The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Good Moms Bad Choices - Sex, Parenting Advice For New Mothers, & How To Disregard The Judgements Of Others

Episode Date: October 21, 2021

#402: If Oprah and Howard Stern had a baby it would be Good Moms Bad Choices. Meet Erica and Milah, two uncensored and outspoken sex and cannabis-positive parents who are redefining what modern motherhood looks like and breaking life's archaic stereotypes. The duo join the show today to discuss parenting advice, sex, judgement around new mothers, and how to disregard judgement from others.  To check out Good Moms Bad Choices click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) Check Out Lauryn's NEW BOOK, Get The Fuck Out Of The Sun HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential  The Hot Mess Ice Roller is here to help you contour, tighten, and de-puff your facial skin and It's paired alongside the Ice Queen Facial Oil which is packed with anti-oxidants that penetrates quickly to help hydrate, firm, and reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, leaving skin soft and supple. To check them out visit www.shopskinnyconfidential.com now.  This episode is brought to you by Versed. Versed is the non-toxic, cruelty-free, and vegan skincare brand that’s hyper-focused on bringing you real results at prices your bank account appreciates. Their products are made with proven ingredients at skin-changing levels, without the fussy packaging and conventional markups. You only pay for what matters—the goop inside the bottle Get 10% off for first time users when you shop at versedskin.com with promo code SKINNY This episode is brought to you by Coinbase Crypto currency might feel like a secret or exclusive club, but Coinbase believes that everyone, everywhere should be able to get in the door. Whether you’ve been trading for years or just getting started, Coinbase can help. For a limited time new users can get $10 in free Bitcoin when you sign up today at www.coinbase.com/skinny  This episode is brought to you by ARRAE Arrae was created to help women feel the best so they can be their best, through targeted products which are 100% natural, filler-free, organic, and formulated by a Naturopathic Doctor. For 10% off, go to arrae.com and use code ‘tsc’ at checkout. This episode is brought to you by House Of Wise.  House of Wise launched last year in the pandemic by a single mom looking to help her friends drink less, sleep better, have better sex and make the most out of their workouts while juggling the demands of being a woman.  House of Wise is helping women take control of their sleep, sex, stress and strength through originally formulated and effective CBD products. Go to www.houseofwise.co and use promo code SKINNY to get 20% off your first SLEEP, SEX, or STRENGTH product.  Produced by Dear Media 

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to The Skinny Confidential, him and her.

I mean, I've actually made bad choices as well. You know, I think like the whole process of like the podcast and just that word is like you make bad choices that you can learn from them, right? Like this podcast has made me have to be accountable for my actions because I'm talking about them on a weekly basis. I think it's just about promoting that whatever is typically maybe publicly a bad choice and people are like hesitant to talk about like smoking weed or whatever you do, like that's your choice and you have to evaluate if it's bad or good.

Hello, cats and kittens. What's up? Cats and kittens? Cats and kittens. Isn't that what the Tiger King one is? Hello, cool. I don't know. I'm going to fuck it up. I don't know. Your muscles are so big. I don't even know what to look at. Well, my muscles, I guess. They're popping out of your shirt. 70 days, no drinking. Yes. We talk about that in this episode. 70 days, no drinking. I think we're on day 50 today.

Yeah, I mean, I don't even think about it now anymore. I'm just living my best life. Your muscles are popping, popping, popping. Michael's one of those people that works out once and he's just right back to being puffed up like a puffin. It's all about consistency, Lauren. Okay, whatever you want to say. Today will be fun, especially if you're a mom,

because we have Erica and Mila, two uncensored and outspoken sex and cannabis positive parents who are redefining what modern motherhood looks like. I love these two women. They are so inspiring. They're breaking barriers. I love people who have avant-garde, fresh opinions, and that is Erica and Mila. You guys are going to love them. They have this podcast called Good Moms, Bad Choices. I was actually on it. I think it is up right now. So much fun. And personally, I struggled so bad with postpartum depression and a little bit of postpartum anxiety that to have moms on that open up like them was really, really helpful. It was very relatable and I felt like I could talk to them about anything. Sometimes the mom space can be a little judgy, if you know what I mean, Michael.

You don't say. It could be a little too much for me. You know what I mean? Like the mom group thing was overwhelming. I felt like it was like everyone was comparing which Dock-a-Tot they were using. And I just, I couldn't give a fuck about that, you know? So to talk to two moms who really laid it on the table and opened up about everything was very, very fucking refreshing. With that, if Oprah and Howard Stern had a baby, it would be good moms, bad choices. Let's meet Erica and Mila. This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her. Okay. I have to ask you guys this. Because you created this podcast out of necessity to make people feel like they're

not alone. When's a time that you can remember that you each felt alone when you were a mom? Because you each have six-year-olds. So I'm sure there's been many times. I would say I still feel alone sometimes. I don't think that there's this super cure for not feeling alone. I mean, I think with our community, we've built a tribe, but motherhood is, and especially single motherhood can feel very lonely even when you're alone in those moments and no one can help you. Like when your daughter's having a fit for no goddamn reason and no one can help you except God and just patience. But I would say like the biggest moment of me really feeling alone was before the podcast. And that's kind of why we created it is because I didn't have any mom friends, not one single one. I was the first of all my friends

to have kids and I didn't know how I was going to manage and how I was going to do it. And so when I found Jamila, I was just like, I was so desperate. Like our love story and how we met was out of pure desperation. This podcast kind of started out of pure desperation, to be honest. So yeah. Yeah. I would have to say the loneliest I felt in motherhood is I think the adjustment period, like right after you give birth

and like those first couple of months, you're like, oh my God, what have I done? You know, like, oh no, like it's cute, but it's forever. And like having to navigate, like feeling like I'm a mother now, so I'm not who I used to be. And I can't do the things I used to do. And like, who am I supposed to be now? And who am I supposed to hang out with? And, and I guess just like the daunting feeling of like having to do everything alone. Like there are times, I mean, obviously Erica is my wife. We're platonic wives and business partners, just like you guys, but we don't have sex. But I think it's just like those times when you're like, damn, like I have to wash clothes. Does she pee the bed again? I have to wash the comforter again. I have to make dinner. I have

to do this after that. And like, that feels lonely sometimes as a single mom. But like, since we've started the podcast, I do, I don't really feel lonely. I feel like, especially we're lucky we have kids the same age. So when things come up, I'm like, is this going on over there? Like, you know what i mean we we can like kind of hit milestones together at the same time but for sure our friendship and this podcast stemmed out of like the shock factor of giving birth and being like oh we're the only people in our circle that don't have kids we stalked each other on the internet first unknowingly and then erica stalked me at a club, cornered me in the bathroom and was like,

hey, don't you have a daughter? I'm Anisha's friend. Shout out to Anisha. And I was like, yeah, even though I knew who she was because I'd stalked her on Instagram. And she was like, let's get the girls together on Monday,

which is obviously AKA for let's get together because the kids were like six months old and they didn't care. So, I mean, I think there's always moments of loneliness. I have to hand it to both of you to be able to do this alone. It's a lot. I mean, he is, Michael does 50%. He does. He's an incredible father and I can't imagine having to do it all alone. That's a lot of work. How do you guys navigate that?

And maybe someone's listening who's a single mom that needs tips or tricks. I think that community is so important. Like having, whether that's your family, whether that's your friends, we have both. I mean, my family, they're kind of intertwined. I consider my friends my family. And not to say that her father isn't, her father's in the picture, but I take on most of intertwined. I consider my friends, my family. And not to say that her father isn't, her father's in the picture, but I take on most of the responsibility. So whenever I can, I lean on him for assistance. But for the most part, it's really about the

tribe. And the tribe are my friends. The tribe is Jamila. The tribe is my mom, my dad. So I think leading on them and not being afraid to ask for help, it has been, you know, my superpower in motherhood. And even in building this business with Jamila, like not being afraid to ask for help is the only way that I feel like I've been able to manage motherhood and life and work. I agree with all those things. I would also say tribe and also detaching from this like fairy tale, this fairy tale family, you know, like little like women are given that spoon fed like this fairy tale from a very young age, like Disney princesses and shit. Prince Charming's going to come find you. You're going to get a picket fence. Everything's going to work out perfectly. My daughter's father was my high school sweetheart. So we, this was like our plan from, for a very long time. So I think a part of coming into and

stepping into single motherhood has really been detaching and letting go that like my family will look different than your family and it's still okay. And it's still good and strong. And like, I do call Erica, my wife, because like we go on family vacations together. We consult about camp together. Like these are things that probably you do, you guys do together. But when I finally detached that,

like it didn't work out and that's best for me. And actually I could be a better person and a better human and like be a better parent because of it. It's actually really made this journey much smoother. And like, it never goes away. There's always going to scroll Instagram and be like, damn, she has, they, they stayed together. God, I just looked at someone today. I'm one of our friends who's like,

right, right. And I'm just like, God, I wish she would've, I wish I could have got it together with him. I wish could have worked out. But like the wish, the wishing doesn't really get you far because like you have to stand in like where you are present and like be good in it. And that's really made a huge difference for me too. How do you navigate it with your kids and like having time with your ex? Like what does that look like? Was it really hard in the beginning and now it's gotten easier? Is it something that you can just drop them off? How does that work? Thankfully, my daughter doesn't remember us together. I mean, me and him were together for a very long time, like I think close to seven years.

And then we broke up around the time she was two and a half. And I think this was like last summer. I was showing her a picture of us together, like me, him, and her. And I was in our house, like in the house that we currently live in. And she was like, Daddy lived in our house? And I was like, yeah, you don't remember. And like, I have so many

vivid memories of her being so present with us that it was kind of shocking that she didn't. It was, I kind of went through a range of emotions. Like I was kind of sad that like she didn't, but also like maybe it's for the best that she didn't. So she didn't really have to experience like this, I guess, heartbreak that maybe some kids do. I know that she's had to navigate now being six and seeing like she's understanding certain what certain family structures look like and going over to people's houses and, you know, seeing that they have two parents in the house and like having to be having to like kind of almost defend herself in ways. Because like kids are like, kids don't know. Like, so I had like a little girl come over and ask in front of her, like, why doesn't your daddy live here? And you know, I, I came back with,

I already has two houses. Like she's, she's killing it. She has two houses. So what about you? So, and then I felt like she got a little defensive. Like, he's still my dad. That's what she said. And, you know, we had a conversation after that and she was fine. But I think with my co-parenting situation is very transactional. It's just like, this, pick her up. This is the time. This is it. Maybe one day we'll have a friendship, but right now that's like the healthiest thing for us. I think in the beginning, you really want to have like this family unit. For me, I was just like, we're still going to do things as a family, you know, like even being a black woman, I think there's like a stigma being a single black mom.

Like it's like your worst nightmare come true. But and I was just like, I was gung ho on still like going to the movies, going to Disneyland, like we're going to go to Disney World. And then when I realized like that was giving both of us really like not clear boundaries, I stopped doing that. And it's actually, it's been much better that way. And actually she's not affected at all. My kid is so great. And we broke up and she was two.

So now she's six and she's used to it. This is what's normal for her. And she sees me happy. You know, that's one thing I noticed immediately, like no matter how old she is, like she feels my energy. She knows if like, even if I'm faking it, even if I'm trying to pretend, she's like, what's wrong? And I would much rather if it has to be separate for us to be happier and like in a good mood and genuinely, I'd do that a hundred times over than going to fucking Disneyland together. This may hit a nerve. and I was hesitant to ever say it

before I had a child of my own because like you never, before you, I don't think you can relate to parents until you become a parent, right? Like it's on many levels, but I've always kind of in the back of my mind thought like if you're a couple

that's not in a healthy place, you're not, you're maybe not doing a child a service by staying together, fighting, being miserable together. Because the child's going to feel that energy and see all that. It might be actually healthier in a lot of ways to say, hey, we're better as just like co-parents,

not as partners together. Because if it becomes a chaotic household, you think you're doing a service by staying together, but it's maybe worse for the child. Whenever you're rude to me, I'm going to play this clip. Whenever you're rude in front of Zaza, I'm going to play this clip to remind you that you said this. Taylor, cut it. I'm going to play it. I'm going to sit there and smile and play it on loud. It plays into what

you're talking about. This like fairytale image that like, I think so many of us grew up seeing is like, you think you have to do this certain thing. And I think it makes people maybe in some cases hold on to unhealthy relationship and unhealthy situations because like this is what we were told is the norm. Right. But it may not be the norm for everybody. I also think that like even in relationships, because relationships go through ups and downs, period. Like, you know, and it doesn't mean that you should break up. It just means you got to work through it. I think you don't want to show your kids everything, but I think it's important for your kids to see that too, though. So they don't, so they really understand like what relationships are like, that mommy and daddy never argued. They just never argued. And then suddenly they're getting a divorce. It like makes no sense to them.

They're just like, what the fuck is happening? I just feel like, I do feel like, yes, I agree that there's a lot of people, we get hit up by so many women, like, I don't, I want to leave my partner, but I'm worried that I'm going to like ruin my kid's life. And, you know, we've been together for 10 years. My daughter's 15. She's going to high school. I'm worried it's going to like affect her education and this and that. And listen, like I have a six-year-old. I only know as much as I know, but being myself, like I was raised by a single mother. My mom was a single parent. And I know that like being in a house that is toxic and not healthy would affect me more than maybe my parents breaking up and then finally seeing my parent happy. Someone asked me the other day on Instagram what the best drugstore finds are. And as you can

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sure i think it's just like this whole thing that we've all been totally like you turn on like the hallmark channel and that's just like this picture perfect family so we all think we have to stay in this family structure all the time and not you know I'm not saying you shouldn't but I think you got to really analyze relationship like is this is it better separate or better together and like we use this thing like it

you can all if you're if you separate it's actually harming the child but nobody ever says like maybe staying together is harming them more right I actually came from a household where my parents had been together for like similar amount of years that I was with my ex, like through high school since my mom was like 14. And I remember having vivid conversations with my mom when I was like seven, like, I think you should get a divorce. And she was like, but our family and like 30 years later, I'm like, I told you it's not that I had like a terrible childhood,

but it was, it's trauma. You know, you see a relationship going through turmoil your whole life and you're like, Hey, this doesn't seem smart. You know? So like a lot of times children, no matter what age are much more intelligent, especially much more emotionally mature than you think, because they're, they're going off their intuition. They haven't been seasoned by like what's supposed to be. They're actually just in their feelings, which is such a more true indication of like what you're supposed to be doing. But we move away from that in adulthood. So I think like it's much more healthy to make a decision like, am I happier here? Am I more myself this way than living, coexisting with someone that I don't feel at my best? I'm a much happier parent and human being single than I was in that relationship. And that was probably the best decision that I made for my kid and for myself. choices what are some bad choices tell me all the bad choices we love to talk about bad choices on this podcast well I think it's a play on on on that word because I think a lot of times you know

for example I smoke weed I'm a cannabis advocate me and Jamila have a cannabis line coming out at the beginning of next year and congratulations thank you thank you that's exciting thank you it is and entrepreneur just like your mom. Oh, it doesn't stop. Her mom's been on the podcast, the founder of Beauty Blender. Just had to shout her out. Shout out to mommy. Hi, mom.

I think that a lot of parents would say that that's a bad choice or people, maybe people that aren't parents, would say that's a bad choice. You smoke weed. Oh my gosh. Your kid knows you smoke weed. Yeah, she does.

I don't hide it from her because that shit was hidden from me as a kid and you smoke weed. Yeah, she does. I don't hide it from her because I was, that shit was hidden from me as a kid and it intrigued me. I was just like, what are they doing back there? Like, you know, and I was a very curious child

and I think that we reserve a lot of things for kids. Like we talk about this at this age or we talk about this at that age. My daughter has like, literally I go smoke. She's like, I'm going,

I'm going inside, whatever. It's not a great mystery. It's not a mystery. It's like so unimpressive. It's she doesn't care at all. I think that maybe like talking bad choices, talking about sex on the internet. I don't know. I'm a mom that talks about my dating life. You know, I have fun and I enjoy being single. I mean, I'm right now I'm in the stage of my, of my singleness now where I, I feel like I'm ready for a relationship, but you know. I mean, right now I'm in the stage of my singleness now where I feel like I'm ready for a relationship, but I've aired out my dirty laundry. But in so many ways, it's been healing for me and also healing for other people. I've built a whole community based on just sharing who I am authentically myself. Another bad choice, I mean, I've actually made bad choices as well. I think the whole think like the whole process of like the podcast

and just that word is like, you make bad choices that you can learn from them, right? Like this podcast has made me have to be accountable for my actions because I'm talking about them on a weekly basis. What are your bad choices? I mean, we also got some bad choices. Oh, we got bad choices.

We're committed. We got bad choices tattoos. Yeah, I've made a lot of bad choices. I would just say like it's a play on words. Just the simple fact like we talked about the motherhood thing. And I think it's just about promoting that whatever is typically maybe publicly a bad choice. And people are like hesitant to talk about like smoking weed or whatever you do. Like that's your choice and you have to

evaluate if it's bad or good. One of the reasons this podcast was born is because when Erica first got single, right before we decided we were going to do the podcast, she was like, I'm dating, I'm on Tinder. I'm like, perfect. That's cool. She's like, I've met a couple. They're really fine as hell. I've been hanging out with them. And I was like, we had been surface friends for years, like a couple of years. So I was like, oh, you're spicier than I thought. Like you're more my tribe than I ever knew because we were just like mommy friends. And so right after that, she asked me if I wanted to start a podcast. And I was like, cool. But are you going to talk about the couple? Are we going to talk about this? Because I can't do it if it's just going to be just mommy shit, because we're so much more than that. And I just think that us talking about

our bad choices and playing on those words is that every individual has to navigate what that means. You know, for us discussing cannabis saying, hey, this is a flower. Look at mommy's flower and look how it's grown. It's from the garden and we roll it. And this for adults is for me a good choice because there's no curiosity, because there's honesty. And obviously there's honesty in an age appropriate way, but it's more about fuck society. And just because you're a mom, doesn't mean that you staying out past 11 or dating

or whatever humans do, doesn't make it necessarily a bad choice. And it's up to you to be like, okay, I went a little too far that night. Let me bring it back, you know? And we have, we've found so much like support and tribe and discussing those quote unquote bad choices because women have reached out from so many places

like, oh my God, thank God. I've been smoking weed in my car for years because I'm embarrassed or because my husband's family shames me or, you know, like I've been smoking weed in my car for years because I'm embarrassed or because my husband's family shames me or, you know, like I've been dating and I didn't know that this was okay. But like, hey, you guys, moms have sex too. That's how we became moms.

So just more about being honest about the choices and not being ashamed or feeling shame about it. You guys did an episode on threesomes. Is that, that was like one of your first episodes. She's gonna get these bad choices out of us. If, if, right. It's the last thing she does. I'm gonna get the bad choices out of you.

What is the trick to a successful threesome? There are a couple of things. And this was, we're experts. We did it from a couple's perspective. And we also did it from the single person's perspective. If you're joining as the third party. I think one of the top ones that i remember is you can't have a threesome to fix your relationship that's like number one like do not have a threesome if your relationship is struggling it's not going to cure it in fact it'll probably make it worse meaning like the couple

comes as aka we're like we're in a rocky spot and like we gotta spice it up we know this let's bring let's bring another third party normally that's a therapist but like maybe yeah I think let's go therapy first and then maybe bring the unicorn in and how do you discover

that that did not work out was this from personal experience or did you or is this like research and how do you figure out it's research I

this is not from personal experience it's from research experience it's from talking to other couples that have done that and are no longer together. And I feel like it's common sense. What's the main thing that goes wrong though? It's just like... Well, I think that they find

that either the man becomes more intrigued by this new exciting person or that they become, they rely on this person to constantly validate and spice up their relationship. The woman might start feeling insecure because now the man seems more excited about, you know, this new woman coming in.

Well, that could happen on either side. Yeah, on either side. I just feel like it's just a recipe for divorce or breakup. So when does it work out? When you're in a healthy place and then you decide to open up your relationship. If you guys have both discussed it and you've both agreed upon it,

you've agreed upon the person. Another thing you should not do is the man should not choose the person without the woman. It's a like a group thing. We do it together. I don't think like, oh, I have this chick like that's never going to go over well. Who's that? Didn't you tell me a story about like somebody that like that happened with a guy where he was like the guy like went, they started doing they started having threesomes and then the guy thought it was like carte blanche for him to go out and like start identifying other women to bring in and it became that was not a story i told you that was bronwyn on a real oh no but maybe wives of orange bitch you just got caught no that was fucking bronwyn and her Well, maybe you told me that story. Because Bronwyn, if you guys watch that show.

No, but you do. Yeah, you do. You do. Michael loves it. No, no. Bronwyn's on OC and her and her husband were in a relationship

where they had threesomes and they were married and they have seven kids. This is a great series if you want to watch it. No, I'm like, I have to watch this. But what ended up happening

was he started finding girls. Okay, so you told me that's what happened. I don't know if I have to watch this? But what ended up happening was he started finding girls. Okay, so you told me that's what happened. I don't know if I told you. I saw the show, but I didn't realize behind the scenes this is what ended up killing them.

But what ended up happening was they ended up getting a divorce and Bronwyn actually found out after she got sober that she's a lesbian. So after 20 years of marriage and threesomes

and all of this, she actually discovered in the end it wasn't that she wanted to have threesomes and all of this, she actually discovered in the end, it wasn't that she wanted to have threesomes. She actually was attracted to women. I've heard that a lot before. And I think that's another thing. Like that goes with like the fairy tale image, right? If I'm a lesbian, I can't have my husband

and my like white picket fence. And so women or men like push down these real true feelings and like sprinkle some threesomes on top and think it's going to be fine. And it's like, no, if you are a lesbian, you're a lesbian and you need to like take out the penis. So yeah, see, we're right.

And we are experts. See, we nailed it. We are experts, threesome experts. I love how you just admitted that you watch. No, I always admit I watch it, but I didn't realize, I forgot. What's your favorite? What's your favorite out of all of them?

I already told you, I like the New York one because I just feel like they're out there. This is a side note for everyone. Don't sleep on Real Housewives of Potomac. Quick break to talk about one of our partners, Coinbase. So it turns out that finance, personal finance, financial literacy is a big topic on this show. We've been touching on it recently. We've done a couple episodes, which I highly suggest you check out if you have not. And one of the main questions that we get back after some of these finance episodes is, what about cryptocurrency? How do I get involved? What's going on? What's the craze? Which coins? How to invest all of the above? There's a lot going on in the crypto world, and I know it can

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I started watching that. I'm not really into reality TV. I started watching it and the drama was high. Really? Because there's so much dynamic and they're not friends in real life. They're actually real dynamic.

Yeah. It's good. Karen Huger is my... So when does the threesome work out? Oh, most importantly. When you're in a healthy space and you bring a person that you guys both agree on and that person's cool and respects the boundaries of your relationship and you respect the boundaries of your relationship, I think it could be like beautiful and platonic and fun and healthy and loving.

And also highly recommend the group text and never straying from the group text. Yes, that's true. Just stay on the group text. And there should never be a time where you are texting separately than the group text and never straying from the group text. Yes, that's true. Just stay on the group text. And there should never be a time where you are texting separately than the group text. You know what I've always thought about though? And we had a gentleman and his then girlfriend come on the show and talk about being in open relationships.

They both would date other people and bring other people and ultimately it ended up not working. I think what I've always wondered is, say Lauren and I were exploring that. How do you mitigate against somebody else, the third person, catching feelings? Because that eventually can happen, right? I think you can't.

I think it's kind of like the risk that you take. I mean, I think when you open your relationship, you have to be open to the idea that that person might open up to someone else and find connection elsewhere. I mean, that's kind of the risk that you take. Hopefully you are, you feel like you've built a strong structure and foundation with your partner, but that's life. Yeah. Like even if you didn't open your relationship up, like how often do we hear about like Bob running off with the secretary?

You know, like I think we have this. Bob's a dirty dog. No, Bob is a dirty dog. I just, I feel like you have, we have this expectation Bob's a dirty dog. They're all dirty. No, Bob is a dirty dog. I just, I feel like you have, we have this expectation that if we're in a marriage or in a partnership, if I keep tabs on you all the time, then you'll never leave me. And if I don't allow you to go hang out with your secretary after work,

then you'll never leave me. And there's no potential for that to happen. But I think in open relationships, the hope is that whatever happens, we're friends enough and respect each other enough and trust each other enough that like whatever comes up, look, I'm developing feelings for this person. I don't know why. I don't know if it's something like not going well in our relationship right now, but like I want to explore it. And then just like not being afraid

that someone's going to turn the corner and leave you essentially. Right. Because nobody really wants to be in a relationship like that anyway. We had Sophia with an F, that's her podcast on, and she talked about how she was doing a threesome. We had like this whole episode on threesomes. And she said that she was like totally down with it, with her boyfriend. Everything was great until one morning she woke up. That's the story I'm talking about, but go on. Oh, that's, oh, okay. He was racking his brain to make sure, but you still do watch Real Housewives. Listen, guilty, caught me, but that's the story I'm talking about, but go on. Oh, that's, oh, okay. He was racking his brain to make sure. But you still do watch Real Housewives of New York. Listen, guilty, caught me.

But that's the story I'm talking about. She said that she woke up one morning and she saw her boyfriend cuddling the other girl without her. And then she said where it was done, it was she said they got in the car and the girl went and sat in the front seat. You know what? Don't sit in the front seat. You know what?

Don't sit in the front seat, bitch. I was okay with the cuddling. The cuddling I could deal with. The front seat and I'm here. Okay. You can't do the front seat. If you guys are listening. You have to pull that reaction of the front seat.

Like I want that on a clip. You cannot do the front seat. That is absolute. That's fuckery. Wait, it's so funny. It reminds me of of we have a friend and she was out of town so she like

offered that her boyfriend would take us out on the town which was really kind of her. But they're also like in an open space so it's like very platonic and loving.

And like so she's like he's going to take you guys out. Whatever. So he came and picked us up. Such a gentleman. And he puts us both in the back seat and we're like one he puts us both in the back seat. And we're like,

one of us will get in the front seat. It's fine. Like, we don't want you to show for us. He's like, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no. I really want you guys to chill in the back seat. He had like a cooler. He like brought us.

Do you think he did that on purpose? Now I'm thinking about it. No, he did. She told me. Oh. So then he later told me, I told,

I was laughing. I was like, whatever. This is really great. Fine. And later she told us, she was like, yeah,

cause he was all in his mind. He was like, who's going to get the front seat? Like who's more important? Oh yeah. And she was like, yeah, because he was all in his mind. He was like, who's going to get the front seat? Like, who's more important? Oh, yeah. And I was like, wow, he really overthought it. I was totally fine in the back. We had a cooler.

We had alcohol. It was great. You know what? I just think that if you're going to do a threesome and you're the guest, never sit in the front seat. Never. Know your place. That's the unicorn.

You got to know your place. That's another thing. I feel like I'm like the best unicorn option ever because I just don't believe in overstepping. Like I don't, even if I feel like there's some insecurity or jealousy, like I don't even want to hang out because it doesn't feel good.

Like if I feel like your wife is kind of maybe giving me a dirty eye or feeling away, it just doesn't feel good. Like I've never, I never want to be a third person and be like, can't wait to get him alone. I'm going to take him from his wife. Like you got also women have intuition. You know, if a chick,

even though if a friend is being shady, I don't do shady friends. I don't do shady third persons, unicorns, you know, like I have to know I'm the type of friend. I'm like, if you need any help with that guy, you just let me know because I volunteer. But if you're like, you have to be able to use your womanly intuition to know if a girl is sneaky little bitch i think that as women we need to trust our energy and intuition

more amen yeah i think that that when you feel like something's weird there's probably something there that's weird i want to talk about beauty secrets. Okay. Let's give us your mom. What a transition. Three thumbs to beauty secrets. That's called the skinny confidential. Lauren, you are a pro. Thank you very much. It's a bag of Chexnics. You never know what you're going to get. Beauty secrets. So as a mom, you don't have a lot of time, but you both look beautiful right now. What are some quick, efficient hacks for moms when it comes to beauty? Curl your eyelashes, do your eyebrows, use a beauty blender. I mean, honestly, I mean, this, you know, it is my brand, Beauty Blender, but it's not a secret. It's very widely known.

But honestly, it's the best, my best, it's my secret weapon for everything. Like I literally can put my face on in under 30 seconds and I don't have a lot of time. My daughter does not give a fuck about my beauty routine at all. Although now she kind of wants to be involved in it at six, which is kind of scary. Good luck guys. I would say also like try to, try to sleep, try to get rest. Drink water. Drink water and rest. Mind your motherfucking business. Moms are so... All of our needs are last.

Today I was like, can't eat. Rushing. Who cares about food? I always leave a beauty blender in the car. And it always comes in handy because I always find like that one bottle of hot ass water. And you will see me on the freeway or at a stoplight wetting the Beauty Blender in the street with the one bottle that I found. I've reached over to the passenger seat to find

and to apply makeup. Beauty Blender is my favorite thing ever. And I hate that Erica says eyelash curlers because I just feel like that doesn't do shit. What do you mean? I just, you know, we're just like, where's my eyelashes? Look at that. I feel like they're from the 90s. that doesn't do shit. What do you mean? I just, you know, we're just like, where's my eyelashes? Look at that.

I feel like they're from the 90s. Her eyelashes do look good. They do. I'm an esthetician. I'm a licensed esthetician. So I do agree that brows and lashes are the most impeccable thing you could do. And most moms, I mean, if you have time to sit down for an hour and a half and get lash extensions, it's life changing.

And yeah, I use Beauty Blender Foundation, which gives me full coverage. And that's my thing. It's bouncy and it's called Bounce, which makes total sense. So you're an esthetician. So maybe is there like a tip that we can do like a mini at-home mom facial in two minutes? It has been all over my Instagram stories. You have seen it on my Instagram, on the blog, on the podcast, and that is Array. I could not be more excited to talk about this brand. First of all, if you get bloated easily like I do, this is your thing, okay? So basically, it's this herbal supplement. It's all natural. There's

no added shit. I actually first found out about it through Melissa Wood Health. And I noticed it specifically when I was traveling. So I would use the bloat capsules whenever I would travel and get bloated, especially in my stomach area. I mean, accompanied with the ice roller, it was like a game changer. And what I noticed is that it would just make me feel less bloated. It's basically a blend of five herbs and a fruit-based digestive enzyme. It's completely laxative free. So it's none of that skinny tea, weird bullshit. Okay.

This is legit. It has lemon balm in it, peppermint, slippery elm, all the things that can help you fight bloat in the stomach area, in the arm area, in the leg area naturally. I'm very much about this. It just basically gives you food freedom so you can enjoy the foods you love. I notice if I have too much sodium, like if I have a couple of green olives, fucking forget it, right? I'm blowing up like Veruca salt from Willy Wonka, like a blueberry rolling around. But I noticed when I take a raised bloat capsules,

it really, really helps. It solves the issue. I like to do two after I eat. They're 100% natural, filler-free, organic, and formulated by a naturopathic doctor. We love all this. The founders are absolutely amazing. And they're all about helping you with bloat. You are going to go to array.com. That's A-R-R-A-E.com and use code skinny at checkout for 10% off of a one-time

purchase or 25% off the first month on subscription. I'm telling you, check this out, get the bloat capsules. You will not be sorry. A mini at-home mom facial. I mean, if you could just take a shower. I try to do like masks in the shower. I'm like lock the door and just do all my shit while I'm in the shower. That's my time. You know, if you could just do a quick mask while you wash your body. Sometimes I take an extra long shower because I'm just like, I just, I need a little bit of a break. The shower is a great hack. I used to think I'd be able to go to the bathroom a little longer, but now she wants to come in the bathroom with me.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Because they don't hear water running. They're like, what are you doing in there? My daughter is so invasive. I'm like. They open the door. I'm like, I'm taking your shit.

She's like, I don't care. I'm like, what? No, they want to be. They want to be right in wherever you are. I guess like the fingers under the door. I'm like, what? No, they want to be right in wherever you are. I get the fingers under the door. I'm like, if you don't leave me alone, wow. It's a lot. One and a half year old, that's kind of the age where I was like, wow, one and a half

is like, it gets tricky because they're walking and moving. We were so arrogant about it. We're like, man, this is like a lot easier than we thought it was. Yeah, she's a newborn laying there. I'm like, this is so easy. She just sleeps all day. What is everybody talking about? We can get her on the plane. I'm like, man, this is like a lot easier than we thought it was. Yeah, she's a newborn laying there. I'm like, this is so easy. She just sleeps all day. What is everybody talking about?

We can get her on the plane. Now, then she started moving around and then she started being able to swing her arms and legs and like have tantrums. And we're like, oh damn, this is. Wait till two. I was gonna say, just wait till two. Actually, two actually was not that bad.

It was three. The whole two was a lot of talking. The whole two, I'm like, you didn't even used to say that how do you know that word that that two year two is intense three is just extreme tantrums when does it get easier i mean right now is not so bad for me six i mean there's a lot that you can kind of reason with them you can reason with them you can make them do shit for you like go get the remote. This is like what I remember, like my whole childhood, my mom being like,

Erica! And I'm like, oh my God, I'm in trouble. And then I come in and she's like, can you pass me the remote? And it's literally at the end of the bed. I'm like, are you kidding me? That's me now.

I'm like, this is the best part of parenthood. It's like, you must do what I say. Although my daughter now recently like is saying no to me a lot. Like I'll be like, go do this. She's like, no. I'm like, excuse me, what? And that is. The mimicking of your own attitude is really intense. I was going to say, I wonder where she learned that from. Yeah. I'm like, wow, I don't appreciate this attitude, but you got it from me. So. So I want to know a little bit more how you guys have built your podcast in your community. You've done a really incredible job. I think you have merch. You have these

beautiful jewelry pieces. They got me this little earrings that say baby mama, and I can see you have bad choice necklace. You have one in there too. Oh, thank you. You're so cute. What is the trick? Because you guys seem like you're hustlers. You're going full in. I don't know if there's a trick. I think, I mean. Never sleep. Yeah. I think there's no really trick. It's just been a lot of just bootstrapping and asking for help and taking chances and, you know, having a, having a little team, we have a little team that really helps us and believes in us and finding those people that really believe in you,

having those ambassadors essentially that believe in you and, you know, paying them. And I think one of the things that, I mean, I think helped our podcast was just our authenticity helped grow us rather quickly. And then, you know, just utilizing different things. Like we have Patreon, which, you know, we utilize and we have a lot of different secret episodes there. We have secret journal entries. We do share a lot in the podcast, but there's certain things that I like reserve

just for my community that, you know, wants to buy into us and support us. We actually like really engage with our community. We talk to them every day. We have a Slack group where hundreds of moms are there talking and interacting on their own, which is so cool. Like I think as a mom, like I know you guys recently moved, right? You live in, and I think sometimes it can be really difficult

to find your tribe, especially when you move somewhere else, like finding moms that you can relate to in your city. And our community like can meet up. They meet up on their own and they hang out. And we do meetups whenever we travel. We just had one in New York City. We had a dinner with some of our listeners. So I think just really, if your podcast is community-based,

then really be about the community. You can't fake it. Yeah, it hasn't just been all about you guys. I think our superpower has really been being honest. I don't recommend everybody be honest on the internet. But for us, I think just coming and being vulnerable really was like a back call for our people, you know, because I think moms really don't have a space

that they can do that. And so when they can identify, and when they do, and they come to the Slack, they know immediately, like, it's a safe space that they can do that. And so when they can identify and when they do and they come to the Slack, they know immediately like it's a safe space to come as you are. I mean, even for me, I go drop my kid off to school or go to like the PTA meeting. I'm like, oh, this is really not my cup of tea. These women, I hope they don't discover my podcast. Even though I told a mom yesterday, which I don't know if I should have done that. But I think that's the thing, because we are so vulnerable to our community,

they know that they can come to the Slack or they can come to our space, they can come DM us and there's no judgment. And it's a space where they could just be like, guess what I did last night? Or I'm really struggling with this. And there's no space for like, you know, like there's no,

there's really no judgment. And I think that's really helped us grow a lot. If you could tell our audience one piece of advice, if they're a single mom, what would it be? Because we do have a lot of single moms that are probably listening. I would detach from that fairy tale bullshit. Your power is in you, period. Find your tribe, make that your priority. Stop trying to do everything alone. It's not cute. It's not going to work. You're going to be sad. You're going to be overwhelmed. Ask for help and find your tribe. Okay. So I'm going to do a whole podcast on this, but basically Michael and I are doing

70 days, no alcohol, daily meditation and daily movement. Michael's muscles are popping. Let me tell you, I'm feeling energetic. I'm jacked. Okay. I'm ready to go. And I feel like what has helped me sort of get away from my glass of wine was CBD. I feel like one thing that's really helped replace my glass of wine is gummies, specifically CBD gummies. There are these sex gummies, okay? And they're by House of Wise. And they have horny goat weed in them, maca root, ashwagandha, and a little bit of CBD. And they are magical to wind down. Magical. Absolutely magical.

Not only do I not have a glass of wine, I get to wind down some sex and some CBD gummies. It's heaven for me. No hangover, but you still get laid, still feel good, still feel calm. Yeah, it's everything you need to de-stress. We put the baby to bed. We pop a sex gummy.

And we just wind down. See where it takes us. See where it takes us. To give you a little background on House of Wise, it was launched last year in a pandemic by a single mom looking to help her friends drink less, sleep better, and have better sex. Who doesn't want to do all of these things?

I mean, this is absolutely amazing. To wind down at night, CBD is it. The CBD world is confusing. It can be overwhelming. So you really want to do your research whenever you are ingesting CBD. House of Wise is 100% organic, vegan, gluten-free. Their gummies taste amazing. Like I said, if you're going to start with one of them, they have all different kinds. I think they have one for sleep, sex, stress, even strength. I personally would go for the sex one. It's fun. It's relaxing. It's all the things. Check it out. They taste delicious.

As our partner, House of Wise wants to give you all 20% off your first purchase. Simply go to houseofwise.co and use promo code skinny to redeem your discount. That is 20% off your first sleep, sex, stress, or strength product when you go to housewise.co and use promo code skinny. Enjoy. Even if you have to drop your baby off, sneak into the club and corner someone in the bathroom, like Erica did me, go do it. If you have to slide in a DM, be vulnerable. Like, hey, hi, I need a friend. And I think as women, it's such a strange thing to think about making an adult friend. In the schoolyard, it's easy, but we lose that in adulthood. But sometimes that's what you need

to do. Actually, most of the time you have to take the initiative, just like you would do to go find a date or find a lover. You would take the initiative to put in the work to like maintain friendships and I think that's really important so if I was chasing Lauren

just corner in the bathroom of the club yep you'll get a date that's basically what you did that doesn't work in 2021 anymore

but it worked then it kind of worked so it took a while before you go if you could each share your morning routine I would love it and could each share your morning routine, I would love it. And I know that your morning routine is going to look different than someone who doesn't have kids. That's why I'm so intrigued by it. I love morning routines, but I want to hear as a

single mom if you have one. Okay, so it changes. But recently, because I'm trying to be healthy, I wake up at 6am. I do my jail workout in my garage. I love that. Is it just like, it's just like- I can see her in the garage. You know it. I said that one time too, and people didn't like it. It's like, what is that?

Like pushups? It's like using your own body weight. I have some weights, but you know, whatever. I also like sometimes lean on YouTube and look up HIIT workouts. So depending on how late or early I've woken up, I search like 30 minutes or 20 minutes. I work out. I meditate and I pour myself a cup of coffee. I wake up my daughter who, you know, has an attitude.

Well, first she's like happy and kisses me and then she gets pissed. She takes a shower while I make her breakfast. She eats. Lately, I'm really trying to get her to read on her own. So we've been like practicing while reading while she's eating. Literally, probably like 40 minutes after I wake up, I'm already talking to Jamila.

Probably like four minutes. Because we have like, our emails are out of control. So, and we have an assistant, but it's still, it's just a lot. So, and then I get in the car. Lately, it's still summer. So just a lot. So, and then I get in the car lately, it's still summer. So I'm dropping my daughter off at camp and that's my morning routine or yeah, I'm not, I guess my skincare routine, I do wash my face and brush my teeth.

I've been putting a lot of like vitamin C serum on my face in the morning because I'm 33 and I'm starting to see fine lines on my face and I'm freaking out. Your skin looks really pretty. Well, I have makeup on, but thank you. Yeah, but you just look really pretty. Thank you. Yeah. I can tell that you used a beauty blender. Yeah, I did. Yeah. But under this, I have dark circles and. Oh, shut up. I do. My skin is pretty. She's beautiful. She's flawless. You're both beautiful. She's photogenic. Shut up. But that's like my morning routine. And I'm usually late. I don't need everywhere I go.

So there's that. You have an excuse. It's the best excuse. But one day, like she's going to be out of my home and I have no excuse. Can you imagine if I was a single mom, how late I would be? I'm already late. Can you imagine? I'd be like, I'd be there next the next day.

People just start lying to you and telling you it's an hour before. Our friends lie to us. They like, we'll be like, we have to be there at 12 o'clock and like we'll get there like 1245. That's exactly what I do. Why doesn't everyone lie? It's been like 500 years and he still doesn't lie. I pepper him out because I can't lie every time or else he'll figure it out.

Right, right. That's the thing. That's what our friends said. They're like, we can't do it all the time. We're going to like switch it up. Do it on the important ones. Do you have a morning routine? I am 12 and I'm still working on having a routine.

That's okay. I like the honesty. My routines are not a routine yet. But this new moon, I did ask spirit to let me be more committed to myself. So hopefully my routine is starting. But we do, i like incense we do dance parties naked while i make egg waffles and you know we brush our teeth and i always i realize one thing i do ask like how did you dream what did you dream about i'm always asking about the dreams

because i'm a dream interpreter which i try to chant bud Buddhist chant, Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. I like to just kind of like try to instill some normalcy, like not normalcy, just some routine for her because I didn't really get that as a child. And I'm 33, still trying to figure out my routine. But we do brush our teeth,

I feed her and we dance. That's a constant. And I email, I mean, I'm talking to Erica, probably like I'm shocked if I don't have a text from Erica by the time I wake up. Do you have to be a mom to listen to your podcast?

Absolutely not. So it's for anyone. Anyone can listen. Pimp yourself out. Tell your audience or tell our audience where they can find you. Instagram handles where they can get your merch. You guys have to look at these earrings. They say baby mama and they're gold.

They are so cute. Baby goes on one ear and mama goes on the other. That's what I designed by us. They're really cute. Thank you. Yes. No, you do not have to be mom to listen to our podcast. In fact, it's just, you can be a man or a woman or non-binary, whatever you identify as. You can find us on all podcast platforms at Good Moms Bad Choices. On Instagram, you can find us at Good Moms underscore Bad Choices. We actually have a retreat coming up in 2022. We're taking the tribe to Costa Rica. So if you get interested in that, make sure you go to our website at Good Moms, Bad Choices dot com so that you guys can find out when we release those details and

tickets. Patreon is really fun. And if you are a mom or a woman, really, and you're looking for community, I really, really encourage you to join our Patreon with access to our Patreon. You get access to our Slack group where you can connect with women all over the United States and they want to meet. They really do. They want to meet up with you guys and that's patreon.com backslash good moms

bad choices. And Instagram handles? My personal Instagram handle is at Mila, M-I-L-A-H underscore Mappo, M-A-P-P-O. And I'm at WatchErica. And maybe if I ask you off air, we can do a giveaway for the baby mama earrings. Oh, let's do it. For sure. We can for sure do that. Come back anytime. I am going to go do your podcast. We're doing a swap. I know you're all running to listen to the threesome episode, but afterwards, listen to us on you guys' podcast, Good Moms, Bad Choices.

Thank you both. Thank you. My latest book is out. It's live. It's on Barnes & Noble and Amazon. If you want to win a copy of Get the Fuck Out of the Sun, which will be signed, all you have to do is tell us your favorite part of this episode on my latest Instagram at Lauren Bostic. And make sure you check out my episode on their podcast. You can search Good Moms, Bad Choices, where podcasts are found.