The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Jackie Schimmel & Scotty Cunha - Roundtable, Dating Advice, Wild Stories, & A Lot Of Adult Content

Episode Date: March 26, 2019

#178: This episode is a wild one. We are joined by our friends Jackie Schimmel & Scotty Cunha. Jackie is the host of the wildly popular podcast The Bitch Bible, and Scotty Cunha is a celebrity hair stylist and media personality.  To connect with Jackie Schimmel click HERE To connect with Scotty Cunha click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by OPENFIT, TSC Him & Her listeners get a special extended 30-day free trial membership to Openfit when you text [SKINNY] to 303030. You will get full access to Openfit – all the workouts and nutrition information--- TOTALLY FREE.   This episode is brought to you by FabFitFun Sign up for FabFitFun today! These boxes ALWAYS SELL OUT! Use our code TSC to get $10.00 off your first box! Go to fabfitfun.com to sign-up and start getting the box for a life well-lived! - that’s over $200 for only $39.99!  This episode is brought to you by RITUAL Forget everything you thought you knew about vitamins. Ritual is the brand that’s reinventing the experience with 9 essential nutrients women lack the most. If you’re ready to invest in your health, do what I did and go to www.ritual.com/skinny  Your future self will thank you for taking Ritual: Consider it your ‘Lifelong-Health-401k’. Why put anything but clean ingredients (backed by real science) in your body? Produced by Dear Media

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. get the vitamins and minerals they need on a daily basis. So Ritual created a smarter vitamin with the nine essential ingredients women lack most. Go to ritual.com slash skinny today to choose clean ingredients backed by science. Sign up now at ritual.com slash skinny. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential. Him and her. Aha! Coming in live, coming in hot. WBCT.

I was pretending we had a radio show. We don't have a radio show. We're just a podcast. just an everyday podcast, everybody. Lauren, what do you think? I think that this episode requires a lot of caution. Oh, that's what you told me to say. Yes, Michael. Yeah, lately, a lot of our episodes are requiring caution. Like if you're in the car with kids, maybe don't listen to this episode.

This isn't the one. Put on Baby Shark or something. Yeah, definitely don't put this one. I think this interview opens up with doughy balls. So that's like PG compared to where it goes. Yeah. This, this gets, this one gets weird. When Michael was editing this episode, he was literally laughing out loud, crying with tears down his eyes. No. Well, Taylor was editing it and I was, I was asking him like what he was literally like just dying laughing in the middle of the episode. So this is another

round table episode. You know, we did the first one back with Jillian Michaels and Justin Anderson. I hope you guys liked that format. We're going to start peppering them in here and now every once in a while. This one is with our good friend, Jackie Schimmel of the Bitch Bible and our other good friend, Scotty Cunha. We're going to pepper in some of these round tables like the pepper in Michael's tooth. They got rid of that. Take it easy, Lispy. Okay, guys, I have a lisp because I had a jaw surgery again, which is so annoying. I decided to remove the plates and the screws from my jaw because it was giving me trouble. I felt like I was always swollen. And ultimately I think that it was blocking and maybe I'm crazy, my lymphatic pathways in my face.

So I was constantly like the swollen mess. So that's why I have a lisp. It's not hot. It's not good. So I'm not going to do a lot of the talking today. Michael can do that. Well, don't have to ask me twice. You know what though, Michael, I will do a solo episode maybe in like two weeks when I'm feeling better. Let's get that lisp under control before we do those. So yeah, like I was saying, this episode, another round table format. Last week, since Lauren was in the middle of surgery, I did a follow-up to her 73 questions, did my 73 questions with Mimi. Those are fun. So we're gonna do a little bit more solo stuff as well. But listen, guys, we love when you send in ideas,

give us feedback, let us know what you want to hear, see what you want us to do. Because it's fun to involve you guys. And we're having fun with all the feedback, especially when we do those episodes that are a little bit off the cuff, like that 73 questions that we both did. Lauren did one, I did one.

We got to keep it evolving. We can't keep it boring. It's kind of like my jaw. You never know what you're going to get. Well, that's true. Listen, I think I found my next tattoo. Maybe my next tattoo will be a jawbone. That's actually really fucking cool.

I never knew this much about jaws. I never knew there was this much to know about jaws. Well, if you guys want to read about my double jaw surgery experience, I wrote like 20 blog posts on the Skinny Confidential. It's been such a ride, but hopefully it's done after this but i am fucking swollen which is annoying oh my god it's just been enough all right enough's enough let's name our firstborn jaw anyways guys with that let's get into this roundtable episode many of you know our guests the first jackie shimmel of the wildly popular podcast, The Bitch Bible. Jackie is one

of the best people. She was fucking hilarious. Lauren and I. She's on Dear Media. She's on Dear Media. She was one of the first signs. I knew right when we were doing this business, I had to get her involved. I love working with her. She's the best. And I love her husband, Andrew, too. So Andrew, if you're listening. Okay, Michael, this isn't bromance time. Introduce Scotty. Oh, and Scotty. We talk about bromance. Scotty Cunha, he's been on this show before as well. Many of you have heard him and know him. He is a celebrity hairstylist. I don't know what to fucking call him. He's a celebrity hairstylist. And guys, if you haven't listened to the previous episodes with both of these characters, you have to go back after this episode and listen because

like you got to do a deep dive. I'm telling you, they're fucking funny. This episode just honestly, you'll hear in the beginning of this episode, I just look at everywhere and say, I don't even know how we got here, but we're here. Okay. We're cock teasing the audience, Michael. Let's get into it. But before we get into the interview with Scotty and Jackie, I want to tell you guys something that has been life-changing. So since I've been down and out all week, I've made damn sure to stay on my vitamins. You know what I mean? Can't be screwing around with that. So I'm so serious right now about my health. Like I'm not joking around with it. I'm being really serious about my diet. I'm not drinking. I'm doing tons of chlorophyll water. And of course I'm doing my

ritual vitamins. So ritual vitamins not only came with me to draw surgery in my purse, it also went with me to the recovery center. And then it's been by my bedside all week. It's a real obsession for me. Okay. So it's something that's with me everywhere. It's always in my purse. I'm really obsessed though, because it has D3 and magnesium in the vitamin and the magnesium is fab because it really gets things going if you're backed up you know what I mean I won't go into it because Michael's here and then the d3 is something that I've always lacked maybe it's because I don't go in the sun I don't know but to have it in one is just so efficient I personally don't want vitamins rolling around all over the bottom of my purse

because I feel like buying 10 brands that are probably not made with the best ingredients and then having them fall everywhere is just it's not not efficient. You know what I mean? So as you can see, this is why I'm obsessed with Ritual. Not only are they legit vitamins, they're also efficient. I take two minty vitamins in the morning. Okay. What I do is I put them next to my toothbrush and my tongue scraper and they smell right. They smell like mint, you guys. None of that chalky grossness, okay? So a subscription's super easy to start and it's super easy to snooze too. It's only a dollar a day to have all the essential nutrients in your body delivered every month to your door and no strings attached. Better health doesn't happen overnight. Help fill the gaps in your diet with

Essential for Women. It's a small step that helps support a healthy foundation for your body. Just visit ritual.com slash skinny for 10% off to start your ritual today. That's ritual.com slash skinny for 10% off. This is the skinny confidential him and her. Don't do this to me in front of Michael. I'm going to have about as much chance of wrangling this podcast as hurting cats. So I'm just going to sit back and let you guys. My first question is, do you have any BJ tips? Oh, yeah. And we're here. Hi, everyone.

Where do you want to start? From the balls to the shaft? Or do you want to start from shaft to balls? Because I have different. Where do you start, typically? Yeah, like, what's your vibe? Like, are you more of like a head person? Or do you like start with the balls and then go up?

I'm really focused on the balls. Okay. You're a ball girl. Yes. Really? Michael has got it. You can't even keep a straight face. Well, I didn't know you were a ball.

I mean, they've never been neglected, but I didn't know you were, like, a ball girl. I always go straight for the balls. I can do without the ball. You're a ball girl. Yeah. This is really informative. Okay. So I'm more of a head person but i love balls if they're

great and doughy and like big how did we get here how did i get how did my life turn into like doughy balls like they're just like this is an hr nightmare for you michael this is an hr nightmare i need to bring someone in immediately you know what i mean doughy balls you are a sick little fuck and they're just like thick. Ew. The sack is actually, the skin is thick around the ball. I love. I'm so perplexed by balls. They're like webbed and weird and I feel like you can like

move them into the sack. You have to get into them. Like a Krispy Kreme. Yes. Yes. But like donut holes. Yeah, and sometimes they're sweet. Sometimes they're like, you know. Salty. What's like a bad ball? Just like small or no ball.

Like a prolapsed ball. Yeah. Like what's prolapsed? No, no. That's a prolapsed. A prolapsed anus is a different thing. It's a, not inverted, but a. I think you have a dilated anus.

Thank you, Taylor. Taylor. Way to chime in. How do you know Taylor? I frequent the porn circuit. Oh. See, and this is why it's an HR nightmare. Taylor, I'm going to have to have you reign it in over there.

Dial it down, Taylor. We're here. We're live. We're with Jackie Schimmel of the Bitch Bible and Scotty Chuna of? Cunha. Cunha. We don't know yet. I think you should have the audience vote.

That's a good idea. Oh, OK. Instagram. Yeah. What are your three running the audience vote. That's a good idea. Okay, Instagram. Yeah. What are your three running up names? The Scotty Show. Okay. Okay.

Straight to the point. Like it. Wait What? Okay. Which is like, wait, what? Yeah, got it. And then Hey Rosé, It's Me, Scotty. I like three.

I like three, too. Yeah, I think three, but I still- Or Donut Balls. But I- You know? No, because my- Did you want to hear about my photo shoot that I already have planned? Yeah, tell us all about it.

Okay, so I'm going to be like. Is there a fan involved? No. Okay. I'm going to have like, I'm going to need to borrow one of these mics. I'm going to have a mic, headphones, taking a selfie, drinking wine. If you don't talk closer to that mic, you won't be doing shit. You're going to get backhanded by Michael.

Balls deep in the mic. Oh, balls deep. Hey, balls deep with Scotty isn't bad either, by the way. Will we get a rosé sponsor with balls deep, though? I don't think you'll have a problem there. I think they're going to be just throwing bottles at you. OK, fine. So I want to be holding a glass of rosé, taking a selfie with the mic, with the headphones,

in my white button-up, all my beauty products, a ring light with Shake Shack, and then the photo of me is doing everything. It'll be really cool. And then one option I'm going to do in a white button-up with my tighty-whities and be on the desk. Like straddling the microphone or something? Something sexy on all fours? No, like a knee on the table and one on the table.

I don't know if this was originally pitched in the original pitch movie. Well, that's why I didn't tell you until today. Wait you also need a header. Like you should do a header long naked. Can we talk about the person you're trying to set me up with to get my hair cut in the conversations you're having around these Angela why haven't you called me yet?

Because I don't know what you got me into. You were sending Lauren all these weird messages. No I just like every gay asks like is the person hot or not and like are they rich are they what do they do i just want to i just want a fucking haircut but i just told i was sending it to them to be like oh my god how funny is this like because i was like hi i'm sending you my favorite male ever and literally the response was is he gay no what does he do exactly what does he do manager is he hot Exactly. What does he do? Manager. Is he hot?

Yes. OK. Literally, those are the questions. Those are the prerequisites? Let me tell you something. I like that. When I used to get my hair, usually the prerequisite was like, do you have hair? Yes. Do you need it cut?

Yes. Cool. Do you have a little bit of cash? Your hairline, his hairline is good. I know. Strong hairline, Michael. How's Andrew's hairline? It's beautiful.

He has a beautiful head of hair. Andrew's a beautiful man. We all know this. His hairline's important's beautiful. He has a beautiful head of hair. Andrew's a beautiful man. A hairline's important. You don't want a cul-de-sac. You know, I was looking at Michael. I'm always inspecting it. There's a couple grays in there now. I wonder why.

Why? Yeah, why, Michael? Maybe because you talked to me before 11 a.m. this morning. It's a big contributor. I don't think that's too much to ask to have your husband not talk to you before 11. I have an 11 to 6 p.m. rule where we just don't communicate. I'm like, why are you like, he's like, hey, how are you? I'm like, how the fuck are you?

Like, I'm fucking fine. What the, like, really? Really? See, I had it rough, but I am legitimately scared for Andrew's life. Me too. By the way, I have instilled that from day one. I want him to be like a little bit uneasy around me. Is he actually uneasy around you? Sometimes. that i like lead with fear though you know why

because you're unpredictable you're a little unpredictable i a hundred percent and he knows that and sometimes i'll just look at him i'm like you don't even know what the fuck i'm capable of lauren you have no idea lauren's somewhat predictable she's a little scary but she's predict like you i'd be a little bit like okay like what this something could come out of nowhere here we don't i don't know i glaze yeah hard how can we set you up with someone like what's the requirements yeah give your list tall tall breathing michael's out homosexual gay tall and breathing they could be bisexual i think nowadays like you could be anything trans non-gender conforming who knows cool whatever yeah okay so they just have to be

tall that's the only requirement taller than me which isn't like that hard i'm five three what about more successful than you i'm down with that because always i'm the successful person and like it kills their no i mean i'm i would assume you'd be down for that but like would you be okay with the opposite too you're okay with being the more successful one i'm totally down with being the daddy but in my like experience with dating older guys or like people that aren't as successful i am or like are in like transition of like what they want to do in life it's a real boner killer when you're like working and famous and like being like fabulous and like they just like go into a corner it's true so you're you're always rolling in money and so famous the paparazzi are stalking you so it kills the

boner. Yeah. Okay. Okay. See, this is the thing. I'm okay with being in the back of the paparazzi photo. I like to be the star of the show, but I'm also okay. There's only one Beyonce in Destiny's Child.

You know that? Exactly. So I don't mind taking one step back. You'll be Michelle. She's so skinny. Michelle. Who cares about Kelly? You'd rather be Michelle than Kelly? Yeah, she's so thin. You don't want to be Beyonce? No, I am Beyonce. That's my issue. That's what I'm saying.

It's like when I'm dating someone and I'm saying like, hey, like, you know, I always thought I wanted just the hand in the photograph. Like in the paparazzi shot. Like just the hand. Like you're like mystery man. But then dating someone like that, I realized I almost need like a little bit of a star too. So they like won't.

No, the most genius collab is Kim and Kanye because they're like both such powerhouses that they, of course, to me, that's like, yeah, like we can't do Chris Humphries. Oy, yikes. I have a question. If you saw the most attractive guy, like just on Santa Monica Boulevard, Comfrey's. Oy. Yikes. I have a question. If you saw the most attractive guy, like just on Santa Monica Boulevard, hot, gorgeous,

stunning, but he happened to be a homeless person, would you fuck him? Yes. Cool. There was zero. Absolutely. I've had sex with a homeless person in New York. Oh. I didn't know until after. He was taking a shower, and I was like, oh, wait, that backpack's really big.

I'm like, oh, my God, this person is homeless. When I was staying in a hotel for work. He was so hot, and I didn't realize until after the moment. I saw the hottest homeless guy today. That's why I was asking. No, the newest. Off receipt of motherfuckers. Doughy balls?

Everything. Doughy balls. Built. Homeless guys have to have doughy balls. How are you so fit and Crunchy doughy balls. And homeless. Like, tall, handsome. Like, was showered.

But, like, I think because he, like, came over from another person. He found a hose. Yeah. There has never been a quicker answer in the history of this podcast. Yes, immediately. How did you... Okay, this was a homeless person that you ended up having intercourse with. Oh, you're still on that.

How did you meet this person? What were the circumstances? What? Grindr. So he had a cell phone. Oh, so he... Okay. Okay, that doesn't count as much.

I'm talking about like a fucking cardboard box, a dog with one leg, and a fucking just like a box of Chex Mix from 1947. Is he like a 12? Yeah. Yeah, done. But crunchy. Everywhere. Who's the weirdest, most eclectic person that you've had sex with?

An Uber driver. Oh! Was it a black car or is it a... It was Max. Cool. Was it pool? No. How did that happen? Listen. He just asked you how your day was and all of a sudden you're in his doughy ball well now i would never ever ever because of like cameras and like

me too like i would never like three years ago when uber first like actually two years ago when uber first came a week ago it's been no no it's been a while since i've hooked up with like an uber lift driver because i'm so like everyone. This is happening a couple of times. Cool. More than once. Okay. All right. Let's take a step back for a second.

This episode is getting out there. It's getting you hot. It's getting hot. It's getting heavy. As you guys know, fitness has always been a big part of our lives. Lauren and I always like to change it up. Recently, we were introduced to the OpenFit streaming service. I love it because it's a service that you can introduced to the OpenFit streaming service. I love it because

it's a service that you can use from the comfort of your own living room, your bedroom, dorm room, hotel room, pretty much any room actually. Many of you know that I have always had my struggles with yoga, getting in the studio, don't know if I'm doing a weird meditation or if someone's petting me or touching me or bending me over or, you know, it just gets weird in there sometimes, guys. You know what I'm talking about, especially for us guys. You don't know where to look. You don't know what to do. Lauren, you know what I'm talking about. Totally. And I, but I do know yoga is really important. And, you know, Justin Anderson was on this show.

Just tell him how I caught you the other day. So she caught me. I was, I got a new program on the OpenFit app. It's called Yoga 52. And get to the point. Lauren caught me. She caught me streaming in the living room, downward dog. Downward dog, full spread eagle. And you know what I did? Instead of making fun of him for once, I joined him. But honestly, guys, it's a really rad streaming service. They have fitness applications, yoga, nutrition plans, et cetera. And it's really easy to use. So give fit a try and of course we have an offer lauren give them the offer open fit has changed the way we work out and with our code skinny you can join us on a fitness journey personalized just for you again use code skinny

and start using open fit for your journey to a healthier life right now during the open fit 30 day challenge our listeners get a special extended 30-day free trial membership to open fit 30 day challenge our listeners get a special extended 30 day free trial membership to open fit where you can lose up to 15 pounds in 30 days all you have to do is text skinny to 30 30 30 you guys will get full access to open fit all the workouts and nutrition information totally free again all you have to do is text skinny to 30, 30, 30. He was just giving me eyes in the rear view mirror. And I was like, OK, those are eyes like I'm down. Like if you're down, I'm down. And he was like a wink.

It was more just like a like, oh, where are you going? And I was like, I was going home. You. Yes. And he's like, where are you going? And I'm like, well, I'm I'm going home. But like, I don't have any plans. And then he was like, OK, well and i'm like well i'm i'm going home but like i don't have any plans and then he was like okay well we can't do this in my car and i was like okay come

to mine and so he like parked the car and we like hooked up in my house when you're when you when there's two guys is it like a transaction every single time like there's no feelings no it's like wham bam thank you ma'am. Yeah, unless it's multiple times. Like, I've had fuck buddies that I actually like, but, you know. Did he talk the whole time? No. Like other Uber drivers? No.

He was very, like, he knew what he was like. I'm going to get this one. I know it. He looked in the rearview mirror and was like, it's on. It wasn't like a, like. I can't tell if this is going to get us an Uber sponsorship or not. I thought he should do an Uber sponsorship. I think yes. He's going to get some unique sponsors sponsorship or not? I think yes. Scotty should do an Uber sponsorship. I think yes.

He's going to get some unique sponsors. I'm talking about us. I can't tell if this is like, if they're going to be like, yes, we're pumped on this, like we're full service, or if they're going to be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I think you need to niche down on everything. Like Jackie needs a Blue Cheese Olive sponsor. I need Postmates sponsor. I need Rosé.

Yeah. And Uber and Lyft. Come on. Get to work. It happens. God damn it, Michael. I am not the only person that's hooked up with And Uber and Lyft. Come on. Get to work. It happens. God damn it, Michael. I am not the only person that's hooked up with an Uber or Lyft driver. I would do it. It happens all the time.

I don't feel like you were like a dirty little whore. Yeah, I don't think so. No, I was for a hot second. Were you actually? I had a moment in time. It was a great time in my life. Like how many guys are we talking? Like, you know, are we having like 10 text messages going on at once i was like actively dating like

four people at the same time and let me tell you i was made for this made for it i had like all the text messages staggered had my days staggered i had my meal staggered girl was hungry i knew someone was gonna like cough up the appetizer and the entree and then someone would only pay for drinks then somebody would pay for like you know activities so i had my activity guy had my appetizer guy and my drink i had my entree guy maybe a double entree guy i am dying can i text you the next time i have a crush on someone you should do that for text messages that's a good idea so good okay that is a good idea oh i am so gonna hit you up she's so witty just text her what to say but i'm a mind fucker like i can send you screen grabs and you'll tell me what to respond

1000 you know what you can't do in 2019 like this is a public service announcement to everyone you cannot open the instagram and have it show scene oh it says scene to the other person you have to like open it up the next day if i was dating in like this era like i think about this sometimes because you never know totally the statistics are not on our side lauren i remind andrew of that every single day yeah michael who are you gonna date that's better than me that's exactly what i say whatever you gotta tell yourself no i say every day like over and over it's like conditioning you can't open the instagram always open no no no no scotty no that is the worst thing you can do you i will wait like two days to open it uh-huh it's cool dm uh-huh if it's someone i'm trying

to like no like i won't open it for two days what do you mean if it's someone I'm trying to like, no. Like, I won't open it for two days. What do you mean if it's someone you're trying to like? Instagram came out after we started dating. Listen, Michael, a lady should keep her options open. Yeah. Oh, my God. Two days for the DM? There's nothing that kills a boner more than a seen Instagram. Because it's like you're so hungry that you have to open it.

It's too dehydrated. Yeah. Like, you're busy. Who knows what you're fucking doing? OK. OK. Also, you have to be careful if you're watching someone's Instagram story. Like, like you're busy. Who knows what you're fucking doing? Okay, okay. Also, you like have to be careful if you're watching someone's Instagram story,

like if you like them. I don't think guys play these games. Yeah, they do. I don't think you have to deal with these games. Everyone plays these games. Guys love a challenge. This is like a mathematical equation around his head. You just said it was transactional

and now you're saying they play games? Do you have like a burner Instagram account? I have. Oh, great. Oh, great. Good. Wow. Done. I was wondering Oh, great. Oh, great. Hello. I was wondering who L2128516 was.

Scotty forever. It's so bad. It's so bad. I only follow myself and I like all my photos so everyone knows it's me. That is amazing. I'm not going to add fake pictures. I just want to follow porn stars and hot guys and, like, hot guys on Insta.

Who's a hot porn star guy to follow? Oh, my God. This guy, Alex Stein. He, like, has an OnlyFans. He's so buff and hot and dirty and Australian. Wait, why can't you date him? Because he's straight. He's married with kids.

They're always straight till they're not, Scotty. Challenge accepted. He hasn't been filmed on camera having sex with a guy he just is like jerks off on camera do you know what i mean but he's still hot and like talks dirty how did we go how did this show get to this point well there was something that wrote in and was concerned about the f word they said that if it continued they were done i'm the the effort's gonna happen this is who said that no i'm saying it i mean this this is probably just blown their fucking muffin top

right off their head yeah just a random just a random you can't please everyone there was jackie posted a photo this is like two weeks ago and this stupid troll wrote something fucked up and like there's always one oh fuck him up There's always one person that has something negative to say on my on my Instagram, too. There's always just that one person that I love it. Me, too. I love it. Keeps me young. I finally had one paparazzi shot and I posted it and a person wrote, who are you?

Do you clean the Kardashians houses? I'm like, bitch, if you said Kardashian, you know who I am because you're just coming for me. You're connecting the dots. So stay in your fucking lane. I liked it and just put an angel. Was that a picture of you in that all black with the beanie? Yeah. You look good there. Thank you. What's the paparazzi shot? El Paseo. You don't

follow me on Instagram? Are you kidding? I comment on every single thing you do. I know. I love us. Wait, so you went to El Paseo knowing you were going to get a paparazzi shot? Yeah, because that's like the main spot to get photographed in. I didn't know that. I thought it was the Ivy. No. Can you give us the downtown of LA? As she has her bag of takeout

El Paseo lunch. Artichoke salad, no arugula. Oh, I get the vegetariana with shrimp. No onion. Ooh, gotta try that. It's really good. It's like grilled vegetables, but they chill them after, so it's like yummy. Like, it's really good. Do you know Mossimo?

I don't know anyone's name, but I'm good with faces. The bartender? Is he the hot one that has like the beard? He's a little older song. I want to know what your gauge of hot is. I'm starting to wonder. Tall. Tall.

So like my. So like. Has a face. So my ugly hot would be, who is an ugly hot guy? I don't know his name. Oh, you know who I ugly hot? Who? Tony Soprano.

OK, that's weird. Totally. No. 100%. That is so not at all what I thought you were going to say. Big daddy. I think Tony Soprano is so hot. I can kind of get that.

He's just like, I don't know. There's something about him. He's got a very manly quality about him. Very masculine. Yeah, with his big, fat cigar. And in his pool with his huge gut hanging out on his floaty. Gangster, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like, fucking bitches.

I like fat men. Yeah. I do. There's something safe about it. I would have sex with Al Pacino now. Oh, yeah. From like, even from Scarface. Michael, who's your ugly heart?

Let me ask you this, Scott. This is probably a better question to ask you. Let's change this on to Michael. Who would you not have sex with? I think the list is a lot smaller. Women. There you go. Would you ever?

I haven't. I kissed a girl in seventh grade and I was like, this isn't for me. Really? How do you know? You've never tried it? My friend showed me her like pussy piercing and I was like, this isn't for me. Really? How do you know? You've never tried it? My friend showed me her, like, pussy piercing and I was like, okay. You would never? No.

No. What if you closed your eyes? No. I'm the bottom. Like, I'm the girl. So, like, I could scissor. I could be a lesbian. You can't try it once?

If there was, like, a really masculine. Do it for your podcast. If there was, like, a masculine, like, lesbian, lesbian, then like if she wanted to cuddle, I guess I could, but I don't know. Huh. Yeah, I definitely need the dick. Taylor or a girl? What?

Taylor or a girl? Taylor. Behind us. Oh. Quagmire. Right here. Oh my God. Taylor.

Two roses in, it's fine. Taylor. Michael, who's your type? Yeah, Michael. Well, tall. They have a face. OK. No, I don't know.

I don't know if I have a type. Who's your ugly, hot celebrity? Hmm. Ugly, hot celebrity. I don't know. You're probably like, don't objectify women. Get over yourselves. Wait, what do you mean?

What's an ugly, hot celebrity? Like Tony Soprano. Oh, shit, I don't know. You know, I don't know. I don't really put a lot of thought in that. I've kind of closed that part of my mind up. Okay, let's talk about this. Michael is turned in to an 85-year-old man.

He is in bed at 9 o'clock. He's asleep by 9.30. He wakes up at 5. He works on it at 5.30. And then and then by 6 30 he's counted his calories and he feeds the dogs and he goes off to work with his briefcase at 9 yeah well these i got you type of personalities i gotta like make sure shit's going on here he's gonna wrangle the herd that's true i'm down with a herd wrangler you know what no i think i i feel like i've done what i need to do in terms of like the late nights they'll be once in a while. Really?

I mean, listen, if I go somewhere. But I mean, what am I doing? Running around? You guys are actually similar like that. You guys do. You're in bed. You're in bed, yeah. Oh.

Jackie's. You know what? Jackie's always up early. I know she's posting up super early and things are going on. I'm up at six. Yeah. Always. I was up at six today.

If I woke up at six, I would look like a pig. OK. So you and Andrew are the same. Because Andrew cannot wait. I mean, to wake up at like 1030, he look like a pig. Okay, so you and Andrew are the same because Andrew cannot wait. I mean, to wake up at like 10.30, he needs like 12 alarms. It's disgusting. 10.30 in the morning. Yeah, in the morning.

Okay, but in Andrew's defense, he is such a creative, so his brain is probably going until late. He works really late. He starts late. He works late, but yes. I mean, he wakes up at 10. Like, he's like, 6 a.m., he's never seen the light. Why do you want to wake up at 6 a.m.? Like, give me the reasons.

Some people are morning people. I'm a morning person. I'm on the decline from 6 a.m. I'm just on a downward decline. But what is the appeal? Like, I don't, like, what are you doing at 6 a.m.? Like, moving around? Andrew's asleep, so there's that.

So he's comatose, which is fucking fantastic. Do I have to stop saying the F word? No. I mean, you're on our show. We've said the F word forever. Skinny, confidential, fucking him and her. OK, good. You should change the name.

I love that. Yeah, I'm just a morning person. I go to sleep at 9. Yeah, it's better. You guys aren't answering my question of what you guys do at 6 and 5. 6 a.m., yes. I don't want you to know what are you doing it's similar it's similar to what she just said i have basically i come in here i'm here

at nine so i have four hours before i see or have to talk to anyone private time yeah that's what nicole richie said but listen here's the deal honestly if you really want to know i'm up i can work out i can do my shit nobody's bothering me for four hours and also I don't see anything productive that I'm like, listen, if I start sending everybody I work with messages at midnight or one, they're like, what is this freak doing? Well, I have sad. True. OK. I have seasonal depression.

So I don't like to wake up when it's dark out because it makes me depressed. I get that. Yeah. It feels like. It's weird. It feels like. It's like, how are you motivated? Dark and gothic.

I didn't walk out for a week in the rain. No, I feel that. You know what I had to do, though, Scotty? Because I go to the Equinox right now. I had to get up a little bit earlier. It wasn't so popular. That place gets a little intense in there. Michael gets hit on a lot there.

Can you talk about that? I learned about the headphone rules. What's the headphone rule? I don't go to the gym. I only do classes. Well, someone told me that, like, listen, if you wear the headphones, then you'll be left alone. If you don't, then it's like, people come in.

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. You're totally gym type. What the fuck does that mean? It's like, it doesn't matter. Straight, gay, whatever. They're coming for you. If they're hot and at the gym, you just talk to them.

Michael does get a lot of looks. Yeah, 100%. Really? Yes. Oh, he loves this conversation. Michael's glowing. No, here's the thing. I actually think it would be, sometimes I wish that I was into men because I wouldn't have

to, like, women are difficult. I swear to God. What are you talking about? I don't think I'm that difficult. I just don't have it. I don't know what you're talking about. I just don't have it. You know?

Yeah. I'm sorry. I would love for this to work, but it just, I just don't have it. He says that to my friend Steve all the time. He like really sincerely wishes that he wasn't into women. Steve who? You have another guy? Yeah.

Who? He's a daddy. Who? Here, I'll show you a picture of him. I thought, no, you were going to set him up. But no, seriously, women. Who? He's a daddy. Who? Here, I'll show you a picture of him. I thought you were going to set him up. But no, seriously, women are difficult. He's a salt and pepper. Salt and pepper from San Diego.

No. I know him from San Diego, yes. OK, OK. He's pretty cute. I think he tried to set me up. He's smart. He's older, though. I'm down.

Older's great. I've seen his text. Why are you whispering? Listen. I accidentally. I accidentally. Yeah, sure, Lauren. Took his phone to use it for a text and opened Grindr and looked at all the messages.

You can never take a gay man's phone and open the, this. That's the like, girls love to open the Grindr. Oh, it's so fun. I know. It's really fun. The veins. That's why Grind grinder is so successful. By the way, we're in the grinder building.

Is this the grinder building? Yes. They have an office here. How do you grind if one wants to grind? Okay. This is getting absurd. So before we get into that fun plot twist, let's talk about FabFitFun. So it's so funny because the other day I was working out and I heard a bunch of these hotties and their sassy workout gear talking about their favorite package to get in

the mail. And it was actually FabFitFun. I was being so nosy and eavesdropping. Anyway, this is absolutely no surprise at all because the box is filled top to bottom with so many gems and they're full size gems. They have like fashion and beauty and all this stuff that you want displayed on your vanity. It's really good stuff, guys. So FabFitFun has a simple mission. They allow women everywhere to discover new products while including must-have brands that you know and love. This came in handy when I was looking for a gift for a friend's birthday. I ordered her the box as a gift and she became obsessed. So what she does is she like texts me pictures of the products with reviews over text. And then she sends me videos of her using the products. This is such a cute interactive gift and it's extra fun because

I get the box at the same time. So we compare notes. I mean, it's like Christmas four times a year. You know what I mean? So to break it down for you guys, FabFitFun is a seasonal subscription box delivered four times a year with full-size beauty, fashion, home, fitness, and wellness products for just $49.99 a box. Crazy. Full-size products too. Sign up for FabFitFun today. These boxes always sell out. Use my code TSC to get $10 off your first box. Go to fabfitfun.com to sign up and start getting the box for a life well lived. Use promo code TSC to get $10 off your first box. That's over $200 for only $39.99. Go to fabfitfun.com and use code TSC to get $10 off the FabFitFun first box. You just open the app.

That's it. And it says you're like, and then you get like a million texts right away. As soon as you're on zero feet away. What are you doing? What's happening? What's going on? Is it your face in it or is it just your penis? Yeah, of course. No. Face, ass, everything. No, I do full face and body. Like what am I hiding? Can I have like a one peek into the Grindr situation? Oh my god, 100%.

A.K.A. give me your phone and I have to go to the bathroom. I just met, I just met And so do I. I just met a really cute guy that was staying at the hotel right next door to me. I want to see what you think is really cute. Oh my God. This is so shady. So I have a second phone that's like my dirty phone, a porn and grinder, and it's not on

this phone. So I can't show it to you. You don't have one penis pic for me of anyone? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, just show us something. Is that Kid Harrington on the back of your phone? Yeah, I'm obsessed with him.

Who's that? It's the guy from Game of Thrones. Game of Thrones. Oh, okay. Yeah, just show us something. Is that Kid Harrington on the back of your phone? Yeah, I'm obsessed with him. Who's that? It's the guy from Game of Thrones. Game of Thrones. Oh, he got a little shady. Did you see that Daily Mail article? What happened? He's cheating on his wife? No.

Wait, didn't they just get married? Yes. You know what I do when I see a cheaty article like this? It works so well. Give it to me. I love this. I forward it to Michael, and I say, look what happens when you're in the public eye,

and you cheat. He's hot. He's all right. You know what's not hot? When you don't talk close to the mic. Oh, God. Sorry. I had a...

Sorry. I was too busy looking for dick pics. Can you have a sip of rosé? I almost... No, I'm going to watch. No, you have it. I'll have a sip. I don't want to have a sip.

Let's watch him. And put it down. First of all, can we talk about... Swallow watching the throat, and it's down. God. Don't do the fake cough. Okay, this is my dad friend, but it's not a dick pic, but he's so hot. Oh.

Oh, it's- Oh, my. Oh, we're going all over the place with our type. She is sunburned. Hold on, is that your type? No, Runyon, Runyon. Oh, Runyon. Can I see a little closer?

No. Hold. Can I see a little closer? No. Hold. Let me see. Like, is that your type? Just so I can get a... Yeah, he's tall and has a face. Yeah. No, he's really hot and fit.

I mean, it could be a little bigger. Michael's is bigger than that. No, it's perfect. We don't have to get into this. Because you can marry it. It's like, you can marry it. You can do anything with it. Wait, what does you can marry it mean?

Like, if it's the perfect dick, you can marry it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, you marry me like if it's the perfect dick you can marry it oh yeah yeah you know what i mean like you marry the dick if it's so perfect like it's not too big not too long like i had a micro once i can't do a micro me too me too you're you're trying to whisper in with 50 mics around i can't say this one thing on there but i a micro is like like a pinky like an actual micro oh no no I had an, yes, yes. It was like a baby carrot chopped in half. Like, I love it. A baby carrot?

Terrible. A baby carrot. Oh. Okay. Like, not like, oh, that's cute. That's small. This is my type. This kid Harrington, yeah.

And then I Googled it because I'm like, am I crazy? And there's 20 articles on it. He looks fragile to me. Emotionally. I've noticed that I like a little bit shorter. I don't like't like super tall i like a little shorter why are you looking directly at me god damn it i like a like a like a buff i'm not that i'm not tall but i'm like what's what five ten is not too short five ten is that normal that's not tall ass i've ever seen in my life how do you keep having a side conversation? His ass is like.

Oh, your husband? Yeah. This is getting. This is the thing. I delete all my dick pics because my clients go through my phone. And so I can't have my asshole pic on it or my dick pic. Like I. Yeah.

Do people do that? Yes. Really? How does one. Like I know how to take a selfie. I can tell you about my diva light. Like what angle to go at. how does one take an asshole pic? Literally I'm clenching as you're talking about this.

Yeah, listen, I've made it through 32 years of life. Maybe that should be your podcast picture with like an emoji covering the butt. Like your face. No, I want it to be glam. You want it to be glam? Yeah, I want it to be glam. So we can't do an asshole pic? I've gone through 32 years with not knowing how to do that. And I think we're just going to keep it that way.

You would be an ass model, though. Like, if you needed to be a model, you would. Times got tough. You could totally be an anime model. Yeah. Well, thank you. He walks down after he works out. This is a fun fact about him.

No, we don't need to turn this into me. After he works out, he will walk downstairs without a shirt on. And, like, it's a slight flex. It's the slightest little slightest. And I'll be like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm working out like I do every single morning. I'm wondering if there's an opportunity there. No, you're not.

You're just trying to show off that you just worked out. It's the after pump horniness. And then what about his late night? He's been going on our rug and doing push-ups? Right in front of the TV? Yeah, 100%. Well, no, I'll tell you why. That's because we have only hard floors all over the place, and so I have to do my sit-ups.

Get a towel. Go to the gym. I do go to the gym. It's my second part. You do two a day. That's dedication. Wow. He does have dedication.

Like, tell us about your morning routine. No, we're not talking about me. Yeah, tell us. Come on. I like to just work out a little bit here and there You know you have a whole love how type a you are Michael. I am type a that's for sure Yes, you are. What's your sign Aries? When's your birthday March 28th? Oh, I'm April 13th, but I'm still you're like the beginning of Aries I'm the middle which is like the worst part of Aries But you're like beginning and cute almost Pisces right which is like the worst part of Aries. But you're like beginning in Q. Almost Pisces, right? Which is like a little more chill. I feel like you're so chill for an Aries.

I like to not chill. Oh. You just put this on? Well, I have to be, no, but I think my dealings aren't pretty chill, but I have to do things to make myself chill. Does that make sense? Got it. Like if I don't do things, then I'll be a little bit ballistic.

I like that. I like that. Check the box. The reason, like you should thank me that I do these things in the morning, because if not, I'd be way too turbo. Does that make sense? So about four hours, five to nine, I get it all out. You know what he says always to make everyone feel bad around him?

He says, I just can't help it that my brain thinks faster than everyone else's. No, I never say that. Literally, Michael, I say the same exact thing to Andrew all the time. Your brain does think faster than everyone else's. That's definitely not true. But if you keep telling people that, they believe it. I'm not saying it's not true for you, Michael, but for me's it's a thing. No, it's not that I don't think that I talk fast sometimes so I get in trouble

Hi, have we met? We've met and yeah, so I just say listen you got to keep up, you know Yeah, exactly. I'm not gonna slow down. No, no, no never. Why? Fuck that buttercup. You guys want him to not slow down because of dear media But I need him to slow down when he gets home. I get that. You should have a minute for unwinding. I'm unwinding. Let's do an intervention, all three of us on him right now.

That'd be so fun. You definitely have to. It doesn't have to be meditation. I'm sweating here now. He's shvitzing. Oh, my god. Shirt off. I guess shirt off.

Shirt off. He took off his leather jacket. Let's see the ass. Cue the diva light. Taylor, get my diva light from my asshole pic real quick. American Idol assholes. I've actually heard from multiple girls that my ass is one of my best features. Okay.

Hey, Taylor. Scotty, let's get a ruling. I never noticed it. I've never even checked you out. I'm just more concerned about your horrible man buns. I call him Rooney Mara Cause you know Rooney Mara Like there's this one photo of her on a red carpet

I don't know if it was the salad or can When she was like the low pony Straight up I love you Taylor I said this to your face Rooney Mara vibes I'm only calling him Rooney from now on Thank you Roons

Show your ass Rooney Give it to us. Do you like sex toys? Is there any that you love? Any. Tell us some ones that we don't know about. Cock rings. Do you know about cock rings?

Yeah. Okay, fine. Move on. I mean, there's like, I mean, there's this like, okay. Oh, uh-oh. do you want to know? No, a hundred percent. So there's this thing called like the prostate healer. So it's like, hold on to me.

Amazon that. It's really great. It's like ceramic. So it's like easy to wash and like super cute. You can get lube off of it. It's not like, you know, like I feel with plastic, I feel dirty. So I always have to throw them away. I hate, sometimes with dildos, you have to throw them away.

I don't feel like they're clean. So this is actually ceramic. Where do you have to put the dildo? Because you already have two in the mix. You only have so many holes. Yeah, explain this to people. Oh, I was just talking about by myself. Oh, okay. Gotcha. How did we, again, I was just talking about by myself. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, OK, OK. Gotcha.

How did I, how did we, again, I don't know how we got here. We never left. Me and Michael have like a 40-inch dildo that's pink that we hide in each other's stuff. It's a really cute game to play. Like, it's romantic. I actually don't know where the hell that is. Ah, that's because I hid it. It's been hidden for a long time.

Like, you hide it in like, I want to hide it in his briefcase. So we like open it up a little. She tries to put it in my bag. That is so funny.. You hide it in like, I want to hide it in his briefcase. So he like opens it up a lot. She tries to put it in my bag. That is so funny. Before I go to the airport, she tries to put it in my bag. That is so funny. She's anal though about it. Literally.

Literally too anal. I have a suction cup dildo that I got from my bachelorette that is this big, humongous black dick that you can just stick it on a wall. So you stick it and then you like put your brain on it? I mean, I would never, but I have it. And it's like the sisterhood of the traveling big black dildo. So it's been re-gifted like 84 times to all of my friends and cousins and whatever. I bet you one of them has used it.

No. You never know. You never know. I don't think so. You never know. I would not put it past anyone. I mean, I'm the holder of it right now. So I'm being really skillful about who I give it to.

But like my housekeeper found it. And it's's been this really awkward, silent tension that we have. Because I just put it under the bed because I was like, what the fuck? And then she found it, and then she put it in my closet. She put it in a Gucci shoebox. Wrapped it up. So awkward because she thinks that that's just a recreational thing I have. She doesn't know the backstory. And we have a language barrier.

I can't explain it to her. So we just have this silent acknowledgment that I have a huge, big, black dick that sticks to a fucking wall in my closet. And we don't talk about it. If it's the sisterhood of the traveling dildo, you should give it to Scotty. I'm sure someone's used it.

I'm going to give it to you. Someone has definitely used it. Let's stick it right under Dear Media. I don't think anybody's. I really don't think. Are you sure? Because just the way that it's presented to everybody, it's very like it's not like, oh, here you go. It's like, you know, it's been it's been all around the world, you know, but not inside of anybody.

I'm going to give it to you. It's a welcome gift to Dear Media. Taylor, have you ever used any sex toys? I mean, I haven't, but I had an ex-girlfriend that loved them. Oh, tell her. Did she use them on you or did she use them on her? No, his ex-girlfriend. Which one was her favorite?

It was the one that looks like a potato masher. I'll show you. Ew. No, it actually wasn't a sex toy. It's high powered. It's something that you would see if you were going to one of those. It's one of those neck massagers. It's a neck massager. Oh.

That's not that edgy. A potato masher. I'm thinking something like an electrical, like a catapult. Like a butter turner. I thought it was like a fuck machine that was like, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. You know like a potato masher? It's like, what the fuck? Okay, let's switch the subject.

Here, hold on. I'm going to bring up an image of it. I can't think of Taylor with a potato masher anymore. No, Taylor wasn't using the potato masher. His ex-girlfriend was. On you? No, on herself. No, she was using it on herself.

That's it. Oh, that is not. That looks like a. That is a massager. No, what's the sex toy that you just gave me the other day, Michael, that's pink that looks like that? I think it's actually called a wand. Yeah, it's called a wand.

You know what I love? The more you know, guys. Cue the rainbow. It's like a whole new world. Oh my god. Oh, it's only $54? Wow. It's got one star. Oh, bad.

They haven't used it for the right thing. Google ceramic prostate healer that's horrible heaven okay so you were on to changing the subject what were you going to change i know now that i i didn't know we had entertainment like now i'm obsessed with googling everything okay so here's a question that we always get asked from our audience and this is a question for scotty and jackie And Michael, feel free to add anything. I don't think I'm, I don't know if I, I'm pretty traumatized right now.

You don't know what to do. Michael doesn't know what to do. How do couples that have been together for such a long time keep it spicy? Oh, wow. Not just sexual, I'm talking about like, it could be anything from like adding a date night, like anything.

I have a lot, I'm single. So. Don't say. I usually, I'm with the couple. Ooh. Are you pitching yourself to be added in? Is that what, was that just? No. You're always the guest star. Like never like, you know, like.

Well, I mean, as a married woman. So I'm always on the other end. Like I'm the couple, like when the couple's like looking for fun, I'm the one that's involved. So me and Andrew will call you in, like, a couple years. Yes. I think you have to do date nights. I think you have to, like, look good, feel good. I think you should be advancing in your life all the time together and separately.

I think there should be your lives together and your relationship should be on an incline where you're trying to do things together and separately to expand what you're able to do. I think you should travel together. I think you should have activities that you do together. I think you should have great friends that you can travel with, that you can go out with. Don't be a boring fuck of a human. Stay interesting. Have hobbies.

Get your shit together. Be cool. Don't be a nightmare. put some fucking lip gloss on when your husband comes home vice versa michael you know slick the hair back like you're doing on a regular basis this will stay one of my best girlfriends who's married for like 10 years fucked him in the bathroom at a restaurant so like fuck in the bathroom do weird shit do weird shit still together yeah jack Jackie just added so much value. I think that you can exist together but independently.

Yes. It's very attractive. Yes. It's really attractive when you're doing well separately and together as a couple and you're able to do things together that are fun and exciting and you're on the up and up. And you know, just don't let it go so when you say that you are added to a couple is this a girl and boy couple or a boy like gay couples got it okay yeah i would never share my partner but i don't mind being the guest star what does the guest

star role entail just like like for fun like a threesome like the guest star like no we need specifics i don't know like you can't just Like, the guest star. No, we need specifics. I don't know. Like, you can't just glaze over the guest star. I would stab my husband if he asked for a threesome. I would literally stab him. I know. That's the thing. I'm the same way, because I'm so, like, an only child.

Aerie is, like, crazy. I would die. I'm so obsessed. Like, I would never let anyone. I mean, I say that now, but, like, when it comes down to it, we're all guys. Right. Listen. You'd fuck a homeless man, okay?

We established that 45 minutes ago. Yeah. And if they, like, have a big dick, it, we're all guys. Right. Listen. You'd fuck a homeless man, okay? We established that 45 minutes ago. Yeah, and if they, like, have a big dick, it's like, okay. Done. It's like, oh, marriage. Sorry, husband. Oh, my God. No, you're my husband. You just were so hard on, like, a certain point, and you just got, you talked yourself

off of that point so quickly. It's Jackie's fault. I do this. She literally just came for me and was like and i was like you're right if you had to have sex with a girl yes what does she look like blonde blonde big boobs she has a podcast like if you have like right now gun to your head you have have to. Is it, like, more Kardashian? No. Or is it, like... I think it's a masculine woman.

Yeah. I think it's, like... Like, Helga. Wait, who's the girl in Matilda? No. Ew! It's a principal trunch. What's her name?

What's her name? What's her name? She was in Fifth Element. I can't. Oh, my God. What's her name? She was in Fifth Element. No can't. Oh, my God. What's her name? She was in Fifth Element. No, we don't know her name.

I don't know. You lost me on that reference. But, like, very strong jaw. Helga who cuts the wood at home. I'm talking about Mia Jovovich. Yes. Yes. Whoa.

Mia Jovovich. Oh, she's like a supermodel. Yes. She gave me my first erection in the movies. Oh, God. You're done. Cut yourself off. Bye, Taylor. Cut the feed.. She gave me my first erection in the movies. Oh, God. We're done. Cut yourself off.

Cut the mic. Cut the feed. I'm glad you got an erection. Okay. Before we go, give our audience, both of you, a sexy tip. It doesn't have to be. Another one? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm fucking plum out.

Wax your butthole. Oh, by the way, laser your butthole. Do you laser your butthole? I can't. I have lasered my butthole oh by the way laser your butthole do you laser your butthole i can't i have lasered my butthole i've lasered everything i can't do the laser that's why i wax or like nail michael said i need to laser because i have like a mustache sometimes do i need to laser laser is less painful than waxing hold on who's the girl you go to do i have to drive to calabasas yes like what's the situation with that oh it's great it's five minutes in and out how much is it it's uh like not that expensive michael's paying for it because it's his problem it's not that expensive wait your mustache or your butthole

my mustache i'll pay for all of it my butthole's good no you can leave should i should i bleach my butthole i want to i've done that to do. Just take a little fucking, what is it, Clorox? Jolene. No, Michael. Jolene. This has been interesting. Jolene, remember the mustache bleacher? No. What the fuck are you talking about? Oh, man, I'm so old.

Jolene, it's like the mustache bleacher. I'm like Dolly Parton, Jolene, Miley Cyrus cover. What are you talking about? Okay. Guys, thank you so much for tuning into our super valuable, informative, intellectual. And if any of you homeless people out there are listening to this show, Scotty is available. I'll be on Samus Sunday outside of PDC.

Michael's going to jump out the window right now. Cruising PDC. I'm cruising PDC Sunday. Thanks for coming on. Oh, put your Instagram handle and all the stuff and all the podcasts. Pimp yourself out. Go ahead, Scotty. Please follow me at the Scotty Cunha. T H E S C O T T Y C U N H A.

Thank you. Okay. And I'm doing this for you, Michael at Jackie Schimmel, S C H I M M Mary Mary E L. And also I have a podcast that comes out on Tuesdays with dear media called the bitch Bible, which is epic. I was on it. Go listen to them too. That was a really good episode. I loved it.

Just follow her on Instagram, you guys. All right. Thank you. Bye. Ciao. Well, I'm sure you guys are exhausted from laughing. That was quite the episode. We will do more with Jackie and Scotty soon to win a new glittery pink TSC pop socket. Tell us your favorite part of that episode on my latest Instagram at the skinny confidential. We will be back next week. As always, thank you so much for rating, reviewing, and subscribing to the podcast. And of course, follow us on Instagram at TSC podcast. This episode is brought to you by a ritual. You guys know I'm a human Guinea pig and I'm still here at taking ritual and loving it. Okay. It's filled with iron,

vitamin E, magnesium, folate, and omega-3 kind of everything. It's made in the USA without synthetic fillers. 95% of women do not get the vitamins and minerals they need on a daily basis. So ritual created a smarter vitamin with the nine essential ingredients women lack most. Go to ritual.com slash skinny today to choose clean ingredients backed by science. Sign up now at ritual.com slash skinny.