The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Elena Cardone - How To Constantly Grow, Feel Empowered, Become Valuable, & Overcome Your Struggles

Episode Date: April 24, 2024

#691: Today we're sitting down with Elena Cardone, entrepreneur, former actress and model, and female empowerment coach. Committed to revitalizing their societal value, Elena champions their empowerment, guiding them to recognize and embrace their inherent potential. Her dedication lies in steering women toward extraordinary achievements. Today we have a conversation surrounding success, overcoming struggles, and making it out on top. We also dive into family, how to build a strong marriage, and how to be the best support system for your family. To connect with Elena Cardone click HERE To connect with Lauryn Bosstick click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE To Watch the Show click HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential This episode is brought to you by AG1 If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1. Go to drinkAG1.com/SKINNY to get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Branch Basics The Branch Basics Premium Starter Kit will provide you with everything you need to replace all of your toxic cleaning products in your home. It’s really a no-brainer. Go to branchbasics.com and use code SKINNY for 15% off their starter kit and free shipping. This episode is brought to you by Vegamour Give your hair the power of the little pink bottle. Visit vegamour.com/SKINNY and use code SKINNY at checkout to receive 20% off your first order. This episode is brought to you by SERVPRO SERVPRO is the #1 choice in cleanup and restoration. Visit SERVPRO.com or call 1-800-SERVPRO today. This episode is brought to you by Sun Bum Visit sunbum.com and use code SKINNY15 at checkout for 15% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Nike Find your feel with Nike Bras & Leggings that deliver supportive flexibility and comfort for whatever your day brings. Shop now at nike.com/women Produced by Dear Media

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her.

I don't need S-H-I-T to be me. And if you don't know that by now, shame on you. Like, get real. It's me. I'm freaking the homegirl from New Orleans. I don't need anything. I can walk in any room in any freaking outfit. And I don't need nothing to be me.

I'm me. I know who I am. Now, let's talk about you, Grant. Let's talk about you not living up to your potential. I'm going to help you, you know, reach a heightened level of success. You're going to help me reach a heightened level of success. We're going to do this together. We needed to collaborate if we were going to do this thing. That became the birth of Cardone Capital, the 10X Licensee Program, Cardone Ventures, 10X Stages, 10X Health. This episode blew my mind. Elena Cardone is on the Him and Her Show today. Okay, little backstory.

So I found Elena on TikTok, and I thought the advice that she was giving women was so smart, beyond smart and savvy that I reached out to her and I was like, I have to have you on the show. And then I read her bestselling book, Build an Empire, How to Have It All. And I was taking notes like a psycho. I know how important it is for me to remain powerful in my relationship and to also have like dominance and masculine energy. But I also want to mix it with feminine energy. And I think I'm so attracted to Alina because she does both of those energies so seamlessly and beautiful. She is a mother of two. She's married to a very high profileprofile, powerful man, Grant Cardone, and she runs her business like a tight ship. She's militant. And in person, she's beautiful.

She takes care of her body. She's excited. She's inspired. She's passionate. She's an author. She's just really done it all. I think she's really amazing at steering women towards extraordinary achievements. I also have to say I was so excited because we did a swap. So I was also on her show. It's called The Elena Cardone Show. Definitely go listen because she interviewed me like no one's interviewed me before. I think that everyone, especially women who are listening right now, are going to love this episode. It's going to empower you.

I don't always go back and listen to every single episode. And this is one where I will go back and take notes. We talk motherhood, stepping into your power, how to be powerful within a relationship, especially what it means to be married to someone who is also powerful. On that note, prepare to be inspired. Elena Cardone, welcome to the show. This is The Skinny Confidential, him and her. Elena is on the podcast. I am such a big fan of you. I like fangirls out in the conference room. I really love your TikTok. You guys got to go check it out. But I

want to start this out with kind of a broad question. What does it mean to become a woman of value? What does that mean? I think a woman of value is a woman that can reflectively look at her life and say that she is intentionally trying to grow, learn, reach her full potential, be the best that she could be because she has the power, the capacity, or the ability to influence the behavior of others. So this woman of value is not only valuable for herself, but for the intention to add value to her partner, to her children, to the community, thus making a difference for the better on the planet. Beautifully said. I think that for me, why I'm so attracted to your content is I feel like

you and your husband are both powerhouses separately, but you're together and you obviously have a beautiful relationship. But I feel that there's like, I don't feel like he tries to like push you down and I don't feel like you try to push him down. There's no tall poppy syndrome going on where you guys want everything to be the same. It feels like you're your own entity and he's his. Was that a strategic decision from the beginning or is that something that has happened over time? It's definitely something that's happened over time and I've evolved. I've gone through many transitions in our relationship

and to be honest, I've had multiple sort of internal identity crises with myself throughout our relationship that I can't speak for him, but I don't think he's ever gone through. So I'm at a point now in my life where I want to empower women. I want to protect children. I want to restore the family unit. When I made that decision to sort of be in the spotlight or however you want to call that, be a spokesperson or be an inspiration to other women out there was a conversation that I had to bring to the table and say, hey,

just so you know, this is my interest because my purpose prior to that and still is, this is only an addition to, but my role was different. It was to really support him to getting his message out because he's got the material that can actually bring financial freedom and legacy to the people that partake in his products and services, right? So my whole purpose before that was to support him to get that message out. When I decided to still do that, but now go do quote unquote my own thing, it was a conversation that we had to have because I didn't want him to think

I was separating from him and not including him. And now I'm gonna go be this empowered woman, which doesn't include you. So I had to have that conversation. And when I said that, I said, how do you feel about women? And do you want to see them working? Do you want feel about women? And do you want to see them working? Do you want to see them successful?

Do you want to see them? Well, of course, I was raised by a single mom. Sherry Hamilton's this chief operating officer of the company. I support women. Great. Well, this is what I want to do. And do you support me in that? If I still maintain my role in our relationship and with our family.

And so I had to actually get buy-in before I went to do that. So it was a strategic move, I suppose, in the end. What was it like before you were this version of you? What were you like before? You mentioned, you know, restoring the family unit where it sounds like you were in the family unit and supporting him. So. Oh, million percent. But like I've had evolution. So I went to Los Angeles from New Orleans when I was 17 years old to become an actress. Actually, it was really to escape New Orleans. But I was in my DNA reared to be an independent, powerful woman, never depend on a man for anything.

We don't have to get into where all that came from, but that was my belief system. I did not think I wanted to be married. I did not think I was capable of having children. I had a confusion around family. I thought it was sort of a degrade to be a mother. It's so mortifying to admit that today. It almost puts a lump in my throat. But I think that there's a lot of people listening, though, that will relate to that. So, I mean, if you could expand on that, I think, I mean, I understand that. I understand what you're saying. You do, right? Yeah. I thought my career was more important. And I placed a lot of my personal worth and value on the money I made and what acting jobs I was getting and being.

And that was my self-worth. I didn't gauge it on anything else. So from 17 to 30, I was a single woman. I bought my own house, my own cars, my own clothes. The guys I dated were just awful, right? I supported them. And then Grant comes along and I tap out on that. I'm like, surrender, you won, you got me.

He was an incredible guy. That's another story. Thank God he did. But I married him at 30. And when I was 30 and I married him, the first four years of our marriage, I was still trying to be this independent, powerful woman, never depend on a man for anything,

except I'm married to him. So what ended up happening is the first four years of our marriage, we were fighting all the time because that was our big game in life. And I didn't want him to tell me what to do. And I wasn't going to be some subservient woman and I don't need his money because it was a lot more than my money. And I didn't want him to think he had ownership over me. I was very different than how I am now. Where do you think that comes from? Like, why do you think that you had that mindset?

Is it something from your childhood? Yeah, I think so. I mean, when I analyze it, I do think it's in a subliminal message in society, whether it was the women's lib movement, we could analyze that. And a lot of good came out of that movement, but I think the pendulum

swing so far over the other side we got a lot of freedoms we can be president we can vote we can we can we can do jobs where we couldn't before in the past so a lot of good again came out of that but i think a lot of dangerous things came out of that, too, being, oh, you have to do everything by yourself. Don't depend on a man. So I can only reach a certain height because there isn't the power of two women often or at least myself cut my nose off despite my face. So my mom was the single breadwinner of the family. My father had returned from World War Two. He's deceased now, but and he couldn't assimilate back into society. And so he taught me never depend on a man because don't give your life away.

My dad had big dreams and aspirations to be a radio personality. That was his era. And I think he felt that his family, as much as he loved his family and he was an incredible father, sort of ruined or took that dream away from him. Now, my mother was the sole breadwinner and because she could never depend on my father for spare income, she was like, never depend on a man for anything. Because if you get in a situation where you have to provide for your family, you got to work and you got to figure this thing out.

So I do believe it came a big part of that from my parents. Right. But I don't think that's an uncommon story. I think there's a lot of people, women and men that have relied on a partner and then it goes south. And if they haven't put an emphasis on protecting their own income or having something of their own, like they're kind of left high and dry. And then all of a sudden you're like, well, what, you know, I don't have a career. What do I do? I don't have a career. What do I do? I don't have any savings. What do I do? I think that's a very common story. So I don't think it's strange that people think that way. But to your point, I think some of the messages that you're

conveying is like a family unit together, two people working towards the same goal and same ambition, same vision can be very powerful. Well, that's what I discovered. And I do say, find the one you trust and build an empire and if you don't know who to trust or if you don't trust yourself or you haven't figured out who you are and what you stand for and how to look and identify red flags yeah you can make mistakes but i'm at a point now where i've sort of figured out a lot of those by trial and error but back to the story in 2008 when the economic collapse happened and now I'm 36 years old and I find myself pregnant with our first child I realized the only way we were going to survive this economically we had other things going on too

was I had to dispute and defy all the women's voices in my head who didn't even really exist. But I thought that if I supported a man or I gave up my career to support him to build this idea and this vision that I had of an empire, we were very far away from that. So it was really scary. But because I heard the woman voices, what if he leaves you for someone else what if you don't have the money what if this what if that you're gonna look stupid this and that and how can how dare you betray women and go support a man that is so degrading it was the antithesis of what I wanted to be but I said I'm married to him he has a better chance of moving the ball down the field right now financially than I did. And I said, it was my actual first entrepreneur movement. I always

move because I always thought I was an actress, a visionary, but an entrepreneur puts financial risk, right? And I went and put all the chips on him. And I said, I'm going all in on you, giving up my career. I'm going to do this. And I did and it paid off. Now, when I had my first child, I was dealing with motherhood. I was a great mother. I loved my kids very much. But the next identity crisis came where now I'm not working. I had taken care of myself since I was 17 years old. I moved to Los Angeles by myself. And now I'm 36 years old. I'm a mother.

I think somehow I've lost my career. Now do I have to ask my husband if I can spend money on something? Like, what is that when we went to a party and somebody would say what are you doing Grant has this business granted it was struggling to survive but at least he had a business what are you oh I'm just a mom I mean that was actually my answer now I cringe I'm like please never say that like we're mothers like the world the human humankind cannot exist without a mother. Like we're responsible for the procreation and the continuation of civilization.

And I'm going to say, I'm just a mom. Like how disgusting that I would even have that thought. It should be, what do you do? I run this business. What do you do? Oh, I'm a mother of an infant daughter right now. I'm rearing her to be a productive member of society it would be like oh yeah Grant yeah you got that business wow you're a mom thank you for your contribution thank you almost thank you for your service right

so I went through that identity crisis I felt like you know I almost felt wiped out but I was still committed to my role and supporting Grant to building this empire. And there's all these businesses. He's the CEO of this, Cardone Capital, the CEO of this, the CEO of that. Where's my name in all of this? I almost felt like, what the hell? What the hell do I do? And because I had whatever, whatever little traumas, I decided I was never not going to be a full-time mom. And fortunately, Grant had had us in a situation. It was dire, but at least we could afford to allow me to stay and be a stay-at-home mom because I didn't want to turn that over to somebody else when the kids weren't able to articulate or really understand what was occurring if some bad situation was happening. I think it's worth for you to talk about that

a little bit because I think people see both of you now and all the things that you guys have built together, which is phenomenal. But I don't think they realize all of the struggles and the steps that it took to get there. It's just like you see the end thing now on social and the planes and the trips and all the stuff in Cardinal Capital, which is massive. But can you talk about what it was like being married with two kids or with the kids when you guys were going through those struggles and how you were both able to kind of like stay together and navigate that? That was actually in a lot of ways easier than it is today because we were so fortified. We were so on

purpose with the big picture. We always said, if we turn our lives into what it is today, we're going to be an open book. We're going to navigate, fast track the success of others. It was really, we became teammates and allies and we fought against everybody else that was against us and we stopped fighting each other. And we really figured out, we were desperate to figure it out because we were really on the verge of losing everything. And it was pre-social media, so you couldn't see the sacrifice phases. You couldn't see before I was in a nice Chanel outfit and Chanel shoes. There was none of that until 10 years ago. I didn't have Chanel in my 20s, my 30s. You can't find a picture of me in anything like that. It was total sacrifice phase. We just worked. And when you say sacrifice phase,

what did that look like day to day and how you guys were living compared to now? There was no spending on anything other than the basic necessities and either in self-enhancement or the business. There was nothing extra, no frills, no vacations, no dinners. It was just putting and investing back into the company, into the organization, into growing, into sacrifice phase. Looked like we had this big, beautiful home before the crash and whatnot. It was Lionel Richie's old house. Overlooked the whole city. It was gorgeous. Sold the house, sold the cars, literally became homeless and carless. We left all of our friends behind to move to Miami where we knew no

one. We didn't know where we were going to live, but we decided we're getting out of California. It wasn't good for us financially with the taxes and the way that was going. So we sacrificed that comfortable life that we knew for, I had been there over 20 years at that time and left it all to go make a new place that we could call home where we could actually grow our business. And now we have over a thousand employees with everything combined. Might even be more than that. Yeah. Real estate in California is not ideal. No. So you have two babies at this point and you're in Miami. Talk to us about that and then how you evolved to the next sort of version of yourself. Okay. And I went through many years

before I finally felt like I could do more stuff and have, and I always hired two nannies because I thought one could, they didn't know each other, that one couldn't do anything like hit them or whatever without the other one putting the checks and balances there. So I did actually gain a little bit more where I would go into the office with Grant and start working a little bit more. But I still struggled with the identity of like, well, who am I and what do I do? And I was used to being a star. I was on a show. I did hundreds of commercials. I traveled the world. I was a model. I was on USA High. I was used to being a star. And then I was a young star. But you know what I mean? I was used to.

So I finally came to the point one time where I just started to learn how to use what was thrown at me. And just instead of feeling stopped by it, I learned how to use and turn it into a weapon. For instance, if I was heard, oh, she's a trophy wife or she's got no substance or whatever, I was like, well, or she's a gold digger. I heard all of that. Then I started to own it and I started to say, yeah, I am a gold digger because I dig for gold in myself because I do. And that allows

me to dig and demand it of the people around me. And I do dig for gold in Grant. And I don't need that stuff to be somebody. I really don't because I know who I am. And that doesn't matter. I'm looking for a spiritual legacy play at this point, but I use that. So when somebody said, oh, she's in the support role or, you know, that when I struggled with that title, I looked up the word support in the dictionary and it says to show active interest in the success of. I was like, do I have to apologize for showing interest in our empire and my husband and our kids? No, I'm not going to apologize for that one.

What's the next one say? The next one says to bear the weight of. To bear the weight of. So if you think like a support beam inside of a building, right? If the beam is going to support the weight and everything that comes along with it, which one has to be stronger? The support beam or the thing that it's bearing the weight of the support beam so i was like wait a minute if i'm in the support role and i'm bearing the weight of grant and everything that comes along with that uh environment entity it's like how strong do i have to become how strong do i have to maintain myself you very few people probably understand but I work to make myself strong enough to endure that so I own it now I am I that is one of my superpowers that I know how to support and I'm strong enough to support I'm never going to apologize for being stronger than the thing that I'm supporting like I know that role and I know what that takes. And anyone who is lucky enough to have me

support them, to show active interest in the success of you and to support you, no one is allowed in my world that I can't help or build up. I won't allow it because I won't allow you to make me look like a failure. So if I take on that role, everyone in my circle has to get better or they're out. I am someone who's very thoughtful and purposeful with my routines and I take it very seriously. It's changed my life. It's helped me to lose weight, to feel better, to just be my best. And one thing that I do in my routine that I've been doing forever is drinking AG1. AG1's ingredients are insane, especially in the morning. Every scoop has like prebiotics, probiotics, digestive enzymes for gut support. It has B

vitamins, magnesium, folate, ashwagandha. It even has vitamin C and zinc. And I just think to be able to put one scoop in water, and I like to froth it up and drink it down in the morning, is just like a great way to set the tone of your day. Taking care of your health shouldn't be overly complicated, and AG1 really simplifies this. Basically, you can cover your nutritional bases and set yourself up for success in just 60 seconds. This is something that I do every morning and it just makes me feel better. I notice more energy I like how I feel even when i'm like digesting my food the digestive enzyme for me is a game changer I was actually told by a doctor that I needed that and so this was like years ago I implemented ag1 I did my blood test the other day and he was like, you are good to go.

So if you want to replace your multivitamin and more, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3 plus K2 and five free AG1 travel packets. I'm obsessed with these for when I'm traveling. You get it with your first subscription at drinkag1.com slash skinny. That's drinkag1.com slash skinny. That's drinkag1.com slash skinny. Check it out. Quick break to talk about branch basics. You guys are talking to somebody who has been converted. If you're somebody that is thinking and has been wanting to make smarter decisions for the household, healthier decisions, let's start talking about making those decisions first with cleaning supplies. Many of us grew up with all sorts of nostalgic products that come with all sorts of harmful chemicals. And we've basically just been going down the aisles of the grocery store, grabbing all the stuff that our parents

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in the home. Branch Basics now has a new luxurious gel hand soap made with only the safest ingredients to nourish your skin. Our kids love it. Our dogs love it. We love it. And there's no way I could go back at this point. So check it out. Don't wait any longer. Get those chemicals out of your house. Start making the healthier decision with Branch Basics. Of course, we have a special offer for all of our listeners. Save 15% on your starter kit or their new hand soap when you use code skinny at www.branchbasics.com. Again, that is code skinny for 15% off when you purchase a starter kit or their new gel hand soap at branchbasics.com. It's so funny because I constantly am breaking down my outfits on Instagram stories, and I have like an LTK page, and literally on every single picture of me, I always tag the same hair serum because I use it every single'll do it in the morning. I'll just do scalp massage. I stretch the fascia. I stretch my face up and I just really get in there with Vegamore's hair serum.

This is really great for me too, because I'm not a big fan of always washing my hair, but this hair serum is really great. If you want to go longer in between washes, it's called the grow hair serum. It's the one that I always talk about. I've been using it forever. It's a monthly subscription to my house. You can get it on monthly subscription too. You can get one bottle or three bottles. Super easy, saves time. It's so popular that they literally sell one bottle of their hair serum every 15 seconds on their website. So that should tell you how good it is. There is no harmful chemicals, no parabens, no hormones. It's cruelty-free,

and it's just a really great product if you want visibly fuller, healthier, and thicker-looking hair. Elevate your hair wellness routine this year with Vegamore. For a limited time, get 20% off your first subscription order by going to vegamore.com slash skinny, and use code skinny at checkout. That's V-E-G-A-M-O-U-R.com slash skinny. Code skinny to save 20% off your first order. V-E-G-A-M-O-U-R.com slash skinny. Code skinny. We've been together a long time and I would like to think that I would be further along than just on my own, but I know that it's not true. Like I know in my life, a lot of the success I've had is because I've had a really strong woman push me. And I look from the outside and maybe a lot of people that aren't in this kind of relationship don't get it yet. But when I see Grant and all his accomplishments, and then I

see the way you are, but oh, it makes a lot of sense. And it's a huge advantage for him personally as a man, because a lot of men are not lucky enough to have that kind of support, or they're trying to do it on their own. And I'm sure there's been moments in his personal career of doubt and insecurity and wondering like, what's next, where you've probably stepped in knowing you for five seconds, where you've said like, hey, get your shit together, buddy, and get up. I say pull the sand out of your vagina. No she, yeah. She, no, but it's, I'm in any moments where I'm like kind of getting down on myself. Try it on Grant and see what he thinks. I'm going to.

I don't have. What? Yeah. I don't have the ability to like go crying to her about something. Like if I do, she's like, get like, she's like slap, slap, get your shit together. And I was watching something you were doing. I don't remember the exact piece of content. I've been aware of you guys for a while. And I was like, oh, that's what that guy

is getting among other things from you. And I think I recognize it because I'm a man who gets a similar thing. And I think it's such an advantage for both couples, for everybody in the relationship to have that support system because it's lonely doing anything as an entrepreneur and trying to push that rock up a hill by yourself. It's hard. And there's a lot of insecure moments and there's a lot of moments of doubt. And there's a lot of times when you kind of lose a little bit of faith, but then you have that person that's like, come on, buddy. What did you do? Just pull the sand out of vagina. Like, fine. And I think it's relevant for you to talk about because you guys have been so successful, not only individually, but as a couple. And I think it's relevant for you to talk about because you guys have been so successful, not only individually, but as a couple.

And I think it's an inspiring message and story for people to hear, honestly. And I agree with you. And one of the confusions that I had to sort out too was I also had this idea that a couple was supposed to show that support in a certain way. Ideally for me, I thought, oh, it's supposed to look nice and sweet and loving. And sometimes I realize it doesn't look like that. Quick story, when I was writing my book, it was taking me a long time. I have excuses. I'm not smart. I don't write books. I can't sit still, blah, blah, blah. Grant asked me one day, he was like,

how's the book coming? And I started with my excuses and he called me lazy and a coward. I was furious because I thought this mother effer, I support him. I have cheerleaded. I have patched up his wounds. I've been difficult when I had to. And he is not there. This all went on in my head, right? And I was like, he's not there this all went on in my head right and I was like he's not there for me like if I told any one of my girlfriends this oh they would be like why do you deal with this but I don't talk to my girlfriends about anything because that would only be a detriment to my relationship you know what I'm saying you guys have that in common I'm gonna thumbtack back to the wall keep talking keep talking okay so so yes but it but it lit a fire under my butt

and I wrote the book and the book as much as I hear the success of other people that loved the book and that that is a big reward for me the book was really for me like the book was it validated it rehabilitated my entire schooling where I thought I was stupid. I'm like, I wrote a book that's actually really good. I'm a smart chick. I'm one of those people. I'm not one of these like, because I always thought that's not me. I'm not the smart person. I'm the visionary. I'm the artist. I'm the this. The book rehabilitated me and Grant helped me to get there because I could have quit. And it made me feel good and confident about myself. I had a product that I could place in somebody's hand and say, hey, you know what? Hopefully this book can help you.

It was like a huge validation. And I was a snot too. When I finished, I threw it back at him. I said, here, how's that from a lazy and a coward? And then he was like, yeah, you're not lazy and a coward. You know what I could see him saying? Be obsessed or be average. No, but I think, again, in a relationship, I think it is the responsibility of a partner that really wants the best for their partner to cut through the BS and push. There's a moment where

sometimes you have to show compassion, but other times you have to say, get your shit together. That's right. And I think we live in a time now where people are more concerned about trying to like, kind of make people feel good and comfortable all the time, as opposed to giving them what they really need. Right. I grew up with a mother. She's half Japanese. So yeah, you can't tell looking at me, but there was no like, Hey, I hope you're feeling better. It was like, get the fuck up and go. Your mom has the same energy. Do you guys have the same energy? And because of it, I've always been, thanks mom, I've been attracted to a certain kind of strength from a woman because probably because I got that

when I was a kid and I'm not interested in being babied. I'm not interested in being told everything's okay. I'm not interested in having my back rubbed when I'm feeling like I like the push. And I think sometimes, and I'll just speak to men, men that are babied too much or maybe nurtured a little too much, they get older in life and then life starts to hit them and they're looking for a certain kind of woman that's trying to nurture them all the time as opposed to like saying hey buddy like quit being a bitch you know and you know not to be vulgar but i think it doesn't do a service to many men i think like you need a strong counterpart that's going to hold you accountable and push you and i think vice versa i think like you need a strong counterpart that's going to hold you accountable and push you. And I think vice versa. I think like nobody wants to be babied all the time. It's not productive.

I agree. I still want to hear the evolutions of you. I still so so you have to talk to me about how you got to that book. Like I want to know the in between how you got to even writing a book. What was that like? That was the very first 10X Growth Conference. Grant asked me to speak. It's an entrepreneurial conference. And I don't know entrepreneurial. Grant does that. I did something different in the relationship. He built the business. He understands all that stuff. I helped and I supported and I've heard all the nomenclature, but I haven't had the experience of doing it. So I'm like, what am I going to talk about? And Grant was like at an entrepreneurial conference. And then he was like, talk about what you know.

And so I talked about what I know about what I do in the relationship and how we do things and how we operate and how we came together for the big purpose. And how it's led to this success. And out of that conference, I realized people weren't doing what we were doing. They didn't have that piece figured out. They were still doing what we had done by the fighting each other and then this and that. And the reception and the feedback was so big and so positive. I couldn't believe that people wanted to hear that at an entrepreneurial conference. Because a lot of people could be building and creating all day at work and coming home and tearing it all apart. They don't have that piece or that component together.

So then as Growth Conference has evolved, I think we're going into our ninth year now. And now my kids are older. This thing has just grown by demand. So how did I get to the book? Grant says, you got to write a book because you can help people. And I fought him on it. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. And then the next thing you know, I'm writing the book. And then you started putting yourself out there on social media. Then I started putting myself out there on social media because the kids are older now. They're about to be 13 and 15. They don't need me as much. I mean, you know, of course, who doesn't need their mother? But you know what

I'm talking about? Not like a young child. When you look back on your whole life with Grant, have you guys always known that this was the big vision? Like Michael and I strategize a lot on our big vision. We talk about what we're going to do in a year, five years, 10 years. Were you guys doing that? And did you know you would sort of be right here as you are now today? We understood in 2008, in 2008, when we were on the verge of losing everything, I used to make him play this game called the lotto game, which was, what if you had X amount of money?

What if you had this? What if you had that? I did that for a number of reasons. I wanted to lift his spirits because he was really down and I wanted to get his mind to expand and it worked. I did it every single day. Was he just leveraged in 2008 with commercial or residential real estate? Is that what happened?

No, we weren't over leveraged. We had no problem. We never missed a payment or anything. The banks decided to say that because our net worth had dropped, we were in default and they wanted a ton of money. Because you had most of the assets tied up and they went. In real estate. Yeah.

Then we were under a lawsuit where we were actually, it was the first time in our lives where friends actually marked us. We were victim of a con job. So we were under a lawsuit for a lot of money, millions. I'm a girl from New Orleans. I couldn't even fathom that. And then his business as he knew it was over. So we were struggling at that time. I want to talk about a TikTok that you did, and I'm going to flub it, but you talked about how something about how you wanted Grant to be a billionaire. Can you explain that? I thought you were so eloquent in that TikTok.

Yeah, that's part of why I did the lotto game, because I wanted to get him to think bigger and to realize that it takes as much energy to think small as it does to think big. You just have to think with scale and then you can start seeing opportunities and what would it take? So I, one day in several years ago, it was one of the hardest moments in business wise for me because I was always thought of myself as the golden goose, my visions that I would have. A lot of them hit the chopping block, but the ones that work, Grant would turn into this great thing out of this idea that I would have, this architect thing. And this thing that I wanted him to do turned out to be a colossal failure. It cost us millions of dollars.

I was wrong. The other partner that we were going to hook up with, it was just devastating for me. I lost a lot of confidence. I felt like I lost cred with the company, the organization. It didn't work out. It ended up in another lawsuit. So I was thinking, you know what? After I got over, I want to kill these people I decided wait I can't do that because I can't go to jail because I'd look terrible without all the stuff that I do

to make myself look good so after that I said you know what and they were billionaires by the way this other that I can't really talk about but the thing that happened was with billionaires we weren't billionaires at the time I thought they knew more than us us, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I thought, oh, this is going to be the perfect thing to get us where we want to be and blah, blah, blah. Anyway, out of that, I said, wait a minute. Why isn't Grant a billionaire? Because Grant would

actually do amazing things and help a lot of people. He would help all the quote unquote little people like us, right? Because those people, believe it or not, still look at us like we're the little people. It's true. There's levels to this game. I know I might be speaking out reality for a lot of people, but it's true. They look at us like we're the nothings. I'm talking Wall Street. I'm talking the JP Morgans. I'm talking those people that won't even look at you unless you have a billion, two, three, or four billion. You know what I'm saying? In that video, in my head, I went,

okay, Grant's gotta be a billionaire because he needs to be influencing because why are we trusting these billionaire guys? Because they're not good people or I don't like the way they do things. I like the way we do things and all of our people why are we stuck believing all the middle class ideas that they're telling us to be in the same rat race whereas if you break and crack the code and we got in this together what if we could all rise up and this is all going on in my head you

know and I'm like and then we need to get Grant everywhere so that they see him everywhere. It was a little vindictive, I'll admit. But I was like, so then I thought of the licensee program. And then I thought of Cardone Capital. We could grow and expand if we allowed investors to come into it before. I never wanted to look at that idea, but I was like, but we could grow and scale and then we could do this and we could do that. And then I was like, yeah, Grant needs to be a billionaire. He needs to be the one walking amongst the giants of the world because look at all the good and look at all the people that would learn and better than them they they shut everything off from the world and they close the curtains and they're not willing to be vulnerable in front of people but we could fast

track success so all this went into my head and then I ran into the door and I was like you need to become a billionaire and then he was like that's easy for you to say you have all these ideas I'm the one that that has to hammer and claw on this and I get beat up and you get to do nothing you get to have these ideas and when's enough enough for you and when is anything going to be good enough for you and did it and I was like whoa that did not go how it went in my head well you're the support beam grant I was like you're the support beam it's like you're supporting it all i was like yeah you're right and when you support that's a whole other thing because when you demand a

billionaire from a guy that does not think that it's possible and that you're you know wrong for even wanting to go there you can't say be a billionaire and then say when is enough enough and when are you going to come home and hold my hand and turn off your electronics so we can watch netflix when it takes you know you want to be a billionaire you got to reach a lot of people you got to exchange your products and services you got to get known money follows attention look at everybody on forbes you know who they are because they've done something big they weren't you know what i'm saying so how did you even put this into motion if this is the the conversation that's happening well I had to freaking rework the thing and say look dude it's me I shoot guns you know I'm a competitive I don't need I don't need sh it

to be me and if you don't know that by now shame on you like get real it's me I'm freaking the home girl from New Orleans. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't need Chanel. I don't need anything. I can walk in any room in any freaking outfit, and I don't need nothing to be me. I'm me. I know who I am. Now, let's talk about you, Grant. Let's talk about you not living up to your potential, depriving people of the health from your products and services because you're too much of a small mind to think that you can. You want to deprive those people of you because you don't have the audacity to go for it.

So what if it's impossible? Go for it. Why aren't you the giants? Why is that person the giant? I want you on my team. This is the support. I mean, he's lucky that he has all this. So did he start

to wrap his head around yes well clearly of course i said look i'm here to support you dude i'm here to support you well i think that's the big thing it's like and i think both people in relationships do this sometimes partners and relationships berate their partner and fail to mention the second part, which is, I'm here supporting you. It's like, you're not good enough. I need you to be more, go figure it out. I'm not here to support, like it's on you. I think that the second part of your message, which was like, I'm supportive of you and believe in you, that is what probably tips the needle. I did. I was like, dude, that is a transgression on you for you not to live to your full potential.

If you're okay with living in sin, then fine. But I see you. It's almost like somebody else recognizing it in you too. That's what I said. I said, I see you and you're a giant and, and to be playing on a smaller level is, is, you know, is, is, is sad to see. What's the first step of that building block? Like, what did you guys do after he wrapped his head around it?

What's the first step? He started to think and scale. And we started to collaborate. Before, we were doing everything on our own. It was very similar to the beginning of our marriage, where I was like, don't tell me what to do. And then I finally went to the next phase, which was, okay, we got to get strength in numbers. I'm going to help you reach a heightened

level of success. You're going to help me reach a heightened level of success. We're going to do this together. Then we needed to go outside. We needed to collaborate if we were going to do this thing. So then that became the birth of Cardone Capital, the 10X Licensee Program, Cardone Ventures, 10X Stages, 10X Health. We collaborate with all of these other entities to grow and scale. We're like, we're going to be the Amazon for the entrepreneur. We're going to scale. So we started to have partnerships and collaborations and stop fighting everyone.

And, you know. It sounds like you also started comparing yourselves and your businesses to the largest businesses in the world. That's right. Looking at it that way. That's right. I'm glad you brought that point up. Instead of comparing like, I want to be, you know, I want to have an apartment building. You started saying like, we're going to be the Amazon, which is a multi, I mean, is it trillion now? Yeah, exactly like yeah i think we started studying corporations what are they doing with money not with yeah i don't want to throw anyone under the bus but not with dame dave ramsey or one of those people are telling you to save your money you're not going to save your money to wealth that's not what they do look look and

study what the corporations are doing with money. They're using money. You're very well spoken about money and about women and money. Can you talk a little bit about that? There's a lot of women listening. I think it's because Grant's such a fan of Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I don't know if you know that story. I'm just kidding. Zing!

The thing that I can tell you about money, there's a lot of things I can tell you about money. There's a lot of things I can tell you about money. Early on when Granta has an accounting degree, I still need to count on my fingers at the blackjack table to know where I'm at to the 21. I'm not even joking. Wish I was. So when I was feeling inferior on money, I was like, well, I never went to college. What do I need to know? He's like, Elena, money is simple. There's only three things you need to know about money. One, you got to learn how to earn it. Two, you got to know how to store it, which is different from save it. Store it is two, you store it until you have enough to put into number three, which is most people don't know how to do, which is to put it into an income producing asset. How

do you make your money make babies? How do you make it grow? So earn it, store it, and multiply it. And the multiplying it is by investing it into an income producing asset. So it doesn't depend on my work. That's the only way to go to wealth. You don't earn your way to wealth. Or save your way. Or save your way. So that's what I learned about money. There's more I can tell you about money. It's money. I've learned so much about money. Women need to take responsibility and look at their money, see where it's at, understanding money. It's a relationship. What is your relationship with money? Look at it as a relationship with a man or a woman.

How do you treat money? Does it want to run away from you? Does it like you? Does it not like you? Do you think women should have their own bank account, their own separate finances? What's your vibe on that? I i mean you got to work out your agreements with your partner the way y'all invent your relationship so i don't i really want to tell people what to do for that because that's theirs for me i have my own personal accounts i also share an account like grant takes and provides for the entire family. He's awesome like that. So I don't pay rent. I don't pay groceries. I don't pay for the school. I don't pay for the kids clothes. Unless I want to, you know what I mean? But he provides for the family. That's our rule. That's

our agreement. I don't violate that. I have my own accounts. If I want to go spend, I don't know, name the number and I don't want to have to say, is this okay with you? I have my own accounts if I want to go spend I don't know name the number and I don't want to have to say is this okay with you I have my own things I went to Grant early on several years ago and said I want to invest in Cardone Capital and he was like like like that is the dumbest thing what are you talking about you're my wife you have half of the Cardone capital and I was like no I need to see every single month what I'm making from the like like it's important for me that's just me personally psychologically I'm not there yet I need to have my own thing that I'm seeing where I don't have to ask anyone for money where I don't feel like that's just my own personal thing that I haven't either evolved

or I don't know I don't know I don't can't speak on that my own personal thing that I haven't either evolved or I don't know. I don't know. I don't can't speak on that. It's just psychologically, I want to see that I'm making my own income. But for many years, I didn't make any income, you know, and I suffered that identity crisis. Hot tip. If you or anyone you know has experienced any kind of disaster, so floods, storms, fires, mold, you have to check out Servpro. Truly, though, it's the number one choice in cleanup and restoration, and they do construction too. They have over 50 years of experience helping people recover from disasters. They're here to help 24-7. You just

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I'm doing a walking meditation. We get in our morning light and movement in and we love it. It's like a habit stack if I've ever seen one. And during those morning walks, I'm wearing Nike, specifically at my Indie bra and my Nike Motiva walking shoes. The bra is so supportive. In fact, it comes in different support levels. So you can get like low, medium or high support depending on the size of your boobs or preference. Plus the bra has adjustable straps and is so comfortable. Nike's Motiva walking shoes are smooth. They're cushioned. They're comfortable. They're great for like a daily walk. And what I like about them is they give you optimum support for every move every day. I have plantar fasciitis and these are amazing for that. Both the Indie Bra and the Nike Motivas are

the move. The Indie Bra just sculpts your body in a perfect way. I feel like we've been talking a lot lately about tailored, well-fitting clothes. And this is it when it comes to athletic wear. Another thing that I love is they're both so durable. So you're getting high quality flattering apparel that you can wash and wear over and over again. You'll just keep reaching for these staples just like me. Shop now at Nike.com. Again, that's Nike.com. I have a tangent that I want to go on with you just selfishly. Why do you not talk to your girlfriends about your marriage oh for many reasons um because because lauren doesn't either i don't think nope well i equated to the king and the queen because i wrote that book build an empire so i i just metaphorically speak would a queen talk to a chambermaid about the king, how would the chambermaid understand

what it is that the queen is going through or has to understand? They are not married to the most powerful man. They don't understand what it takes. And it could be the best friend. That's just the analogy, right? The analogy and why it sounds so bad, chambermaid, you wouldn't talk to anyone that does not have the reality

chances are that person would cut you out of the equation to be the queen if they could maybe maybe not a month but do you know what i'm saying so there's multiple reasons there's that why am i going to go get advice from somebody who has a failed marriage who doesn't understand what it's like to be with a man like that or raise children or so i'm not getting advice from people who have the most confusion in that area which is relationships number two if i go and tell my friend how horrible grant was about something some upset that i had which there's two sides of the story and then i'm gonna go make up with Grant but now I've told them that Grant is name it domineering Grant is controlling he only thinks about himself whatever they're stuck with that so now I've made up with my husband I go hang out with my best

friend Susie Q and then she's like so Grant? Oh, is he doing the domineering thing again? Boom. I'm lit back up. Didn't even have a fight with him, but I'm lit back up. Either I'm trying to now talk to her and convince her that my husband isn't the piece of garbage that I made him out to be earlier. I'm trying to convince her of that. Or I'm reignited about the upset and how he does not treat me with respect. And he does treat me like a, and I'm trying to convince her of that or I'm reignited about the upset and how he does not treat me with respect and he does treat me like I said, and I'm always doing this for him and he doesn't do that. And then boom, now I'm home with my husband and guess what? He does one little thing where he's like, I'm going here to do this. I'm like, oh, really? Oh, so it's my job to take care of the kids. Oh, you just get to do whatever you want because you just think about only yourself. Do you understand? I've just now picked a fight that wasn't even there because I'm all re-stimulated from this conversation that I had with this girl. Yeah. It's all, it's also

super awkward when sometimes we'll be one of somebody like a couple, you know, maybe one of them is complaining about the other person and then we're all, us three are together. And then we go to dinner with all four of us. Like we're all sitting there knowing about all this and it's awkward it's like and i feel like that kind of energy diminishes a relationship because everyone's there and it like puts this negative i mean even it's like called woo but like this feeling and this like energy on the relationship where yeah we've never got or understood why other couples or even people in relationship complain to other people and then try to get everybody together because it's like we're all sitting there like this is also just not

team-like yeah it's not team-like to go it was like a betrayal trash your partner to to a friend to me it doesn't feel like that that's part of the vision it's not yeah and it is a betrayal and you know at the end of the day you're gonna work it out and any team is gonna have a problem from time to time shit and like we he does shit that's annoying of course but like we don't need to go over every single thing he does because you're right it does ignite it and you are emotional when you're saying it. Yeah, you're getting your PhD in self-awareness. You're never annoying, right? Look, marriages aren't easy. Being with people isn't easy.

You have to figure it out because you can't do it alone. No empire has ever been built alone. How are you balancing all of the buckets that you have right now? One of the reasons I personally selfishly wanted you on the show is because I look up to the way that you do everything effortlessly, which I know is not effort. It's probably behind the scenes. There's. Probably a lot of the times going, oh God, like, you know, like, because I want to be 10x. I want to be great. I want to be. So I have very high expectations and standards of myself. And so there are a lot of times where I feel like I'm falling short. But I try to take that and go, is there a way I can make that situation so it doesn't happen again? Can I hire out now somebody that can be in my place of business when I have to put in my

family time or my child time? I don't balance. I juggle. So whatever ball is most important is getting my attention in that moment. Sometimes it's the kids because they're always going to come first if it's an emergency, no matter what. But sometimes it's not an emergency. Sometimes they just are bored and want my attention. In those moments, I have to artfully have somebody or have some activity that they can do and have had the conversation of like,

look, this is my goal and my dream. Do you support me on this? How can you get buy-in? And then, okay, so you can show support when I have to be away or I have to do this or I can't be at the beck and call or I have to do a Zoom. You can understand. So there's all of that buy-in that goes on. But if I can't be with them, then I have somebody there. Same with the business. I'm doing business first, if that's the thing, when nothing else is the priority.

And I put the people in place. So I'm constantly just juggling. How do you and Grant look at raising really solid, productive children? We have indoctrinated them from when they were very little about what we do as a family, who we are, what our values are, how they can contribute as a team member if they so agree and they're willing. Since they were two years old, we're Team Cardone. We want to make a difference for the better. This is how we do it. We do this. We do this. We do this. When we have to be on the road, if you stay here and you take

care of the nannies, we know they think they're taking care of you, but it's vice versa. It gives them a role, right? They're responsible for something. Oh, yeah. They get all excited. You do that without being a distraction and we go and help lives. Do you realize that you help their life? You did that because you were a team. So we had buy-in. So from a very very young age we've communicated to them told them everything like they seem like they seem this just social media very entrepreneurial very yeah but you can feel it we you know they weren't raised the way we were raised grant and i were raised they're raised with what we know now and the principles. I've never told my

kids, you know, they were worried. We think people, you know, are going to think that we're spoiled and this and that. I'm like, it doesn't matter what anybody thinks. You know, you know, you got to know who you are. My kids come to me and if they want the latest iPhone or the this or the that, it's a yes. It's a yes. A million percent. You want the new iPhone? Abso-fricking-lutely, dude. There's no scarcity.

What are you going to do for that? Are you going to make phone calls and raise $500,000 for Cardone Capital? Are you going to sell a 10X diamond ticket? How do you want to do it? You want to clean all the waste paper baskets for the 200 employees? You can do the mailers? What is it how you want to do it you want to clean all the waste paper baskets for the 200 employees you can do the mailers like what is it that you want to do but you can earn anything it's you you're not in a not have you can create anything you want so they'll pick a little like chore to do to get what they want yeah but it's not little depending on the item you know when they were really it's a real thing when they were really little it was they had a starboard that was tacked up to the refrigerator every 20 stars got him a 20 star gift

what's a 20 star gift whatever they wanted at target and it's their gift by the way it's their gift so if they bought a little car and then they came home and wanted to hammer the car and smash it it wasn't me going what's wrong with you? I just bought you that. No, it's theirs. I admire the way you guys do that though, because I think there's wealthy parents that give their kids everything without having to do anything. They had to pay for the blame. When they were like five years old, they had to give me their entire piggy bank and I took it. But I think also there are some parents that maybe try to humble their children and they lose the message. And like, I love the message that if you do all these things, you can get whatever you want.

Because, you know, maybe they won't want whatever that, but you know, who knows? That's how your parents raised you. Well, my dad was always like, you can get anything you want in the world if you put out the effort to, to that acquires itires it right and there was never a situation where like oh like there's a ceiling to what you could get right does that make sense yeah he was always like it's anything under the sun but there is an effort required to go and do it and i think sometimes parents maybe because their own experience they put like a cap on that oh yeah money doesn't grow on trees they couldn, they literally couldn't afford it.

It's, oh, you can't have that. Yeah, and it's like, I think you don't want to stifle somebody's ambition by telling them that there's a cap. The message is, if you do all these things and it has to be productive and it has to be valuable and it has to serve a greater purpose, then the sky's the limit. That's right.

And they get rewarded. I tell them I only buy them designer clothes on their birthday and Christmas. And it's not an overwhelm, but that's the only time I do it. The rest, they have to earn it. Smart. I like that. You guys are both vocal people. And I think your messages are sometimes so straight to the point and so forward that

people get riled by these messages. I'm sure you've seen it all, especially in a time, again, where people are very cautious about hurting people's feelings. Both of you are like straight shooters. How do both you and Grant deal with that pushback or that resistance when you have a message that you have strong conviction in, but that is getting pushback? I saw something about how you guys are homeschooling and how he, I think it was him, how he feels about the public school system for most of them. And that was met with a lot of resistance. How do you guys handle that? The resistance and the haters? Is that what

you're talking about? Yeah. I mean, just people that are like, they just vehemently disagree with what you're saying. They can. It's totally fine with me. I'm done living my life for other people this is my life you know when it's done it's who are you i don't i'm not even gonna remember you i'm gonna remember my family and the contribution i know it's in my heart i know the spiritual legacy play that i'm going for and so you know unless somebody's really trying to kill physically or metaphorically my family, my investors, my employees, I'm not messing with you. You can say what you want. You can have your right to. Somebody comes in to try to hurt, harm anyone that we protect.

I will chop your head off and parade it on a spike so everyone can see. Because you got to set an example that what you will do for the people you love and to protect your empire, work really hard to be ethical. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I'm monogamous. I'm trying the best I can to be the best mother I can. I'm trying to help women. I'm not trying to harm anybody. You mess with me and where I built myself and crawled out of to become the woman and the spiritual being that I am today, I will fight an enemy. Hey, Lauren, get that energy. If anybody says anything mean to me get in there put their head on a spike before i go on your podcast you guys have to go listen can you just leave us and this is completely random with a couple beauty and wellness things that you do i try to drink a

gallon of water a day okay i take my 10x health you know, I believe in anti-aging and wellness so much that we bought a company. It's called 10X Health. And I'm on the superhuman protocol. So I do the red light therapy. The oxygen, I'm a little lazy on. I don't like putting that mask on, but it's really good for you. I do that mat that we have. I don't do the cold plunges.

I wish I would because they're supposed to be great for you. Go to company. We're going to show you. Okay. But I don't do the cold plunges. I wish I would because they're supposed to be great for you. Go to company. We're going to show you. Okay. But I don't eat meat. I eat seafood.

I don't eat gluten. So that's what I do for health and wellness. And you said no alcohol? No. No, I don't drink alcohol. I don't do drugs. I gave birth to two children

naturally. Damn. Elena, thank you for coming on. Where can everyone find your book? Everything you're up to. There's like all the Instagram handles. Tell us everywhere. Pimp yourself out. Well, I'm Elena Cardone. That's E-L-E-N-A-C-A-R-D-O-N-E, like car and done. ElenaCardone.com is everything. If you want a free copy of my book, go to elenacardone.com forward slash empire.

You know, I have to tell you, sometimes when you meet people that you admire in person, they say like, never meet your idols. You, you surpassed. So thank you for coming on the show. I think you're a fantastic on a mic. She's welcome back anytime. Thank you very much.

I'm going on her show, The Elena Cardone Show. Have you signed up for the Him and Her newsletter? What you'll get is weekly tips from Michael and I, and then you're going to get our monthly favorites, like what we bought, what we're reading. It's really fun. We take a lot of time and effort to put everything in one place for you guys. All you have to do is go to tscpodcast.com to sign up for the newsletter and you will get all of our secrets straight to your inbox. Be sure to also listen to me solo on Elena's

show. It's called the Elena Cardone Show available on Apple.