The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - How To Manage Stress & Anxiety With Lauryn & Michael

Episode Date: June 23, 2020

#276: On this episode Lauryn and Michael are solo to share a list of tactics and practices that they use to manage stress and anxiety in their own lives. The couple share what each of them do individu...ally to help manage the stress of day to day life and how they are able to limit anxiety in their lives by doing so.  To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by BETABRAND and their Betabrand dress pant yoga pants. To try these pants go to betabrand.com/skinny and receive 20% off your order. Millions of women agree these are the most comfortable pants you’ll ever wear to work.  This episode is brought to you by HYDRANT Hydrant is a simple, morning hydration mix, optimized to hydrate you rapidly. Lightly flavored with real fruit juice = subtle, refreshing taste. Up to 3x the electrolytes of a traditional sports drink. There are no synthetic color or artificial sweeteners. It's also vegan and only a buck a day for a 30 pack. For 25%off your first order , go to DrinkHydrant.com/skinny or enter promo code ‘skinny’ at checkout This episode is brought to you by Nutrafol THIRTY MILLION women experience hair loss. But it’s not openly talked about, so going through it yourself can feel lonely and frustrating. It’s time to change the conversation and join the thousands of women standing up for their strands. Nutrafol is formulated with potent botanicals to help you grow hair as strong as you are and it’s physician-formulated to be one hundred percent drug-free. Visit Nutrafol.com and use promo code SKINNY for 20% your order and free shipping.  Produced by Dear Media

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The following podcast is a Dear Media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to The Skinny Confidential, him and her.
Starting point is 00:00:22 Hey, hey, hey. Happy Tuesday. Welcome back to The Skinny Confidential, him and her show michael in the yellow what's up honey i look like uh woody from toy store because i was wearing the bandana earlier because you gotta wear the masks and i i've adopted i don't wear the the medical mask anymore i wear the bandana and i'm actually kind of happy about it everyone's complaining about it sometimes you have to wear the mask but i've been waiting for this moment for a long time where you're gonna wear like the cowboy bandana on your neck? You know, the handkerchief?
Starting point is 00:00:47 You secretly love it. Yeah, I like it. I walked into the bank the other day like a robber. Obviously I wasn't robbing it. And the guy looked at me like normally it's a security guy there. And he would say like, you can't come in like that. But this time he was just like, I guess that's what you do now. You know, you're going with the face covering.
Starting point is 00:00:58 Okay. I'm all about the face covering. You know, the face covering is getting in the way of my makeup. If I'm being honest, I do cover my face. So no one freak out, but it getting in the way of my makeup if i'm being honest i do cover my face so no one freak out but it is like rubbing off on my makeup so they need to invent something for that and then like you know there's other things if i want to do things why do you need the makeup if you got the mask because you have to take the mask off when you get inside you never take the mask off when you never take it off sometimes i take it off big no no fauci would
Starting point is 00:01:23 not like that big no no you're gonna make it spread I keep it on full time they need to invent a mask that has a hole in it so you can suck on a straw gotta be careful what you say on podcasts about masks you know one of the bigger podcasts he's getting a lot of shit right now he's uncancellable though so a lot of people are mad he's saying Rogan you know he's out there he's saying master for bitches I was like shit I better put you know I better do I wear them out I don't want to be called out okay first I'm just kidding around but now we're gonna get now we're gonna get canceled okay okay so i want a mask though with a hole in it like i want a small hole for my pink silicone straw so i can drink my iced coffee out of it it's annoying and don't don't say something
Starting point is 00:01:57 i really just want the hole right below my mouth is yeah yeah you can stick your finger in it i won't say anything everybody welcome back to the show guys um we have an exciting episode today is it exciting yeah it's exciting it's a solo episode solo episode we're back just off of the release of our wildly popular podcast last week with dr michael gervais received very well bumping up the charts crushing it um and i think because one he's you know every time i talk to michael gervais i can't i i always kick myself like why do we not talk to this guy more often you know i was actually mad that it took us so long to have him on the show he's so great
Starting point is 00:02:33 so anyways if you guys haven't checked out that episode yet go back last week and listen all about dealing with anxiety you gotta sneeze there lauren lauren's about to sneeze that's okay you did you think i'm gonna edit that out i'm gonna keep it i don't care you can barely hear it i don't care okay you're off my game there but um yeah so all about anxiety dealing with um np what is nbds no it's narcissistic personality disorder yes and we also talked about how he wakes up in the morning so he said he wakes up every single morning. He takes a huge breath in through his nose, out through his mouth. And then he says three things he's grateful for in his head and sets an intention of how he wants the day to go
Starting point is 00:03:15 and then puts his feet on the ground and grounds his feet. And I've been doing that ever since he told me it takes one second. And I it's really helpful it's just a small little change that you can make to your day that adds some flair yeah so it's about dealing with anxiety stress np i thought i keep screwing up the acronym npd do you have it yeah i might have it i might i was as he was talking i was like shit do i have these do i exhibit these it's uncurable so even if i do just have to live with it long um And then knocking out negativity. Yeah, knocking out negativity. All these things. Can you cure that?
Starting point is 00:03:47 I don't know. Who knows? But anyways, so guys, check that one out. Today, we want to follow this up because sometimes we get letters and not letters, but what am I talking about today?
Starting point is 00:03:57 We get messages in a bottle. We get messages, yeah. Somebody drops a handwritten letter into the mail. A sparrow comes and puts it on our balcony. They type it on an old typewriter and they send it in to our post office. The carrier pigeon.
Starting point is 00:04:08 Box. Yeah, but so, you know, we get messages saying, hey, can you give us your tactics and follow up? So, you know, we have these amazing guests and they start talking about these ideas broadly. Sometimes they get really granular.
Starting point is 00:04:19 And then, you know, sometimes we leave it hanging and don't necessarily respond and talk about how we apply these tactics to our own life. So we thought this episode might be interesting to talk about how we manage stress and anxiety in our own lives, because I know this year has been really anxiety filled with for the entire world and stressful. And so we thought maybe, hey, listen to that one, and then maybe come back in this one and get some tactics that you could potentially apply to your own life to
Starting point is 00:04:43 manage stress and anxiety. And just so like everyone, we can lay it all out there. I think it's really important to let everyone know that we both definitely experience anxiety, like even depression a little bit. I've experienced a little bit of depression since I had a baby. And we're going to talk about how it got better. But anxiety is something we both experience just like everyone else. So I don't think anyone's untouched from anxiety. No, that's an important point. I would say it's the it's the biggest, it's the biggest hurdle mentally that I have to deal with is anxiety for me personally, for sure, all the time. Yeah, it's taken a long time to manage it. I don't say I've conquered it. I've managed it. I help manage
Starting point is 00:05:24 it. Tim Ferriss gave the best tip I've ever heard on anxiety and I continue to use this tip every day He said instead of waiting for the anxiety to come and then doing something to fix it. He's preventative about it So ever since I heard that I always am doing preventative things and you know that if you follow me on instagram through my instagram Stories i'm always finding creative ways to prevent the anxiety from even happening, which is why after I had a baby and I experienced that postpartum anxiety, it knocked me on my ass because I was so used to getting ahead of it. So this episode, like Michael said, is going to have a lot of takeaways in it. I hope if you just find one gem in here that helps you, we'll feel like we did our job. Do you want to start or would you like me to start, Michael Bostic? I would like you to start. And I think it's worth noting, you know, a lot of the
Starting point is 00:06:08 Lauren and I have been doing this for a while now. So in the beginning, we had to get, you know, we had to work in our notes a lot more. But I think as you practice the podcasting muscle, you get more comfortable. And so this is actually a scenario where we actually haven't even talked about what we have to talk about with each other. We just broadly, literally earlier today said, hey, let's do a podcast on this subject. And so we haven't, I don't actually don't know what's on your list. Yeah, I think we each definitely took our own notes. I have my own notes. He has his, but we haven't discussed the notes together because I was actually worried that
Starting point is 00:06:37 you were going to copy me. Well, what if we have the same? Then we just have to say, I'm going to call you out when you're copying me. So I'll go first. So the first thing I do when I'm in a really anxious scenario, and I don't know if this is good advice, but this is something that's worked for me, is I detach.
Starting point is 00:06:52 And Michael sometimes gets mad about this. But for me to wrap my head around things, I have to detach from the situation and take myself out of it. And how I do that is I read a book. I don't get mad at you for doing that. I actually admire that you can do that. And I envy you that you're able to do that because it's, you know, and I think I've gotten better at being able to do it, but many of us can't just detach. It's not as easy. See, that is something that you are blessed to be able to do because it's not as easy to just detach from things.
Starting point is 00:07:21 You were you talking, you would say, yes, it is. No, it's not. It's a choice. No, no, I know it's possible and I know it's a choice and I know it can be done and I do do it in scenarios, but you do it very easily and skillfully all the time. I wouldn't say easily. It's definitely a muscle that I've worked.
Starting point is 00:07:36 Okay, well, let's say you're better with that muscle than I am. Okay, so when my mom passed away, I was 18 years old and I obviously was traumatized and how I found the way to deal with it was to detach. I had to detach from it for a little bit, probably I would say like eight months. And I had to wrap my head around what was going on. And how I did that was I got outside myself and I did a lot of reading. I was in nature a lot. I would be quiet. I would have thinking time, but the main thing I would do is read and reading. I feel like takes you into another realm. So that's my first tip is detaching. This might be kind of fucked up to say
Starting point is 00:08:17 to you. And I don't know if I've actually ever said it to you, but in a weird kind of way, how am I going to say this to you without upsetting you or upsetting anyone else? When you've experienced a death like that, that's so close to home, that's someone like your mother, that is so traumatic and so difficult to process, I can only imagine, that what it does is it gives you a really strong perspective on other things. Like for example, if a guy break, if you were, say you were dating and a guy broke up with you, that is not going to be a comparable setback compared to the death of your mother. Or if you're in a business and the business loses money, like again, it's not comparable to the death of your mother. And so I think people that have experienced that type of traumatic death,
Starting point is 00:09:01 like you have in a weird way, and this is where I hope it's not offensive, have kind of a superpower because you've had to deal with such an extreme hardship. I have perspective. No, yes, you have perspective because that is about as bad as it can get. If I lost you, or I lost the baby, or you lose a parent, or a sibling, or a loved one, that's about as bad as it can get. In two seconds, if somebody gave me the opportunity and said, Hey, you either lose your wife or your baby, or you lose everything. I would throw everything else down a well in about two seconds, maybe less. So, and so I think when you've experienced a loss like that, it helps you when other things, and I've noticed this in your life, like aren't as big of a deal to you. Right. And I think in a weird way, I don't want to say
Starting point is 00:09:40 envy because it's the wrong way, but in a weird way, it gives you a perspective to not be as nearly as upset because you've already experienced something that hard. You know what's the worst, Lauren? What, Michael? Being thirsty and dehydrated. Yeah, especially you. You get like a dry pruney lip. I'm talking about personally, but also physically too. You don't want to be thirsty. You don't want to be thirsty. You don't want to be thirsty. You don't want to be dehydrated, which is why we started working with Hydrant. So this is this rapid hydration mix that has four essential electrolytes your body needs. So it has sodium, it has potassium, it has magnesium, and it has zinc. My personal favorites here are magnesium and potassium. And to know that I just have this little packet and I can put it in my water and it's going to hydrate the F out of my body is a real plus. They also, if you're more of a caffeine
Starting point is 00:10:29 fan, have hydrant plus caffeine, which contains a hundred milligrams of caffeine from green tea. So we always like to partner with brands that do their research and hydrant definitely does their research. This formula was developed by an Oxford scientist. Okay. It's made with real fruit juice powder. It's delicious. It's refreshing. They have all different kinds of flavors. And like I said, it's going to keep you hydrated. And it's super affordable. Hydrant starts at just a buck a packet for a 30 day supply. Plus you save even more with a monthly subscription. It's a big win. And like always, you can save even more with our offer. For 25% off your first order, go to drinkhydrant.com slash skinny or enter promo code skinny at checkout. That's
Starting point is 00:11:10 drinkhydrant.com slash skinny and enter promo code skinny for 25% off your order. drinkhydrant.com slash skinny and enter promo code skinny. Hydrant spelled H-Y-D-R-A-N-T. drinkhydrant.com slash skinny guys. Enjoy. Add this into your morning routine and get that hydration going. And since this episode is all about stress, what a better way to fight stress than with hydration. Okay, let's get back into the show. Yeah, I can be blasé about things.
Starting point is 00:11:36 I can be real blasé and it annoys you sometimes because you're probably right. I've worked out that muscle of adversity a lot and I'm sure there's a lot of listeners that have too and I don't know why you think that would be fucked up well i just wanted to be careful how i said because i know there's people that listen to the show that have experienced death like that that have experienced death of a child or a loved one or a parent or a spouse eloquent yeah and i and i think like in a certain way if there is there is not a lot of silver
Starting point is 00:11:59 lining there because obviously it's it's terrible to lose a loved one it's like my worst fear but the so if there is a silver lining, it's that as you go through the rest of your life, once you've experienced something that hard, the rest of the stuff doesn't seem like that big of a deal. You know, like if you lose a business deal or an advertiser or someone tries to cancel you, it's not nearly as big of a deal as losing your mother.
Starting point is 00:12:21 Well, maybe that's why this is a good one to start with because I know a lot of people that are listening have lost their job or they're experiencing maybe some kind of trauma in COVID. And maybe this one is a good one to start with because it is one that can really work out that muscle of adversity to just detach from the situation. I think sometimes when you are nose to nose with something and you're staring at it in the face all the time, you don't have perspective. So to detach, get outside yourself, read a book, get involved in someone else's story. It really, really helps. So I don't know if that's like the best anxiety tip, but
Starting point is 00:12:55 that's my first one. Well, I would say, I hope none of our listeners experience need to have an experience like that to discover that. But I if they did that is this it's a way to look at it you know i don't want to say i copied you here but my number one oh here he goes my number one what's your number one but i get tactical here my number one and two and you knew this was coming for me what is to read and because i i believe with reading you know they would there's a copy well with reading it helps like you said detach it helps you take you to a place it helps you give it it helps you see a different perspective. And one of the things I've been saying to read for years, if you're just like, hey, I don't have time to read a book, and I don't, which you do have time
Starting point is 00:13:32 if you take the time, but if you don't have the time to read a book and don't want to invest fully, one thing I have been saying on this show for years, and so has Lauren, is to read The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday. The way I use it is I read a page each day as it corresponds to the day of the year. I've done it for the last five years. And then I write back and reflect on the passage that I just wrote. I love stoicism. I think, you know, we've talked about a lot on the show.
Starting point is 00:13:54 We have episodes about it. So you can start there. But if you want to take it a step further, like I believe that if you want to get rid of stress and anxiety, you should read, read, read everything you can. Not necessarily a business book, if that puts you in a state of being like, oh, shit, I got to stress about business. But and read on a hard book, you know, not on a screen. Like I think a lot of people, you know, we get used to reading on our Kindle
Starting point is 00:14:16 or iPad or our phone, like to actually pick up a hard book. And what I like to read about when I'm stressed is hard lives and people that have had rough times. So one book that I've constantly talked about is Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. You know, he's a guy that he's a Jewish man that survived the Holocaust. He survived the internment camps and lived to write and talk about it. I think if you read that book immediately gives you perspective. You know, any biography about somebody that's had to overcome something really difficult. There's a lot of amazing biographies out there. Even novels. There's a good one called Shantaram. Lauren and I like a lot. It's also about a hard life. You know, and read about hard times. There's another book I just read. I'm just rattling them off here because frequent ones
Starting point is 00:14:58 called Empire of the Summer Moon. It's about the rise and fall of the Comanche Nation. And when you start to think, one, how hard the Native Americans had it in this country, and two, some of the settlers early on, like you'd just be out living with your family and next thing you know, you're being murdered. So I just think like when you start to read books, there's another one called Not Fade Away by Peter Barton. You know, he's a guy that had it all
Starting point is 00:15:19 and basically was diagnosed and later died really, you know, unfortunately. When Breath Becomes Air is a good one too. When Breath Becomes Air is such a good book, you guys, was diagnosed with uh and and later um died really you know unfortunately when breath becomes air is a good one too when breath becomes air is such a good book you guys if you need perspective you read that i stole that from you yep that's a good one one that i go back to all the time if i ever find myself worrying and it's and it's overlooked a lot because the author has written you know a powerhouse of a book called how to win friends and influence people don't read that one that one is a great one if you haven't you could check could check it out. But for anxiety, he wrote one,
Starting point is 00:15:46 a bet one that I actually like better called How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie. Like anytime I feel like I'm starting to worry, I check that one out. You know, and like I said, if you read and take the time to go and read about hard lives and hard periods of time and in times in history,
Starting point is 00:16:00 and we didn't have technology and didn't have the comforts that we have now, it immediately gives you perspective. You say, oh, okay, maybe I don't have it that bad. Even with what's been going on in the world right now with COVID, go read about the Black Plague, right? And read about how people were dying in the millions and millions and couldn't figure it out. And they were literally killing cats to try to solve for it. And it turned out that it wasn't the cats, it was the rats. And so when they killed the cats, it made all the rats go
Starting point is 00:16:21 even crazier. And just read about history and people that have hard lives. And I think it's a really good way to gain perspective and to stop worrying and stressing out. When they killed the cats, it made the rats go crazier? Yeah, because they thought that the cats, I mean, we didn't have, see, listen, here's a good example. We didn't have the type, or they didn't have the type of technology that we have now. You didn't have this news cycle. You didn't have information readily available. I mean, literally people started dying in one town and the other town didn't know it until they started dying. Like it was just, it was, you know, just that's how it happened. And so, you know, also with, with a lack of technology and scientific study back then they figured what,
Starting point is 00:16:55 what the hell is making us all sick. And they thought it was all the cats. They thought the cats were making people sick, but it turned out it was the rats. And when they started killing all the cats to get rid of it, think about what happened with the rats when all the cats are gone, multiply, it got bigger and bigger. And so even, you know, it got spread and spread and spread and more died. So it's just like, holy shit. Yeah. No, I mean, listen, people had it really fucking rough back then. I was reading this book, which one was I reading the other day? The point of the book was the average lifespan of a male at this book in this period that I was reading. And I'll think about it as this show goes on was 38 years old. I'm 33 right now. That means that in five years would be the
Starting point is 00:17:29 end of my life. I would be like, okay, I'm 33. I'd be an old, old man right now. I'd be done with three-fourths of my life. And then boom, 38, you're dead. So just think about that. And then when I read history, I'm like, okay, we don't have it that bad. Things aren't always the best, but we don't have it that bad. Just to play off because readings on my list to one of the books that I'm reading that I think it is so helpful and relevant in this time is untamed by Glennon Doyle. And I didn't know it's so popular on Instagram. But you guys, this book, it's the way she writes. She describes emotions and feelings that women have that you
Starting point is 00:18:06 can't put into words. And it's so relevant. She has a whole chapter on racism. She talks about body image. She talks about how important it is when it comes to disappointing yourself or disappointing someone else that you always have to choose yourself. You always have to choose not to disappoint yourself and choose yourself over the other person. And she goes into depth about it. So that's another good one to read. If you're feeling anxious, I bookmarked the fuck out of this book. I mean, I've highlighted it. I've read it to Michael and she's coming on the podcast. So I'm very excited about that. But this book is really, really good for the time that we're in, I think. Yeah. The Last Line by Winston, it's Winston,
Starting point is 00:18:50 not by Winston Churchill. It's about Winston Churchill. That's what, and it was about the Victorian era. I think that's right. History buffs will correct me, but that's when it was average life span 38, Victorian era, England. Last Line about Winston Churchill. That's it. But yes. If you've listened to this podcast for a long time, you know I am all about beta brands, dress pant, yoga pants. Guys, if you've not tried these, now is the time. We are at home and we want to look cute like we have it all together, but we also want to be comfortable and not have to unbutton our pants when we're on a Skype call. Is anyone with me? First of all, your ass is looking so lifted in this. I know after gaining 55 pounds and being pregnant that I needed a pant that held me in. So I immediately turned to this pant. This pant sucks it all in.
Starting point is 00:19:37 I got it in black. You know this, I got the skinny version and it holds everything tight and right. You can wear it with anything. You can wear it with boots. You can wear it with flip flops. You can wear it with a slide. I love it with a slide. You can even wear it with like a heel if you just want to go out and take a walk around the block at this point. Anyways, these pants are amazing because they're as comfortable as PJs, but they also look so professional. It's perfect for a work from home outfit. You know what I mean? My personal reason for liking these is because they're made with a wrinkle resistance stretch knit, so they don't wrinkle. Okay. You know, I'm the type of person that likes to wear the same pants a few days in a row. And so having these pants and knowing that they're super comfortable and stylish and they
Starting point is 00:20:20 don't wrinkle while holding me in is the real plus. Okay. So right now all skinny confidential him and her listeners can get 25% off their first order. When you go to beta brand.com slash skinny, that's 25% off your first order for a limited time at beta brand.com slash skinny. Find out why women are buying five different pairs of these pants. Go to beta brand.com slash skinny for 25% off. Okay, let's get back to the show. So the next thing, and I don't care if I sound repetitive about this thing because it's changed my life during quarantine and I believe it's changed my husband's as well. Breathing exercises, okay? I was meditating. I was meditating every morning for 10 minutes. I did it for three years.
Starting point is 00:21:08 I noticed that I felt more zen, but I definitely noticed that it wasn't a huge difference. Breathing exercises is a whole different level. Wim Hof came on the podcast. He said four hours of meditation is equal to 10 minutes of breath work. And after doing it and being a practitioner of it, I would totally agree. Now here's the secret ingredient. After you do his 10 minute breath exercise, it's free, no strings attached on YouTube. I just go on his Instagram bio and click it. Super
Starting point is 00:21:36 simple. I take a freezing cold shower, three minutes, freezing cold. Okay. I brush my teeth in the shower. I do my shower gel gel i use my cleansing balm i don't wet my hair i just let it the freezing cold water flow over my body and now i'm even used to it i put on a podcast and i set my timer for three minutes that mixed with the breath has been so energizing and it only takes me 15 minutes to do the whole thing. Whereas I feel like meditation, I would meditate and then I would take a long shower and it was a hot shower and I wasn't really like ready to go. If you know what I mean, meditation sort of puts me to sleep anyways. So I've taken a step back from meditation and I'm doing breath every single morning,
Starting point is 00:22:19 10 minutes. I even do it with the baby. The baby sits next to me and she like loves it. And then I take a freezing cold three minute shower. And before you get into your next one, what do you feel about that? Cause that's helped my anxiety. This is going to be disappointing to you, Lauren, because my next one actually had to do, I swear to God, I'm not copying you. I told you guys. No, but here, let me, let me tell you where it's a little different. I don't have, I try to, you know, my morning routine can't last as long as yours. I mean, your morning routine is basically
Starting point is 00:22:43 mid afternoon, you know, it's a morning lunch and mid afternoon. I need to have a morning routine can't last as long as yours. I mean, your morning routine is basically until mid-afternoon, you know? No, it's not. It's a morning lunch and mid-afternoon routine. I need to have a morning routine that is the foundation or I get in a bad mood. So here's what I do to switch it up, actually. My, I agree with you, after having Wim on the show and practicing, and, you know, we started doing this
Starting point is 00:22:59 right before we had him on the show, which is what triggered us having him on the show, the breath work. I do the same exercise, Lauren. I just go to Wim's bio on his Instagram and then click his breath work. But let me tell you how I do it, Lauren. I go and I stand in front of my juve in my man cave for the whole time, for 18 minutes in front of the juve, and then the breath works 10 minutes. And I've said this to you guys on the show. We've had the juve founders on this podcast. I use the juve every single day. For those who don't know what it is, it's red light therapy.
Starting point is 00:23:25 I stand in front of it. I do the breath work for the full 10 minutes, front and back, turning and turning like a rotisserie chicken. And I feel like with the lack of being able to get outdoors this year, while we've been in quarantine, the Juve has been a game saver.
Starting point is 00:23:41 So I do that with the breath work. If you want to see what he looks like, butt naked in front of the Juve head over to my instagram because there's a naked um back front back back ass picture listen there's there's a key to using the juve i do it in the morning right when i wake up because of that red light therapy one it not it starts getting the circadian rhythm going he's right i get the it helps with inflammation it helps with with uh recovery it helps with anxiety it helps with anxiety it helps have better skin it helps with inflammation. It helps with, with, uh, recovery. It helps with anxiety. It helps with anxiety.
Starting point is 00:24:06 It helps have better skin. It helps with muscle recovery. It helps with your hormones. It helps boost testosterone. It helps with your libido. Pumps your balls up. Listen, I'm not even, you guys have heard me talk about this. Go to juve.com slash skinny, J O V V.com slash skinny.
Starting point is 00:24:19 That's a bonus spot for you guys. Juve. I know they listen sometimes. It's bonus free. Don't tell the other advertisers, but honestly, guys, I i would check that out i do the breath work there and then right after that i followed up with the freezing cold shower i haven't had a warm shower in what month and a half now who told you about it you but it's weird because with the cold shower in the beginning it's hard but then you start to crave it like i don't even want a warm shower i don't want a warm
Starting point is 00:24:39 i do want a warm shower at night i wind down with that like five minute warm shower at night but in the morning it's only cold from here on out. I'll never do a hot shower again. And I want to give you a compliment on air that I haven't told you about. Did you know, and this is true, that taking a freezing cold shower every single day gets rid of those spider veins and capillaries? Where are they? You had broken capillaries by your nose. Oh, they're gone. And they're gone. And I was going to tell you this the other day.
Starting point is 00:25:06 It's because you're taking those freezing cold showers. So if you struggle with broken capillaries or spider veins, the freezing cold shower really helps with them. The freezing cold shower also tightens the fuck out of your face. That's just a side note, which is awesome. Trust us. You know why it's so good? Because it's a hard thing to do in the morning.
Starting point is 00:25:24 So you get there, you get your breath work, you get your mind in the right place, then you jump in a freezing cold shower. And immediately it's doing something hard, which helps me, it helps get your stress down. And it also helps you feel like you've got an accomplishment going and then you come out and you're super sharp and on point. And so, you know, I feel like it's just a muscle where it's like constantly putting yourself in discomfort to the point where you actually crave it. And to me, like it, it's like constantly putting yourself in discomfort to the point where you actually crave it and to me like it it's definitely helped with anxiety i'm not stressed in the morning i go in like completely aware and completely pumped up i can tell you right now and i like would sign off like my life that i will never ever ever again in the morning not take a freezing cold shower
Starting point is 00:25:58 are you on board with that i'm after i'm addicted now yeah i mean i have to do some combination of it we went to a hotel this weekend and i did a combination of cold, hot, cold, hot, but you always end with the cold. Always end with the cold. I didn't want to end with the hot. It makes me too tired now. No, you start with the cold, then you go hot, then you go cold. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Okay. So you want to go next or should I go into it next? I want to get one first because I feel like you're going to keep getting them. You're going to just keep reading mine though. No, I'm not. I can't even see yours. I know, you copy me. I can't even see yours.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Our computers are like Battleship right now. I know, but you just- I have like B3, B7 not. I know you copy me. I can't even see yours. Like our computers are like battleship. I know, but you just. Like B3, B7. Yeah. Okay. And it's a hit or not a hit. Let's hear it. A lot of battleship people wondering what's that?
Starting point is 00:26:31 Like, you know, they're like, oh, that's a good reference. Some people think what the fuck is battleship. All right. I'm going to go on a tangent. We got to work out. Got to work out. And sometimes you think I don't work out as much, but I'm working out my whole life. That's a bit of an obvious one.
Starting point is 00:26:42 No, but it's important because people slack on it. They go, oh, I'm in quarantine. Maybe I'll be like, pushups. If you can't do anything, pushups, sit-ups, dips, and air squats, and lunges. I do those pretty much every day, no matter what. I agree with you on the working out. The second that we started quarantine, I told myself, Lauren, you are not going to use this as an excuse.
Starting point is 00:27:02 I literally had this conversation with myself to sit around and do nothing. So six to seven days a week, it's on my calendar to work out, whether it's on Skype or it's P-Volv or the Skinny Confidential Body Guide or I'm doing an Instagram Live and I'm always, always walking. So those are the things.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Sometimes people get overwhelmed with like the big workouts and why I just mentioned the easy ones. Just work out at home. Is the ones I just mentioned, you could do those those in 15 20 minutes a day and get them in no i don't buy that people don't have time to work out i think that i think when people tell me that they don't have time to read and they don't have time to work out i i don't buy it you make time you make time you figure it out and those are two things one is expanding your mind and the other
Starting point is 00:27:41 one is in my opinion expanding expanding your body, your mind, your spirit. I don't know if expanding is the right word, but it's making you feel better in your wellness. Those two things are things that you can put 15 to 30 minutes aside a day. Well, listen, if you're physically exerting yourself and you're making yourself tired and exhausted from doing it, you literally don't have time in your mind to go and worry at the same time. Like, have you ever been, you know, on a mile long run or running up a hill or doing a workout?
Starting point is 00:28:08 Like, you don't start stressing about all, like if you're actually exerting properly, like you don't have time to go, your mind doesn't go to a place where like, oh my God, I got to worry about like my husband or my wife or my kids or my job. Like you're exerting yourself. And so it's scientifically proven
Starting point is 00:28:21 that working out helps with anxiety, stress, depression. So why would you not do it? I know it's hard, but that's the point. I like to do my workout, and this is weird. Sorry, Michael, after my freezing cold shower. I like to do it in the morning after my freezing cold shower, and then I do a warm shower at night. So you just like put up with me for the whole day.
Starting point is 00:28:40 That's where we're at in quarantine. Okay, so the next one that I talk about all the time that I can't stop talking about is not checking my phone in the morning. I just, this morning I made the mistake on a Monday and you never fuck with the Monday. Do not fuck with a Monday. Okay guys. I knew something was wrong with you this morning. I checked my phone this morning when I woke up, it derailed my whole day. It derailed my whole day too. Don't do that. Yeah. I'm so sensitive to it now because I'm so used to not checking my phone. I went in and checked my text messages and I truly had 105 text messages when I woke up and it was all fires that needed to be
Starting point is 00:29:19 put out. And I just went on this tangent of just checking all this stuff and I shouldn't have done it. So my tip is don't check your phone for an hour to two hours in the morning. Honestly, I wake up at seven. I don't touch my phone unless it's to turn on a podcast or music or to read. And I prefer to read a regular book, but if I have to read, I'll read off my phone, but I will go straight to the book app i don't even if you open those damn text messages or your email forget it you're done you're done i'm gonna i'm gonna say five my fifth and sixth one because it's gonna i swear to god i don't we must be super in sync like but so i'm gonna blend mine together here because it doesn't seem to copy but i swear
Starting point is 00:29:58 to god i swear i didn't see yours i don't know i don't know what you're doing but mine it's not it hasn't i could be better at not looking at the phone in the morning. Cause I'm one of the worst. I be honest. You have a guest on here every time. We're like, and you wait for them to like, Lauren,
Starting point is 00:30:10 like Lauren looks like a kid on Christmas. When a guest comes on this show and says, don't check your phone in the morning. And she, she turns and stares at me. Like I haven't heard 18. It gives me anxiety and ups. My cortisol in the morning.
Starting point is 00:30:21 When you're on your phone, admit, you do that. Admit listeners to call out on us. Whenever a guest comes on, it's this phone. She goes, yeah, I do because I'm trying to give you every hint in the morning when you're on your phone. Admit you do that. Admit listeners, call her out on this. Whenever a guest comes on, it's this phone. She goes, uh, uh, uh. Yeah, I do because I'm trying to give you every hint in the whole entire world
Starting point is 00:30:30 to stay off your phone in the morning. It's so counterproductive. I'm not perfect. I'm close to it, but I'm not. Really? Yeah. Anyway, so I'm just kidding. But here's one thing that's kind of in line with that.
Starting point is 00:30:41 I have a rule that I do not check and respond to emails more than three times a day. So before you jump in, you're going to say, no, I see you looking at it. That's a difference. That is such a lie. No, it's not. It's not a lie. You refresh your email.
Starting point is 00:30:52 No, no, no. I look at what's coming in, but I do not sit down on a computer. I pick morning, midday, and afternoon. And my team will tell you, they'll get emails from me typically at those times because I'll see what's coming in. But I never, ever work on somebody else's inbox to-do list ever. I always set specific times in the day that I choose to respond emails. Typically that's in the morning between nine and 10 when my workday starts, my official workday, when my team's in there, when I'm working, typically around lunchtime. And then typically
Starting point is 00:31:20 when the workday is over between like six and seven is when I get in. I find that people that live in their inbox and are constantly responding as soon as something comes in, you're constantly working on somebody else's schedule. As a matter of fact, Lauren, if you want to call me out, I will sometimes not even respond to emails at all. If it's an email with somebody just reaching out and asking me to do something that is not to my benefit or not to my team's benefit or just not to benefit to respond, Sometimes it just goes in the trash. And it's not to be rude. It's that if I can't give 110% to something, 110% to something, I don't, I don't, sometimes it doesn't get a response. It's impossible. And we've gone to this place, I'll even throw a text in there where, where people think because they get a text or an
Starting point is 00:31:58 email, they have to respond to it. Let's go off on a tangent about text, because this is something I've really wanted to talk about. This is a little tangent. Okay. If someone texts me or you or anyone, do not expect a text back immediately. And if I do, or you do text back immediately, it doesn't need to be this conversation like you're on the phone. I sometimes take two to three to four weeks to respond to a text. I don't, and Glennon Doyle talks about this in her book. I don't believe that just because someone sends a text that they deserve an immediate text back.
Starting point is 00:32:37 When you're texting someone, you're coming into their space and asking for their time. So in my opinion, you should respond on your time. I know you're talking about texts here and emails, but I actually consider this with all human interaction. Even someone walking up and saying like, hey, if they walk into my office or they walk to me out the street or they see me out,
Starting point is 00:32:56 like any type of human interaction that starts off with somebody coming in and asking for your time out of nowhere, without a plan in place, without a request, doesn't necessarily get a response from me. And it's not that I'm trying to be rude. It's that I'm trying to not let somebody down later by not being able to fully commit. And I think we've gotten to a place here where we all, because we're so connected on email and text and phone and where all these platforms that people are feeling obligated to respond to everything.
Starting point is 00:33:24 And it's just not humanly possible. Yeah, it's not humanly possible. And honestly, phone and where all these platforms that people are feeling obligated to respond to everything. And it's just not humanly possible. Yeah. It's not humanly possible. And honestly, I have to be honest. What's the date today? June what? I don't know. 20th. I have not responded to my birthday texts. On my birthday, I think when you're celebrating your birthday, I do not want to be on my phone responding to text messages all day long. So on my birthday, I put my phone away and I still haven't responded to all the text messages. Well, this year I got an actually, so here's a good example. And listen, I don't want to get into a negative space because there's going to be a lot of people here that have a hard time with this. Like you should respond to everything. And what I say to those people is, you know, yes, to a certain point, but say you have a thousand
Starting point is 00:33:58 messages a day for a thousand different things. Like, are you able to respond to everything and give it full force? Also, I think when you bring life into this world and you have a baby to take care of, Ryan Holiday talks about this. When he's spending time on other people's to-do list, it's taking away from time of the person that he loves at home with his kids. Yes, but the reason I mentioned this
Starting point is 00:34:19 and why it's relevant to this episode is it's all about managing stress and anxiety. And if you have a to-do list that's not yours, that's, you know, 50 other people that's not concentrated in one place. And it's 50 different things in 50 different directions that's going to contribute to stress and anxiety in your life. And so to minimize that you have to be selective about the things you choose to respond to. And, but, and also when you choose to respond, you have to know that you can commit 110% because there's nothing worse. Like say someone asked me something, it's like, Hey,
Starting point is 00:34:44 Michael, can you give me advice? And I choose to respond. I need to make sure that I give 110% because there's nothing worse. Like say someone asked me something like, Hey, Michael, can you give me advice? And I choose to respond, I need to make sure that I give 110% of that to that advice. Because if I don't, then I'm letting that person down, which does what contributes to more stress, more anxiety to me, it doesn't help that other person, which stresses them out and gives them anxiety. So I think we have to be selective here. And so the point of me saying this is that it's not about being rude, it's about making sure that if you're having a social interaction with someone or you're responding to something or you're jumping in that you actually can commit, because if not, you're going to be stressing yourself out. You're going to be stressing them out.
Starting point is 00:35:13 You're going to get anxiety. It's not, it doesn't play out to anyone's favor. Little break to give you a hot tip. Okay. Zaza has been doing this thing where she pulls out my hair. So not only am I having postpartum thinning hair, which everyone experiences after the birth of a baby, but she's also pulling out my hair.
Starting point is 00:35:32 The other day it was like in her knuckles and her fingers. That makes two of us, me and Zaza. Okay, like everyone's yanking on my hair. So Nutrafold sent me a while ago their products to try out. Basically, their whole entire mission is to help you grow thicker fuller healthier hair which is exactly what i need right now like i said i have damaged hair from styling tools since i use so many styling tools and also postpartum hair loss and then between zaza pulling the hair out it's it's gnarly so i really have focused on um finding a product
Starting point is 00:36:02 that helps my hair grow thicker you should also know that 30 million women are experiencing hair loss, but not a lot of people talk about it. So this is something that was important to talk about on my platform. I feel like talking about this and talking about these kinds of issues is important because we're constantly trying to change the conversation.
Starting point is 00:36:21 Just to give you some specifics, Nutrafol is formulated with potent botanicals to help your hair grow as strong as you are. Everything is physician formulated, and it's 100% drug-free. All you have to do to start is you just visit Nutrafol.com and you take their hair wellness quiz, and basically it customized the product for you. So I went on, I just clicked what I'm experiencing, and then they like picked the product for me right then and there, which was amazing. You can can grow thicker healthier hair and support the skinny confidential him and her show by going to neutrafold.com and using promo code skinny to get 20 off this is their best offer
Starting point is 00:36:54 available anywhere you should know plus free shipping on every order get 20 off at neutrafold.com promo code skinny spelled n-u-t-r-a-f-o o l dot com promo code skinny for hair as strong as you are okay back to the show it's funny that you say that i'm interviewing some um some people for my book that's coming out next year and some of the people say yes and they send me back like really lazy work it's like one sentence answers. It's disappointing, right? And it's so disappointing. I would rather you just say you can't do it at this time. And then other people, and I'm just going to shout her out here right now, Kristen Cavallari, she is so busy and she's got so much going on and she was so professional and sends back these meaty, beautiful answers. And you can tell that she's one of those people that
Starting point is 00:37:46 doesn't commit to anything unless she's going to give 100%. So my thing is, if I'm going to text someone back, I don't want to just text yes or no or heart it. I want to actually give a good response. Or I just think that I'm not going to text back. Yeah. So I think I would say this. If anybody that's ever listened to this show has sent me a message and I haven't responded, it's because I haven't been able to give 110% and I don't want to let you down. I'd rather be this guy. I'd rather be the guy that says, hey, I emailed that person and never got a response. I'd be like, that was kind of rude.
Starting point is 00:38:16 As opposed to, yeah, I emailed that guy and he gave me this shit response and it was like really like lackluster response and anything. I don't want to be that guy. Or the reverse of that is you email me and I do respond. I want it to be like, I want a rave review like you just did with Kristen. And I don't want to be in the middle. And so I think that, you know,
Starting point is 00:38:34 especially now with the child and, you know, wanting to take as much extra time as I can to be with her. I think that for anybody listening, try not to live, this was like a really long response. We went on a tangent here. In your inbox, at the mercy of your text messages, at the mercy of your phone calls. It's not worth it. It's disappointing not only to yourself, to others. It causes so much stress and anxiety for everyone. And so I would highly encourage people to be selective in their responses. I completely agree. And I think that's
Starting point is 00:38:59 giving us a lot of anxiety is feeling like we have to respond to everything. If I see a DM about a shirt that I'm wearing and I see see a DM about a shirt that I'm wearing and I see a hundred DMs about it, I'm just going to answer it in one swoop on my story. So everyone can get the answer. But if I see a question that's, that's super unique in my DMs and I haven't answered it, I'll really try to respond. So I think it's, it's about picking and choosing what you can do and what you're capable of. And like Michael and I just said, if you have kids, you have to know where to allocate your energy. And the sixth one there,
Starting point is 00:39:26 because I said it was five and six, is just be quick. If you're following, if you're on social media a lot, try to limit that, you know, even set a timer. What I do on my phone is I set a timer on my Instagram
Starting point is 00:39:34 where like you can do it into your settings and like screen time. And it literally kicks me off if I go past my allotted time. And with something that you've said a long time ago, if you're following anybody on social on any platform, TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, podcast, anywhere and they make you feel bad
Starting point is 00:39:48 or they make you feel triggered. Well, you shouldn't, you should unfollow, stop listening, stop consuming because it's just contributing to more stress and anxiety in your life. And listen, there's a lot of amazing creators out there that you can align with. You don't have to follow every single person.
Starting point is 00:39:59 If they trigger you, like, which, you know, that's an issue you got to deal with, like unfollow, don't do it. If someone isn't providing value to my life, I wasting a minute a day two minutes a day three minutes a day consuming their content that's a lot of fucking minutes a year and that applies to us too like if you ever see anything from us and it triggers you or gives you stress or anxiety like unfollow for a while like it's okay i'm not i'd rather people be in a good headspace it's like it's like toxic people you don't want toxic people in your ether in your space so why should you have
Starting point is 00:40:24 it on social media which brings me to my next point which i don't know how you're going to react to but since i gave birth i have backed the fuck off emails i found that emails were everyone else's to-do list i found just covered this yes but hold on i'm going to even take this further i found that by the time i logged onto emails two weeks later, half the shit had been solved anyways. So it didn't even need a response. I've told the story about the fax machine on this show before. Tell it again. No, no, no. My dad told me the story about a good friend of his.
Starting point is 00:40:57 I love how you say no, no, no, and then you start into the story. Okay. All right. Go ahead. Gather around the fireplace, everybody. Yeah, my dad had a really successful business partner back in the day. And the guy told him a story. He said, whenever, you know, they used to communicate off fax, maybe even like the Pony Express back then. And that's a little Pony Express joke.
Starting point is 00:41:15 He didn't laugh. But he, you know, he would get these faxes and they'd come in and they'd say, urgent, urgent, get back ASAP, ASAP. And he said he would take that fax and he'd put it at the very bottom of the pile of faxes. And he said, as he worked through the rest of the faxes and got to all those things,
Starting point is 00:41:28 by the time it got back to the top, it either, one, sorted itself, two, been irrelevant, three, gone away, or four, actually was important. And like, then he had to pay attention. But typically 75% of the time, it was just, you know, it wasn't as urgent as they thought. So that's what I did after I gave birth.
Starting point is 00:41:43 I decided to get off email and that meant for like five months. I had a maternity leave sign. I just turned it off. And anything that was really important probably got to you. And exactly. That's exactly what happened. And I went through 3,000 emails and there was maybe 50 that were really important. And what I was doing was I was just checking, and this is a trick that I really don't want anyone to know, but I will share it. I just checked my email on Sunday night. And here's why this trick is amazing. If you check your email and respond on Sunday nights, no one is on email. So imagine it's just
Starting point is 00:42:17 like silent. It's just peaceful. Now, if you decide to return all your emails on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, what's going to happen? You're going to get an email right back. On Sunday, there's no response, which is lovely. So I go in, I respond to all my emails. There's no response back and it feels really peaceful and serene. That's why I love going to Europe and having a nine hour time reference because you start working on a Monday and it hits everybody up. It makes me horny. And then what I also do is
Starting point is 00:42:46 after I've emailed my team 8,000 emails, I say to them, please do not respond to the emails to flood my inbox. Let me know on the call next time we talk on our sprint, the answers. So what I, no, you know, you're taking notes. You know what it is? I got, I'm just done with the emails now.
Starting point is 00:43:03 I'm done. I'm kind of done with emails. We beat the emails to the dead. I'm also done with text oh i mean in general i'm done no i mean like in this conversation okay we got it okay all right we got it so uh the next thing that i did to manage my anxiety was get my hormones checked and i'm not going to go into too much on this because i want to do a full episode on it, but it turned out my hormones were completely out of whack and I am now doing a ton of different things to get them back into place. And I don't know if that's the right verbiage. This is new for me. But anyways, my hormones were out of whack. I got them checked. If you're feeling out of whack or you're feeling super anxious and like really
Starting point is 00:43:39 irritable, I would highly recommend going and getting them checked. And here's the tip. Don't go to your regular doctor. Go to a hormone specialist because the hormone specialist is going to look at your blood levels differently than a regular doctor would. A regular doctor is gonna look at the whole general scheme of your blood, whereas a hormone doctor is gonna look really, really micro
Starting point is 00:44:01 and see what's going on. Like I said, I'm going to do a podcast on this, but that's another tip if you're feeling anxious. I haven't done that yet, but I need to do that. Yeah, you're going to do it. No, I'm scheduling. You know, here's one, here's a small one, but I find it helpful. Sometimes, you know, you're ever sitting on a plane or not. Wait, none of us are sitting on planes right now, really. But if you're sitting around, you get like that wave of anxiety. Sometimes I get it. You might not experience it, Lauren. But what I do whenever I'm feeling that way is I stop and I open my notes app
Starting point is 00:44:25 and I write a minimum of 20 things that are good in my life. And it could be like, I have a great dog. It could be something so stupid. What do you write about your wife? I have an amazing wife with a great set of cans and perfect babies. It could be that.
Starting point is 00:44:39 That could be one. But my point is, I think sometimes when you start, it's like, oh, a lot of us are like, maybe I don't have 20 things. You have things it could be little things but if you get down the list and you take a time in like five minutes and just write as 20 good things in your life could be you have a good friend you have a good boyfriend you have a good dad you have a good like whatever it is you have a you had a good lunch like you read a good book like 20 good things if you do that every time you start to feel stressed you're going to start to feel better over
Starting point is 00:45:03 time and so like that's just a small thing I do. Anytime I feel a little bit anxious or a little bit fearful, you just write that and it helps get perspective. Another thing Michael and I have done to manage our anxieties and actually has helped our relationship a lot is mushrooms.
Starting point is 00:45:19 And I have talked about this on the podcast that we are not going to talk about this until we have an expert on the podcast. So we can tell our story and they can tell the science behind it. Cause like I said, we're not experts, but shrooms have really, really helped me with postpartum anxiety. Like it's almost gone. Yeah. But I don't want, I don't want people to go out there and run off to do it without having the proper resources in the proper setting and the proper information. And so please hold on that one. And Michael Pollan come on the show.
Starting point is 00:45:48 Okay. Another one that I guarantee is not on your list when I fucking guarantee it. I guarantee it is. I guarantee you it's not. What? If you're stressed about finances, there's a lot of people that is that on your list? No. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:45:58 Fucking knew it. My wife, my wife has no idea. If I, if I die tomorrow, like you don't even know where to find our money. I just, it's just not my favorite subject. Clearly, I know. But for those people that... There's a lot of people out there, especially now with this post-COVID era that we live in, that are stressed about finances, think about money a lot, think about how to make a living, wondering what's in their savings, wondering how to invest, all these things. And I think to try to give a whole podcast on all the intricacies of finance, we can start working on that if there's people that are interested. But
Starting point is 00:46:28 one simple thing that you should do if you're somebody that is completely stressed about finances, what I find is that most of the people that are stressed about finances actually have very little understanding of money and finance. They are, the people that are the most stressed are typically the ones that pay the least amount of attention. Maybe not you, Lauren, but they're scared to look in their bank accounts. They're scared to look in their savings. They're scared to look at their bills. They don't want to look at how to invest. And it's because it's stressful.
Starting point is 00:46:52 Every time they look at it and it's a low number, it's not where they want it to be, they stress themselves out. So I find the best way to not be stressed about finances is to understand money and finance. And there's one book that I would recommend that has actually been really helpful and explains it in a very layman's term type of way, surprisingly, you know, is by Tony Robbins. It's called Money Master the Game. And for anybody that's sitting there, like, maybe it sounds like a boring subject, but if you're somebody that's constantly stressed about finances and money and savings, and I could not recommend this resource more than enough because you'll start
Starting point is 00:47:25 to understand money, how to invest, how to save, why you save, how to squeeze more out of your income. And I think if you understand money, and that's the whole point of this book, it'll alleviate a lot of the stress points and anxiety around money. I just want to say that from an outside perspective, I watched Michael read this book, and I watched how he began to manage our finances and it was a completely different energy. So that book is for sure, it should be on everyone's list. Well, there's a few books, but I think that one is a really good place to start. You have to do an episode all on money management. The reason I tend to stay away from that is I'm
Starting point is 00:48:01 by no means a financial expert. You're pretty good at it, Michael. I'm supposed to write this piece for CNN and they asked about finance and I don't know if I'm going to... You're equipped. I'm equipped to talk up to my experience, but there's many people that are much more equipped, which is why we should probably have those type of people on the show. But I would say, if you're somebody that's constantly finding yourself stressed about money, start the path of understanding money and finance.
Starting point is 00:48:22 And that's a good place to start because it'll alleviate a lot of your stress just by understanding. Not just like anything else though. The next one I have on my list is thinking time. I learned about thinking time from Ray Dalio. Now this sounds almost dumb, thinking time. But thinking time has changed my life. I spend five to 10 minutes a day thinking. I'll
Starting point is 00:48:47 just sit there and think. I'll play with Zaza and just let my thoughts go. Or I'll sit there with a pen and paper and just think and write. And I think it's underrated to just sit with a pen and paper and think. And that sounds so simple. But to empty your thoughts on the page, and as Julia Child said, do the morning pages every morning, which is like a brain dump of three pages. Sometimes that can feel overwhelming. So just one page of just thinking and writing. To get everything on paper is extremely helpful, in my opinion. So schedule some thinking time in your calendar, five to 10 minutes. It's not a big deal. I agree. I think that if you don't set time aside to sit,
Starting point is 00:49:26 to think and reflect, it's really difficult to keep up with the pace of the day. Speaking of that, I would say one of the biggest things that I've learned and why Lauren and I don't even own cable, we don't even have cable in this house. It's all on Apple TV and we buy the shows that we want to watch. And the reason we stopped is I want people to stop watching the news. I want them to stop reading the news. I want them to stop consuming the news. If, and I'm saying if, because I'm not saying don't pay attention to what's going on in the world. If you are someone that is constantly sucked into the narrative, constantly stressed out by what you see, constantly triggered by what's going on, understand that these news platforms are not only news, but they're a form of entertainment. And sometimes
Starting point is 00:50:05 they're in, and they're also a business. And I know that, you know, there's a lot of people that have written into the show that work for news organizations. They get mad at me for saying this, and it's not a knock on independent journalists. There's a lot of great journalists, but the news can be triggering and it causes a lot of anxiety. And a lot of people feel like they have to jump in and do something immediately. I've noticed that if you just stop watching the news cycle for five days, five to seven days, you will feel better. I will feel better. All of us feel better. And so once in a while, turn off the news, go read a hard book, go work out, go work on your career, go write something, go be grateful, go do something else
Starting point is 00:50:39 besides just consuming all of this chaotic and sometimes toxic stuff that's out in the news. And that's a big tip that I think more people should listen to about how to feel better and less stress and less things. I mean, look what's happened with the news cycle with everything that's gone on this year. And there's a lot of things that we've obviously needed to be aware of and known about. You can do that by reading, but just constantly sitting there. Have you ever been to someone's house and they just have the news on all day long? The most stressed people ever. Your dad. Yeah, he's one of them. Your dad.
Starting point is 00:51:07 Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys. You guys are stressed the fuck out, you know, because the news cycles on. And it's, you just take it easy. Take a step back and go do something productive. Go out, take a walk, go get an exercise. It's not to say all media is bad. It's just to say if you're a stressed person and the news is playing in the background over and over with negativity, and I'm not saying it's all negative, but a big part of it is, then maybe try turning
Starting point is 00:51:30 it off and putting on some bossa nova. Yeah. I have some business partners that, you know, like I come in like bright eyed and bushy tailed and they're like, have you been watching the news? And I'm like, no, like, but you seem like you're pretty fucking stressed. Like, you know, like they're, they're all whacked out because they've been watching the news and they're freaked out. And like, I get it. Like they may know more about what's going on in the world than I do at that moment, but I feel a hell of a lot better. And that's, that's really all the
Starting point is 00:51:53 correlation I'm looking for, especially because I know that I'm probably not going to change the world in the six to 12 hours of the news cycle for that day. You know, there's other things I can do it. So take a break, guys, take a step back once in a while, turn it off, get off Twitter, get off, you know, get off the news outlets and just like see what happens. And you can always go back to it. It's not going anywhere. By the way, that also has to do with like Daily Mail. I noticed that I would read Daily Mail when I was eating lunch and it started to get a little bit negative. So I checked myself. I think you constantly have to be monitoring yourself and monitoring the content that you consume, because if you're not doing that, no one else is going to do it for you. And again, it's one minute a day,
Starting point is 00:52:30 then it's two minutes a day, then it's three minutes a day. And all of a sudden you're inundated with all this negativity. So the podcast you listen to, the Instagram stories, the Instagram accounts that you consume are making up a big part of your brain. So make sure it's positive. And if you don't want to follow someone on Instagram or Instagram stories that you already follow, just mute them. Simple. The next tip I have is one that I learned from my baby. And it's something that I didn't even know that I needed until I got pregnant. And that- I thought you were going to say me and I was kind of grossed out by the way you said baby, but then it was, now I realized it was the baby. I was like, don't call me. You know, like when people go like oh baby i don't like that but but it turned out
Starting point is 00:53:07 it's about our actual child okay i was like well that's weird zaza yeah all right okay i get it whoa you just puffed up well i was like what is that i'm like what i wasn't talking about you why you looked at me my baby okay sorry okay i learned out it from my baby, Saza. And it's something that I didn't know I needed until I got pregnant and that's nature. I have had this revelation recently that I want to be in nature more. I live in LA and we used to live in San Diego and San Diego has way more nature than LA.
Starting point is 00:53:40 And I need and crave trees and fresh air and mountains and flowers and herbs. And I just think that as I continue to grow in life, one of my non-negotiables is being somewhere that has way more nature than we are right now. So I've been feeling like I need to go and seek out nature more. And I notice every single time I do that,
Starting point is 00:54:04 I feel 100% better. And that includes grounding. time I do that, I feel 100% better. And that includes grounding. And I talk about this a lot on the blog. It's where you put your feet and your hands to the earth and the ions from the earth actually make you feel better. And if you don't believe me, Michael Bostic was hungover one day and I took him to Del Mar Beach
Starting point is 00:54:21 and put his goddamn feet in the sand. And what did you say to me? Was I still hungover? You said that you were not hungover anymore. You did say that. The beach healed me, Lauren. I'm kidding. It did.
Starting point is 00:54:34 It helped. The beach did heal you. I think I also had aspirin, but it helped. Whatever. It's good. Yeah, it's fine. All right.
Starting point is 00:54:40 We're almost done here. But I would say like if you've, you know, as you've stopped consuming all these things and as you have more time, I would say the biggest thing to help with anxiety and stress is to get to work. You know, human beings are meant to work, whether that's working out, whether it's working on a business, whether it's working on a project, whether that's working on a creative outlet, painting, whatever, work. Human beings are meant to work. That's what we're put on this planet for, to work, work, work. Some people
Starting point is 00:55:03 get it twisted and they think they're supposed to work and then one day retire for the rest of their life and do nothing. I've never understood the concept of being productive your whole life so that one day you could be unproductive. I don't get it. Never will. Never understand. I understand people want to travel and take time off and not work for somebody, but you should always have something to work on to keep your mind occupied, whether that's a hobby or a business or your writing, whatever. Work, constantly work.'s a hobby or a business or you're writing, whatever, work, constantly work. And when you find yourself working and you're actually being productive, you find yourself in a space where you don't have a lot of time to be stressed and worrying
Starting point is 00:55:34 because you're actually doing. So go and do and do and do. Start today. Go work on something. If you just start working one foot in front of the other, you'll find that your stress levels and your anxiety start to go down immensely. So that's a peak in Michael, in my mind. And that's a big peak into our mind during quarantine and during everything that's going on, just how to manage stress and anxiety. Everyone goes through it. It is something that you have to be preventative about to get ahead of.
Starting point is 00:56:01 I hope that these tips helped. Let us know which part of this episode you're interested in us exploring more. So maybe it's the shrooms, the hormones, the grounding, whatever it is, let us know on my latest Instagram at the skinny confidential. And as always, some of the team members will drop into a few of your inboxes and send you guys the new cheeky pink stickers. Make sure you guys have rated and reviewed the podcast on iTunes. We're doing some huge giveaways in the next month. And to be entered, you have to rate and review the podcast takes five seconds on iTunes.
Starting point is 00:56:36 As always, thank you guys so much for listening and we'll see you on Friday.

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