The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - How To Ignore The Pregnancy Police With Weslie & Bronson Christensen

Episode Date: October 8, 2019

#220: On this episode we sit down with our friends Weslie and Bronson Christensen. These are two of our favorite people and for long time fans of the show, you will recognize their names. This is their second appearance on the show (the first being Ep. #61 back in 2017!). On today's episode we are talking kids, families, babies, and how to manage it all well!  To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by THRIVE MARKET. We use Thrive for our online grocery delivery on a weekly basis and we also now get our wine at Thrive! They provide the highest quality products and ingredients delivered straight to our door with unbeatable prices.  Be sure to grab our deal by going to to https://thrivemarket.com/skinny to receive 25% off your first order (Max $20) + free shipping and a 30 day trial. This episode is brought to you by ROOTZ NUTRITION Whether your goal is to start seeing better results in the gym, or just look and feel your best, you are going to love the Rootz Protein Superfood.Packed with protein, greens, electrolytes, and tons of superfoods, it's perfect for adding to your morning smoothie, drinking after exercise, or as a quick and easy meal replacement at any time during the day. Use code SKINNY for 20% off your entire order. This episode is brought to you by JustFab Get your first JustFab style for as low as $10 as a VIP! That’s 75% off your first item with my special link. Just go to JustFab.com/skinny to take advantage of this deal now. You can also get FREE shipping on orders over $39 and there’s absolutely no commitment when you purchase your first order!  Produced by Dear Media

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to The Skinny Confidential, him and her. I think the thing that makes us good parents or any parent, a good parent

is just liking yourself as a parent. Like not, this is when I, when I feel like I'm tripping over myself is when I feel like I need to be in a mother role because then I'm playing a part. But when I feel like I'm just being myself with a kid, I'm like in my flow. Like I think kids want that too. They just want you to be your best self. Like nothing like motherhood is a call to become your most true, happy, authentic self. Hey now, that's a Howard Stern hey now. Guys, welcome back to the Skinny Confidential Him and and her show that clip was from our guest of the show today two of our favorite people on the planet wesley and bronson or brano christiansen guys we are excited about this one this is the second time wesley and brano have been on the

show first one was a long while back for people that have been listening since the beginning episode 61 back in may of 2017 i highly suggest going back and taking a listen to that one. This couple is incredible. They're back on the show today. We're talking kids. We're talking a lot of things. My name is Michael Bostic. I am a serial entrepreneur and brand builder, most recently the CEO of the Dear Media Podcast Network. And across from me, looking, whoa, whoa, what is going on over there with those cannons? My wife, Lauren Everts. I'm Lauren Everts and my tits are hanging out. I don't even know how you can concentrate right now. I kind of can. I was trying to do

that intro. And I think, guys, I probably missed some things that we talked about on the show, you know, when I was trying to talk about what we talked about, because I'm looking at these giant things in front of my face. Taylor, no need to walk around the wall. Taylor, stay behind the wall. Taylor, you're hanging your head over the wall. Don't be checking out a pregnant person. All right, guys, we are this. We had a lot of fun recording this episode, which you're going to hear in a minute. But, you know, before we get into it, I want to take a couple minutes to do a little follow up.

Got a little hot water, not even hot water, but there was a lot of uproar. A little hot coffee. A little about last week's coffee. You know, my response about how we can't get coffee and how I don't do coffee and how I don't want people to pick up their brain. No, not just how we can't get coffee, how people, anyone can get coffee and pick the brain. Pick the brain's got to go. So we got an episode coming out with Ryan Holiday where we dive into this elaborately, but I want to talk about it right now. I want to address it. So listen,

there's a lot of people writing. Some people were really into it saying, hey, really happy you called this out. It's really annoying when people reach out for coffee. And then I had some other people reaching out saying, what did this is maybe a little arrogant, like you don't take time to sit down with people. You don't want to get coffee to all these things. Okay, let me elaborate here a little bit because last time I was just on a tangent, Lauren. I'm not saying that you shouldn't seek out mentors or make requests of people that are maybe a little further along or have an expertise to sit down and have coffee. That's not what I'm saying. Yes, you should. Can you explain what you're saying? Because I get what you're saying. Yes. What I'm saying is the way that you generally ask. And when I say you,

I mean all of us collectively. We've all been guilty of it. And doing a cold outreach of any kind saying, can I pick your brain? That to me translates to, can I take something from you with very little value, if any, offered? And what I'm trying to let people know and what I'm trying to point out is that it's a lazy way to reach out to get someone's attention. There's more ways to get creative. I think that there's ways where you can reach out to someone to be your mentor or to get coffee with them that are more creative than can I pick your brain. So I think that's what Michael was trying to say. It got a little lost in translation though. I don't know if it got

necessarily lost in translation. I just think we need to elaborate a little bit more. Listen, I do think 100% there's people reach out and say, hey, well, my coach is saying I should seek mentors. You should seek mentors. You should seek them in form of podcasts. You should seek them in form of people, books, resources. Yes, you should always be looking to level up. But you have to get creative and actually put in some time and effort to get it. For me, I would love to go and sit down with Charlie Munger and Warren Buffett and pick their brains. I'd love to do that. Do you think if I called, cold called or emailed or messaged any one of them and said, hey guys, can I buy you a cup of coffee? No, they're not even going to look

at it. They're not even going to respond. There's not a value trade there. I sit down with people on my team all the time. We go on this podcast. We try to mentor as many people as we can. We try to provide as much value, but there has to be some kind of exchange. So Ryan Holiday gave the example, and I think that this is super smart too. And this has actually happened to me before, where someone reaches out and says, hey, Lauren, or hey, Ryan, I noticed there was an error in your blog post or your Instagram caption. I just wanted to let you know this was the error. And if you need any more help with editing, please let me know. That is actually how my editor, Hillary, got the job, I think. I think that's exactly how she got it, if I remember correctly. She reached out and said, hey, there's all these errors in this post.

Can I help you make sure that grammar and spelling is always right? And now she's been working with me for probably five years. So she added value. And now, you know, I think that's a way where she didn't necessarily want a mentor, but if she did want a mentor, I would be happy to help in any way and answer any questions because she came with a value proposition. Yes. I just want people to understand that while it's important to seek mentors and find these people, you have to refine your strategy. Let's just take the coffee example, for example. And I wrote a comment back on this on the TSC podcast Instagram. And I said, okay, what you're telling me when you reach out

for coffee is one, you think that my time is only worth a $2 cup of coffee. Two, you have put so little thought into it that that's the first thing you could think of. And three, that the information I'm going to provide you is not worth anything more to you but that. So what I'm saying is that this is a bad strategy to reach out to people. A better strategy is to put some thought into it and say, hmm, what's a unique way I could reach out to this person, put a little thought into it, maybe exchange some value with them. And listen, people are like, well, you know, if I'm not as far along on the path, how am I supposed to offer value? You've got to go back to square one. You've got to think, if you can't offer any value to the person, then why are you thinking that they should offer value back to you? And this

comes down to self-awareness. If you are an individual and you're like, I have nothing to offer anyone right now, then why do you feel entitled to them that they should be, should give you value? This is my whole point about self-awareness. There's got to be something better. You've got to think a little bit more outside the box. What can you provide to this person that's going to give them some value? It doesn't have to be monetarily, but something, some thought you've put in, some strategy, some effort to be able to get them to sit down with you and let you pick their brain, which is, if you want to pick that person's brain, it's obviously because there's a value associated with the information they have in their mind.

That's all I'm saying. Be self-aware. Think about broader strategies. This whole thing about I need to pick your brain over coffee and put the person in a position where they have to feel like a dick for saying no, it's not realistic. I don't want to have to say no to people and make me feel bad about myself by saying no because someone was lazy with their ask. So all I'm asking people is to get a little bit more creative, think about providing some value. Yes, seek mentors, but be a little bit more fucking strategic about how you do it, Lauren. Someone that I've become friendly with over Instagram, who's an entrepreneur and a total badass. Her Instagram is at Emily Frisella. She says, okay, and I want to shout this out. Episode 218, Lauren, there could be an entire episode about why buy you a

coffee and pick your brain is insulting. Like, thanks for the $5 coffee for the 17 years of business info I've gathered. I'd rather pull my eyelashes out one by one. Anywho, great episode. Emily, that comment on Instagram was hysterical, and I think that she does a good job of like wrapping it up in one sentence. However, Michael Bostic, I do think that you should do a solo episode going into actual tangible takeaways that people can apply when they're asking someone to do something for them or give them time or be a mentor. I'm happy to do that, but I do want our audience that's seeking coffee. If anyone, not just our audience, to sit around and like, instead of being like, I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what kind of value I'd actually like people to

like, think about, okay, I want to reach out to this person. What's a unique angle? How can I provide value? Is there a better way than just asking for coffee? I'm telling you, like, I'm not, I'm not, I can't be the only one that's thinking about this. And listen, maybe I am, maybe I'm just a dick, but, but honestly, I don't care. I mean, listen, there's some people that I well, you know, you don't you want to like sit down and like provide like don't get lazy and be like, well, my way of value, like really like put some thought into it. Like when I when you were asking me out and I didn't want to date you. I definitely didn't just say, hey, can I pick your coffee?

No. How did you what was your angle because you were pretty strategic about it well I had to pull all sorts of stops out I had to trick you into going to this Vegas trip or your friend's birthday then I had to buy you these dinners then I had to get you some all sorts of things I had to woo you there was a million what was the one thing that you did though where you added value to my life there was one thing that you did didn't I just put you in a cab and pay for it no you didn't just put me in a cab and pay for it well anyways there was some value there no what did you do with my dog oh i won the dog over yeah they took brocken

forever too it was biting me you know it's pissed off the dog hated him and he won the dog over and when i came home one day and i saw that that dog was on your lap sleeping in a blanket wrapped in love, I was like, okay, I could be into this. But guys, let me just say this last thing. Anything that's worth doing is worth trying for. And anything that's easy is probably not worth holding on to. So if you do get in a situation and say there's a weak-minded fool who doesn't know how to say no to being his brain picked over coffee or she, and he or she ends ends up there with you do you really think you're getting that person's full dedicated time and do you think they're really focused on like that's what i'm saying and so you know put some

time put some thought put some energy actually get somebody excited to come sit down with you and talk with you and and give you this advice so like i said we're gonna force him to do a solo podcast i already put it on your calendar it's all all booked. Mimi's going to host it with you and you guys are going to get very into it. And maybe someone who's also trying to date a girl or a guy can get some tips and tricks about how to add value. Yeah. And maybe there's some of you that are just like, what a fucking dick. I mean, you can be a dick sometimes, but in that case, I don't think you're being a dick this time. Well, listen, you can be a dick sometimes. You can't win everybody. dick sometimes you can't win everybody yeah you can't win everybody all right let's now that we're off that tangent let's get into this wesley and bronson christiansen i don't even know how do we

start with these two they're wonderful people three children started they started having kids when like when they were 18 15 14 gorgeous couple go look at their instagram and you will just be drooling gorgeous Gorgeous couple. Gorgeous kids. Gorgeous family. They are going to be great, great, great parents. Gorgeous hair. Yeah.

Jesus Christ. I was, I mean, listen, I thought I had good hair. Anyways, sit down with Bronwyn. And we do, just a little disclaimer. We talk about shrooms in this episode. No, I'm not going to do shrooms when I'm pregnant. Maybe I'll do shrooms after I'm pregnant, but I'm not going to do shrooms while I'm pregnant.

So no one needs to come out in the messages and DMs and start going crazy over that. I might do them while you're pregnant. Might have already. Anyways, guys, get excited. This one's a fun one. Jumping into it. Wesley Bronson Christensen, welcome to the show. Before we get into that, I want to tell you what is on my Thrive Market favorites page. So I updated it recently. So what you're going to find is you're going to find this organic coconut water that's insane for putting in your smoothie as a base. I either like coconut water or plain water, and I kind of do half and half with this one. And then there's an organic apple cider vinegar. I got my favorite capers in there, some pink sea salt, even peppermint essential oil, which I have this hot

tip. I put a little bit on my tongue in the morning after I tongue scrape and it makes your breath smell all minty, but without that nasty aftertaste. Anyways, you can also find dark chocolate baking chips in there. I like Lily's brand, Primal Kitchen Mayo, the avocado oil. It's the best and Siete chips. It's like all my favorites in one spot. And you can get all of these favorites for 25% off. Plus, everything on Thrive is 25% to 50% below retail. It's a bargain. Guys, if you have to shop by diet, whether you're gluten-free, organic, paleo, raw, vegan,

vegetarian, ketogenic, they've got sections just for you. All mapped out, all dialed in. So it takes all the heavy lifting out of your brain. Guys, I curated this page exactly how I would shop and how I do shop. These are the items that are my go-tos. They're my favorite brands. It's all in one spot. And like Michael said, it gets delivered a straight to your door, which we love takes all the annoying middle work out of it. If you're more of a beauty junkie like me, they have all these beauty products on there that are half the price. I mean, it's crazy how cheap everything is. There's this Aztec secret healing clay. It's like this Indian clay. I've talked about it seriously for probably 10 years. I think it was one of the first blog posts and it's something

I still use. And you mix it with an apple cider vinegar and put it on your face and it hardens and they have it on there for five bucks. It's like $4.99. I got all my vitamins and supplements on reorder as does Lauren, all our home supplies, pet supplies, everything is all at Thrive Market. Like I said, 25 to 50% below retail. Hard to beat that bargain. If you guys are a fan of the show and you have not shopped on Thrive Market, you're missing out. Go to thrivemarket.com slash skinny and get 25% off today. That's thrivemarket.com slash skinny. This is the skinny confidential him and her. Guys, you, you two are two of our favorite people and we don't get to spend enough

time together. I know it's been, I was looking at episode 61 for people listening since 2017 May. That was the first time you came on. It's been way too long. We're like 250 of these fucking things now. I know. You guys are big wigs now. No, no, no. Here's what we should do.

We should go to the desert and do mushrooms and podcasts. I'm down. I'm down. I think it's healthy for every parent. And you guys are about to be parents. You have to have little weekend getaways where you can connect with your inner self that's the perfect way you're gonna have to clarify now yes we're gonna hear all the people yes she will it'll be after she has the baby baby don't don't the pregnancy police are real oh honey just you wait did you experience the pregnancy police back then

the pregnancy police and then the kid the baby police the breastfeeding police it never ends it just gets worse police oh yeah have a coffee breastfeed your baby people are like you're you shouldn't be drinking coffee here but it's like it never ever ever ends it just gets worse here's my thing i don't know why anyone cares what anyone does with their body i don't know why either i feel like the people that are caring need to get busy. Same. When you, okay, you were, how old were you guys again when you first had first? 19. So young. I know we talked about it on that other show. It's all we've ever known. And how, during that time, like how many voices were in your head, like coming in at you guys? Every single person we've ever known. All of our friends thought we were crazy because we were, our parents were overly involved because we were

children having a child. We honestly had to move away from everyone we ever knew just to create our own little family because we had every single person and they loved us and they cared, but it was just too much. Everyone's advice, it was making me sick and I couldn't be the mom that I knew I wanted to be because I was so busy trying to be like everyone else. So you're 19. You find out you're pregnant. Do you freak out or are you just mellow? Oh, freak out. Bronson knew I was pregnant before I knew I was pregnant. How does that work? It's the craziest story. He had a feeling I was pregnant and I was like, there's no way. I think we talked about this in the last podcast. I was on NuvaRing and I was like, I'm not pregnant. There is no way. And he's like, I think we should get a test.

So we get a test. We get to his mom's house. I pee in a cup. The second I'm done peeing, don't even flush the toilet. His mom is like, Wesley, come upstairs. She's peeling a pomegranate and she wants me to help her. And so to not tip her off, I climb upstairs and we're doing these pomegranate seeds for like 20 minutes. And the whole while he's downstairs, he put the pee stick in the pregnancy test and so he knew for 20 minutes were you freaking out oh it was tripping he was literally wide as a ghost i came back down and you i thought you were dying like in the process of dying he wouldn't even speak yeah i bought about eight pregnancy tests and i got the most expensive because you think

okay these are going to be the best and i just went in and out pregnant like right when i stuck it in and i'm just like oh god i mean i like at 19 i cannot even imagine that yeah and then can i so how was your pregnancy at 19 i couldn't find my ass with both hands at 19 i don't know where you were at night you were like wearing overalls like in the dive you were wearing overalls you wore overalls without a shirt on that was preemie there's one weird picture that exists where i mean there's a couple overalls jean overalls with no shirt and she will never let it go no i'm not the one with you and terry when you're dressed like yep that's the one how the fuck do you know honestly that looks like it should be on i don't know it's look, you sure you want to chime in here?

You don't have any questionable pictures? Thunder from Down Under is for sure a thing. Mimi, pull that picture and put it up on the podcast. I've caught Taylor. He spent the night at our condo one night. I caught him at three in the morning taking shirtless selfies in the bathroom. No.

But that was only like two or three years ago. With his orange earplugs in. Yeah, Taylor, come on. Good lighting. Taylor, get the fuck off my show. Anyways, what were we talking about here? Okay, so tell us about pregnancy at 19. Like, I was just telling you earlier that I feel that it's really hard to gain weight.

It is. I feel like a lot of people say, oh, it's so beautiful. It's really hard to gain weight. It's not beautiful at all until you look pregnant. You look fat. This is the until you look pregnant you look fat this is the truth of pregnancy you look fat and you feel like shit thank you for like seven months and then all of a sudden especially with your first baby like you know it takes you longer to pop so by seven months you're like oh this is cute and then eight months you're like huge and

uncomfortable nine months you're crying every day because you want the baby out so you get one month you get one month of cute so like take all the photos seven eight months okay nine months in you truly will cry okay every day so for the next month i'm gonna feel fat and then i'll feel cute for you will feel so damn cute okay and then can we also talk about i miss wine why does no one say they miss wine i wasn't old enough to even drink wine. Okay. Well your other two pregnancies, did you miss wine? No, you didn't. I was so sick. So I would lose like 20 pounds within the first three months. Every single time I get so sick. Okay. So maybe if I got sick, I wouldn't want wine. Yeah. I was way too sick to even care or miss anything. And then I just was busy having other kids. I mean, this is what we got to dive into. So you're 19. You have the baby, have the baby, any postpartum. Oh my gosh. Yes. And I didn't know everyone around me was like,

you have the baby, you become a mother. It's the best thing that's ever happened to you. You're going to love this baby so much. And that's the truth. She came out. I was instantly in love with her, but actually that's a lie. I wasn't instantly in love with her. People were like, your baby will come out and you will just have this attachment and this bond. And Zuri came out and I was like, who are you? Like, I want I needed a minute to get to know her. I was like, wait, this one's mine. Like, this is our baby. Like, I just needed to get to know her. I needed an hour alone with her. And then I was like, oh, I love you. You're like the coolest little baby.

But I really, it took me a minute because I felt like something was maybe wrong with me when people are like bawling, they see their baby. My baby came out and I was like, hmm, what's my baby? I feel like that's kind of like, like how I am was with Michael when we first started dating. I was like, we got, we got to get to, I got to wrap my head around this. It took more than a fucking hour. It took about 10 years.

Well, you never know me. Yeah. Okay. So, so you wrap your head around it. They give you guys the baby. Which they shouldn't have. It's the scariest thing. Like, I cannot believe they let us walk out of the hospital with a baby.

You'll probably feel the same way. Like, you want a manual. You feel like even if you've read all the books, you do not know what you're doing. They give you the baby and you have to put it in a car seat and go home. I've never been so scared to drive in my life than the day you come home with a baby. You know what? We got lucky though, because my sister has a baby. Lauren's sister has a baby.

So we get to have like some practice runs. Oh, you're so lucky. Not really, Michael. I've never changed a diaper. Well, you got to step that up. You got to get over there. Aren't we watching the kid this weekend? Yeah, we're watching.

Does he still wear diapers? I don't know. You'll have to look into that. But here's the other truth about that. I don to get over there. Aren't we watching the kid this weekend? Yeah, we're watching. Does he still wear diapers? I don't know. You'll have to look into that. But here's the other truth about that. I don't love other kids. I love my own. So like when I watch a baby, I'm like, oh, this is kind of hard. But when I'm chilling with our kids, like I don't want to do anything else.

I don't even have a lot of friends. It's because I don't really want a lot of friends. If we have free time, I really like being at home with our kids. They're cool. Well, you have a tribe. Yeah. That's a good thing. It's honestly the thing that makes me the most happy and yes it's so hard and i feel like people either try to make it like the most glorious thing in the world or like oh shit your

life is over and i don't think either one of those things are true i find myself really happy in the middle in the middle i'm in the middle and I love it. I wouldn't want to do anything else. I like that. But it's also not glorious. What's postpartum like? So for me, I had anxiety. Okay. I'm scared of that. Yeah. And no one, no one like warned me about this. It's kind of like, how do you explain it? Like you have this baby and you love it so much. And Brene Brown actually talks about this. You have this thing in your mind. It's called of like, how do you explain it? Like you have this baby and you love it so much. And Brene Brown actually talks about this. You have this thing in your mind. It's called like impending doom.

Like you'll be like holding the baby. You love it so much. You lay it down and you're like, oh, she's so beautiful. I love her so much. And then you're like, she's going to die tonight. She's going to stop breathing. She's going to, what if something happens? It's like this thing turns on in your brain where you go to worst case scenarios.

And it's because you are so responsible. You keep this thing alive and you just, your mind goes to worst case scenarios and it's because you are so responsible. You keep this thing alive and you just, your mind goes to worst case scenarios all the time. And I thought that something was wrong with me and I didn't talk about it with anybody. So I finally went to a doctor after a year. I'm like, listen, I have like morbid thoughts. Like I am constantly thinking that she's going to die, that something's going to happen. And he's like, that's just postpartum. You're having a little bit of anxiety. That's some anxious thoughts. That's totally normal. But I really felt like I didn't know if it was like my mother's intuition, because people are like,

you're going to know, you're going to know if something's wrong with your kid, you're not going to be able to explain it. So I'm like, wait, is something really bad going to happen to this baby? I keep having these crazy thoughts, but it was just anxiety that it makes that gives me anxiety it will but you know what knowing it then you can differentiate because now i know when i'm like having a motherly instinct versus this is just impending doom and it's natural because i love this thing so much i'm scared of it being ripped away when you guys were so young did you have that at all or no no nothing so the guy doesn't have it no he was cool as a cucumber motherfucker the other day so i'm like pulled my back out because of all the extra weight you know i pulled my back out too because i just pulled my back out he starts going on and on about how

he pulled his back out a sympathy back pain listen both of us could be hungry at the same time no both of us can hurt our back no i'm extra hungry i just i guess i just gotta like suffer in silence yeah shut up i don't want to hear about your like sniffle and your back pain right now i have a headache right now my back hurts i didn't bring my especially he decides that he is gonna lose weight he's losing weight right now that's the meanest thing he did that to me he started going to the gym when i was pregnant and i felt like divorce well lauren told me this thing early on she's like listen a lot of guys like they when the wife's pregnant they like match estrogen levels or like you know testosterone drops

estrogen rises and then they gain like pregnancy weight with the wife and i was like well why do i need to do that i don't mean like i'm not trying to make her feel bad but i thought oh i don't shouldn't let myself go that doesn't help anybody you know what we look like when we're having sex right now have you seen road trip road trip the really skinny guy oh my gosh i know what you're talking about that is not the truth you are not that huge that's what i feel like i feel like i'm gonna squish him i know you know i know wait until you're nine months what position is the most strategic at nine months you roll over to the side and you just fetal position. So you're an old sow.

You just give up and just let everything like a cow. Yep. You just let it happen. You can practice later. You want that. So you have sex to induce labor. You know this, right? Like it's like the only proven thing like semen will ripen your cervix.

It's the only proven thing. Wait, so let me get this straight. Like, it's like right when it's about to pop, you do the deed and then you're like all right here we go you do it all the time as much as you can now and as hey don't worry girl you have to be having a lot of sense so you have so you want to do this like around the time that you want to like 40 weeks wow because you're gonna want that baby out. You'll do anything. You'll walk the curb. You're going to do some weird castor oil. Is sex that pregnant feel good? Oh, no.

Everything is a big, juicy, weird, swollen mess. You got to use a vibrator if you can like even reach your vagina. I can't see my vagina and shave it. You won't be able to reach it. Like you need to buy a bidet. Do you have a bidet? Oh, no. That's like a really good.

That's a good. To clean your asshole. Yep. Because you can't reach good, that's a good. To clean your asshole. Yep. Because you can't reach it. I'll be back. You can't see things. Like, I don't know what's going on there. No. Like, hope for the best. I remember going into labor and being like, Bronze, is it okay down there? Like, what do I look like? I can't see it. There's no seeing what it looks like. What was your first baby C-section? Is that rude question to ask? I don't know. Oh, no, I don't care at all. Vaginal. Vaginal. Did you do a C-section ever? No, I never had to. I was so grateful I didn't have to do it. Okay. So I want to dive into this. Okay.

You guys are just put here to make babies. Yeah, you guys are put here to make babies. No, literally. I have my babies so quickly too. My body is meant for birthing children. Do you have a tilted uterus? Do you know if you have a tilted uterus? No, there's like a placenta blocking something. So they think I might need a C-section. Oh, do you have placenta previa? Well, no, I don't know what it's called. They said it's too early to tell because it'll stretch.

Yeah, shit moves around a lot. It's a lot in general. Lauren Ditch is a medical doctor now. No, okay. So does vaginal hurt? Quickly need to interrupt the show. My wife needs a little bit more protein because my baby's swimming around. All right. We don't need to get specific like that, Michael. I'm a

little concerned that you're not getting enough protein sources, which is why we started working with Roots Nutrition. Okay, guys, I told you on my latest Instagram post that I cannot stomach meat or fish since I've been pregnant. It turns me off like no tomorrow. The only thing I can kind of stomach is eggs or protein powder. And how I'm doing protein is I'm implementing it into a green smoothie. I told you a little bit about this, but I'm very, very specific about my protein. So that's why we're working with Roots Nutrition. Okay. So they have this protein super food and you can just throw it right into your green smoothie. It's free of nasty chemicals and sweeteners. There's so many proteins on the market that's filled with that stuff. And this

one has no shit in it. This one tastes amazing. Okay. It's real whole food based ingredients that you can actually pronounce, which we love. I always tell people to look at the ingredients instead of like the carbs or the calories. I'm always trying to read the ingredients. This is so important. And it has 15 grams of protein, two full servings of fruits and veggies. And there's a blend of eight of the most nutrient dense superfoods in the world. So you kind of get it all in one scoop.

I've become a real pro at making smoothies for my wife and my baby. Throw a little kale in there, a couple blueberries, raspberriesberries there's some roots nutrition in there don't forget a date a couple dates for sweetness listen i need to make sure that you're getting the right protein because listen it's not just about you anymore alone there's about what you're growing in your gut oh my god so i need to make sure that you're on top of it and this is the best way since you won't eat red meat chicken or fish right now i won't eat any of, chicken, or fish right now. I won't eat any of that. I will have a specific healthy protein powders like this one or eggs. Those are my choices right now. It's all I can stomach, like I said. Anyways, guys, trick your significant others like Lauren tricked me into making you some delicious smoothies. Get your protein in. Get some good protein in. Protein

superfoods. Go to rootsnutrition.com and enter promo code skinny for 20 off your entire order guys like i said try the protein superfood it tastes like banana milkshake chocolate banana milkshake really good getting in that protein get strong make baby strong rootsnutrition.com promo code skinny 20 off enjoy yes oh my god hurts. It is like, just picture a bowling ball coming out of your tiny little body. Like it hurts. Does your vagina rip to your butthole? Mine. Ooh, did mine go all the way to my butthole? I never looked. I know that mine started to tear, but I had an episiotomy with the first one. So here's another thing that you need to ask. You need to find a doctor that is willing to sit with you and do, it's called, perennial is a flower. What am I trying to say?

Pernium? The space between your vag and your butt. Okay. Massage. They need to massage that. So the last two babies I had, I had midwives, and they would take their thumbs and massage my vag. That actually sounds like it would feel good. So you don't tear.

It's amazing. So the first one I tore and they had to give me an episiotomy. What does that mean? I don't know. They cut. They cut. They snip it. God damn.

This is a brave motherfucker. Yeah. So the baby comes out like more naturally. But the other two, they just massaged it and the recovery was so much better. I can't even tell you. So I would make that a part of my birth plan. Like I do not want an episiotomy massage that. So when you, when you say birth plan, did you have like a list of things you wanted? No, I didn't even know I

could do that. Now I would do that. Would you get a doula? Oh, I don't know. Actually. Yeah, I think I would, if I could do it all over again, I think i would have a doula because i bronson was kind of it freaked him out i mean are you freaked out by this stuff this medical stuff i'm not freaked out by it i don't know if i want to be like looking and trying to figure out everything down there but um i'm not freaked out i mean listen it's i don't know how helpful i'm gonna be right i don't want him out my butthole i didn't want him anywhere no i don't know i didn't watch well i was just back behind her for the first one. And I actually kind of regret it.

You do? Like you want it to be on the other side? Yeah. Really? Like when the baby comes out, it's so, it's unbelievable. I'm going to say this. You're so artistic and creative. And Michael's not.

So I feel like this is, like, a different situation. That's a fair statement. Michael's a little, like, more, like, his brain, I feel like he's. Let's see what you have to say here. Less creative, more logical thinking. Like, you're artistic. Like, I can see why you'd want to maybe see the baby come out. Yeah.

But I was scared for the first one. I didn't see Zuri come out. Because I was like, oh, shit, blood, blood. Nah. Oh, it's just horrible looking. Like this is our friend described it as hamburger meat. That is what you look like down there. Like straight up ground raw hamburger meat. So I didn't

see that. Like they'll offer you a mirror like you can watch yourself pushing and I was like, no. If I thought that if I saw myself pushing, I would be scared. Like I would be scared of what I was doing to my body thought that if I saw myself pushing I would be scared like I would be scared of what I was doing to my body I did not want the mirror I just wanted to go through feeling oh gosh oh you like a labia hamburger no I just like regular hamburgers I mean I'm very very scared of vaginal birth I'm not gonna lie it's the best people will try to scare you about it, but it's my favorite day of the entire pregnancy.

Like I live for the labor and delivery day. It is the best day ever of your whole life. Why? Because you get to be done. You're done being pregnant. And at the end of it, you get this nice little, it's like a treat. It's a reward. You get to see the baby.

Like you're going to be, I'm sure you're so anxious now. Like you just want to know what this kid is like. You imagine it for so many months. And by the end, you are so done being pregnant that you finally get this little reward. You like get to look at it and feel it and touch it. And it becomes so real that it's all worth it. Okay, let me ask you this for the first one. Is she more like you or more like Brano or is it a perfect medley?

This is something that I talk about all the time. I see it because it bothers me and other parents when they try to, it's like a little ego trip. They want to take that kid and claim what they like about it as them and then distance. Like if they're like, oh, that kid's so you're already doing that. Oh, so the best thing you could ever do is just let the kid be their own little self. What's really good advice? No, it's so it's true, too, because I see those little kids with the parents are like a little mini me's and they're weird kids.

They don't know who they are. And we really that's our thing. We really, really kind of pride ourselves on giving our kids freedom to be who they are. And we kind of step in when it comes to like safety, health, and overall wellness. Like we give them a lot of freedom to kind of cultivate who they are as little people. We think that that's important because they're like plants. It's like, if a little kid is a plant, you need to feed it. You need to water it. You need to expose it to light. And then you have to give it room to grow. Like I hate these parents, I don't hate the parents, but I sense these little kids with

parents that are just like helicopters on them all the time. They don't have the freedom to expand and to grow into who they're meant to be. And it's kind of unfortunate because I think that those kids are the ones that grow up and they're the ones that kind of go buck wild because they never had the freedom to kind of try things out or make mistakes as kids and we really i think childhood for us we want our kids to be like it's a test drive into like adulthood you guys do a good job too of allowing them to be really independent at least this is how it seems allowing them to be really independent but they also still seem to want to hang out with you, which is interesting. Yeah.

We don't do anything for them that they can do for themselves. This is a refreshing conversation. There's a lot of whack jobs out there. Michael's so happy about this conversation. There's a lot of wacky parents out there that are saying a little weird shit to me all the time now. And I'm like, oh no, it's come on, you know, we live by like the less is more. But I agree with, I mean, people have to be individuals and you have to give people the

room to become an individual. It's the helicopter thing's weird it's unhealthy for the parents too for for it would be unhealthy for him and i to live like that with our kids i just don't think i yeah and then the kids that are afraid to make mistakes like we have our kids have a bunch of friends over we like to have our kids have their friends over at our house because we get a peek inside of that kind of that side of them but a lot of kids are like whoa like you can like go outside when you want or you can do this when you want and we give our kids freedom just to be themselves until they screw up like that it's that saying um we give them enough enough rope to hang themselves like we give them freedom until they till they fuck up so until ozzy's on the freeway like it's chill uh-huh exactly i feel like i want kids that are on the

freeway because it shows that they have a big personality and they're not boring yeah give me anything but boring oh that you will not be bored yeah i promise so when you get the baby in your home how gnarly is it the first little bit is bliss because they sleep all the time and you're tired because a lot of the time you labor through the night. People don't talk about this, but like for whatever reason, people always go into labor during the night. So it's like you get the baby and right off the bat, you're sleep deprived because you've labored all night long. So you're definitely tired, but you're also so just, you're in so much love and bliss and the baby just lays on you and

it's kind of amazing, then it gets gnarly because people stop bringing you dinner. The newness wears off and then the baby sleeps less. And I always tell people like people have got it all wrong. They kind of support the mom right when the baby is born, but the mom does not need support. Then the mom needs support like month three. This is what I tell people about death too. When someone says, what's your advice on someone losing someone really close to them? I say people all rush to support someone when someone dies. I like to check in on people eight months later, two years later, five years later, and just say, hey, how you you doing because that's when you're in

the thick of it so that's interesting so it's the same with new moms yep and when you're a new mom you do not want people your instincts take over and it's like you're an animal you do not want people and their germs no you want to be so alone it is the weirdest time because you really crave isolation in a unique way you want to be alone with your baby. So Michael's going to crave more isolation than he already wants. Yeah. I mean, that's got, I'm a little bit worried because I, I already isolate myself and hide out. Michael's like Rip Van Winkle. And now I'm going to have a, like, I have an 18 year excuse now. Oh, it's the best excuse ever. I mean, I would use that as an excuse. I'm not going to lie. I'm going to be using it a lot. It won't even be an excuse. It'll be a reality. You just really don't want people around your brand new baby. Okay. So

is the lack of sleep what's hard though? I was telling Bronson this the other day, the hardest part of pregnancy is postpartum. It has nothing to do with the being pregnant. It's the after pregnancy because your hormones shift so heavily, so crazy fast. And then you tack on the sleeplessness, the new baby, figuring all of it out. It's a lot to handle. They have a book called the fourth trimester. And I suggest that book because it's really, people are like, oh, your pregnancy's over. Like you're done. And for me, that's when all the shit really kicks in. My body is different. I mean, your body is just gnarly anyways. Like visually, you still look pregnant. And even though, even by the third time I had a baby and I knew what to expect,

every single time I'm like a little bit worried. Like, oh, it's not going to go back. Like my body is a waterbed. It's scary. But it went back. Your body looks amazing. Yeah, it takes like six months six to nine months for me every single time i have to be patient but those first few months are weird

do you want to like fucking buck after like during those six months no god damn fucking are you just giving a lot of blowjobs or are you just being like go you gotta go figure out i don't even think about it that is the last thing I even think about. So you've had 18 months without dry spells? Oh my gosh. No, I seriously, like my friend just barely had a baby. And they say at seven weeks you can, or six weeks, you can try to have sex again. And so she was at that mark.

And I was like, so what are you guys doing? She's like, oh no, no. The doctor said it was seven weeks. She's like, I'm giving myself 14. Like I can't even think about it. What about a BJ? A quick BJ? Thank God I married the fucking Hoover vacuum. You're so kind. This is where your mind is already at.

I don't mean to brag, but one of my skills is BJs. You do it. You go at it. She's pretty good. That's so nice. Taylor, don't get a hard-on back there. I love BJs. I love BJs. I love BJs. Thank you for your profound conversation.

This might work out great for you, Michael. It's sounding really in your favor. I want to ask Bronson a question. During the time she's giving birth in the hospital, do you just have massive adrenaline? Are you tired at all? Are you just on edge? From the man's perspective. Or are you just wandering around the hospital?

Kind of both. Kind of tripping out but like do you want to sleep or you just kind of yeah yeah i'll take a little nap and i'll be pissed i get pissed every time i don't know if i'll be able to take i think a little uh a little maybe you could beat off i'm gonna be beating off during while you're giving birth that's the creepiest thing i've ever heard hey hey dad what were you doing when I was born? I'm in the corner. Well, your dad was drinking across the street. Yeah, my mom sent him away. Really?

Isn't there a thing where you have an orgasm while you birth? People say that. I don't see how that's humanly possible. Did you watch porn of people giving birth, and that's where you got that fact from, or what? I'm Googling it right now. I'm sure you are. You're going to get're gonna get in trouble this guy sits right near hr right near hr so when does it start to get easier in the fourth trimester like what month by the

sixth month when your body starts to come back i feel like i can be who i am at year two. I'm not going to lie. She's going to, she's spitting out her drink right now. Hold on. I'm not kidding, Lauren. I wish someone said this to me. Little plot twist here. Let's talk about clothes, specifically clothes at JustFab. You guys have probably seen this all over Instagram.

You've seen it on Stassi Schroeder. I know she has a collab with them and you've seen it on Facebook. Anyway, JustFab is on the pulse. seen it on Stassi Schroeder. I know she has a collab with them and you've seen it on Facebook. Anyway, JustFab is on the pulse. They're a leading fashion lifestyle brand that strives to inspire, guide, and motivate women from around the world to experiment with style. And their prices are right, you guys. They have clothing, handbags, shoes, kind of everything. Every piece is created by JustFab's in-house design team very specifically. They have all different kinds of styles. All you do is take a 60-second quiz really quick. I did it. And you get personal outfit recommendations. So it's kind of like having your own personal shopper, but online,

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Terms and conditions do apply. Happy shopping. Wait, so you're telling me that I can't have wine. I can't have sushi. I have to gain weight when I'm pregnant. Okay. Okay. While you're pregnant. Yes.

And then I have to take my brand new fake tits. Very loud, Lauren. No, Michael, this is serious. I didn't know this. I have to take my brand new fake tits. Ruin them. Ruin them. They're going to be ruined.

They're going to be ruined. Yeah. Are they really? Oh, 100. I'll show you mine. I just got them done. They're going to be so ruined. My nipples are so little.

I know. They're going to be stretched. Oh My nipples are so little. I know. They're going to be stretched. Like they will look... I'm going to really show you my boobs just so you can get a good... You better like enjoy these while they last. I don't even know what to do with those right now. Are they huge though right now? Watermelons.

Wait. So, okay. I have like a hundred questions. For breastfeeding, you think it's a hundred percent going to ruin my boobs? One hundred percent. And would you a hundred percent say you should breastfeed? Oh, I did every single time. So if you're giving advice to your sister, you say breastfeed.

Oh, it's easier. For me, it was so much easier. I can't even tell you because it's a built-in bottle. Like the moms that have to get up and make a bottle in the night, that is you standing up, going to the kitchen, warming, like you're so awake. When you have a, when you're breastfeeding, you have a little bassinet right by your bed. You just pull the baby up, breastfeed, put them right back down, go right to sleep. Like, why can't you make Michael?

Like, why can't I make Michael? Johnson never got up in the night one time, but it is because I breastfed. I really, he never had to feed the baby in the night. Well, I just don't wake up. He would, this is a good excuse. He never woke up. Not one time ever. How long did you breastfeed the first one?

I breastfed each of them two years. Two full years. And it's because they were addicted to the boob. They were straight up addicted. So you're saying that you don't feel normal for two years. I didn't feel like myself. If a fly lands on cotton in our bedroom when I'm sleeping, I'm wide awake. You are going to be awake then.

Oh, shit. I can't. If she moves an inch. Because one time she passed out when she was in the bathroom. It was scary. I have post-traumatic stress on this. And it just sounded like someone dropping a bowling ball. Oh, my gosh.

It was hitting her head. And I swear to God, anytime she gets up and goes, I think she's going to crash again. I can't sleep. So I'm fucked. Maybe you'll be a bottle in the night, then get lucky because if he's up you might as well make a bottle but if you okay let me ask you this if the bottle was nice and prepared next to you and you could just grab the bottle would you want that over breastfeeding or would you still go for breastfeeding my kids never took a bottle that was the problem i tried i would try

to have like leave them with a babysitter and they would take a bottle and they wouldn't do it slave to the niplave to the nip. Slave to the nip. I was their binky. I was their human binky. My kids were two years old. I'd be in the grocery store and they'd be like, boo-boo, mama, please. Like opening my shirt.

That's just like me right now. Taylor's not judging. He breastfed until he was 11. Oh, God. Taylor. I think he still does. Came with their own shit over here. Yes.

What's that guy's name? Robin? Robin. Yeah, Robin. That was the guy's name? Robin? Robin. That was the most, like, gross. That was the grossest part of the whole series. Robin O'Connor? So gross. Mother, throw him down the portal.

Super creepy. Okay, so after two years, you finally start to feel normal. And then you get pregnant again. Oh, my God. Is this a sick joke? No, it was really my life for the last decade. So I'm coming out of it. My youngest is four. He just turned five. And I feel like I'm like, oh my gosh, I am who I am. That's not to scare you. It's just to be straight up 100% real. Like the hormones, the babies, it's so gnarly that you just kind of lose a little bit of who you are. You're throwing yourself into service. it's so gnarly that you just kind of lose a little bit

of who you are. You're throwing yourself into service. It's not like, I don't know who I am and I'm unhappy with my life. Like you're just so busy as a caregiver that it doesn't really matter. Like you don't care about the things you used to care about. You did manage to post on social media though when you were like, I feel like I remember you posting on social media. Like you post it. You have your blog and everything. Oh, I kept up with everything. And then I got to a point where I was like, fuck it. Yeah, you've got I feel like the last year you've no, you just took a break. I feel like my kids are getting older and they want social media. And I'm like, oh, no, you're not going to have social media. And then I feel like a hypocrite being on social media. So I thought the best thing to do would just to live a life without it

and see what it's really like. Is it really doable? I honestly didn't believe it was possible to live a healthy social life without social media because it's how I talk to all of my friends. It's how I know what's going on in the world. It's just how we live our life. All of our businesses are on social media. So I was like, I'm just going to give it a year. I wouldn't have as much to do with it if it wasn't like part of our business. Hold on. Did you just have this epiphany one day? Totally not. It was a slow roll. I was like, why am I on Instagram? I'm just like scrolling. Like I have nothing to do. And I'm really a big believer. Like if you have something to share, use it to share, like use it to be of service to someone, something, Be an inspiration. Or if you have a craft, share your craft.

But I wasn't doing any of that. I wasn't blogging. I wasn't posting anything cool. I just was consuming. Like such a consumer. And I was like, let's just give it up. Okay, but can you guys do a podcast? I spend way too much time on those meme accounts.

I think Wes needs to start a podcast. No, I would be all about podcasts because I just hate photos. Seriously. Wes, we can talk about it whenever you want. Easy. Let's do it. I'll send you all the equipment. I think your podcast. No, I would be all about podcasts because I just hate photos. Seriously. We can talk about it whenever you want. Easy. Let's do it. I'll send you all the equipment.

I'll send you your podcast. You know what? You don't even have to leave your house. I'll send it to you. You can do it in your bedroom. I'm to the point where I'm free. So this is what I want to talk about. So when you have a baby,

think of it like a season. It's winter. Two years. You need a hybrid years and nine months. It's a two year long, it's a season, but it ends.

It ends. Especially with your first one, because you're so in it. You don't know what to expect. And every single month, something new changes like they keep you on your toes. Babies just keep you on your toes because the minute you find a routine that works, then they grow and they change and they morph. And you're like, what the fuck? Our routine. Now they don't nap at two o'clock anymore.

Like you're always pivoting, constantly pivoting. What's the best age you guys right now oh two two is the funnest they are little they're crazy but it is hilarious they're drunken little sailors everything is a comedy everything is hilarious okay two why does everyone say terrible twos because people are weird and i think that it's people that they can't stand to not be in control. So you just got to let it go. Let the little kid be a crazy ass two-year-old. It's a part of being two. Stop trying to mold them into not a two-year-old while they're two.

Two-year-olds are nuts. What am I going to do about my OCD of having shoe covers and couch covers? Oh, I don't know. It's really bad. You really need a kid room where you just don't care about it. We don't have that. You need help, Lauren. We're now just buying furniture that we've wanted.

I mean, I'm like, we've been married 12 years. All I do is design spaces and like that's all I live for. And it's now just happening. And our home is Ikea shit. Like the shittiest of shit because kids ruin it. They just fucking destroy it. And even cars. Like I'm driving a minivan. I love the minivan. But you know what? It's perfect

because I don't give a shit. I like that you drive a minivan. I think that's hot. I bet every mom creams her pants when you drive up for school. You guys, Bronson is, wait, can we talk about how Bronson is the hottest, cutest dad ever? Talk about it. Because he really is. If you guys don't go, if you need a visual for them, go look at their

instagram it's at brano right yep and at wesley yes but it's an underscore right at the end at the end you guys certain men that come in the studio and even i sweat because i blush okay so talk about what a cute dad he is you guys i have to just he is the best dad ever so on valentine's day every single year he goes to the kids school And this is without not me prompting. Like, this is from his own self. He gets the kids a rose. He has them deliver it to their classroom. Writes them a card. Takes them out on

dates. Like, he is dating them and showing them how a person should treat them. Setting the bar high. He is setting the bar so high. And he never did that shit for me. But I don't even care because it is so sweet that he does it for the girls that I'm like, you have a pass. Like, he is, you're a really good girl, Deb. Thank you.

You really are. That is so cute. You pick up the girls and take them on dates? Yeah. Yeah. And he, like, will open up the door for them. Oh, hell yeah. Doing that to the mother, too.

Here's my manipulation. Yes, yes. Doing that to the mother and being, like, really polite and kind to the mother is like a really good example. 100%. Yes. You know what's crazy is kids, they just watch everything. Like you think you're being sneaky and they hear it all. They know it all.

The other thing we do, which I think is a little bit taboo. People are always like, what are they? We tell our kids everything like we are completely 100 honest with them about every single subject santa claus yes so like if they are so our rule of thumb is is if they ask us about anything we tell them the truth okay so we let them be the guide but like sex oh they've known about it since they were like i like that yeah that's how my parents are weird i was raised mormon and like you don't have sex until you're married and then even then it's like it's taboo yeah it's really weird you want to do it more when it's so

like a no-no you know you're more curious about it it's like the kids that's not allowed to have sweets and they go to the friend's house and they just read the whole cover. Yes. Yeah. We cover it all. Like we talk to our kids about manipulations, threats, dating, narcissists, everything. We go so deep on every single topic because even if they're not understanding it now, it's like we're planting little seeds that will grow and for when they're ready to get

it. Because I think that where we really failed as kids was in our relationships, like boyfriends and girlfriends, we wasted so much time with weird ass people, drugs, doing drugs early on. Like we were so stupid. It's amazing that we're nothing truly horrible happened. And I think that we try to go extra in depth with our kids on those subjects just because we know the pitfalls. Here's my thing. Yeah. I think that we try to go extra in depth with our kids on those subjects just because we know the pitfalls here's my thing yeah I think I don't think anybody in the world in any any community should have the audacity to judge other parents like there's I I care so little honestly like I could not care about anything less about the way that I'm going to parent this kid like birds chirp

people chirp and like I mean I could the opinions of other people about how I'm going to parent matter so little to me I could not I don't know how to express how little it means to me no that's amazing but so when i like i think that parents need to parent the way they want to parent and you should reserve your judgments for your own household right like amen i do have to tell both of you something out of all the parents i've ever met in my entire life i hope i'm like you guys thank you i think you got the i think that you guys have done it the way i i look up to them as parents no it's just the way you guys the way you guys are doing it is like definitely you guys put your blinders on you do what works for you you don't give a fuck what

anyone else thinks well here's the thing like you're not going to shelter human beings from the world at some point people become they have to go out in the world on their own and that happens it's not 18 or 21 it happens a a lot sooner. I mean, I remember being a kid. I was running around doing shit when I was 12, 13, that parents would never dream their kids were doing. But I was equipped with some tools because my parents would tell me like, hey, this is what this looks like. This is what drugs look like. This is what alcohol looks like. This is what girls look like. This is what sex is. And so when I found myself in those situations at a young age, I'm like, oh, I've been talked to about this before i understand what they were what they were talking about people that

think they're going to shelter their kids from the world it's they're they're delusional i'm not judging them for doing that i just it's just a fact like you cannot protect a kid from the world around them like it's going to come at some point and mostly and it's probably going to come at them a lot sooner than you think yeah totally we read this article it was a japanese guy his daughter was going to be legal to drink and he took her out on a date and it was like the day before her birthday when she had all of her she was going to go out to a bar for the first time yeah and he took her to all these bars and paid for all of her drinks and just watched how she acted and had fun and had so much fun and then the night as it went on

and the drinks got it was about eight drinks i don't know what the number was but he was like okay when you're at eight drinks like that's when you go crazy so don't like that's your limit so she woke up the next morning she was all hung over breakfast was made and and her dad wrote a little letter that was like hey last night was so fun when you reach this amount that's when you don't know what's going on so that's your limit and i love like he gave her like a biopsy of every single drink two drinks it was really fun three drinks even fun four drinks it was a little bit sketchy you were getting a little messy five drinks you were talking to strangers having your arms around strangers so he gave her like a loving

handwritten note because he cares about her safety and it wasn't there was not no judgment no anything it was like he has her best interest and i think that that's kind of the way that we we want to do we want to be like that for our kids you know what that is the cutest story i've ever heard i know that reminds me of my dad i gotta show that's how my dad is he's so non-judgmental and it just like leads with love and i feel like it's really worked for me what happens is like when i that story reminds you like and again like not passing judgment but if you think the other way if a kid's scared to communicate with their parent about what's actually going on exactly then they're gonna hide things and bad things can happen when i was a kid and listen i did things way too early early. I was just a bad kid, however I was.

But I remember my parents would always say, listen, if you ever get in a situation where you're drunk or you're out of control, you always can call us and you'll never get in trouble for calling us. We say that. Right? And so I remember being a little kid, probably like 14 years old, and getting completely obliterated, which I shouldn't have been doing. But to the point where I was like, okay, I'm out of control.

And the person I called was my dad. He came pick me up. I was hung over for literally four days. Worse is like, I punished, like I didn't need to be punished. I punished myself. The hair was so bad, but I remember him picking me up and they never gave me shit about it. But guess what? It stopped me from doing that again. I was like, okay, I'm not going to drink like that again. I'm not going to get out of control. I have a safe space. Then they take the other side of that kids that are scared. And it goes the other way. There's a story in San Diego where these kids recently, was this in San Diego, Lauren? They were drinking and driving, shouldn't be doing, and they were getting pulled over by the cops. So they started, they all jumped out of the car and started running and hopping over freeway

bridges. And as they hopped over the second one, they didn't realize it was, oh, it was a bridge. It was an overpass. So I think like a few of them broke their legs. I think two of them died. It's really, really sad story. But again, it's like kids that are scared to call their parents and they get in these situations. They didn't want to get in trouble. And then something like that happens as a tragedy. And so, wow. What is it like adding a second kid? So one threw me for a loop because it's the biggest life adjustment you will ever face in your life. Nothing tops your first kid. Two is like the best ever. They have a buddy. You know what you're doing. That anxious feeling that I told you about, for me at least, was so much less. You're driving home from the hospital just speeding.

I know what it's like to be a mom. I kind of had some confidence going in the second round. I was like, two is fun. There's two parents, two kids. I can handle two kids. Nothing ripped at that time. Three, it's like, okay, can you like throw two balls to yourself? You can kind of like juggle two balls. I can't juggle three, but I had a third kid and it was like someone threw a freaking fly ball in my face and I just had to figure it out. He seems like a spitfire too. He's like, he's like in the best way. Like he seems like he has lots of personality. I knew when he came out, I legit had a feeling like a voice came to me and it was like this one, he's born wild. Just keep him alive. Like just keep him alive. That was my job. Just keep him alive. He's wild, but just lovely at the same time. So two is easy.

Two is wonderful. Three is a lot and four is a no i think i'm done you're kind of like on like edge though you say i think well because brownson's been talking about a vasectomy and that feels really final and really scary yeah it's scary that is so scary heard those things hurt because like i want another baby too but then i don't we don't want to go through it's starting over i miss them miss them so much. I miss little babies right now. The thing about I think. Like two year olds babies are fine they're just on the nipple all day but once they get

to like one and a half two oh you're going to love it Michael it's like your little buddy because they're with the moms you know and they're just first year. Dads really step into their dad role at like that one year old mark. They get to kind of shine.

Michael's excited. I'm excited. Do you love being a dad? It's the best. Maybe Taylor should be a dad. Maybe Taylor is a dad. Maybe he is. I've had some baby scares. No, you haven't. Have you really? I cannot confirm nor deny. Most of the women will deny.

No, but i think the thing that makes us good parents or any parent a good parent is just liking yourself as a parent like not this is when i when i feel like i'm tripping over myself is when i feel like i need to be in a mother role because then i'm playing a part but when i feel like I'm just being myself with a kid, I'm like in my flow. Like I think kids want that too. They just want you to be your best self. Like nothing like motherhood is a call to become your most true, happy, authentic self. That's what it did for me. You made me all over in this interview. Scared, excited, anxious. Because that's all it is. It's all the feelings all at once,

all the time. Okay. But I have another question that doesn't, it has to do with kids, but not really. I feel like I'm not going to be a mom. That's like, how do I say this nicely in the mom group? I'm not. Okay. At all. So like, how do you navigate that? Like if you don't like, you know, I have a girlfriend and she's amazing and she's the best mom, but, like, she's not a real mom. Like, she's not doing mommy and me classes and all that. And I really relate to that. So how does that work with the other mothers? I don't even think about it.

You just don't give it energy. I don't even ever think about it. That's kind of how I feel. Like, I'm going to not give it energy. But it would seem like, do your kids want you to, like, engage with the other mothers and the other kids? No, they've never said anything. Okay.

Anything like that. Perfect. Let's hope I have one like you. But then I am a psycho when it comes to, like, our home time. Like, we're doing the dishes and I am singing and dancing. And it's like, I'm a freak of nature. And they get that side of me. So I think I'm so with them when we're home that they don't expect me to be involved in any of their other stuff. They just know.

And what's the differences of personalities if you were just to describe each of them in one sentence? How's a room mom? Oh, gosh. What do you do? He's going to be the room dad. He will totally be the room dad. A room mom is like the person that plans the parties and like... Oh, yeah.

You got no chance of doing that. I know you. They're going to email you though, Michael, and ask you to sign up oh yeah i'll be right they go hard yeah they do go hard oh they go hard the pressure is real like they sign like clipboards emails i don't know what you is there like is there like a room mom nanny can you delegate it to a task rabbit? Yes. Someone would do it. Taylor. Have Taylor show up. I think Taylor would scare the kids. In riffs.

They wouldn't let him in. Okay. So give us like a one sentence description of each kid. Zuri is too smart and wise for her age and sassy. Age? She's 11. Okay. But she is like so beautiful and so talented.

This girl, she sings like, I don't know, like Aretha Franklin in this little tiny 11-year-old body. We don't know where that is. Boys are going to start coming around pretty soon. They're coming. It's happening already. But she has no idea she's pretty, which is weird. No idea. She's like the coolest little girl.

That's the best, though. Yeah, we don't give it life. Yeah, we don't give it life. We know she's pretty. We just don't even tell her. That's actually really smart. That's how you guys are, though, I feel like. You guys are like, you're so attractive and so beautiful, but just don't even tell her. Yeah. That's actually really smart. That's how you guys are, though. I feel like you guys are like you're so attractive and so beautiful, but you don't get that life.

That's what makes you even more attractive. Yeah. We don't like the looks thing. Like, I don't want to put any of their value or worth into how they look. There's nothing worse than a girl that knows she's beautiful, to be honest. Yeah, I agree. It becomes such a world of just disaster. Yep.

Are you going through something right now? No, I'm just saying in general. I think we all can agree the best girls growing up were the ones that were absolutely beautiful. They knew it, but they never acted like they did or they just didn't know it. Are you talking about me? We grew up together.

You're fucking right. You knew it. You walked around like a third. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't know if you thought of that. Taylor and I have known Lauren since we were 12. She was the girl that fucking knew it. She was hot. i was gonna say i don't know if you know taylor i've known lorna since you're 12 she was the girl that fucking knew let's not act like you were running around being like oh i never know how to blossom okay i did hear her sing on instagram insane she has a really good no like really good it's weird we don't know what to do with it we're just gonna like let her lead the way we're not gonna Instagram. Insane. She has a really good voice. No, like really good. It's weird.

We don't know what to do with it. We're just going to like let her lead the way. We're not going to. She could. I could be like that weird stage mob right now. And she'd be on like America's Got Talent. But I'm just not getting involved. Yeah.

If it happens, it happens. Yeah. I think that's smart. We'll let her lead. Remy is. We call her DW for delightfully weird. Weirdest. Most beautiful little funny thing I've ever... She's an alien.

Yeah. Like, me and her, I'll walk into the kitchen and she'll just be like, she is so weird, but hilarious. And then she's so service-oriented. She, like, wants to give us foot massages and little... Writes us little notes on our bed all the time. She's the sweetest. She is the sweetest little girl.

If you cross her, she is... Oh, scary. Holy shit. Oh, she is scary. Holy shit. Oh, she is scary. Middle. Yeah. Middle child syndrome is a real thing.

It's real. And she's like super sexual. Yeah. And she's seven. She like understands sexuality. And it is little boys, little boys in her class. So I just got a video from someone that they're two little kids in her class. They're in their friend's backyard and their mom hears them talking about Remy.

She starts like taking a video and they're like, dude, you kissed her on the shoulder and she told you you hated her. But like, you got a chance. Try again tomorrow. And they're like giving each other. They're being each other's wingmen. And they like love Remy and Remy is giving them zero attention. Like she's playing so hard to get and we couldn't be happier. Yeah.

But it is weird. It's like she knows, oh, she already knows how to play into that world. And then Ozzy, how do we even describe Ozzy? Oh, Ozzy. Ozzy is like the sweetest little boy. I mean, his name's Ozzy, which is a trip because you would think he's just crazy. Like metal. Metal. Metal. But he's like kind and obedient and thoughtful. And he loves me every single morning. He's like, mom, I love you so much. Let's snuggle. Like he just wants to snuggle.

Love me. He calls me pretty. Oh, I love him. He's the baby and he's always going to be a mama's boy. Yeah, he is a mama's boy. And I couldn't be happier about it. But the kids, I don't know. It's the coolest thing we've ever done. And I'll never get over it. I'll never want it to stop. I'm going to be that 100-year-old lady that wants my kids over all the time. It's just... Yeah, but listen.

You're going to be 100 and your kid's going to be 80. I know. I know. Your kid's going to be 81 if you make it to 100. That's so crazy to think about. That's pretty wild. I know. We're for sure going to be great, great grandparents.

Like, for sure. For sure. Yeah, we will. That's kind of cool that you guys like, checked the box at 19 and it's done. They're saying by like 2075, I may have this stat wrong, but they say by 2075 human life expectancy is going to stretch another 14 or 16 years. Oh my gosh. So if we get there, like, you know, I think, what is it?

Around like 70-something now? We'll be like 105. Yeah. And you know, I think, what is it, around 70-something now? We'll be like 105. Yeah. I'm waiting for technology. I'm waiting for this thing to come along, these nanobots that can go into your bloodstream and clean your blood and reverse the aging process. And you can live to 200. That's my goal. Oh, my gosh.

My buddy was just telling me this. Yeah. The place we went. We went to this place, Next Health. And they have that. Have you heard about NAD therapy? Yeah. It's just starting to get like

pretty good but there's a really cool book people want to check out it's called sapiens and they talk about this technology that's coming and we're still a ways off but it could happen you know it'll most likely for sure happen in our kids lifetime or maybe in your case your kids kids lifetime yes but but yeah crazy well how long can I do mushrooms? Because I'm like, when I give birth, let's go to the desert. Whenever you feel ready. Whenever you want. I just went to this wedding and lost my mind on mushrooms. Lauren wasn't there.

Chocolate mushrooms? Yeah. He doesn't like those as much, do you? No, he's about them. Well, they're good at a wedding. I didn't want to be too... I mean, a wedding wedding would not be my choice the chocolate mushrooms yeah for me okay i don't remember the last time i ate just regular like the mushroom it's been like in chocolate the chocolate mushroom no it's the best chocolate i ever eat it's dark chocolate with like sea salt

you can't even tell there's mushrooms in them but for you while you're breastfeeding so the reason that we're even involved in the mushrooms is it's like a natural antidepressant you can micro dose okay so you can do it while you breastfeed it's totally natural it's completely up to you like the person it's like a natural antidepressant and that's when i really really really struggle is like the first six months and i don't people can take antidepressants or anti-anxiety things i never did because there's this natural alternative that totally works like you don't get feel high or like you're like hallucinating it's just microdosing you thought the pregnancy police were coming in for non-pasteurized vegetables oh god the pregnancy police need to get busy i know i mean you know the ones that

really don't know they just they're uneducated on the whole process. They think it's something that it's not. I find most people chirping in are typically uneducated. They don't have any. They're thinking the worst. Or they're the ones that are reading the parenting books. Are you guys reading parenting books? Oh, let them read the books. No, no, no. I haven't read

any parenting books besides I'm reading Bringing Up Bebe, which is like so basic. But it's just about basically drinking wine and letting it go. Why you drink wine? I actually have two books. The only two books I'd ever recommend. Ever.

The Fourth Trimester. That one. And then have you ever heard of Dr. Shefali? No. It's The Conscious Parent. And The Conscious Family. Carly, who like you guys, I feel like I've introduced you before, The Prager's Pantry. Oh, yes. Gave me that book. Okay.

It's the only one I'd even recommend. Okay. Like that one is dope. And then the other ones that like made me feel good as a mom was freaking Tony Robbins' Awaken the Giant Within. My favorite book. And like The Four Hour Work Week. Those were the best parenting books.

I started kind of raising the family. Like I was like running a business. Like then I kind of felt like, oh, this is working. Like I really, I switched it. I switched it up and that I felt kind of good. Okay. I have the conscious parent. I'm going to get the fourth trimester.

And what was the first one you said? I have pregnancy brain. The conscious parent and the conscious family. There's two books. Yeah. Okay. We have that one. So we'll have to read that.

He started what to expect when you're expecting, but we haven't. I mean, I'm sure the books are good, but you just learn. You just do you. People are trying to do it. It's like business. People can tell you, oh, when this happens in business, you need to react this way. But until you're really in it is when you learn. And you guys know what's best for your business,. And you guys know what's best for your business.

Just like you will know what's best for your baby. No, no other dude is going to come in here and fix your business. Yeah. It's just like no book is going to come in and fix your parenting. You just got to do it through your heart. All right. So I look at the world and I go, okay, has this been done before? Okay.

Tony Perkins from heavyweight. Listen, again, people are going to give Heavyweight. No, but I... The Zero. Yes! We just watched that with the kids. Listen, again, people are going to give me shit for this. But it's like, you know, I'm very excited we're pregnant. But listen, it's happened before. People have done this for a long time. People are thinking you're not going to be able to run your business.

That you're going to be some weirdo. That your whole life is going to turn upside down, right? Oh, we'll see. We'll have to... People have been thinking shit about me for a long time. Listen, I swear to you, it will do nothing to you but make you super efficient i'm already more i feel more motivated and focused right now yep because you don't have time no and also because like before i'm like i've thought if this works out or doesn't like if i get that done it's like

just for me and for my wife i'm like okay but now i'm thinking okay like what there's something now there's there's a there's it's more of a reason and purpose and there's an entity that I want to protect and provide for some. It's, it's different. I'm like, I've always kind of like shoot from the hip kind of guy. Like if this works great and if it doesn't, like I'll figure something out. And now I'm like, okay, like maybe I should put a little bit more thought into some of the things I'm doing and the way I'm doing it. Okay.

But we will be meeting you guys after I'm done being pregnant. And is it the desert? Yeah. Yeah. Nipton. Nipton. I actually have some availability before she gets pregnant. No, you don't. No'm done being pregnant. Is it the desert? Yeah. Nipton. I actually have some availability before

she gets pregnant. No, you don't. No, you don't. We can put her in a birthing tent, bring the doula, go real old school. Oh, so hopefully someone to massage my sphincter. Wait, what is it again? I don't know what it's called. Is it called a perennium? No, it's a perennium, yeah. Oh, of course, you know what it is. It's between the, for males,

the taint and the anus. Okay, Taylor, you know that? That was the gooch. No, but the gooch is like the street name. Taylor, seven more words on this show and then you're off. Thank you for educating us, Taylor. Okay, I'll close it off with one quick phrase I was going to say earlier.

I believed in Santa Claus for way too fucking long. Same. That's all. Really? I did too. I was like 13. Yeah, I honestly, I was the kid when everyone was like, oh, I know Santa's fake

and I didn't pretend like, oh yeah, like, I knew. You're talking about a guy that legitimately believes he saw a UFO in the middle of San Diego, like, while we were all kind of around. It never happened. He also slept on the street for his birthday. He couldn't find a hotel?

Alright, Aaron and Robin, you're off the show now. No, Robin O'Connor. the street for his birthday because he couldn't find a hotel he couldn't find a hotel all right that's another story show now no robin o'connor where can everyone find you guys i fucking love your blog brano you're so talented with everything you do pimp yourself out maybe you'll get back on social media glad you came on the show so you're trying to get off the mic yeah i just want to hang with you guys yeah you can find me at brano b-rR-O-N-O. That's the only thing I use is the Instagram. And then mine is Wesley. W-E-S-L-I-E underscore

on Instagram. And I'm not that active, but I kind of have some stuff up my sleeve. Maybe I'll be more active. Okay, maybe a podcast because you were... What would happen if I just sent you a bunch of equipment and was like, this is exactly how you run this equipment. I mean, I would do it.

I'm all about talking. Just don't put a camera in front of my face. Listen, that's what I did. I mean, kind of these cameras are in our face, but not really. I didn't know those were there. You need a podcast. She does. I would do a podcast in a day.

It's so fun for me. I know a place that can do podcasts for you. No, she doesn't want to go anywhere, Michael. She wants to do it with her kids. I think you've got a pregnancy brain right now. I'll try it. Trying to pamper yourself a lot. Thank you guys so much for coming on.

Come back anytime you want. You're literally welcome to come back on anytime you want. I hope you're a recurring character like Taylor. We love you guys. And we're excited for you. I'm a little scared, but... Alright, I hope everyone loved this episode as much as we loved recording it. They are such a badass couple.

Anyways, if you love this episode, let us know your favorite part on my latest Instagram at The Skinny Confidential and someone will drop into your inbox and send you some cheeky stickers. We pick a bunch of people each week and we love to know your feedback. Also, guys, make sure you've rated and reviewed the podcast on iTunes if it's brought you any kind of value. And with that, we'll see you next week. This episode was brought to you by Thrive Market. Thrive Market is your one-stop shop for high-end, high-quality, and highly discounted groceries, supplements, beauty products, household supplies. Thrive Market guarantees its customers

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