The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - How To Reduce Stress, Regulate Your Nervous System, Break Your Phone Addiction, & Find Inner Peace Ft. Jesse Israel

Episode Date: May 28, 2026

#975: Join us as we sit down with Jesse Israel — renowned keynote speaker, entrepreneur, and founder of The Big Quiet, known for leading some of the largest mass meditations in the world. In this episode, Jesse opens up about how living in chaos led him to seek stillness and transform his relationship with stress, anxiety, and overwhelm. He shares powerful tools for protecting your energy in a hyper-connected world, practical ways to regulate your nervous system, and the importance of solitude, silence, and emotional awareness. Jesse also dives into phone addiction, creating boundaries with technology, reducing mental noise, and how small daily practices can radically improve your clarity, presence, and overall well-being.   To Watch the Show click HERE   For Detailed Show Notes visit TheBossticks.com   To connect with Jesse Israel click HERE   To connect with Lauryn Bosstick click HERE   To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE   Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE   Head to our ShopMy page HERE and LTK page HERE to find all of the products mentioned in each episode.   Get your burning questions featured on the show! Leave the Him & Her Show a voicemail at [phone].   To learn more about Jesse Israel visit https://www.jesseisrael.com.    This episode is sponsored by PVOLVE x LB Head to http://pvolve.com/skinny and use code SKINNY for 15% off sitewide, or on class packs at a Pvolve studio near you.   This episode is sponsored by Kettle & Fire Go to http://kettleandfire.com/SKINNY and use code SKINNY to get 25% off.   This episode is sponsored by Just Thrive Get your health in check and save 20% on your first order at https://justthrivehealth.com/SKINNY with code SKINNY.   This episode is sponsored by Paleovalley  Head to http://paleovalley.com/skinny for 20% off your first purchase.   This episode is sponsored by Veracity For up to 65% off your order, head to http://VeracityHealth.co and use code SKINNY.   This episode is sponsored by Jolie Try Jolie risk-free for 60 days by going to http://jolieskinco.com/SKINNY.   This episode is sponsored by Starbucks Learn more about Starbucks industry-leading benefits at http://Starbucks.com/partners.   This episode is sponsored by Truvia If you're looking for a better way to enjoy sweetness with zero calories per serving, you really need to try the new Truvia® Allulose Plus Stevia Sweetener & Monk Fruit Sweetener—available online and nationwide at Kroger, Target and your favorite local grocery retailer. Produced by Dear Media

Welcome to the Bostics, starring Lauren Bostic and Michael Bostick. Together, they are the Bostics. How to heal your nervous system, break phone addiction, and find inner peace. This episode is like teaching you all the things that you need to do to regulate your nervous system. I was very inspired, okay? Jesse Israel, he is a renowned keynote speaker, entrepreneur, and founder of the big quiet. He's known, I'm sure you guys have seen him on social media. He leads some of the largest mass meditations in the world. He actually also leads meditations for sold out arenas

with Oprah Winfrey. So no big deal. He knows his stuff, okay? I have said that the nervous system is going to be all the rage for 2006. And here we are. People are ready to get their nervous system regulated. So if you're someone who runs hot, anxious, depressed, tired, whatever, this episode is for you. Jesse, welcome to the show. Jesse, how do people find peace and silence the noise in 2006? There's a lot of noise. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of different ways to explore it. You know, when it comes to quieting noise today, there's a handful of kind of like key buckets that I like to speak about and teach. And it's everything from like what you'd expect around making space, stillness practices, the importance of solitude, how to change our relationships to our phones. We can dive in all that

stuff. But it's also like deepening in community. You know, it's having a sense of belonging, it's human connection. That's the best way to quiet the noise in the head, right, is to be with other people, to be of service. One of the best ways to cut through the noise that comes at us today is to us have real meaning attached to what we do and why we do it. How do people manage their phone? This is a great subject right now. Yeah, it's so real. It's actually one of the things that I see people are most excited about being permission

to change the way they do things because we're not really taught how to use our devices. Especially, like for our generation, we grew up with these things being handed to us and it was like, figure it out. So we have, we've never really learned healthy habits and boundaries for our devices. So our phones are so smart and the apps are so. so good at keeping us hooked right now that I really recommend that we pay for technology that helps. I love this app called Opel. Have you guys heard of it? Opal. Yeah, it's amazing. I'm actually not affiliated with them, but I'm a huge advocate. Essentially, what it does is it lets you set up office hours for any apps, but I use it especially for Instagram. Like that Instagram is the one that gets me

most hooked that I'll check when I'm like at a red light in my car really quick, you know, like that quick hit. And it's also the one that affects my mood most. So with Opal, I've set up office hours on it so I can only check Instagram from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. So if I'm trying to get in there any other time of the day, it blocks me out. And if I really need to get in there for something, you watch a 60 second countdown. And you have to just, you can't like change out of the apps. You have to just sit there and watch. So you can get in if you need to, but if we needed to accept, like if the team put up a video for this show and we need to accept a collab. You could do it with the only way is to sit there and go through this. So you can get the work

that you need to get done. But then you get out. Exactly. It breaks them. And it only gives you like five to ten minutes when you're in there. So it breaks the muscle memory of constantly checking. That's interesting. So then what it does is it takes away like that quick dopamine hit because nobody wants to sit there and wait. But if you have an intention around while you have to get in there, it basically says it creates an avenue for you to do that. It makes it more intentional for you to be in there. Yeah. I'm going to get that. That's really great. wake up in the morning and check your phone. 30 minutes minimum every day.

Once I wake up, before I check the phone. Game changer. And it's actually so important. 30 minutes meditation? No, no. I do meditation, but it doesn't have to be. It can be anything for those 30 minutes. But what we know and the science shows,

the first 30 to 60 minutes of the day upon waking, our brains are in this. It's a neurobiologically sensitive state. So what this means is whatever we expose our brains to in those first 30 to 60 minutes of the day significantly impacts our stress response, our ability to focus, our mood for the whole day. So if the first thing that we do in that neurobiologically sensitive window is check the phone, email updates, headlines, social media, all the shit, the first thing that we're doing is getting that influx of information. It's scattering the nervous

system. It's shifting our focus around. And when we start our day on that foot, it really impacts everything we do for the rest of the day. So if we can get that 30-minute window to just be like pretending that you're asleep with the kids, eating breakfast and like actually paying attention to what you're eating, you know, being present with your family, getting sun, whatever it might be, going for a walk, just chilling, it significantly impacts the rest of what we do. When you stop checking your phone in the morning and then you go back to maybe checking it when you're on vacation, it's jarring. Because it's like you've trained yourself not to check it. I notice I've been really thoughtful about the morning especially.

Like, I don't want to be on my phone. In fact, I find it like almost like disgusting. I don't want to be on it. So you do this. You practice this. I don't, I try not to touch my phone until 10. Now, when I go on vacation, sometimes you'll pick it up in the morning. Yeah.

It is a significant difference. You notice it. Well, right now we're living out of the hotel with the kids and we're here and we're working. And so like the pace is a little different than when we're at home when you have a routine. And so, yeah, like, lately, because I had this problem for a long time, time and I've been beat up on the show for it. I would check it. And now I've been putting it in my office. And I literally like we're in our house. Like you can't get to my office without going upstairs. And so I like the phone is all over there. And I go downstairs in the morning. So I'm like,

okay. So it's, it's kind of like do a hike before I can get to it. But now to Lauren's point, we're in this hotel and we're working. And it's like right there because it's charging in a different place. And I caught myself today. And I'm like, oh my God, you're, you know, you're right on your back foot. Yeah. Yeah. When you break out of those habits, it makes it more challenging. I also, this is like a random tangent, but I also have been reading a lot of studies about even plugging your phone in next to your head that there's, it's so bad for you. Like the phone should be apparently in another room on airplane mode, no Wi-Fi away when you're sleeping. Ideally, no Wi-Fi, no Bluetooth. Yeah. And at least in the bathroom or away from the bed. And, you know, it's not just great for stress. Like when the phone is not in the bedroom, it makes the bedroom a place for bedroom things. Yes. It's more sexy. Yeah, for resting, for intimacy, it's really important. If someone wants to start a meditation practice tomorrow and they don't want to feel overwhelmed, where would you tell them to start?

I always suggest that people actually learn meditation and not just like close their eyes and try to not think. It's incredibly discouraging if you do it without guidance. So if you can't access a teacher, there are a bunch of apps that you can start with that will, you know, kick you off with just five minutes of practice. Just five minutes is proven to significant. significantly help our mental health and our performance. We invested in an app called The Way. We've ever heard of it, the meditation app.

You should check it out. It's basically, it's guided meditation from a teacher. And they have different ways you can use it. Tim Ferriss has been really vocal about it lately. But for me, it's helped a lot because I used to try to just like white knuckle it. Yeah. And it was super frustrating. I think some people, yeah, like you just naturally are able to jump into it.

But for me, it was a harder thing to just. So with that, it teaches you how to get into it. That's an ideal way to kick off. The way sounds great. I also love recommending one called NuCom, N-U-C-A-L-M. And what's great about it is there isn't any guidance. You actually just put on headphones. Ideally, wear an eye mask.

You can lay down. You can set up where you lay down. And it uses vibro acoustics and frequency. So just by listening, it shifts your body and mind into a theta state. It's like a deep, restful healing state. So it's great for like ADHD minds, people whose brains are extra racy. And it really works. That sounds like the shift wave, the chair. Oh, the chair. Yeah. Yeah. Except there, yeah, there isn't a physical component to it. But yeah,

I haven't tried the shift wave. I heard it's great. You like it? Do you have one? You would love it. Yeah. You would love it. Shiftwave needs to send you a chair immediately. It is, there's a plug. Amazing. It truly shifts the state of your body. So sure you're in a meditation. What I do is I turn down their meditation. I put on the meditation I want on my phone. And then I turn up the vibrating aspect of it and it truly takes your body into it like a totally different state. It's wild. It's amazing. It's amazing. She doesn't let me use it yet. I don't know what's going I have gatekeeping. By the way, my kids use it. My kids are drawn to it. They'll come sit on it. Because it feels so much feel so good. It feels so good. It's supposed to help with your HRV,

right? I don't know. That's not my. Oh, that makes sense. I just know when I sit down from when I get up, it's like a totally different vibe. Completely. Shift wave, we love you. Send Jesse a chair. Let's go back with you a little bit. How did you get interested in this space to begin with? Were you always into meditation?

No. So I started a record label when I was a sophomore. I was at NYU. My roommate and I learned about a band called MGMT. You know those guys? They were making music for fun at Wesleyan College. They were a year above us. I was 20, MGMT there, 21.

And they made this song. kids for a class assignment. I love that song. Great song. Yeah. The class assignment was to was to make a pop song. And these guys weren't in a serious band. They actually weren't even planning to be a band. They just made this song for fun. And it was such a hit on campus. They'd played at like frat parties five, six, seven, eight times in a row and people would go nuts, this little teeny college. So we had heard about these guys in the song. And we formed a little dorm room record label to release kids and to get them in the studio. We snuck him into a studio that our friend was interning at in Midtown Manhattan.

We made the Time to Pretend EP, The Song, Time to Pretends on there, kids is on there. They recorded Electric Feel. Oh, I love Electric Feel. And a lot of these songs... This is exactly like the whole album I listened to when I was 21. Yeah, right? Yeah. It was such an era.

Oh, the zeit guy. It was such a moment in time. But they recorded these songs. A lot of them just on the spot. It was like, they were just channeling shit was just coming through. It was pretty cool to witness. But anyways, we didn't know what the hell we were doing. And it took us about three years before we kind of figured out how to help them pop.

And we supported them in an upstream deal to Columbia. They had a big major label. And they just exploded. And all of a sudden, I had just graduated from NYU. I was like 22, 23. I'd been running a full-time business. I was a student, putting a lot of energy being a student. And our label was taking off.

And we were going to a lot of festivals. and going parties and a lot of big intense events. And it was really fun, but I'm a sensitive guy. It was too much for my system. And I didn't really understand what was happening. I later learned I was having panic attacks, and I was having pretty debilitating anxiety. So I needed a tool to help me navigate the literal noise

that was coming at me in the music industry, plus all the pressure and demand I felt was placed on me as a founder. I know you guys understand this. So my dad introduced me to meditation. He thought it would be something that would help me, really with quieting the internal pain and kind of challenges I was experiencing. And it was so helpful, and it became this really meaningful part of my life.

So when I'd be at music festivals, I'd be backstage, and I would invite other music managers, executive, sometimes musicians before they'd go on headline major festival, it'd come and we'd have a little moment of quiet together. So we'd be off to the side in quiet at a place, like Coachella when there's 10 stages blasting music and like 200,000 people on shrooms like going nuts. And there was something really powerful about creating quiet in the face of all this noise. And I started to get these little downloads. It was like, I would get these visions. It was like

the whole festival being quiet. And what would that feel like? Where do you think the panic attacks came from? I think that the panic attacks came from a handful of things. I mean, one, I think some of of it is genetic. Like there's, there's, there's a, there's a, there's a, a threat of anxiety in my family. Um, I think a, um, part of it was also, I mean, I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was in high school. People have like varying opinions on that diagnosis, but I do think that my brain works differently in that like, I have a lot of energy and it will go towards different things. And it's easy for my brain to get overwhelmed. And I think that that, that, that intensity in the system can lead to things like panic attacks and, yeah, just more intense emotion. And I think

it was the overwhelm that I was experiencing. There's a lot of comparison. I also think that when you're around, all those fake lights, and it's nighttime, and you're in Coachella, and there's all these different strobes and colors and fake lights. And then there's all these different sounds that have different frequencies, as you know, and different vibrations. And then you're experiencing all these people's different energies. Right. And some, maybe you don't want in. And then you have people who are on a different frequency on drugs and some on hardcore

drugs like meth or Coke or whatever. That probably made it even worse. It was like all these like fake like almost like Disneyland. Yeah. But on crack. You know what I mean? It's like there's all these. When you're going through all this.

People like Coachella are hitting meth. I'm just saying like it. If you're already feeling bad and then you go to this artificial light and all this music and all this energy and all these people and all these drugs, it's going to make it worse. No, well, I mean, I think like in the entertainment industry, there's a lot of things that come at you fast, right? And there's a lot of, I think there's a lot of experiences that are not like so natural. I don't know how to explain it other than like your, there's a lot of performance involved. There's a lot of energy involved.

There's a lot of pressure on that performance and that energy. There's a lot of, there's a lot of attention, sometimes warranted, sometimes unwarranted. And I think if you're not somebody who's mature enough to like to handle a lot of that, it could become extremely overwhelming. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's a great point,

especially because I was so young going into the industry. Yeah. And a lot of it too was I'm modeled what I thought success looked like based on older peers in the music industry. And a lot of that wasn't, I think, the healthiest way to live or to build a business. So a lot of it for me was comparison, chasing,

and doing that based off of something that ultimately wasn't really who I am, who I was. But I had to learn that the wrong way. And at what point did you guys start to see success when you're in school? Because when I look back on my college days, you know, we were kind of just, me and my friends floundering around.

we're part in, but we didn't have, like, it was just a normal college experience, right? Like, we didn't have any kind of success or financial success until years later and after. I can only imagine if somebody gave me those kind of resources at that time, things would have got off the rail real quick. So how were you able to manage that at that age? At that age, it actually, it wasn't super lucrative at that point. It was more so there was a lot of attention and a lot of hype. So it was more like access to great events and, you know, hanging out with really interesting people. It's almost more dangerous.

Yeah, I can be. But again, it was all of these things, and I'm grateful for it, that pushed me into finding these practices that were ultimately really healing and helpful for me and would go to lead to me leaving the music industry and starting the big quiet. Because I found myself in this position where more and more people wanted to join these group meditations. I went from doing them backstage to my buddy's office space in downtown Manhattan to eventually getting invited to lead them on main stages at major music festival.

And then before I knew it, I had this new business. And through the big quiet, we were gathering thousands of people to get quiet together. So it was all meant to be. And I needed to have those challenging experiences to find this thing that led to this new project and allowed me to ultimately bring meditation to millions of people. Quick break to deliver a message from our friends at Starbucks. Full and part-time Starbucks baristas get up to 18 weeks of paid parental leave. So as their family grows, they never miss a moment, even if they miss out on sleep.

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You feel energized. I tried it. And I just felt really focused all day. You like don't even need that midday latte. It's really cool. So before metabolism ignites sells out again, make the switch to GLP-1's the natural way. Head to VeracityHealth.com and use code skinny for up to 65% off your order. Once again, that's V-E-R-A-C-I-T-Y health.co for up to 65% off. And make sure you use our promo code skinny so they know we sent you. Why do you think so many people don't want to get quiet? Why do you think that it feels so overwhelming? I think for a lot of people, getting quiet and just sitting with ourselves means stuff coming up that can feel really scary and uncomfortable. I think for a lot of people, we believe that feeling uncomfortable emotions is wrong or bad. So we'll do whatever we can to

constantly distract and keep ourselves from feeling discomfort. And what I've learned in my, in the more recent years of my life is that when we can allow ourselves to feel and be with whatever's going on down there, especially the stuff that's uncomfortable, if we can be with it, feel it, let it come up, let it come out. On the other side of it, we're in our power. We feel clear. We're more aligned with purpose. We're able to, you know, really bring our true selves to what we're here to do. So we have to feel this stuff, but I think a lot of us don't want to. And for a lot of people, there's really uncomfortable shit that comes up when we're quiet. So we distract. I think you almost, like for me, I would rather be quiet for an hour than talk to a

therapist. I think more can come up like you just said in a more powerful way without having someone facilitated. I agree with that. I'm a really, really big proponent of extended periods. of no interaction with devices or other people. I know it's extra hard for you guys with the three kids and the two dogs, but I've sent hundreds of people on these trips where you go away for a weekend, you rent an Airbnb, you go by yourself, you keep your phone off for the whole time, no laptop, all you have with you is your food that you're gonna cook,

a book, a journal, and that's it for anywhere from two days to like a week. Sounds amazing. No, it's actually, I believe, one of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves in the world today. You could maybe get one of those, like, for people with kids, I was thinking about, because I think that would be really interesting for either of us to try, even for a weekend, or even for a day, to be honest. And you could get one of those, like, kind of burner phones that, you know, in a real emergency,

if you needed to do that. But then you don't have the screen or the phone or the ability for social. Just like if people with kids want to try something like that. That's what I do. I have a flip phone. And only my mom has the number. Or when I was in my relationship previously, my ex-exam. I might have the number. But besides that, that's it. So you have the way to get the emergency

contact if necessary. But, and I've, and I have supported a lot of, of people in relationships, people with kids going on a trip like this. Obviously, involves a lot of coordination. But they come back changed. And what are the, what, and how so? What are the things, the common things you see? When we make space to be with ourselves without any distractions for a minimum of 48 hours, what I see consistently is this. The first 24 hours are really tough. It's like a junkie without our substance, right? We're like, we want to check the phone. We want to know what's going on, like all the things.

It comes up and it's really uncomfortable. And then when that passes, what I often see is things that we have pushed down and we haven't looked at will surface, like something from an old relationship or an argument that happened in business with, you know, an ex-business partner, you know, things that maybe we haven't even touched on a couple years, the stuff starts to come up to the surface and it can be really uncomfortable. And what I always encourage people to do is just be with it. Don't try to fix it. Just let it emerge. And it passes. Whatever the uncomfortable emotion or sensation is, it passes. And I always see this on the other side is this deep creativity and access to self-love.

It's really interesting. So the best ideas I see will hit people in those moments. Once the junkie period has passed, the tough emotions have passed, all of a sudden it's like they're channeling. Something's moving through them from a creative. standpoint. And then most people, when they get back from a trip like this, they love themselves again. They're able to come back to this place of appreciation for themselves. And I'd say inner wholeness. Like we are so reliant on external stuff to make us feel good and whole in the world. And it's such a trap. Because when those external things, if they're relationships, if they're business, if there are our kids, our families, or romantic partners, if something changes with those

things, it impacts how we feel about ourselves, our mood shift, our happiness transforms. But if we're able to find that within ourselves, if we can feel whole just for the person that we are and for the relationship that we have with the greater power, you become really unstoppable. And I think that these trips without distraction really bring us back to that place. I want to do that, but I want to live by candlelight. Even better. I don't want the electricity because we did this experiment with Ryan from test my home where he turned off all of our electricity in the house and your nervous system immediately relaxes. Yeah. It's so weird when like the electric everything just goes down. No Wi-Fi. Yeah. I want to be by like candlelight. That's that's the ultimate way to do that.

But then I feel like would I get scared by myself? I've had I've had I've had some I've had some I've had some wilder I was on do we have time for a short of course story. Yeah. It's where you're here. The first time I did a solo trip like this, I decided that I would go big for it. I did, I did eight days. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. There's nothing, just journal, flip-bone. Eight days. Yeah, all my food. There's no, there's no, there's no, like, TV or Netflix. No, no, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't sneak it in. I'm not. There's no porn, Taylor, there's no porn, hub. No digital devices. No digital devices, no connection to Wi-Fi. You get a couple books. You get your journal, you bring your food. And a lot of what you're doing is going on walks throughout the day,

resting, taking baths. Like, you just let your body downshift. It was really hard for me. I did this when I was, I did this when I was 30. I'm 41 now. And I just started the big quiet. I didn't really know what I was doing or where it was going. But I went into this, into this week. I rented a cabin in Julian, California, a couple hours away from here in L.A. Pretty up there. Yeah. I went into that trip, so burnt out and so fresh. ride. I could like barely handle, you know, a phone call. So I go into this trip and it's tough at first. And then I'm like in bliss for the second half of the trip. Maybe he's incredible. And there's the last night of the trip. And I was, I was feeling so great. I'm making my final meal. I remember

I was cooking rice. And I turn off the water. And because it's so quiet, I mean, I'm experiencing essentially, you know, eight days of only nature sound. And I rented this cabin where, you know, where you couldn't see anybody nearby. There were other cabins, but they were pretty far away. But anyways, I'm making my rice. I turn off the water. And in this moment of complete silence, I hear this sound. It's like,

Help me. I'm like, what? It sounds like a ghost. And I freeze. I'm terrified. I haven't seen a person eight days. And I listen in and it gets stronger. it's the sound of what sounds like an old woman going, help me.

Oh, can't you get a minute alone? I would be like, this is so curb your enthusiasm. You go to the fucking middle of the woods. Yeah, and then the old ghost visits you. A bear was eating an old woman in the woods. I put my head up against the glass window in the kitchen and I look outside. It's very dark outside. You can't really see anything.

And in the little like, there's like a little like breakfast, out in the garden, a couple like, you know, gardeny breakfast table chairs. And I see the outline of, of an old woman in a nighty kind of hunched over. Was it a real woman? Or you're just, or you're hallucinating? I don't know if I'm hallucinating or if this is a real thing that I'm witnessing. And I'm pretty terrified. And I call the owner of the cabin on a landline because there's no service there. I don't even know where my cell phone is. and the owner of the cabin says, we think that this might be Jane.

She's a neighbor in one of the faraway cabins and sometimes she gets out and gets confused. And he said, call for her. So I go, Jane. She goes, yes, help me. So he says, it's safe. You can let her in.

And I'm like, bro. Are you sure? He's like, she's okay. So I opened the door. I let her in. I'm terrified. I'm like shaking. She comes into my cabin.

and there's big dogs with her. And I sit her down. She's injured. I think she had fallen. Her elbow was a little bloody. They told me to call the local police department to help her out. So I'm trying to make sense of all this. I've called the police.

In about five minutes, the entire town's fire department, ambulance, police. There's probably like 30 of these individuals are here in the cabin with me. The dog that was with her, I guess, was like a dangerous animal. They make me keep it in my bedroom. They all leave. They take her, but they can't take the dog because they need animal control. So I wound up having the last night of my trip with this kind of rabid dog in the bedroom. I sleep on the couch.

But the moral of the story is I went in that trip. I couldn't show up on a phone call. I was so fried. By the end of the trip, I was unfazed by this experience. It was like I had 30 people in the cabin with me. It was a really chaotic scene. I was just like, let's go. And when I came back from that trip, my business has exploded.

I was just like so ready to go. And I really point to that trip, including that unique moment, as really necessary to give me the fuel to then ultimately build the big quiet. It's funny on that trip, I was reading the biography of Oprah. And I had this feeling that I was going to work with her. I also was getting these visions of guiding meditations and arenas, all things that would go on to happen years later that came to me in that space. Do you think it's just because you're able to finally think clearly and create a vision for yourself in that much? moment or because you're able to block out all the noise and just really like contemplate what you really want out of life? Partly that. But I think that there's another piece to creativity that is beyond

us. And it channels through us. I really believe that. And I really felt that with a lot of what we built with the Big Quiet. It was like something was moving through me that wasn't necessarily my idea or my creation, but came through me and I was like the vessel to bring it into the world. And I think a lot of our best ideas move through us through some type of a greater power. I have this other theory with this though too. I think we are all at capacity. I think we are our thermometer is about to burst all of us. I think we are inundated with content. If we have kids, the kids want to watch the TV. It's, it's on and on and on. There's so many things to do. You never stop. It's a hamster wheel. You should be posting 24-7, et cetera, et cetera. So we're all at capacity, which gives us no space to be creative.

We've also just lost the ability to sit and be bored. But then when you go away and you take all those things away, you're able to have more capacity and how do I know this? Because you tell me by the end of the trip, you're dealing with 30 people in your house. If you told me right now that I have to go back to that hotel and there was 30 people in there with a dog in the other room, I would be like, I don't have the capacity.

I don't have the capacity right now with everything that's going on in my life. Some old woman shows up at a pictory table in the middle of the night in Texas, I might blow her away. It's just like, you don't have any almost patient for any outside inconvenience because you don't have room for it. You don't have room for it. And so I think when you create the space like that, it makes things that maybe would normally be stressful, not so stressful.

So to me, what I want to know is after that woman experience when you went back into reality, did you feel things that would have bothered you before little tiny things? Was it less? Way less. Yeah. It was that week, and this is true with the weekend version of this too, It doesn't have to be eight days.

This can also be the case when you do a weekend version of this. It's almost like industrial strength meditation for an extended period of time. Yeah. You know, I came back from that week so resilient, not only creative, but just so resilient with whatever came my way. So then the question for me became, well, how do I, I can't go do eight days all the time by my, actually, I don't think I've even done that since then. So it's like, how do you find the micro ways to bring that into, you know, into our lives?

And a 24-hour version of no phone, not being away from other people, but just 24, it's like Tech Sabbath, Friday night sundown, so Saturday night sundown, no phone. I'm going to try that. It's incredibly potent. And you can do that with your kids. You can do that with your family. You do their friends. So there are other ways to work it in and still get the benefit and the impact of it.

We just got to be, we got to get ahead of it. We've got to plan it. And we have to be willing to create those boundaries. If it's Opal or if it's taking 24 hours, if it's putting your phone in the office instead of the bedroom, all these little things, they build up and they help. Because last thing I'll say about this, Cal Newport is a great author and academic.

He has this theory about solitude deprivation. It's this idea that we are deprived of being ourselves. He wrote deep work, right? He wrote deep work. And it makes sense. It's like we, as a species, we evolved with extended periods of being by ourselves to process emotion, to access ideas to develop.

And we don't have it. And if we're by ourselves for a second today, we're actually not because we're on our phones. So we really miss out on what becomes available to us, like you guys have said. I also think there's this really famous celebrity that has this son, and I was talking to them, and they were saying that their son is so depressed.

And they said their son just sits in the room and wakes up and looks at his phone, and he's just on his phone all day long. And obviously anyone, who does that is going to be depressed. And we're living in an age where the teenagers and the 20 to 30 year olds are on their phone all the time from the second they get up to when they go to bed. I actually think like, you know, the generation below our generation gets a lot of flak. But I think if you, like, when we all got these kind of devices, we had largely gone through

elementary school, middle school, high school, college. Like I didn't get an Apple, like, phone until I graduated. So I had like the flips. I like the Blackberry. You know what I mean? So you got to have all of those adolescent experiences that entire time. Many of these young kids now could give in a phone, sometimes at the age of like eight or nine, but a lot of them, like, as they get into middle school and high school, so they've never had the ability to kind of just like sit quiet, be bored, be alone, not be connected, not be stimulated.

And then they, like, where I feel bad for them and their parents, because like, well, the parents weren't taught either is, like, that's the only reality they know. when you start talking about a world where like you don't have these things, like for that generation, that's like flipping their whole world upside down. Like we remember a time when there was landlines and when you didn't have this connection and when you didn't have the,

like, you know what I mean? And so like you can you can look back like, oh, at that time, I didn't feel this anxious or I didn't have this anxiety or I wasn't the stress. I really didn't care what other people online were doing because I didn't know. For them, that's all they know. Do you think there's going to be rehab for the phone? I think there already is.

Do you think it's going to be more and more popular? I think it will become, I think we'll see two things. One thing we're already seen right now is generational pushback. So Google search results for terms like flip phone are up 15,000 percent right now. That's what I'm doing for my kids when it's time for a phone. We're getting a flip phone. You can call me, we don't need an Apple watch sitting EMF on the rest. And we used to have to print out the MapQuest directions.

Yeah, right. We're doing flip phone. In the car. No, Kia. Yeah, a snake. Play snake. Oprah Winfrey. How do you get introduced to Oprah Winfrey?

And then what is that like working with someone who is so loved and so powerful and so extraordinary? So with the Big Quiet, which became my focal point for the 10 years after I ran my record label, we went on the road and we were bringing these mass meditation events to really interesting places throughout the country and eventually the world. and we would tour just like we would tour bands, but we would tour these mass meditations. And it was cool for me because I went from being behind the stage, supporting talent, performing at places like Coachella, to actually being on the stage,

guiding meditation, speaking, talking about the things we're talking about here. And my team and I were touring in Chicago. We actually did a big quiet event at the Museum of Natural History there, and Oprah's team came to the event. And they had been producing Oprah's next arena tour, which was going to be happening in a few months. And they thought that the big quiet experience would be something that would be interesting

for her programming and for the audience. And Oprah is a big meditator. She's also a really big proponent of quiet and a lot of stuff that we've talked about. So they suggested that I come on tour. Initially, it was just the first tour stop that I was going to be on. And they gave me a 30-minute slot. It was really fun. I did like a little mini TED talk.

I guided a meditation for about 15,000 people, which was unreal because at that point in the big quiet, we were doing like five, six, seven thousand people, but 15,000 people enclosed in a space. If one person coughs, everybody hears it. If one person or if one box up in the corner of the arena decides that they want to party and just talk, everybody would hear it. Oh, I'd fuck up your whole event. I got this, I got this cough that's for a little persistent. There's a fake cough.

It'd be so annoying. Thank God that he hasn't gone to your event. Wait, did anyone talk and fuck it up? So I was a little nervous for that first one, especially on one of the biggest stages in the world with Oprah. And you, like, you could hear a pin drop. It was really powerful. Actually, there was quite a bit of emotion in the room. And then for the last 10 minutes of my stage segment, Oprah decided to interview me.

She asked me questions kind of on the spot. And it was a really special moment. She really appreciated the meditation. And I think that I felt like we had a nice connection on stage. And when I said goodbye the next day and they were about to go on this, you know, 10-week journey touring arenas throughout the U.S., the producer called me the next day and was like, Oprah really enjoyed the experience. She liked you. Would you be able to coming for the whole tour? So I was like, I've got to check my schedule.

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I mean, what was really cool about touring was with Oprah was learning from Oprah. and the first thing that comes to mind is seeing the way that she treats her employees and the people that have helped her build what she does today. She's the best at bringing other people up with her. She doesn't have to be, what's it called, be benevolent? Benevolent. But like, yeah, some people say there's benevolent kings, benevolent queens, people that basically give and bring people up without asking for anything in return.

Right? And they just like, they just lend their platform or their resources to help. Rogan does that. He's done it for a lot of comedians. Yeah. There's a lot. I mean, like, I think you do that, learn for a lot of women, or a lot of people, especially like people in the service industry and beauty industry.

I try to do it all the time. It's, I think that it's important. Yeah. No, but she's, I think like Oprah's the blue. I mean, she put a lot of people on the map. So many. Yeah. And what's interesting was I'm specifically referring to the people that aren't in the public spotlight.

Because she's done that for so many people who've built their, you know, their public-facing careers. But Oprah has crazy retention. The people that have worked with her have worked with her for coming up on 40 years. Which... And you know that that's rare, especially when you have like a major public figure like that.

I've got a barnacle behind here that's Taylor O'Connor that's worked with us for 20. Well, that's just because... Barnacle. He knows... The big barnacle. He knows we... He knows we know...

He knows, we know some of the things that he's, so, no, I'm just kidding. I mean, Taylor and I have been together for, what, Taylor, 20 years now? Closely, yeah. The thing that I saw that was really cool was the last night of tour. Actually, this was the final tour stop. There's a rap party. It was in Denver. And I think most people at Oprah's level at a rap party like this, they would come.

They'd show face for a little bit, and then they'd leave. There were 300 people that toured for this event. It was a really big tour. And what Oprah did at this, event was she had the production team build a little stage at the rap party. They like rented a huge restaurant. They had a little stage built. And Oprah took three hours, spent three hours, inviting up the key people of her team one by one onto this stage with her. And each time one of these individuals would come up on stage, she would thank them and she would recognize

them for their greatest gifts. Like she can see people in their zone of genius. She's able to say, you helped us make this tour successful because of this unique gift that you have, that only you have. So people felt recognized and celebrated, but they also felt seen for their superpower. And I saw each person get off that stage just like on fire, so lit up. I saw her do that for three hours straight. And it's genuine, you know? And I'm like, those are the things that have allowed her to keep that team to be able to have the reach and impact that she has. Taylor, you're the best producer.

You're the best barnacle. You're literally so responsive if it's after 2 p.m. PST. You're so good at interrupting our shows for Postmates deliveries. I love it so much. Revealing my phone number on air. Thank you for sharing my home address and where my children sleep to the audience. If you could wave a wand and have everyone do three things for their nervous system, what would those things be? The first one, I'm really passionate about this one, is for people to understand that feeling

uncomfortable emotions is the greatest gateway to their power. It's easier said than done. But if you feel anger, this understanding or this thinking that anger is bad, that there's something wrong with us, that anger is something that we need to push down or hide, it's not accurate. If we can find healthy ways to release anger, healthy ways to grieve, to cry, especially for For men, we can learn how to feel emotions that are trapped inside of us. Emotion is essentially energy that gets trapped in ourselves.

When we feel it, it leaves ourselves. And what we notice is that old patterns, the limiting beliefs, the things that have kept our nervous system stuck and triggered, it starts to shift and leave. It's one of the best tools to resetting the nervous system. Feel feelings when you feel them. I got a whole crying practice I can get into if I need to. Make Michael and Taylor cry. That's pretty easy.

Really? Yeah. Yeah, just be bitching at me and go start crying. That's what you think will make you cry? No, I'm just kidding. No, there's things I, no, I think what you said about men is really important because there's something there's something that I think many men are ingrained with words like it. You feel like you shouldn't like you're like not supposed to do it. Yeah.

Right. And, you know, since I've had children, I've. You cry all the time about the children. Yeah. Well, I think it opened. In like a heart opening way. Yeah, in a heart opening way. Yeah.

I mean, for sure when I was younger, like, and I think this is changing now, but like you just think you're not supposed to do that. You think you're just supposed to push it down deep, you know? Totally. And I think it does a lot. I think it then with men, unfortunately, a lot of times it comes out with aggression, right? And then that creates a ton of problems. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. The wounds that men carry tend to repeat when we don't allow ourselves to access those feelings. You know, I do a lot of coaching and advising for business leaders and, you know, executive, celebrities, stuff like that. a lot of the sort of high-powered male archetype that I tend to work with a lot in business. It always starts with, I'll introduce them to meditation, I'll get him meditating. And there's like six months where it's just meditation, building awareness, starting to

soothe the nervous system. And then we'll reach this point where you can start to get into feeling emotion. And when these guys start to learn how to release anger in a healthy way or cry, it's crazy. When these guys learn, they've been told that crying is a weakness their whole lives. and then they learn how to release that trapped energy and grief or sorrow from whatever they've been holding on to from their past. They come out on the other side, performing at their businesses at a whole other level, showing up for their family and kids at a whole other level,

and being able to enjoy their lives at a whole other level through the gateway of feeling something that they were always told would make them weak. That's so interesting when my little son, he's three, he gets cranial sacral therapy. Great stuff. That's what my ex did. Isn't it amazing?

Yeah. It's like amazing. Great stuff. The best. But he's getting it and when he's done or during sometimes he has this release of emotion and he'll start bawling crying. And what I've noticed is in when it's happening, it can sound like almost like a tantrum. He's getting it all out. And then when he's done, he's like calm.

Yes. It's bizarre. So I can see what you're saying in a different. Well, imagine if you tell you. It's so good for him. I know. I know. Can you explain?

That is so good for him. I don't disagree with that. Well, when you see the credit card every month, you're like, holy fuck, Lauren. Why do you have to spend all this? Can you explain? Craneal sacral's my handbag and shoes. Can you explain? My thing is, and listen, you could just drive down to the office nine minutes away and save, like, literally three times the cost and just do it in the office.

Not with three kids. I'm not doing that. You can do it with three kids. I go to the office. But tell us why cranial sacral is so amazing. Sometimes I look at the credit card, and I start crying. Jesse's the perfect person out. cranial sacral therapy so first of all my ex that I've referenced she's a cranial sacral

therapist so I got a lot of free tune-ups which I now miss that sounds you know they're going to pull that clip Jesse your ex gave you a lot of free tune-ups tell us about those cranial sacral is so great because it's so they call it like the rolls Royce of body work um shout out Melissa Duffy my ex who's a great cranial sacral therapist but um and Maria It is a really meaningful, it's like a really gentle massage that essentially is a way to get in touch with the neural network and this very subtle network of the nervous system that when it's given guidance, when it's given gentle touch, when energy is kind of supported to move through it, the blocks that get stored and held in our nervous system, and a lot of them are emotional. blocks start to be able to flow more fluidly. There's an actual fluid that moves through our brain. It gets blocked up when the nervous system is messed up. So when it starts to move more fluidly, things start to move and flush, like what you see with your son as an emotional release.

But then when it leaves the system, nervous system gets back into its natural healthy flow. So it's about moving that fluid. I am so passionate about what this is done for my family. I started with my baby because I think everyone should look into this when the baby comes out because they have like a birth trauma through coming the through the canal or being pulled out through C-section. That's real. So it's the lightest touch and the baby. It was like we had the calmest, easiest baby and I attribute a lot of that to getting everything aligned after being born. And then from there- Here's the first one we did it with. He was like, and he's our third. So like the first two, we didn't

do that. Right. And so then I was like, oh, why don't you do it on me? And I was like, it's like, whatever. And she did it. And I've been doing it once a week for, nine months and I feel like it's been nine years of therapy, like talk therapy in nine months. And I sent my dad to her. He's obsessed. Both my kids go to her. I also think, as you said, it helps with their detox pathways. So if it's hard to detox for certain kids, it's really great. And then Michael did it. But she said Michael's one of the most difficult people to get through, that it's like a moat with alligators. No, but I think because I let her right in. She touches me. I'm like, No, but I'm trying to do it.

And I think it's because, especially for a lot of men, you push things down and they get buried deep. And this is a real tangent, but I was having these back issues and I read this book by this guy, Dr. Sarno, which I recommend everyone that has back. I don't know if you've heard of it, called Healing Back Pain. And what you realize is like headaches, ulcers or back pain or a lot of these things that we think are pain,

it's the subconscious mind pushing pain out of your mind. and into a physical place in your body. And so when you learn these things, a lot of this pain largely goes away. I think the same thing with cranial sacrials. You've got to be able to penetrate. But for some people, it's harder than others, especially if you, I don't want to generalize your men,

but especially if you've been a man that's been told your whole life, like, hey, bury that stuff deep and don't talk about it. Like, it gets stuck in a different way. You have to work harder to dig it out. It takes more time to get in there. Yeah. I've also found that, and this is one that anybody can do, without a cranial sacral therapist,

without any money exchange. Such a great one for all people, but especially for men, is this anger release practice. If you feel anger coming up, our tendency is to either release it in a violent way or to suppress it. And my favorite anger release tools,

you go into a bathroom, you go into a place where you're going to be by yourself, essentially, and you grab a big towel, like a shower towel, and you squeeze it, essentially like you wring the towel dry as hard as you can.

like this. And you put all of the anger and all of the emotion, all the shit that you're feeling into that squeeze. And if you're able to, you can let out a big yell. If there are people in nearby rooms, you're not comfortable doing it, that's okay. But you just put all of the energy into it. You can't break the towel.

So you can give everything to it. And you'll feel a really intense, energetic force, move through the body, goes into the towel. And when we release it, we notice it's a noticeable change. It's almost like a little sensation of bliss afterwards. Next time you're being rude to me,

you better go in that bathroom and you better ring that towel out. If you hear me doing war cries in the bathroom as they're trying to get in. Just fighting my demons in the bathroom with a towel. I mean, listen, that's a good way to release. It's a great way to release. It might kill two birds of the one stone. The kids might back off the bathroom a little bit,

shall I get a little privacy. Just hear me in there screaming my lungs out. We need to put our phone away. We need to take breaks. We need to stop with all the stimulation all the time. And we need to have nervous system resets. Is there anything else that you would leave our audience with that you think is really valuable? I just think in addition, a lot of what we've talked about today is creating space, right?

And distance from our devices. And making time for ourselves being in nature. And these practices are so important. but I also just believe so much that another key to nervous system health, but also like moving into our power and feeling like we can really be the person we're here to be is through connection. And I think it's so important that with the closest people in our lives, we push ourselves to be vulnerable and to be very real with what we're experiencing.

Because I think it's such a powerful medicine. I was reading recently about Robin Dunbar, who's a celebrated anthropologist, sociologist, the research that he's been seen shows that the single greatest predictor of mental health, physical health, and longevity out of anything that he's seen through his research right now is the quality of relationships with the three to five people that you're closest with. So the quality of the relationship with the three to five people that you're closest with is the single greatest determinator of your health, mental health, longevity. So I just think that there's so much there about leaning into connection with people,

forming, like coming back and forming bonds with people in our lives that we've lost touch with, you know, really making sure that we're investing in the people that matter most because it's such a critical part of being human. And there's also such a meaningful personal benefit to going there. Jesse, thank you so much for coming on the show. Where can everyone find you?

and where can they support the big quiet movement? People can learn more about me. I'm on Instagram at Jesse Israel and my website. Jesseisrael.com. Go DM him, possum penis. Thank you, Jesse. I want to do. You didn't know I was going to go there, did you?

I'm going to try to do that either one or two, at least two-day thing. We should both do that and just take a week. Well, here's one. I love that idea. Can you ever do it together or do? No, no, no. Okay, I'm just wondering because there's a logistic.

Doesn't it take the purpose away from the quiet then? It changes it. It changes the energy. Some people will experiment doing it as a couple without talking, but it is different. I would suggest as a starting point, you each do it individually. Okay, you can go first. We don't have to go so far, but you can go, we'll find a place. Yeah, I think you especially are so cerebral.

I'm going to go scream with my towel. No, if you don't have like air, I feel like it's, it's, it's. It's not good. I'm more micro. I get, I do my 30 minutes of meditation every morning. You do 30? Great. Every morning. Great. He does. I do Joe dispenza. I love him. It's changed to me. You do the more that specifically that morning meditation. He's, he, that meditation has built my, like a lot of my career. Because what I look at it like is a strategy session with myself. That's and because some people are like, I don't have time to meditate. I have time for a 30 minute strategy session with myself. I've built my business, the podcast in that 30 minutes,

and the life that I want. He sometimes does Joe. But what you like to do is he needs to go away like a cat. Cats go away to die, Lauren. Yeah, you need to go away. And you need to be left alone. And you're lucky I know that about it. No, no, no. I prefer. And again, I'm not an expert in this I'm still trying to learn. What I've noticed about myself is I prefer when there's not somebody's voice talking to me during the meditation. I like it more, either like some kind of of music or sound or quiet. You gotta try new calm, yeah. Yeah, I don't, listen, and I like Joe and some others, but I found that if I had the

choice between the two, I like when it's, you know. You know who else I like, every night I like to do, but this one I don't do like, I do while I'm like doing my skincare is Louise Hay evening meditation. Oh, yeah, yeah. I love her. Yeah, she's OG. Oh. What's the name of the Joe one that you do every morning?

Do you remember? I'll show it to you. It's called the morning meditation. That's the one I thought, yeah, yeah, I've done it before. It's very, very soul. It's like, you meditate on the future of yourself. so you think like where you are in a year and where you are in five years and where you are in 10 years. And you think about you doing that 30 minutes every day.

You literally create the life you want. I find it to be, I mean, there's no better business advice. Go have a 30 minute strategy session with yourself, build your business, your family, your life in that 30 minutes. Everything that I've wanted to happen has happened. Of course, systems have helped me get there. But the overall vision, that meditation is really powerful. Yeah, cool. That's awesome to hear that you do it every day. But I could go wait. I could still go away for two days. Yeah. And I have a protocol I can share with you guys if you want. I would love it.

I send people on it. So you actually like have a light itinerary for what you do by yourself. It's really effective. I'm going to give you my. Thank you, Jesse. Thank you, Jesse. Thanks, man.