The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - How to Build A Life On Your Own Terms With Tait Fletcher - Making Mistakes, Learning From Mistakes, Finding Your Calling, & How The Hard Road Leads To The Greatest Rewards

Episode Date: June 28, 2019

#198: On this episode we sit down with our friend Tait Fletcher. Tait is a professional MMA fighter, stuntman, actor, and speaker. Tait has appeared on some of the largest film projects including Breaking Bad, Jumanji, John Wick & More. Tait joins us to discuss how to build a life on your own terms, how to make mistakes, recover, and learn from them. We also discuss how staying on the long hard road leads to the greatest rewards.  To connect with Tait Fletcher click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) Pill Club is a birth control auto-delivery service that prescribes and delivers up to a year’s worth of birth control FOR FREE if you have insurance, and $3.99 per pack without.  They carry 120 brands of birth control and their medical team of doctors and nurses will be ready to guide members through every step.  Pill Club empowers women by saving them time and money when it comes to birth control because it’s just not fair that 100% of the burden is on the woman. Not only do you get your birth control, but you also get free wellness gifts, delicious candy and cute stickers with every delivery. You can sign up for Pill Club at www.thepillclub.com/skinny This episode is brought to you by Casper. To try Casper go to www.casper.com/skinny and use code SKINNY to get $50 toward select mattress with a 100 day money back guarantee trial and free shipping. Again that's casper.com/skinny. and then use promo code SKINNY. Terms and conditions apply. 

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. This episode is brought to you by Pill Club. Pill Club is a birth control auto delivery service that prescribes and delivers up to a year's worth of birth control for free if you have insurance and $3.99 per pack without. They carry 120 brands of birth control and their medical team of doctors and nurses will be ready to guide members through every step. Pill Club empowers women by saving them time and money when it comes to birth control, because it's just not fair that 100% of the burden is on the women. Not only do you get your birth control, but you also get free wellness gifts, delicious candy,

and cute stickers with every delivery. You can sign up for Pill Club at thepillclub.com slash skinny. That's thepillclub.com slash skinny. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her.

Aha! I chose things not that were necessarily for an ending that looked like the ending other people were looking for. Other people were looking for jobs to get X amount of money or this or that. And I really just, and it sounds cliche in retrospect, I've just followed what I love because I couldn't have been at that party. I would have loved to have been, be a lawyer or something. It's just like that, that wasn't the thing that called me. And this other thing that called me set me free in a lot of ways. And I just followed that.

And I had, you know, you got to put a lot of voices out of your head to stay the course. Guys, what's up? Welcome back to the Skinny Confidential, him and her show. That clip was from our guest of the show today, Tate Fletcher. On this episode, like a lot of episodes, we are covering a lot of ground, talking to somebody who's lived an extremely full life from fighter, stuntman, actor, speaker. He's done it all. So this episode covers a lot about how to live life on your terms and cover a lot of ground. That's one of my favorite subjects, Michael, living life

on my own terms. What about you? It is my only subject that I'm interested in. I feel like you should get that tattooed on your chest after you get my name tattooed on your ass. You've got a lot of tattoo requests lately. I think my tattoos are growing on you. No, I want Lauren with a tiny heart on your butt. And I'm not joking around. I'm being dead serious. The ass is one of the most painful places to get tattooed. Perfect. Because that's where all the nerve endings are. You know when someone smacks you in the ass and you feel it? Never heard of a better place to get a tattoo of my name. All right, Lauren. Well, ass tattoo incoming. Okay. I don't think I'll be sharing that on social, but maybe. Speaking of things that are private, let's talk about how we've been making it a goal to do a

social media blackout. So this is something that some of you guys have DM'd me about. I have put an intention out there in the ether to do a social media blockout at least two times a month. And I'll take a day or two, usually it's Saturday or Sunday, to just get off social. That means no Instagram stories, no Instagram, no Facebook. Put it away and actually read. And there's something about reading a real book and actually letting my phone die. And yeah, I let my phone die. The airplane mode thing never works. That just like it gets, it's vibey, you know? I'm on a mission for, to get to a place where everybody that listens to this podcast doesn't necessarily ever need to, or want to listen to

it again. They just have all the tools to go and crush it on their own. I think like, you know, of course, listen to us. We appreciate it. And I want everybody to enjoy the show. But even more, I want people to not need to use us as a resource and just go out there and get after it. Yeah. And so my advice is take one or two days, maybe three or four a month, pick the days, put it in your calendar and write social media blackout. And you know, I'm all about a color code. So this is in black on my calendar. And I really wake up and just put my phone away for the whole day.

There's something so liberating about it. You guys, I'm telling you, I connect with my husband. I have a book. I hang out with my dogs. I cook. I clean. It's the works. I've been doing this experiment where I

don't even know if I've told you about this. No, you haven't. Where I'll go and I'll leave my phone like in the office charging. I'll just leave it there and I'll go for like four hours and I'll go like, if I have to go like, cause I had to go run a bunch of errands. You just leave it there. I don't even have a phone on me. Hold on. I feel like that's a lie. Cause I called you and you said you were on an errand. No, no, no. I didn't have, I didn't do it today, but I've done it. Yeah, I did. Um, but yeah, it's a, it's a weird experiment because called you and you said you were on an errand. No, no, no. I didn't have, I didn't do today, but I've done it. Yeah, I do it. But yeah, it's a weird experiment because you're sitting there like, wait a minute, where's my map quest?

Wait a minute. Where's my email? Wait a minute. I can't call anybody. It's weird, but it's how we used to live. You know, the first, I would say the first 15 years of our lives, Lauren, we didn't have, we had no phones, right? So we're just running around.

Remember when we back in the day, when you go, you had to page me to get ahold of me. Remember when you used to page me every single morning at 7am? What did you tell everyone? I said, right. One, four, three, which means I love you. Right. Every morning at seven. I think you could include the signs too, but maybe you just did one, four, three, but that's a throwback for all the young listeners. When Lauren and I used to have to get ahold of each other, we have to page each other and page the pay phone that we were at in the mall. And then you'd have to, if you were at a landline, then you had to call the pay phone. Remember we used to fall asleep on the phone with each other?

Yeah. That's vintage. And then our parents would pick up the phone and we would pretend we were sleeping and breathing. And they're just, it was just, it was kind of weird. I gotta be honest. I fell asleep like a hundred times when you were on the phone with me. Well, I probably didn't have the most interesting topics back then. Yikes. I've become a lot more interesting in my old age when I do say so myself.

Speaking of interesting, there's another tip that you gave me that I think the audience will love. You actually told me to schedule reading time in my calendar seven days a week. So now I actually have reading time at the end of the night scheduled in my phone and it's become a habit. So I think that's important, but I've updated mine. Oh, okay. And I probably can give all the listeners that have heard me give that tip an update. I think more importantly than scheduling time, because I was finally, sometimes if I scheduled time, it was a little bit too vague.

So not only scheduling the time, but the amount of pages or chapters you read. Oh, come on, Michael. Are you fucking kidding me? So like, yeah. So like an easy place to start to say you're going to read 25 pages a day. Okay. You know, listen, if you're reading Harry Potter or something, it's fine if you're reading Harry Potter, but like, I'm not reading Harry Potter. No, not you, but anybody get through a little quicker. Um, but yeah, like set a benchmark. Like Taylor's reading playboy. So he can do 25 pages of that. He's doing

about 2,500 pages of that. But no, I would say, yeah, set a benchmark of not just time, but pages and see, and also audit. It's just like, I spent an hour and I got through this amount of pages and see, and then you can kind of benchmark it. That's what I do. Always teaching me stuff. Anyway, speaking about learning a lot of cool shit, uh, this week on the show, the caveman coffee master himself, Tate Fletcher, this guy has lived an extremely full life in a very quick amount of time. Um, from being from being a professional fighter, a stuntman, an actor, speaker, podcast host. He's kind of done it all. You guys have probably seen him.

I don't think I don't on the show. I don't think there's ever been a character in movie history who has been killed brutally more times on TV or film more than anyone. Wasn't he in Breaking Bad? He's been in Breaking Bad, Jumanji, Westworld, John Wick. He's been in a million different things. The new show Barry, he's one of the henchmen in Barry. Love that. You know what kind of guy Tate reminds me of? Someone that would have their wife's name tattooed on their ass. Tate is a bad motherfucker, my friends. Tate's cool. He's hot. He's chill. But you know what? He's so nice too. Listen, nothing more attractive in a man. Am I being attractive to men? Nothing more attractive than a guy that is a complete badass, also extremely humble, down to earth. And to top it

off, one of the founders of one of my favorite, if not favorite, coffee companies, Caveman Coffee, which will blow your life up. Here's the hack, you guys, the TSC hack. Get the canned cold brew, okay? You've seen me do this all the time on my Instagram stories. Get a frother. Froth your almond milk, throw some cinnamon in there, perhaps some inulin, which is artichoke fiber. You could even throw some mushroom four-sigmatic in there, froth it all up, pour your delicious caveman coffee cold brew over ice, make sure it's the nitro one, and then put the milk on top. It is the best coffee you will ever have. It will become your routine. I'm telling you, there's something about this caveman coffee. It's delicious.

With that guys, welcome one of the baddest motherfuckers to do it. Tate Fletcher to the Skinny Confidential, him and her show. Enjoy. Quick break because I have a question, Michael Bostic. What's the question, Lauren Everts? You know what's comfortable? Damn right I know what's comfortable. And it's one of our favorite partners. Back for more action on the Skinny Confidential, him and her show. Casper, the Casper mattress designed by humans for humans.

Veterans of this show, guys. We have talked about Casper for a long time. Many happy Casper sleepers. And here's the deal. You spend a third of your life sleeping. I am such a sleeper. I like my eight hours. I need my beauty rest.

And this is important. What you're sleeping on and laying down on is serious. You know what I mean? What I like about Casper products is because they're designed to mimic human curves. And this is important. What you're sleeping on and laying down on is serious. You know what I mean? What I like about Casper products is because they're designed to mimic human curves. And one of my favorite parts, breathable for all you hot sleepers. It's designed to help you sleep cool and regulate body temperature throughout the entire night. Guys, there are over 20,000 reviews. On average, 4.8 stars.

That's near perfect. And it's because this product is amazing. And they have four different mattresses. They have the wave, the essential, the hybrid Casper and the hybrid wave. So the wave is going to give you premium support and that's going to mirror the natural shape of your body. The essential has a streamlined design at a price that won't keep you up at night. You know what I mean? The hybrid combines pressure relief. We love this. And then Casper also offers a wide array of other products. So they have pillows and sheets all to ensure a better night's sleep. Guys, we've had Casper mattresses, many high performers that have come on the show, naming just a few. Rich Roll, Mr. Rich Roll,

sleeps on a Casper mattress because they're incredible. Like Lauren said, a very, very affordable price is when you want to put one in your bedroom, maybe a guest room. Treat your guests right with a Casper. Love it. And to give you peace of mind, you can be sure of your purchase with Casper's 100 night risk-free sleep on it trial. I love that. 100 nights risk-free. So even if you don't like it, send it back. So for those of you that are looking for a new mattress, excited about Casper as much as we are, get $50 towards select mattresses by visiting casper.com slash skinny and using skinny at checkout terms and conditions apply again, get $50 towards select mattresses by visiting casper.com slash skinny and using skinny at checkout terms and conditions do apply guys.

Enjoy this. Can't wait for you to check out that unboxing experience and get a good night's sleep. This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her. Tate Fletcher in the studio. I don't, you know, you just came through our office for the first time. I don't think I've ever seen a reaction to this. So, you know, you have to walk down the catwalk with all these women. I don't think I've seen a reaction like that from the women in a long time. It's daunting a little bit.

I felt like, you know, you're in high school and you're walking down the lunch corridor and all the cool kids are up against the wall, just kind of looking at it. It's not unlike that. This is daunting though. I look at what you do and what, like, I can't imagine getting in and wearing this

and not being horribly anxious every day. Like there's all these people that are relying on me to know where this ship's going. Yeah, it's a little nerve wracking at times. That's why I have that, you know, that side entrance I took you in after that sometimes I can bypass and go in there and hide out a little bit. Anyways, brother, welcome to the show. We're going to, we're going to go a lot of different places for this one. And can you describe what you're wearing? I mean, I guess we've got to, we've got to explain the glasses anyway, anybody visually I've got. So Ditas are my favorite brand of glasses and

they were my favorite brand of glasses because I saw them in a store off of, it was in Vegas, and I'd just gotten off the equalizer and I was like, you know what? I'm going to splurge. And I remember when I bought a $70 pair of sunglasses once and it was the biggest spend I ever did. And then I saw these sunglasses and I thought, those are my rent. And I go, you know what? We need to have those. And then I saw these sunglasses and I thought, those are my rent. And I go, you know what? We need to have those. And then I lost them swimming. But I documented them all very, very well. And the dude from Dita reaches out to me and he's like, you know what? I've got a throwback pair. We don't make them anymore. They came in. And so he just sent me these last week.

And that's one of the, if there's no other reason to podcast or to be out in the world, it's to let people know your woes and maybe they can help you. Maybe they could send you some glasses. I mean, there's not a lot of men that can pull off the glasses you're pulling off. I've heard that. I've heard that on the interwebs. I mean, I don't think I could hold a candle to this. Look, I would try and it just wouldn't be the same impact.

You do have a collection of 500 sunglasses and we have to go through why I like each one, why I don't like each one. It's a whole thing. And now I feel like you're going to bring these home, too. Well, I got a weird-shaped head. It's small, and I can't find the glasses that fit, you know? I've got to be big, because this head is so fat that, like, most don't work. I mean, you're big. Yeah.

I would say larger than life. It's considerable. How tall are you? 6'4". 6'4". Yeah. Okay. 6'4", full beard beard waxed mustache you got yeah

i came in direct today i like it i like when it's erect i think the last time i saw you it wasn't erect no not erect no more relaxed it was more relaxed had been a long day okay so let's let's go back a little bit because i mean let's let's you've had so many different experiences in your life i mean i just was saying i was on the plane last night, Lauren, I don't know if I told you this, we were flying back from Charleston and I turned on that show Barry and it was the scene when the guy was getting his tooth filed down and lo and behold, you were standing behind him as one of the, what would you call it? The henchman. We'd kidnapped him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then I saw you were in John Wick, you're in Jumanji. So people, you have a movie career, obviously, but also for a while you were a professional fighter. Is that correct?

Yeah. Can you, so let's, let's go back. I'm jumping all over. Let's go back. Where'd you grow up? Where are you from? What's your story? Grew up in Alpena, Michigan, the shore of Lake Huron and Southern Michigan for years and years. And I moved out to Santa Fe, New Mexico when I was like 21 years old and went to a college there called St. John's College. And it was a classical literature program that I studied there. Shortly after that, I got into stick fighting with a guy named Arlen Sanford. And he was a founding member of a group called the Dog Brothers.

And they would fight on the summer solstice and winter solstice in Hermosa Beach at a park. And then regular ass civilians would come down in lawn chairs and they would circle the park with their coolers and stuff. Maybe much like you would go and view the Confederate war or something like that back in the day. And they're just watched like 15 or 25 guys scrap and, and they knew we would get together there like that and family members and whatnot. And so that's where my fight career, as it were, really started was doing these stick fights with minimal. I'm sure for the audience that's a little confused, what is specifically stick fighting? Like a 30, 35 raton stick, about that length.

When it cracks, it can split your skin just because the swelling can be so incumbent quickly that the skin just separates naturally. Not like there's a fracture of the skin from the stick itself, but just from your body's reaction, knockouts, broken fingers. You could suffer a lot. What the guys started it for was they wanted to see what the efficacy of their sport was. And so they go, wow, we're all armored up. Would it really have mattered when I backhanded you? Would you have been able to come in and crash and all that? And so they wanted to find those answers out. And so I was part of the testing for finding those answers out, I guess, and was lucky enough to kind of do that. And the whole ethos of it, it sounds crazy in a way,

but the whole ethos of it was really a tribe mentality of like, these are your brothers and you're going to go to war with them to come out stronger so that you can help the tribe in the event of a real threat was kind of the thought pattern of the guys coming ahead of me. And the other thing that was super interesting was that, you know, they've got a line. One of the guys says, you know, it's interesting what self you're defending when a stick's flying by your head, you know, is this, am I saving my face or my ass? You know, you only get to make the one choice. And so if you're out of your presence in that moment, if you can get drawn out,

you're unconscious and you need to put the pain somewhere else and you need to stay present throughout that interaction until it finishes. Have you always been into fighting? Because when you meet you in person, you're like warm and fuzzy and not sort of what you would expect, which I love people like that because I love when someone throws me a plot twist. I feel like I throw easy plot twists just looking this way. And they're like, wow, he's literate. I mean, you look like a modern day pirate, like for sure. Right. Yeah. Yeah. That's a whole nother aspect, right?

You wouldn't expect it because like Lauren said, you're like a very kind, soft-spoken guy when you meet, but also don't fuck around. Don't you think that the most able people are like that it's like all the guys that that's what i loved about hanging out with fighters all the time is because there's no there's no mark to prove for anybody not in that way our realm was different and so everybody is just super cool because they're sure and it's not until you get around other people that are unsure and think that it matters it's also does it matter you know this is are unsure and think that it matters. It's also, does it matter? You know, there's another whole question. And for me, like my expression with fighting had just been like, I wanted to become a full rounded person.

Like it was a lot for young angst and all that too. But at the same time, it's like, I wanted, you know, I thought if you're intellectually advanced, it's one sided. If you're emotionally advanced, it's one side. If you're physically advanced, one side. It's like, you need to kind of get all those emotional, mental, and physical, and spiritual things in unison. And if one's out of balance, it's chaos. And that's kind of how I started looking at my life, I guess. How do you get all those cylinders going at the same time? Because

I can imagine how much energy fighting would take from you. I mean, you run a business, you're an actor, you're doing all these different things these different things. How do you, how do you keep all those cylinders running at the same time? I need advice there. A lot of coffee. And I guess, you know, it's, it's the thing about, I'm a loser. Okay. It's my big admission. And I was like, this isn't going to work out well, I'm going to be on welfare in prison. And that's probably how the, how the story ends. And it wasn't that way. And all I found out is I was tough and I would keep trying.

And I wanted to shoot higher. I wanted to make myself as good a man as I could be. I wanted to be uncommon. And so in those things, I chose things that were necessarily for an ending that looked like the endings other people were looking for. Other people were looking for jobs to get X amount of money or this or that. And I really just, and it sounds cliche in retrospect. I've just followed what I love because I couldn't have been at that party. I would have loved to have been be a lawyer or something is just like that.

That wasn't the thing that called me. And this other thing that called me set me free in a lot of ways. And I just followed that. And I had, you know, you got to put out a lot of voices out of your head to stay the course, because all those voices are going to pull you off your square. You know, everybody's going to say, oh, are you sure you've got such a good potential over here or over, you know, this is safer, this is security. And so I never really traded my security for my happiness or for my joy. And I did one time, I started a roofing company in Denver, Colorado, and we did construction. We did hail damage roofs and siding and gutters and paint. And we just did

everything. And me and a friend of mine from Detroit, we just went and hustled. And we sold like a million dollars in six months. We did great. He's still doing it today. This is 15 years later, 20 years later. What I found that was money wasn't joy. And all of that obsession towards driving towards this goal was taking me away from myself in a way. And I'd had just enough jujitsu at that time that I was like, I just need to go back to where my joy is because you can't eat money. And that's how it was for me at that time. And the timing came up and I just threw myself into fighting and I go, I just want to see where this can go for me. And I want to find out who I am under these austere conditions when

you're going to look bad. You're going to, you're, you're actively going out to lose face in front of people and see how you behave in that way. And it was just a deeper exploration like that. And so the thing that, I mean, what kept me going is like, I was in love with the things I was doing. And so that passion kept me going. It's like, it's the thing that falls away when you're pre-workout isn't going to work. It's like, that's the shitty thing about, I need to stay motivated. It's like, yeah. And then what, when you're not, you've got to be in love with the service of the thing, I think. And that's where it was. How many years were you fighting professionally? About like seven years or something like that. and then and then intermittently during that time too like bodyguard work because it wasn't like it is now even and like you can

you know like jeremy horn back in the day he would fight 30 times in a month sometimes i mean he was fighting all the time like he has like over 100 fights why is it they just won't let you do that anymore well yeah it's and you can't for a thousand reasons for marketing reasons for a thousand reasons it doesn't make sense. But in the day, if you wanted to do that and make a living, you had to, the paychecks weren't high enough. You had to fight a ton of times. And so it would be every weekend you would see Jeremy Horne or one of these old school dudes fighting all the time.

And so I started looking at that too, because I was at the end date of that. For me, I started thinking about where do you go next? And that's a death knell for an athlete like that. I mean, that takes such a toll on you, man. And you're a competition athlete, and then you have the doubt in your head of how long does this party go on. And maybe it doesn't go on very much longer. Or if it does, it's kind of like drinking. Like if you see somebody drinking and they stop drinking when the bottle decides, it looks awful, right?

If you get proactive about it, you can have a whole nother life. And that's kind of the way like these high adrenaline sports are similar in that way. I think for someone like me, who doesn't know a lot about fighting, how hard is it on the body? And I mean, I would assume it's hard. Can you give us exact examples? Like I want to know specific worst thing is concussions. The worst thing is head injuries, stuff that you don't know about and that you just fight through and you push through because you don't know the damage. It's not realized until maybe years later. They don't know a whole lot about CTE.

It's still a little bit dicey. Yeah, very dicey. I mean, I just was with a professional semi-pro soccer player yesterday, and she had been knocked out and concussed really badly. And she was like, I can't afford to do that again to my brain. And, you know, that's just kind of the rigor of the day in a, in a, in fighting, you're getting multiple sets of brain damage all day long. When you're sparring, you're doing that a couple of times a week, maybe the hardest damage. I don't, I guess I just don't look at it that way. I didn't even think it was violent when I was doing it. I had to be out of it for a couple of years before I went back in.

I saw a practice ago. This is very aggressive what you guys are doing. But I just, you know, I just didn't think there was anything. I would take your head and smash it into my knee and think, I'm not trying to hurt you, though. I'm just trying to exact this thing that I learned about. I'm just trying to perfect my art, as it were. And so it's kind of more like that. And the pain became a thing about you just do something else with the

pain. Your foot breaks, you know, you dislocate a finger. It's like, you have to just deal with that at another time because there's a hyper present consequence coming at you right now. That's going to be a decider in the rest of your life. It's interesting when you, when you talk to people and talk to fighters, I've had some experiences now with them, you know, the normal person on the street, when they get in a fight, full panic, a lot of adrenaline is kicking in and they're swinging their arms everywhere. There's no, but like fighters are pretty Zen people. They're not, you know, they, they, the same way you just described it. They're looking like I'm kneeing you in the face because this is the move. This is how it's done. Like, this is the,

this is the practice behind it. And I don't think a lot of people understand. I don't think understand that mentality if they've never been on, on the inside of a ring. Except that they can, because it's like what you were talking about with the plot twist, right? We get lulled into a rhythm with music, with whatever, and with fighting. And then we change that rhythm so we can score. And so in that, there's a dance that happens and you're inside this kind of ether of a flow with this other person that can only exist with you and him and these high consequences at stake kind of. And so in that, you do, you learn how can I, I mean, that has been a direct thing that I've, it's been a mantra of how do I find placidity within the

storm? How do I remain unchanged in this chaos around me? And that's the goal. Is it devastating when the romance breaks up, when the fight's over, when you start to realize, oh, fuck, I need to pivot and I need to do it quick and I need to be methodical about it? What is that? I can only imagine the internal struggle there. It's the problem of saying this is what I am.

And then if I am not this thing, what am I? Am I the hole in the donut now? Like, what have I become if I'm not? I mean, I would imagine it's like through motherhood or anything else. And your kids go off like, God, who am I now? It's like, I've been doing this thing. And, and in our world now being, you know, a different generation than our parents, we have a lot of different jobs. So we, we change that and we pivot a lot. And so I look at like, how do I pivot with some foresight now? How does this lead into that? And for me, it's like my whole life is just married kind of beautifully in that way because I didn't try to force anything. I don't think I, I just started

to serve the thing that was in front of me. So like jujitsu was in front of me all my life. And so I'm doing that. And then a guy comes in that loves jujitsu and movies are his whole life. And so then we kind of take off on another course with that. And that started a whole another beautiful arc of my life that I thought, man, I want to start this earlier than later. I don't want to take any more fights. After I met Darren Prescott, I was just like, I feel like this is the way that I can go and that I can achieve that same kind of that they get when they go, are you ready? Are you ready? Because when they say action, it's a real similar thing for me.

How many movies have you been in at this point? I have no idea. So many. Yeah, well, yeah, a lot. I mean, I'm looking at the list here. John Wick, Jumanji, Two Guns, The Accountant, Last Stand, Kid, We're the Millers. I told you I saw you on Barry last night. Yeah.

You were with Mel Gibson, Bloodfather. Yeah, he was great, man. Mel Gibson's a trip. What a fantastic dude just to watch perform. I don't know how he is personally. I was only on set with him one day, but my God. I mean, listen. You look at mastery.

I love his movies. Yeah. I mean, you can't knock the movies. I don't know personally either. Do you have a favorite movie? That I've done? Yeah. My favorite stuff I did was I did a Disney show for kids.

Oh my God, that's so sweet. And to have a nine-year-old come up and have adoration and their parents go, go ahead and ask him. They're like, were you in Jesse? And they're just in love with you. You're like, God, this is great. I can see why my parenthood is awesome. Breaking Bad, Westworld.

Yeah, Breaking Bad. I mean, you've worked on some cool projects, man. How do you, so how do you- I got to get a SAG award for Breaking Bad. I got to go on. I mean, it was crazy. You know, it's been crazy. It's really pinching myself stuff, Michael.

Lauren, you know, he was in Waco too. I know you love that show. I love Waco. You do? Yeah, I wish they had more shows like that on television. I like that. Your IMDb page is just... That exposed the federal government for murdering all of us American citizens.

Yeah. It's an endless scroll here on your IMDb page here. You guys watch that TV show. If you have not watched it, I'm telling you, it is so juicy. You will not, your eyes will be glued to the top. And it's historical. It's like living through that.

You're like, yeah, that was all like that, interwoven like that. Scary, man. That's the dark arts of the government coming out onto citizens and going, here we are, here's what's really happening. Yeah. So being in this space now for a while, here we are. Here's what's really happening. Yeah. So being in this space now for a while, I mean, you've seen a lot of transitions.

How has the landscape changed now with the rise of like on-demand, you know, Netflix, all these different. There's more work than ever. And now, you know, I hadn't really started looking at it until I started thinking about that. I was on a Netflix show a little while ago. I don't know what they're going to call it yet, but it's with Jamie Foxx. And I thought they're a startup. And I never thought about that before. I was like, wait a minute. They, they were, they were slanging CDs, DVDs, right. And in the mail and go and go ahead and choose. I was like, who's going to do this. And then they pivot and they,

and they go full streaming and, and then now they're looking to get bought. You know who, you know, who else said? The, um, the executives at Blockbuster, they sat around a table and they said, nah, people are never going to do this. That'll never be a threat. Yeah. We all know how that story is. So yeah, there's more, more work than ever and more creativity than ever. And it's a, it's a beautiful thing because really to, to win and to make a stamp, I think you need to, you need to produce your own things. You need to put your art into the world.

And there's a huge thing. I really am a big fan of people that stay the course and people that kind of fight the fight to pay their dues, that don't try to jump in too soon. It's like sharpen your sword for a while and all that. And in that conversation, there's people want to go fast. People want to, I need to get mine. I need to grow. I need to get it. You're just not ready, man. And there's ways that that'll fail you so much. And so the thing I think about all the time and that I pray is that, you know, you get all the things that you want in spades. So you can see that's not what you're lacking. You know, those aren't where the holes are going to be in your life, you know, and look to be of service and where you can be the most useful. And so even the,

wherever my life goes, I just try to keep those tenants. Like, am I being useful? What's my purpose here? Do I have one? If not, I need to be somewhere else. Like, and kind of marrying it in those ways, I think makes a lot more sense than trying to be results oriented on the outset of it. And so when I say I'm shocked about how it ended up, I just came at it trying to be helpful and useful. And then I ended up at the Super Bowl is how it feels like. Do you think that you really understand that theory of, you know, not cutting the line because of fighting? It sounds like fighting has been the foundation for you to launch all these other things off of it. And, you know, with acting, like you don't cut the line. You think that that has to

do with fighting and all that. If it's fighting, you try to cut the line, they're just going to knock your head off your shoulders. You're in a wolf pack. And so people are correcting you in one of the most basic ways we can get corrected, right? And you're learning who you are in that way. And I think it brings up a wonderful point. Like we're all, I mean, in a pack here, right? And, and this idea of it's, it's interesting on online where you, you know, you've seen careers rise and fall out of nothing and there's no more, there's not graciousness. There's just, did they do it right? Or did they do it wrong? And we're very scrutinizing about that. And, and I think it's a, it's a damage because it doesn't leave any room for us to learn in a lot of ways. And there's a lot of room in there and you need those times and you're cutting

your teeth and you're learning because you got to make mistakes because they're everywhere. And if you don't make them, if you don't make them in a controlled environment, you're going to make them when it counts. And that's unacceptable at a certain point. I call growing too quickly or overnight astronaut syndrome. It's astronauts when they come back from the moon, they get really depressed. Do they go to the moon? Still up for discussion. If they went to the moon, they come back and they feel really depressed.

Because when you've gone to the moon, what else is there? When you've gone that fast. With social media, I've seen a lot of people go viral or grow overnight whether it's in my industry or your industry or whatever and it actually ends up hurting you because you haven't laid the bricks or waited in line well we talk about rogan right and you you know the guy but a lot of people you heard of him a couple a couple podcasts later but everyone's like, why is he always being talked about in the podcast space? And why is he so big?

And it's like, you guys, he's been doing this. He was a pioneer in the space. He's put in the 10, however many years, thousands. Consistency is the thing, right? He hasn't skipped a line. And he's five, five days a week, seven days a week. Sometimes it's like, it's insane. Go ahead and try to keep up.

Because I mean, the guy's got, I don't know. seven days a week sometimes it's like it's insane go ahead and try to keep up yeah because i mean the guy's got i i don't know we live together for a minute and i've never seen anybody research like he does and i've known joe for a long time and he just he's a stickler for he would never say an untruth if he could help it and he researches his ass off so that he doesn't get in that position he's like i would like to be as well informed so i could be as helpful as possible. Those are kind of the two tenets he goes by. And then he, and then, you know, he wants to be as funny as possible, but yeah, it's a, it's an amazing thing what just some time will do. And, and that's the thing too, is that you learn how to work hard for nothing. And if you can learn how to work hard for nothing, man, when the juice starts to

trickle in, oh, it's going to feel like it's just raining juju beers. It's just like amazing, you know? I mean, that's the lesson. We were talking about this the other day, like Dear Media is still a startup and we're sitting here. There's not, I haven't taken a single dollar in salary since I started the thing. And I think like people ask why and I'm like, because I'd rather put in, because I found other ways to support myself. And I'd rather put in the time and take that extra resource and put it into the team and building and being able to scale. And that's a lot of people, they want to pull everything off the table, right? When they get started and then they get, they get upset if they can. I'm like, well, you're never going to, you're never going to make something this great thing. You might be okay, but it's not going to be this big thing that you want to create. You know? I think it starts

with your intention. If you go into acting or you go into fighting or you go into blogging or you go into a business and your intention is just to monetize, people smell it. It's turn off. So you have to go into your craft or your art, I think, this is like my opinion, with a really strong intention of your why. Speaking of intention, your coffee company. Okay, guys, I'm sitting here drinking this out of my pink Starbucks lacquered cup. It has a little bit of cinnamon in it. And my personal favorite is this nitro cold brew. I love it. It's crisp. We were talking about earlier. How did this come about? Because this seems like it's your new form of art. This is the most badass coffee company in the world. Thank you very much. I started off, I was designing. My first business

really was a t-shirt company and I started making it when I was, maybe not my first business, but it was around fighting. I was like, man, there's not any t-shirts in here. And then every t-shirt possible since then has come up now. But I always loved designing. I love the way things look. I love the aesthetic of things. And that was always really important to me. And then I loved all the quality of things. And then my partner, Keith Jardine, who's another fighter, training partner for a long time. We've been friends. And Lacey Mackey, who was a CrossFit Games athlete for a minute and then has a whole other branch of a production company.

And we're all partners in this Caveman Coffee. And we just thought, we're going to just do this little thing. We'll roll a truck on the weekends and go to different events. And then we accidentally started a company that now we've had for, it's been over five years now. Caveman was born out of a single estate coffee, out of a high passion for having the highest quality flavors and tastes and sustainability and treatment of people. We wanted a high ethic brand and we did that. We went to seek that out and that was kind of what our mission statement was, was we wanted sustainable nutrition for everybody and we were all in love with coffee. So that was

kind of the first idea of our parent company, Pirate Life, who holds Caveman Coffee. And that kind of had come about because of all the kind of fuckery, if you will, around corporations and government and the intermixing of those two. And it seemed like to me that we were only really getting a shadow of corporations expressed through government. And so they're pushing where we go and what's safe and what's not. And a lot of it's not. And so this idea of pirate your life back and buyer beware and know where your things are coming from and shop local and be sustainable. And all these things became important to us. And those were kind of the ethos and values of our company when we started.

And then we were one of the first to market with cold brew nitro. And that wasn't a shelf-stable product that time. Now we're a shelf-stable product. And so now we're looking at going into groceries and all that. We've been just direct-to-consumer. And the whole thing has been an education. The whole thing has been like, oh, now you're in a university of this nature. And it's just been a wild ride, man.

It's been a lot of fun. And it really sticks with me that like, whatever it is, the thing that you're doing, it's not that thing. It's for the thing that you're learning while you're doing this thing. That's going to help you tomorrow and next week. And because, you know, after enough career injuries or if I get this movie, this is going to make all the difference. There's nothing that makes all the difference. It all matters. And it all doesn't matter, you know, wear it loose and just pay attention to it with love. And I think that

great things can grow out of that. And, and that's kind of been what our coffee company has been. So, I mean, it's the best fucking coffee out there. I have, I think, I don't know if that's how we got connected or if it's through Joe or how, but I just, I think I heard about this coffee on Rogan and I was like, I'll try it out. And the first one I did was the cold brew. Then I got the, the saber tooth rose, which what a bad-ass name. And then the mammoth. And it's literally all I drink now. I mean, I don't drink other coffee anymore. If I can help it. Here's the move. For my specific audience, here's the move. Like the girls that are listening, get a can of the nitro, get a frother. Get a white frother. There's a really

cute one on Amazon. I have Anne the Skinny Was Like page. Then get almond milk, but make sure the almond milk only has one or two ingredients in it. You don't want to go crazy and add all this shit to it. You don't think they'll just like it alone? No, they'll like it alone, but here's like, I just got to get a whole thing involved. Well, you well you don't you could have it alone too but if you like almond milk in your coffee then add a little bit of cinnamon maybe some cardamom if you're a specific bitch like me put it in the frother mix it up and add it over ice it is so fucking good and if it's a friday night you could add vodka if you want bam done or kalua maybe or kalua or you could just drink it alone it's fucking good over ice, too.

I pound them. I mean, if you drink this, you're not going to need much else. How many a day do you drink? I mean, I only drink a couple nitros a day, but then I start the day with like a saber tooth roast, like a darker roast. Mix it with MCT oil and sea salt. I like to put sea salt. I've got some nice black lava salt I've been messing with lately. I need to get some black lava salt.

And a little bit of red chili. And then I do an immersion blender. Mine's not cute at all. It looks like you're in a war zone, but it gets a nice froth. And that's what I love. Tate, when you were talking and I was thinking to myself, this guy looks like somebody that would drink pure gunpowder. And you're like, he's a frothy bitch too. What is up? Did you design the packaging? A lot of it was me. And a lot of it was a collaboration. We had stuff like this, these little artists that we get. Some of them are, some of the drawings this guy from Finland does for us, Gustav Gustafsson. And he does these line drawings that are just beautiful and phenomenal. But this matte look that we've wanted, keeping with the turquoise and the white and the black, whatever we do, we just kind of wanted that, a white, a really kind of standard, beautiful

look that draws the eye in. And then I wanted that gold pop of our CCs and all that. It sounds like with your coffee company, you launched fast and adjusted to consumer behavior, which Michael always says. Can you speak on some of the struggles along the way that happened? 100%. Yeah, we'd love to hear. I love it. And you can get as specific as possible. Okay. There's a great thing called Expo West. If you've got a product, right. And so it's, I don't know, 13 or 15,000 different

vendors that take over Anaheim and multiple halls. It's crazy. It's, it's, it's a lot. And we went there and people go there, you bring your widget in your hand and you go, hey, marketplace, I would love it if you liked my widget that I made with my heart and soul and all my thoughts. And I put all my insecurities here in front of you. And then they go, yeah, we love that except, oh, this won't work and that won't work and this won't work. And so then you- Kick you right in the nuts. By exposing yourself to that public, you learn what your frailties are. And then you have the opportunity, if you can live, to fix those and then bring it back. And they go, yeah, yeah, yeah, but now this and this law changed, so this has to look like this.

But my point in all of it is it's simpler than that. You throw your hat over the fence, and then you go get your goddamn hat, and you walk the road that's in front of you there. Because the thing is, it's like going to the gym. It's like I want to get in shape hat and you walk the road that's in front of you there because the thing is, is nothing's, it's like going to the gym. It's like, I want to get in shape before I go to the gym. It just doesn't happen, man. You just have to go to the gym and do the thing. And jujitsu was like that for me,

where people wanted to, you know, they wanted to make a big splash when they got there. So I'm going to be in the best physical shape ever. And it's like, you'll never be in jujitsu shape unless you do jujitsu. Like that's, the adrenaline's different. The pressure is different. Everything's different.

I thought I was in good shape until I started going to Joe's gym. I was doing the yard. I've been doing Muay Thai. And I thought I was doing all right. And I got there. I'm like, there are women kicking my ass in there. It's a trip. It's a trip.

Women learn way better too than men, by the way. I think it's the flexibility. I've coached a lot in my life. And you think it's the flexibility. That's funny next thing you know i'm getting kicked in the head of this motherfucker the flexibility it's our brain it's the ego it's the brain it's it's because women i don't start crying women can learn because you're not supposed to yeah you're not supposed to be tough or strong or this or that little boys boys are fucked. You're 11 years old. You're supposed to know flamenco, ballroom dancing, Spanish, how to ride a horse, karate, and you don't. And so you're left with two choices. I can bullshit or I can get after it. And you can see clearly who makes

what choice in all those ways. Women are just going, I just want to know what moving correctly would look like. They're open to it. And they'll go slowly and they'll move correctly. And then they'll have power. Power will come. Men will try to have power and they'll never move correctly. So they'll just train poor reps for maybe years sometimes. I mean, and so it is, it's easier. Women are, and also I just got the chance to watch these 11 year olds wrestle.

It's devastating for the boys because women are stronger, faster they think better at a young age men until they're 13 14 you're not going to be stronger than the girls it's just that true it's just true that's just how it is little girls are savage on the mats when you see them out there way stronger and and then we get worried about different things and whatever but yeah i mean for mean, for me, it was super humbling. Cause I was like, okay, when I, when I was younger,

I did a lot of boxing. And also those are Joe Schilling students. Okay. So of course they're going to be devastated. And he's a fucking beast himself. He's a, he's a fucking animal. That guy.

Um, but no, I mean, and it's a whole different stance than maybe Muay Thai is completely different than boxing. You don't have to think about legs and knees and elbows coming out of nowhere. But anyways, it's just, it's humbling.'t have to think about legs and knees and elbows coming out of nowhere but anyways it's humbling I have to give a hot tip

since Michael's been doing Muay Thai we've had the best sex because men that build their legs it gives you testosterone you probably know this and testosterone I'm like build the legs get out of here and then he's in the guy

maybe it's that and it's the caveman and i'm just it's the caveman and the fighting like go work the testosterone in the legs and it also gets them out of my hair in the morning so i can make my coffee you go early i go super early yeah i get there at six what is your morning you know why because you know where it is it's all the way down there like i'm here all day so like to go after if like say i want to go at six it's a nightmare he needs a lot of caveman coffee. What's your morning routine? Like specifically, what is there a certain time you wake up? Do you have to try not to look at my phone for an hour, which is hard. And it changes the way my life is when I do. And when I don't, it's a market difference. It's not like try vitamin C of C of vitamin C makes you feel

better. And you're like, I don't know, maybe it works. It's like it a hundred percent works. Like just that one hour grace period is like huge. And I try to use that in a sauna and then I'll start to do stretching there. And so I'll be in the sauna for like 10 minutes, drink water. Then I'll go and I'll make coffee and meditate for either 12 seconds or 10 minutes, depending where I'm at that day. And then I start to look at my emails and then I get after it that way and try to dig in there. And then I have markers for the day. I just want to get in a yoga class a day.

I'd like to do some weight training maybe today. I have different markers that I want to get these three things done so that I can go to sleep without feeling suicidal at night. And that's kind of how I mark it. I mark it all on my emotional presence. I mean, I think that's smart because some people get so rigid with it and it's like, maybe some days you don't need it as much. Sometimes you need it more. I was so rigid as a professional athlete that I don't have any desire to be that rigid again.

And I look at that and I think about think about god these guys are out there getting it and it's like yeah he's been an accountant until he's 32 and now he just found out about spartan races good good job go get him buddy or whatever but it's like me with my it's like me discovering well it's it's just it's just different when that when you're gonna go and put that on the line and it's consequential it's like that is literally all you should be thinking about it's like there's guys that used to work two three jobs and all that and fight but like if you're fighting if you're in war if you're it matters something that matters like that where you're putting yourself at like that's the thing you need to be worried about doing yeah because for me at this point like if

we're like there's nothing on the line right i'm just going training like to be like to be in shape like to learn new things but it's not the same as when you guys were training when joe's training like there's something there's something real there there's an audience there's people it's professional like you're putting your life in someone i mean well and there's no there's no time you're missing yeah it's not like somebody was sick today or this or like you're not missing it's like oh okay it's your birthday yeah cool after training like there's nothing that you're gonna miss that like you're my life my jobs that i took everything was built around training

around the availability of those hours being free. So it's, it's, it's just how you choose to set your life up for success. And so now that's like the pivot is redirect your life for success in that way. Does this mean you're a punk? Cause you're not working out like that. Cause your ego is still talking to you. Uh, how would you stand with that guy? Oh, he's in the lights right now. What would that look like? And it's like, it's so, okay. How many distractions that don't mean anything? Are you going to let pull you off your course of, you know, trying to get a vanilla flavored coffee or whatever that your next thing is that you're up to, you know, and, and, or even just, you know, my mom was just here over the weekend taking my presence away from that. And it's like,

now in this part of my life, I'm able to give my presence to the people that I'm with in a different way than I ever had before. What does that look like being in a relationship with you? What kind of relationship? Sexually, romantically, sexually. Sexually is loose. I mean, okay, I mean like- We can't do it in Atlanta because they fucked up

and ruined the abortion laws out there. So you can only have anal or oral sex there now, I think. And so I'm not sure what's legal. Maybe that's not even legal there because they're very strict about things. I just, I don't know. I'm going to have to look into it before I travel. I mean, a long-term relationship, you're this fighter. Like, what does it look like for me?

What if a girl likes you and you like the girl or a guy, whatever? What's that look like? Because you're so focused. It looks like that people want to be number one in your life and you're not going to be. And it's a heartache. And the thing is, is that I've taken shots and missed before in life. And the ache, if I hadn't been ready or I was unaware, if there was something that was in my metrics that I could have done differently and I missed, that lives inside me, right?

And so I don't want to be resentful about anything with anybody or anything like that. So I'm very clear that I have these babies that I'm taking to market and it's all that matters to me. Outside of that, I love you. I want to hang out with you. But this is what it is. And so, I mean, I'm fortunate. There's two women in my life that I love dearly and that I'm fortunate to have their love. And however that looks and however that shows up, I'm happy with. But yeah, I'm busy. And that busyness isn't just like I'm busy.

It's like I have things that I'm responsible to steward and to take care of. And it would be irresponsible of me if I took a misstep that then took the focus and the tenacity away from me and making my businesses work well, and then I pushed that over into another lane of a love relationship, I'd be doing a real disservice to a lot of people, not just to these two things that I'm trying to bring to market, but also all the people that work with me. I mean, I'd be off my square. It'd pull me out. And I just feel like that's where people get most things wrong. They go, as soon as I find this perfect person, life's going to be a wellspring of love and goodness and cookies.

And then they go, God damn, this is hard. And now I don't have this other thing that I wanted to work for. And what happened to my dreams and this and that? And I just didn't want that to happen to me. And so I signed my life differently than that. And yeah, it's all difficult. There's no easy answers. But I feel like I just had to look at like, okay, serial monogamy, which is what I saw

in the marketplace kind of wasn't really for me. I wanted more honesty in it than that. And then to find real love, I didn't think that love was going to be holding or constrictive. And that was the kind of love that I wanted. I wanted to be able to be kind and gracious and open and supportive and not have anything over anybody's head. And I didn't want anybody to have anything over my head so that we could move freely and we could have understanding and not. And so in that, my communication has gotten through the roof.

My communication is really, really good because it has to be, because it's scary and you push into all that stuff when you're in multiple relationships like that, which I didn't want any of to begin with. And then you go, okay, well, no, this is what is. And I couldn't be more grateful with the way the, the, the roads paved, but, um, so how does that all work? How does that all work? If there's two women, timing and, and, and, and, uh, communication, communication is lubrication. It came about like, I live, I live in, in a lot of different places with my, with my work and, and it's just a heightened communication and going, Hey man, you're occurring and you're occurring.

And now we're all here together. And we just all sat down and we had a talk and said, listen, I love you. I love you. And this is how this looks. And I just want everybody to be aware. So everybody can choose where they want to be. And outside of that, I don't care what relationship we have. I love you. I want you both in my life. And that was kind of where, where it landed. It sounds like you're really self-aware. I think that that's what it sounds like to me.

And I don't know that it's always helpful, but yeah. Yeah. It sounds like you're really self-aware. I mean, I think it sounds like, you know what you want for me. I, I always say I would be dead single if it wasn't for Michael. I think what works for Michael and I is we're so focused on what we're building, but we're building towards the same common goal. And if it was just me over here building, so like streamlined to this goal and I was so focused on it and he wanted to pull that away from me I wouldn't be a happy person so it's like for I mean I if I was single it would either need to be that someone that rose to the occasion and focused sort of on the same way or I would be single listen let's be honest whenever she if she ever flies off the handle and gets mad at me

I was like listen next guy that comes into the picture. Good fucking luck, buddy. This, this, this is not an easy nut to crack this one to my left. Yeah. Well, I mean, I know what I want. I know I get the coffee. Just think about the coffee frother. Just, just that example. If my vision isn't executed with the cardamom in it, then I would be an unhappy person. I wouldn't be happy. So I wouldn't be able to be my best self in a relationship. Yeah. Well, no, it's true. We're both like, I mean, we've known each other for so long. We're both like focused on very similar goals.

I mean, it's like, it's forever. We haven't been together that long, but we've known each other. No, but knowing somebody like that is, it's a crazy way you can, you know, the biggest thing I think you can do when you love somebody is be an acknowledgement of them and be an acknowledgement of their path, their struggles, their successes. And like to have somebody to share that with, I mean, that's the, that's the most beautiful. It's like when people die, like I've had a couple of people go in the last few months here and,

it's, yeah, it's, it's not, it's just the lack of being able to see how they traverse the road that makes me bummed out. It's like the thing in the future that to acknowledge that and to, and to be acknowledged by them when you really see somebody, it's like that, that, that becomes the loss. And so, um, and I, and you can have that inside relationship without, I suppose, you know, Do you have a certain ritual or routine that you do and live by when you decide to do a new business or, or you decided to be a fighter, right? You decided to be an actor. You decided to run this massive coffee company. Is there something that you did?

You sat down. Did you map out a strategic future? Did you have a list? Like, is there something for, there's a lot of business, you know, people that want to go into business listening. What advice would you give there? Be passionate about what it is that you're doing. Like going to things like Expo West, I'd see a lot of people and they have their widget in their hand and they're saying, hey man, I want to take this to market. And like I said, we've been doing this like over five years. If you don't love what it is you're doing, man, to be wearing this for five years would be like tires.

I'm wanting something new. I like novelty, you know? And I just haven't had that feeling. So I would say like, make sure that you love it enough that it's worth your time to service for the rest of your life. Maybe, you know, because that's what it takes. It's like, well, do I want to give myself all to this? Cause whether you want to or not, sometime you're going to not want to, and you're going to need to anyway. And so I think that you have to really love the thing that you're doing and love the idea. And it's got to be built on a foundation of truth. Yeah. Cause when shit gets difficult and you don't

love something, it's easy to give up. Did you say toss it aside? Nevermind. If you love it, it's, it's a lot harder decision, even if it is going bad, especially with no money in it. It's like, if you're living a thing, like, like you say about, about your business, I've never taken a check from caveman either. And, and you know, it it's just like this is a love project that you're here and you're taking to the market and you're trying to build and and in that it's uh you know i like to make it so it's hard for me to lose you know if if the metric that i need is for this to make x or whatever ah it's not going to be very much fun but if the thing is is like i just want to expose this and i want to build up this part oh now this part of the brand is really important

and i try to formulate that it becomes new puzzles to solve. And that keeps me engaged. When you think about taking roles now for movies, how does that kind of, how does that interweaver connect with everything else you have going on? Like, cause I know you have to go off to set and how long, like, what does that process all look like for those of us that aren't familiar with? I'm in a weird lane in, in that a lot of my stuff is I get through stunt coordinators, second unit directors. You do your own stunts? Yeah.

And they'll say, hey, do you have a, you know, will you do this? And here's what this looks like in the action. And I'm like, I always say gladly. I'm happy when the phone rings. And so I just go for whatever job it is. And I do that right now. It's like it just becomes if a job comes in and i've already i'm already obligated to something i'm doing the thing i'm obligated to it doesn't and it can suck sometimes and but no matter how

great the other job looks you've got to say no has there ever been a person in movie history that's died more times i don't know i get uh and uh there's a couple different guys that have been violent but i think i'm probably right at the top yeah you're up there what's the most violent death you think you've had on maybe bashing my own head in in west world yeah oh yeah i forgot about that my head in with the boulder and then i watched that with my mom and she screamed while she's looking i mean she was like i was like i'm right because remember he was a i don't want to spoil it well it's not a spoiler yeah it's i i have a big boulder that i end up i'm gonna crush a woman with the and then i end up crushing my own head because there's something about my robot my

my uh went haywire it went haywire but i also didn't want to hurt humans that was against my directive and so i had to short circuit myself in the best way i knew how is there something therapeutic about that for you like the stunts i like it because it's that, okay, here we go. And like in fast eight, we go, you're going to go off a building and it's 60 feet to the ground and you're going to hit that bag or whatever. And it's like, it's, it's all like something like, all right, let's, I get, we're doing this. And I do, I love that stuff. I love it when you go like, you know, it's not the same, I guess it seems like it though, in your head, it can. I did these, I do ice hot back and forth sauna and ice bath. The ice bath is like 34 degrees.

And it feels like you're going to hit the cement. It feels like a thing, right? Everything shrivels up. I mean, it's inside you, hopefully, if it goes well. But the thing is, I guess maybe we die. And I think that's the thing. You know, you push into your death a little bit and you get to live a little more. And my friend Harrison, he really taught me that.

He was this old man. He just died at 94 years old. And I met him at 92, vibrant as anybody I'd ever seen. When I met him, he was hospitalized. He was getting a catheter, all this. I was like, hey, you ever have those times when you feel like, oh, my body's just not working? When I was younger, I used to be able to do more or something. I said, I hear that from

guys now that are generally pussies, but you hear that, you know, and I hear it from 22 year olds. And I said, has there been a time when you thought this is just enough? And he goes, not until this latest debacle. And he says in this wavering voice where he now has to live with a tube that's stuck in his bladder all the time, you know. And he was a World War II vet. He was just a fascinating, fascinating life. But that adherence to loving that was nine decades, how easy and gracious he can live because things change. And when you live longer, you notice things are changing and what's left is how I feel about the people that are here with me, you know. And so I try to think about that and ramp that up more than ramping up other metrics that maybe don't matter quite as much.

What are some healthy things that you do every day? Every day? Yeah. Maybe I've been trying to sleep more. So this business stuff ramping up, I used to be a guy that was like, four hours, fuck it, let's go. And now I just think it's just really a disservice. And I go, okay, I want seven to nine hours every night. That's me.

I have to have my sleep. And so I start to demand that in myself because it's important. I make sure I drink a gallon of water. I make sure I have two tablespoons of salt. I make sure I eat about, like lately, about two pounds of meat a day. You do your ice bath. Coconut oil every day. Every day, multiple times a day. We got you some woo coconut oil. So yeah. And yeah, ice baths. I mean, I'm pushing into all that. And the thing I was going to say about Harrison is that we would go work out together.

And that's where he would come alive. And when I started hanging out with him, he goes, man, thanks. He says, I feel like I'm starting to get my juju back. And I was feeling like I wasn't much of a man before I met you. And like, because he was just winding down. But we would go out into the dog park and we would run and we would, I mean, it was like some days I thought, you might kill him right now. We're walking up a hill and he's, and he just can't. But he does, you know? And then his day, and then he walks more erect and smiling and fuller and more aware of life. And I'm like, if we die, we die, man.

But this juice was worth it today. And I think that's the way I try to look at my own personal days is go, I want to push into the hard stuff enough that I merit the breath that I draw when I lay my head on the pillow at night. Let's talk about pussies a little bit. Okay. I don't mind. You ever heard that transition before? I'm so excited about where we go. The don't mind. You ever seen, you ever heard that trend? You ever heard that transition before? Um, no, but I think I'm so excited about where we go. Yeah. The world's open. You're somebody that's, I would say connected to both your masculine and feminine side, but still an uber masculine dude. That's, you know, you're a tough guy.

What, what do you like? People are being pussies, men and women. Like, what do you, what do you think it's so difficult for people to do? Like, why do they have such a hard time doing hard shit and facing it and just being, you know, I feel like a lot of people are getting so soft. I don't know where I'm going with this. I think that it's a, it's a, it's an interesting way of the world right now is we think we should have something for nothing. And it's, it's, it's hard to work for stuff and it's hard to see the merit in it until you do that a lot. And so I think right now you just have more voices. So there's noise in the system. So you got a lot of young people that don't know much better

that have opinions that they're due, except maybe you don't merit your opinion because your experience is so low and limited, right? But you got a voice and then you got Gary Vee saying, just put out content, put out content, put out. And it's like, how about don't? How about go ahead and pause? Don't embarrass yourself and put out content. You out content, put out. And it's like, how about don't, how about go ahead, pause, don't embarrass yourself and put out content. Uh, you know, you don't have to normalize your own personal sexuality on your page with George Washington quotes underneath it to make yourself look like you're not insane. Cause that looks fucking crazy or whatever. You know what I mean? It's like, there's, there's these different, it's a different world. And so we have the power of our voice in a new way than we ever had before. And I think that that's, uh, that's the reason it's hard because,

because the payoffs are easy because people are looking for cotton candy. People just don't want to do, they don't want to struggle anymore. I don't want to generalize everybody, but there's a lot of people that just don't want to struggle. I think I don't want to blame social media, but I think sometimes people look at other people's lives like, Oh, that looks easy. I could do that. They don't want to put in the miserable hours. I think that our job kind of is to expose that the struggle is the juice. You know, the struggle is where you get the good stuff. That's, I mean, if you want a great life, it's hidden right behind that struggle. And that's what I try to tell myself, man. I mean,

I have some dark days and I go, man, I'm just trying to not eat a pistol today. Like it's, there's stuff, life can get heavy, man. And then I, then I, that thought in my head, thankfully, the last bunch of times has been, yeah, that means there's a great day that's about to break open. That means the sun's about to come out right now because this is horrible right now. And I can smile in that, in my misery a little bit, you know, and I think that's a real thing is perspective. And then the reason why people aren't looking, you know, at struggle as important or wanting to shortcut it or whatever is because if you don't know the value of that, of course you

would. But if you know the value of that, man, you go, oh, I just want to live in that struggle then. And I was trained that way just as a fighter, man. My coach, Greg Jackson, he would say, you know, life is hard, man, and do the hard thing. And the more uncomfortable you can get, you know know he's the one that brought bring be uncomfortable bringing uh your comfort into uncomfortable situations will make you everybody's got a break point make yours unreachable make your opponent so that you can grab it and and that becomes the thing is that your discomfort should be your living room live

in discomfort tate and other men it will be untenable for them they'll have to escape yeah because a lot of people just won't do it. Lauren and I have been talking about this a lot more. And you kind of even, you know, we were just in Charleston there and back. And, you know, those short trips, getting out there, doing an interview, come back. It's like what I was saying, the difference between Lauren and I is like, we will take a weekend, we will fly coach, and we will go and put in the time to go interview somebody on a Saturday, Sunday,

and then come back. And like, when I look at people that are trying to break into any space, it's just, they're complaining, but they're not willing to put in the time and the effort and the discomfort to get there. And I'm like, you're not, it's not going to happen unless you're willing to, to do things that other people aren't willing to do. It's just not going to work. And how, and how much money did that make you? It's like zero money, right? It's costing you. That was the same way I got into the film business, right? Is that I had this work ethic and then they would say, Hey, this, this coordinator,

he's working at a show in Pittsburgh right now. And then I would go, Oh fuck, I'm in Detroit. I'm going to fly to Pittsburgh tonight. I don't have to be at work till Tuesday. And then I would go and I would shake a guy's hand and had him a resume and he'd say, what are you doing here? And I go, I just came to meet you. Oh, are you in town for something? Nope. Just this, you know? And, but like, that was where my shit was. I was like, I'm going to do whatever I can with the little money I have to expose myself because I know that I've sharpened my sword enough. I know that I'm dope. Like all I got to do is be in the room and motherfuckers will know. And they'll go, oh, he can be useful or not. right? But I knew I had use.

And so then I just go, I just got to expose myself to it. And that's faith, you know? I mean, people, I'm not a religious guy, but like I'm a man of extreme faith at the same time. And it's like, you do good work, you can expect good results, man. It might break your heart if you don't get them exactly the way you want them. So I don't think of them that way. But I know that if I practice my process of good work, of going out and giving, expecting nothing, that great things come better than I could have planned. And all the little meagly things that I tried to

fucking go, I just want to orchestrate this all just right. That shit falls apart or it never happens. And it ruins the thing that could be good because I waste my sorrow on something that didn't happen when the best thing was right over here anyway, behind a veil that I didn't know about. Cause I'm an idiot and I only have a scope that's this big, you know? So I just have to wait, do my good work, let the universe show me results later. Well, a lot of people aren't willing to do like, there's a lot of young people that write in and they say, well, you know, this guy, but they're not willing to pay me. And I'm like, what? I'm like, you're 20 years old. I'm like, you're 20 years old. What do you got to pay for? Do the work for free, show them the value. And then maybe they'll give you a job. But if not, like you're just, you're just in the

same place. It's only costing you your time and your effort. Right. What's your favorite failure you've ever had? My favorite failure. Yeah. Maybe it could be something that you, you thought was such a fail. And then, like you said, you look back and you're like, Oh my God, I'm so fucking glad that happened. Well, you know, Lacey and I, oh my God, I'm so fucking glad that happened. Well, you know, Lacey and I, we were going to start a CrossFit gym at one time. I already had one going in Santa Fe. We're going to start one in the Valley here. And then, you know, Lacey ended up working at the top level of personal fitness to all these film people. And my life went on where it did. And it's like, none of that would have happened had we constrained ourselves with this thing that we were devising that was going to be the next thing.

And those things abound. They are literally everywhere. If I'd have been a better fighter, it might not have been great. You know, it's like I got knocked out in my last fight. What if you'd have won? It's like going to the fucking casino and winning. Man, you go to the casino and winning. That's the worst thing that maybe can happen to you if you're a degenerate gambler like myself right is because

you think that you know something now and and so in that you know it's just like all of those metrics it's like i you know and greg jackson told me a great thing also was a great coach uh i said man i just don't know if i'm having fun anymore he says well then let's not do it so there's only do stuff you're you're fun at, Tate, you know, and really look at. And then that allowed me to have fun at it for another couple of years, you know. But it's like perspective, you know, and getting my head right. I think the number one thing that, you know, a big failure, letting people into my life that then go, ah, they fucking burned you. And then they stole from you.

And then your whole business is suffering, like the whole thing. And you've really had the wool pull and what the heck. And then you keep living and then you grow from that. And then you're forced to find forgiveness and graciousness in your own heart and gratitude for the event, because that's the thing that keeps your mind safe and nourished. Otherwise you die in resentment and anger. And so like all of those things also, I can't sleep on that those are benefits. You know, a lot of times I go, you know, there's nobody that's a self-made man.

It's a ridiculous, arrogant idea to think about. And those are the reasons that I think that is because even the people that have taken from me and that didn't mean me any good, they helped me tremendously, you know, let alone all the good that's been there, you know? Out of all the people we've had on the show, I have to say that you are one of the most compelling people. And Michael told me this is a compelling person has strength and warmth. Well, they're defined by like strength, meaning like you say, you're going to do something and

you trust that they're going to go get it done and warmth being that not only are they doing it themselves but they're doing it for for somebody else or for you and so like most people have one they're either they're really strong and you know hey that person says he's going to do something they're going to get it done but most of the time that comes with they're doing it for themselves only or their warmth which means they really care about you but you just they don't they can't get it done. Right. So it's rare that both the people have both.

I would agree. Strength. Don't you think? Yeah, of course. Absolutely. How do you, how do you keep your ego in check? Because I noticed that you really keep your ego in check. And I think that's, I mean, everyone has an ego in the whole world.

So what, how do you sort of tame yours? I look at myself a lot when When you said you're self-aware, it's like I've been trained in through, you know, I had a horrible run with alcoholism. And so in my life, like I don't drink, I haven't had a drink for a long, long time, but that's a disease of ego in a lot of ways, you know? And so the ego gets overblown there. And, you know, we talk about it a lot that you can be in the gutter, pissing on yourself, looking down on everybody walking by you. You guys just don't understand in my nihilistic rage here. And this idea of getting my ego in place

became something that was super important and vital to my life. And I think that there's programs that help you to reprogram yourself into a way that you can become an asset to yourself instead of a deficit, which a drinking alcoholic is only a deficit to himself and others, right? And so that, and jujitsu, I think is a great leveler of that for me. It's one of the best things that keeps ego in check because at any given day, you're going to get strangled by maybe somebody like you, you know, or whatever. Anything can happen. And so when you put yourself into the course of life, that's the thing is I don't have any illusions that when I go into the course of life, literally anything can happen. Like it can be stuff that doesn't feel good.

And it's like that thing about what face are you trying to save, Tate? You know, are you trying to save your ass or your face? You know, And it's like, I'd rather look ugly and have function and performance. And I want that for others as well. And so I look to that because I find that me being useful is a key that unlocks the misery inside of me that makes my ego go out of control anyway. So the more useful that I can be and the more helpful I can be, it's a double-edged sword of help in that way. How did you know you had a problem with alcohol? Fuck, it was years of arrest. The police told me, the judges told me, my parents told me, my sister told me, all my friends told me. Arrested again. I mean, it's

just a long line of that and going, this is the only way that life is going to work out for me, is that I'm going to be either in prison or I'm going to be dead. And, uh, and, and that was what my mom and dad, that's what they had thought as well. Um, and so, yeah, it was, it was clear for a long, long time. Alcoholism ran rampant in my family. Um, you ever heard that line by Keith Richards where he's like, I didn't have a drug problem. I had a problem with the law. I love that.

I love that. Tate, you're a bad motherfucker, my friend. What's a book, a resource, a podcast you can leave our audience with that will bring them tons of value? Ooh, you can find my podcast, Pirate Life Radio, a book that'll bring you tons of value. You know, I go back to like,

there's a bunch of favorites I have. And, you know, there's a great line. There's a book C.S. Lewis wrote called Sermon on the Mount. And it was different than Sermon on the Mount in the Bible. But there's a great line in there. And like I said, not a Christian, not religious, not whatever. But this idea of Jesus is talking one time and he says, what is it to give hate for hate? There's nothing uncommon in that.

You know, when you can give kindness and love in the face of hatred, there's something special there. And I think like things like that, it's like, am I going to be directed by your behavior of how I behave? Or am I going to be the calm with the storm around me regardless? Am I going to show up as me? So, you know, I think that books like that, I love the alchemist, you know, for young people that are out looking for how to find your path. You know, there's a lot of magic inside there. You know, there's so many great books out there. Right now, a friend of mine just wrote a wonderful book about following your dreams and about really taking a deep dive into your own development of your consciousness and that the reasons for doing

that are innumerable and outweigh any reason not to. And he's made an argument for that in this book called Going Right, which is a great book too, my friend Logan wrote. But I think things like that. I think the number one thing when I sit and I listen to a spiritualist or whatever, they all talk about one thing and they say, you know, everybody goes, what's the answer? We all clamor for the answer. And he says, your daily practice. And they go, no, but what's the answer? And it's just that, you know, I guess I would leave it there is that when I first wanted to think about meditation, I started thinking about all the different kinds, walking meditations and people sing and meditate, people do bells. And I said, what's the right one? And he says, you're dying of thirst and you're in the

desert and here's a shovel and here's walking meditation and here's this and here's that. And you just, you want novelty so much, Tate, that you dig in all these different holes and you just get dirt. If you just pick one, the same aquifer feeds all those holes and you just have to get a deep dive into it. And so I would say that even more than a book, it's like whatever task I'm into at the moment, whatever you're doing to dive deep into that thing. And if it's violin, fucking dive deep into that. When you dive deep into mastery, you can have that as a transferable skill for everything. And I think the biggest transfer that I ever had was digging ditches. And I go, you can be happy about it,

or you can be sad about it. And as soon as I learned how to be happy about digging ditches, I fell in love with the rest of my life. That is great advice. I have one tiny quick question that I forgot to ask you. And it's just a detail. What is the salt that you put in your coffee? You said it was a spicy salt. It's a mixture. It's a black lava, like a shale salt that has chili powder mixed into it. But normally I just go straight Himalayan sea salt. Okay. The chili powder salt sounds really good. You're going to have to send me a picture of it. You're going to have to send him the way you make the coffee because we want to put it in the show notes too, because people are going to have questions send me a picture of it. You're going to have to send him the way you make the coffee because we want to put it in the show notes too because people are going to have questions.

Where can everyone find you and Caveman Coffee? Pimp yourself out. You can find me at Tate Fletcher. T-A-I-T is how you spell my first name. Caveman Coffee on Instagram also. You can also find my podcast, all places podcasts are, called Pirate Life Radio. We're going to link everything up. Guys, get your life together. Have some Caveman Coffee. This shit is the best. I'm going to link everything up. Guys, get your life together.

Have some caveman coffee. This shit is the best. I'm going to go drink some nitro. Thank you so much for coming on. As always, guys, let us know your favorite part of this episode with Tate on my latest Instagram at The Skinny Confidential and the TSC team will slide into your inbox and send you a pink sparkly Barbie pop socket. Thank you guys so much for listening and definitely

check out caveman coffee and get the nitro. I'm telling you.