The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Jesse Itzler On How To Achieve Personal Goals Constantly, Stay Motivated, & Plan Your Entire Year Effectively

Episode Date: January 8, 2024

#644: Today, we're joined by Jesse Itzler. Jesse Itzler's remarkable journey is defined by taking an unconventional approach. An Emmy-award winning artist, New York Times bestselling author, part-owne...r of the Atlanta Hawks, ultramarathon runner, and exceptional husband, father, and businessman, he has mastered the art of success. Today, we sit down for a conversation surrounding how to lead a successful life, shift your 2024 mindset, and maintain motivation to achieve your goals. We also dive into goal-setting, the importance of failing as a pathway to success, and how to ignite your inner drive.   To connect with Jesse Itzler click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts Bosstick click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE To subscribe to our YouTube Page click HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential. Tune in to the Morning Quickie HERE. This episode is brought to you by Dreamland Baby Use code SKINNY at checkout for 20% off sitewide & free shipping at dreamlandbabyco.com This episode is brought to you by Ritual Start a daily ritual that you can feel good about. Visit ritual.com/SKINNY to receive 40% off your first month of Ritual. This episode is brought to you by The Farmer's Dog It's never been easier to invest in your dog's health with fresh food. Get 50% off your first box & free shipping by going to thefarmersdog.com/skinny This episode is brought to you by Hinge Hinge is the dating app designed to be deleted. Download Hinge today & find someone worth deleting the app for. This episode is brought to you by Thrive Market Thrive Market is the go-to for all of your grocery and household essentials- and it's all conveniently delivered to your doorstep. Get 30% off your first order, plus a free $60 gift at thrivemarket.com/skinny or use code SKINNY at checkout. This episode is brought to you by Kroma Use code SKINNY at kromawellness.com to get 15% off + free shipping on a 5 day reset Produced by Dear Media

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 The following podcast is a Dear Media production. still relevant today. We have such a strong back catalog and we had the team compile all the best moments. So if you need that reminder on how to be better, how to live better, how to feel better, check out the morning quickie delivered straight to wherever you get your podcast, both video and audio formats on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts. So check it out. Make sure you're not confused. This is a completely separate podcast called the morning quickie. Go check it out. Follow, subscribe, would love a review. you feel compelled to do so. Check it out, The Morning Quickie. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie.
Starting point is 00:00:56 And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her. I'm not good at a lot of things, but I am good at relationships. And I found that when you build, especially in your 20s and your 30s, it never ends. But that's the time where you have the most flexibility to build a network and say yes to everything. Like I'm in my 50s, I say no to mostly everything. But in my 20s, I said yes to as many things as I can because I wanted to put myself in a situation where I could get lucky. Luck doesn't happen sitting home watching the Kardashians.
Starting point is 00:01:36 It happens when you go somewhere where the universe can reward you. And then you got to be good at whatever you do. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to The Him and Her Show, kicking off the New Year's with another very strong episode, Jesse Itzler. Jesse has to be one of the most highly requested guests on this show. I'm surprised it took so long to do this with him, but I'm also very glad that it did take this long because this is an incredible episode. So many people had recommended having Jesse come on the show. Jesse is an Emmy Award winning artist, a New York Times bestselling author.
Starting point is 00:02:06 He's part owner of the Atlanta Hawks. He's an ultra marathon runner, an exceptional husband, father, businessman. He has mastered the art of success. He's married to Sarah Blakely as well. He's got four children. And he's just someone that both Lauren and I really look up to. For years, we had spoken at so many different events with Jesse and we'd kind of crossed paths, but we never had the ability to get him on the show. Then one day he reached out and he said,
Starting point is 00:02:27 hey, I'm coming to Austin. We invited him over to the house. I tried to cook him in our sauna. I tried to freeze him in our ice bath and he continued to persevere and then did the show right after. We ended up talking for almost two hours on and off air. And like I said, I think this is an incredible episode to start the new year. Anyone that wants to feel better, they want to perform, they want to be inspired, they just want to be all around better, this episode's for you. Jesse Itzler, welcome to the Skinny Confidential Him and Her Show. This is the Skinny Confidential Him and Her. We almost melted you before you even got on the show. That was, I got to say, maybe the hottest on a session that we've ever done.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Because normally we start cold and then we warm up. That was a different level. Do you guys keep an attorney at your house? Because like, I mean, it was so hot. You could get sued for that. Well, no, Jesse came to the house and he's like, listen, you need a pool gate here. You need a fire extinguisher here.
Starting point is 00:03:21 These guys up on the ladder. So no, I'm just going to keep you around. I've been a dad for 15 years. So I'm looking at houses differently than some of your guests. By the way, you guys need a fire extinguisher by your sauna immediately. Do you actually? Yes. He was leaving. He's like, listen, put the fire extinguisher. I'm going to put a checklist together for you guys. I also want to switch my sauna because of Jesse to a wood burning sauna instead of an electric.
Starting point is 00:03:46 What's your sauna protocol? If someone's listening, what's your, what's your ice bath sauna, Jesse Itzler protocol. So it's a big part of my life because I love the way that it makes me feel, but I like to go in the sauna first for like 20 minutes. And then I'll go in the cold plunge for like two minutes, half of you, Lauren, half of you, you're a four minute person. And then I'll do that like two times, two or three times. And that's usually about a 45 minute session total. You are so productive. Like that's how I would describe you as a person. What things do you do on a daily basis that support you being this productive? Well, you know, I don't dilly dally anymore. So I have four children, you know, I have a, I have businesses. My wife has her business. Obviously she had Spanx for 20 plus years. So as you get older and you evolve, your life system has to evolve. So like when I
Starting point is 00:04:39 first started out in business, I was working 20 hours. I was eating dinner at 11 o'clock and now I eat dinner at 5.30. So you have to change your day-to-day system as you evolve. So my life looks way different at 55 than it looked when I was 37. And for me, it's really important that I do things every day that I love to do. I have to check the Jesse box because if I don't do that and someone takes that away from me, if my wife says, you can't run right now, we have to do this, or I'm going to resent her.
Starting point is 00:05:11 I'm going to resent my boss or my team or whatever. So I really prioritize me every day and make sure that I do a couple of things that I like every day. And sauna and cold plunging is one. Playing with my kids, all those things are really important to me. So I make sure that I do that every day.
Starting point is 00:05:30 You know, it's interesting. We have so many high performers, including yourself on the show. And what we try to do is we try to extrapolate the information for the audience to apply that tactic or advice to their own life. But as you were just talking, and as we were talking in the sauna, I was thinking like, you're so right about iterating your life as you go on. And I think about how I used to operate in my early twenties until even like my, you know, early thirties before I had children, when we were first starting out and compared to how I operate now. And I'm still like, I think we're still really in it. We're still young, but I'd be lying if I said it's the same kind of grind that it was when I was in my early 20s. And so I think what's interesting when you talk is people will listen to someone like yourself
Starting point is 00:06:13 on stage or they'll listen to you talk on a podcast like this and like, oh, I'm going to do what Jesse does. But I wonder when you're giving advice to say that 25 year old Jesse, would you change the way you operated then and say to operate the way you do now? Or would you do what you did at that point? Do you get what I'm saying? I think the greatest gift I gave to myself in my 20s is that I lived my 20s. I was 20. A lot of my friends lost their 20s chasing work or trying to get promoted or whatever. And you're 20, you're going to make four, you'll make 10 times as much money, not everybody, but most people listening in their 40s and 50s than they will in their 20s and 30s, because
Starting point is 00:06:53 you're going to learn from your mistakes. You're going to have a bigger network. You're going to be better at whatever it is you're doing. You're going to be really good. You might not be really good, and you'll be really good in your 30s and 40ies. You can monetize it then. So I'm really glad that I got to try different things in my twenties and figure it out. Like, what am I good at? What do I like to do? What am I passionate about? What don't I like to do? What am I not good at? So when I look back on it, look, it worked out pretty well for me, but that was the best gift that I gave to myself. Like I didn't worry about the fact that other people were on wall street, making a lot more money than me. And I was sleeping on my friend's couches trying to figure out businesses that were failing. How do I make that work? Because at the end of the day, I'm
Starting point is 00:07:36 playing the long game. And I wasn't worried about, oh, so-and-so is making this or doing this, and I'm only here. It's easy to compare. You never win when you compare yourself to someone else. There's always going to be someone better or making more money. So I never had that. I was really like comfortable. I think if you're in your 20s, it's really important to believe in the end of your story.
Starting point is 00:07:57 You have to believe he or she's out there. You have to believe that you're going to be a millionaire. So I used to walk into my office, but my journey was really interesting. I had a very unconventional journey as an entrepreneur. And in my, between the ages of 18 to 22, I slept on like really like 18 different couches. My friends, I wasn't like homeless, but my friends were putting me up couch to couch to couch. And I remember walking into my office at like 20 and turning to my partner and saying to him, like, we're millionaires. They just haven't
Starting point is 00:08:28 paid us yet. And like, I believe that I knew that was coming for me. And I think that that conviction is really important early on in your journey. Like how you talk to yourself in your twenties creates an environment of what you will become in your 30s and 40s. I really believe that. Who taught you to think like that? You mentioned we were talking before when we got out of the sauna, your father. Was it your dad that taught you that? Was it a friend?
Starting point is 00:08:53 That young, how did you start thinking like that? Well, it's interesting because my father owned the plumbing supply house and we never talked about money. I mean, he, he definitely breathed a lot of confidence and self-esteem and love into me, which was the great, which is amazing. But like, we never talked about money. I didn't know anything. Like, you know, I never met like my first real millionaire. I met, I was like 22 years old. I couldn't believe I knew someone that was a million. I'm like, Steve Starker is a millionaire. I'm like, come rub your elbow next to me, man. I need some of that. My dad didn't give me business lessons, but he gave me a lot of, you can try everything,
Starting point is 00:09:37 wisdom, and it's okay to fail and those kinds of messages. And that was important to me. I don't know. Look, I think that everybody is born with a baseline of messages. And that was important to me. I don't know. Like, I just, look, I think that everybody is born with a baseline of grit. They say that grit's like the number one indicator of future success. If we all raise grittier kids, there's a better chance they'd be successful. And when you do things that are challenging,
Starting point is 00:09:59 you take your baseline up. Even just what we just did in the sauna, as crazy as it sounds, we all wanted to get out, but we all stayed in. I wanted to get out. out that sauna was intense but yeah i was okay no but like when you do those things you take your baseline up and it never goes back down so i was always doing those kind of things getting out of my comfort zone early yeah i think this is like i haven't articulated this well on the show but but I think the last time I had a job was McDonald's when I was in high school. And ever since then, I've worked for myself in some
Starting point is 00:10:33 form or another. And what I try to point out to maybe people that are not as far along on the entrepreneurial path and you're much further than me is that I've had so many punches in the nose in these last 16, 17 years that that grid has just slowly been built over time. And what I try to tell people is like, that's to me what those early years are for is like, take the punches, learn from your mistakes to have it all at that point. And looking back, I wish I would have enjoyed a little bit more in that quote unquote twenties than, you know, putting so much pressure on myself because I don't think to your point, you really, you need to get some of that experience and some of that grit before you can even start really being taken seriously as an entrepreneur. Does that make sense? Like, Oh, definitely. Like a lot. If I met a guy like you and you're like, Hey, I'm 22 years old and I'm ready to go,
Starting point is 00:11:25 you're like, hey, that's good, but you need more repetitions. And still so. And so I think what I try to point out to people now is that you have so much time. And if you can enjoy yourself a little bit more figuring out who you are in that 20 to 30 year period, I just think it's invaluable. You actually just reminded me of something I never thought about in my life ever. And it just came to me as like thinking about my dad and like what you asked a good question, like what was it? And you know, my dad was really comfortable being embarrassed. He was goofy. He was a goofy guy.
Starting point is 00:11:55 Like he would wear, like he would wear stuff that didn't fit in in my town. And he was like, he didn't care. And he taught his, myself, my brother and my two sisters that it's okay to be embarrassed. And I'll tell you, man, once you get over the fear of being embarrassed, it's so liberating. It's so ridiculously liberating. And I think that's really the difference maker for me. That I was okay getting thrown out of offices. I got thrown out of offices all the time.
Starting point is 00:12:22 I was okay with the word no. It didn't stop me from going until I got a yes. And that's been a theme in my life. My book got rejected by 14 publishers till number 15 gave me a chance. Every record company threw me out until like number 21, Delicious Vinyl signed me. I mean, it just goes on and on. And I think that comes from the, my dad and my mom just being like, it's okay if you get embarrassed or, or, you know, kicked down. And, and I think that's where it came from. Tell us the story of when you were kicked out of a building. Like, what do you mean? You got to give us a detail on that. I'm, I mean, it's, it's happened early in my journey,
Starting point is 00:13:05 I was selling carrot and celery sticks door to door in New York City. Amazing. Yeah. I was like, people like are too, they don't have time. This is like before Uber Eats. They don't have time to go out and get lunch.
Starting point is 00:13:15 Like I like carrot and celery sticks. Everybody probably likes carrot and celery sticks. I'm going to be the carrot and celery king. So I like went to the Korean deli. I got like all be the carrot and celery king. So I went to the Korean deli. I got all these different, I got all these carrots and I showed up at these offices and started selling them door to door, knocking on the door. That lasted a day. Then I sold t-shirts at Giant Stadium that I made up. I'm still banned from Giant Stadium. I was selling them illegally in the parking lot. I got thrown out of that.
Starting point is 00:13:45 Still to this day, you can't go there. I mean, I'm sure like I look different, but I'm sure I'm on a list. And even like as I got older at Marquee Jet, when I had this, which was a company that my partner and I started, when we had our first meeting at NetJets, which is the company that we ended up partnering with, our meeting went 12 minutes. They had 650 airplanes, private jets, and we wanted to use that fleet to create a company to sell a private jet card. They were the only game in town.
Starting point is 00:14:16 They say, no, there's no business. So we had to get a yes. And we got a meeting with the CEO and 11 minutes into the meeting, I was 28 years old, he literally looked at my partner and I, and he said, if you think I'm giving two 28-year-old kids who probably didn't break 1,000 on their SAT, which I got a 980 on my SAT, he said, piss me off. He's like, there's no chance, and he threw us out. And we ended up getting a follow-up meeting, and ultimately at that meeting convinced him
Starting point is 00:14:45 that our idea was valid. And that company went on to do $5 billion in sales. For the audience, if they don't know what that is, can you explain what kind of card you created? Yeah. So our idea was, could we make flying private more accessible and affordable to a bigger audience? So we created a 25-hour debit card. So basically,
Starting point is 00:15:07 it would be like you owned your own plane. Your plane would be ready on six-hour notice anywhere in the country. You would prepay for 25 hours. So let's say you paid 100 grand, you get 25 flight hours. And if you flew from Austin to Atlanta and it was a two-hour flight, you'd have 23 hours left. So you had all the benefits of owning your own airplane without having to own it. And then when the card was expired and you were out of hours, you could just buy another card. So you don't have to buy a plane, no pilots. We did all that. And the benefit to the person who owns that plane is they get to offset some of their costs by people booking time when they're not using it, right? No, the benefit of it was that they literally had, it was like they own their own private jet
Starting point is 00:15:44 without having to own it. No, no, I'm saying for the owner of that plane, they literally had, it was like they own their own private jet without having to own it. No, no. What I'm saying for the owner of that plane, they got to offset some of the costs that they would have to operate the plane. It was much cheaper. Much cheaper. Okay. So when you're coming up- It worked, by the way. No, yeah. When you're coming up and you're getting all of these no's, what's going through your mind to keep pushing forward? Because I think a lot of people, one, a lot of people have a fear of just getting started in the first place to your point. Maybe it's fear of rejection or they don't want to be embarrassed or
Starting point is 00:16:12 they're worried about what that says about them as a person. But as you're getting the no's, how are you motivating yourself to keep going? Because I think that's also important to talk about. Yeah. I think, well, just to take one step back, there's an art to saying no now. No is so important to us. We're busy. We have kids. We can't say yes to everything. So if you invite me out to dinner on Thursday night, first of all, I don't need to give you a reason why I can't go. A lot of people think they come up with an excuse like, Michael, thank you so much. I just can't make it on Thursday. You and a bunch of guys go out to dinner. Now, when you're at dinner, I'm having fun at my house. I'm playing. I'm going out on a date with Sarah, whatever I'm doing. I just call the host at the restaurant and say, hey, my friend Michael's there. I want to
Starting point is 00:17:01 buy them dessert and send them a note saying, hey guys, wish I could be there thinking of you guys. I'll get the next one. Dessert's on me. Drinks are on me. The meal's on me. And now everyone there is like, oh my God, this guy's not even here and he's thinking of us. I'm now the star. I turned a no into the star of the dinner. So there's an art to saying no, and I don't delegate that. If it's a big no, it's coming from me. It's not coming from my assistant or anyone else. A big no isn't getting delegated. So no is actually an opportunity to do amazing things. So that's for starters.
Starting point is 00:17:42 That's a good tip. Great tip. It's a good tip. And so I'm not scared. But what that did is it doesn't make me scared because no one wants to, I don't want to be like, oh my God, I asked Jesse for 15 minutes of his time and he said, no, what an idiot, no, what a jerk. I don't, I want to be liked. We all want to be liked. In my twenties, I was really good at marketing and networking and I had no budget. So I used to write 10 handwritten letters a day,
Starting point is 00:18:07 literally for a year. When I was 22, 23-ish, I would write handwritten letters to about five to 10 people every day. That was my marketing campaign. And so think about that. If you write 10 letters a day, that's 3,000 people. That's 3000 seeds that you're planting over the course of a year. Now they're not all going to be customers or your best friend, but you only need like one or two. So, so for starters, I was really good at that. And, and, and the no's that I got were really just the beginning of relationships. Because even though it was a no, I now have permission at a restaurant to go and say, oh, I sent you an email. You didn't respond, but I just want to introduce them. I have permission to do that now. I'm not coming out of thin air. So I'm always,
Starting point is 00:18:54 even to this date, I'm still planting a lot of seeds. I still write handwritten letters because emails get deleted. There's just so much layers to get to the person, but everybody reads a handwritten letter. No one screens my mail for me. So it's still a really effective strategy for me. The other thing I would just add to that, I don't mean to go on and on, but I think- No, no, go on.
Starting point is 00:19:19 I know that I'm a little bit older, so I'm talking from experience. I have the right to say this because I've done it. I literally, I call it like the three-minute miracle, but every day I invest about three minutes and I write a DM, because DMs are also a good way, a handwritten letter or a text or an email, and I send it to three people because if I do three minutes, if I just take three minutes a day over the course of a year, that's a thousand seeds I'm planting. This is how it works, man. You got to put yourself out there. Going back to my dad, it's okay if you don't get 997 people responding, but three people are interested in whatever you're doing.
Starting point is 00:20:12 So I'm really always top of mind consistently as a habit reaching out to people. And it's always one way. I was like, Michael, I thought you might like this video on a new sauna heater, because I know you like saunas. It's one way. I'm not asking for anything. Lauren, I know you like pink. So I just saw this really interesting thing about, I'm sending things that I think people would be interested in. I'm thinking of them. And that's a great way to break through the clutter. And it's a great way for people to feel like, wow, he listens or he or she listens and cares. To round out your point, what you're saying, if you go back to your DMs, I think I reached out about, I want to say like five times before you came on the podcast. I feel like I reached out
Starting point is 00:20:53 in 2000, 2021. We kind of talked back and forth. We kind of talked in 2022. We tried to make it like having you on the podcast was a result of planting seeds slowly. And so to see you at the house today, when I saw you, I said, this is so full circle because I've wanted you on the podcast for so long. You know, it's funny, like even with the size of the platform that this has reached this, you and I have kind of been slowly talking. I was just like, like I'm looking, it's like we're May of 21 21. Just slowly, hey, what's going on? We see each other here and there. And my whole thought process is the right time will come along when it fits into your calendar, when something lines up. But I think some people, they send a message
Starting point is 00:21:35 one time. It doesn't go the way they want it to go. They get discouraged. They never send it again. And I think there's an art to one, being patient, but two, I'd like you to elaborate a little bit more on when you mean one way. Because I think sometimes people come in with an ask, but it's a self-serving ask. Does that make sense? That's difficult. It's like for someone like you who's reached a level of success that you have, and there's lots of people DMing you all the time. And if I came and said, Jesse, you need to come on the show because I need you to come on the show because it'll help me with my show. That's a wrong way to approach you. And I think that'd be the wrong way
Starting point is 00:22:08 to approach me or Lauren or anyone else. I think people should understand a little bit more about the proper way to approach somebody. Yeah. I think that people are smart and people have their intuition. Usually, you could tell if someone has a different motive or a different plan. And when you authentically reach out to somebody and compliment them or, guys, I was with you guys today. You're amazing parents. I could just see how much you care about your kids, those little girls, and how you prioritize your life together.
Starting point is 00:22:43 And it's inspiring. That's one way. I'm giving you an authentic compliment at a time where other people might not be doing it. You're going to remember it. If I send you information, that's one way. Meaning I'm not asking for anything in return. Hey, if you come on my podcast, I'll come on your...
Starting point is 00:22:59 Like that's trading. That's horse trading. We don't horse trade. That's not relationship building. And I found that I'm not good at a lot of things, but I am good at relationships. And I found that when you build, especially in your 20s and your 30s, it never ends, but that's the time where you have the most flexibility to build a network and say yes to everything. I'm in my 50s, I say no to
Starting point is 00:23:25 mostly everything. But in my 20s, I said yes to as many things as I can because I wanted to put myself in a situation where I could get lucky. Luck doesn't happen sitting home watching the Kardashians. It happens when you go somewhere where the universe can reward you. And then you got to be good at whatever you do. So in my 20s, I was putting myself out there and I was really networking. And when you build those deep, authentic relationships early on, the people in your 20s and 30s, in your 40s will be the people that are in positions of power. They'll be the decision makers. They'll be the owners of the studio.
Starting point is 00:24:01 They won't be the podcasters. They'll be owners of the whole damn network. And when you build those relationships, the floodgates open. And I think that people look at business through the lens, through the financial lens. They overemphasize the financial lens and they under-index on the spiritual side of it. Seriously, the spiritual side of the business. What did you do? How'd you do it? What was the culture you built? Were you philanthropic? What was your retention rate? Were you kind to your customers? That's a whole nother side. And not everyone's going to be great on the financial side. It's hard. Anybody can care the most. Anybody can care the most. You don't need a 1500 on your SAT and people feel that,
Starting point is 00:24:53 man. Customers feel that. You guys are where you are because they feel the connection between you. They feel like you're really trying to provide. Even me, you're trying to pull out tips. You want your customers to get value. People feel that. And that's something that often is neglected. When you look back on everything you do, what was the first big break that you had? The first break I ever had was at 22 years old, right after college, I got signed to a record deal. And I signed to a record label called Delicious Vinyl in California.
Starting point is 00:25:31 And the reason why it was the biggest moment in my life, even to this date, other than meeting my wife, is because my dad, I had no connections. My dad owned the plumbing supply. I didn't have a lawyer. I didn't have a manager. I didn't have an agent. I had nothing. And I went to 14, like I said, all these record companies on my own. I would sit in the lobby and hand them a cassette tape that I made on my answering machine with my,
Starting point is 00:25:58 like I know, and I got rejected, rejected, rejected, rejected. And then I got a deal. And what that did to me, and for anyone listening, I think this is the lesson, is it proved to me that if I stay with something that matters to me, I can be successful. And it proved to me that, wow, I could do this myself. I don't need, you know, like I just did, if I just did this myself, what else can I do? And, you know, when people were on a day day after here when we're recording this of the New York Marathon, for all the people that just ran the New York Marathon, they proved to themselves, all the first timers, that they can go further than they've ever gone in their life.
Starting point is 00:26:39 And it's sending a message. They proved to themselves that they have more in the tank. And the lesson is that our greatest problem is the limitations we put on ourselves are often self-imposed. So when you break through those limitations, it opens up this thing like, wow, I'm going to go double my business plan. I got more in me. Let's double the business plan here, man. So I got that at 21. And then it was like, okay, all right. I'm going to start a jet company. I have no airplanes. I have no money. I don't know anybody really that is in, I don't
Starting point is 00:27:14 know anyone in aviation. We started a private jet company with no airplanes and no money and did $5 billion in sales. It wouldn't have happened if I didn't get the record deal. If I went to door number one and they said, you're out of here. And I said, oh, okay, I stink. I'm not sitting here with you guys. Yeah, it's just flexing that muscle and being able to understand that you can break past what you think you can do originally.
Starting point is 00:27:39 And I think like, again, going back to enjoying 20s and 30s, the way that you think as you start to notch some of these wins under your belt and start to prove, I mean, even little things like going from the cold plunge and doing a minute and then going to two. The next time you're going to realize like, okay, I'm not going to even think about a minute because I know I can do two. That's the floor now. You're just setting these little things.
Starting point is 00:27:58 And I think about that in business and in relationships and everything else. Once you know you can break past this, that's your new starting point. That's not the end now, that's the beginning. 100%. And by the way, I'm not suggesting that you don't work hard in business in your 20s, but time is undefeated and you're never getting your 20, no one's beating time. And the only way that you can really even compete is to do things that time can't take away. So for example, I just rode my bike across the country with 10 friends. If I were to get sick tomorrow and couldn't do that again, time can't take that
Starting point is 00:28:31 away. I already did it. It can't take away marquee jet or my record deal or selling carrot and celery sticks. I already did it. So what I'm saying is in your twenties, when you have an opera, even in any age, if you have an opportunity to create a memory or a moment or do something, you take it and you get more of those opportunities, usually in your 20s, because just, you know, you're young and vibrant, healthy enough to do it. And that's what I'm saying. Take advantage of that. You know, we were talking, Michael and I were talking before I learned about my dad who passed away recently from Alzheimer's. I had never really had grief in my life. I've had such a lucky life. I mean, the luckiest situation.
Starting point is 00:29:16 Never really experienced anyone super close to me dying. Just came from a great house, married a great girl have healthy kids i mean i always say to sarah like look where we are right now because how does it get better like you know your parents are alive like it's important to take time and think about that stuff man like we got healthy kids you know lucky we are that we have healthy kids like do you think you have problems i don't think there's any greater stress than when the kid, when a kid gets sick. And I, like, when I think about parents that go through that, it's like, I don't know anything. I don't think there's anything worse. Right. So when my dad passed away, I had no regrets because I
Starting point is 00:29:57 completely emptied the tank in our relationship and he emptied the tank in a, like in, in his relationship with me. And when you pour all your soul into something, you don't have any regrets. For me, I feel weird just talking about this, but I really live my life. I feel like this is like a memoir for me. You guys are getting me emotional. Like pouring so much soul into what I do.
Starting point is 00:30:23 Like I was saying about the relationships and stuff. When you say you, you, you guys poured everything into the, out of the tanks in the relationship. Do you just mean like you guys, like you got everything you needed to get out with each other. You went through every issue.
Starting point is 00:30:35 You talked about everything you wanted to talk. I don't think, I mean, I don't think a lot, I think a lot of people unfortunately don't get there with their parents. Very rare. No, I know.
Starting point is 00:30:43 And I feel so lucky about that. And like my dad showed up for everything. You know, every picture in my photo book, my parents are in it. Of big moments in my life. They're in every picture. And when I had kids, I didn't get a manual, but I had my mom and my dad.
Starting point is 00:30:59 For a lot of people growing up, when they become parents, if they didn't have a great relationship or they came from a maybe dysfunctional household, like maybe their role models were someone they saw on the parents they saw on like on TV, like the Brady Bunch or the, you know, whoever like, so I got to, to experience that. And now I get to pass it on to my kids. No, I think that's huge. And to your point, like not a lot of people are that lucky. So when your dad was going through Alzheimer's, how early on did you know that that's what it was? And what
Starting point is 00:31:33 did you do personally to kind of manage it? Because that's a very, my grandmother passed from Alzheimer's and I obviously was closer, but not nearly as close as I am with my father. I imagine that was extremely trying on you. How do you manage that and stay patient and not get frustrated and still give him the care that he needs? Well, the crazy thing is if we were all born a hundred years ago, if we were born a hundred years ago, where do your parents live? They live in San Diego still. And what about you, Lauren? San Diego. Yeah. So you guys live 2,000 miles from your parents. If we were born 100 years ago, you'd live in the same house, on the same block or in the same town and wherever you based.
Starting point is 00:32:12 No one was living 2,000 miles away. Sure. And now I'm here. My brother's in Florida. My mom's over here. Everyone's so scattered. So in my 30s, 40 forties, and fifties, because I went right, I went from college right to the pros, you know, I was right in it.
Starting point is 00:32:29 And my parents moved down to Florida. Like I didn't see him that much. I mean, I thought I did, but maybe I saw him three times a year. So from 20 to 70, if I saw him two times a year, I saw him like a hundred times ever again in my life. And when I got older and had kids, as my parents, I see him like twice a year. So the last five years of my parents' life, think about it. If you only see your parents a couple of times a year and you see them twice a year, they live five years, you get 10 visits with them. I wish I had that time back. I don't think I've heard anyone ever contextualize it that way. It gets your wheels spinning a lot more, especially as you have aging parents. If you start to think about it in terms of visits instead of years.
Starting point is 00:33:11 Yeah. I mean, I was talking to my friends the other day because I'm 55 and I had a group of entrepreneurs that I was coaching at my house. And I was saying, where are you going to be five years from now? No one really can answer it. But I said, no, think about it. My mom's 92. So in five years, my son is 14, one of my oldest son. So in five years from now, I hope she's here, but is she going to live to be 97? I don't know, man. My son will be in college. I'll be 60. I'll be 60, 20 years from 80. So when I think about that, it creates a lot of urgency around what I want to do right now and how I want to spend the time with my son. Because if he's in college, he's gone. So when you think about five... No, but people are so
Starting point is 00:34:03 obsessed with right now. What am I doing this weekend? What are you guys doing for Thanksgiving? It's in two weeks. Well, what's your, what does it look like for you in five years when you're 42 and you know, and your daughters are now in going into eighth or ninth grade, you know,
Starting point is 00:34:18 whatever eighth grade, what does that look like for you? I'm dying that you're calling it my daughters because it's a daughter and a son, but I have to tell you something really funny. I was close. As a side note, no, everyone thinks that he is a girl because he has such long hair.
Starting point is 00:34:34 Oh, I didn't even think about that. His hair is so long. And the other day someone said to Michael. Have I been saying daughters? It's really funny though because someone came up to Michael, like this old guy at church the other day and he said you have a beautiful daughter and it was our son and we're not we're like like dressing him appropriately but he's i just sat in a sauna
Starting point is 00:34:55 that was 297 degrees for 45 minutes no i think it's funny that you keep saying daughters it's hysterical no but i mean sorry towns but it I think to your point, looking at time that way is such a different approach. Unfortunately, I think many people, I mean, time is undefeated, like you said. And I think sometimes we think we have a lot more than we actually do. We're all living longer, these long, beautiful lives. But I think when you contextualize it into visits or time with kids, it starts to feel a lot smaller. Yeah. I mean, I always like to think of it in terms of summers because the average American lives to be 78. So even if you're 37, that's only 40 summers left. That's not a lot of summers or 40 ski trips
Starting point is 00:35:47 or whatever. And when you think of it that way, you know, like you don't want to waste a minute of that sum of those summers, you know, it just forces you to be, at least for me, if it repositions me to be a doer, just being aware of it makes me want to take the trip I wasn't going to take or not push it. Because you don't want to waste the summer. You don't want to waste the time. Let me tell you about a hack that has saved my life. I need my sleep and I have two kids under three. So it's a lot. One thing I've done that I could not live without, though, is I've implemented a gently weighted sleep sack. The one that I use is by Dreamland Baby. It's so cute. It's neutral. But most importantly, my baby, Towns, associates it with sleep. So when I pull it out, he knows it's time to go to bed and he immediately calms down because it's gently weighted. And it makes so much sense because I use a weighted blanket at night and it does something to your nervous system that just like immediately relaxes you. So this one is very, very slightly weighted. It just gives you a feeling like the baby is like in a hug and it helps them sleep. It helps them stay asleep too.
Starting point is 00:37:02 This is one gift that I will give every single new mother. Like all my friends who are new mothers, I'm like, you have to try this. It's super interesting. The brand was created by this woman who noticed when she put throw blanket on her baby, he would immediately calm down. So she had this moment and she's like, oh my God, I have to create these gently weighted sleep sacks. And she did. And she called it Dreamland Baby. And it is literally saving lives everywhere.
Starting point is 00:37:31 Go to dreamlandbabyco.com and enter our code skinny at checkout. You receive 20% off site wide and free shipping. This offer is for new and existing customers. dreamlandbabyco.com, enter our code skinny. One thing I do not screw around with and one thing that I do not change because I love it so much is my multivitamin. The one that I take has a heavy emphasis on vitamin D. A lot of people don't get vitamin D in their diet. So this is really important. It is by Ritual. You know it. Essential for women, 18 plus. Why I'm obsessed with this
Starting point is 00:38:03 brand is everything is traceable. So you can go on and you can actually see where their high quality ingredients come from. Everything is clean and bioavailable. And most importantly, there's nine key nutrients in their two delayed release capsules. So I take two per day. I do it on an empty stomach. It's super gentle on an empty stomach. It has like a minty essence, so it's not harsh in the morning. And this is a brand that I've been taking throughout the last three years. I took the prenatal when I was pregnant with Zaza. I took the postnatal after both my babies, and I just believe in the brand so much so that I even had the founder on. I just love her ethos and her mission. It's absolutely incredible. Ritual multivitamins are vegan, non-GMO,
Starting point is 00:38:45 project verified, gluten and major allergen free, certified B Corp, and made traceable, like I said. We have a code for you, obviously. No more shady business. Ritual is essential for women. 18 plus is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Get 40% off your first month for a limited time at ritual.com slash skinny. This offer is only available through January 31st. Start Ritual or add Essential for Women 18 plus to your subscription today. That's ritual.com slash skinny for 40% off. Quick break to talk about Hinge. I am sitting here looking at my producer, Carson, and we were talking the other day. I did this whole poll in the office. I say, hey, what is the best dating app out there?
Starting point is 00:39:29 And Carson said, I found my current girl on Hinge. And then many of the women in this office also said that they had found their partners on Hinge. So what is Hinge? Hinge is the dating app designed to be deleted. Why? Hinge gives you a sense of someone's personality and lets you share your own. You get to know potential dates through their unique answers to prompts.
Starting point is 00:39:49 Plus, get a sense of someone's dating intentions and what they're looking for. I think this is for the serious dater, the person who's actually interested in developing meaningful relationships. I love that this app is designed to be deleted because it means it's designed to get people in actual relationships with people that they can actually build a life with. When it comes to successful online dating, the office results are in. Hinge seems to be the clear winner where people are finding meaningful, lasting relationships where people can actually get to know people in a meaningful way and where they can authentically share themselves as well. So definitely check it out if you're thinking about getting into the
Starting point is 00:40:22 online dating scene or you're looking to switch it up and meet new people. So if you're somebody who's sick of putting yourselves out there and not getting a reciprocal return, and you just want to meet quality people who are looking for quality relationships, not trying to mess around, not trying to play the field, looking to get in a serious relationship with a like-minded person, definitely check out the Hinge app. Download Hinge and find someone worth deleting the app for now. Again, download the Hinge app on the App Store now. What's so interesting to me about you is that you have done so many things after another. So what I'm trying to say is I think a lot of young guys that make money would have a hit like you had with your jet situation.
Starting point is 00:41:09 And then they would kind of maybe open a restaurant or try something else or put the kind of sit on the money. But you kept going. You are a doer. What propels that when you sold your first company? Did you immediately want to do something else? Have you always been like someone who wants that momentum? I think for me, like a couple of things come to mind. For starters, when I'm at the end of the journey, I don't want to look back and be like, I was the 80% version of me.
Starting point is 00:41:35 I don't want to be like, that's a B minus. I don't want to be a B minus. So it's, and I don't, I'm not one to celebrate like past. I don't have any pictures. I don't own a Marquee Jet hat or Zico coconut, any of the businesses that I have. I don't have any, like it's done. I'm like, okay, I did that. What, like I have like a what's next mentality. And that's just the way that I'm wired. I love newness and challenges. And I, and I still have an underdog mentality.
Starting point is 00:42:02 I still like, I think I never got all fancy. You never got all fancy. I'm still hungry. I still feel like I have a chip on my shoulder, like a lot to prove. I'm competitive. So I think all of those things come into play. How do you think if somebody wants to have more of those traits, how do you think you can cultivate that? Do you think you can or do you think that's something you're born with? Again, I can only talk about it from my own perspective. Let me answer it this way. My brother asked me how my son was doing in swimming. He's a pretty good swimmer when he was like nine. And I'm like, he's doing all right, but he just doesn't have that eye of the tiger. And my brother said, oh, that's's okay as long as he's happy and i'm like no he's happy
Starting point is 00:42:46 playing fortnight and eating haagen-dazs like is that really what we want like like is shitty like try to reach his potential like he's so to me it's like it's that common for everybody i think it's like we all have so much potential. There's so much opportunity in front of all of us, regardless of our skill levels. I think it's important, at least for me, it's important. Like, I feel like I have so much more in me. I feel like I haven't even done the big thing yet. I really do. Like, I feel like, I just feel like that.
Starting point is 00:43:20 I feel very driven. I think also, you know, I talk to a lot of young men especially, and I think people glamorize the hit. I'm going to do this, and I'm going to have this one big hit, and then I'm going to be happy, and then I'm going to settle down. And I try to tell people that it's not the hit that you're actually going to like as much as the process and continuing to get better at that process. I agree with you. And I think when I look back on my journey, what I'm most proud of is I've had, I've had a couple of exits in business. I've had a lot of failures too. I've had a lot of businesses that didn't work or, or certainly a few, but what I, what I'm really
Starting point is 00:44:01 proud of is, you know, how I did it, first of all, but also that on the other side of that business, which took a lot of energy, I've really invested a lot in my life resume because that's my business resume. But equally, if not more important, is your life resume. So I mentioned earlier the bike ride across the country, those kinds of things, like to mix adventure and spend time with my kids and have great relationships with my friends and all that is, is again, back to the spiritual side is so important. So it's not so much like selling a company, then starting another one. To me, that was just business. I don't even really sell it
Starting point is 00:44:45 I never think about it But I think about my life resume a lot You know the adventures I want to take and as we enter 2024 You know before the show started I was showing you guys this calendar that I had and how I kind of map out I'm a big planner. I'm like calendar obsessive I feel like if you don't plan it, it won't happen. And like, it's hard to create newness because we live in routine. It's like,
Starting point is 00:45:11 where does newness come from? You have to like plan it, you know? And I've been doing something for the last, I didn't even realize I was doing it, but now I know I'm doing it. Now I plan it. But I do, I do three things every year around this time that really helped me with that life resume. The first thing that I do is there's an old Japanese ritual. Have you guys ever heard of this? Called them a soggy. Yeah. It's like a challenge that's almost unattainable. It almost breaks you, but you can- Michael's the fourth Japanese. Yeah. You would never know that.
Starting point is 00:45:42 Yeah. So we've kind of taken the liberty to tweak that. But the notion around it is that like you do one big year defining thing a year. So like at the end of 2023, we're working so hard. We have families like, what do you have to show for it? What'd you do? You know, it's important that you can look back on your journey and be like, in 2015, I wrote a book, Living with the Seal. 2017, I launched a new company.
Starting point is 00:46:06 2019, we started our podcast. What's that one? So every year, I have one big year defining thing. And so I put that on my calendar. And it doesn't always have to be a business thing. It could be like, what was the bike thing? Right. Just anything that's challenging.
Starting point is 00:46:19 So I do that. And I'm going to tell you why this is important and you're going to freak out. The second thing I do is I add every other month, I do something I normally wouldn't have done on like one weekend day. So like, instead of watching the Georgia football game, I might take my kids fishing. I might go to a museum. I might go to a lecture. I do like a mini adventure. So I'll do like every other month, every eight weeks, I should be able to take a day, like one out of every 60 days to do something I normally wouldn't have done. So at the end of the year, I'll have six little
Starting point is 00:46:51 mini adventures. Now here's why that's so important. If you're 37, I'm just going to go to you, Michael, for a second, I'm looking at you. And again, you live to be 77, the average American, you're going to live way longer, especially the way you're doing your biohacking, but that's 40 years. That would give you 40 year defining things on your life resume, 40 unbelievable things. And that will give you 240 mini adventures that you didn't have. If you're 78 and you have 40 insane events in your life and 240 mini adventures, like you crushed life. Forgetting about the business, you fucking crushed life.
Starting point is 00:47:31 And how do you decide what these mini adventures are? They could be like, I'm just super intentional about adding things throughout the year that I normally wouldn't have done. And usually it's around my friends. It could just be like my college friends come over. I took my son to Washington DC on a father-son trip last year. We went skiing. It's just things like that. And I put them on my calendar. Because if you don't put them on your calendar early, your calendar is going to fill up with Zoom calls,
Starting point is 00:48:02 weddings, appointments, appointments kids sporting events you know and and then you have nothing to show for it lauren and my best friend they make fun of me because they're like why is this guy planning these trips and i don't make fun of you i love it i'm obsessed with it keep planning it i'm gonna put it on my big ass calendar you keep planning it similar to you i feel if i don't plan it that way it's just not going to get done i'm gonna get stuck running this. Are you a planner? I'm a planner like a psycho from a micro perspective.
Starting point is 00:48:29 Like day to day? Yes. Michael's looking way far out. I'm more detail. He's more big picture. I always get, you know, my cross to bear and sometimes I get in trouble
Starting point is 00:48:40 is that I maybe sometimes live too far in the future. I don't live in the past at all. I don't think about what happened yesterday. When you said that you should have your like five years written out he has his five years written out in months yeah yeah he's very that's the japanese in him yeah but i like i like i'm that's my problem is like i go so far sometimes that i gotta he will be talking about like when we're 62 i'm like can i just get through the fucking morning i need a coffee and like i
Starting point is 00:49:04 need to get a workout here's why and i i hate to be one of these corny people but everything i've ever written down and even if it's vague if it's written down a year two three i've either hit it or gone past it and i look back on some of this writing because i keep the notes and i read it sometimes to be like oh wow look what I thought I could do compared to what I actually did. And this could be anything. It'd be like, I want to be able to get in shape or I want to be able to run this far. I want to go to lift little things. But I think sometimes the difficulty in my personal life is if I'm living too far, you have to anchor yourself sometimes with the presence. But to your point, I don't think about the past at all. If I have a success or if I win, it's like that happened, I move forward. I don't think on it. I don't dwell on it. If someone upsets me, I don't think about the past at all. If I have a success or if I sell a win, it's like that happened to move one. I can't, I don't think on it. I don't dwell on it.
Starting point is 00:49:48 If someone upsets me, I don't think on it. I don't dwell on it. Never angry with anybody. It's just like, go, go, go. Yeah. I'm very similar in that. When you move from your first company to your second company, how do you decide to go from what you're doing to beverage? Like what's I, what's the interim? I want to know like what is going through your head of how you decide to go from what you're doing to beverage? Like what's the interim? I want to know like what is going through your head of how you decide to do something that's completely different on your next business. So I follow my enthusiasm. Let me tell you where I'm at now and then I'm going to go back to when I was 20. Now it's aggravation versus reward.
Starting point is 00:50:19 Like I want low aggravation. So if something is high aggravation, but it might have high reward, you have to weigh the aggravation factor. Give an example of what you mean by that. Well, like I had an idea recently that I, that had to do with aviation, making commercial aviation feel like private aviation. It was a big idea.
Starting point is 00:50:37 And I had a partner lined up and I showed the whole plant and my wife. And she's like, this is an unbelievable idea. Don't do it. And I was like, this is an unbelievable idea. Don't do it. And I was like, what are you talking about? This is bigger than Marquis Jet. Like, this is huge. She's like, it is.
Starting point is 00:50:51 But do you want to take calls at two in the morning from a customer that shows up? Do you want to blah, blah, blah? Do you want to go to Japan? And I was like, no. She's like, it's just not worth it at this stage of your life. So it was a high aggravation to build it,
Starting point is 00:51:04 to build a team, to get a CEO, to build the life. So it was a high aggravation to build it, to build a team, to get a CEO, to build the infrastructure. So I decided not to do it. So that would be an example of that. Another example would be getting into a partnership for a great idea. But the people, I'm on friend reduction right now. I'm on friend reduction. What is friend reduction? If it's a high aggravation management team, or I don't love the guys or girls that are doing it, that would be another example of high aggravation. This person is always down. That would be another high aggravation person. Friend reduction is just like, I've outgrown a lot of my friends and they've outgrown me, which is okay.
Starting point is 00:51:51 We were great friends when we were 30s, but they're like, you've changed so much, Jesse. Yeah, I have four kids and I'm married. Yeah, I'm not getting invited to as many bachelor parties as I used to. I'm not going to the bar. You're single. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:04 I've changed. You're right. I always say, like Lauren says, are you upset your friends aren't calling? I'm like, listen, I got two young kids at home. I'm not out at the bars or the clubs. And I can't be. I look like a total creep if I was. Exactly. It's just what it is. It's not that I don't love those guys anymore, that we didn't have great times. It's just like, they're single, I'm not. Wait 10 more years and watch what happens because your friends, you know, of the 10 guys that I rode my bike across the country with, I only knew one of them 10 years ago. And now they're like my closest friends.
Starting point is 00:52:33 Nine of those guys I met over the last 10 years. So, you know, your friend groups are going to change as you get older and your friends are going to become the parents of your children's friends and people you meet in school. Like I said, your life in the beginning when we opened up this talk, your life model is going to evolve, and that's okay. So when you decided to switch career, or I guess you didn't switch,
Starting point is 00:52:56 but you decided to move on to the next thing, was that a lot of aggravation in what you chose? No, so that's now. So back then, it was enthusiasm. I saw an opportunity. I switched from private aviation to coconut water. Entrepreneurs do one of two things. They either make something that exists better or they create something new. And I'm a runner. So I had this private jet company. I'm a big runner. I was training for a hundred mile race that I did. And I did a runner. So I had this private jet company. I'm a big runner. I was training for a hundred mile race that I did. And I did a lot of research around hydration and nutrition and
Starting point is 00:53:30 discovered coconut water. And this is in 2006. So I started drinking coconut water. I felt great. And I'm like, this is the fountain of youth. Like this is going to be the next big thing in beverage. And that's what led me on. And there was nothing in the marketplace. So, so I, as an entrepreneur, saw an opportunity to create something new, bring something new to the market. And, and I was really, and I had a lot of enthusiasm about that. You know, if the passion, you can have a great idea, but if the passion isn't there, you know, the obstacles are going to be too big. You have to
Starting point is 00:54:06 have the passion and the enthusiasm around the journey, not even your widget, around the journey of what you signed up for, for it to be successful. Do you know what I mean by that? Yeah. I think when people, sometimes when we speak, and the last time we saw you, we were all speaking, I always say to people that when people say, hey, if you find your passion, you won't work a day in your life, there's some truth to that. But the thing is, you're always going to work. It's just the passion gives you the ability to get through all the shit that comes with the work. Yeah. I never liked selling airplanes at Marquee Jet. We had a private jet. That's what we did. We sold airplanes. But I had incredible enthusiasm for the customer service, for meeting people, for building the relationships,
Starting point is 00:54:45 for the journey of that entrepreneurial. It wasn't about the airplanes. People think it's always the product. Of course, you have to believe in your product and like your product. But I had such a passion for starting this company that it didn't matter if it was whatever it was, it happened to be airplanes that I was going to get behind it. Yeah. I always get nervous. We talked a little bit about this in the sauna. Sometimes you'll hear people and maybe they haven't ever had a business or they haven't worked and they're telling you, well, you find your passion, you don't work and do this. It's like, you're always going to have to work. You're going to have to work in the gym. You're going to have to work
Starting point is 00:55:18 in yourself. You're going to have to work in a relationship. You're going to have to work in your business. But the excitement and the passion enables you to get through all of that when it gets really challenging, which it inevitably will in every area. I totally agree. And that's why I think it's important to have things on your calendar that excite you. Because if you're stuck at a job that you don't love or you're on a downward spiral or whatever, and you have something on your calendar that you're excited for, it changes the game a little bit. You know, like it really gives you something to look forward to
Starting point is 00:55:49 and shoot for. It becomes your North Star. And that's really helped me a lot, getting through certain situations. Like this is a tough time, but I'm going to Puerto Rico on Thanksgiving. It's going to, you know, it helps me get there. What point through all of this in your career
Starting point is 00:56:03 did you meet your wife and how did you guys meet? Was it like a first date? As a husband and a father, you've obviously done very well. It's relevant to talk about. Yeah, I met my wife later in life. So I met Sarah had Spanx. She started Spanx when she was, I want to say like 28, 30, something like that. And I met her when she was 36 and I was, I got married at 40 and Sarah was 37. And you had already sold your beverage company by this time. I sold Marquis Jet and I sold the beverage company a year into our marriage and she still owned a hundred percent of Spanx. And we met at a, she was a customer of ours at Marquis Jet. We met at a party that we had in Vegas,
Starting point is 00:56:46 and we got married a year later. Did you guys like each other right away? So the way that this was set up was we had 4,000 customers. Every rep from each territory was allowed to invite one person. So our Georgia sales rep was allowed to invite one person to this party, this poker tournament we having in Vegas. And the Georgia rep sent a picture of Sarah. She had like an apple on her head. It was like a promo picture. And I was like, don't send anyone other pictures or anyone, make sure she goes to the Vegas,
Starting point is 00:57:18 make sure she comes. And yeah, we were married a year later. So you guys were synergistic. She didn't know. I knew. I don't think she knew. I had to put on a whole, it took me like, I had to fight. I think it's so cool because you guys are both powerhouses on your own
Starting point is 00:57:36 and you've been able to come together and support each other without, from what I see, you guys are cheerleading each other. There's no jealousy. That's not always the case. I've interviewed a lot of people where there's been divorces because the husband can't handle the woman's success or the woman can't handle the man's success. How have you guys maintained such
Starting point is 00:57:56 a synergistic, happy marriage with four children? I mean, what are the tips? You said what, 16 years now? Yeah. And four kids. kids well i think part of it is we got married older later in life uh-huh and you know sarah to go through all of her 20s and 30s like you know when are you gonna get married are you dating anyone like you know and she went all the way to 37 not all the way but she was 37 and so so but she was already independent with spanks and i was independent so that that helped a little bit, you know, getting old, getting married later. We had, I was more mature. I wasn't ready to get married and neither was she in our twenties or even our early
Starting point is 00:58:34 thirties. She was focused on her business, you know, and, but to answer your question, I, so I think that helps. No, I think, look for when Sarah's star is shining bright, I'm her biggest cheerleader. And when my star shines, she's my biggest cheerleader. Without that,
Starting point is 00:58:55 it would be so weird. I don't know. So no, and part of being in a partnership is when you struggle, the other person feels it. And we both share in that. And it's worked out great. Part of being in a partnership is like when you struggle, the other person feels it. We both share in that and it's worked out great. But I could see how it could be really hard to be married to a successful woman.
Starting point is 00:59:19 Well, I think we talked about this a little bit when we got out of the sauna. I think a lot of men struggle if they are not maybe the main breadwinner or the main star of the household. I mean, that's the way that most people, most examples of a household, especially our generation is like the guy went to work, the mom stayed home. That's obviously changed drastically. My example as a kid is my mom always worked. So I've always been attracted to women that were doing that kind of thing. But I think a lot of men are excited for their wife or their girlfriend until all of a sudden, maybe the wife or their girlfriend starts to be more successful in some area. And I wonder your perspective on that. I love, I mean, I love when great things happen to Sarah and I'm always asking her like, how can I support her in that? And she does the same for me. And I think that's what a team, that's an important part of it, of a team. There's zero
Starting point is 01:00:09 competition at all. And we're a team, you know, it's like, if she's winning, our family's winning, if she's losing. And we share that with our kids too. You know, we have family dinner almost every night and, or certainly if we're both in town every night, and we talk about these things. We ask our kids, what happened this week that was good at school? What happened that wasn't good at school? And we have family meetings on Sunday mornings, and everyone gets to talk about their week. And then each one of my sons and my daughter, their brothers and sisters, stick up for each other. Like it's important that, that, that team and that family unit is aligned. So it's not just
Starting point is 01:00:51 Sarah and I, it's even our kids, you know? Um, I mean, my, yeah, it's so communication is really important. It's, it's, it sounds like that with what you, the story that you told about your big idea when you told her and she said, do you really to be doing it sounds like you guys are very like aligned as a team yeah we are i mean she sometimes she'll give me input and i and i'll be like no this is i really want to do it and again and then you have to come to your own senses and you have to make it seem like it's their idea even though it's not their idea and it's the woman's idea and we've puppeteered the whole thing. It's exhausting. Yeah. Oh my God. And then the other, like, it's just business. Like we don't, we're not defined by that. You know, I guess outside Sarah is known as the Spanx girl. I mean, you're the Spanx lady.
Starting point is 01:01:40 She gets that a lot, but we never talk about it. Like we're not, she's not defined by it in our house. You know, she's Charlie's mom. She's Tepper's mom. Like we don't, I never talk about my, I never even think about business or my, or the, what the public thinks. Like, I never think about that. I'm thinking about how do I get my kids better for their football game? How do they do better on a test?
Starting point is 01:02:02 How do I help them deal with like bullying? And like, how do they say thank you? And please, like, that's the only thing on my mind. How are you guys with all your successes going to raise kids? Like, like what, like, how are you doing it in this day and age? It's real. It's how, how do you also there, there is such a gray area with this and a finesse of how to raise children with, you guys have been so successful how do you keep them humble I'm just curious like how you guys look at it the hardest thing for me is as a parent is one of the hardest things is recognizing that like our children are
Starting point is 01:02:39 on their own journey and it's not my journey so like you know like I used to play basketball till midnight at my mom like Jesse get inside my kid to play. My oldest son wants to play Fortnite and I can't be like, that's his journey. So at first that would tear me apart. I'd be like, why aren't you outside playing basketball? That's what I did when I was a kid. And then I'd be like, whoops, like that's, this is his journey. He doesn't want to play basketball. You can make a shitload of money playing fortnite a shitload those those kids my dad my dad's billions of dollars now he told me all the time he's like you never i know you're right i would not be surprised if
Starting point is 01:03:14 i'm interviewing your son in 10 years get inside and play fortnite listen my stay inside and play you need more he's sitting on the mic i'm like so how was your childhood he's like well my dad used to tell me that I should go play basketball, but all I really wanted to do was play Fortnite. Exactly. I always say my dad used to give me so much shit for playing video games all the time when I was a kid. And so I quit.
Starting point is 01:03:32 And I was like, if I was born a little bit later, I'd be a multimillionaire Fortnite streamer instead of a podcaster. Right. Right. This is like the opportunities that exist. But still, no, I hear what you're saying. We think about this all the time. It's just, I want to keep my kids humble and grateful. And like you said, saying thank you. And I want to make sure without micromanaging it, it's a finesse.
Starting point is 01:03:54 No, but I want to also like, I don't, there's this book that Lauren and I are reading together in bed. I've just, it's, it's, it's a weird, interesting book that I stumbled across on Amazon. It's 32 letters from Rockefeller to his son. And the very first letter starts out with basically saying, your start does not guarantee where you finish. And he's basically coaching his son saying, you're going to start a lot further than where I did. It's phenomenal. It's such a good book.
Starting point is 01:04:23 It's such a good book. It's unbelievable. He talks about how he had such a good book it's unbelievable he talks about how he had very humble upbringings and how his like books in high school were given to him by neighbors and like how he had to like work for five dollars a week and all this stuff and his son was obviously going to start off the the heels of the richest man in the world and he basically coaches like was basically warning him like you have to put in this effort and he tells this story about these kids that he's like they're self-made millionaires and this guy says yeah they
Starting point is 01:04:48 started with 20 and now they only have one and the letters are interesting because lauren and i obviously we want to work and we want to you know be able to provide but at the same time we want to go back to what you're talking about earlier which is like how do you give these kids enough grit so that they don't rest on their laurels? And they, you know, for Sarah and I, we try to like the most important thing is, is our children's self-esteem that they have good self-esteem. So we want to do things that boost their self-esteem. So part of that is putting them in situations like we praise the effort. We praise the effort. So it's not like, oh, you scored three touchdowns today. It's like, I love watching all that hard work you did this week paid off.
Starting point is 01:05:34 I love watching how hard you tried. We praise the effort. Then disappointment's been stripped from kids. They make every team. There's participation trophies. You have to invite every kid to the birthday party where our kids go to school. Every kid in the classroom has to go to the birthday parties. And disappointment's a part of life. You can't take away disappointment in a kid's childhood. So my dad, when they used to throw out a baseball catch, if my mitt was down, my dad would let
Starting point is 01:06:06 the ball hit me in the face instead of catching it. And like, I want to block every ball that comes at my kids, but you need to get hit in the face sometimes. And we have to let our children experience disappointment. So nothing to do with money, nothing to do with stat, like let your kid, it's okay. They need to have a coping mechanism they so those little things are really important self-esteem is really important you know sticking up for yourself feeling good about so doing things that you make your kids feel good about themselves is really important and we try to we try to put them in situations not give them put them in situations, not give them, put them in situations where they can experience that.
Starting point is 01:06:48 And what are things that you guys might consider disciplining them for? Like, is there a behavior or something that they would maybe do that you're saying like, hey, we don't allow that? Or like Lauren and I always say, like if our kids ever bullying anyone, like that's going to be a big problem for them. Absolutely. It's not going to fly. I think the most, I think that's an individual decision for each parent. But I think when you're dating,
Starting point is 01:07:11 before you get married, I never said to Sarah, how do you want to discipline our kids when we have children? Do you want to send them to a religious school? Do you want them to date within our religion? Do you want them to eat healthy foods or fast food? We never had that conversation, ever. When we were dating, I was like, when we were engaged, I'm like, okay, let's talk about the children we don't have and get aligned.
Starting point is 01:07:35 So more importantly is being aligned on that stuff now. So it's less about how we do it. It's more about we have to be aligned on it. And, and if we're not aligned, like we had this the other night, we had a disagreement about something over like food or something like late at night in the old days, Sarah or I, I'm saying Sarah, but I could easily be me, would correct each other in front of the kids. I'd be like, oh no, Sarah. They can't, and we would disagree or I would trump her. No, your mom is not right. It's okay. But now, two nights ago, I was like, sweetie,
Starting point is 01:08:21 can I talk for a second? It was more like this, sweetie, can I can i talk for a second it was more like this sweetie can i talk to you for a second in private over here it wasn't and then i was like please don't ever do that again like you trumped me which takes away my authority so and we had a conversation and so those things are really important. Just a tip. No, no, no. It's hard. We're both guilty of trumping each other. To do it in, you know, and then the other thing I would say about that is I was giving
Starting point is 01:08:54 a speech and in the afternoon, I always go to listen to the speakers before. Like I love, I love, I'm a student of public speaking. So I love listening to lectures and talks. And there were all these breakout groups. And there was one gal at a breakout session about parenting and marriage. So I went to it. It was phenomenal. By the way, and now we work together. I hired her as a coach and now we work together in my programs and whatever. Dr. Karen, Karen Gordon, she's amazing. And one of the things that she said in this talk was, it's important that your kids see that mommy and daddy come first.
Starting point is 01:09:34 And I'd always been taught the kids come first. It's like, oh, no, it's our kids. No, they have to know that mommy and daddy are right and that like we go on dates and that we're connected that's got to be the number one thing and i completely agree that they come second because otherwise they're running the house yeah yeah then they feel like they have almost leverage over you 100 you have to you have to show leverage a synergy as, just like you show synergy in business. You have to show it to the kids and show them who's boss. No, it's incredible how even at a young age, how quickly they can try to flip that
Starting point is 01:10:13 and take authority over you if you're not careful. This one's for the pet lovers out there, the dog lovers. If you're not a dog lover, not a pet lover, what the hell are you doing listening to this show? We love the farmer's dog so much. This has been a longtime partner that we use every single day in our household for our pets that we love so much. Lauren and I spend so much time talking about different ways that we can take care of ourselves and not enough time talking about how to take care of our furry friends, our pets, the ones that give us the most love in life. For those of you that are unfamiliar with the farmer's dog, it's developed by vets, nutritionally balanced, and made from real healthy ingredients to human food safety
Starting point is 01:10:52 standards. It's the best option for dogs at all life stages because it's not kibble, it's not canned goo, it's just real healthy food. Again, why would you not want to give your pets real healthy food? Traditional dry and wet dog food options are highly processed, can use much lower quality ingredients they claim to, and are extremely difficult to portion accurately. The Farmer's Dog makes it super easy for us. They send these packets straight to our door, and then we're able to portion control them for our pets every single day. They are thriving.
Starting point is 01:11:18 They are happy. They get so excited whenever we pull out the packs. A fresh diet has been found to have all sorts of benefits from healthier coat and skin to better breath, even easier digestion and smaller, better poops. A healthy diet isn't just important for humans. It's also extremely important for our dogs. And dogs of any age at any stage can try the farmer's dog. We of course have an incredible offer for you. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at thefarmersdog.com slash skinny. Plus you get free shipping. Just go to thefarmersdog.com slash skinny to get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at thefarmersdog.com slash skinny. Plus you get free shipping. Just go to thefarmersdog.com slash skinny to get 50% off. That's thefarmersdog.com slash skinny. Quick break to talk about one of our longest
Starting point is 01:11:54 running show partners, one of our favorite services, one of our favorite brands, and that is Thrive Market. Thrive Market has been our go-to for all of our grocery and household essentials for years now. I think since the history of this show, we might be going on seven, eight years running using Thrive Market. Long-time listeners will remember that they played a huge part in the early years of this show as one of our first partners. And we've continued to work with them because we love their service so much. I love that Thrive Market carries brands with the highest quality ingredients and sourcing methods.
Starting point is 01:12:25 They restrict hundreds of ingredients across their food and cleaning categories, and I can use their on-site filters to suit my lifestyle needs. So whether you're looking for organic kids, food, snacks, low sugar, alternatives, or gluten-free pantry essentials, you can curate your own shopping experience. Lauren and I for years have been using the service to find all of the healthiest, all of the cleanest, all of the best ingredients. Outside of finding the best products, best ingredients, and saving some money, you are also helping a family in need with their one-for-one membership matching program. They've done this for years. It's an incredible program. You can join and they give. So check out
Starting point is 01:13:02 one of the best brands and best services on the market. Join in on the savings with Thrive Market today and get 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift. Go to thrivemarket.com slash skinny, 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift. That's thrivemarket.com slash skinny, thrivemarket.com slash skinny. Check it out. There are three things that I have every single day and I am addicted to them. And I am pretty strict with what I eat when I'm at home because I really like to do high protein and I'm like 80, 20. So when I travel, I'm like more of the 20. But when I'm at home, there's three things, like I said, that I eat.
Starting point is 01:13:46 And they are all by Chroma Wellness. First thing, their beauty matcha. Oh my god, it is so good. I froth it with raw milk and some water. And I do it over ice. Or I just do it with hot water. I do two scoops. And I feel like I'm getting a caffeine boost that tastes delicious,
Starting point is 01:14:04 that's super low sugar, but has protein in it. The next thing is, and this is something that Michael's also implemented into his diet, is they have this kind of spicy, not too spicy, cranberry hydration elixir. And I'll use a frother again and froth it up with water and ice. And the last thing that I eat a scoop in bed is they have this, oh my God, cookie butter. And it has like goji berries on the top of it. And it tastes like a cookie butter, but it's chewy with the goji berries. I am telling you these three like sort of treats get me through my day. And Chroma is offering free shipping on all five-day resets through the end of January, as well as an exclusive 15% discount for TSC listeners only. Go to chromawellness.com and
Starting point is 01:14:51 enter code SKINNY at checkout. The five-day reset is such a good one after the holidays. I would be crazy not to talk to you about daily routines, time management, productivity. What are things that you do to be the most productive? I know you talked about the big ass calendar, but what are things that you do on a micro level? Do you employ certain people to do certain things? How do you stay so productive, so energized every single day? Well, I don't have a routine that at six o'clock I get up and at eight o'clock I do this. I feel like that's so much pressure and I can never, I'm not, it's just not the way I operate. I couldn't keep that. But the things that I like to do, like sauna and cold plunging, for example, is part of my routine. But it's not like I do that
Starting point is 01:15:44 every day at 10. It's just something I want to squeeze in during the day., for example, is part of my routine. But it's not like I do that every day at 10. It's just something I want to squeeze in during the day. So for starters, my day starts the night before. You hear so much about morning routines, but like evening routines. So I lay out my day for the following day in advance. So like I can't just wake up and wing it. Like the competition is too good. So like I lay out my day the night before and i
Starting point is 01:16:06 follow that schedule but that schedule changes is this in google calendar i handwrite it you handwrite it see i this is why i love talking to all different entrepreneurs you handwrite it so the night before you sit down you're like at eight o'clock there's all kinds of studies about handwriting i'm obsessed with it tell us so you sit down on just like a regular pad of paper and handwrite it. Yeah. And what are you writing down? Are you writing your goals for the day or are you writing specifically the time? No, I lay it out. So I'd be like, I'm going to go, I'm going to run from eight to 10. You know, I'm going to exercise, whatever, 10 to four, I'm working on whatever. I have a call at one and I'll lay it out. So I'm like, and I'm following it. So that's the first thing. So like, I don't wake up like, what am I doing today? What's the best use of my time? I do that every night. And I
Starting point is 01:16:48 have an assistant. So she sends it to me and I can tweak it, but I have it all laid out. That's the most important thing. And then I used to put a lot of pressure on myself day to day. And now I think in terms of weeks, let me give you an example. I'm a runner. So I'd be like, I'm going to run seven miles every day this week. But inevitably something happens. I drive to get my son, get him a strep test. I can't run. So like, oh, I set myself up for failure. So instead of that, I say like, I'm going to run 49 miles, seven, whatever, 35 miles this week. So if I miss a day, I can make it up. So if you've, if you miss seven miles, one day you could do like 10 miles the next day and whatever. I've greatly increased my odds
Starting point is 01:17:36 of success. It's like, I'm an author. I'm going to write, I'm writing a book. I'm gonna write 10 pages a day. I can never do that every day. I'm going to write 70 pages this week. So if I miss two days, I can make it up. So I'm thinking in terms of weeks versus day to day. Oh, it's much better. Much better. It takes the pressure. I have enough pressure. We don't want to put that much pressure on me every 365. I just took 365 days and I shrunk it down to 52 weeks of practice. 52 versus 365. Well, especially with the, I mean, speaking of my friends without kids, when they give me these elaborate routines, but they don't have kids yet and they have like, there's nothing that's going to derail their day.
Starting point is 01:18:14 I'm like, listen, like, I don't know. Someone gets sick. Someone kid could throw up. That's like a hundred percent. You can't, you need flexibility. And then, and then the other things for me is like, I have a list of like, I made a list of like five or 10 things that I, like if time have a list of like, I made a list of like five or 10 things that I, like if time wasn't an issue or money wasn't an issue, what do
Starting point is 01:18:30 I love to do? I love playing sports with my kids and hopefully they love it too. Hopefully I can keep it fun enough that they love it. So I want to make sure that like, and like when I had Marquis Jet, a guy that worked for me, I was single at the time, came in and he was like, I said, what'd you do this weekend? He's like, oh, I took my son to soccer. I go, how'd he do? He's like, oh, he scored nine goals.
Starting point is 01:18:52 I was like, what? Pele doesn't score nine goals. Like, what are you talking about? How'd he get so good at soccer? He's like, oh, I spent five minutes a day with him. I'm like, what? He's like, yeah, all the other kids, they have one practice a week,
Starting point is 01:19:04 and then they play in a game. But we play five minutes every day. So when we come back at the end of the month, we've spent three or four more hours, whatever the math is, more than the other kids playing soccer. And it's just compounded. He's really good. So I'm like, I'm spending five minutes a day. And I do. I'm spending 5.5. You're five? Yeah. I'm going to spend 10. No, but so that has been like a lesson I never forgot ever. There's actually something, I posted this today, called the rule of 100. And the rule of 100 states that if you spend 18 minutes a day, adults, that's 109 hours a year, 18 minutes a day, so 100 hours, let's just say, the rule of 100, in any discipline, so playing the piano,
Starting point is 01:19:52 MMA, fighting, whatever, archery, you'll be better than 95% of the world's population in that discipline. So imagine if your kids, I mean, it's not realistic, but every year they chose one thing. This year, we're going to get really good at the trampoline or whatever. By the time they're like 40, they'll be Jason Bourne. Your son will be Jason Bourne. It doesn't take a lot. It just takes consistency. So back to your question, Lauren. I made a list of the things I love to do, playing sports with my kids, Lauren. I made a list of the things I love to do. Playing sports with my kids, sauna and cold plunging, breath work. I love doing like Wim Hof breathing.
Starting point is 01:20:31 And every day I try to do like two or three of the things I love to do. Like every day, wherever it's scheduled. It's not the when, it's the what. I try to do a couple of things every day that I love to do because I show up so much better as a dad, as a husband, as a boss in meetings everywhere when I check my box. We took a sauna and a cold punch today. I went for a run. Those are two.
Starting point is 01:20:56 Those are my two vitamins, my daily vitamins. And I do that religiously every day. And you know what? I'm so enthusiastic. I have so much energy and so much zest for life because of that. And I've been doing it since I'm a frigging teenager. I didn't realize it. This wasn't something that you became successful in.
Starting point is 01:21:19 No. You always did it. And it has nothing to do with money. I love riding my bike. I love running. I love swimming. I love riding my bike. I love running. I love swimming. I love doing breath work. All the things I just mentioned,
Starting point is 01:21:30 I can't do them all every day, but I'm doing two or three of them every day. And this is crazy. When I had Marquee Jet, we flew the, I was 29, to like, we flew the who's who of pop culture,
Starting point is 01:21:44 CEOs, athletes, and entertainers on our airplanes. And I was obsessed with their habits. I'm a byproduct of this. Anytime I had a free moment, I would ask these amazing actors and athletes and CEOs, like, what time do you wake up? How do you spend your- You sound like me.
Starting point is 01:22:04 Where do you vacation? Oh, vacation, that's a good one. How do you live rich? So when I was 30, got a little older in my 30s, I had a meeting with one of our customers, this guy who's incredibly wealthy. And I said to him, I'm not gonna say his last name, I said, Jim, how do you live rich?
Starting point is 01:22:22 Like, what do you do? And he told me that every day, first he said, I wake up and I read six newspapers. Again, some of this stuff doesn't resonate with me. I'm never going to do that. But some of it did. And he went through a whole checklist of things he did. And he goes, I take three hours a day cumulative for me.
Starting point is 01:22:42 I'm like, tell me about that. He goes, yeah, like I might go, you know, read a paper for 20 minutes, go in the sauna for 20 minutes. I might go for a walk, but cumulatively throughout the 24 hours a day, cumulatively, I'll take two or three hours a day for me. And I'm like, I'm doing that. And I asked him why he's like, oh, I'm the happiest guy in the world. Like when you check the box. Now, if my wife says, I want to go to the opera, I don't want to go to the opera, Sarah. I hate the opera.
Starting point is 01:23:12 But if I did my bike ride and I'm sauna, I'm more than happy to go to the opera. Cause you already did your opera takes away from the bike ride in the sauna. I'm resenting my wife. So those two or three things, now I can go to my, I went to my daughter's softball game for two hours yesterday. It was so boring. I loved it because before that I did, I did those things for me. So I'm showing up way better as a parent and as a husband because of it. It's critical, man. I also think to perform at the level that I think
Starting point is 01:23:46 all of us want to perform at and to show up as the parents that we want to show up with, that we have to run our personal life as athletes. And an athlete wouldn't just show up to play a game. They would, they'd go to their stretcher. They, they go practice. They go meet with a psychologist, like whatever they do to get, to get in the headspace. They don't just show up and play the basketball game. Well, again,
Starting point is 01:24:09 we were talking in the sauna and we were, you know, we're no, like everybody knows, like we put a big emphasis on doing wellness things. And sometimes people have asked like, Hey, do Michael and Lauren do the really actually like do those things they talk
Starting point is 01:24:21 about? And I said, no, you don't understand like doing those things enables us to do the other things. If you didn't do those things, we couldn't do the things that maybe quote unquote we're known for. Does that make sense?
Starting point is 01:24:30 I saw it firsthand. It's like your house, like a training compound. I was like, you know, it's so funny. Like I would say- It was gnarlier, me or Goggins in the cold plunge. Let me tell you, no, your cold plunge game- No, Lauren's gnarly. Lauren is next level do you think whim
Starting point is 01:24:46 would approve you're wim hof approved really yeah you're elite you think you're elite she's gnarly she's elite no she's gnarly and and she's here's another thing like she's full conversation in it and she comes out the shivering didn't even impact. She literally said, I love to shiver. Yeah. No, she's- Listen, sometimes- You took the shiver. You freaked shivering out. I'll take it from Jesse Itzler.
Starting point is 01:25:10 No, shivering- Pull the clip and show everyone. No, listen. I will feel like I can cold plunge with the best of them. Then I'll cold plunge with my wife. And I'm like, I am a total bitch. I'm not going to lie. And this is not even to brag.
Starting point is 01:25:22 I cut it in five. No, no. I know you can. It's wild. Okay. I would be- five. No, no. I know you could. It's wild. Okay. I would be... Whim, I'm available. I would be personally remiss if I didn't ask you a selfish question.
Starting point is 01:25:33 I think a lot of the audience has maybe experienced you and knows you from speaking. And I mean this as an extreme compliment. I think you are one of the best speakers I've ever seen publicly. Not just the way that you speak, but you know how to get into the crowd. You're moving around. He pulls you in. You pull people in. It's a charisma. It's not like when you see a Jesse speech, and I've seen you speak a few times, you don't just sit up there on stage with a mic and talk behind a podium. You're really active. I always say this
Starting point is 01:26:02 on the show. One of my personal biggest fears years ago was public speaking. I obviously now speak all the time for a living and do this show. But what do you personally think makes an impactful speaker? Well, first of all, thank you. I spent a lot of time on it. You can tell. It took a lot of reps. It matters so much to me. I think the first thing is it really matters to me. I think the number one thing for anyone doing public speaking is to talk with conviction, you know? And to be, you hear the word authentic,
Starting point is 01:26:35 but to be yourself and tell, I think the things that make the biggest difference is I tell stories that only I can tell because they happen. They only happen to me. So I'm telling stories about my business journey, my bike ride, et cetera. There are things that I've experienced. The more you experience, the more you have to offer. And that alone makes me unique than the other 8 billion people in the world, because I'm not saying get comfortable being uncomfortable. Like anyone can say that. I'm saying, this is how I felt
Starting point is 01:27:08 when I rode across America and this is how I dealt with it and this is what I learned from it. This is why it's important and this is how you can do it in your life. So that's a lot different than saying, you know, a lot of people are saying things like, you have to have good habits.
Starting point is 01:27:22 No shit. How do you do that? Right. You know, like no shit. It's like saying drink water. Like when someone says, how do you get your skin like that? And they say drink water. When I was in college, I took a public speaking class.
Starting point is 01:27:34 It was a throwaway class. I needed three credits. And my friends were like, take the public speaking class. It's a joke. It's so easy. I walked in there and I was like, this is the most important class I took in all of college. My college tuition is now where I went to school at American universities, $40,000 a year. That's $160,000. If I only took that class, it would have paid for itself. And I remember my
Starting point is 01:27:58 public speaking teacher saying, giving me a framework and I still use it today. I use it in presentations and meetings. I use it in front of, on a big stage. I use it in front of my team. The first thing is I always have an icebreaker. So there's, there's a story. It doesn't have to be relevant about what I'm talking about today, but something that's either makes me vulnerable or it's funny or whatever. And it could be as simple as like, I'm making this up, but like, oh my God, I was walking in here today to do your show. And someone recognized it. Like, oh my God, I love you.
Starting point is 01:28:34 I'm a huge fan of yours, Jamie. You know, no, it's Jesse, you know? So that's like already like, that's an icebreaker. Anyway, it's great to be here. So there's like, you know, I don't think that already says I don't take myself serious. I've said, whatever. I'm using that as a bad example. So you want to have an icebreaker. Two is you want to tell people in the audience what, what it is you're talking about. People want to follow along and know what it is you're going to be talking about today. Guys today, I'm so glad we got the whole office
Starting point is 01:29:01 today. Today I want to talk about Marsh sales. Oh, okay. I know what he's going to talk about. So icebreaker, you want to tell people what you're going to talk about. Number three is you want to deliver on that promise. So whatever you tell them you're going to talk about, you want to deliver on that. And then four is you want to leave people with actionable takeaways so they can leave and actually implement something. I'm not here to entertain you. You want to leave our talk with something that you can apply into your everyday life. And that's always been the framework. And then it's just transitions between. And then for me, I'm a storyteller. I like to tell stories that have humor or emotion. I want to make people laugh. I want to make people cry.
Starting point is 01:29:43 And I want to make people think. So I try to, all that goes into the framework of, but now I do this for a living. Sure. But for anyone listening, I still think the framework of an icebreaker, giving, letting people know what you're going to talk about, delivering on that and giving them takeaways is critical. No, I think you could apply this to anything, a business lecture, you could apply it to a meeting or anything. Last quick follow-up question before that. And I think a lot of people
Starting point is 01:30:07 think about this. A lot of people have stage fright. Maybe you never had it. I don't know if you did or didn't. If you did, how did you get over it or how would you coach people to get over it? Well, I think being nervous is okay. And I think that it shows that it matters to you. I still get that, but it goes away. You know when it goes away? When you're confident. When you feel prepared, it goes away. Then it shifts to enthusiasm to deliver what you're excited to deliver.
Starting point is 01:30:39 Obviously, it comes with reps. And reps could be even in front of... When I started speaking, I took three people in my office and said, I need you for 45 minutes. I want you to critique this and tell me, and I filmed it. And I want you to tell me what, what you like, what you know, where can I make it better? Do I lose you? Is it punchy? It's an art form, man. And you can't, again, like Lauren said, like pro athletes don't just show up. They get reps, they practice. So I asked these three people and then I went back, is this better? I looked at
Starting point is 01:31:12 myself on tape. When I give a new speech now, I still film myself and then watch the whole thing. I didn't like this. It's dragging. How do I make it 10% better? This shit matters, man. How do I make it better? How can I make this better? Am I losing anybody? So I'm really diving into it. Barry Arnold Schwarzenegger, he does that too. It's very, and I mean, he's obviously incredibly successful. He watches himself speak. And I think that's such a great tip because you can actually see yourself from a different perspective. And the other thing that's important is like some people will go through it in their head. You're not doing it in your head when you're on stage. You're talking.
Starting point is 01:31:53 You talk faster in your head. So I time it. I like to hold. I don't use a head thing. Are you using a handheld mic or using a, what's it called? A lavalier or one of those things on your, what are you using? Because if you're not holding something, if you're holding something in a hand, well, then you have a free hand, but you only have one free hand because your mic's up.
Starting point is 01:32:13 So you have to practice that. If you have two free hands, that's weird. How, you know, so you have to practice what you're using. I only use handhelds. When you practice speaking, even for a presentation, you want to look around the room. When you go through your rehearsal or whatever, you're not looking in a mirror because then you're looking at yourself. You're not looking at yourself on stage. You're looking at the audience and you're not looking at your mannerisms. So I practice in front of a room of nothing, like I'm projecting out to thousands of people. And then the last thing I would say that's a tip for me is when I go into a... And maybe you guys do the same thing, I don't know. But when I'm going to speak in front of a crowd, let's say a
Starting point is 01:32:58 big crowd, I'll look at the stage. So I'll go to the back of the room or the side of the room and I'll look at the stage. And then I will, in my mind's eye, see myself on the stage looking out. So I can see, I know the size of the stage. I know the audience. I have a visual of what it's going to feel. I'm visualizing what it's going to feel like to project out to the audience
Starting point is 01:33:21 from the angle of me on the stage. That's different, very different than just walking on there for the first time. I've already been out there in my mind's eye. You understand what I'm saying? No, no. And listen, the reason I felt compelled to ask you this is I think a lot of people will see someone like yourself speak and they'll think, wow, there's just natural ability, which I'm sure there is some natural ability. But again, we've interviewed a lot of people. And what I will say is none of this stuff happens by accident. And to hear you talk about all of the different ways that you prep and to think
Starting point is 01:33:51 about this, I think it's going to trigger something in people's mind like, oh, this isn't just like some guy that rolled out of a van at a speaking event and then just showed up and won it. You know what I mean? There's a lot of prep and a lot of care. I study it. I watch talks like i said i'm i've been to i don't know maybe i gave 50 speeches this year i'm the i'm usually the only one on the on the roster that's in the back row watching the other people i will attest that you did that that's how you do it yeah when we were there no i'm not making it up no i saw you do it yeah i know and it's not like-
Starting point is 01:34:25 I'm going to steal a lot of the stuff you just said. I'm going to listen back to this clip. I really am. I already wrote it down, the framework. And by the way, I'm rooting for everybody. I'll share anything. I feel like I won the lottery. I have nothing to hide.
Starting point is 01:34:42 There's no trade secrets. There are several people in the speaking circuit, high level, that I've written their TED Talks for. I'm not going to mention them. I've written their TED Talks. And then there's people that are competitive with me on the speaking circuit who I've gone over to and said, I have a suggestion. I think you should do it this way. I couldn't care less. I'm competing with me. Well, again, because you're speaking from experiences that only happen to you. So they can't compete with that anyway. Yeah. I hope you guys crush it. Do I care? You have a calendar company called Big Ass Calendar.
Starting point is 01:35:23 Yes. You guys made me one in baby pink. It's absolutely gorgeous. It's going to sit in my office. I'm going to send you guys, you and Taylor, a picture of my calendar that's filled up with all the trips that Michael Bostick's planned. I'm going to make him do the work. I'll put the Post-its on, though. And I'm going to send you a picture.
Starting point is 01:35:41 I'm so excited to use this in my own life. I've never actually looked at my entire life from a year view and to be able to go back and look at it every single year is something I'd want to show my kids. And it's inspiring. I think it's such a great idea. So you guys made one in baby pink for me. And I asked you before this, if we could do one for our audience in baby pink. So it's on the site. You guys can go shop jetzyitzler.com slash skinny. So go shop the pink calendar. It's the big ass calendar. You guys can all get your own in pink. It's so pretty. They also have it in blue though too. Yeah. And what's great about it is it's all 365 days of the year on one page. So you can track towards goals and you can put, you know, it's super visual and humans are visual.
Starting point is 01:36:26 So for me, it's like the number one planning tool that I have. I think what I'll do is I'll like put all my post-its on it and then I'll try to show you guys how I've used mine in my office. I also want to just say that I noticed that the one that you brought of yours is sort of beat up, which tells me that you're not precious about precious about it. You bring it, you bring it around. It's not like sitting on a wall. Is that right? Yeah. It, I, I, it does sit on my wall, but I also, it travels with me too. Okay. So you're looking at it. I'm unique in that. No, I like that. I like that. I'm obsessed with that. Where can everyone find you? Where can everyone find what you're doing? Pimp yourself out, Jesse, and come back anytime.
Starting point is 01:37:06 First of all, thank you guys. And this year, I hope you go on a trip with me, Michael. You know, one of these mini adventures, we should have the same date on our calendar for something. I got to work up to your level. I got to get that endurance up. No, man. I saw you're still on a game. I think it might be the reverse.
Starting point is 01:37:20 No, I'm just on all the socials at jesseitzler and jesseitzler.com. Pretty simple. Love it. Thank you so much for coming on. I love it. Today was fun. It was fun. I loved it, man.
Starting point is 01:37:30 Thank you. Two things before you go. You can watch us now on YouTube. So you can go on YouTube, search The Skinny Confidential, and watch our entire episodes on your computer or TV. Also, you should know Michael and I are doing a him and her newsletter. So basically it's a him and her tip of the day, five days a week. And the tips are very specific as you can imagine. And then we also have a monthly favorites. So basically we
Starting point is 01:37:58 collect all our monthly favorites, everything we've bought and used and tried and put it in one monthly newsletter for you to sign up for that, go to shopskinnyconfidential.com and sign up for the newsletter. Thank you so much for listening and we'll see you next time.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.