The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Jackie Schimmel On The Painful Truth Behind Pleasure & Why Everything Is Not Going To Be Ok

Episode Date: June 24, 2021

#368: On today's episode we are joined by Jackie Schimmel Haas. Jackie is the creator and host of the wildly popular podcast The Bitch Bible and the new podcast Mind Body No Soul. This is Jackie's 4th appearance on the show and there's a reason for that. This is a no holds barred conversation that doesn't shy away from taboo topics and Jackie doesn't hold back.  To connect with Jackie Schimmel click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) Check Out Lauryn's NEW BOOK, Get The Fuck Out Of The Sun HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential  The Hot Mess Ice Roller is here to help you contour, tighten, and de-puff your facial skin and It's paired alongside the Ice Queen Facial Oil which is packed with anti-oxidants that penetrates quickly to help hydrate, firm, and reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, leaving skin soft and supple. To check them out visit www.shopskinnyconfidential.com now.  The episode is brought to you by Pete & Gerry's We know it can be difficult and confusing to choose the right eggs, but our sponsor Pete and Gerry’s Organic Eggs, takes the guesswork out of buying eggs with their best in class organic farming practices paired with the highest animal welfare standards. Right now Pete and Gerry’s is giving away a FREE dozen eggs to the first 100 listeners who go to www.peteandgerrys.com/SKINNY This episode is brought to you by Coors Pure Things are hard right now. But, to be honest, living a healthy life has always been hard. When it starts to get overwhelming, grab a Coors Pure. Coors Pure is an organic beer that is aggressive about balance and meets people where they are with enthusiastic positivity. It’s organic, but chill about it. Visit www.coorspure.com to see where you can find Coors Pure. Celebrate Responsibly. Coors Brewing Company, Albany, Georgia.  This episode is brought to you by Joovv. Experience the benefits of red light therapy by one of the best in the business; JOOVV! To experience the Joovv and receive a free gift with purchase go to joovv.com/skinny Produced by Dear Media 

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to The Skinny Confidential, him and her.

Aha! Understand that you're speaking to a stranger that has no context, doesn't give a fuck about your day, doesn't give a fuck about, you know, your new cat or whatever. And you appeal to a full stranger that could live anywhere, that has any interest or job or whatever. And you can entertain them. Then maybe you have a shot. If you're not that fucking funny and you're not that fucking interesting and you don't have a strong voice and you're insular and you're whatever, self-indulgent, your podcast is going to suck. Welcome back to the Skinny Confidential, him and her show. Today, we have a liability of an episode

with our good friend, one of our great friends, fellow podcaster, Jackie Schimmel. And she doesn't fail to deliver. What I love about Jackie though, is there's no sugarcoating. It is what it is. She's a hundred percent herself. I appreciate it. I'm here for it, especially in this day and age. She doesn't give a fuck. She really is the bitch Bible. She just launched a podcast with Dear Media, another one called Mind, Body, No Soul. We talk about that. She's been on Watch What Happens Live. I mean, she was the bartender, you guys.

I think twice. She's an incredible writer. In fact, I found her through her blog. And she's funny. She's in on the joke. I adore her and her dog, Leo. Well, in a time when everyone is so overly sensitive, if you haven't picked this up from the show yet, we are not overly sensitive and I hope this

audience isn't either. Jackie is refreshing. She's a refreshing voice. She provides laughter, relief for people that are in on the joke. Like Lauren said, she doesn't sugarcoat anything. She does what she wants, says what she wants, means what she says. And to me, that is the most refreshing type of person, which is why I have such a special place in my heart for Jackie, because outside of her joining this network, Dear Media, and being one of the first shows, she's also just a badass in life and just is who she is. And I just think that's so commendable in this day and age. She's been on the podcast, our podcast four times. I've been on her podcast four times. So we obviously have a podcasting chemistry that's really fun. This is not like an interview right now. Okay. This goes all over the place in a good way. It's like kind

of being at happy hour with us and getting buzzed off 55 martinis. And we were also on her podcast. So definitely check that out because the conversation continues. With that, Jackie Schimmel of The Bitch Bible is a podcast host, producer, writer, and a good time gal. She's also a professional asshole. That's her quote. So let's welcome the community college dropout, Jackie Schimmel, to the Skinny Confidential Him and Her Show. This is the Skinny Confidential Him and Her. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential Him and Her podcast. My name is Shaman Jackie Schimmel. I have taken over this episode in order to enlighten you and buttfuck you into spirituality.

Please bring your hands to heart center. Give up on your dreams. Lower the bar. Welcome. Hi. Hello. Sorry. Listen, it's just, it's just not within me today.

It's, I was feeling it. You were feeling it? Yeah. Yeah. I was just telling you off air that you told me you ordered a sound bowl off amazon yeah it sucks yeah but there's something about you that kind of likes the influencey vibes but like you hate it are you getting influenced without it like i have to have something to talk shit about yeah i can differentiate like i like being in the shit of it all you know what i mean i like participating

but also disparaging what is and admit it just right now admit it what is the most influencey thing that you've been influenced by by an influencer oh and be real soundball's got to be kind of out there yeah soundball's out there the soundball was just a rogue google search it was was like, I need a sound ball. And I thought it was going to be huge. I was like, why is it $700? So I bought like the $39.99 one. And it's a Polly Pocket size.

No, you need, you can't do the Polly Pocket size. You need, there's this one at House of Intuition. Okay. I have three of them. They're so beautiful. I'm not doing that. Why, Andrew? They look big.

They look bulky. I'm not going to figure out how to use them. What am I going to do? I'm going to wake up in the morning and start gonging the fucking bowls. That's what you do. I did that this morning. And then what happens? You feel like your energy is being cleared.

The frequency. It's such bullshit. It's so. I can't. The dog. Michael and me are like on. We're like no fucking way. Let me tell you something too. The dog and the baby stop everything they're doing.

Yeah, because they're terrified. No, because they're. Everyone's entranced. No, we're like no fucking way. Let me tell you something too. The dog and the baby stop everything they're doing. Yeah, because they're terrified. No, because they're, everyone's entranced. No, they're not entranced. No, they're confused. Yeah, there's like, this is how she justified. You're actually married to somebody, Lauren, don't take this the wrong way, with musical talent that could probably sit down and like actually, I guarantee you, Andrew will start like playing the bowls and it'll be perfect.

Oh God, that's my worst nightmare. Now I'm definitely not getting that. Get a didgeridoo. We have one. Do you really? No way. Of course I'm definitely not getting that. Get a didgeridoo. We have one. Do you really? No way. Of course we do. Andrew knows how to play the didgeridoo.

I was like, what the fuck's a didgeridoo? It's like a long flute. It's an Australian tribal instrument, I believe. Can you send me a picture so I can do a swipe up? It goes like... Yeah, he plays the didgeridoo. So you have to tell me what the most influence-y thing you have is.

I know you have something. But Lauren, admit you don't have, you have no music. It just sounds like a bunch of banging on a bowl. Lauren's got the voice of an angel. I was the star of the sixth grade show. What was the show? It was the Jubilee and I was the star and saying, girls just want to have fun.

And I know something. She came out in a full blue sequence. My voice is a little hoarse right now. Her dad told her she was like a real star. She's believed in a full blue sequence. My voice is a little hoarse right now. Don't make excuses, Lauren. Her dad told her she was like a real star. She's believed it ever since. Oh, no. I sing girls just want to have fun.

And you told me that you popped a boner for my blue sequin outfit. No, it was hot. I mean, listen, you were like fully. I guarantee you every single guy was standing at full attention. Taylor, how dare you? I come home in the morning like my father says when you're going to live your life right. And hold on. And the delusion is that her father told her that she was saying like an angel and she's

believed it ever since. She's like, am I Billie Eilish? This is what really happens. When Michael gets behind closed doors, I bet you when he leaves the office today, he's going to look at Lauren and go, when you sang earlier, your voice was so fucking sexy. Come over here. No, he doesn't. He doesn't give me compliments like that.

Taylor. Taylor, I don't know what you're talking about. Come give dad some sugar. Taylor. Taylor. You tone it down back there. I don't know what you're doing. Taylor, did you ever have a crush on me in junior high?

Okay, I'll be honest. Every guy did. Back in that day. Every guy did. Did your rat tail? Michael really was the survival of the fittest. He was the most eligible bachelor, but he definitely won out over everybody.

Literally every guy. So I was the star of the show and every guy had a crush on me? Honestly, you just won this argument. I wasn't the most eligible, but I won. So are you thinking you were the most eligible? No, no, not me at all. I'm just saying that because, again,

I don't know what the pool of people were. So maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. But he definitely, you had right stake to that claim almost the whole time. Taylor really knows how to circle the drain. You're going to make my eye life as hard. I love you, Taylor. Circle the drain.

What's the most influency thing you've ever bought? I know there's something. It's probably from fucking you, honestly. What's something it's probably it's probably from fucking you honestly what's something that's like you hate yourself when you press buy now i feel like i definitely bought some like amazon pajamas that you did a swipe up for do you have amazon like silky amazon pajamas that's zaza zaza influenced? I think Zaza influenced me. I feel like I bought those. I mean, the matcha, I leaned into the matcha pretty hard. I think I feel like I found that on Instagram. Sometimes I'll do a hate swipe up just to see, you know, what people are working

with. But it's definitely whatever it is, it's your fault. It's something that I swiped up from you. OK, but I feel like you like it, but you hate it. I do. It's both. It's a slippery slope. Yeah. And also, it should be mentioned that I participate in it. So I'm a full hypocrite because I'm hitting you with a swipe up here and there as well. So it's something that I have to deal with internally. How hard is it for you to post an Instagram picture of yourself? It's not great, although it doesn't fuel my soul. Yeah. You know what I mean? I get a little embarrassed. I'm more embarrassed about, you're going to love this, Michael. The Instagram ads are a little cringe for me,

but also girls got to eat, got lots of furniture to buy. So I do it, but I'm not proud of myself. If I could make the same amount of money doing the same effort level, I would do something else instead but I don't have any of those options. Hook. I honestly probably will start next month. I feel like that's a little bit more of an effort. That is way more effort. Not for me.

I don't mind it. I would sell pictures of my feet. You sell pictures of your feet, your underwear. I could do that. I could send underwear to prison. Yeah. But do they have the budgets?

I don't know. We don't know. And also the shipping's like a lot. That's a lot of work. They'll just send you a bunch of cigarettes from the commissary. Okay, here's the main question that I want to know. Sure. How was sex in quarantine? Oh, because we were just talking about it and we said it was not it was not seduced, like nothing was being

seduced, like it wasn't. No, it was, yeah, I would say probably this, no, it was good seduced like nothing was being seduced like it wasn't no it was yeah i would say probably this no it was good at the beginning and then i was so irritated having him around that i just like we had to have separation hours like i was like you literally can't speak to me from nine to five because i'm not used to having him around that much i was watching a lot of your videos with him like he really got into a fitness routine there. That's then it got back. Then yeah, we got back on track because Andrew all of a sudden is Jillian fucking Michaels. And it's like, he's very limber.

She's limber. Yeah. She is limber. What kind of routine? So she was typically starting out. She also has a man bun now. So get ready for that. Like full man bun.

Everyone had one of those for a little while. But hers is like really lustrous and nice. And now she's like kind of buff and it's very weird. So she would start out her mornings with like. Yeah. Walk us through her morning routine. Her morning routine consisted of a matcha latte. That's how she likes to start her days.

She poops. She was doing mat Pilates. She insisted on doing them in the bedroom. God forbid. We have two extra. There's other places that she could. Probably good light insisted on doing them in the bedroom. God forbid. We have two extra there's other places that she could Probably good light and good energy in the bedroom. And it was passive aggressive because I'd be in bed like watching fucking

Giada or something and she's dropping it low with her air pods watching like fucking mat pilates. I can't imagine you guys actually fighting though. Like Lauren and I, I think you could probably imagine. We could blow up. I can't imagine Andrew getting in a fight. I can get to blow up. I can't imagine Andrew getting in a fight. I could imagine you getting angry

but I can't imagine him getting angry. No, it's like Maybe you should take a fucking note from Andrew. It's a one-way fight. I gotta do some Matt Pilates. Yeah, first you gotta

drop it low, okay? I, yeah, I fight with myself. He doesn't really participate which makes me even more angry and then I get to a place where I'm so nuclear that it just becomes so funny. And then it's done. So after he does, she does. Oh, after she does her.

Yeah. After she does her mat plies, she was doing two a days for a hot second. Wow. That's really trying to be passive. It's really rude. And then we got the Peloton. The bike finally came. So she likes to end her little workout sesh with some cardio. That's a gnarly morning routine i know i'm inspired every day she was doing that and then then was he in studio at all or was he just working from home he was working from home and let me tell you something i would hear the same fucking eight bars of a song over oh because he's perfecting over and over and over that's why he's successful and over and over and over. That's why he's successful. And over and over for like 13

hours, the same fucking note. And I would go, I kicked him out. Eventually, I'm like, you can get coronavirus, which he did. I'm like, get the fuck to the studio. I don't care. You have to get out of the fucking house or I will murder you. Wait. So so let me ask you this. If you're describing what your husband does to someone, he's very, very talented. Is it producer? He's a music producer. Yeah. For a lot of gnarly people. Yeah. And he's a songwriter as well. But I would say like if I had to just he's a he does both, but he's a music producer and he's one of the most humble, down to earth, quietly confident people I've ever met. Yes. He's very quietly confident. I think it gets misconstrued because he's so shy on social media that he's a shy person. And he's not. And he's not quiet. When he says something,

it means something. Unlike me. I just fucking talk about circling the drain. Me and Taylor. Hold up. Let's talk about eggs. Like eggs that you eat. I just wrote a blog post today on the beauty benefits of eating eggs. And it is so crazy. I like dissected it and researched it. And it's wild. And in that post, I also wrote about Pete and Jerry's. Okay, you guys, these are the best eggs. These are the

eggs that I feed Zaza. Michael makes her cheesy eggs every single morning. And we like these because they're organic and certified humane free range. So they're a pioneer and leader in the egg industry. They've been in organic egg farming since 1997, and they're the first certified humane egg farm in the United States. Their hens roam as they please. So they're just hanging out, they're on organic pastures, and they're never treated with harmful chemicals or pesticides. They're just living that hen life. Their free range lifestyle means that they're free to engage in behaviors that come naturally to them.

So they get to dust bathe. They get to forage. They get to socialize in fresh air and sunshine. And this really has a lot of benefits for the eggs and also obviously for the hens. So you're going to expect this rich, creamy flavor. It tastes, I'm not joking, superior to other eggs. So how I can tell that an egg isn't the kind of egg I want to be eating is when the whites are watery. I'm a fan of these eggs. How I use them

personally is I like them scrambled. I like them in tacos. Definitely check out Pete and Jerry's. I'm telling you right now, Pete and Jerry's is giving away a free dozen eggs to the first 100 listeners. You guys got to run. And you got to go to PeteandJerrys.com slash skinny. To claim your free dozen eggs, go to P-E-T-E-A-N-D-G-E-R-R-Y-S.com slash skinny. Jerry's is G-E-R-R-Y-S, okay? Pete and Jerry's organic eggs are available nationwide at a fine grocer near you and i just like to know where my eggs are coming from and know that the hens are hanging out having fun i would like for you after this morning's fight.

Sure. To go spend a little bit of time with Andrew. I love spending time with Andrew. You guys love each other. It's really sweet. Because I think we're both simple in the sense that like we have our own shit. We have our like wives. We got our own thing. And so when we get to see each other, it's like very low pressure and just get to enjoy.

Like I like learning about what he's doing. Yeah. I find it interesting. You both love hanging out with your wives. No,'t have listen i'm not i i can admit i'm probably not the i mean we're the best like i don't like high maintenance friends so like i and i like to meet people and like i can just be like i get to catch up with him you know yeah it's easy and then we like kind of go breezy yeah you know what i need a break from in life michael weddings oh wedding i just need

didn't you get a fucking break are you joking we're just in a global my best my best friend in the world just got married and i love my i loved my best friend's wedding she was amazing she looks beautiful but i think that that moving forward with weddings we need like a self-aware book on weddings. Yeah. Can you write it? Yeah. I've always said that brides are the new Al-Qaeda. They're terrorists. Don't forget bridesmaids. Oh, bridesmaids are awful, too. But I mean, the whole fucking thing is so terrible. You know, the girl that's like, this is the most important day of my life. You I hope you get a divorce. I always say that, but I hope they get divorced because that's such a sad existence.

And like, if you're putting that much pressure on your fucking wedding day and you're going to, so you can do a slow dance to Jason Mraz, I'm not rooting for you. No one is rooting for you. I think the reason I bring that up though, is that weddings remind me when someone says high maintenance friend,

like when you're a high maintenance friend or you're annoying about your wedding it's like i'm like pushing it away from me this is why everybody loves us we never hit a nerve right no never it's always you know right par for the course totally what do you mean i read um i read i read somebody sent me this like screenshot this year and it's like jackie schimmel can do whatever she wants michael loves her so much he'll never do anything about it I'm like yeah of course I've seen and I said yes of course by the way can we take away the feature on Instagram too just while we're at things that we're taking away it's a scene oh my god I live in fear of that scene thing sometimes you accidentally hit scene and you don't mean to sometimes you

accidentally or when you're posting an Instagram story and you accidentally hit scene and you don't mean to hit scene. Sometimes you accidentally or when you're posting an Instagram story and you accidentally hit the notification that we need to get rid of above and it's like scene. What about when you accidentally join

someone's live? Oh, that's the worst. And then you give them the satisfaction. It's like, Jackie, she only just joined and I'm like,

ha! No, no. Not every day on Instagram. No, the worst thing to do is when you accidentally join a live, it's just a click of a button by accident right when they're going and meet. That's what to do is when you accidentally join a live, like it's just a click of a button by accident, right when they're going.

That's what I mean. But you're the first person. Yes, it's awful. Why does that happen to me 15 times a day on accident? It happens to me all the time too. You're watching something and it pops up. No offense, but if I'm in your live, I accidentally, my fingernail clicked it.

Me too. I've never actively joined a live Instagram. So if I'm there, it's you got bamboozled. Can I tell you what I do? You're in your Twitch. You like have to say hi because you accidentally. No, you don't.

Okay. Can I tell you what I do sometimes? Because I don't. You just leave. Hmm. That's I, I'm like, shit,

do I just leave by the way? You bounce. What if they say something and then I've already left? Then you don't know. That's not your problem. What you don't know, it's not your problem.

Oh yeah, because there's the delay. Yeah. So they can be like, hey Michael, how you doing? Looks like we have Jackie yeah, because there's the delay. Yeah. So they can be like, hey, Michael, how you doing? Looks like we have Jackie joining. Okay, so zero.

We're getting rid of high maintenance friends. We're getting rid of scene. We're getting rid of Instagram Live. Weddings we can do, but like, let's be self-aware. Let's not do the money dance. Let's not do a cash bar. The money dance, I forgot. Let's not do also a mandated hairstyle for your bridesmaids everybody fucking hates you

you're a terrible person do you remember terrible when they thought instagram live was like the main thing and everyone was going live do you remember that in the pandemic no no that first few weeks oh yeah when everybody thought like oh shit like this is the new algorithm like it's live it's the main thing and everyone was going live it was just just a bunch of dribble. Yeah, that was bad. That was bleak. There's been a lot of like little bleak. Lauren's like, what's my live strategy? I'm like, I don't fucking know.

I did not say that. For sure you did. I went live once during the pandemic. For sure. I guarantee at some point you were trying to figure out a live strategy. Well, I was like, should I do this? No, but you know she did too, right? A hundred percent.

A hundred percent. What's my segments? Live with Lauren. And now nobody does it no no yeah i want to get rid of the live but i i really just feel like out of all people in the world if you wrote a book on self-awareness when it comes to weddings it would be a bestseller yeah i i feel like would it though what's the chapter title brides are the new al-qaeda no it slaps that's a bestseller let I think let bridesmaids pick their dresses if you have to choose a color like choose a color but just let them pick their dresses yeah and don't make everyone

to fucking take you to saint bart's for your fucking you know bachelorette party okay and also i always i've said this so far people are like jackie you keep repeating yourself yeah well try it for seven years and then call me the fuck back if you live in a studio apartment in fucking pacoima and you're registering for aramez china you can fuck all the way off you can fuck all the way off. You can fuck all the way off. We're not doing that. That's not happening. I know someone that was registering for like eleven hundred dollar salad plates. And I'm like, yo, bitch, yo, bitch, you don't have a car. Why the fuck do you need this China? Taylor, when you get married, I feel like you're that person. No, fuck no. I would buy it for you, Taylor.

I would be like, why did you spend this on this? What are you registering for? I don't know, to be honest. I have no idea. I'd probably just say buy me records. I have no idea.

Oh, it's worse than the Hermit's War. You need more records like you need a fucking kick in the head. No, I haven't bought any records in a while, but that's why I don't know.

I really don't. I don't have a lot of collectible things. What about donating to charity? Oh, God, I did that. Oh, fuck. It's so elegant. No, my friend's doing that right now.

She's like, no gifts. Everyone's flying to Europe. What should we do? Donate to charity. I'm like, God, that's elegant. I don't have the inner sophistication to do something like that. There was something about me going through

and being like, I want this toaster with this setting. It's pretty cringe. I did it. I couldn't do it. It's so cringe. I just, and then like, I just, I felt like it just eliminated. I wouldn't do it now, but back when I got married, I was like, I put luggage on there because I'm a psycho.

That's disgusting. I almost think if I got married in this moment right now, I would say no gifts. So elegant. It's not about elegant. No, but it is. It's very chic. You're spending so much money

to already come to the wedding. You get the dress, you get your makeup, you drive, you fly, whatever it is. And then you also have to get a gift. We have this friend. Starts with a W.

Walter, Wilma. We have six friends so if someone's gonna figure this out Wallace Weston Weston oh shit I should have known that

and is it Weston he has been invited he's one of those guys so likable that he's invited to every single wedding on the planet

we have four friends one of them has a W it's Weston he's down the hall right now why don't you just say it's Weston he's literally right down the hall Weston has that personality though that like Weston. He's down the hall right now. Why don't you just say it's Weston? He's literally right down the hall.

Weston has that personality though that like everyone thinks that he's their best friend. So not only is he invited to the wedding, he's invited to bachelor parties all over the world. He's every groomsman and he hates confrontation. So he just ends up going along and just being at everything. He's probably

spent half his money. Every birthday party. Weddings and bachelor parties. Every company grand opening. Every groomsman. Everything. Someone should do a movie about that one person.

You know the person that just like, people want him around. Yeah, elevates the experience. Yeah. I guarantee you if someone called him right now that he hasn't spoken to in 20 years from high school and said, hey, Weston, I want you to come to my wedding. He'd be like, all right, well, I guess I'm going to.

And you're getting a great gift. If you're listening and you know Weston and you have a wedding, just don't invite him. Please. He doesn't even want to be invited to our wedding. Like give him a break. Give him a break. He almost shit his pants when he did the speech for us. It's not his gig.

Okay. Just give him a break. Taylor, the reason I wanted you to turn your mic on. Well, we want you to turn on every time. You just don't fucking listen. Yeah, but this time I was really adamant about it is because I wanted you to tell us about your quarantine experience.

Be real, Taylor. Well, my quarantine experience consisted of, again, I normally stay at home in the first place. Don't circle the drain. This is like normal business to me. This is what I'm talking about, Taylor. At home. What was it like?

What was your morning routine? Can you please just get to the point? Hold on. My routine? He's milking the clock over there. The first thing that happens is you have the alarm clock that can't be turned off unless you do a math equation. Oh, shit. Tell us about that.

I have to turn it off because it's about to go off. Tell us about that. Your math equation alarm clock that wakes you up. And then I want you to walk all of us through your morning routine, what you did in quarantine, your nighttime wind down. Lauren, you're not understanding that something about Taylor. They don't exist.

Those things don't exist. Taylor didn't even notice there was a quarantine. That's what I want to know. That's what I'm getting at. To me, it was just normal. That's normal. He lives in a dark hole room with his record player and his games and his

technology. And he, but now he has a girlfriend. I'm completely fine sitting at home. He didn't know the pandemic was going on till like three months. How many breaks did you take to beat your meat? Throughout the day. What day of the week is it?

Let's say it's a Monday. A Monday? Yeah. I don't know. I have to look at my journal. What? Oh, you have a masturbation journal? That's cute.

How many really, Taylor? Be real. I don't know. It depends. Maybe two. How do you have time to do that like morning and night

or like you double up no it's usually night late evening is it edging or is it no just like again I'm tired

I'm like I'm tired I'm like wait a second what do you mean edging oh you haven't heard about edging no please delight me you've never heard of edging no Taylor

edging is the process isn't he your producer haven't you guys talked about this really quick before you tell her what edging is your next podcast should be called edging? No, Taylor. Edging is the process. Isn't he your producer? Haven't you guys talked about this? Really quick before you tell her what edging is, your next podcast should be called edging. Okay, great. Thank you. Your audience will find it riveting. Yeah. Tell us what edging is. What edging is, is masturbating to the point of almost climaxing, but then stopping. So you're basically going right up to that edge. So you're on up to that edge. And why do you do that? Explain why you do that.

So what that does is it helps prolong orgasm and lets you develop a resistance to wanting to bust your nut. Okay, thank you. Happy Wednesday. He started elegantly saying that and then ended it in a really disgusting, terrible way. Yeah. So you're not edging anymore.

You're just beating me twice a day, sometimes three, depending on the day. The edging work too, terrible way. Yeah. So you're not edging anymore. You're just beating me twice a day, sometimes three, depending on the day. The edging worked too, if anyone's curious. Do the edging, stick with it. And then the more you know. How long do you last now? As long as I need to. Now it's like the same thing.

So you could last two hours? You've trained the muscle. Two hours, I don't know about two hours. At one point I'd be like, come on, like, is it time yet? Nobody wants to fuck for two hours. Yeah, that's where i'm going two hours i'm like maybe i'm just too jewish for that shit don't cut it out i uh it's too it's too long i'm like two fucking hours i can barely sit in a movie theater for two hours

i could have sex for two hours i can't so let's move on from that there's not even enough position two hours learned you have a very very nice let me put it out sometimes we do an hour and a half podcast and I'm done about an hour in totally have you calculated what two hours of actual time is? there's only three

maybe it's a titanic two hours is maybe a little long you can watch the whole dances with wolves there what's a fun time in Hollywood. Missionary doggy and what is it? What? Missionary doggy and cowgirl. What's your favorite position?

There's not that many. Unless you're doing those obscure ones. Don't change the subject. What's your favorite position? Mine? Yes. Hmm. I feel like you're the type of guy, Taylor.

Why does he say hmm when he likes hmm? Standing doggy is great, of course. Okay. And then riding is good when the girl rides you. That's the cowgirl. Thank you. Or doing just standard old plain Jane missionaries. I feel, Taylor, like you're the type of guy where the girl picks you up when you have sex.

I don't love missionary. It's like a little like... It's not a great angle. There's passionate missionary. Yeah, it's not a great angle. Everything you in mission it's not a great angle everything you're laying down like it's just it doesn't do it for me yeah i don't love doggy because i'm so worried about like butts and stuff like i just i don't know i just don't like it but you have the best body no my ass is not my strong suit and it just feels weird i'm like i have i got my leg

humped by a boyfriend years ago before I met Andrew. And now I'm just like very weird. I like I like face to face contact. What do you mean hump? Yeah. Yeah. I told us this story. Yeah.

I've had my I dated a guy that like humped my leg. That was his thing. Did he ejaculate? Yes. So denim on denim. Did you just like I just stood there under to him and just let him do it. I would just like play brick breaker. How many times?

I let it happen like three times. So he was like, hey, like my thing is to hump a leg. No. He kind of just squatted down low one day and was like, is this okay? And I was like, is what okay? And then he braced himself on my knee and ground

upward until he came in his little cargo pants i would be okay with that and i'll tell you why why do people have to be so fucking weird i was okay with it i was like listen this is very easy for me it's very efficient that's why i'd be okay with it what do we when we post on instagram people say they say don't kink shame totally i'll take selfies yes like just get a couple things passive multitasking yeah yeah yeah i like that yeah and then like he gets served what he needs i mean at the time i was just so happy to like get my own appetizer i didn't really care you know what this is going to be a this is going to be a statement that maybe gets pulled out i think maybe we're a little bit too accepting

these days pull a clone see i disagree with you i think whatever like whatever anyone's sexual appetite is like great sure but i do them who cares but listen we're just good we're just getting off the reservation here i don't i would be weird like that's your reservation right so maybe someone else has a different like taylor has a different reservation than you he needs to beat his meat three to four times a day maybe some people get weird have weird kinks i've heard what's the weird kink that you have? I don't have any weird kinks. I do not believe that you don't have weird kinks.

I remember when someone mentioned this in one of the podcasts, I wanted to jump in because I thought it was so... The strangest thing I'd ever heard anybody say. They said sounding. And they described it where they were talking about inserting something into the urethra. Yeah, it's when we talked to Sophia. That's a little bit much.

What the hell? I had never even heard of that. They put a rod at the dick hole. It's not for me. I don't, I wouldn't want to. So you turn your dick into a sound bowl? How does that even come up? So it's like, so by the way, would you mind explaining this?

It breaks the energy. By inserting something into your dick hole and then beating it with a eucalyptus branch, you'll achieve nirvana. Another blog post that I have written recently, because I'm still big on the blog, has to do with beauty and wellness. And that is my juve. I use my juve every single day. Here's the strategy that I have put into my calendar. I've optimized my life like this. I do my Wim Hof breath work, butt naked in front of my juve. Copied me on that. I did copy you on that. I even turn around and I do my butt because I heard butthole sunning is all the rage. And then I'll go take a freezing cold shower. And I am telling you, it wakes me up like no other. And this isn't a surprise at all

because the founders of the Juve came on the podcast and told us that red light therapy is all the rage and that it's such a healthy light and that it does give you energy. So red light therapy, I'm telling you, get on board. The JOOVS devices, in my opinion, are super sleek. They're chic. They're 25% lighter, and they also intensified their coverage area so you can stand three times farther away. And if you're wondering why you would use red light therapy and what some of the benefits are, if you want better skin, better sleep, less inflammation, reduced pain, more hair growth, a better sex life. Yes, a better sex life. Red light therapy leads to all of these benefits. So it's a no

brainer. It's why we do it every single day. I mean, who doesn't want all those benefits? Another fun thing is if you don't want to buy the huge light that we have, I also have the new Juve Go. It's little and I take it when I travel. It's affordable. It's battery powered and you can take it anywhere you go. Throw it in your handbag, okay? Get your red light therapy in. If you're looking for a new Juve, we have such exciting news. You're going to go to juve.com slash skinny.

That's J-O-O-V-E dot com slash skinny and use code skinny. What you're going to get is an exclusive discount on Juve's next generation devices. Exclusions apply. Limited time only. Check out red light therapy. Exclusions apply limited time only. Check out Red Light Therapy. Get on board with Red Light Therapy. What is the biggest kink that you have, Taylor? Don't say you don't have kinks.

I don't believe it. I'm thinking, honestly, I don't really have any weird kinks. What about this one about i'm fairly fucking standard when it comes to do not tell me that he likes getting fisted no other way around never speak to him again no no i i've never trust me can you fist pump me no again i've experienced that but i i myself i've never i've never received but i definitely have given that one i think jackie little suck puppet guy yeah, I was basically uppercutting someone through their vagina.

Okay. Oh, we might have to cut that out. Risky. We're getting canceled. That might be towing the line. I think conversations like this are important though because there's a lot of people that are embarrassed and shamed for what they like sexually.

And it's like, who cares? I love that you're trying to make this philosophical. It's really cute. And I like what you're doing. I like the angle. I'm not taking the bait, but I love that you're trying to make this philosophical it's really cute and i like what you're doing i like the angle i'm not taking the bait but i like that you're trying to make this like a you know a wholesome moment you know what though i really think that we are opening the conversation it is by saying that taylor likes to fist i mean listen jackie why i love you so much i because for multiple reasons but like i think sometimes it's okay to just feel like shit and not coddle everyone and say like hey this sucks you know like we don't need to turn this around and make the one person that wants

to get sounded feel better right i mean listen i get it do what you want but at the same time like we don't need to cue the rainbow i'm gonna make it live in our filth if someone wants to get sounded that's listening that's fine get sounded i personally think you're a fucking weirdo taylor's like where do you even go and buy the equipment for this thing not because i want to try where does where does one find If one was interested in such practice. If a person... Hypothetically speaking. Taylor. I feel like when you heard Sophia,

because she is so pretty, say the sounding thing that you would have been open to Sophia sounding you. No, I was more curious about it because she made it seem as if it was such a popular thing. And that's why I thought it was interesting because that seems to be a very very obscure thing. The strangest thing I'd

ever heard is there was a girl years ago that I went on a date with and she literally said, so do you like to get pegged? And I didn't know what that was. What are you talking about? God, this is old news, Taylor. I didn't know what it was. Again, this was years ago. I had no idea what it was and she goes, yeah,

the last three guys I was ever in relationships with like to get pegged. Hold on, moment of silence. Moment of silence right now. Did she peg you? No. I don't believe it. No, fuck no.

You weren't intrigued. I don't care about it. Yeah, someone's getting a little rashy. I had never, I didn't know that that was like a common thing, but I guess it is.

That's why there is these, I don't want to say strange things because I don't want to make someone feel like they're strange if they do it. But you're strange, so it's okay because it cancels the strange out. So you're allowed to say strange. Would you like me to peg you? No, I would have no idea. I'm not talking to you.

I thought she was asking me. I think we would have just, I think we've known each other for a very long time. I think we would have circled these waters by now. No, can I just try it once? I don't think so. I think we've made it this far. What would be your price? My price? Yeah, for her to peg you. It's getting pretty high these days. I asked Weston and Michael how much that I could pay them to have sex. And what was your price again? My price is really high for that. I think it was a mil. Wait, for you to have? No, no, no for michael and weston to hook up okay no it's

way more than no i think his price was a mil yeah are you sure yeah way more because one that's too low but two they'd make it awkward no it's like it's not a rant like you can't do that with your best friend and then like be like hey we just what about a random dude that you'd never see again my well like price for that well listen because i don't i mean listen i think i love how he's negotiating this like it's a fucking dear media business by the way i'm just wondering what your boundaries are in my younger days party days like i always thought to myself well it kind of feels the same in the dark you know what i mean sure okay so what'd be my holes a hole you know it's 2021 let's get frisky i know let's get frisky probably 10 5 000 no no no no no

dollars ten dollars five five to ten dollars no no i mean listen i don't i mean listen i know how hard it is to make that kind of money and you're talking about you know why are we i literally acting like this is a negotiation like like we're like about to sign a contract. A lot of guys get uncomfortable. Have you met your husband? A lot of guys get uncomfortable because they're like, oh,

does that, does that make me gay or straight? Whatever it is. Like, I don't care about that. I'm like, this is a job now. Andrew said the same thing.

We've, we've gone over this. You have to, you have to ask a hundred questions. I've asked about the pegging multiple times. I'm like, how much would I have to pay you to be able to peg you?

You know why I wouldn't let her peg me, though? It just changes the whole... I just feel like we don't need that dynamic right now. Yo, I'm already like alpha. Yeah, so I feel like for me in the bedroom, I'm a lot more feminine because I am... Not pegging him? Yeah, I'm not. Also, it just doesn't turn me on, right?

Right, yeah. I think we should release the sex tape, but we'll talk about that later. Is it called pegging? Oh, so good for downloads? I know know so good for the network yeah if shit if shit um starts to fall off we have a backup plan you like as a ceo you should take one for the team and drop a sex tape because it would help everyone on the network yep or would it or or would everyone leave the network who knows no no it just might just be us three. Whatever.

That's how we started. You're speaking for everyone. This is a perfect transition to what I was wanting to ask from the beginning before we completely derailed this conversation. I feel like, Jackie, you might give me a few more passes than maybe some others on the network. That's probably true. Which is why I wanted to bring up jackie shimmel was

your first sign yeah she was never the person i don't ever forget believed in you blind support yeah when beneath my wing cubette middler over a cubette middler over a fucking chopped lascala salad that's right yeah signed her contract in rose can i be honest with you right now i had no fucking idea what i was doing no i know neither did i i was just like sure blind following the blind i was like yeah i like that boston guy he's going places you want to start a network i'll go with you luckily i figured a couple things out along the way but at the time i was like hey this is a little bit dicey you were up front about that i was like i don't care i'm like i'm making six dollars a year but we were all in really shitty deals i had nothing to lose

at that point oh i was gonna lose my talent fee of three hundred dollars well this was at a time right people were like what the fuck is the bank i was like whatever this is a hail mary go bostick go when you signed on you obviously had low expectations which is the best with everything so when michael actually exceeded one of your expectations was it like what was your vibe i was just you know i i was pleasantly surprised because i remember you saying like, you are going to make this per month in three months or something. And I was like, okay, sure. This fucking guy with the hair. And then it happened. And I was like, oh my God, I've been, I was lied to so many times prior for years that I was just like, ah, I was kind of taking it with a grain of salt. So I was very, very pleasantly surprised. Well, you were probably, well, the whole time.

Well, here's the thing I think people forget. Like that whole time you were worth every penny and more before we started working together. But people just do shitty fucking deals at town. Yeah, I didn't. And I also didn't have access to like my numbers or expense reports. Like I had no idea. And I was doing ads every fucking week.

I got zero, zero dollars of ad revenue for three years zero I cannot believe that the first time I went on your show I was so nervous I was sweating I was perspiring I was shaking because I was like you're you're so good on a mic that it was it was so much pressure I wasn't used to podcasting and I don't mean to brag and I say in every podcast and I still will I read you that titanic post on leonardo dicaprio what maybe it wasn't titanic leonardo dicaprio oh yeah those have all since been deleted getting the bj with the headphones and i said and i turned you in bed and i said this bitch is gonna be a star yeah but god but that was b we and then we we met jackie like that was We met Jackie Like that was Before we even met Don't even try to say

No Lauren slid into Like my Twitter DMs And I ignored her For months I was like Who is this Bitch Fuck this fucking

Influency Influencer I was just like I don't know I don't think this is Gonna work Totally From the looks

And then I met her And I was like Oh my god She's not at all I don't know I was a little nervous On your show But you know what's funny

like I actually don't want this to be like a calling card for people to to like come join the network that sounds counter but because I people like come to me all the time

and I'm like they're in like they the first thing they ask me is like they need to make all this money like I need to make money like right away

and I have zero sympathy for those people because for what you did for what we I mean like it was two three years before you we made anything I know I hate when people and I'm like i don't some people on the network too they're like

how did you go and you're like i just want to do it cost me money and i'm like bitch three fucking years call me back oh it's been a month it takes a hot somebody can be like this is a lot of work i'm like yeah no shit sherlock i've been doing this for fucking and people with pre-existing platforms like oh my god do you need a fucking lotion infused Kleenex big I don't know I was a receptionist shut the fuck up I don't know if this is worth my I don't know if I'm gonna make money I'm like then leave yeah I have a really

Big problem with anyone Who is doing really well on One platform thinking it's going to translate To another platform and just because Who they are it's going to work For instance like i don't expect to come on tiktok and get millions of followers i would respect the medium of tiktok that i don't respect it i think it's stupid but like i know i'm not gonna just like oh you can

make money like i wouldn't go onto that platform and be like where's my money yeah do you know what i'm saying and people sometimes who are very famous will come into the podcast space and be like, why am I not making money? And it's like, it's a new medium. You have to work the medium before you make money. Summer is coming. And you know what I love during the summer, Michael Bostick? I love a cold beer, which is why I am so excited that Coors Pure just came out with an organic beer. It's simple, straight to the point. It has organic barley, organic hops, and water. But here's the thing. I'm a huge beer drinker, but I don't usually explore it because it can feel heavy on the gut and I get super bloated. This one, tried it guys, zero sugar, 92 calories. And it's the perfect beer for the summer. Like I

feel like it is the beer of the summer. Guys can drink it. Weston steals it out of my fridge every single day. Michael loves it. I'm telling you, if you want to enjoy a beer and not feel bloated, this is it. Okay. I feel like we all are working out, we're eating healthy, we're doing all the things, all the wellness trends. If you're going to drink a beer, why not make it organic, okay? This is like the beer that you want to make a michelada with, okay? How I like to make my michelada, just on a side note, is with lots of ice, a Coors Pure, a little bit of tomato juice, maybe a tajin rim, and I am ready to go. That is a skinny

michelada for you, okay? Coors Pure is the perfect beer to celebrate the wins of everyday life. So when you want to enjoy a beer without the guilt, you're going to reach for Coors Pure. It's organic, but chill about it. Go to CoorsPure.com, that's C-O-O-R-S-P-U-R-E.com slash skinny to see where you can find Coors Pure. Go to CoorsPure.com. That's C-O-O-R-S-P-U-R-E.com slash skinny to see where you can find Coors Pure. Cheers. My whole thing is like go to another network and let them pay you a stupid amount of money to see if it works. And then like after that and I know it's working, then come over here. Right.

So let them do the test. Let them take the dive. I'm going to interview you guys. How has you guys is working relationship been? Pretty damn good. We speak the same language. Yeah, I feel like you guys do. Yeah, I really do.

No nonsense. No drama. No bullshit. Like very straightforward. Yeah. You know, and we like you guys do. Yeah. I really do. No nonsense, no drama, no bullshit. Like very straightforward. Yeah. You know, and we've hit road bumps. Well, the only time. And we've worked them out.

I think like the only times there's, because I don't come traditionally from entertainment. And like, I think sometimes like I don't do well driving with like the lawyers. And I'm just like, no, I know. Right. It's like they get a little irritated i got that memo but um but at least like anytime i i think the way we work to

unbutton my pants we take them off taylor will beat his mean get his one his one out of two our conversations when it comes to business what like 20 minutes i'm like this is what i could do this what you do that's it yeah it's pretty simple who do you think right now because you are such a good podcaster is fucking crushing podcasting i don't listen to any podcasts none zero that is so offensive that you don't listen to the skinny confidential i accept this one of course i don't even listen to my own i don't listen to my own i don't listen i can't hear my voice i'm just whatever i do the thing um i mean a Alex Cooper hello of course the deal she just got yes fuck yeah you know what I hate it's so funny because some obviously I know we all know a

fucking shit ton of podcasters and I'm friends with Alex and I I knew about this and not I didn't know the number because that would be weird but but I knew that this was happening. And I hate that people in the space are like, it's that mentality of like, why not me? And that really bothers me because it's like, this is good for everybody. This is like an amazing, I just, people who think that way are losers and they're going to keep losing because you can't even like, that's, that didn't even flash in my fucking head. Like when I saw that, I was like, this is fucking incredible. We've been doing this long enough where there was a period of time where people like, what the fuck's a podcast? What are you doing? How do you listen? It's just like, you know, doing like understanding this side and the network side, like it's getting it's going

to break a billion. There's money coming in. gonna go to two billion Like people like It legitimizes the space It's fucking awesome 100% It's an abundance Over scarcity mindset And I always tell this story But it's so relevant To what you just said

Who's that actor That I always Terry Terry Hatcher No Well there's a weird No no no

See how I was just talking And he like just Completely changed the subject I'm not changing the subject Who's the actor? Terry what? Terry Crews? Yes.

Terry Crews was driving down the street when he was starting out in Hollywood. And there was a huge billboard, like whatever, on Sunset. And it was a role that he had tried out for to be a leading man. And the person that it went to was Tom Cruise. And he said he remembers driving down the street and he thought for a split second fuck that i was supposed to get that and instead he said in that moment he's like wait because he's a leading man this is opening up more space in this industry for me and now he's a huge celebrity obviously yeah but you have to what alex cooper has done for the space is so right what you said it's

especially for women come on you don't have to like the show you don't have to like like it doesn't matter none of that fucking matters well you know like it's the same thing like people give like whether you like joe rogan or not people give shit but like what you got to understand is like this is a guy that started doing something like this in what 2006 yeah like whether you like him or not he's a massive powerhouse he started time when nobody gave a shit yeah he's He's moved a medium, right? Like he's made it, he is in large part

with people like Alex and people like you, like they made this medium viable for other people. It's why you see a network like Dear Media go from six to a hundred shows because like people are like,

okay, money, talent. And I think it's a weird, like the general, I think what's happening is people see numbers getting thrown at celebrities

or influencers or creators. And such a hater mentality. Like, you know what? Then get your fucking head in the game. Yes. And it's like this disdain. It's like, I think these people should do this stuff. People are building careers, right?

It's the same thing. You would never expect an actor or an actress to go do movies for free or to not raise their rake or their take. Yeah, it's a weird thing. You're 100% right, though, it's a weird thing. You're 100% right though. It's a loser mentality. It's like you should be excited when you see people growing and moving because it means there's doors opening for you as well.

It also means that you're secure and have good, like it drives me crazy. I hate that narrative. It's going around too. I texted her last night. I'm like, just wait. People are coming out of the woodworks. People are jealous.

Yeah. Or they're opportunistic-y. That's the grossworks. People are jealous. Yeah. Or they're opportunistic. That's the grossest. I call it. That's worse. I call it lily pad. Oh, you're just jumping where you you jump to this lily pad to get to the other lily pad. And like I feel for her because it is probably lonely what just happened to her.

And when I read that headline, I thought this is going to be really hard for people around her to even relate. Like she probably doesn't have a lot of people to talk to. Well, she can wipe her tears with dollar bills. She'll be fine. She doesn't need to do the money wedding dance. No, no. But it is incredible and it's amazing. But there are going to be things probably that come with it after shocks for anytime something big like that happens it's like you you know you get a target on your back but anyone that's worth sticking around sticks around and anyone that's a fucking piece of shit scum sucking rodent can go in their rat trap she's gonna realize that real quick yeah yeah yeah congratulations alex jackie shimmel's next.

I hope so. I don't know if I can handle that. What does it mean so she can only be on Spotify, no iTunes? Which is an exclusive deal. Oh, yeah. I'd like to tell you,

I brought you guys here today. I'm going to Spotify. I can see that. Bostic, I love you, but if I got a big fat check, I'd have to say lovey. Say lovey. We would kick you out.

I would help you broker the fucking deal yeah yeah you pack my bags don't lily pad michael yeah no but listen lily pad you know there's a lot of what's happening i buy you a parting gift though something cute gift basket edible arrangement yeah yeah edible arrangement you know what those always get like from like moldy though from a business standpoint what's happening in audio right now is, and I would hate to be in the middle, right? Like I would hate to be one of these kind of like early audio radio companies that are in the middle because what's happening is you have the up and coming shows, talent networks, and then

you have the tech giants, the Spotify's, the Google's, the Apple's, the Netflix, like people, what's happening is people are like, okay, this is a viable established medium. That's only going to grow. It's if it's at a billion now, it's going to go to two, it's going to go to three, it's going to go to four. Radio is on the decline, right? Like it's the same thing that happened from cable television to on-demand. Like why would you go listen to radio when you can listen to podcasts or Spotify or music or Apple, whatever. So like, it's just history repeating itself. And what's happening and why you're seeing these astral numbers is like these tech giants are going to battle it out with each other, right? see serious getting in you see amazon getting in

you see obviously spotify google's going to do something netflix just announced they're doing something i imagine the warners of the world to do something it sounds like you know what you're doing now after all these years finally i have a question for you and i feel like you're the perfect person to ask this okay who should podcast like what makes a good podcaster because everyone's jumping in the space give it give me your your like full like i'm gonna i'm gonna give it to you because i think that people are getting a little too encouraging okay looking at me straight in the eyes not everybody needs a fucking podcast okay i'm just saying when people ask me like hey i'm just like what's your tips for starting a podcast?

I always say don't. And people think that I'm joking or I'm being funny or I'm being cynical. I'm really fucking not. I don't think everyone should have a podcast. I don't think everyone's a star. You could be a T. You know what I mean? It just it's a hyper saturated marketplace, if you will.

And not everyone's fucking interesting. Sorry. Not everyone's fucking interesting. Sorry. Not everyone's fucking interesting. And podcasting can be very self-indulgent. Sure. You get, you like the sound of your own voice. You live for the lights. You want to talk about the dream you had last week.

Nobody fucking cares. And I feel like if you understand that you're speaking to a stranger that has no context, doesn't give a fuck about your context, doesn't give a fuck about your day, doesn't give a fuck about, you know, your your new cat or whatever. And you appeal to a full stranger that could live anywhere that has any interest or job or whatever, and you can entertain them, then maybe you have a shot. If you're not that fucking funny and you're not that fucking interesting and you don't have a strong voice and you're insular and you're you know whatever self-indulgent your podcast is

gonna suck i see you've put a little thought into this i do i feel so strongly about it because it kills me you know what's funny it kills me i swear and maybe wouldn't believe this now looking at dear media but i do start every conversation trying to talk people out of doing it because again not everyone should do it. I touched on it in the beginning. I was like, if people come in and the first question they have to me is like, can I make money?

I'm like, okay, the first question you should ask is like, are you interesting? And can you actually build an audience? Second question is like, Hey, I don't really have time.

I just like, you can't do this as a side thing. You got to be a full thing. I think if you can't do an episode sitting on a mic by yourself, but I will give, but that is a good one. But here's what you just said. If you can't do an episode a good one but here's what you just said if you can't do an episode sitting by yourself that is what you just said i think that is a really good

i think that's the test you know what else i tell people if you're dependent on guests every time you probably can't do it by the way can i tell you a little fucking secret i have decided i hate having guests i never want another guest in my whole fucking life. We invited ourselves on your podcast. Well, you guys don't count. You guys don't count. I'm saying I am not doing the thing anymore where I have to like,

well, could you send over topics? No, Cheryl. I'm not sending over topics because I don't have topics. We don't send topics. Hold on. You don't want to be a guest on someone's show

or you don't want guests on your show? You're talking about if press asks you to send the topics or the guests ask you an event. Never doing that. We don't do that. I don't care to have guests on your show? You're talking about if press asked you to send the topics or the guests asked you an event. Never doing that. We don't do that. I don't care to have guests

on my show anymore. Can you vaguely describe the experience that made you feel like that? Because I feel like there's an epiphany that happens. Oh, there's tons of them. There's tons of them. I realized during lockdown that I can

carry it on my own back. And i had very little to fucking pull i love your humble attitude i know she's so grounded i just i like the freedom of having full creative control knowing when to keep it moving knowing what people want to hear after you know six and a half years you figure out what people want to hear after you know six and a half years you figure out what people like and what people don't like and believe me i get enough fucking feedback in my instagram dm so i kind of know every time i have a guest people are like if it's someone i don't have a rapport with it's always like hey this episode i don't like her and this and then it got a little boring and i'm like you, you know what? Let's just kick it. Well, here's-

Let's just kick it. When you take us on your podcast journey, I'm going to let you be the captain and I'm just along for the ride. Just tell me where to stand. No, I will. But I will. It's hard with comedians, I will say,

that I have encountered. Most of those episodes, I've never seen the light of day. Not really fucking funny. Only setting you up for their next bit. I'm not in the mood. OK, I noticed that, too. It's funny when comedians

and I'm not talking about all of them. I'm talking about some of them. Yeah, me the same. A lot of them like aren't funny. It's weird. Yeah, they don't know how to shoot the shit. And then it's extra work because it's almost like they're used to It's weird. Yeah. They don't know how to shoot the shit. And then it's extra work. Because it's almost like they're used to setting up bits.

Exactly. And then you're like, I feel like a pawn in a chess game that I never wanted to play. I wouldn't call you a comedian. I would call you a personality. I am not a fucking comedian. But you're the funniest.

It's weird. That's sweet. I don't know. A lot of people fucking hate me. They're really going to hate me after this episode. That's fine too. You know who I think you would. A lot of people fucking hate me. They're really going to hate me after this episode. That's fine, too. You know who I think you would like to podcast with, who you do really well with, is the Morning Toast.

I know I've never done. Yeah, I've met Claudia, but we've never, we haven't done that yet. I feel like you guys would be like, yeah, it would be great. I've heard that. I mean, I haven't met her sister, but Claudia and me, we went on an influencer retreat together and we hit it off. You know what? There's some things that we've learned over time.

Obviously, we've had a lot of guests. Yeah, yeah. There's parameters. There's no brief. There's no PR. There's no like you don't get a set up. But your show is so informative. You know, you're helping people.

But like we've had, there's been like eight to 10 episodes. We just don't air. Like, okay. Like if you come in with like a real PR- real PR like I need this, I need these edits. Like people come in after like I need all these edits. I'm like, I'm just not going to air the fucking thing. I don't care. Like, I don't care if you come on. Yeah, I want to if you want to come on and shoot the shit and have a conversation and talk to the audience and like keep it light and fun and do this like great. You want to start getting like like going to today's show. Anything that feels overcrafted or over minced like makes me

uncomfortable so i'm then when i'm not having fun this is narcissism hour if i'm not having fun i don't want to put it out here's the biggest control said she doesn't not want to have fun for one hour of her life she said she has to be having fun at all times i feel that way here is the biggest piece of advice that i can give to anyone that is thinking about podcasting, but outside of everything we just said, but now I see like, you know, I'm running a net. I see all the like numbers, analytics, everybody thinks that guests and people move the needle. It's the host. If you don't come back, like the listener is there for the host. It might be nice. You get a big name. It might spike the numbers a little bit. We've seen that.

But like, what consistently keeps the show going is because there's a connection to the host. If you think you're somebody that could come in and just like have a deep roster

of like big name guests, it's not going to move the needle. Nobody gives a shit. They are there for whoever's hosting the show. Heather McMahon also does a good job and you guys together.

She's a superstar. She is the biggest star in the world. I mean, I couldn't love her more. And I would say she's not a comedian either. I'd say she's a superstar. She is the biggest star in the world. I mean, I couldn't love her more. And I would say she's not a comedian either. I'd say she's a funny one.

No, she's a comedian. She is? Oh, yeah. Full stand-up comedian. She is? Yeah, I'm probably gonna. Oh, yeah, she's going on tour. Oh, I thought she was

more of a personality. I didn't know she's a comedian. Me and Andrew went and saw her and Andrew cried. Like laughing so hard? No, he also, her show is amazing. Hi, Heather,

you're welcome for the free plug you know i don't do this her show is so great and so funny and also like very heartwarming like andrew got misty really oh yeah it's great you'll all the feels i think that's important though with the comedian that they can take you all over the place but she's also not on like that's the beauty of her because i don't really have any comedian friends except for her because there's not like it's not like the light's dim and then she's this you know she's another one though that's like a real one the realist like I I think like where like yeah she's fucking she's just you know I feel like I understand like there's a business behind everything but it's like I think going back to

like you and I like the reason it works is it's very straight like for there's no no filler there's no bullshit what it's just like hey we could do this could do this if this works this doesn't like it yeah people would deal with that actually you know people give you shit a lot of time jackie but like i would like i personally love you and respect you so much because like i feel like you're such a straight shooter like i can't do the thing i don't want to it's like we work very well i tell lauren all the time i'm like in my eyes no matter what and i told you this i'm like you could do no wrong for me i gave you one call one time telling you not to do a clothing deal which i actually think you should thank you yes i thank you very much

fucking thank you and i thought i thought about it all the headlines i thought about it at the time and i was like fuck i hope jack Jackie doesn't think like because of the relationship with your media that I'm coming in trying to step in the middle. I just genuinely, I'm like, this is not going to go well.

I have not had an experience in my life as bad as that situation. Yes. And I, that sentiment was mimicked by a lot of people. It is.

Dodge a bullet. You, the energy of it, knowing you, of the people that you were dealing with would have like it's no synergy those headlines would be you i know you know like it'd be you and yeah that's not good no thank you yeah that that's a facade but you know at the time because i was like we're just starting out i'm like i don't it's weird because i was like i'm gonna do silky

pajamas with ira you know what i mean like do silky pajamas with I write. Do silky pajamas. Just don't do it with those people. As soon as you put on like a network, like there's always, listen, I get it. And we had the same thing here. Oh, there's always like this guard. It's like, is, is someone taking advantage of me? Cause I'm trusting my brand. That's the nature of the business. So whenever, when people are getting a cut of what you make, I'm a cynical human being.

I don't come from like a showbiz family. Everyone that I, everyone in my family is in like finance or real estate or like something boring so when you don't come from that you don't know it in every way and people do work off of taking a piece of the pie naturally you you question you should question that's a smart a smart person should and would my mentality is always if i'm not making you A much bigger fucking pie Yeah

Then you don't need me And also For sure If someone comes to me And they're like I really don't like I'm like good Yeah I know

I'm gonna tear the Fucking agreement up I love that about him Like I'll tear the Agreement up Good I don't I think that's a very

Old school And I get why it exists Hollywood Agency mentality I lock you in this contract i lock up your rights i lock your music rights i gotcha if you want to fucking work with me there's somebody else like i also think in business actually before you go to the next subject i just want to let everybody know that i that he is absolutely speaking from the heart

and that and if someone were to try to say oh you do suck he would say people would go i'm fucking you go good somebody wants suck his dick a lot, though. He would say, people would go, I'm fucking, you go good, bye. Somebody wants a promotion. When's your review? I was literally agreeing with him. If him and I get in a fight, you always take his side. It's getting exhausting. No, that's not true.

Yeah, you do. Oh, no, no. I'm not trying to make this an expose about me, though. I'm just trying to point out that there's a new wave of the way things are getting done in Hollywood town. And I think a lot of people

are going to have to evolve their business model to recognize like, hey, like the way things used to work is not the way things are going to work in the future. No, if you're confident in what you do, why do you need all of the tethers and the anchors? You know what I mean? It's just, it feels like fuckery. It feels like too that, and I've experienced this, I'm sure you have too, that there's so many weasels that like aren't really doing anything they're just running in circles trying to get a piece of the pie oh god and it's like what are you actually doing what are you actually bringing to the table running around acting chaotic and busy what i'm realizing is

like there has to be a reason that we're doing something together. We eat what we kill. That's what I tell every single person I work with. I'm like, if you don't bring it, you don't kill it. You're not taking a fucking bite, buddy. That is good. Yeah. Well, that's the way it should be. I literally said, I sent an email a couple of days ago like, oh, hey, is so-and-so commissioning?

I said, absolutely not no i cut everybody out of everything if they're just they're not doing anything no no no if you didn't no just because you're cc'd on an email that you don't get a commission that's not fucking happening but it is the old way though like i'm i i notice even when i work with i work work with certain people they're always trying to get something for doing nothing and or like a project gets to the end and it's almost final like how am I getting it's like what do you where you been this whole time like uh no no no no buddy welcome to the fucking ballpark you're out you're on the bench a hundred percent Taylor thank you for being on this episode thank

you Taylor you really carried the show I would appreciate it, if the next compliment came to me, not Michael, because you have been... Are you kidding me? I paid you the best compliment earlier. I said every guy in the sixth grade was Indian. Oh, that's true. That's a really good compliment. Taylor, give me a compliment.

Jackie, every time I see you, you brighten up my day. And that's the truth. That's a little. You could do better. You could do better. Feels evergreen. Feels Hallmark. Really?

Yeah, give me something else. Say something actually like really niche really niche yeah I'll wait I think I get along really well with Jackie because I think

I identify with her humor so well that's not a compliment something else we'll all wait you're just fantastic Jackie you're the sunshine of my day

you already said that damn it fuck let's get back to this one let me think about it you can't think of anything for Jackie because I'm trying to think of something unique I can think of a hundred things of my day. You already said that. Damn it. Fuck. Let's get back to this one. Let me think about it. Why don't you fucking think about it? Because I'm trying to think

of something unique. I can think of a hundred things. Think about something and you're going to say it on my episode. I know what. I know what. For all,

and I've told you this too, for all the times that you say on the podcast that you're like, oh, like I just put on t-shirts and lay around and not fashionable.

You are so fashionable and you have style. Every time I see you, I always think, wow, you're dressed to impress. Your compliments are... Taylor, you're dead to me. Anyways, thank you so much for having me. Thank you for coming on.

Taylor, this is my last and final question. It's yes or no. You cannot say anything besides yes or no. He can't do that. Did you beat your meat to me on a Monday in sixth grade? No, I never did. You never made the spank. Another insulting. One word, Taylor.

One word. I said no first. That's okay. Well, you just ended it real rude. So get your compliment ready for Jackie's show. Thank you for coming on. Tell everyone where they can find you. Follow you.

Podcast everything. I have two podcasts. The Bitch Bible and Mind, Body, No Soul. everyone where they can find you follow you podcast everything um i have two podcasts the bitch bible and mind body no soul and you have to listen to mind body no soul because i think it's genius and that's tell us i'm gonna make you force you to like tell us all about it it's fucking it's just great it's just a great great fucking show you're using adjectives like taylor we need more it's a satirical guided meditation podcast it's wellness for the unwell some people need a little less namaste and a little more shut the fuck up and get your shit together and that's my elevator pitch it's cortisol kind of but also like some people need a little rage yeah like i want to be hot and bothered in the morning i don't want

people to tell me what's i'm saying we don't always have to feel good i don't want people to tell me. That's what I'm saying. We don't always have to feel good. I don't want to like good vibes only. Bad vibes are the best. Lauren only likes good vibes. I will listen to your morning meditation. Of course, I already have. But I am going to have my sound bowl near. You're going to need it. I'm like maybe an exorcist.

It just feels good. Someone like me, like I wake up, I don't want to be like, okay, today we're going to have, I want to be like okay today we're gonna have i want someone my wife doesn't get that about me give it to me yeah sometimes i just want to be like i want to sit in a dark pit of despair and totally yeah like what's what's wrong with that sometimes i'm better when i'm angry i'm more functioning i'm more articulate when i'm a little rashy i don't like when he wakes up and looks for what's wrong. My anger in the morning gets me going.

But I like sometimes I wake up and I say to Andrew, I'm like, I want to fucking tussle. Like that's what gets my dick hard. Okay. Listen to her podcast. Both of them. Poor Andrew. What's your Instagram handle? What's Leo's?

Leo's in the house. Leo is here. Oh, my gorgeous. It's at Jackie Schimmel. You guys follow her? I'm probably shadow banned. Monthly shadow ban. Yeah, it gets lifted, banned every time.

Every other week, truly. And Taylor's is at Till's You Die if you were compelled by it. Just in case you want to come check out my cool content. Yeah, I don't have content. Make sure you wipe the history of that computer back there before the next producer comes in here. Please, please. Thank you, Jackie. Thank you so much. do you really beat your meat twice a day do you want to

win a signed copy of get the fuck out of the sun it's available on amazon barnes and noble target and where all small books are sold all you have to do is tell us your favorite part of this podcast on my latest instagram at lauren bostick and someone from the team will drop into your DMs and tell you you won. We will personalize it, make it all cute, whatever you want to say. And with that, thank you so much for listening, and we'll see you next time.