The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - BONUS 2: I WANT HER JOB ft. The Skinny Confidential

Episode Date: April 27, 2017

In this special Thursday edition of "The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast," Managing Editor & Co-founder of "I Want Her Job: The Podcast" Polina Selyutin, interviews Lauryn. They discuss how Lauryn engages with her audience, her mindset for setting goals, dealing with criticism, how she built her brand and so much more. Tune in, as Lauryn shares some practical advice for the aspiring Blogger. To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn’s latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you’ll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

Thanks for downloading this show from PC1. Before we get rolling, here's a word from one of the folks who helped bring you this podcast. The following program is a PodcastOne.com presentation. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Conf ready for some major realness.

Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her. All right, all right, all right. We are going to do something different today. It's Thursday. You guys aren't used to hearing me on Thursday, but here I am. So I wanted to share this podcast that I was on because it kind of gives you the ins and outs of the behind the scenes and how I developed the Skinny Confidential. I discuss how I engage with my audience, my mindset for setting goals, dealing with criticism, and a bunch more. Basically just showing you guys how I chipped away every single day. And obviously I still have a long way to go. So Paulina from I Want Her Job

interviews me and we just get really into the nitty gritty of it. I want her job is a website that inspires connection, community and conversation in your career. I really like her podcast. I hope you guys like this interview. Make sure you follow Paulina on Instagram at I want her job. Happy listening. This is the skinny confidential him and her. It's so funny.

I knew I'm a really big believer in creating a strategic future. So what I like to do is when I want to do a goal, I'll work back and set systems on how to get to that goal. So when people are like, when did you realize this was going to be your full-time job? I can honestly say, and I mean this, is that I knew it was going to be a full-time job when I, when I had the idea, because that's what I was set out to do. There was no like

wishy-washy BS. Like that's what I was doing. This is the way I was going to get there. Um, I was so broke, like overdrawn in my account, a hundred dollars broke, like horrible, like debt from college working as a bartender. And, um, I was a horrible employee, like the worst. Tell us more about that because you seem so driven and I mean, you're able to set these strategic goals and meet them. How are you about, I can't see how you'd be a bad employee. I was the worst employee on the planet. I was always late because I was working on my blog. I would go in the bathroom and blog. I mean, I was the worst, like just horrible employee.

And what I realized about myself is I don't like being put in a square. And so I feel like with the job I was working at, they put me in a square and told me what I had to do and the way I had to do it and when I had to be there. And I, that's not how I thrive and flourish. So I'm a big believer in looking at how you thrive and, and, and really zoning in on that and, and using that as a strength as opposed to a weakness. So when I was bartending, I was, I was unstimulated. I was bored.

I was, I just wasn't excited. And so when I started the Skinny Confidential, I started to just put all my energy there and I had this other job and I knew that sooner or later I was going to be focusing full time. So I think when when people say, when did I know this was a full time job? I knew right when I decided to do it because I set systems on how to get out of bartending, if that makes sense. Yeah. I love that. And what were, so when you say you had strategic goals, did you say, I'm going to work on this five hours a day or what were some of the kind of goals that you set for yourself to get to, you know, to grow? I think so. So say someone's listening out there that wants to be a blogger, you have to set systems on how to get there. So some of my systems where I would post every single day at three o'clock because I saw white noise at three o'clock and I'm a big believer in taking advantage of white noise. So basically white

noise is doing what everyone else. So if everyone else is doing something, you want to hit that white noise. So everyone was posting in the morning. So I was like, okay, I'm going to post at 3 p.m. And I would post every day at the same time. I would shoot my content during the day after teaching pure bar and Pilates. I would write my blog post like 20 minutes, 30 minutes before I went to work because I really thrive under pressure.

I think I'm a better writer when I have no time. I would be a half an hour late for work. And then I would literally go in the bathroom and post on all social channels. I would took advantage of WeHeartIt at the time. I don't know how WeHeartIt does now, but there was a lot of white noise on there. No one was posting on there, but there was a big audience. So I found platforms that there was a lot of people on, but a lot of bloggers weren't utilizing as opposed to just using Instagram and Facebook. And so I would post every single day, the second I got to work on all these social

channels. And then I would come home and it was like 12 or one. And I would like literally sit in my room until two 30 in the morning, returning emails, like streamlining things, making sure everything was set up for the next day, editing the post, returning comments. I'm a huge believer in engagement. I think that the reason that I have a platform is because of the community and the audience and to not engage with them, like just doesn't, I just don't even understand not engaging with your, with your audience. So I would go and engage with them. And then I would go to bed and do the same thing every single day. So every day felt like when I laid my head on the pillow that I had built the skinny confidential in some small way. And it doesn't have to be a

huge way. It could be like you wrote a couple pages of a book that you're, that you're working towards, or, you know, you did a giveaway for your readers. Like anything that just feels like it's building the brand, um, is, is setting systems and working towards a bigger goal. Love it. And so if you were describing the skinny confidential to somebody who's never seen it before, how would you define what it is that you do? Um, Oh, I think that what I do is like a medley of everything. Um, if you ask me what I like to do, I like to write. Um, that's my, that's my favorite thing to do. And I like to take pictures, but it's bigger than that. Now it's turned into something that's that, that requires, you know, accounting and bookkeeping and employees and, and there's so much more dynamic.

So as far as what I do, I would say that I'm a content creator with, you know, taking pictures and writing, but I'm also a podcaster. And I mean, I created a fitness and ebook. So kind of like, I like to share my tips and tricks and secrets. But also, there's a lot of back end that people don't see, they don't see all the social media planning, they don't see what goes into like doing a newsletter. There's a lot of employees, there's things like this, like interviews. There's just, it's kind of like, I mean, I feel like you, you know what I'm talking about? Cause I'm looking at your website and it seems like you're kind of a Jack of all trades.

And how big is your team now? Our team is about six people. Uh, three of them work in office and then three of them work out of office yeah and and as you think about you know where your goals for the skinny confidential for this year and beyond what excites you the most or are there opportunities you haven't yet done i mean it sounds like you're doing so much you have the book and now you like this fitness plan um what else i am very hard on myself. I think that, um, like I always want to be reaching. I never want to get comfortable. I, I really think I have such a long way to go. So I think what excites me is, um, is that with the internet, you can take what you do and anyone can to anywhere. I mean, you can do anything. You

can create product, you can create an ebook, you could create consulting, you know, you can do a podcast, you can write a book. What's really cool to me and excites me about the internet is that you really can do anything and you can be anyone. And, um, you know, that's, that's what I hope that this podcast with you can get across to everyone is that anyone can kind of create their own strategic future. You're kind of the writer of it. So that that gets me really excited. And I also think that it's important to to not sometimes be so hard on myself and to celebrate little things as opposed to just looking towards the next thing.

Absolutely. I mean, you have a lot to be proud of and you're living proof of what you just said. I mean, here you are six years later, six people on your team and branching out to so many things. And I love how on your website you say your goal is to connect with women from around the world and to showcase major realness. And I think especially today with what's happening in the world, we need more of that. So can you tell us about some of the ways that you think that you are able to connect from one moment around the world? Yeah, I think that the days are over when you ask someone where they got their shirt and they say they don't remember,

I just think it's about collaborating and not competing and, and bringing other people up. I don't think there's anything wrong with, um, you know, bloggers helping other bloggers. It doesn't have to be so narcissistic. I think what people want to see now is there's power in numbers. There's power in connecting with other women and uplifting other women. And I'm all about sharing all my tips and tricks that you're cultivating a community when you are, you know, honest and you talk about, you know, shaving your face and camel toes and vagina stinging. Like these are there's so many things that a lot of people don't want to talk about because there's like kind of a facade going on right now on the internet. And so I kind of want to rip that off and share like behind the scenes, what's really going on. And so thinking of sharing things, so as you make decisions regarding new content, what to keep, what to remove, what to expand, how do you, how do you make some of those decisions? And, um, are you like deep in your Google analytics or how do you kind of decide what to do next? Okay. So I don't even look at my Google analytics. Okay. I think, and I, what I do is I let the

audience guide me. So I almost pretend like I'm blind and the audience is guiding me where to go. So I'm so engaged with my readership and audience on a day-to-day basis. In fact, it's a huge chunk of my day. Every day I sit down for like two hours or an hour, I would say an hour in the morning, maybe two hours at night and connect with them. I return every Snapchat message, every email, every like every question. So what, what it's doing is they're paving the way because they're telling me what they want. Snapchat has been incredible because they screenshot what they like. So say I post like a moisturizer, they'll screenshot it and I can literally see my target demo from Snapchat by them screenshotting it. Then they'll message me that they love the post on acupressure

mats. So that tells me that they're really loving wellness trends. Um, sometimes they don't like stuff and I'll pay attention to that. And I think that what guides me has nothing to do with numbers or analytics. It has to do with the audience. Interesting. So walk us through a typical day in your life. So you get up, you start. How do you plan out your day? It depends where I am.

If I'm at home in San Diego, I get up. I'm very anal about my morning routine. I like to get up with nothing that raises my cortisol because it starts the day off bad for me. If I have anxiety in the morning, it doesn't sit right. I like to wake up with essential oils and lemon water and coffee. I like to make the bed every morning. I'm very weird about that. Like, I just think that making the bed is such a simple task, but it kind of sets the tone of the whole day. And then I'll, I'll get to my emails and, um, my Snapchat's been huge

to kind of respond to everyone and eat breakfast. And, um, my day right now is calendar down to a T because I am very chaotic and, um, I definitely have a lot of weaknesses. So calendaring it makes it less chaotic. And it's, it allows me to feel like I have control over the day. If I don't calendar my day, I get in a funk because I'm all over the place. So my husband is the complete opposite of me. He's like very, very, he's always on time. He's very anal. His calendar like even has like one to read at night. He's kind of taught me to implement those systems.

And I think that time blocking has helped. It's this little cube that I got off Amazon that helps time block spaces of the day where I need to really sit down and concentrate. And lastly, I would just say, like, I am not a fan of working straight throughout the whole day. I'm, like, very much, like, almost like a starving artist. I need to, like, have kind of spaces throughout the day. So I really enjoy writing at night, really late. Like I said, I like to write under pressure. So when it's getting late, I'll start to write. But my day changes every single day.

I do have an office. I try to get in there as much as I can. But a lot of my stuff is at home because the blog is about lifestyle. So there's a lot of shoots at home. So it just kind of changes every day. Got it. And I love, I think you said on one of your podcasts that, um, you know, that you wouldn't go back to a type of the job that you hated. Um, and, and you're really, you're really firm about that. And I love that because I've been in jobs I've hated and stayed way too long

and it just seemed to me like you have this confidence and was it always this way and if not, how did your confidence evolve over the past six years? I've had a lot of different things happen when I was younger that was a lot of adversity

so having control over my own life is extremely important to me and I think that, that was a lot of adversity. So having control over my own life is extremely important to me. And I think that that maybe that's where there that's where there's kind of an inner confidence. But at the same time, there's definitely times where I doubt myself, like, I don't want to sit here and be like, I'm so I mean, I definitely have times of doubt. I think that what you do there, and this has really worked for me, is you prevent the situation from happening. So I know, like I said, if I wake up with a phone in my face and I don't do kind of my routine, then my cortisol will spike. So I do things to prevent that from happening. What I

think a lot of people do is they let it happen and then they have to remedy the situation. So I find that like if I practice yoga twice a week, my anxiety goes down 50%. So I practice yoga twice a week. And if I don't practice yoga, anxiety creeps in. So I just always am constantly preventing anxiety or stress or insecurity by doing things that have to do with wellness. Like an acupressure mat has really been helping me lately. I think, you know, getting outside, getting fresh air, like it's really important to do things so you don't feel anxiety. So I think that's maybe where some of the confidence comes from. I also surround myself with a lot of people that elude charisma and confidence and, and they're smart. I really try to, um, have no toxic energy.

And as far, as far as not going back to like a nine to five or working for someone else, I literally would rather sleep on a couch at my friend's apartment than go work for someone else. I would be miserable. Now that's me. Everyone's different. And I think that that's kind of what I want people to leave the skinny confidential with that when you go on the skinny confidential and you leave, I want you to feel like you can be the best version of yourself. And if that's working nine to five and you're a kick-ass employee, then you do you. For me, I would like, I'd rather die. Like I just, it's just not in my blood. So I will do everything and anything to, to take the skinny confidential where I want it to go. I will make

sacrifices and, and, and I'm totally okay with that. Yeah. Well, you are smart lady. I'd love to hear a little about your early influences where you grew up, your family. How do you think your background influenced maybe your creativity and the goals that you've created for yourself? My family, I grew up in San Diego. I have very close relationship with my grandma.

She just passed away a couple months ago, which has been really devastating. I introduced her to the Skinny Confidential, and, like, the audience just fell in love with her. Huge personality. I have a little sister, and then I also have a stepsister and brother, and my stepsister works for me. And I went to kind of like, I went to a high school that was very like Laguna beach. And what kind of happened was that I came from humble beginnings, but I was surrounded by people that, you know, were very wealthy. And so what that did for me is like, I had, I had to figure to figure it out and I was if I had to name my life before 18 it would be I had to figure it out I had to figure everything out like I had to figure out

how to get a nice car I had to figure out how how to find a job at 14 I had to figure out like everything was like me figuring out angles and And what that did for me is that I think that it allowed me to be in uncomfortable situations and figure it out. You know, when, when you're handed everything, you kind of don't have to figure it out. It's done for you. And so that's kind of, I would say that's the theme of my childhood was figuring it out. Absolutely. And here you are doing that again. And it's interesting.

I can see how that led you to be such an independent lady today. I'd love to hear more about your grandma and tell me about her. How were some of the ways that she influenced you? So she just had so much charisma. I think that's, to me, that's the most attractive trait. I think charisma is like just, when you allude charisma, I think it's beautiful. So she had so much charisma and she was friends with everyone in town. And she, it's so funny because looking back and I never really have acknowledged this, but she had to figure it out too.

She was always, you know, kind of, she was working until she was 86. So just working for the skinny confidential, she would come down here. She booked a collaboration. I think she booked like three where she had to like come make up ready. She was always like a hustler and she also was a friend. And so it was really nice to be able to have someone that was such a strong woman like that and to be able to bring her into my world and for her to evolve in my world was incredible. Like to have an 86-year-old understand what a blog was was just insane. I love that. She sounds amazing. And what about if you think about other women today that you admire or if somebody was to ask you who are your superheroes aside from your grandmother, what would you say? I admire anyone that's doing that. It doesn't have to be like a celebrity or a big person, like anyone that's living their truth. Um, I read something the other day that when you are criticizing other people,

you're criticizing someone that you see it's because you're not living your authentic self and they are. And I think that when you feel stifled and you're not living your truth and you're doing things that you don't want to do every day, it's, um, it's drowning. So anyone that's living the way they want to live, beating to the tune of their own drum, not doing what society tells them to do is, is total role model in my eyes. I am just a believer in everyone doing that. Everyone's different. Everyone's special. Everyone's unique. And I think that everyone should utilize that. Somebody who is really into self-development and yet you have this business that you're running. How do you make time for that? And what are some of the things that you do to keep learning and growing? I am always reading. I think that Charlie Munger, who is Warren Buffett's advisor, he is very, very, very smart.

Michael, my husband's laughing at me because he introduced me to him, but he's his partner. So he says that he's one of the most successful men in the world. And he said that he sets blocks aside every day to read. I think reading is so important. And I'm going to give my husband credit again because he's like laughing in his office. He's a huge reader. He probably reads like three books a week.

I love that. I'm a huge reader too. And I've gotten Munger's book based. I think he's probably listened to Tim Ferriss podcast who recommended him. Very cool. Oh yeah. We've listened to tim ferris's podcast all the time he says he's been he loves charlie munger um and we love tim ferris i think tim ferris is

incredible the community he's created i listen to podcasts all the time i don't like to have and that's another thing i do by the way when i'm making my coffee and my lemon water and my oils, I listen to podcasts. What are some of your favorites? I'm absolutely obsessed with Gary Vee. I think what he's done is amazing. I love Tim Ferriss. I also like lighter podcasts sometimes. I'll like to listen to Stassi because I find that that's kind of a way for me to check out and it's therapeutic

to listen just to her talk with her girlfriends. But mainly I listened to Gary and Tim and I always am doing it when I have downtime. So if I'm driving, I'm listening to a podcast. If I'm doing my makeup, I'm listening to a podcast or a book on tape. If I'm cooking, I'm listening to a podcast. So what I would say to anyone out there that's listening that there's so many tasks we do that don't require our full energy. And to listen to a podcast, you're just subconsciously learning. So that definitely helps. And then I also am a huge fan of surrounding yourself with people that have strengths that you don't have. So I'm not going to do my own bookkeeping.

That's a waste of my time and energy. So I hire out. I'm not a graphic designer, so I hire out. I am really about me really working on my strengths and having people around me that can do my weaknesses. Absolutely. Another thing I wanted to ask you, so you have this platform and there's so much potential opportunity to send messages out. What excites you the most about the platform and the writing that you're able to by kind of the skinny confidential lifestyle to take

their life and put it on steroids and be the best version. Like if people can walk away and think like, I don't have to do this. I can do this. I don't have to be like that. I can be like me. That's what I want. I mean, I just want to utilize all of my platforms to show women especially that you can do whatever you want like there's no there's no cap you can grow and with the internet now I mean you really can and doing that doesn't need to seem so big it can just be something little that you do every day if you want to write write a book, write three pages a day. That's a system to get to a goal. It might take you three years, but at least you feel at the end of the day, like I said, when you lay down on your pillow, that you've done something to build something that you're passionate about.

Absolutely. One of your podcasts about dealing with criticism. And I mean, you're very public and obviously you're out there. So how do you deal with, um, with criticism and I mean, you're very public and obviously you're out there. So how do you deal with, um, with criticism and how are you able to shut it off? I mean, I get criticism all day long, but here's the thing. I'd rather have criticism all day long than be doing something I don't want to do and working for someone that I don't want to be working for. So you got to here's with anything you do that's good. There's, there's a struggle. So you have to outweigh like what, if you can't deal with criticism, probably being an influencer is not the right way to go. I'll be honest here. Like there's been so many times where it bothers me, but now it's the point that people have literally said everything

and anything they could possibly say about me and my family and my husband and my friends. It's just like, it's almost to the point where it's like, okay, like, you know, I address it, it makes sense to address. So if it's something that that's a legitimate critique, I'm totally happy to be like, you know what, I was wrong, or actually like addressing it in some capacity. But if it's if it's just something that has nothing to do with anything, like someone the other day said, Oh, your voice is so annoying. I mean, I can't change my voice. This is my voice. Like, I don't don't like don't listen to my Snapchat. I don't know what to say that I can't change my voice. There's nothing really to address with something like that. Yeah. No, I love it. It sounds like you've built up an immunity towards it. Um, and you're right. I mean, they're criticizing

while you're leading the life you want to lead. So, um, just respect to you. And, and that's great. And do you think it is kind of like immunity? Cause when I think to myself, how I would deal with it, it's probably a first extremely painful and you get anxiety and soon it like kind of starts to evaporate. Is that how it goes? I don't know. I don't know if I've developed an immunity. I mean, things will definitely still hurt my feelings, but I just don't like let it affect my energy. So if it upsets me, I just try to move on to the next. I keep

moving. I have movement. Like if I just like sat there and wallowed in it, I, I mean, I'd be wallowing all day. So I try to take the negative energy and channel it towards something that's better. I'm sure that the Kardashians like still, still get upset with certain things that are said. But you know, the Kardashians are doing their own thing. They're growing their business. So, so that's their truth. They're living it. And people, people are always going to criticize you. Just a lot of it's behind your back. So the way I look at it is like people were criticizing me before I started the skinny confidential behind my back. Now they just do it to my face.

Yeah. Good attitude. And lastly, um, anything you'd want to share with us that people might be surprised by about you? Probably that I'm actually very quiet. When I'm at home, I'm like very like my husband and I, we like to watch movies and we like a lot of alone time. We like to just be with our dogs. I think that social media has definitely brought out an alter ego.

But I need quiet time to recharge to be the best version of myself. And that's like, that's what I said earlier. It's like, I can wait. I need to prevent me from, from kind of being drained by recharging. And if I don't recharge, then the problem's already there and it gets worse. So again, my advice with anxiety or stress or needing a recharge is recognize that you need that before it happens. Totally. Such great advice you've given us. And I'm so impressed with what you built and look forward to watching, watching your platform grow. So thank you. Thanks for sharing all this. Thank you so much. I love your platform as well. And I can't wait to listen to all of your podcast episodes. All right. How was that Thursday episode? Did you guys like it? Let me know on my latest Instagram. I really, really appreciate you guys listening. Please subscribe,

rate and review the skinny confidential him and her podcast. And we will see you on Tuesday. Thanks for listening to the skinny confidential him and, with Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic. Download new episodes every Tuesday at PodcastOne.com or subscribe now on the Podcast One app. Hello there, you. It's me, Jay Moore. You know me from the Moore Stories podcast. I'm a comedian. I'm an actor.

And I talk to people that fascinate me me like Brandon Boyd from Incubus, super funny Jim Jeffries, Jay Leno, Charlie Sheen, Lakers owner Jeannie Buss, and a whole lot more. Download a few episodes of More Stories now.

More Stories podcast every Monday. Podcast One app, iTunes, podcastone.com.