much fucking work to do. I'm not complying. I'm just saying, give Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian their flowers. Oh my God. I will be traumatized for four months after going, I went to L'Oreal Paris Fashion Week. I felt like I had been underneath the Pamplona running of the bulls. Like being trampled up.
Starting point is 01:23:59 Yeah. Yeah, it's not, but I'm always going, my mind's always going to, that's a lot of, all the stuff that doesn't look like a lot Of work and looks fun. All that that stuff is work I've gotten better at it and more adjusted and I'm well rested. I have gatekeepers and everything is gate kept I do not do it if I don't want to do it like it has to be something great to do I just don't I don't believe in like halfway there. What's like the funnel? Like how do you when you get all these opportunities,
Starting point is 01:24:25 what's your way of feeling? What's the filter? The filter is, the filter is A, I'm excited about it. I'm excited about it, I'm interested in it. It might not be somebody else is interested in. Maybe it's about high-end watches or something strange that everyone else would think I wouldn't be interested.
Starting point is 01:24:44 I'm like, this I'm interested in because of this. Or it's about high-end watches or something strange that everyone else would think I wouldn't be interested. I'm like, this I'm interested in because of this. Or it's like comedy. Like I'm doing something for so much less money than I would normally do because it's for a Netflix adult comedy show. Like that is bullseye. Like that's like adjacent to Saturday Night Live. Like that's different.
Starting point is 01:25:00 Sidebar, you're one of the only women that I've seen talk about watches in a very educated way. I love watches. I'm a watchmaker. I know watches. And I watch you talk about watches and you know your watches. I know my watches.
Starting point is 01:25:11 I have a series collection. So, or it's charity. I've sat like in the toilet bowl seat to go to Guatemala to do charity. Like that's a different bucket. You'll just be exhausted. You'll feel dirty. You'll feel gross. And you'll do things you would never do for like relief work like that's a different bucket. You'll just be exhausted. You'll feel dirty, you'll feel gross and you'll do things you would never do for like relief work.
Starting point is 01:25:28 That's a different bucket. It just doesn't count. It's just like you're doing something and it's weird to be like caring about being first class to go. So that's different. And then there's just, then there's money. There's just like, this is a lot of money.
Starting point is 01:25:40 So, but even still, even for a lot of money, like I won't do a big big big brand came and they said a 12-hour photo shoot I was like a 12 I was like there's never never but usually someone thinks something's a six-hour photo shoot and it's two I'm very fast at everything I do so just there's nothing I want to do for 12 hours the fact that I went to lead in a lifetime movie in Canada where they paid me a lot more than they pay anyone for 12 days. The fact that I went to lead in a lifetime movie in Canada, where they paid me a lot more than they pay anyone for 12 days. I was like, I think I'm going insane. I've never done anything for 12 days. I don't do anything for 12 days. So I went to, because
Starting point is 01:26:14 I was going to check a new box. Did you get sleep when you got back? Did you get to sleep? It wasn't that it was exhausting. It was just very strange to be in a trailer and wait all day and then say, oh, I'm going to meditate and I would do yoga. I'm gonna write 20. But I just felt weird in a trailer. So I might be like a little bit of like a diva actress. What beauty products do we need to be looking at right now? I
Starting point is 01:26:37 have to ask you that people will get mad. I mean, it's well you have to not sleep on drugstore, which is amazing. Like, what's amazing? I would say the big deal new L'Oreal mascara is, it is a big deal, because it doesn't clump, it separates and it curls, so that's a big deal. They also have a good new lip oil, because it's $10. Emco is now at Target, and it's like less than $10. I'm giving things that are affordable. If you're in like the rich bitch category,
Starting point is 01:27:09 I just talked about like in the Borghese mud mask. I, it's very, it's different. I think, I think, I'm trying to think of what other things I'm really- Any chicken salad brand? Well- Michael's like, what? Chicken salad brand. the thing is actually you're making this idea better I just was talking to that. I met the people
Starting point is 01:27:32 From Jersey Mike's the president of Jersey Mike's and I think they would be they're adding chicken salad and they have tuna salad I know I'm gonna end up going in there and redoing the chicken salad a tuna salad But like I really think that I should be formulating their chicken salad like to perfection. There's no fucking way that I would. How do you have such a taste for chicken salad? I just love, I've never, it was like something I never said out loud that I just love tuna salad and chicken salad. I always have, I always have it, I always get it, I've always loved it.
Starting point is 01:28:00 And I just didn't know the people didn't, that wasn't in their vernacular, their culinary vernacular. I did not know. So I just started talking about it, which is like, I guess it became a niche thing. I was talking, I didn't know. And so it just, everyone was like, oh my God, you've got me obsessed with chicken salad. I also did, I did start cottage cheese.
Starting point is 01:28:17 People could talk about it now and talk about the new brands. I had cottage cheese with pate the other day because of you. Because it started when I was on Instagram, home during the beginning of the pandemic. I was talking about cottage cheese. And fun fact, I was offered several hundred thousand dollars from a big cottage cheese brand that I turned down. Why?
Starting point is 01:28:32 Because there was a personal conflict of someone that I know that was like, like a rival of them in the dairy industry. I can't even. That's how you know you have confidence when you just claim cottage cheese. So I'm claiming cottage cheese. Yeah, I could claim cottage cheese.
Starting point is 01:28:43 Yeah. I've added, I'm partially claiming everything season. I'm claiming cottage cheese. Yeah, I could claim cottage cheese, yeah. I've added, I'm partially claiming everything this season. I'm not claiming it. And I'm definitely partially claiming versions of caviar for schizel. She tries all these caviar. But now I'm like thinking about the La Scala chicken chop salad, because you said you worked there. That's different.
Starting point is 01:29:01 That's chicken on a salad. Yeah, yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh my God. Wow. This is a totally different thing. Yeah. Whoa. Oh my god Ten minutes segment I'm having another baby with this guy last ten minutes. I've been I've been a little out You wouldn't know now he has no attachment to food that's not true. I like I've never heard him say he craves anything I like food. I just don't know you're the guy that I don't ruminate about it You're the guy in the first date that says I eat to live I don't leave
Starting point is 01:29:29 Yeah, I don't say that I like Don't care. I care but I just don't you don't care. I just don't ruminate about it No, we already got you don't say say less Yeah, because whatever you chicken salad it was scala that you just thought that was a sick. Now that's weird. God, I just said I like it now, okay, you know what? It's fine.
Starting point is 01:29:49 It's not even chicken salad. The Scala salad, you add chicken, because I was the hostess there. It's just a chopped salad and you can add chicken. It's not a chicken salad. Right. How can everyone support everything you're doing? I know they already follow you,
Starting point is 01:30:02 but like everything you're doing with your charity efforts. Tell us all the things. Be strong. It is bethenny.com slash be strong. B-E-T-H-E-N-N-Y. 100% goes to the effort. There really is no one that does what we do from an efficiency standpoint, a lean standpoint, and no one stretches a dollar.
Starting point is 01:30:20 No one. We have our numbers compared to the government numbers that are public that no one can... It's not people only talk about how much goes to the charity, but how. How are you... How much goes to Hermes? Like how much... You know what I'm saying? Like how much... How are you spending the money? Are you an efficient business person? Are you economical? That's as important. So say someone gives you a hundred dollars. Explain it in layman's terms. If someone gives us $100, that's going to cash cards to individual people to rebuild their own lives, get exactly what they need, and it rebuilds their communities.
Starting point is 01:30:54 But we get grants and we get money from some major people that really look at the P&L and exactly how are you spending those grants? Where is that money exactly going? In other words, how much are you spending on, not Like where is that money exactly going? And how, like in other words, how much are you spending on, not me, cause Be Strong 100% goes to the effort, but my 501c3 partner, what's being spent on this warehouse? What's going through trucking and shipping
Starting point is 01:31:16 and things like that? It's the way that we spend money. It's disruptive actually is what it is in this industry. People don't realize how much shit doesn't go actually to what you're thinking it goes to. No, it's very corrupt. There are a lot of people that go in there and reclaim aid and money gets wasted and it's a very corrupt place. And celebrities, that will happen soon. That will be another resistance revolution where people will realize not to just trust a celebrity link because they don't know what the link means. So kind of like a me too reckoning situation.
Starting point is 01:31:47 It's not that they're just, they're just regurgitating. They think they're doing well, but it's not. They don't know what it means. You can't promote anything if you don't know exactly what it is. Now listen, I don't know exactly how every lip gloss I talk about is made. I definitely don't.
Starting point is 01:32:01 I don't even know if they're clean and great. I don't. That's for someone else to do. But if you're telling people in an absolute horrific crisis where to donate, you better have a decent understanding of how much is going, where it's going, was it on Charity Navigator, and you should just have an understanding of it. Because I have a bunch of examples of celebrities that have had to give back money because they raised it and they had nowhere to put it, no way to distribute it.
Starting point is 01:32:27 Bethany Frankel, I could have asked you 600 other questions. Come back anytime. Thank you. Thank you for, I'm glad we made it to the filter. Go listen to our podcast. I like, I told you off air, I love your rants. Thank you. The rants are amazing.
Starting point is 01:32:39 Thank you.

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