The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Gabby Bernstein On Overcoming Depression, Anxiety, & How To Handle Postpartum

Episode Date: November 12, 2019

#227: On this episode we sit down with Gabby Bernstein. Gabby is an American motivational speaker, life coach, and author. Her most recent book Super Attractor is a manifesto for making that connection and marrying your spiritual life with your day-to-day experience. We dive into how we can overcome depression, feelings of anxiety, and how to handle postpartum. To connect with Gabby Bernstein click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by THRIVE MARKET. We use Thrive for our online grocery delivery on a weekly basis and we also now get our wine at Thrive! They provide the highest quality products and ingredients delivered straight to our door with unbeatable prices.  Be sure to grab our deal by going to to https://thrivemarket.com/skinny to receive 25% off your first order (Max $20) + free shipping and a 30 day trial. This episode is brought o you by Equal Parts Get into the rhythm of the kitchen, with friendly and inviting cookware, coaching, and guidance from Equal Parts. All with free shipping and free returns. Visit Equalparts.com and get $50 off any cookware kit over $200 with code SKINNY Produced by Dear Media   

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to The Skinny Confidential, him and her.

If we're saying anything that's not aligned with what we're living, then we will feel like a fraud and the audience will recognize that fraudulent energy within us. And the key to confidence is just to tell the truth. I've been telling the truth for 15 years and I don't get scared on stage at all. Hi, hello, happy Tuesday. That clip was from our guest of the show today, Gabby Bernstein. She is major. I'm so excited for this episode. For those of you who are new to the show, I am Lauren Everett, the creator of The Skinny Confidential. And I'm your trusty sidekick. I don't know why I'm saying that. I'm you, you know, I'm your sidekick, Lauren.

I'm your husband. My sidekick right now is the baby. Yeah, that's true. Michael Bostic, guys. Entrepreneur. Recently the CEO of the Dear Media Podcast Network. Sorry, I mean, it's hot in here today. I'm a little bit delirious. I'm in a tank top. Or what did they call this? A wife beater.

You're in a wife beater. I don't think you can use that term anymore. That's what you're in. Well, it's an undershirt. I feel like you're trying to show me your muscles. No, it's hot as hell in here. Something's going on with the AC and the Dear Media studio. You're going to play the old it's hot as hell in here card. I worked out today.

I'm looking really good. I can tell. It's Friday night. I might get frisky. You know what's annoying about you? What's that? Is that you work out once in like three months and you're just back to normal. No, no, no.

See, I have a whole. Taylor, your mic's better be on because I need you to chime in in a minute. But I've had a whole level. I've had a whole, you know, 20, 30 years of training to keep my levels balanced. And so, you know, I might fall off the wagon once in a while, take five, 10 days off, but then I can get it back. It's called muscle memory, Lauren. I'm going to go ahead and call it genetics, Michael. I've had to work hard consistently for 20 years.

You know, a lot of you guys use that cop out genetics thing, but I work my ass off. You know what? I'm just having a bloated roly poly day. I just had in and out and like things things are just like so bloated i have so much water weight right now so we had to do this whole thing i'm sorry for your water weight um i really wish i could take take that on for you i wish you could take it on for me too but so i had um in the office everyone had to do this kind of like hr center around this thing where it's like basically like what's your favorite color do you like your birthday like what are basically like, what's your favorite color? Do you like your birthday?

Like, what are your favorite activities? What's your favorite workout? And everyone responds. And when they do their workout, they're like Pilates, yoga, like strength training, you know, circuit training, whatever it is. Did you say sex? I think that HR would have not liked that. But Taylor's response, I don't know if I told you this.

His response was bench press. Bench press. What the fuck, man? Literally nothing shocks me with at tails you die like nothing surprises me anymore saying bench press i mean that's the thing is he's not even good on the bench press taylor you're not good when have you ever bench press and now his nickname in the office is bench press all the girls in the office are calling him bp well i haven't i haven't bench pressed in a while but like michael is saying don't worry my muscle

memory is so strong that once i get back in the gym, I'm immediately going to be turned right back to a Greek God stat, a Greek goddess or no goddess. Yes. That's, that's definitely an accurate description. Don't even try to edit that out. I've known you since you were literally 12 and I've never seen you bench press. In fact, I'm going to take it way back. I actually have known you since you were seven.

When you were Finn in the nutcracker, you were a ballet dancer, not a bench presser. So I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I had to change, but no, you know that I was looking good. Cause remember I took that photo in your bathroom that one time shirtless. Uh, Oh, Oh, at my house. Yeah. He found good selfie light. So he took a picture of him. Didn't you dislocate your shoulder the last time you did a bench press? No, I've never dislocated my shoulder working out. Just like you've never done a bench press. I know bench press is just a bench press. Calm down back there. Bench press. Remember when you had a rat tail when you were finning the nutcracker?

Yeah. I remember the nutcracker too. And I remember I thought other two people that replaced the two boys that had done it with the year prior was my sister and her best friend. And they wore wigs. We don't need your whole life story. Anyways. Calm down, Finn Benchpress. All right, guys. Gabrielle Bernstein is on the show today.

I am super excited to have her on because we talk a lot about mental health, postpartum and depression. And this is a subject that I really want to keep talking about on the Skinny Confidential. I think mental health is kind of discussed, but I want to go much deeper. So I think having her on today and sharing her story will maybe help someone who's struggling as a new mom or with depression. I know that she made me feel comfortable with the fact that maybe after pregnancy, I could experience different emotions. Yeah. And she gave you the tools that if you do to help combat them. Yeah.

So who is Gabrielle Bernstein? For those of you that have been living under a rock, Gabrielle Bernstein is an American motivational speaker, life coach, and author. Bernstein teaches primarily the next A course in miracles. Her most recent book, Super Attractor Methods for Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams is out now. Guys, check it out. She's amazing. With that, Gabrielle Bernstein, welcome to the Skinny Confidential Him and Her Show. This is the Skinny Confidential Him and Her. So I feel like the audience already knows you.

I mean, everyone's heard of you. I can't tell you how many guests we've had on this podcast that have referred to you as their resource that brings them value. Great. I mean, Sofia Amoroso just shouted you out. I love me some Sofia Amoroso. She's an amazing person. She shouted you out. A lot of women in the office too. Huge fans. Oh, when she was walking by, you could tell, huh? Well, they know. And they told me before, cause I could see the schedule. So they keep my schedule and they know, like they know more about my schedule than I know. But yeah, a lot of really excited listeners and people in the office and us. But just give the spiel that you have to give for the two people that don't know who you are and kind of introduce yourself. Okay.

Thank you. Well, first of all, I got to send your girls some books. We'll get some books over here. So I'm Gabby Bernstein. I am a motivational speaker. I've authored seven self-help books, proud to say. I have been in the field of personal growth and spiritual development for 15 years, I can believe, 14 years, 14 years. I think I refer to myself as a very brave woman who has had the willingness to go to

the places that scare me in order to be a catalyst for change for others and to be an authentic example of how we can be free. When you say you go to the places that scare you, that statement scares me. That gives me anxiety. Can you kind of elaborate on that? My teaching style has always been about being authentic and real. So when I first began as a motivational speaker in 2005, it was right when I got sober. So I've been sober 14 years. And in my sober recovery, I started to reclaim my spiritual faith, which I was brought up very spiritual, visiting ashrams and meditating.

But I turned my back on it in my early 20s and became a cocaine addict and did all the things that would be the opposite of who I am today. At that point, when I got clean, I realized it's my spiritual faith that is going to keep me sober and keep me on the right path. And it was giving me everything I ever desired. So I started to speak very openly and authentically about my recovery, about my spiritual path. And I knew right away that the more honest I was, the more I would be able to help people. So I've been always in a pursuit of feeling more and more

free. I think I've been in pursuit of freedom, freedom from trauma, freedom from fear, freedom from the blocks to the presence of inspiration. So for the past 15 years, I've been a devoted spiritual student, a devoted person in therapy, which is really committed to my own personal growth so that I could live to tell how we can reclaim that freedom. And I believe that you can have a lot of fun along the way in your personal growth journey, and you can have a lot of success along the way. And then I believe that it requires a certain amount of bravery to go to the places that scare us in order to come out the other side. Why did you decide to get sober? Well, I was going to die if I didn't. I also always had this stack of self-help books next to my bed

and this vision of what I knew was true. So I'd be like coming down from drugs and like reading Wayne Dyer, you know? And I knew there was more. And I had a meditation practice from when I was a child, so I would return to it, but I wasn't living it. I was quite the opposite of living it. And my drug addiction brought me down really fast because cocaine is a wicked drug. I was grateful for that. It wasn't like I was just drinking and I could have kept going longer. It was like, no, the coke took me down. And then I hit that bottom. And then I got myself clean and sober through finding my way to recovery program. What was your childhood like? Was it a happy childhood, chaotic? Was it normal? If you had asked me six years ago, I would have said, oh, I had a great childhood and everything was great. And then in 2016, I remembered my childhood trauma,

only to realize that- What do you mean you remembered? This is actually really fascinating because I think a lot of people block childhood trauma and they can't remember. You dissociate from it because particularly when you're a child and your brain literally like is like, I cannot handle this. This is the brain's wise, right? It can take that and compartmentalize and put it somewhere else, but it never goes away because it still lives in your body. In my case, I had fragmented images of what happened and, you know, moments and visuals that were like always there. And when I see them in my mind's eye or in my dreams, but I didn't know what it was, but it manifested in many ways. It manifested in drug addiction.

It manifested in TMJ, gut issues, anxiety disorder, workaholism. I mean, all the things that plagued me. And so I'd been on this major pursuit of healing all these different issues that were plaguing me through my spiritual practice. And then in 2016, what my therapist has explained to me is I became safe enough to remember. And then in 2016, what my therapist has explained to me is I became safe enough to remember. And then in my dream, I had a dream of remembering. Then days later, I had a full remembrance in my therapist's office, thankfully. And for the past four years, I've been really devoted and committed to healing my trauma. Can you talk about the trauma in detail or you want to keep it private for now?

I don't really talk about it in detail, but I will in a book one day. Okay. So you recognize a trauma that you didn't realize you had that you were blocking or compartmentalizing. And how does that manifest when you figure out, holy shit, I've actually had some trauma? You go back into it for a while and you actually feel like you're in it. It's very, very scary. So if anyone's listening and they think they're cracking into anything or they have some memories that are coming up, make sure to get some therapeutic guidance or a support group or a counselor or something, whatever you can get, or no trauma hotline or something like that, because you don't want to do that alone. You go, you know, and a lot of people are triggered all day long into their traumas.

They like are in it and they're out of it and they don't know that that's happening. And I was back in it. I was like dove right into it and was living in it and depressed and down. And that's when I recognized my workaholism, which we can talk about this, because I was so depressed waking up every morning, really feeling like the discomfort of this remembrance. And one day I went upstairs to my office and I sat down and I was so anxious and depressed. And then I put my hands on my computer and I took a deep breath and it was almost like, here is my drug that will help me numb out. And I realized right then and there, I was like, even though I've been clean and sober at that point by 10 years or something, I was like, this is my new drug of choice. Wow. So I have just a selfish question for you.

I can be kind of a workaholic too. and just maybe a hyper-perfectionist. How do you create space and time within that to heal your trauma? Because going to therapy, I'll dabble in and then I'll stop and I'll dabble in and then I'll stop. And I feel like I don't make it a priority. Did you just decide one day I'm going to make this a priority? Does that look like an hour a day? Does it look like an hour a week? What does that look like? Yeah. I mean, sometimes we have to get so uncomfortable that we have no choice but to make that commitment to go to therapy regularly. And for me and my trauma recovery, I was with three

different specialists a week and I had all the resources. And so I took advantage of them. And then I'm going to live to tell what it means to be free so I can help other people that don't have those resources that's my mission right now well you know there's a lot of people we've had on this show and you know say they're going through depression or anxiety and say okay we'll get busy get outside or stuff go to work go to the gym but I feel like that is not getting to the root of the issue you're kind of kicking it down the road that's the answer I want to give you is that the work is to get to the root cause condition and sometimes if you're like I can't find the time, that's just still your resistance to the true recovery. And that's okay. That's where you may be at right now. And that, you know, I think people need to recognize that

you can take healing slowly and that all you really need is the willingness to heal in order to really allow it to come into form. And so just stay willing, don't push yourself. But if you start to feel like, oh, okay, you know, I'm having a baby now. Let me just tell you something. I know. A baby kicks that shit up more than anything in your life. And from the moment that you get pregnant, from the moment you get pregnant, it starts to really show you in your face.

And you have two choices. You know, when you become a mom, you could ignore it and pass it on, right? Or you could face it. And I recommend facing it. I know you will because you're asking about it. I'm already proud of you. And it doesn't mean like you are going to heal yourself in a week, but you just commit to having some guidance. And I really highly recommend having a therapist on a weekly

rotation before you get clean. How do you find the right therapist? So it's like finding the right mate. I think that like finding the right mate and finding the right... I'm a spiritual teacher. So what I believe is that when we stop forcing and controlling and trying to make things happen, that's when we can hear intuition. That's when we can be guided. That's when we can hear that message that somebody says on a podcast, whatever it is. So my recommendation is to start to pray about it

or set intentions. I'm willing to heal and I welcome the therapist of the highest good for me. Just putting it out there in the ether. Put it out there, just start to pray for it. And you just talking to me right now is a prayer because you're opening up about something that you feel you need. And then what I could do later is say, here are some suggestions for therapists. Do you know what

I'm saying? So it's like, the more we become willing, the more we will speak up about it, the more we'll pray about it, and the more we will be guided. How do you do your job so well without taking on everyone's energy that comes at you? Because I'm sure you get a lot of stories and I'm sure you've heard it all. How do you sort of protect yourself, like self-preservation when you're getting all that energy in your space? Before we get into that, I have a hot tip. Now this hot tip has to do with Thrive Market. So my Pilates teacher, Betsy, told me about the greatest hack. Instead of lemon in her water every morning, she's been doing lime juice. Okay. So what she does is she mixes like probably, I want to say four tablespoons of fresh lime juice.

It needs to be plain lime juice with apple cider vinegar and cayenne and water with ice. And it is so good. She's got me hooked on this in the morning. But again, like I said, it has to be specific lime juice. So of course I go on to search the lime juice and guess where I found it? Thrive Market. And you should also know that they have the brand that I want in lemon juice too. So if you're more of a lemon fan, you know, you can just do you here. So it's the Santa Cruz organic pure lemon or lime juice on Thrive Market. It's $6.99. You can use it for so long. It goes in your fridge and you can just pour a little bit in your water every morning. So there's no more cutting up lemons and limes in the morning when you're rushing out the door and you don't have any time. You can just do a splash in your water.

I even feel like Michael's taking notes on this tip because it's a good one. Huh, Michael? I'm going to add it to my main cart because, you know, once a month on Thrive Market, I go in, I log into my account, I hit reorder. I get all my products 25 to 50 percent below retail, as all of you should be doing as well. And boom, straight to my door. Thrive Market, all the best ingredients, all the best products sourced just for you. Like I said, guys, 25 to 50% below retail on all sorts of items, household items, supplements, cleaning supplies, baby supplies, food, meat, wine, cheese, pretty much everything. They got it there on Thrive. And as always,

we have an offer for our listeners that we love so much. 25% off your first order and free shipping when you go to thrivemarket.com slash skinny. Again, that's thrivemarket.com slash skinny for 25% off your first order and free shipping. Be sure to check out Lauren's curated page. You going to add the lime juice on there? Lime juice for sure, guys. And, you know, just have a margarita for me with this lime and lemon juice because that's what I'm doing the second I give birth. I'm going to add this freaking lemon and lime juice to that's what I'm doing the second I give birth. I'm going to add this freaking lemon and lime juice to some tequila.

Holidays are coming up as well. Add a couple bottles of wine and boom, they got everything, guys. ThriveMarket.com slash skinny. Let's get back into the show. I have a lot of rituals, but more importantly, I have a mental choice and decision that I made a long time ago that if I'm going to be getting up on these stages, I can't be expecting myself to save anyone. People say to me, oh, you saved my life. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. I did not save your life. You saved your life. I just told you a story. I just gave you some guidance. So I don't perceive myself as the savior. And therefore I don't have the responsibility to save them. And with that decision, I also unconsciously,

unconsciously make the decision not to take their stuff home with me and to recognize my duty and my responsibility and my part as a teacher and also really identify myself not as the kind of, like the best use of me was not to be in that therapy situation where I was going to get into the weeds with people. The best use of me was to be in front of big groups and audiences and readers to crack them open to the potential of their own spiritual relationship so that they then could be guided to the practitioners and healers that would go deeper. You said you do a lot of rituals. I know Tony Robbins, we watched his documentary, and I'm not comparing you to Tony Robbins because I know you guys are very different, but he does his ice bath and his jumping and his trampoline and his stuff. Do you have stuff like

that before you perform? I would love for you to get specific because that's so much energy to go on stage and perform like that. Much more simple. I don't get energized. I tune in. So I spend about half an hour backstage at least meditating. Just quiet? Yeah. Yeah. I just shut it down. And I call in a guidance of my own understanding to speak through me and recognize that it isn't me, that I'm in collaboration with the messages that are coming through me. And I say, thank you, spirit, for speaking through me and guiding me and giving me the energy. I'm exhausted, but last night I had got up in this big audience and I had to show up. And so I said, I'm going to rely on an energy beyond my own. And I was super

energized on that stage. My daily rituals, you know, I have a major sleep hygiene routine. Can you talk, we love specifics. The more micro, the better. Sleep hygiene. So I'm going to say something that I don't want to, I want to make sure doesn't trigger you and doesn't send you into any stories. And that, you know, that if, you know, anything comes up for you in postpartum, you call me and I'm here for you and you're fine. Okay. How about that? Like, you know, when you in postpartum, you call me and I'm here for you and you're fine. Okay. How about that? When you hear other moms' stories, you start to get nervous and you can sometimes make it- Postpartum does make me nervous. I'm not going to lie. Okay. But don't get nervous because if you notice anything, you have me now and I'm going to give

you my number on speed dial and we can get you sorted right away. So just don't worry about it. Okay. I didn't know anything about it. I didn't have any resources. I couldn't identify it. And that's why I'm here on your show talking about it. Okay. So I'm going to help people save themselves from the drama that I went through. Okay. But I, you know, I had the most beautiful pregnancy and the most beautiful delivery. And then three months into my son being into the world, I started just pay attention to these different, you know, as a couple, just look at these different things that could come up. right? And some of it is that every mom gets anxious and stressed. So that's going to happen, but it's when it's no longer manageable that you might want to start

to look at it. So what does that look like? Well, for me, it began with like overly controlling everything. Like the biggest form for me was insomnia. My child was sleeping through the night and I wasn't sleeping at all for months. And I was trying all the holistic things because here I am, you know, I'd never fulfilled a prescription in my life. I've been homeopathic for 39 years. And so I didn't know anything about meds. I would never even contemplated meds. And I was like, okay, I'm just going to do some, you know, melatonin, or I'm going to take some magnesium. And I was just trying everything, everything. And I wasn't sleeping because I was having panic attacks. And I became agoraphobic. And I was terrified of like, you know, sitting in the front seat of a car.

And I was only in the back seat because I couldn't talk to people. And I'd go to parties and I would cry in the bathroom. I'm the most extroverted human being that you could ever meet. And I was hiding in bathrooms crying. And this never happened or manifested itself before you had the child? In retrospect now, I can recognize that I had an anxiety disorder before, but that it was not this. It was manageable. I lived with it. I meditated through it. It got really, really, really, really, really dark, really, really scary to the point where

on Mother's Day, I said I wanted to kill myself. And had I not prayed and let myself be guided, I wouldn't have allowed myself to go down the road that I needed to go down, which was ultimately getting psychiatric help and going on medication. Because here I was seven months postpartum. No, I was probably five months postpartum. And I was this self-help book author and authored seven books and was probably part of the stigma for a long time. People would come into my audiences with mental health issues and I'd be like, are you meditating? And that's fine and that's an appropriate thing to say, but when people are having a biochemical issue, meditation only work once they get to baseline, once they get to a stable state. And so I was blessed to hit a major bottom and be willing to be guided and was led to the right

psychiatrist and the right medication. And now I'm feeling really great. And on that medication, I got to a safe enough place to do deeper healing. And does your partner help you through this at all? Or understand? He didn't really understand. And he helped me tremendously and he continues to help me, but I got to really honor him for what he went through. It was extremely traumatizing. Here you are, you have this little newborn baby and we had help and plenty of people don't have help while they're going through this. And his wife is losing her mind. And I'd come in the middle of the night, every single night screaming and crying because I was sleeping in a different room. I'd be like, I need help. And I'd be like throwing myself all over the floor

and just like really, I mean, it's making me so sweaty right now just thinking about it. But I'm telling you this and anyone listening and new mamas, don't be scared. Some people get it, some people don't, but the more educated you are about it, well, in my prayer, not get you into a spin about it, but there's help. Go on the medication. Don't fuck with that. You know, you don't try to be the hero. And I was trying to be the hero. I was saying, you know, I don't take meds. Like even my husband was like, she needs medication. My therapist was like intervening. I was like, we need to get her medicated tomorrow. And her tools are no longer working. And that's what

it comes to, people. It's like if you had a heart condition, you would take blood thinners. So why, if you have a mental illness, wouldn't you want to take medication to help yourself? Well, I think about this, I mean, for individuals, but for someone in your profession, in your field of work, you've written all these self-help books, you're inspiring all these people, you're telling all these stories. Do you feel a certain pressure to not let yourself, like you said, you're not taking the medicines, you're being the hero. Do you think the platform that you have also puts an additional pressure on you to hold yourself to that standard, even if it's not a realistic standard? In general, no. In that instance, it was like, whoa, I've never thought of myself of needing medication in this way. And there was a point in time where my team had written this blog for my blog. I have some excellent women

on my team and we wanted to write a blog on anxiety. And two of the women on my team had really severe anxiety. And so I was like, why don't you guys tell your stories? And one of my team members, Katie, who's been with me for a decade, who was like a sister to me, wrote her story and talked about being on Prozac. And I read the part of it and I was like, you know, Katie, like maybe we should leave this out. Like it's going to trigger people. It's going to start a whole conversation. And she called me crying and she was just like, she felt so shamed by me. And I was like justifying it and being like, you know, but it's just going to bring up a whole dialogue. I don't want to start. And then here I was, you know, nine months later calling Katie being like, what's going on with my meds?

Can you help me understand what's happening? And crying to her and saying, I shamed you. I shamed you. I shamed anyone that had mental illness that was on medication. I shamed them just by what I did to her. Unintentionally. A hundred percent. I had no intention of shaming her, but it was, I was part of the stigma. I was like, here I am, this like self-proclaimed self-help author, motivational speaker,

but with zero awareness of what it meant to fully, like I understood addiction and I understood depression, but not to the level of like no longer functioning. But don't you think that this is like a higher calling telling you that you had to go through this so you can have perspective? I've been through some fucked up shit in my life. Okay. And it's okay. I'm cursing here with you.

Oh yeah. In the presence of the baby. Say whatever you want. No, the baby has heard the F word so many times. I know. My 10 month old is starting to like talk and walk and I'm like, oh my God. So I'm just trying to get it out now. I think F words and bad words are part of the stigma too.

Cause I always look at like people's language is just their intention behind it. And like, if I say the F word, it's not to get a point. I'm actually getting really good about saying the F word on all the podcasts so that I don't say it on stage. Okay. Cause sometimes when I'm in the energy of teaching and leading a talk, like it can take people out. Whereas on a podcast, like I probably could take people out too.

So I maybe should just stop altogether, but I just didn it now. Our audience is used to it. Okay. So we'll use the F word here. But what I was saying that it took me to get to a place where I really knew it firsthand and that that was God's work saying, okay, why don't we give Gabby Bernstein postpartum depression so that she can recover and she can talk about it with other people and she can save lives. And so, you know, I'm not saving the lives, but the story is saving lives. And so, and it has, like I've gotten countless DMs from people being like, I've been dealing with this for two years and I'm finally on meds because you said that you were. And I, not that because I said I was, but I gave them permission to ask for more help. And I'm not saying everybody should be on meds, but hell no,

meds are way over prescribed in this country, overly abused. People take medication far too often just to numb out. That's not what I'm suggesting. When you are diagnosed with a biochemical issue, you have to treat it like it would be any condition. A lot of people say they want some music with our reeds. Equal parts, everybody. Equal parts. I've been doing some equal part cooking for mama in the house lately, guys. And I've been using the equal parts prep set. You have been doing some equal part cooking for mama in the house lately guys and i've been using the equal parts prep set you have been doing some cooking he made me tacos on taco tuesday and i got to sit on the couch nice and pregnant feet propped up while i watched housewives you were in the kitchen getting down with equal parts guys equal parts is here to help you get into the flow of home cooking with the inviting cookware and coaching designed to introduce new ideas and keep you engaged in the process of cooking one step at a time.

Their cookware is super high quality, guys. They have coaching from real chefs who are standing by seven days a week to provide one-on-one expertise and insights to every step of the cooking process. This is some you time. Michael has some time in the kitchen while I get to sit back and relax. I am about it. All the Equal Parts cookware is built from high quality, environmentally responsible materials. Allow some time to create, experiment. Guys, just chill out a little bit. I think this is good for like everyone's so

busy and running around like a chicken with their head cut off. I know Michael is and it's a time for him to get in the kitchen, cook me something nice. It's therapeutic. You know, just you and your cookware. You got the methods, the tools, and the support to guide you, babe. Like I said, our favorite thing to cook with equal parts is tacos. We do taco Tuesday, sometimes taco Thursday, if we're being really lazy. And we have all the stuff in the fridge ready to go. We pull it out. Michael cooks the meat. Michael always has to cook the meat. Plus, guys, cooking at home is a great way to save money. Holidays around the corner. Time to tighten up the belt. Time to finish the year strong.

You know, it's a stressful time. And to relieve stress, you want to get in the kitchen, cook, have a little bit of you time. Like I said, guys, Equal Parts. Get into the rhythm of the kitchen with friendly and inviting cookware, coaching and guidance from Equal Parts, all with free shipping and free returns. Visit equalparts.com and get 15% off any purchase with code skinny. That's equalparts.com, enter code skinny. And like I said earlier, try the Your Prep set, very solid price point, a ton of different items in there to get you started. Equalparts.com and then code skinny. You said earlier something about having like a very specific way of sleeping. Oh, that's where I was leading.

Yes. So yes. So once you get on a medicated guidance, then you got to do the work. You can't just take meds and be like, okay, I'm good. You have to do the work. And so I've got an EMDR therapy. I've got a lot of things that I've been doing to really heal myself. But one of them is the sleep hygiene.

And the sleep hygiene is something I would never have contemplated. I was like, I had no sleep hygiene before I had this issue. And now I know about it and now I really care about it. And so what I do is I turn off all of my devices two hours before I go to bed. Smart. See, Michael? We've been doing that better. That's one thing, you know, and I actually put my phone, Ariana Huffington gave me this little silk, this bed with a silk mattress for the phone. It has a charging station. So I tuck my phone into bed and I put it in another room. Thank you, Ariana.

And then I turned off my devices. I, for a while, I wasn't even reading in bed because that was like, my shrink was like, bed is for sleep and sex and that's it. And so I was like, not even sleep. I don't know that I'm reading there, but now I'm feeling safe enough to like read a few pages. And it's always a spiritual book. It's never something that's going to take me out or stimulate me. It's like, you know, just Wayne Dyer or, you know, Esther Hicks or something that's going to make me feel good. And then I always have a wind down

routine of some kind. Like I'm very into sauna. So I'll take a sauna at night or I'll do like a bath with like maybe like a CBD bath. Michael wants to know what sauna you have in your house. I can already tell. I have the infrared sunlight and sauna. Yeah. I think that's what I want to get one of those. Yeah. He talks about that a lot. I blogged about it. You can read about my experience with it. It was really good. I love me a sauna. So you do a sauna, a bath, something that's warm. Yeah. I meditate up in my office, not in my bed. Why? Well, once again- Go back to sleep. Yeah. That's what happens. The bed's where. Yeah. I meditate up in my office, not in my bed. Why? Well, once again- Go back to sleep.

Yeah. That's what happens. The bed's where you sleep. Huh. So when you wake up and you meditate, I don't know if you meditate in the morning. I do meditate in the morning, but in my office. So I wake up, I say a prayer, maybe I take some breaths, whatever. Then I go downstairs and my husband and I, you know, give the baby a bottle.

He'll give the baby a bottle while I meditate in my office. And then I'll go down and I'll feed the baby breakfast before his nanny comes. And then, then we go to work. So it's a, we switch off. And you're working a lot. I mean, I don't want to say you're working smart. I'm what I'm going to say. You said on a podcast that you work for three hours and you get more done in those three hours than a normal person would get done in three days. And I want to know, like I said, I'm so specific, how you do that. Like what are the tools and the tactics and the habits that you use? I work with God. God is my employer. I let energy of inspiration move through me. So I can just, it's like, you know, that's how I've been able to author seven books in eight years because I'm not just letting, allowing myself to co-create.

But my team is funny. They call it, they have to work at the speed of Gabby because I move fast. It's also part of my nature, but I'm also like a little bit of ADD and that's been a great benefit to me because I can multitask like nobody's business. But then I have to also use it in a different way where I have to shut everything down in order to write or to do something. But yeah, I'm very deeply inspired by the work I do. I know it's serving and healing. So there's no limit to the amount of ideas and content that I can give to the world. And there's an unlimited amount of time I feel often.

And so I just never feel... It's when I'm getting too in the weeds of the things that are not my highest and best. Yes, maybe I'm good at carrying a marketing message because it's my work and I'm good at marketing, but that's not my highest and best. Like I'm here to be a teacher. So if I were to get in the weeds with the marketing or like the subject lines or like, you know, whatever, right. And it's not that I'm totally dissociated from that because I am, my face is on the book, but I have had to hire a team that is maybe not as good as me at that, but they're good enough or in some cases better so that I'm only doing the things that are of my highest and good and highest and best. Because then I can dabble into those other areas and do it with joy.

But for a long time, I still was doing everything even very fast, way more. But yeah, the amount of work I could do in one hour is more than somebody would do in a day. Well, there's a lot of people listening and I think, and this may be counterintuitive, but I of work I could do in one hour is more than somebody would do in a day. Well, you know, there's a lot of people listening. And I think this may be counterintuitive, but I always say you could be one of these people. You say you're really into entrepreneurship. You want to learn how to be an entrepreneur. And you read every single book over and over and over. And what happens is you're just like constantly learning, which is great.

Like you want to be someone that's, you know, trying to be better. But I feel like sometimes people get so stuck in this learning habit where they don't take action. I got to read the next book. I got to figure out the next thing. Do you think that happens in the self-help world? But I feel like sometimes people get so stuck in this learning habit where they don't take action. I got to read the next book. I got to figure out the next thing. Do you think that happens in the self-help world? It's like I got to read 50 self-help books before I can start actually working on myself and taking action. Business too, though.

Not just self-help. Business too. I'm not going to take the leap until I read this book. I call them the forever students. They're the forever students that never actually start doing the work. The practice is the practice as another form of addiction. Like I can do this over taking care of my life, right? Because if they aren't taking action, it's because in some way they don't believe they're worthy of the action that they want to take. And so they're just using the tools and the methods and the books as another form of addiction to avoid showing up for themselves

fully and completely. So what advice would you tell them? Well, I would say you're avoiding something. And the bigger work, if you want to really see the successes and the happiness and the joy and the baby and whatever it is you want to call into your life is to have the bravery and the willingness to look at the energetic disturbances that live beneath the pattern of avoidance. I want you to talk about a little bit too. It sounds like to get pregnant, you had to heal yourself. Yes. Can you talk about that? So there's something really important that I write about in my book, Super Attractor, is all about how we think that we want things on our time, but that the universe has a way better timeline than we do. So in the case of my son, I talked very publicly for a long time about how I struggled

to conceive. And it was, while it was like a really difficult thing, it was also a really beautiful time because I had a lot of wild synchronicities and a lot of support along the way. And I really let that support guide me. And it was also in the time that I was really deep in my trauma healing. So I decided about a year and a half or two was also in the time that I was really deep in my trauma healing. So I decided about a year and a half or two years into trying to conceive that I wasn't going to go down the road of depression. I can't do this. I'm not good enough. But I was going to go down to the road of what's thriving in my life and lean into more of that. And so I focused on my own personal growth and well-being and recovery. And as I started to feel better and feel better

and feel better, I was getting closer and closer to my son. There's a good story from the book I could share with you about how we can really know when the universe has our back and know when we're being guided. Please do. Okay. So around the fall of 2017 was when I started to notice a lot of the synchronicity around trying to conceive or consciously conceiving, as we can say. And I drive around in the countryside, which is I live most of the time in the country. And so I drive around the countryside and it's like, there's the most epic foliage where I live. It's really, really gorgeous foliage. And so I'm driving, I'm driving and I'm looking at the foliage and I'm listening to my mantra music and I'm feeling like really lit up, really inspired, really excited, really just pumped to be

in this car driving around. At which point I feel the presence of a baby behind me. I feel this baby's presence in the back seat of the car. And I felt it and I let it in. I like tears were rolling down my eyes. And then very quickly I heard the voice of my intuition say, the baby's coming in March. And so I'm like, March. Okay. March, March, March. And I got started getting really excited about March. I started doing the math. I was like, I'd have to conceive now. And I started getting really into it. And I noticed my ego getting into it, like the timing. So I said, okay, universe, I'm going to let this go. If this is meant to be, show me a sign that

this is indeed the path. The baby's coming in March. Show me the sign of lilies. And so I was like, okay, I let it go. And a week later, I get this letter in the mail from someone who sent me this prayer card. And on the prayer card was an image of Archangel Gabriel. And Archangel Gabriel is often depicted holding lilies. And in this case, he was. And on the back of the card, the guy said to me, I don't know why, Gabby, but I thought you needed this. I did. Then early March rolls around and I wasn't pregnant. So I was just bummed. I was devastated. I was just like, here I am again. It's not working. I'm not getting this thing. There's something wrong with my body. And I went into my husband's office and I just cried on his lap and just let it out.

And then all of a sudden my phone was just like right like this on the desk. My phone started ringing, like playing a song, just playing a random song that I'd never heard before. And so I go look closer at the song and the musician kept repeating over and over this lyric, way go Lily, way go Lily. And he kept repeating it repeating it and i looked closer and the title of the song was called way go lily and then i looked even closer and the album title was i see the sign wow can't make it up so when did you end up conceiving get this so then i was overwhelmed with the guidance overwhelmed with the joy and the receptivity and just so relaxed. And I said, okay, universe, I know you've got my back. I know you're

guiding me. I let this go. I let go of the time. Just show me what's up. And then I got pregnant in April. And I was like, let me do the math. I conceived the last day of March. Oh yeah. Cause it's like a two week thing, right? Wow. Wow. That's pretty special. No book is filled with those stories. All of them. There's so many. Oh my God. We all start to live like that. That guidance is available to all of us when we let it in. That's a great story. What is special? You have to tell your son that story or he'll have to read it. I dedicated the book to him, so he'll read it one day. What kind of partner do you have? Because I feel like you have such an energy and you have so much strength and warmth. The partner that you have is probably someone who is pretty fucking special. Very. So like, can you talk about

that? Where'd you guys meet? How long ago? We met 13 years ago and we've been married for, we just celebrated our anniversary. So we got married in on a 10, 12, 13 ago and we've been married for, we just celebrated our anniversary. So we got married on a 10, 12, 13. So we've just celebrated an anniversary three days ago. And my husband is kind of the opposite of me, but that's why it works. 100%. 100%. He has no interest in being Gabby Bernstein. So therefore he can hold me in

the greatness of who I can be in the world because he's not challenged by that or threatened by that. In fact, he's lit up by that, maybe even turned on by that, right? And so when I have... And my husband formerly worked in finance for a decade at JP Morgan in the same private equity group, and then retired six years ago to run our business, to be the COO of our business. And he's also an attorney. So that's really helpful. And I wish for every entrepreneur to have a Zach because, I mean, he's a genius. He's a freaking genius. And he knows about everything and he's excellent at business, but he also is excellent at tech and he's also excellent at art. So when we're creating and designing things, he's there. When we're doing tech things, he's there. And he also believes

in the content. So he edits all of my books. Not me, I have other editors, but he does the third round of every single book, maybe three out of my seven books he's done. And he's really into fashion, like Rick Owens, head to toe and like, you know, high tops and drop crotch pants and like doesn't give an F, right? And he's really into music and he plays the bass and he's just this amazing man. But working together has given us, and I hope this is the case for you and I can already tell it is, but it brought us a lot closer. And it gave us- It's a dance. It takes a while to figure that, but yes, 100%. Took me about a year to surrender to like, because I'd been running my business for,

I've been in business for myself for 20 years, you know? So by the time he came in, it had been 15 years. I only knew me, you know, but I needed him so badly. And it took me a minute to really like let go of the rope. But once I did, it was like, thank the Lord. And he has given me the freedom to be untethered and to just be a force of light and not have to worry about, you know, how am I paying my, my, like what's happening with my taxes, you know? And yes, you can hire people for that, but it's a big blessing to have your partner be that person. You and Zach sound like you'd get along. Well, listen, I think if you can find... You would like Zach.

I'm sure. I think if you can find... And Rick Owens is amazing. He does, I don't look good in a drop crotch because I don't have the height. He's got the height. He's like 6'4". Yeah, for me, it just looks like I shit myself

and it's too low to the ground. Your balls are hanging too low. No, I got a friend, Weston. He's like 6'3", my best friend. You got to be like thin-ish and like over 6'3". You're not the person for a drop. But Rick isn't that tall, so he rocks it. But he's Rick.

He's Rick, yeah. He's designing for himself. Zach loves him from somewhere. I would love a drop crotch to be able to pull Rick Owens, but I don't think I would be able to. Yeah, but you got good style. I want to know how you wrote seven books. Is there a time in the day that you write, like what's the strategy and the tools that you use to write seven books? Because that's a lot of books. Yeah. Many of my books I wrote on the plane of book tours that I was on the previous

book, but I never felt like workaholism. I never saw it as workaholism because I was doing something good. So that's something to be really conscious of. It's like when we think we're doing good in the world, like it's not workaholism, but it can still be very workaholic, right? Nonetheless, I've written all these books and it was no accident. Thank God I was a workaholic because I've helped a lot of lives as a result of getting those books out. But now I'm in a place where like I'm doing it with ease. I always make sure I have a very clear outline because like anything you need to know where you're going, right? So like whenever I speak, I have a really clear outline and then I let it go. And the same with a talk, with a book, I have a really clear outline and then I riff between the lines. And so as long as I know what

I'm trying to say and I have an outline for that chapter, I can really tell the stories and I can really let it out in a very organized but free way. What I also do is I speak a lot publicly. So speaking a lot gives me a lot of content. I experience a lot of people's stories. I experience a lot of my own personal stories. I also am living a spiritual life and a devotion to freedom in my own life. And so I'm constantly in the pursuit of feeling good. And in that mission, I continue to experience more freedom and more breakthroughs that I can then turn into methods that I teach. I have a selfish question here. My biggest fear, and I've talked about this on the show before, used to be public speaking. And I've done a lot of wild shit in my life, but public speaking,

for whatever reason, crippled me. I think like, oh, what if one day I have to speak at a wedding? What if, God forbid, someone dies? I have to speak at their funeral? Some of people's biggest fear, yeah. Now you don't shut up. Now you can't shut me up. But there's a lot of people that still have this. And so I think through practice, I've gotten better. But still, if I of people that are, that still have this. And so I think through practice, I've gotten better, but still, if I go on stage and wear and speak, it's still, they get the butterflies and get nervous for young people or any, actually any people that are thinking about

speaking and want to get more into it. Like what advice do you have to kind of conquer that and be confident on stage, be confident speaking publicly and really articulate? Cause I think a lot of people get so nervous, they can't articulate their message. And it may be an amazing message, you just can't get it out. Some practical and some spiritual. So the practical is just like I said, create a really clear outline and know where you're going. And then once you kind of master that outline, you can be free. You can let yourself be free. The most important thing though is not the outline. It's true confidence comes when we're authentic. If we're saying anything that's not aligned with what we're living, then we will feel like a fraud and the

audience will recognize that fraudulent energy within us. And the key to confidence is just to tell the truth. I've been telling the truth for 15 years and I don't get scared on stage at all. That's also my art. You know, everybody has an art and a form where they feel they flow. And for me, it's speaking. You know, it's funny because you get these people that like, it's like a 20 year old life course is going to teach you about how stock investing. It's like, eh, like maybe you shouldn't do that. And I think so many young people make this mistake. They think they have to be the next Gabrielle Bernstein, right? They have to do what you're doing and they try to emulate that. And it's like, that's maybe not authentic to them.

So I think a lot of people should just hear that message. I'm glad you said it because you literally cannot be effective telling inauthentic stories. It doesn't work for long. No, it doesn't work ever. If you tell an inauthentic story, people will feel so uncomfortable in the presence of that because they're going to feel your shame and discomfort. And so we as speakers are translators, we're transmuters. What I believe a great speaker is, is someone that can walk on the stage and have an impact on someone, even if they don't open their mouth. It's not your words, it's your presence that heals. I heard that Wayne Dyer was like a huge fan of yours. He still is. That's got to be kind of I have a deeper, I said to Wayne,

Wayne had one assistant in his career and her name is Maya. The same one. The only one. Wow. Wow. And he also had Reed Tracy, the CEO of Hay House, who was his champion and really major role in his life as well. But his one assistant, Maya, I saw her at this Hay House event in Houston two weeks ago and I pulled her aside and I said, Maya, you know, Wayne is helping me more now in the spirit form than he did even when he was alive, because he can be everywhere now. But Wayne's energy is available to all of us if we are in the pursuit of good and if we are asking for his help. What's the best place to start with his, if you were to pick one, if someone's not familiar

with his work. I think that his six spiritual tools for manifesting is, I think I'm messing up the title a little bit, but that's a big one. I love the erroneous zones, which was one of his first books or if his first book, oh my God, they're all so good. What do you listen to for inspiration? Like what is on your podcast and audible and it's so cliche, but like Byron Katie and Brene Brown and Deepak and Wayne, I listened to Wayne

a lot because I want to hear him and I want to be, I want to feel him. I listened to you guys. I listened to, I listened to business podcasts. I listened to, you know, sometimes I listened to NPR and sometimes I listened to the NPR politics hour. And then I like want to, you know, sometimes I listen to NPR and sometimes I listen to the NPR politics hour. And then I like want to, you know, throw up. And so I turn it off. There's so many good podcasts now. So many, so many. I think there've been a lot for a long time, but just nobody was talking about them. This is what we were talking before you came in. We're like, finally, people are respecting this medium a little bit more and realize there's a lot of good content. You're right. There's been going on for a while. You save people time. I mean,

people want their time back and podcasts is the only medium that saves you time. My audio books have sold more than my hardcover in the last two weeks. I was just going to ask you that. I was, cause, cause that's how I downloaded your book on, on, because I'm driving in the car and you can hear it. It's something, it's more intimate. Audible is like, Audible is just like slaying, you know? So anyone that doesn't say they don't have time to read, go download an Audible. But you know, there's this book by Peter Drucker and he was obviously a management guy, but he wrote a book called Managing Oneself. And in that there's a section that says like to figure out what type of learner you are and said, most people are either a listening learner or a reading

learner. It's rare that they're both. And actually both. So yeah, it's rare, but it is. But so the example he gives is President Eisenhower at the time he was general during World War II first. And when he would have his generals basically give him his debrief and come around the table and talk about what was going on during the war, he'd be like, okay, perfect, got everything, would be able to go out and give great speeches and really formulate a strategy to go. And obviously we won, obviously they won, we won the war, but then when he became president, his briefings were all by written, right? So you had to read them and he became a terrible public speaker and couldn't do it. It's because he was a listening learner, not a reading. I'm for sure a reading and I have really difficult time. This

is a really long answer, really difficult time to go around. And no, and like, if I listened to your audio book, I'm not going to get nearly the benefit if I actually go and read your book. I just, I can't process it as well. Yeah. It's interesting. I think I'm both. Some people are, it's very, it's very rare. So what can someone expect from your book? They can expect to feel good. Feel good. Super attractor. Let's dive into it. So it's for everyone, would you say? Is it for a certain audience? It's for anyone that is willing to feel good, willing to be open to a spiritual conversation. Because if you're totally disinterested in spirituality, then this is not your book at all. And how do you define spirituality? Is this like a religion or is it just being... No, totally non-denominational.

What I teach, I don't teach anybody this is what higher power means to you. I'm really there to just crack people open to identifying what that presence of spirit or inspiration or God or angels or whatever is in their own life. What does it mean to them? So I'm there to crack it open. I'm telling my own stories, personal experiences, experiences of others to give people a power of example of what this could be for them. And I know that if anyone's guided to my book or even guided to listening to this podcast and you don't identify as spiritual, but you're still

listening, then you could probably read the book. Right? So the book is, I started writing this book because I wanted to feel good and it made me feel really good to write it. And it's, you know, the subtitle is Methods for Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams. Yes, that is the truth. It's a strong subtitle. And I can fully stand behind it. But really what it is, is a book on how to feel good. And when you feel good, you become a super attractor. When you make feeling good your priority, and that doesn't mean you feel good all the time, but it means that you have the tools to come out of darkness, that you have the tools to get back into feeling good,

and that you make it a priority. And when you make feeling good your priority, then you're a super attractor because you are conscious of your energy and you're no longer leaking. You're no longer blocking. You're no longer just so stuck and caught up in the negative that you're really allowing. And it's working because I'm getting, I was just at lunch just now and a girl comes up to me and she's like, holy crap, I can't believe you're here. I'm listening to Supertructure and I just told my friend just this minute to download it and it's making me feel so good. And I said, great, I've done my job. Out of all your books, if someone isn't familiar with your work, would you tell them to start with this one or is there another one you would tell them to read?

I would tell them to start with this one definitely or The Universe Has Your Back. Okay. Or both at the same time because they're actually really go well together i think i like reading a couple different books at once because i like to jump around i would actually say like read one and read the other in this case because there's you can also read universe and then read super attractor which might be an interesting path well it's sad i mean it's somewhat sad to say but it's true when you're in a bad place and you're in a negative space and you're angry or depressed or upset, it does the opposite of attract. It pushes people away. And, you know, like we all have that friend that every time you go around, like you love the person, but it's just like so negative. And you just don't

want to be sucked into it selfishly. You want to help, but you can't. And I think if more people knew if you're pleasant to be around and you're happy and it just attracts so much more abundance to your life. 100%. Like, you know, yesterday I had a real moment of using my tools. I was sitting backstage right before my talk and I was just like talking to my husband. I'm like, I've had like back-to-back press and I've like, you know, haven't really like been sleeping well because I was on East Coast time and my son's with us, but we have help. So I'm very, very relieved that I feel like I can, you know, he's actually more elevating to me because of the dynamic that we've set up, but it's not like draining at all, but I've got a responsibility. I have a child, you know, and I'm on, you know, running, running, running, and then doing a talk and then doing more all

these podcasts today. And then Thursday flying to San Francisco and giving a talk that night. And so it's just like a lot. And then, and I was like kind of bitching about it to Zach and he's like, Whoa, slow your roll. It's like, let's like take a minute and celebrate the fact that there's so much abundance and there's so much, so much support of this message. And there's 1500 people out there waiting to hear you talk about whatever the F you wanna talk about because they believe in you. And I mean, he just did exactly what I talked about

in the book was that he helped me choose again. And I'll teach the method to you guys. And we just kept reaching and reaching and reaching for the next best feeling thought. And I've been in that all day. So while I'm exhausted, I'm so psyched to be here. And it's giving me more energy to just be, or even if I'm tired, I can be tired and still present and having fun because the decision I've made is not to bitch about all the things I have to do,

but instead to celebrate the awesomeness of what all this is. So we have two choices in any situation. Yeah. My dad will just say like, cry and you cry alone, smile and the world smiles with you. And it's just, it's true. Right on. You said there's a method. So this is the choose again method. Ready? Okay. Here we go. And this is in the book? Yes. It's all throughout the book. It's a big one. So the first step is to, you both leaned back, took a drink, ready to go. Let's mentally prepare. So I, so the first step is to recognize the fear-based thought or the negative thought and how it's making you feel. So let's give my example of last night. Zach helped me see that my negative thoughts about my energy levels and how much I had to do were by no means going

to support me, right? And it wasn't feeling good to think that way. Step one. So notice the thought and notice how it makes you feel. Step two is to forgive yourself for having the thought. Because often when we're stuck in that loop of that fear based thought, we believe we are the thought. We believe I don't have enough time. I'm not good enough. I'm not whatever the thought is. So when you forgive the thought or forgive yourself for having the thought, you dissolve it, you clear it. So then I forgave myself for having that thought. I said, oh, there it is again. I want to complain about something that's amazing. So then I forgave myself for having that thought. I said, oh, there it is again. I want to complain about something that's amazing. And so I forgave myself for going there.

Because if I wasn't able to forgive myself for going there, I would actually be judging myself for having gone there. Does that make sense? The third step is to choose again. And that's just simply reaching for the next best feeling thought and proactively reaching and reaching and reaching and guiding yourself out of that fear-based vibe into, and that negative vibe into the next best feeling. And in this case, the next best feeling was Zach reminding me that it's a privilege to go have 1500 people want to see me speak and have, you know, a thousand people want to have a book

signed and that that's a privilege, not a chore. And that, that it's, you know, a privilege to be asked to be on a podcast like this and to be able to sit here with you and share my message and have you spread it so far and wide and to show up for that even if I'm tired and I have a thousand things to do today, but it's a privilege, right? And so I kept getting into that and into that. And I woke up this morning and I was like, I had a pretty good night's sleep and I'm going to get my makeup done and I'm going to go have fun doing all these different things. And I just celebrated it rather than let it be as something that I'm going to get my makeup done and I'm going to go have fun doing all these different things. And I just celebrated it rather than let it be as something that I was going to detour into negativity and fear. And that's an easy example. Like, how do you do that? Someone's out there,

like, I'm depressed, I'm broke. How do I do that? Well, I was doing it at my darkest moment with the postpartum. I would wake up in the morning and I'd say, I slept a little bit 15 minutes today, and that was better than last night. And I'm not kidding. But I'm not trying to scare you. Don't let me scare you. If I sleep 15 minutes, I may murder my husband. Yeah. No, I almost murdered. Thinking about going to that scary place. Yeah. Me thinking about walking into the bedroom. If my wife's only got 15 minutes is a very scary place. No wonder you were feeling so horrible to 15 minutes of sleep. Like that's torture is nothing, but don't let that scare you. Cause there's total help. No, but it's good to know because if I start feeling like that, anyone out there who's listening starts feeling like

that, you know, to identify it, go to your OBGYN, go to your therapist, go get help immediately. Your OBGYN is trained to and can prescribe meds. I would highly recommend that if you have the resources to get a psychiatrist to help you with medication, because you'll get more attention and guidance. But of course, if you can't afford that, your OBGYN can get you on that path and they can help you with it. Okay. So you're all hooked up. Everybody out there is hooked up. Okay. Oh my God. 15 minutes. Not everybody out there is hooked up because some people don't have insurance and they don't. So, you know, in that instance, if you're dealing with postpartum, visit Postpartum International and they, there's help. I think that you really needed to hear her

message today because you woke up grumpy. No, I will take full accountability. You could have chosen a different path. Well, he can do it right now. Yeah. Let's start there. So like you already done it because you wouldn't be like as lovely as you are right now if you hadn't chosen again in some way. I like being called lovely. But even right now, like let's say you're carrying that negativity from the morning into the afternoon. In that moment, you can choose again. Like it's like, oh, my day's screwed.

I have to start. Like in that moment, you can pivot. And at any moment that you notice your misalignment, you can get back in it. That's what this whole book is about. I shook it off. I was not behaving this way. I was not in a good place. No, you should look at your problem as a privilege, not a chore. No, I take full accountability. I was like, why have I, you know, it was just one of those mornings. Privilege, not a chore. That's my new thing when he acts up. And I act up too. So I'm going to take accountability. I think everybody does. But I mean, listen, like you said, correct the course quickly, you know, look inward a little

bit. Well, I know that I, I mean, I've consumed your content, but I'm going to just consume your content even more. Cause I think that just meeting you in person, it's just like magical. Thank you so much for coming on. Where can everyone find your book, pimp yourself out, your podcast, your Instagram, everything. Everything's at GabbyBernstein.com and or at Gabby Bernstein. And yeah, it's all there. Lots of free resources. The audio book introduction to the book is there for free. There's just a lot of love. So GabbyBernstein.com. And I think if you guys are listening to this podcast and, and you fall in love with you, I think the Audible book is a good way

to go to Audible. I put my ear pods in or air pods in. And when I'm walking through the airport, going through security, whatever, it's so efficient. And you're just learning while you're on the go. And I read the book. So it's nice because it's important to have the author read the book. Yeah. It's kind of weird when you have that kind of like robotic, weird voice. It's OK if somebody did that. No judgment. Yeah, but I like that you read the book. That's better, I think. I like reading it.

Yeah. An Instagram you send? At Gabby Bernstein. Perfect. Listen, with your pace of work, I'm sure we'll be here again in a year. Anytime you, yeah. I mean, are you going to have a book in six months? You're writing the book right now, probably.

I'm writing another book right now. Oh my God. Yeah. It's called A Way Through Every Block. Oh my God. So far, that's the working title. I believe it's going to be called that, but we'll see you next year. I'll be here. We'll talk about it. Anytime you want to come on, come on. I love you guys. Yeah. I'm giving you my number. I'm your mom. I'm your mama guide. I would love your number to text you if I have to deal with 15 minutes of sleep.

No, but text me for anything. Well, and honestly, thank you for coming and talking about it because there's something that I, I mean, I think a lot of men don't know about postpartum. It's no, listen, no one talks about the men and their experience. Not that I'm, you know, but I just, I don't know what to recognize. It's actually like, I think had my husband been more educated about it and knew more about it, he would have helped. He probably would have diagnosed it. Like he would have been like, Oh, this is happening. But neither of us knew enough about it. And that's why I'm talking about it. Not to scare mamas, but to be just like, you know, knowledge is power and see something up, you can get help. There's a lot of guys like probably like, Hey, calm down. You're being crazy. And that's not the right way to do it. Exactly. Exactly. Not calm down. You're being

crazy. Now that I know, and I've had this conversation, and then for the men out there listening, watch out for your women, watch their behavior. And if you notice something, you know, bring it up in the OBGYN appointment with them. Right. Smart. Thank you for coming on. Thank you so much. You're amazing. Love you guys. Congratulations. Thank you. I hope you guys loved that show as much as I did. I want Gabby back on ASAP. She is incredible. I like went on and consumed all her content on her highlights and she just sucks you in. A quick giveaway, as always at the end of this show, tell us your favorite part of this episode for a chance to win three very TSC skin goodies. We'll drop into one of your DMs and send you something. All you have to do is tell us your

favorite part of this episode on my latest Instagram at the skinny confidential. And of course, make sure you're following at TSC podcast for updates. There's a lot of fun happening over there and get excited because we have another episode coming at you on Friday. See you next time. This episode was brought to you by Thrive Market. Thrive Market is your one-stop shop for high-end, high-quality, See you next time. and free shipping. Again, that's thrivemarket.com slash skinny for 25% off your first order and free shipping. When you do that, you'll also be taking the Lawrence page so you see everything she just talked about.