The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Dirty John's Terra Newell - The Real Dirty John Story, Terra Newell Speaks Out, & The Demise of Dirty John

Episode Date: December 28, 2018

#159: On this episode we sit down Terra Newell. Terra is the daughter of Debra Newell. Debra was married to John Meehan who is the antagonist in the Dirty John series by Wondery and Now a hit show on Bravo. Dirty John Meehan is an alleged con artist and sociopath responsible for the abuse and manipulation of women. Particularly the abuse and manipulation of Terra's mother, Debra Newell. Spoiler Alert* Terra plays a large part in the demise of John Meehan and this episode is a real life accounting of John's demise from Terra's point of view.   To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) Capri Blue offers high quality candles, premium home fragrance, and beauty care products. With universal approval from both men and women Capri Blue offers products for everyone. All of Capri Blue's products are made with clean, cruelty free vegan formula. For 20% your entire order at Capri Blue go to capri-blue.com/skinny. 

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to The Skinny Confidential, him and her.

Aha! Aha! Well, he grabbed me by the waist and he looked me in the eyes and said, do you remember me? And I'm like, oh yeah, I remember you. And so I try to just bolt away from him at first because I don't want to fight him because I'm 5'2". I don't think I'm going to win that battle.

So I just try to flee. And then he keeps trying to grab me. And then he keeps trying to put his hand over my mouth. I just bite him as hard as I can. I'm screaming. I'm being as loud as I can. My dog's with me. My dog's attacking his ankles and stuff.

Welcome back. Welcome back, everybody, to the Skinny Confidential Him and Her Show. That clip was from our guest of the show today, Tara Newell. Many of you will know her from the very popular series, both on podcasts and now on Bravo, Dirty John. She is one of the main characters of the show. And I don't want to ruin anything for anybody that's currently watching the series or listening to the series. So spoiler alert ahead, if you are waiting to kind of finish up that series, finish either listening to it or watching it, there's definitely a ton of spoilers in this podcast because we get into it with Tara. So before we go any further, if you are waiting to listen to those shows or watch those shows,

maybe stop right now and come back to this later. That being said, Tara came on this show and really gave a firsthand experience of what it was like actually living in the world of Dirty John and what it was like to actually have to end up and I don't know if I'm saying this the correct way, but end up actually dispatching him, killing him after he attacked her in a parking lot and tried to take her life. So this episode is really intense. And Lauren and I had an amazing time sitting down with Tara. I just want to say that I'm so amazed at her story. And it was so incredible for her to sit here and be so open and talk about it on a mic. I'm sure that that's probably intimidating to have to come on to a podcast and talk about everything that's happened.

And I feel like she's handled it with so much grace. And she's just a really, really cool girl, a fucking badass. Wait till you guys hear the story. And she talks about PTSD. She's launching a blog that has to do with PTSD. So I hope that this episode inspires anyone out there who is maybe going to take a self-defense class. Maybe if you're a woman, I feel like I am inspired to go sign up for karate. I don't know, maybe like boxing, babe. I don't know about you guys, but I have never seen anything cuter than Capri Blue's new pink petite jar candles. They are so on brand.

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Go to capri-blue.com slash skinny. That's capri-blue.com slash skinny. And again, that's 20% off. Stock up on those volcano candles and thank me later. For the few of you that have maybe been living under a rock and are not familiar with the Dirty John story. Dirty John tells the story of Deborah Newell, a wealthy Orange County woman who fell in love with a con artist named John Meehan. Their whole relationship is fascinating, disturbing, horrifying, and a million other dramatic adjectives that I can add. And this relationship ended up spiraling out of control, as you hear if you listen to the series, and getting very dangerous. And that's what we cover in this episode, really getting a firsthand experience from somebody that actually lived

and was very close to this story. So for those of you that want to check out the story, definitely check it out. It's a Wondery podcast. It's great called Dirty John. And they also now have the Bravo series. And for those of you that just want to hear Tara's story, listen to this episode because we get into it. We go deep as always and it gets intense. So enjoy this horrifying conversation with Tara Newell. Get ready to get a firsthand glimpse of what actually happened in the Dirty John story

from somebody that actually lived through it. This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her. We are in the studio once again with Tara Newell. Thank you for coming on the show. Really excited to do this. This is going to be a different type of interview than we typically do, but with everything going on in your life, around your life, this is exciting. And we were walking in this office of 50 women, and I told you that some of these women are more starstruck than if they ran into Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt,

they were freaking out chasing you down the hall. Chasing her down the hallway, you guys like literally asking for her autograph almost. I had to shoo them away. But anyways, thank you for coming on the show. Of course. I'm so happy to be here today. So how did this how did this connection happen? You guys were talking over social or? So my assistant, Emily, is obsessed with everything that's happening on Dirty John. And she sought you out and found you. And she's like, you guys have to interview this girl. She's incredible, like told me the whole entire story. And then I obviously got obsessed with it.

And so here you are, you're live, you're here. So first, let's get started. Why don't you tell us a little bit of background on your upbringing? And for those of those, imagine someone if they're unfamiliar with the story. So my upbringing is I grew up in Orange County, California. It's kind of a wealthier area, especially Newport Beach. My mom's been married a couple of times. And so I definitely had a different lifestyle with that she was a hard worker grew up working around her like interior design business and so she's always in it and just in the hustle and bustle she seems like a hustler yes she is how would you describe

or characterize your personality growing up? Just kind of like easygoing, going with the flow, loving animals. I was kind of a tomboy, but like not too much. I still like to wear dresses and got into makeup at like middle school and stuff. And you have one sister, right? I actually have one full sister and then two half sisters and one half brother. So I don't know where we start here with you because there's so much to talk about with everything going on in your life now around the Dirty John story. How has

how has your life changed? And then we'll kind of go back and go go throughout the story. But how is like, there's a lot going on with you now that the show the podcast went crazy. You're on you're going on shows getting ready to go on more. She's launching a blog. Yes. Launching a blog. So how would you describe everything that's going on right now? Because it's pretty crazy.

Really crazy. It's really surreal right now. I just never would have expected that this story would have been so huge. But it relates to a lot of people. And a lot of girls can say, oh, I kind of had a crazy boyfriend or I was married to someone crazy too. It's like, you never know the person who you are with. And then it just got so popular. And now people are reaching out to me. They're telling me their stories. And it's really great having a lot of people relate to me. And it is crazy, but I'm

very appreciative of all the people that have said such nice things and have shared their stories with me. Do you feel like it's more support than, and I won't say hate, but like, you know, the haters, you feel it's more supportive people? Oh yeah. A hundred percent. That's awesome. Yeah. There's like 90% support and then like 10% hate. So for those that are unfamiliar with the Dirty John story, we're gonna you probably we're recording this before we do an intro with you. But we'll go back and kind of recap that a little bit and say maybe there's some spoilers for anybody that's like listening to the show or watching the show. But to jump right into it. They say that early on, you had a bad feeling right away. Do you remember what that felt like? And why? Yeah, it was just a strange feeling. Like he was just not engaging. He didn't

want to be around me. It was like, my mom stated a lot of losers. And it kind of seemed like, oh, this guy is like another loser. Like, I wonder what his deal is. But didn't he present himself as like, I was like a winner. I. But didn't he present himself as like, I was like a winner. I mean, didn't he present himself as somebody that had something going on? So how did you kind of see through that? Well, he said he was an anesthesiologist. But then he would also tell me his elaborate stories about like, his cars getting stolen, how he went to Iraq, how he was in like Doctors Without Borders. And a lot of that wasn't making sense. So just like having the information that I have on the little knowledge that I have of like

the army and being a doctor and stuff, I just couldn't put it all together. When you say it wasn't making sense, do you mean that you could just tell he was lying or there was something that you saw that he was lying about that you knew was just a complete utter lie? There was loopholes in his stories. He would tell a story and then he would tell it a little bit differently the next time. So those were the initial first red flags or was there other things? Well, he just didn't really want to look me in the eye. And then like the first night I went out to dinner with him, I get back home and then I'm like, hey, John, can you let me out of the car?

There was like the child lock on the car and he didn't let me out of the car. And then instead, like I asked him again, too, and he didn't hear me. Apparently, he got out of the car and went upstairs and I was just locked in the car with like my friends in the back. And I was just like, this is so strange. Yeah. And it's crazy because with those child locks, you actually have to get outside of the car and flip a button.

You think you cannot get out of the car when they're on. It's crazy. Yeah. Why do you think he did that? I just don't know. I think he just didn't want to listen to me or deal with me, even though it's just opening the door for someone. Or maybe just show that he has control. He sounds like a control freak. You know, that sounds about right.

Yeah. So when things like this are happening and your mom's around, is your mom kind of brushing it under the rug? I mean, my dad has dated a lot of different women, and sometimes with the women he's dated, he'll just brush it under the rug instead of like addressing what's happening. Did it, did you feel like that was happening or was it more like your mom was starting to see signs as well? It was like probably two months into the relationship. So she was probably thinking like, Oh, it's just another guy that Tara doesn't like another guy that like my other daughters don't like either. So she was just kind of brushing it under the rug. I imagine that's frustrating for you because you're seeing red flags and you're frustrated with the person that she's with, but you're not receiving the support or the or the trust back in terms of her believing your story and saying, hey, there's something off here. Yeah, it was very frustrating.

But then I had to find a way to kind of like separate it and not be so upset with her because I needed to go on with my own life at the time. So when he's witnessing all this and he knows that you and your sisters don't like him. What is his reaction like? He's kind of just telling my mom like, oh, your daughters just want you for your money and stuff. They don't want to spend quality time with you. They're just jealous of you. He kind of just turned the tables around to everything that we were doing. It was just out of jealousy. So let's maybe fast forward a little bit if you can remember what this felt like. When did you start to feel like everything was kind of going downhill quickly with him? Well, I kept hoping for it to go downhill and then she would kind of see something that wasn't quite right and then have like a red flag about it herself.

Like what's an example of something where she was like, okay, wait a minute, this is kind of weird. He got a letter from jail from someone and then she was like, who's this letter from? And then he kind of turned around and like said that he was helping out the jail and stuff. He just made a story for it and it wasn't a true story. I have talked about this on Instagram stories many times because I found a babes on the budget find. Boot season. I have you covered. So basically I found this site. It's called justfab.com and I got the cutest boots and shoes off of it. You guys are going to love it. They also have clothing and accessories and everything is so affordable and very much on the pulse, I have to say.

So when you visit the site for the first time, you're given this style quiz. I went through and took it. And basically once you take it, JustFab personalizes your shopping experience to your favorite styles. So I took it. And of course, these boots, these major boots with a super high heel showed up. I wore them to the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show and then also white tennis shoes because you guys know I love white shoes more than life. Anyway, you can shop as a guest or become a JustFab VIP. I'm actually a VIP, don't mean to brag, and take it from me, being a VIP is by far the best way to shop because you can save 30% off retail prices and gain access to tons of other exclusive perks. They got so much going on there. You guys are going to love it. So if we're

getting specific, because we always are, the boot that I ended up getting was the Daisy. It's D-A-Z-I-E. And it's this super tall boot that really elongates the legs. It's black and it's tied and it's so New York. It's almost like you feel like you're wearing a Gossip Girl heel. You know what I mean? You can check out the boots I got and be sure to pick up some white tennis shoes if you go to justfab.com slash skinny now and sign up as a VIP. You'll get your first style for as low as $10, which is insane, you guys. That's justfab.com slash skinny to get your first style for as low as $10. Justfab.com slash skinny. I just feel like it's always time to step up your boot game. So I know we're kind of bouncing quickly through here, but I feel like the reason that is because

there's so many people that are familiar with the story, which we're going to get into, and familiar with the show now, we're kind of trying to read the in-between and get how you felt throughout the whole process. So as this thing kind of comes to a head, when did you start to realize that this guy could potentially be dangerous? I know you and your sisters kind of had those conversations. And we're a little bit worried about, you know, what the outcome could be with a guy like this. It was actually in the very beginning, like the day, no, it was was Thanksgiving he was texting my sister like stuff like saying you should jump off of the building headfirst would be great and just like telling her to kill herself and so I was like this guy wants us out of the picture there's something wrong with him like he wants us out

and then he was doing it from my mom's phone and pretending to be her. And I was like, that doesn't sound like my mom. That sounds like him. Like, I really think it's him saying this stuff to us right now. Oh, my God. What a psychopath. How did you find out that it was him and not your mom? Did you call your mom and say, what the fuck? Well, she wasn't answering when we would call her.

It would go straight to voicemail. But I found out that he was giving her sleeping pills at night to help her with the anxiety and stuff from my sister and I hating him. Well, because I imagine it was really divisive at the time, right? You're basically breaking up the family in a way. It's kind of forcing people to pick sides. Oh, yeah. In retrospect, now that you talk to your mom after all this, and I know we're going to walk through the whole story, but just in retrospect, does your mom sit down and say,

okay, wait, there were all these red flags and this is what they were. I just wasn't paying attention to them. She notices the red flags, but he did such a good job at like trying to control her and convince her that like, hey, this isn't right. What they're saying is not true. Let's go to this lawyer and he will tell you. So like there was other people besides him telling her what he wanted her to hear. So he was pitting your mom against her children, basically. How did he first approach your mother? On Our Time.

Okay. Is that a website? Yeah, it's like a dating website. No one go on Our Time. Oh, I'm sure Our Time is going to love that plug. Right. Taylor's like Googling it to sign up. All these like dating websites and stuff.

When you meet up with a guy, it's like at your own risk. And if you meet up with a girl too, at your own risk. This is a good segment and you're the perfect person to talk about this. And I didn't even think about going here, but when it comes to online dating, what would you tell women in order for them to be cautious? And maybe even men too. Well, definitely don't tell them where you live. Always tell them you have a roommate that lives with you. Even if you don't meet them in a public place, keep meeting them into you live. Always tell them you have a roommate that lives with you, even if you don't. Meet them in a public place. Keep meeting them into public places like a couple times.

Don't let them into your house. Don't let them know where you live until you trust them and you know more about these people than you did just two or three dates or even the first date. So public announcement to all Michael's friends, let's not try to take the girl home on the first date like you guys all try to do. Yeah, that's true. That's bleak. So I want to be delicate here as I go into this next question

and forgive me if this is not the right way to frame this, but we'll bring it to an end. And for those that have not finished listening to the show or seeing the show, maybe some spoilers here, you end up alone in a parking structure is this correct yes and he ends up approaching you after it was to my understanding it was a rental car that he bashed the lights out of he had a kidnap kit from what the police call like a knife duct tape cords and he ends up approaching you with a knife and basically trying to to stab you yeah but the

knife's in the del taco bag so no one knows he's like trying to stab you. Yeah, but the knife's in the Del Taco bag, so no one knows he's trying to stab me. Okay, so just really quick. So why were you guys in the same parking structure? Did he follow you? He was waiting for me. He stalked me for probably months. How do you know he stalked you? So the day before I got a phone call to my work, I was doing dog grooming at that time. And he made an appointment for his roadies and rich bags. And I'm like, where did I meet him and stuff? And I go hiking all the time in Newport. And he followed me on one of those trails.

And I guess he was like looking from up top. And he noticed that I met some roadies and rich bags. So like he called to make an appointment for that and then he would come to California like he was living in Vegas and he would come to California and he would leave the dog at the house for like a couple days and just come and stalk us all. So at this point, your mom wasn't with him? No. Why do you feel like he targeted you? Maybe I was an easier target. He thought that I'm nicer than my sister. And I'm just...

Who's more in your face, you or your sister? Oh, my sister is more in your face. She'll tell you like it is. She's a strong girl. But maybe he thought you were the problem because maybe he thought that you were the one that was making a difference with your mom. I have no idea if he thought that at all. I was kind of trying to manipulate my mom a little bit to be like, oh, I'll make up with him. Like, I'll get together with him and maybe see,

well, help her see that like, he's the problem and I'm not the problem. So you're in the parking lot, the Del Taco bag, he has a knife, and he all of a sudden he attacks you. What's the first thing that goes to your mind? Or how do you even how do you notice what's going on? Like, I'm imagining there's a ton of adrenaline going on. Well, he grabbed me by the waist and he looked me in the eyes and said, Do you remember me? And I'm like, Oh, yeah, I remember you.

And so I try to just bolt away from him at first because I don't want to fight him because I'm five two I'm not the skinniest little girl but like no if you saw you're a tiny blonde you have big boobs like me but she's a tiny blonde you guys well yeah I didn't want to fight him because I don't think I'm gonna win that battle so I just try to flee and then he keeps trying to grab me and then he keeps trying to put his hand over my mouth I just bite him as hard as I can I'm screaming I'm being as loud as I can my dog's with me my dog's attacking his ankles and stuff and my dog's like 30 pounds mini aussie so he's not that big is your dog like off the leash like what's happening um he was on the leash but i like just

dropped the leash and then he was just and no one was in the parking lot no no one was there but is it at night it was like at 5 25 p.m so the end result here is that you somehow turn it on him and you grab the knife and you end up killing him, which is incredible. And I want to know how true this is, because I know a lot of the press and the media is talking about The Walking Dead and they say you're a big fan. I'm a big fan of The Walking Dead. Love that show. I've seen every season.

I don't know how I'm still on board at this point because it feels like it's never ending. Kind of you feel the same way. Yeah. But how how much did that show actually impact like your fight or flight abilities i say a great amount to be honest because i would watch the walking dead religiously and i'm just like oh zombie like killed at the head and so like when he was on top of me and like falling on me, I was holding his head and like pushing him off of me because I was like, I don't want him to bite me. You're thinking like a zombie attack. Yeah.

And then the last two stab marks are to the eye and to the skull so that I could kill his brain. How did you know how to do that? And when you're like fight or flight, like that's so gnarly that you, your brain knew to just go to the eye and then go to the brain. Well, the eye has like the softest points. How do you guys know that? I don't know that. Well, that's what we're saying. I mean, that walking dead is proven to be good for multiple things, but I mean, who would have thought that it would lead to something like this? No, just like watching them and seeing how like they move. I feel like that just gets into your mind and it's just engraved in there. So imagine at the time there's a ton of adrenaline. It's

surreal. You can't understand fully what's going on. How are you able to recover after something like this? Like what's it been like, you know, being up trying to put this? I have a hundred more questions before you ask this question. I'm sorry. Wait. So hold on. Just as a woman, if someone attacked me, I wouldn't know to do the eye. So you said you went for the softest part and then you went for the head. Yes. So just, I don't know that this is like an actual question. I guess you could Google this, but how long does someone die? Is it instant? Does it take five minutes minutes is he on the ground like what's what's that like I don't know if like he died died on the scene because well I think he did because they revived him but he like I stopped him in the back I like overthrew and I stopped him

a couple times in the shoulder in the back and um at that point he was starting to like gasp probably punctured a lung yeah and so he started to fall on top of me i think he was still alive but then the last one and i made him like brain damage just completely immobilized him yeah so i don't know if he was like 100% dead when I like suited away from him. So when you got him off you and you got him away, did you run? Did you scream? Did people already come up? Like what, how did people know that they needed to get him out of here and help you? Well, I like tossed the knife as far as way as I can. Do you remember why? And just so he wouldn't get up and grab it.

Because you see all these horror movies where the people are dead, and then they get up and get... I need to watch more horror movies. Shit, I don't see these little details. Yeah. Well, I'm a huge movie buff, so I pay attention to every little detail.

So I'm like, okay, that and that and that scene. And so I'm like okay that and that in that scene and so I'm like toss the knife get away from the body start screaming for help and then this lady was walking her dog and she saw me and she's like what can I do and I saw that I had a stab wound on my arm and I just was bleeding and I was like okay I'm gonna put pressure on that I got that taken care of my dog's running around trying to eat the del taco that he had in the del taco bag so I might need help with him and so she just like grabs my dog and then she has the dogs together and then um more people start to come and then I'm just like, I'm hysterical, of course. And I'm just like screaming like, he tried to kill me.

That's my stepdad. He's crazy. Don't don't touch him. How did you know that the knife was in the Del Taco bag? You said that that was concealed. How did you know to grab a knife or did he take it out of the bag? Well, the knife was in the Del Taco bag. And then when he's on top of me,

it like came out. Thank God. And then I like did a kick and then to his forearm and then the knife like fell to my right hand side and I just picked it up and didn't give it a second thought. Damn, you need to start a self-defense school or some shit i mean seriously i would come in one second well thanks but i just uh i don't know any of the basics i was just oh i'll just you know common sense when you watch like the shows and then like it becomes instinctual yeah that's crazy okay so so after i'm assuming you get taken in an ambulance. Yes. And did you know that automatically he was dead? Like, did you know it was over? No, I kind of assumed he was dead because he wasn't like moving.

But then I see him get taken away on like a gurney and there's no like white sheet over him. So I'm like, okay, I guess they're going to go do stuff to him. Did you call your mother? Yeah, I called my mom and they actually have that recorded in like the dateline episode and the oxygen um that's special or whatever yeah the special that's coming up and they have that call recorded and i just like called my mom and i tell her i'm sorry i killed your husband are you calm no i'm like hysterical yeah what's her reaction to that she'd like believe you or she just um she's just like what like what's going on and i'm just like

i killed your husband i'm so sorry i knew this was gonna happen and because i had like dreams about this too like happening like me actually stabbing him and like not him dying but like me just stabbing him he sounds like he was like really really really horrible to you it sounds like it's almost sounds like it's a this is like an onion with how horrible because to have dreams that you're stabbing someone i mean he must have been like just an awful human have you have you been in therapy and the reason i ask is because when you talk it almost feels like you're able to talk about it from like an outside perspective like almost as if it wasn't that you weren't so involved and I imagine like this has been extremely difficult to get through how are you able to

kind of look back on this experience and talk about it the way you do like have you been able to talk to people about it or oh yeah well it's just like the more i talk about it with people it just becomes easier and easier there's only like a few questions like here and there like you asked a question earlier i can't recall exactly what it was about but it gave me a little bit of a flashback and you just have to like know that that's a part of life and to get therapy, get lots of help for that. But I've done a lot. And right now, it's my PTSD is never going to go away. But it's just learning every day how to manage it and control it. So I've had a couple of really traumatic things happen to me. I'm not saying comparing myself to you at all, but some things that have happened in my life where I feel like I have had PTSD and, um, you feel detached. Yeah. It's, if you don't feel it's, it's a weird feeling you and it's,

you get flashbacks a lot when you do, when you do a certain action, like maybe like you'll like, I remember when I used to back up outside of my house, I would get a flashback of something and certain things will trigger it. Sometimes it's not even just sitting and talking about it. It's actually like a movement or a smell or a sound. I actually relate to you how you're detached from it. Like it's almost easier than like crying or being emotional or angry that the detachment sort of helps. Yeah, because what we try to do here on the show, and there's probably not a lot of people that can relate to you with your story. But it's basically shedding light on

how people when they've, you know, overcome something traumatic, how they've been able to recover and move on with their life. I'm not saying that that's a easy process, but kind of navigating what that looks like, I think would help others. Yeah, well, it's never an easy process for anyone who's experienced any kind of trauma. But it's important to get to therapy right away, deal with it. I did EMDR, which is like a technique where you're, you're watching like the light light or you have these sensors, and it helps you rewire your brain to where you're not in flight or flight mode. That's been helpful. How exactly does that work?

Because someone told me that I should try that. When you're sitting with a therapist, what do they say to you? Well, at first you have to establish your safe spot and always have that as a going-to point when things get too hard to deal with. When you're going through the experience in your head, because you have to go through the experience and sometimes you'll go through it more than one time and you'll take it out in little sections. It's just very interesting. When you say like, when you say the experience, you have to keep going back to it, do you mean in your head? Or do you mean like actually being like, is it like cognitive therapy where you're presented with something that's very similar,

and you have to deal with it? You're talking about it. So you go through like the scene, the therapist, like ask you, like, how do you feel about this on a scale of one to 10? And then if you feel like a 10, you're like, okay, let's go back and let's see how you can feel less than a 10 and like feel better about what you went through. After everything you've been through, what is your relationship with your mom like? And I would love for you to walk us through what it was like right after what it was like sort of in the middle and what it's like now, because I'm sure the relationship has had ups and downs since all of this happened well now it's pretty good there is like a few things like I did resent her for a little bit because she did bring this guy into

our lives but you have to get over it and move on because like she's family and she could have not been here he could have killed her. So that kind of helps with that. And then I've got what I needed out of my mom. I just needed her to apologize for what like came into our lives. When it was happening, I didn't want to talk to her at all. But then there's a lot of stuff that happened where I'm like, I need my mom in my life right now, and I can't push her away. So she was brought back in a few months after. What about your sister? She's definitely had more ups and downs with her.

She's just... Angry? Yeah, angry. She's your older sister? Yeah. Yeah, so she's probably protective of you she is she just couldn't see how my mom couldn't see stuff because my sister um she's very smart like street smart and then my mom's not exactly street smart but she's like book smart so so there's things that

your sister could see but you're like your mom was almost blind in a way yeah. Yeah. So how do you kind of pick up the pieces and move forward? What do those steps look like in order to kind of get your life back on track, put this horrific time behind you and move forward? Well, it's important to get back into routine. And I tried doing that after I was attacked, but I worked with dogs. So hearing the dogs bark and stuff, it kind of triggered that. So can you not, you can't work with the dogs anymore? No. So I just have to find other outlets that interest me and that I want to do that make me

happy. So that's why I'm working on my blog and it's coming out January 3rd. So I'm just putting all my focus into that. What about your dog? Is that triggering to you? Sometimes when he barks, but I'm just trying to still work through that and just breathe through that and just be calm when he barks because like he's always going to bark because if someone knocks on the door, he's going to tell me. So not to because I don't want to just keep harping on this because it's traumatic. But so now with everything that's gone on the show, the podcast, and then now the Bravo show, what's the media response been like for you and your family?

People don't understand why my mom did what she did. And then it's probably like half and half, like they don't understand what she did. And then the other half sympathizes with her and they're like, I've been through something similar or I dated this guy. So a lot of relating to it, but then a lot of like they can't relate to what she's done. You know who this reminds me of? And I'm sure everyone tells you this. Who do you think I'm going to say? Vicky.

Yes. Does everyone tell you that? You know, good amount of people do, but then there is a lot of like people in my family and friends and stuff. They're like, well, Brooks didn't try to kill one of Vicky's daughters. It's almost like a flip of the coin, though. Like you could see something like that happening. I mean, just to give everyone context, we're talking about Vicky Gumbelson of OC oc and brooks who was her boyfriend on the show and on the show you watched it play out that he had cancer and it ended up that he was lying about cancer

and he lied for years on the show and pretended like he was doing chemo and all these these different things and it ended up that he was like a con man that was trying to take her for money yeah so i guess what my point is is like you could see though how it could just flip like something would just trigger him and like who knows what would happen you could see how people can be led astray in relationships depending on what they want to see in a partner and that could be applied not just for like full-on creeps like we're talking about here but it could be applied to just people in bad relationships where maybe you want to see something so bad in an individual that you can't see through the

through the bad stuff. Yeah, that's for sure. One of the most interesting things that you've said the whole entire conversation is that you had dreams that you were killing him. Like, I just I so crazy to me that you knew something really bad was going to happen. So if there's someone out there that maybe has an intuition or they're having dreams like you, what would you recommend? What do you wish you would have done? Do you wish you would have moved? What do you think you could have done in retrospect?

Honestly, everything played out how it was supposed to play out, in my opinion. And I'm a believer of God, so I just kind of believe that God gave me those dreams to help prepare me for what is to come. So I just kind of took it in that retrospect. Wow, that's crazy. I mean, that's really, really gnarly that you had dreams. Thank God you had dreams,

and thank God you watched The Walking Dead. Yeah, thank God for that. Speaking of shows, how do you feel about the new, like the podcast and two the bravosers do you feel like it's an accurate portrayal do you feel like it's inflated do you like the way they're portraying you and your family or no it's definitely like amplified with the maserati and stuff you're like i'll take one in pink i mean our family kind of does have one, but like, we're not like, oh, are you going to take the Maserati today? It's like, oh, I'd rather drive the Prius today.

So maybe they're portraying a little bit over the top for entertainment purposes. Did they interview you before they did both of the shows? Honestly, the producers love Richard Suckel. He was so great he took the time to like meet with us all get to know us he really wanted to like get understand the story yeah understand us all i didn't meet my character though until after oh you met her now yeah i met her after she played me but like when she was on set and then like i saw a scene of her like doing a phone call to my mom so it was interesting did it feel like that's how you were just it was i

personally think that our voices are a little bit different but i kind of get where she's going with this voice because it's like she's kind of trying to do the like OC girl kind of voice. So do you so in a nutshell, do you like the portrayal? Do you like the show? Or is it kind of like that's just like a strange version of what? Like, are you watching it every single week? You know what?

I have seen every single one. I don't really watch them every single week. But I try to just because I don't know. Well, you want to be supportive. It's about you want to watch. I'm sure there's lots of reasons. It's probably hard to watch. Yeah, it is really hard to watch. And it brings up a lot of stuff because like, a lot of the events that happened did happen. It's like, I don't, there's like maybe one or two things that I pointed out that hasn't happened on the show. And so it's very just real watching it. So I would like to know what your mother thinks of the show. Is she watching it? Does she love it? Like, is she a part of it? Is that something that's on her day to day radar?

I think she loves it. She likes that attention. Oh, yeah. I hate to say this, but, like, all the women in her family kind of like the attention a little bit. So it's just, like, when you're not getting it from a man and she's not dating right now, so she's getting it from, like, people that enjoy watching her character on the show do you think she will

take you and your sister's feedback on the next guy she decides to date when she does decide to date a hundred percent yeah i would imagine and i just like i kind of like to intimidate them sometimes where i play like mind tricks and be like oh yeah look what happened to the last guy it's so amazing well shit i can imagine you're a new guy coming in be like well listen here's the story if my mom's actually go watch this and i'm this person yeah i mean it's funny that you could find some some comedy out of it but oh yeah i'm a man be careful out there yeah be careful i got you what's the dating site called? One Time? Our Time? Our Time. Our Time. No thanks, Our Time. Yeah.

No thanks. So what is something that you can give out of everything you've been through? What's like a nugget of wisdom that you can give our audience that you've learned through all this adversity? It could be one thing that's like a valuable takeaway that through all of this you've learned about yourself, maybe a tip or trick that you've picked up that has made you feel better anything listen to your gut our bodies were made like if something's bothering us something's not right like our intuition our gut like it's telling us so just always listen to gut. I always say energy doesn't lie. And it sounds like his energy was really bad energy. Oh, yeah. It was bad energy.

We sage the house, like, 10 times. Yeah. Yeah. We need to sage our house. Speaking of sage, saging the house is, like, great. I think you guys can pick one up at Moon Juice. I just bought, like, a huge sage stick. Michael doesn't know this.

I'm going to sage's underwear drawer. That might need some saging. We both want to thank you for doing this. I know this was an intense conversation and we appreciate it. I think a lot of people listening will appreciate it. Where can everybody find your new blog? Yeah, pimp yourself out your Instagram and everything. Where can they go say hi?

Well, my Instagram is Tara Newell and then my blog is Tara Newell dot com. Can you spell it for the audience? Yes, it's T-E-R-A, and then last name is N-E-W-E-L-L. I just want to say that I think you're a brave badass. Oh, thank you. Like, honestly, I can see why the whole entire office is starstruck off you. I mean, it's really, really incredible what you've been through. She's a fucking badass.

Fucking badass. I might need to take a self-defense class. And maybe you should watch a little bit of The Walking Dead, Lauren, because it's a good show. Yeah, watch it. Watch it. I personally, I like Fear the Walking Dead better right now. I've never seen that one. I've got to watch that one.

Oh, it's like, they have really good actors in it. And actually, Kevin Zegers, he's in it. And he's in Dirty John, too. So I was really excited about that. Who plays your character? Julia Gardner. Are you dying? Do you just wake up and think, wow, that's so cool?

Oh, yeah. She's such a great actress. So I'm really honored that she's playing me. Really cool. Thank you so much for coming the blog comes out january 3rd right so if this airs january 3rd this airs a little bit before that so people can look out for the blog january 3rd check in with you and it's really really exciting that you're starting a blog and we can talk tips and tricks after yes i would love

that thank you for coming on thank you guys we hope you enjoyed tara's story in the meantime if this show has brought you any kind of value, please, please, please subscribe and rate the show. We really appreciate it. It takes five seconds. It's on iTunes. And it would really help the show grow. Thank you for listening. And we will see you next week.