The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Crystal Hefner On The Real Story Behind The Playboy Mansion & Life As A Playboy Bunny

Episode Date: January 29, 2024

#653: Today, we're sitting down with Crystal Hefner, widow of Playboy founder Hugh Hefner and author of 'Only Say Good Things,' where she offers a raw and unflinching look at the objectification and misogyny of the Playboy mansion, her stolen young adulthood, and her journey to finding internal validation, while providing a rare look into the final days of one of the most influential men of the 20th century. Today, we're discussing her story and how she got involved with Playboy, and how she became a wife of the infamous Hugh Hefner. She delves into the treatment of the Playboy bunnies at the mansion, how she got along with the other playmates, and how she's healed since Hugh's death in 2018.   To connect with Crystal Hefner click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts Bosstick click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE To subscribe to our YouTube Page click HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential This episode is brought to you by Tecovas Tecovas are handmade from the most premium leathers. Visit tecovas.com and point your toes west. This episode is brought to you by Heineken   100% taste. 0% alcohol. Click HERE to purchase. Must be 21+ to buy. This episode is brought to you by Wild Grain Wild Grain is the first ever bake-from-frozen subscription box for sourdough breads, fresh pastas, and artisanal pastries. Get $30 off your first box at wildgrain.com/SKINNY This episode is brought to you by Harry's Don't settle for the status quo. Blaze your own trail with Harry's.Get started with a $13 trial set for just $3 at harrys.com/skinny   This episode is brought to you by Kroma Use code SKINNY at kromawellness.com to get 15% off + free shipping on a 5 day reset   This episode is brought to you by Squarespace From websites and online stores to marketing tools and analytics, Squarespace is the all-in-one platform to build a beautiful online presence and run your business. Go to squarespace.com/skinny for a free trial & use code SKINNY for 10% off your first purchase of a website domain. Produced by Dear Media  

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to The Skinny Confidential, him and her. On the side I started modeling, I started doing cheesy stuff like $25 an hour handing out keychains at bars, you know, like Bud Light Girl or whatever.

Then I'd get like Comic Con. It was just kind of my experience in modeling. I would dress up as G.I. Jane. It was like $650 for the day. Yes. And this is cool. And I met a as G.I. Jane. It was like $650 for the day. Yes. And this is cool. And I met a few girls through doing that stuff. And one of them asked me if I wanted to submit my photo to go to a party at the Playboy Mansion. And that's how it started.

Holy shit. Today, we are sitting down with Crystal Hefner. You probably know her. She is the widow of Playboy founder Hugh Hefner. She is also an author, the author of Only Say Good Things, where she offers a raw, unflinching look at the behind the scenes of the Playboy Mansion. She talks about misogyny, her stolen young adulthood, and her journey to finding internal validation. In this episode, she is raw and open. I found her to be very self-aware with a lot of clarity. And I think this gives you a really rare look into the final days of one of the most influential men of the 20th century. Today on this episode, we're discussing her story from her perspective, how she got involved with Playboy, how she became a wife of the infamous Hugh Hefner, her treatment at the Playboy Mansion, her treatment from the Playboy bunnies at the mansion, how she got along with the other Playmates, how she's healing, and the power behind Playboy. Her book is phenomenal. I've been reading it. You know that if you're in my broadcast channel on Instagram. And I think that you're really going to be blown away at this episode.

Crystal Hefner, welcome to The Him and Her Show. This is the skinny confidential Him and Her. I have wanted to interview you for so long. I feel like I've gone through six different facets. I think if you check your DMs, there's a couple from me over the years. Yeah. And then I might have talked to your PR. I think I like tried to go through one of your friends. I just really wanted to interview you because your story is wild. The whole story. I'm so excited to read your book. I've pre-ordered it. Thank you. Yeah. I can't wait. And what I think

is so interesting is you just told me off air that you're not just like telling one part of your story. You're telling the whole story to give context to why you made certain decisions. Yes, I think that's very, very important. If you go way back to when you were young, what was your childhood like before any of this fame, fortune, meeting one of the biggest playboys literally and figuratively in the world? It was hard. And I think talking about that is important. Being at the mansion and part of that whole process for me was not really knowing who I was. And because of that, it was kind of dictated for me by Hef. So I think it's important to talk about, you know, I lost my dad when I was young. He was my best friend. And I'm sure people

can say what they want about that. But yeah, my parents came with me from England and we lived in San Diego. My dad was a singer, but they came here with no green cards, so it was a struggle. We struggled, and it was hard. And after losing my dad, it got harder with just my mom, single mom, illegally in a country, no green card. So she did what she could, and she ended up being a real estate agent and a broker and becoming successful but we did go through you know hard times and how old were you when you lost

your father 12 that's really young and also you've that's a you spent a lot of time with them it's not it's young but it's not so young that you didn't get a lot of time with them i mean like losing a parent at 12 years old, it's got to be devastating. Yeah, yeah, it was. You know, I was old enough to remember a lot of things about him, but, you know, it's still young. You know, you don't really know how to grieve or go through any of that, so.

I think it's also too hard for the other parent to know what to do in that circumstance. Like, I'm sure it was hard for your mom to like know how to handle that for you. Yeah, it was really hard for her. She would cry a lot, and I felt that I had to be the parent, you know, snap out of it, tough love, like, stop crying. I would just try to, like, help her through, her through like with tough love and here I am this little child. So, you know, she got through it and now we're, you know, now we're good. And no siblings?

I have two older sisters. They're much older than me. Okay. Were they in the house when your father passed? They had lived out of the house by then. So my mom is from England, as I mentioned earlier, and she had my sisters when she was 16 and 18. So in England back then, you finish school at 16. So you either, if you have enough money, you go to college or, you know, you start a family. So she had them young. Met my dad when they were two and four. Her husband was really abusive.

Where in San Diego? I started off in Imperial Beach, which is like right by the border. We grew up in San Diego. Yeah. That's why I wanted to know. So we moved to Imperial Beach because it was like the most affordable by the ocean. And then bad things were happening. Like people washed up, like trying, having, trying to cross the border,

like dead. And so, and then my dad kept getting arrested because he had darker skin when he would be in the sun. They would tell him like, knock off the phony accent. And he would, they would think he was Mexican trying to, I don't know, cross the border or something. So then we moved up to Chula Vista and then my dad passed away. And then we moved up to chula vista and then my dad passed away and then we moved up to la jolla village area i had a stepdad for a while that was awful it's in the book but i was lucky to have gone to la jolla high school so i went to la jolla high school great school san diego state yeah so did i really yeah you guys were probably there at the same time i went to san because you went to san diego state i did not know that and i've been best friends with you

since i was 12 are you sure you went to san diego state i feel like that's fake news i don't know if you were hanging out with lauren and crystal he might have been in a different crowd at that time but i don't think he went to san diego state it was 2000 to 2004 i was running off to bartend though i wasn't on campus ever. I wasn't either. Yeah, I was over all of the fun after high school. Two ships passing in the night. We were two ships passing in the night. I was not into the fraternity.

It was such a big sorority fraternity situation. I hated all of it. Yeah, I wanted to blow my head off. Especially being introverted. Yeah, I think I love like the school was like good to go to school there it was nice it was beautiful but i think it was definitely for someone who really wanted to get into greek life the greek life school yeah it's hard sorry to anyone who's like about to go there that doesn't like punching the air right now just i mean just

for me it's it's hard but you know i think my little college boyfriend he played hockey so he would sneak in all the alcohol for the greek people so yeah we were innocent then i don't really believe that taylor went to san diego state but that was a good talking point taylor with your stepdad why was that hard because you felt like he was replacing your dad or just he wasn't a good guy? He wasn't a good guy. I think because we had nothing. And at that time, I don't know, he drove a Mercedes and he lived in a townhouse.

Like, you know, we thought he was rich. Like, wow. Yeah, I just felt he had a daughter. I was like second he had a daughter. I was like second rate to the daughter. And yeah, he just, that was my first experience seeing a Playboy magazine. Your first experience seeing a Playboy magazine. He had tons.

They filled his office. So, yeah. He sounds like a real winner. He has an office full of Playboy magazines. No, at the time, I didn't like put it together i'm like this guy is just a total perv like i didn't i didn't think of it then but then i i did i had opened some of them and i just thought like wow these women are powerful they are powerful i love a playboy magazine famous they're listen i love a playboy magazine i've

just never heard of a guy having an office full of them besides guys used to collect them and they used to oh i didn't know okay oh my gosh it's so there's so many things that's just now yeah they used to collect them because the articles were good or you could look for the the bunny logo on the cover. So every issue, like, oh, I got the issue to find where the rabbit is or the articles. Our producer watches porn for the artistic aspect. No. I like the story.

That's like reading Playboy for the articles, right? No, but I think it was different than other magazines, maybe like Penthouse, stuff like that, because it was built on cool articles with the women, right? Wasn't that how it started? Obviously, it was about a lot of the imagery too, but there was an aspect of a lot of guys aspired to be like, oh, I could be a playboy if I read this thing, right? Isn't that what it was? Yeah, there's a lot of things with that.

So yeah, I guess it was tasteful. Other publications that would catch like celebrities, Topless or something, would post and Playboy wouldn't necessarily do that. They also, yeah, there was a lifestyle. So Hef, I think it's based on the kind of older films where they had like the smoking jackets with the lapels. And it was like a lifestyle and he became like mr playboy himself and i think products came out and yeah people to be cool and

sophisticated it was like a part of it so how does one go from san diego state to the playboy mansion like what is the in betweenbetween? So weird, right? Well, I mean, yes and no. Like, it's not so far from L.A. You're beautiful. You're blonde. Like, you check all these beautiful boxes. I know that he was very particular.

So I'm not, like, I just want to know, like, how do you even get to the mansion? Well, I was studying psychology, and I thought that I have enough of my own problems I don't know if I can be a psychologist or have like a nine to five thing and on the side I started modeling I started doing cheesy stuff like $25 an hour handing out keychains at bars you know like bud light girl or whatever but 25 an hour was you know decent then and then i'd get like comic-con so you guys are familiar with all the stuff because i used to live right on front street you know where richard walker's pancake house is you know those two

little buildings that look like two little green twins yeah i used to live in that like that was like right when i got out of school i came. And we used to run around downtown all the time. Okay. Back in the day. Yeah, like Seaport Village. Exactly. Very cool. Yeah. And Comic-Con was huge down there. It was like they shut down the street down there.

So when you're at Comic-Con, does someone approach you about Playboy? No. So it was just kind of my experience in modeling. I would dress up as G.I. Jane. I was like, $650 for the day. Yes. And this is cool. And I met a few girls through doing that stuff. And one of them asked me if I wanted to submit my photo

to go to a party at the Playboy Mansion. And that's how it started. It's so interesting, though, because he, to me, seemed like he was so detail-oriented. So for you to send your picture in to get to be married to him, like that's a, there's a whole lot of story in between there. Yes. So when you submit your photo, was he the one that was looking at it? Or was it Mary, the girl we saw on Girls Next Door? Like who is looking at these photos saying yes or no?

There's like a whole office of people that are just dedicated at that point just dedicated to finding girls for parties there's rolodex of of girls they would just go through so what happened was on the back end they all go through these submissions. And based on what they think Hef likes, which is crazy, they pick these girls. And I didn't think I'd ever get picked, honestly. But I did get picked.

And once the girls go up there, they take a Polaroid of you, like the parking garage, basically. And those are the photos that Hef sees once you've already come to the party. This is just to get into the party? Just to get into the party. So you have access to the party?

You have to submit your photos, you have to get approved, and then you have to go up to where these shuttles take you to the house. And in the garage, they take a Polaroid of you. And then I learned all those go to Hef.

So you still go to the party. But then after that, you're getting raided by Hef. It's like A, B, C, D. And you've already been raided. No, but I didn't know about this. No, but I'm saying you've already been raided to get into the party. And then you get another raiding. Hef gets the Polaroids.

Then Hef is taking the Polaroids and rating them. Is that correct? Yes. But I'm saying even to get the Polaroid, you have to first be rated by the other group. Yes. Oh yeah. It's like a double betting process. Yeah. So after the party, Hef has all these Polaroids of like a fresh batch of women and he rates them A, B, C, D. So those all go into the Rolodex. They're like little drawers that pull out in these offices with all the Polaroids of the girls. And for things in the future, like Fun in the Sun or other parties that they have at the mansion, they will pull out the A drawer first. And all those girls will get invited, have rated a and then they'll go to the b's and

then depending on who can come or can't come then they'll go to the c's and the d's and let me ask you this that's how it worked the the draw or the appeal for you at that time we're like i'm just going to casually submit if i get invited great or is it like i get it i get it when i was when i was that age in college like you're like you're. Like, I mean, I would have loved to go play my mansion. I get it, but I'm saying is like, is this something you're aware of or you don't know about this process at the time? Is it like, is there like competition to do this or you just, you don't even know this process is taking place?

I had no idea. Okay. I had no idea. Yeah. When I, later on, when I met the group that did the rating system, I asked, you know, how did those first photos? And they had me as a 10.'s like wow yeah so you were an a obviously yeah so Hugh picks you as an a yeah so I go to the party that's where I meet Hef I meet him at the party this is before the Polaroid

or like I didn't realize I was an a on the Polaroid until I stayed for the weekend. He has a little box that the picture is in of the girls who are staying there in case he forgets what we look like. And that's when I saw my A. You got really built a life. I know. It's so weird. It's cult. It's cult.

It is. It's cult. It is. Yeah. I'm sorry i'm cold yeah it is it's a modern day cult it is it's from what i've perceived i've read the books i've listened to the podcast this is my own opinion he created to me like a harem of competition and he would use his soldiers of women against each other to create chaos and he would step back as the hero like i feel like he read like a hundred books on power there's like there's it's so deep i feel like people just think like oh it's a guy that like it's with young women there's so much more to the manipulation like looking back you must feel like that I think looking back I realized

this was a time before it's a time before you could just be an Instagram model it was before you had leverage so many things you couldn't create a podcast you couldn't do other things you couldn't there's gatekeepers yeah gate't do other things. You couldn't. There's gatekeepers. Yeah. Gatekeepers. Yeah. You know, it's funny.

Like I always say this on this show. There's a lot of young listeners. Then there's also listeners that are our age and older. And I feel like we are the cusp generation that grew up without all of these things, but then got them like right around our twenties. Right. That's when they'd all kind of like, but there was like this whole life before that where none of these things existed to your point. Like you couldn't, you didn't have any of your own leverage, right? You had to get basically permission from people in power to be seen on

certain platforms. Yeah. I completely agree with that. Cause I, there was this woman when Instagram was getting big and models were getting big on their own, she said to me, this is so cool. Now women can have the power without like a rich old white man making the decisions. And then she's like, oh, sorry. And that was me. You know, when I saw the Playboy magazines and knew of that, it's like this whole life that it's like power and fame and fortune and all these like you know i could i could be somebody yeah because now women are able to do women and men are able to do it without having to get on a publication like a playboy or whatever because you can just do it from your phone not

that it's easy but you know you can do it without somebody in between you just immediately like if you have the talent or the reach or whatever, you can get seen. Yeah, absolutely. We didn't need a radio company to start this show or some network. We literally just started doing it out of our living room. Yeah, it's amazing. What do you think made you so sparkly to Hef? I mean, you're beautiful, yes.

But as you said, there's all these beautiful women. He has his pick. There's something about you that he was, there was a magnet. So what was that? Honestly, I think there's a photo of this in the book. But I'm just standing at the ropes. And I'm this blonde girl with these big big old implants that I'd got at this that just before then I think that was the factor of like come on in literally it based on appearance purely

I think until we started talking I was shy and we started talking about college you know I hear that he likes when a girl says they're in college. Because I'm like, he said, oh, what do you do? And I'm like, oh, no, I don't have a job. What do I say? Modeling, but not like a real job. I felt just not worthy to be in his presence. I'm like, oh, I'm finishing up at San Diego State.

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off your first box when you go to wildgrain.com slash skinny. That's wildgrain.com slash skinny or use our promo code skinny at checkout. Looking back, being 37 years old, you've had a lot of life experience you're an entrepreneur you're doing your own thing you're writing your own book like if you're if you're giving you advice at that age do you think that his energy was predator or do you think that it was just like this is the playboy mansion and this is what he does like when you look back on that with all the wisdom that you have now what's your take i think that so many people fed his ego and he had so many yes people around that to him it was all normal like hey we're gonna be here and we're gonna do all the things that i want to do but it's what everyone wants he assumes like it's i want that everyone wants that.

It wasn't even just the people around him, though. It was the whole culture, too. They had the television show. They would do all those events in Vegas. I think a lot of people that are maybe younger listening, this could not happen now. This would be shut down in two seconds. If I was rating people with cards,

I'd be like, this guy's got to go. He's not going to last. But it's just a different time. And I think, to it wasn't i don't think it was just his internal people but it was like the whole culture all of society was thumbs upping this and saying okay this is like this is fine absolutely and you had your big celebrities sure going to the parties fine you know you had there's a picture of arnold schwarzenegger like flexing with a girl on like each arm you know i was told you know arnold coming there all the time was a bit before my time but i was told that arnold would show up and they would go around like oh who wants to sleep with arnold and someone would be like well i will you know it's crazy crazy to me now that i

look at it from an outside perspective as a mother he seems like a gnarly narcissist like what i think one i would say one of the biggest narcissists i've ever seen in in my time yeah a very charming narcissist yeah which is the most dangerous yeah they're all charming right uh-huh i wonder i would, I would love to read his real autobiography because I bet there's so much that happened to him to get to the point to be so narcissistic. Did he never write anything? I don't think I've read an autobiography by him.

I think everything written for him and about him was very favorable to him. Yeah, but not real. No, I would ask him all the time questions about his childhood and how he grew up. And I understand from the things he's told me. Like you could understand how he could get to where he was. Absolutely. That's very, very mature and empathetic of you. Thank you. Yeah. That's evolved. So when you're in this house with all of these people and there's all these,

like how much time do you guys actually get to spend together? Just you and him, or is it there's always people around? There was always people around, which was hard for me being kind of introverted. It's not just like you and him at night going to bed in the house. Yeah, yeah. It would be. After we were married in 2012. Is that when we got married?

Yeah. 2012 at the end. Yeah, it would be just us. After movie night, of course, we'd go up and it would be just us. Wait, tell us about movie night. There was specific nights for specific things. that actually like really that serious yeah in the book i say it was a cruise ship itinerary which absolutely it was what do you mean monday's manly night with the guys tuesday's dominoes wednesday's card night thursday's movie night friday's old movie

saturday's old movie sunday's new movie from the theater do you ever get to pick the movie i did on thursday and i would pick movies that like no one would like like the little mermaid again just piss off all his friends because i'm just like why are these people here all the time it's like they're a country club for them i guess so how do you so maybe we skipped over this but how do you get to the point okay so you're there and you're getting invited to the party and then he's showing interest and then at some point he decides like that he wants you to be his wife and he's going to propose right and at that point with you in the age gap like what there had to be obviously some kind of appeal and charm and a reason that you wanted to marry half obviously

outside of just him being half like did you guys actually fall in love or is this like how does that all work because he was powerful and because even though it was kind of a twisted situation like i did feel safe what do you mean by why do you think it was twisted just because the because of who he was in the age gap or i mean getting into it like twisted because he's 60 years older because it's all about him my feelings don't really matter because sex was a group activity i mean there's like a lot of twisted meaning like you have to have the other women involved yeah other people were involved every time yeah on it like it got to the it got to the point where i would ask somebody specific to like oh can you come up because i didn't want to do it by myself oh okay so i guess but that's what i'm asking you i actually have a question is it because you don't want to do it by yourself

because you're like this old penis with balls to the knees? Like I can't suck this flaccid limp dick or are you like do you want someone to come up because like you want to like be able to offset because you're like I'd way rather hook up with a girl than him or just because you're just like you like what was the reasons? I think it was because I felt like oh like what am I like supposed I, like, supposed to be just, like, the show by myself? Like, this is awkward. So you couldn't diffuse it? Yeah, I guess. Pressure? But my question is, is when you look back, were you actually, like, wanting to be with him, like, as a boyfriend?

Or did you, like, look to him more as, like, a friend? And, like, then when you had to have sex, you're like, oh, let's diffuse this situation. Yeah, this sex part was not enjoyable at all so ever no it's so weird though because i feel like he there he's got to be like kind of good at sex to have all these women around him no no no well that's that's disappointing come on oh see that's the narcissism though that's the narcissism because he think he probably thought he was king of the castle, King Kong at sex. And he's not even good at sex. Well, because everyone's telling him that he is.

So everyone's telling him everything he wants to hear. So wouldn't that mess? I mean, that would mess with me. Well, of course, if you're just like sitting there and everyone around you saying how great you are. You're like, I believe this. And then. Are you questioning the sex we had this morning? Are you like, does Lauren really like the sex? You'll never never know if i had a friend to diffuse the sex sometimes that might

help me out i'm sometimes tired okay let's talk about it it's kind of nice it's like oh but i guess when you're so when you're there and you have this access and you just saw like what is the end reason why you decided okay i'm gonna marry this person like if you if and again if the sex wasn't good and if i don't know if the love connection was there like and what's what kind of like headspace were you and we said okay i'm going to do this it sounds like he provided some time with security yeah i felt safe there i felt like it was somewhere i belonged i felt really like wanted at that point, I felt needed. I felt sorry for him. Yeah. He was getting older.

It wasn't like an actual proposal where he got down on his knee and asked me. He just kind of gave me a ring. Like, I guess we're doing this. I'm here and let's do it. it it you know maybe part of his pr thing is he wants the chapter to be wrapped up just gets married the end you know it was the final chapters of his life was there anything that you liked about being around him like you look back fondly on i feel like he taught me taught me a lot he was very smart he had a a high IQ. Yeah. He was always like writing notes and has like little quirks and things that I remember and some habits that I've picked up.

So, yeah. He loves scrapbooking, huh? Yes. Did he make you scrapbook or did he scrapbook himself? So, he has 3 000 scrapbooks we have them stored in a vault and he would go up every week and he had a few employees that worked up in the scrapbooks scrapbook room only job is scrapbooking for only job wow there was like scrapbook department video department there's a lot of departments but he they would kind of lay it out for him and he would do all

the captions and as a way to kind of connect with him i asked him you know do you want me to come up with you and i'll take some photos of the stuff from the scrapbooks and we'll post it on instagram and so we would do that hashtag scrapbook saturday post some photos but those have all been taken down now since everything me too and you know down to the little details of you know be like playing backgammon and then like a few people in there we don't really know the names so i don't want to like have women in there where they're just nameless you know that's know, I don't think that's fair. So we just took it all down.

When you're doing all of this, is the show Girls Next Door, like what's the timeline? Has it already been on? Like when you were coming in, are you getting a vibe from the girls who are already there? What's the crossover of that okay so the show was in 2009 it was early on when I was there that what we were talking about now it's like after like the wedding it's like 2012 so 2009 we were told that we would be filming the girls next door so basically it was swapping out Holly Bridget and Kendra and then it would be filming The Girls Next Door. So basically it was swapping out Holly, Bridget, and Kendra, and then it would be me and the twins that were there, Christina and Carissa.

And I don't know how I felt about it. I talk about it in the book where it was kind of dictated to me what I would do and how I would behave. It wasn't a fun experience. I don't think Holly, Bridget, and Kendra were happy that they were replaced. It would have been cool for the show to follow them in their new lives, but yeah, I didn't go past season six. And when you came into the mansion with the twins, were those three girls living there or had they already transitioned out i remember holly's shoes were under the sink in the master bedroom i think they were still transitioning out and what was that like awkward i felt insecure at the time because they had been you know on tv all this time and obviously know the mansion inside and out and i i'm insecure i'm you know

young and just kind of you know feel like an idiot or like i'm in their turf but you know over the years that changed is it a nice environment in there with the other women or is it a catty environment where people are like competing to get attention or or do people get along it seems like i mean i think the reason I'm interested, this seems like such a strange environment to live in every day. It's like a, like a Alice in Wonderland or something. And you're worried because there's older women,

not to say older, but older than you women that are going out and then you're coming in. And I'm sure there's other women trying to come in. It's like this whole, like it's a game. It's so interesting that you say that you were insecure because here you are picked as a 10 or an a on the polar right you say you know you have these big boobs this blonde hair and he's so attracted to you but yet you're saying you're insecure which is so crazy most of the you know beautiful women i've met are insecure

why the best looking people are the most insecure why is that I've noticed that too why I'm not sure I mean I would see women come up and you know everyone's in bikinis and things and have the most perfect bodies that I you know would kill to have and they would go and get butt injections implants food nose, everything. I think it's because for men and women that are blessed with those kind of looks is a lot of the times other qualities whether it's your intellect or sense of humor or you know something that has to do with something other things than the way you look get overlooked right and so you're just validated for the way you look and over time that becomes people's

identity there's probably a lot of people that are listening oh like boohoo for the good-looking people but yeah in a way it's like you have all these people that instead of judging you on anything else it's just like oh there's the pretty person or there's the handsome person or whatever and it kind of it starts to form your identity and so you start to think okay if that goes away then do i have any value yeah i completely and also pressure pressure to stay that way so i think that's why they might do these procedures i mean i think when you when there's been such an emphasis on your looks for so for so long and the looks go that's got to be a mind fuck it's been a real challenge for me in my life

someone did tell me when i was bartending i told you this i was 21 years old i'm bartending right over your head lauren no it didn't it didn't go over my head we get it i'm bartending and like bending over the bar and like showing some tit and like you know flirting with guys and my friend goes you better find something other than your looks to lead with because they're gonna go and i was like whoa they do go and fast they do go and you know what I think that's a very good lesson everyone should find something more than their looks because it does go and and if you're basing your entire existence off that that's a really hard pill to swallow it's really really hard yeah the last handful of years with my therapist you know I'm

only doing stuff that doesn't involve looks so because I had like the Instagram TNA thing that's how my Instagram started and that's how I got to so many followers it's and then I'm like okay now it's just going to be the real me who I am like I don't even like that stuff I didn't even like those photos when I took them editing now it's just going to be the real me who I am like I don't even like that stuff I didn't even like those photos when I took them editing them it's like I was contributing to the toxic culture and so now it's it's changed I don't you can't even find a bathing suit picture of me on there and all the things I am doing now are not related to my looks it's probably challenging I have two younger

sisters and you know i understand putting up the certain kinds of photos that are going to get attention on instagram i get it i get it but i will say that it's like you can't it's difficult to position because sometimes then people will get upset about only getting attention for that kind of thing and then they'll try to change i'm like it's this weird dichotomy where you get a ton of attention for doing that but then you start to be like well this is not really that kind of thing. And then they'll try to change. I'm like, it's this weird dichotomy where you get a ton of attention for doing that, but then you start to be like, well, this is not really the kind of attention I want. And it's, but I think it puts specifically women in a very difficult position because you're getting validated for something that is good for an initial boost, but you may not want

in the long run. And then it's hard to transition out of that and move into other fields. Yeah. I completely agree. People sometimes get upset from me saying stuff like that, but it's, it's true. It's like the stuff that gets you the initial tension is maybe something that you wouldn't want attention for later.

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off your first purchase of a website or domain using code skinny. Were you with Hef when he passed away or did you guys separate before that what was the timeline on that i was there for a decade so i was there wow that's a long time it's interesting because people people don't realize that because just because we weren't super public only in the first few years. Yeah, I was there for a decade. Was that 2010 to like 20? When did he pass? I was there 2008 to 2018.

If he was still alive today, do you think you would still be with him? He'd be 97. I don't know. You can't look back and answer that, I guess. I don't know. I know when I was there, I would think like, oh, okay, like when I'm this age, I'll be this age. How long did it take you to step outside and observe everything you went through? Was that something that was happening as he was dying? Or did it take time for you to step outside of the picture to see the full landscape. It took a while being away to really understand.

It took me trying to navigate dating, new relationships where I'm like, okay, this way that I'm behaving is really not normal. And it's like the things I've learned have rewarded me for being codependent. He rewarded me for just being with him all the time rewarded how just i guess like a puppy like praise and you're the best and all the things and a lot of verbal validation yeah i'm like oh i'm doing something right like how awkward but learning that okay you know they have their thing they do. I have my thing I

do. And then we come together and it's healthy. The relationship stuff has been hard. Yeah. I've been in therapy for five years. When you transitioned and have passed and you decided that you didn't want to share the things you were sharing on Instagram what did that look like was that like a strategic thing or did it happen naturally it wasn't who I was and I didn't feel good with any of that stuff I never did I hated all of it I hated all the stupid outfits for the parties I hated heels I hated being in bathing suits or people commenting gross stuff on my pictures like why why am i putting my body on display like i don't need to do that for what if you reflected back and thought why like why put yourself through all that if you hated i think to be thinking to be accepted that's what f wants that's what society wants that's what's expected of me i guess

but now i'm like you know dressed like a grandma no offense to grandmas but grandma's out there pissed when i decided i wanted to do an explant you're one of the people that i went to their page and you've been really open about your journey. I would love for you to talk about that, why you decided to do that, what symptoms you were experiencing, and if you feel better now. Thank you. I think helping people through what I went through with the explant has been like one of the best things ever. So I appreciate you mentioning it, bringing bringing it up when I was at the mansion Hef was older at this this time I noticed there was like mold at the mansion and I got diagnosed

with Lyme disease and I just every symptom just not feeling well all the time. And then somebody had commented on my page about breast implant illness. And at the time, I had no idea what that meant. And so I did what research I could. There was a Facebook group. This woman named Nicole, she had a Facebook group. And at the time, it was kind of gaining momentum of people that were sick. And there was a website, healingbreastimplantillness.com. It's still around if anyone wants to go to that.

My symptoms matched with pretty much everything on the site. And I just got worse and worse and worse. What symptoms? Everything. Brain fog. I knew I had the words, but I just couldn't. I couldn't grab them from my brain. My whole body was burning and on fire.

I was tired. I was just canceling stuff left and right. I'm like, why am I so lazy? Fibromyalgia, everything's just hurting. I would like to hear what you went through. I would get different types of rashes and weird things happening to me. And at the time, there were two doctors who did explants, both women.

And one was in Ohio. I think the other one was in Florida. And I'd heard that Yolanda Hadid had just gotten hers taken out. And so I scheduled with the same woman that took hers out. Dr Feng Dr. Feng yeah Lu Jing Feng she's in Pepper Pike Ohio yeah she is incredible she does what's called a like a total capsulectomy or an m-block she has like open heart surgery tools she's like in there scraping the shell off of my ribs. Implants are gross. You know, there's so many chemicals in them that are not natural at all. Like if it doesn't come from the earth or if it's like, you know, why are we putting it in our body?

I don't know. And it's sad. And I know people who are sick that still have their implants and they're like, I can't take them out. I can't. You have them and you have these big boobs and then they almost become sort of like an identity. They do become an identity. But I think part of removing them was me kind of like, I don't, that's not me. I don't want to carry around these like heavy boobs it sucked you know like so heavy how many cc's did you have i had 400 cc's they were very big i think around there like 400 or 425 something like so you had big ones like i had

the big boobs yeah i never had to say the doctor just put him in and what do you mean you never had to say like you did did you did you get these before you went to the yeah i did i did but you just made the judgment call like what size okay it was big but i remember looking at the photos in the back in the day i'm like i look like a sex doll from china like it's yeah it's embarrassing almost like a like props they were like it was like props for me it was almost like I could hide behind my insecurity and I think women like kind of use it as a shield.

That's interesting. Like sometimes how people put their hair in front of their face instead of like pull it out. It's kind of like a shield like that. That makes sense. To be avoid being like vulnerable or yourself

or you have this like, you know, I have this. It's interesting. But when I came out of surgery my lungs felt twice the size like whoa I can breathe my pain in my neck instantly went away I'm like wow this is just it's the first time I had surgery where you know you wake up better instead of, and I was happy. And after then, it's like, I do not give a shit. I'm like, if anyone like me the way I am, and if you don't, then bye. That's just how I feel

now. And you opened up about your fat transfer experience. And can you talk about why you did that, what your experience was, and then you said after that you did that what your experience was and then you said after that you were done and from what i read on your instagram yes things are still like scars and didn't go so well but i don't care anymore to be honest i'm not i think the scars are kind of cool i'm not just saying that i think it's just kind of unique scars show what you've been through well Well, and also you mentioned all those symptoms. She had a lot of similar stuff and for the longest time

we both, we'd known each other so long. I was like, what the hell is going on here? We couldn't figure it out. When I picked her up from the surgery, I thought she was going to be all out of it and all upset and she was so happy and all those things. She's like, well, that was the first thing you said. I can breathe. Wow. It's crazy. It's crazy how you can breathe. Wow. Yeah. It's crazy.

It's crazy how you can breathe. And she was like happy. And I thought she was going to go home and be down and she, she just, all this energy. Yeah. It almost feels like relief. Yeah,

it does. It does. Well, it's, it's like, imagine having a weight hanging off your dick for, no, for 18 years,

a weight's hanging off your dick and then they remove the weight well it's a it's a crazy concept i think a lot of you know people listen that's like for me it always when she went so she had two right or you went the i had two boob jobs with the first she got a redone and the second time was so big big big big and i could i remember just thinking like how are you gonna like what's your posture gonna be like because there's no way you can have you know you're constantly getting pulled forward from the top yeah did you just wanted it to be redone i i had them when i was 18 and then i got i had them redone because it was like 10 years later and i had great doctors and it was a really great experience i just noticed things like i was

sensitive to light really sensitive like when someone turned on the light I was like why the fuck do you I was like pissed I'll just like turn the light on in the morning to wake up and or sensitive to smell yeah that one's still going away for me rashes rashes just like things that I was like but I started to it also this is so weird I've never said this on air but it like there's something about it that is off it lowers your frequency yeah i feel like i'm like vibrating i know that's like very like woo but i feel like i'm vibrating at a different frequency without having something on my heart and my chest but it was also weird like to hug my kids without having something blocking that. It's very weird.

The problem is it's such a weird experience to get them out. There's not a lot of people to talk to about it. You know what? I may be ignorant to this, but what I found strange is she kept telling me you have to redo this every 10 years. I'm like, okay, if you have another 50 years, you could do this five more times than have all these surgeries. That's not going to be good, right? Not to freak anybody out that hasn't but like is that you

have to get them done no i think anyone who has them like and you love them great have them i'm not here to like be like oh my god i just i'm just talking about my own thing but it's not like changing a veneer or something every 10 or 20 years it's like you have to rip your body open every you know time you do it yeah i definitely thought like i don't want to keep doing that and yeah i mean i have friends that are sick i hope that they eventually get theirs out i've also noticed there's i've gone like kind of far into this but there's the brand allergan and then the brand mentor i have noticed that my friends with mentor are kind of better off than my Allergan friends. Huh. I had Allergan. Huh. I don't know what I had. I have to look into that. It's interesting.

Yeah. I'll have to look into it. Well, the doctor showed me too, when you were out or when you're under, he showed me a video that he filmed of the capsule when they take everything out and what it looks like. To your point, it was not appealing. Didn't you hard no it was not a oh like the hamburger thing around the implant just like all that but then like he said there's like this film that can come and leak out into it he was like showing me yeah it's your body like that hamburger thing that they cut off it's your body like projecting it it's your body forming scar tissue and just like trying to protect itself against this foreign body to wall it out of the rest of your system. Yeah. You did not like the fat transfer.

Why? Well, after I had the explant, I thought, I don't know. She said, oh, I like the tissue to be healthy, and then you can come back for a fat transfer if you want to. After six months. And it was two years later and I just thought oh maybe like I should put something there you know just so I went and got a fat transfer and it was a terrible experience why it. And I lost like half the blood in my body and had to go to the ER and get a blood transfusion. Getting fat taken from like everywhere in your body, just recovering from that is so painful. Why did you have to get a blood transfusion?

So in order to get the fat, the doctor fills you with a lot of fluid. So you look like kind of big and swollen and so that they can they can get the fat easier so you have all these little holes all around your body and after the doctor this particular doctor left the holes open so that the fluids could drain out and so that whatever could could drain i guess the fluids could drain out but then blood's also draining out so that all what happened and then my period was like the same weekend so i just bled out and ended up needing a blood transfusion so i definitely do not recommend the fat transfer but it's definitely better than putting in the implants, I think.

And after that experience, are you like, after that, are you just, you said on your Instagram, you're like, I'm done. Like, this is me. Completely done. Completely done. And anyone that you don't want to be in a relationship, if they don't like you the way you are then it's not your person how has dating after all of this you mentioned like early on but how has it been later on now that you've had all these revelations you're in therapy like you're doing your own thing you have your own book how is dating now like today it's better now as you know recently it's better but I think having to

kind of start that process at 31 I think it was was hard so I had to go through you know bad relationships and red flags and you know seeing them as green flags or giving people a year when they deserved like a month of my time there I just saw this thing on on Instagram and it was so good the guy's, why are you waiting a year or two years when you see red flags in two weeks? Yes. If you see the red flags in two weeks, get the fuck out of the relationship then and there. Why are you giving it another two years? Nip the red flags in the bud right away as opposed to wasting one to two to three years of your life. This can be a TikTok clip and everyone's going to be mad in because you know people in the red flag relationships are gonna be triggered

i hope they get out of the red flag relationships i mean i like i'm so now i'll like facetime people because i'm like i don't want to even waste my time like you'll get their energy before you go on a date that's a good tip that's a good tip that's a good tip facetime in the beginning were there guys there that were maybe there for the wrong reasons? Not even just because of who you were, but because of who you had been with? Are there guys like opportunistic guys or just weird guys that are coming around because... I think I've been doing a good job of weeding those kind of people out. Good for you.

Where are you at right now with how you want like the next five years to go? Who are you now? Like separate from the Playboy Mansion, separate from everything you've been through, being married for 10, I mean, with him for 10 years. Where are you now? Like what's the future for Crystal now? I think now, you know, I'm on a good trajectory.

I'm just doing me. I'm single and happy. And yeah, I bought some properties over in Hawaii so I've been kind of just going back and forth yeah when I was at the mansion and making some money there I started investing in houses and found you know a real love for real estate and so I'm developing and flipping houses. And it's a lot of fun. I add a lot of natural elements into the homes. Just grounding.

Natural vibes. You're like, no silicone is in this house, bitch. I know. And I won't even use a toothpaste that has fluoride. I'm on the same vibration. Especially after you get them out, you're like, get all this shit away from me. Yeah. Just don't want it anymore in your book what can people find that they will be shocked by like give us a little a little preview and then where they can find your book I think they'll be

surprised at what was the hardest for me to write and those are all the scenes that involve sex or death. I'm really excited to read your book. Everyone can find it on Amazon. Yeah. Yeah. It's everywhere. And I have a website, onlysaygoodthings.com. All the links are there. Only Say Good Things. I'm going to think that Hugh Hefner used to tell you to only say good things. I'm going to think that Hugh Hefner used to tell you to only say good things. Yes. So he put me on his foundation as the vice president. Now I'm the president.

That's an interesting gig. Yes. I'm still on his foundation. And he told me that when he's gone, he wants me to only say good things about him. And I said I would. And so is the book only good things? No.

I broke my promise. I think you talked about his balls, Lauren, as old balls. I said it. She didn't say it. I didn't say anything about his balls. That was Lauren's fault. I mean. When I go, Lauren, I want you to say, no matter how old I am, that my balls were always young.

Let me tell you something. Everything's fair. So, you know, maybe I might sag one way or the other, but you're going to sag too. Listen, handshake. I will say that they were always firm and perky for the end of your days. Your balls. No, no. I'm talking about you.

Oh, okay. I'm saying we're making the agreement that like we're going to hold that. So if anyone digs me up, they're like, listen, you don't have to look at that guy. He was always... That's a great name for a book though. Only Say Good Things.

I could actually, I feel like, I mean, I didn't know him, but I could see him saying that. Yeah, since then, I think it's important to tell the story from someone else's perspective. I think Kef has controlled the narrative for so many years.

And I think it's time for people to know more stories of other people. Well, think about how much juice that guy had on everybody. Because you had all these people going over there and all these different positions of whatever they're in, power, whatever. And they're all partying. I mean, he probably, I mean, that guy, he had the information. He definitely did. I do think one thing that's so interesting about him though is you can tell he was so concerned about how the public viewed him

and he was so obsessed with what you just said, controlling the narrative. So it doesn't surprise me that he said only say good things. It's like he couldn't fathom that there was anything but good things. Like he almost he couldn't fathom that there was anything but good things. He almost couldn't take it. His ego couldn't take it. Correct. Crystal, I think you're amazing to come on here and share your story. Where can everyone find you and follow you and see what you're up to and look at your new evolution on Instagram and buy your book.

Onlysaygoodthings.com for the book. Crystal Hefner on Instagram and all social media until that last name changes back. You're waiting for the last name to change. It was actually like the huge machine of the mansion that changed it to Hefner. So I'm not quite sure how that process works, but. It's hard to get your Instagram handle changed. I do know that. I know. It's like all one thing. Those are like so many of my comments. Why don't you change your name back?

Maybe somebody on Instagram will listen to this. Leave me alone. Someone on Instagram reach out to Crystal. Crystal, thank you for coming on. Two things before you go. You can watch us now on YouTube. So you can go on YouTube, search The Skinny Confidential

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and we'll see you next time.