The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Jonathan Van Ness On The State Of The World & How To Build A Career As Your Authentic Yourself

Episode Date: September 22, 2022

#498: On today's episode we are joined by Jonathan Van Ness. Jonathan aka JVN is an american hairstylist, tevelision personality, podcast host, and entrepreneur. Today JVN joins the show to discuss how to build a career as your authentic self and the current state of the world.  To connect with JVN click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential. This episode is brought to you by Wealthfront Wealthfront is a financial services company that makes building long-term wealth delightfully easy. Open an account today at www.wealthfront.com/skinny to get a $50 bonus when you invest $500 or more. This episode is brought to you by Athletic Greens You take one scoop of Athletic Greens and you're absorbing 75 high-quality vitamins, minerals, whole food supported superfoods, probiotics, and adaptogens to help start your day right. This is the best option for easy, optimal nutrition out there. Go to athleticgreens.com/SKINNY and get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D + 5 travel packs with your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by ClickUp ClickUp is the one tool to house all your tasks, projects, docs, goals, spreadsheets, and more. Whether you’re in Project Management, Engineering, Sales, Marketing or HR, ClickUp has easy to use solutions that create a more efficient work environment. Go to www.clickup.com and use code SKINNY at checkout for 15% a one year unlimited plan. This episode is brought to you by Gravity Crave better sleep? Ready for an all-around wellness upgrade? Then you need a Gravity weighted blanket. Visit GravityBlankets.com/Skinny, use code SKINNY for 15% off any Gravity product. This episode is brought to you by Everlywell The Everlywell Women’s Health Test measures eleven biomarkers known to play a role in your overall health and wellness, and checks for any abnormal levels that may be keeping you from feeling your best. Go to Everlywell.com/skinny to get 20% off an at home test. Produced by Dear Media

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to The Skinny Confidential, him and her.

A little bit luck, it's a little bit hard work, it's A little bit luck. It's a little bit hard work. It's a little bit of everything, but I just don't do anything that makes me go up. And that's been something that's been the case for a very long time. But even before that was like the 100% case, it was just so frustrating because like I would get a really long time and then have a relapse.

Like meth is really difficult and it's very addicting. And I would get like six months or like 10 months or like a year and then have a relapse. Like meth is really difficult and it's very addicting. And I would get like six months or like 10 months or like a year and then have a relapse. And it would just be this like bone crushing, like devastating experience. Welcome back, everybody. Welcome back to the Skinny Confidential Him and Her Show. That clip was from our guest of the show, Jonathan Van Ness, also known as JVN. And today we got a great show for you. Who is Jonathan Van Ness? Many of you guys, I mean, he needs no introduction, but for those that are unfamiliar, JVN is an American hairstylist, podcast host, and television personality. He is best known as the grooming expert on Netflix series Queer Eye

for his work on the web series Parody, Gay of Thrones, and for hosting Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness podcast. And like I said, Lauren and I had a ton of fun talking with him, shooting the shit, just covering a lot of ground as usual. So with that, guys, this is a long episode. I want to keep it short and simple. Welcome JVN to the Skinny Confidential Him and Her Show. This is the Skinny Confidential Him and Her. But can we talk about the brow, the makeup, the slick back hair? No, you look amazing. Hold on. First of all, I have not washed my hair.

Are you guys ready for this? Late on us. Two weeks. Good for you. Are we getting a little bit of itchies? There is so much fucking going on. Yeah, I get a little bit of itchies. And also, everyone's like, oh, how'd you get that bun?

You used the grease. Yeah, I love that. The sebum. Now, let's talk about this pre--wash scalp oil by JVN here. Okay. Can I even just tell you how good, how much you're going to love this? Go for it. So you just like put all over your scalp before you wash. So it's a pre-wash scalp oil, right?

Okay. So now there's turmeric in this and that's going to help to kind of like decongest and clarify your hair follicles on a kind of having all that like sebum and dry shampoo and like probably product in there from slicking it back. So that's fierce. Then there's also Bezambolol, which is an extract of chamomile, which is powerfully anti-breakage.

So it'll help make your hair, like, much, like, more resistant to breakage instantly. So it's, like, instantly makes your hair stronger and it's really good for your scalp. Very calming, clarifying for the scalp. You'll just really like it. Okay, so I put a few drops on this disgusting situation and then wash my hair. Yeah, I like to do

more than a few drops. Like I fill up this like whole thing, you know, like pretty full. Like, you know, like fill. You do have good hair. I would trust your hair, Rex. Yeah, all over your part. Just put it all over your part like in sections, you know, and then you just like massage it. Put it up on top of your head. Let it sit for 15 minutes

and then you wash it out. Yeah. Have you ever done a hair mask like that? I feel like you should. No, you know what? I've just, I'll take my hat off. Oh, he's going to show his hair off. He wants to show you his hair. So pretty. No, I've been getting grays lately. You see in the front. I love that. I have a lot of grays too. But what, it just started happening like a lot. That's okay.

That happens. That's hot. That's hot and pepper. We love that. We're obsessed. Yeah. You have a couple of grays on your pubes too. No, no, no. That hasn't happened yet. You keep saying that. Yes, it has. She has a much closer view. I am unclosed and personal, bitch.

She has a closer view. I can see what grays you have. Listen, we just met. I have to do that. Do I have to pull those out too? Show it out. Okay. But here's the thing.

I was getting my haircut. Oh, yeah. You really can see them. Yeah. I was getting my haircut the other day. Not your pubes. Just the hairline. My pubes are on the table right now for those that are listening can you imagine hold on i love how we have jonathan on the podcast and you take your hat

off to show him your hair yeah of course don't judge that hair looks gorgeous it was a gorgeous reveal you think i'm not gonna show my hair to him i know what i'm surprised no i was no it's like i was obsessed with the reveal because there was a full shakeout. I felt like it was fully, you were giving me herbal essence. I don't have a lot of strength, so I gotta capitalize. It was actually more like giving me like cishet man on Beyonce at a concert, you know what I'm saying?

Like the wind machine was about to turn on, like heaven couldn't wait for you, you know what I'm saying? And the wind was about to, it was so pretty. But you don't do, you should just leave the greys because I was getting my hair cut and the guy that cuts my hair was like hey man just want to let you know like all of a sudden you have a shitload yeah that's okay i feel like it's the thing is i think it's i'm gonna embrace it i'm not gonna cover mine i feel like it's just like maintenance that i don't have time for and i also feel like especially for people who have like

brown hair because like what makes up brown hair and the color wheel is red right so when you like try to like cover it i just feel like it always goes a little bit red or it goes like a little like car salesman like inky jet black and it's and so i would just so much rather some or or it needs to be like a semi-permanent color that's more just like blending so you can still see the gray but then it's like that's what you have anyway because you have two so just rock what you have yeah but then him and him and my best friend who has a huge head of hair too he told me that they don't want the kind of gray don't put your hat back on yeah i know in fact you know what you should fucking do as long as we're at it shake it put some of this air dry cream in it okay

i'll put this air dry cream it's gonna be so nice on your hair okay but like uh put like a grape amount in there what is this gonna do for? It's just a gorgeous air dry cream. There's chia seed and linseed extract in there. So that's going to increase your hold. It's going to like, it's going to accentuate your natural texture. Like this much? Yep. So you could even do a little more, but we can layer it because it's buildable.

So rub it up. Now start in the back. Start in the back. Yeah. Now work your way forward. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Look at the shine. Look at the direction. It's gorgeous. Now put in a little bit more. Okay. In the front? In the. Look at the direction. It's gorgeous. Now put in a little bit more. Okay, in the front? In the front? Yeah, start. You could do like the sides

and the back and the front. You know what? I always like to go in the front last, but that's why I like how you did it first. That's really cute. Well, that's why I just only do my hair like that. But you have such thick hair that if you don't get like underneath it

and behind it, like it won't, it's just, you got to get it everywhere because your head's like 3D. Do you want to pull your dick out right now? This is like you're getting so. Now toss it to the side.

Toss it to the side. It's like two. Yeah, there you go. Thank you. There. Oh my God. No, you stop helmeting it. Okay.

Toss it to the side. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good job.

That's really good. That's so good. Yes. Perfect. Yeah, that was really good. That was good. Okay. I want to get your hair down, but you said that it wasn't washed for two weeks.

So if it was a little like less, like was good. Okay. I want to get your hair down, but you said that it wasn't washed for two weeks. So if it was a little, like, less, like, we should. But I really want to do your hair, Cindy, because your hair, because you would have had such a hair reveal. That hair is everything, and I can see. I have gray in my hair right now. It's gorgeous. No, I need to dye it.

No, no, no, no, no, no. We dye Easter eggs. We color our hair. Okay, we color our hair. But, like, this is what it should look like right now. Don't should yourself. Do you know that when you say should, it's a form of shaming?

Okay, I'm shaming myself. You're literally, like, so stunned. That's the blonde that it should be. My God, so now. Don't should yourself. Do you know that when you say should, it's a form of shaming? Okay, I'm shaming myself. Don't shame yourself. You're literally like so stunned. That's the blonde that it should be. My God, so pretty. That's before pregnancy. Your brow game is like just always here to say I am the best.

Double tint. Double tint. Oh, that's what you do it? You have to double tint. You should make a double tint for brows. That's your next product. It's framing your face so well. It's so pretty.

I love how you just zoomed in on my Instagram. On your brows. I just had to let you know. Your brows are just so like chef's kiss. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We'll take my brows with your hair, Michael.

There's a lot of guys. Oh my God. I hope that happens. I bet it might. I bet it might. We'll see. We'll see. That baby's going to have such good fucking hair and brows.

I know. The heartburn. I feel it every single day. Okay. I want to tell the audience your whole story. You have a very interesting story. I read your book. I mean.

Which one? Both? The last one. Over the Top or Love That Story? The last one. Love That Story. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Wait, the autobiography. Well, they're both like a little bit memoirish, but the one that one's a collection of essays and the other one is over the top, which is my first book. And that's my memoir over the top. That's the one I read. Yes, yes, yes. I have to read the other one.

Yeah, that one just came out. Love that story. It just came out. Oh, OK. No, no, no, no, no. I read the one that was out a while ago. Oh, yeah, that's like two years ago. That's over the top.

OK, yeah, over the top. It's such a fucking perfect name. OK, so you got you had a really perfect name. Okay. So you had, you had a really interesting childhood. You've had an interesting life before queer. I talk to us about how you grew up, what, what it was like for you.

Did you have this amazing hair? Was your hair to your shoulders? Give us the whole. No, I always had short hair. Hey, today, always wanted this like stunning long hair, but never could grow it out because of

like the hideous beauty expectations that were thrust upon me by this gender binary and growing up in like a rural midwestern town so no always short curly hair you felt like you couldn't grow your hair because of it's not that a feeling i had to i had to get my hair cut like you know because boys go to like the mall and you get your haircut like once a month. So like and even when Hanson came out and all I wanted to do was like be all of their like baby boyfriend. I was just like, oh, my God, I love Hanson so much, especially Isaac. I was one of like the rebels. I loved Isaac. He was the oldest Hanson brother.

I don't know if you guys remember that. But anyway, I couldn't grow my hair long. It just like wasn't an option because of your parents. Yeah. Like my. But I mean, yeah, I was like mom, dad. Yeah. Couldn't go ahead. Couldn't go the hair long. So what is it like when you're having to edit who you are? Well, as a child, you don't realize that like, you don't call it having to

edit who you are, but I was having to edit who I was from a really early age. I mean, I talk about and over the top, like wanting to play dress up and like wearing those gorgeous little evening gowns with my cousins and then like being found out by my dad and being like, you know, ripped out of the evening gowns, like no evening gowns. No, you know, like it was just as I got older, I was allowed to explore it a little bit more. My mom was like, my mom got more supportive faster than my dad did. I saw everywhere in society that like, I wasn't meant to be this feminine person. I saw that from boys at school. I saw that from family members. I saw it from TV. So it was a constant reminder that like, I wasn't who I felt like I wasn't meant. I wasn't who I was meant to be. But at the same time, I was like, I'm so much fun. And I love figure skating and like geodes and like

gymnastics. And, you know, I just want to learn how to make like apple muffins. So, you know, and also like, I want to like be in the garden. So like, I've always kind of been like this and it was always kind of like, I think what I was really naturally blessed with and also had a mom who for whatever her shortcomings were, like also really did instill this like sense of like confidence and like fun. And so even if she kind of, as I got older was like, I'm not sure about this. And so even if she kind of, as I got older was like, I'm not sure about this.

And in fact, I think I tell the story and over the top of like the interpretive dance that I did in my sixth grade talent show. And my mom's like, are you sure you want to do this? Cause like, if you do this, like you're always going to be known as like the boy who did the interpretive

dance at the talent show. Like, are you sure you want to do it? And I was like, not only am I ready, honey, I'm like going to crush one of these the boy who did the interpretive dance at the talent show like are you sure you want to do it and i was like not only am i ready honey i'm like going to crush one of these little girls dreams honey because i'm going to take that what was the interpretive dance to this stunning song by jewel from the hands album if you actually look at this interview that i did with kimmel someone he like found the tape and then i'll like my first interview with like jimmy kimmel solo like without the boys from queer eye's like, so, you know, how long have you been figure skating?

So I just got into figure skating. I was always posting about it. And I was like, yeah, just like a month. And he was like, no, you've been figure skating for like 20 years. And I instantly like intrinsically just like knew I was like, they got the tape. I always do. Someone was going to find the tape and they got the tape. So I'm doing this like sock figure skating routine to Jewel.

And it was like on Kimmel and it was just insane. It was amazing. So when you do that dance, is your community open? At least is your school nice? Yeah. I mean, no one like booed. I think people were more of just like, what the fuck? I mean, I made this like t-shirt dress that had like glitter glue that had this like question mark on the front and this question mark on the back. It was very like it was very heady. I think people were just like in awe. They couldn't believe. So after you do the dance, what what what point do you feel like? Fuck what everyone else thinks. Fuck what my parents think. I'm going to do exactly what I want. I did the interpretive dance. I'm going to just be me fully. Yeah, I feel like it was never an option.

It was never an option like to not be me fully because like I just like look at me, you know, I just like I only know how to be this way. And then I kind of like a lot of gay men were going to be like, so then I was like, I tried to do my best of like a butch bro gay. Meaning because if you presented that way that at the time at least. There's just a lot of transphobia and like internalized homophobia in the gay male community.

So if you are more femme presenting, it's like, it's very hideous. So it's called like, you know, like mask for musk, like, or a mask for mask, you know, like masculine for masculine. There's like a lot of like femme shaming in the gay community. Other men in the gay community sometimes perceive people presenting femme as not the way you're supposed to present as a gay man.

Is that, I'm going to maybe, am I saying that correctly? Yeah. And so, and so when people present that way, they say that you're not gaying right in a way. Is that correct? Is that right? It's just so funny watching a straight man

like wrap his head around. I'm sorry. But I'm just trying to... It's like politically, just say like... No, no, but that's what I'm asking. It's like their passing

saying like you... Like if you're wearing like a crop top and a heel and you're like, yes, honey, they're like that type of gay. It's like, yeah, it's like don't act too gay.

Don't act too flamboyant or femme. You know, like we like men who act like men. like don't act too gay don't act too flamboyant or femme you know like we like men who act like men like if i wanted a woman i would get a woman you know that sort of like misogyny okay you know in the gay community so that's like really prevalent so then like i did like my college best at being like a you know more masculine gay which is like lol and then it's like this battle between like i think once i and i talk about this and love that story a lot but it's like once i became such a gigantic slut that like the number of people who I'd been with had like a comma in the number. I was like, fuck these guys.

Like, I'm going to do me like I want to. I'm not dressing for men anymore. I'm not acting in a way that's like acceptable to like these fucking guys. I want to be me and I want to love who I am. And so that was like a really interesting journey and learning to love myself. So after middle school, you go to high school and are you still you're embracing yourself? You're not on TV yet. Like talk to us about the chunk before you're not on TV. Yes. I was like a cheerleader in high school. I like was obsessed with cheerleading. It was a really hard time. It was like a really difficult time, but I also had fun. Why was it a difficult time? Just because I was a very queer person growing up

in a town of 40,000 people, a rural city on the Mississippi River in central Illinois. So do you think if you grew up in, let's say, West Hollywood or LA or something, and it was now, do you think it would have been a totally different experience? It would have been a totally different experience then. But what about now in 2022? Are you like happy with where we're headed? I'm not as worried about like kids in like urban spaces. It's like generally more accepting. Not that homophobia doesn't happen in schools and urban spaces because it very much does. But no, I'm not that happy with where we're headed. I think that we're taught as a queer community to settle for the crumbs that are given to us. And no, I'm not happy. We've had

increased rates of violence against queer people every year since 2016. There's been more anti-trans legislation passed and debated. It's been raising every single year but 2021 it's like could it get worse and then 2022 we've they've already passed more this year in april than they did in all of last year and last year was record-breaking so no and i think that there's also too much of this like and no offense to you and just but just as someone who is a queer public figure i get asked this question a lot of like well aren't you happy it's like better like it's like there's too much of this rush to be like, well, look how much better it's getting when in reality, like there's really no correlation between representation and then

improved quality of queer people's lives. You know, there's no correlation between like representation and legislation, like for example, because right now it's like we have, or maybe there is maybe the correlation is that as we get increased representation we keep pissing these people off in conservative spaces so they are increasing legislation to like that directly harms our community it's almost like the louder one side gets the louder the other side gets in response it's like this pendulum that like you know we see swinging so and i think also with representation like there is just still i mean there is an increased queer representation in holly Hollywood and in movies and TV, but it is still,

if you look at the amount of queer people in that make up the public and then the amount of like queer represent representation that you see on TV, it still isn't, you know, where it is like in reality. I, I don't know enough about it. Cause like,

I'm obviously not in your shoes. That's why I wanted to know what you think. Let's treat it as a fringe group when it's not a fringe group. I also think that social media, while maybe it does make some things better, it also, at the same time, like you're saying, it's a pendulum. It can make it worse. Yeah. And it's just, well, I think that social media is very devoid of context.

It's all about sound, you know, like sound bites and like little bits and like, and like, you know, what can you get in 15 seconds, 30 seconds or a minute? And unfortunately, a lot of these conversations, like you're not going to get the full picture of what's happening in, you know, 15, 30 seconds or 60, you know? So I think that, and also like the algorithms

that run social media are like, it all comes down to money because it's like however much, you know, so I think that and also like the algorithms that run social media are like, it all comes down to money because it's like however much, you know, followers and however much engagement it's like, I think really learning or being like kind, if that doesn't lead to engagement, it's not. So I just think that we're like chasing a lot of things that like don't necessarily make people like more kind or more well-rounded or more like into equity yeah and it's like the death of nuance as well right we're it's like someone will take this conversation it's gonna be a long conversation 45 minutes hour maybe a little longer they'll pull what five six minutes of whatever the most sensational clips are probably me stumbling

around like terms and saying the wrong thing right they won't pull all of the other stuff and i think that's a problem because you have a lot of very young and also old impressionable people that are getting their information out from those bites and not the full context. But it's the job of the person to go out and find the whole context. I think people need to take accountability themselves to go actually do their own research and be their own guru. Sure. But most people are lazy and they're not going to do that, right? They're going to just pull the most sensational sound clips. And that's going to be their point of view on life. When you decide to move out of Mississippi, why?

As Illinois, but it was just like on the Mississippi River. But yes. Oh, my God. No, I did. Geography isn't my strong suit either. No, so I ran like hell out of there as fast as I could. I graduated early from high school, went to the University of Arizona,

Tucson, Wildcat. When were you there? 2004 and 2005. So was I. I got there 2005. Yeah, I was there like 4 or 5. I dropped out by Christmas. That was a wild place. It was wild, honey. I got real like four or five. I dropped out by Christmas. Then I became... It was a wild place.

It was wild, honey. And over the top, I got real wild there in Tucson. So then I went to hair school, which is always what I really wanted to do. And I moved to Minneapolis. I go to hair school at the eBay Institute. Then I moved back to Arizona, Phoenix that time. And then I end up going to LA. I get my first job as an assistant.

Work in LA for like three years. Is this like celebrities? Is this like, what kind of LA is this? It's like, I'm an assistant in a very prestigious salon, lots of celebrities, lots of learning. I, cause then part of why I moved to LA was because like, I just couldn't like grow as a hairstylist. Like I was like kind of teaching myself doing a lot of classes, but it was like the era of like Kelly Clarkson, Chunky Highlight. And I really wanted to learn how to balayage. I really wanted to learn how to create looks that like I just couldn't figure out how like it was. Victoria's Secret was very like the thing at the time.

And I like was looking at like Alessandra Ambrosio and I was looking at like those models. I mean, like, how do they get their color like this? Like, I can't everything I do looks like fucking piano keys. Like, I couldn't figure out how to do like blended hair color. So I moved to LA. I become an assistant. I learned so much. Then my stepdad gets diagnosed with cancer.

He ends up passing away. I moved to St. Louis to be closer to them. All hell breaks loose at like 25. That's when I get diagnosed with HIV. Then I end up moving back to California. Wait, hold on. We can't just skip over that. You're 25 years old and you find out that you're diagnosed with HIV.

And this what year is this? 2012. Which is it's we've exponentially learned more about it since then. So in 2012, were you indifferent? Were you freaking out? Were you what was your energy? Yeah, I mean, it was devastating. I was dealing with meth addiction and I just lost my stepdad. And it was just a culmination of years of just years of struggle and a lot of unprocessed trauma.

So yeah, I mean, but once I found out that I had it, it was kind of the impetus of what started me to really focus on recovery and really get into recovery more. I'd was kind of the impetus of what started me to like really focus on recovery and really like get into recovery more. I'd already like kind of started to scratch the surface, but that kind of caused me to like really focus on getting it together. When you heard that you were HIV positive, did you automatically stop doing drugs or was it slow? It was like it was like it was back and forth for a little bit. And I still smoke weed, but like I've very luckily and well, it's actually not luckily it's like, well, it's a little bit luck. It's a little bit hard work. It's a little bit of everything, but I just don't do anything that makes me go up. And that's been something that's been the case for

a very long time. But even before that was like the a hundred percent case, it was just so frustrating. Cause like I would get a really long time and then have a relapse like I could go like so as to say that like I and it doesn't really matter like what kind of meth addict you are like. And meth was the drug of choice, wasn't alcohol or anything? No, I mean, alcohol, it's like it didn't help. It was meth was the one that was like, this is going to kill you. It was, you know, but meth is really difficult and it's very addicting. And I would get like six months or like 10 months or like a year and then have a relapse. And it would just be this like bone crushing, like devastating experience. Do you remember your first experience?

Was it like a catalyst that were you engaging in other substances before? And then just kind of like wrong place, wrong time. Like there was just my stepdad was dying. I was like in a relationship that was like just kind of doomed. It was my first love. And like I was just like devastated. And then it was kind of like wrong place, wrong time. I was in a relationship that was just kind of doomed. It was my first love. And I was just devastated. And then it was just kind of like wrong place, wrong time. I was like, I'll try it. And then it was like...

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Again, that is athleticgreens.com slash skinny to take ownership over your health and pick the ultimate daily nutrition insurance. Enjoy. What do you do when you're diagnosed with HIV? Do you have to call your old partner? For someone that has no context of how that feels, I can only imagine that's a lot for a 25-year-old to handle. Yeah, it's a lot for anyone to handle. No, I mean, it depends on what state you're in. So every state has its own thing. Missouri's is particularly cruel and overwhelming. You basically sign a piece of paper that says that if you ever don't disclose to anyone now knowing that you have it, you would be considered a a bioterrorist and then it's a felony. And it's like, so they really like scare the shit out of you. But what became a bigger

issue and what was more scary. And I mean, I just closed my partners, but it's like a lot of times if you are, you know, participating in drug use and you're in that kind of culture, you're like not knowing who your partners are. You're meeting them at like, you know, crazy spaces. You're like not knowing who the fuck these people are like. And that was certainly the case for me. But with the bigger issue wasn't I write about this extensively and over the top. And then I do another essay about that and love that story about the HIV safety net, which is like, you know, once you find out you have it like that's if you're living in poverty, it's like, how do you access your medication? If you don't have health insurance, HIV medications, like it can be like, you know, 1000, 2000, $3,000 a month. It's like crazy how do you access your medication? If you don't have health insurance, HIV medications, like it can be like, you know,

1000, 2000, $3,000 a month. It's like crazy. And if you're dealing with homelessness, if you're living in poverty and it's like, and it's really frustrating because if with access to antiretroviral medication, which is like what you take as someone who's positive, once you achieve and maintain an undetectable viral load, which means that like, once like when they test you, like there's not like there's not enough like viral load to test positive. Like it's an undetectable viral load.

You're not contagious or you're not. You can't transmit the virus sexually. So it's like when you're undetectable, you're not transmittable. So and not only that, when you achieve and maintain an undetectable viral load, you can live like life expectancy from time of diagnosis is 50 to 75 years. You can live a full life. So even if you're born with HIV, it's like it's not even considered like it's not considered a terminal illness. It's considered a chronic illness. And now we have like PrEP, which actually PrEP was like authorized like two months after I got HIV, which is like timing. But like PrEP is like a pill. It's like it's a birth control. You take this pill once a day and you could like have unprotected sex with like 50 million people, all of whom have HIV.

And it's like it's as effective as condom. It's actually like it's like ninety nine point nine percent effective. So every once in a while you'll read in the news that there's like a breakthrough case from prep, like where someone was adherent to their prep and then they still got it because there are like but I mean, like literally that happens, like all the people on PrEP, which is like millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and millions of people, there's like a handful of breakthrough cases a year. So it's like PrEP is like change the game. Like I have this one client whose hair I did for years, who is a nurse practitioner at a clinic in West Hollywood. And before PrEP, they averaged 30 to 50 new HIV infections a month. After PrEP, it was three

to five. Wow. So it reduced new HIV infections by like over 90%. So PrEP was a game changer. The HIV safety net differs majorly depending on where you live. So if you're in Missouri, it's really different than if you're in California. And that's really different than if you're in Alaska. And that's really different than if you're in Florida or Texas or wherever you are. So it's like massively different systems to navigate. And all of those systems require like access to the internet, a car. Because if you're living in rural Texas and your next closest place is like San Antonio or Austin, but you live like an hour away from there and you don't have a car, how are you going to the doctor? How are you getting your every three month checkup?

How are you getting your pills? And then people will say, well, like, because I mean, I've talked about this very publicly and I talk about it on Instagram a lot. I talk about it a lot. And people will say like, oh, you know, that's not my problem. Like I didn't go get HIV. Like I don't people are like that is like the sort of like carelessness that we're talking about.

But it's like this last year was the first year that new HIV infections were greater in heterosexual people than they were in men who have sex with men. Is that because of drug use or is that because one, it's because of prep because queer people are on prep and we're getting tested. The other thing is that like more and more straight men are having open relationships. They're having sex with men.

It's also a little bit of drug use, but really it's like straight people aren't as straight as, you know, they want to say that they are not on prep and they, so they don't know. Right. And it's a combination of things. There's no like one thing, but the point is, is that like HIV affects everyone and it doesn't know if it's going into gay people or straight people, you know, it's like, it's a virus. I also think in the gay community, it seems like there's a lot of education around it, whereas the straight community, they kind of like they almost put their nose up to it like, oh, we don't need to be educated, but you do need to be educated. Absolutely. And it's also like what if it's like your kid or your

family member that's like coming into contact? And it's like it's really the people who don't know they have HIV that are like those are the people like aren't on medication. They have really high viral loads and like are out there having partners. And that's how you get it. Well, I imagine a lot of people that are straight and don't use drugs think that they can never catch it, right? They think they're immune. But it's like one person, but it takes one person to one night at the bar and you go home with one person who you don't know. It takes one time. I have one friend who got HIV from the very first person he ever had sex with when he was 17 years old. So it's it doesn't. That's what I'm saying. It takes one time. It's one exposure. You go home and and the amount of women who get HIV

from their partner is staggering. So the partner's cheating on like the wife. Yeah. And comes back home and has sex. Yes. And then it's a husband and wife. Yes. And comes back home and has sex. Yes. And then it's a husband and wife. Yes. Huh. I think what we say about drugs is I get what you're saying and their sensitivity, but I think what we're saying is people that are, especially if you're using drugs.

There's not sensitivity around it. I'm just saying that like people too often associate HIV with drug use. And that is just not the case. Sure. But also it's regular sex too. I think a lot of people too associate it just with anal and it's not just anal. It's also regular sex.

It's just like receiving. It's like your mucosal membrane. If you get a whole bunch of cum all up in your vagina or your butthole with all that mucosal membrane, it's not great. I think the reason people say it though is like... But intravenous drug use is a thing. It ups your chances. But I also just think that it's like... But that's the thing. It's not great. I think the reason people say it, though, is like... But intravenous drug use is a thing. It ups your chances, right?

But I also just think that it's like... But that's the thing. It's like you might not be a drug user, and you might think that that guy's real cute, or that lady's real cute, and then you go home with them, and then you fuck, and then you might get exposed to HIV,

and then you have HIV. And so that's what I'm saying. It's like drug use does increase a person's chances, but that doesn't make people who don't use drugs any less. Agree. Any less of a risk. I actually think this conversation that we're having with my husband and I on air is really important

because it shows that there is ignorance in the straight community. And like it for me. It's also do you feel bad? It's in the gay community, too. OK, there's so much ignorance and stigma in the gay community, too. It's me... It's also, do you feel bad? It's in the gay community too. Okay. There's so much ignorance and stigma in the gay community too. It's like everywhere.

There's just like stigma everywhere. Well, listen, we've done 500 or so of these and this is the first time we've talked about this subject. And definitely we're both ignorant to the subject. But I think many of our listeners are probably also ignorant to it. Which is why I like this medium

because this is the point about nuance. Like a lot of these conversations and information is not readily available in mainstream outlets, right? The only way a lot of people start figuring this stuff out is by having a conversation with someone like yourself. It's cool that you're opening up and talking about this. It's important. And love that story I say, and this is so true. It's like, if I didn't know I had HIV, I wouldn't know I have it. As to say, I've only gotten cuter. I've only gotten better at gymnastics. I have like more energy than ever.

Like, I look amazing. Like, and for the amount of your interpretive dance, it's never better. But like, I mean, I'm a stand up comedian and I like it occurred to me like halfway through my first tour. I was like, because I guess a former cheerleader, we do this thing where like once a year after your cheer career, it's usually like a drunk bar trick. You're like, oh, my God, I want to see you do a backflip. And it's usually like on concrete or like in an unsafe place.

So it's like a once a year thing. I just so happened to, for my 2018 check-in, did it on stage in Portland, Oregon in front of a crowd of like 3000 people. And I was like, oh my God, you guys want to see me do a backflip? And they were like, no, no, we don't want you to hurt yourself. And I was like, no, no, no, I'm a former cheerleader. I got this. So I do my standing back handspring and then it occurs to me. I was like, bitch, you have like a captive audience in your shows. Like, why don't you do like a full on gymnastics routine? So then I started taking with me on tour this like 30 foot long by nine foot wide, like bouncy track, full leotards. It didn't used to be a leotard. It's evolved. It used to be like turtlenecks with tights. Then I was like, no, bitch, you are Ali Raisman, non-binary incarnate.

Okay, you're doing leotards. So then I switched to leotards. And now I open my comedy, like my stand-up comedy show with me and a full leotard. I do this full gymnastics routine. Then I do like 10 minutes in my leotard afterwards. My current set is about me turning into like a non-binary. I have this intrusive daydream where I turn into a non-binary slut spy and I suffocate Vladimir Putin in my fupa. And then right when the Kremlin

is like when the Kremlin agents are about to like come get me for like suffocating Vladimir Putin, Lara Croft, played by Angelina Jolie, OG, busts in the window. She gets one of those like cute like arrow things, shoots out the the window it's like into the building across the way she picks me up like a baby she whisks me to safety there's a helicopter right there and we're out and i'm safe hold on so it's like if i don't get an invite to this show i'm gonna be really offended this is it's really it's a good show that was that was one of the most creative in depth the detailed yeah situations i've. And that's not even the whole joke. Because also, within that joke,

the way I seduce Vladimir is in manner of Jamie Lee Curtis to Arnold Schwarzenegger in True Lies, when she does that sexy, black, little black dress with the bedpost. That's what I do right before I suffocate him in my fupa. So it's all about references. You know what I'm saying? All about references. I love it.

But the point is, we just love it. But the point is, is that, you know, wow. You know, we just love gymnastics. We're all about like HIV advocacy. It's, you know, I'm a I'm a multifaceted human. If you could have two minutes or three minutes on the mic to just tell everyone, clear up any misconceptions about HIV, what would you say? Well, call call us out. Call Michael. Like, be like, this is I feel like I you say? Well, call us out. Call Michael.

Like, be like, this is. I feel like I already did. No, no, no. But like, tell us like what I want to know, like call out the misconceptions that you see every day. But it's important that it's a problem of the past. It's still very much like an issue of now because it's really a matter of like resources. I'm able to like see my doctor every three months and I'm able to take my pill every day.

So it's like, I'm good. Like I'm not, and not that people who are living with HIV are a threat, but it's like, I don't want anyone else to have to go through what I went through. So it's like, if you have HIV, it's really no biggie. You just gotta go get your test and then you get your doctor

and you get your pill once a day. And that's it. Like you get your blood levels done. It's no big, like you're- I think there's so much fear around it. Yeah. Like I like I say, if I didn't know I had it, I wouldn't know I had it. I feel great. I look great. I have no side effects from my medication. Like. So how do people know they have it? You got to get tested. So so it's not like you have all these symptoms and you're like, oh, I need to get tested. It's like you got to get tested and then they tell you this is what I don't get. So there's like there's like 20. I think there's like a quarter of people

who get HIV will experience symptoms. And I was one of them. It's called like acute something, something. And so like I had fever. I had like flu like symptoms. I actually like passed out doing one of my clients like hair because I like really wasn't feeling good. I just got like lightheaded. I mean, when that happened, I was like, this can't be good because I've been being like a big old slut. And I was like, you know, no offense, because like I'm obsessed with sluts and like very sex positive. But it was like, I could be in a little trubs just based off of what I've the activities that I've been up to. But I was like, hopefully not. You know, I thought I could be in trouble before. And then I was like, OK, it's like maybe

I'll be fine. But then I went to Planned Parenthood and the test was positive. And it was like, fuck. So then you got to get your doctor. You got to go get further testing, blah, blah, blah. But that's other thing I would say that that's why it's so important to support Planned Parenthood. Because for people who don't have access to healthcare, if they don't have insurance, Planned Parenthood and especially the Trump administration really wreaked havoc on, it was called, I think it's called Title 10. But it was this grant that like provided like, millions and millions and millions

of STI tests to like people living in poverty that like, because if you don't know that you have HIV, and if like, you can't get a doctor, it's like you're just out here like spreading it. And really what we want is for people who have HIV to like, get a doctor get their medication so that a they can live a long, healthy life. And B, they aren't contagious to their sexual partners. Like that's, that's, we know what we're going for. Here's the other thing. Before I had money, right?

Like before Queer Eye, it was really stressful because you have to like, your taxes have to be done on time every year. You like have to turn it in, you know, like every HIV safety net is different. So California's was like, you have to have your taxes in order to qualify for. Yes. And like, and like California, it's like based off of your birthday. So it's like every year, like by my birthday, I had to make sure that like my money was right. And that like, you know, I had like your case worker was like all together and that like your forms are signed, sealed and delivered. Cause like you don't want to lose access to that med. And for me, I was really

lucky because I never like got so deep in my addiction that like I was like, fuck it. Like because I was like having like a relapse now and then, but I wasn't like a daily user. If someone's like really in the throes of addiction, whether it's meth, heroin, alcoholism, or even if they're just like, if they're dealing, experiencing homelessness and they like can't get access to internet or car or whatever, like that's how it gets fucked up. Cause like I had to jump through a lot of hoops to get my medication and to get access to that care, which required me to have like internet and a car and like the wherewithal to like navigate those systems, which like can be confusing. There's like a lot of stuff to click. And you like, if you have like literacy issues or if you have like, navigate those systems, which, like, can be confusing. There's, like, a lot of stuff to click. And, like, if you have, like, literacy issues or if you have, like, it's just a lot of stuff

to figure out. There's a lot of hoops, it sounds like. Yeah, it's, like, not, like, easy. And it should be, like, much easier, especially because it's a fucking nightmare, like, if you get it. So it's, like, we should just be making it easier so that, like, people can have their doctor and have their medication. It just shouldn't be.

It's such an example of, like, why we really need Medicare for all, because the closest analogy I can think of, and this is not a good analogy, but I feel like it makes sense to people. It's like if you'd and with Medicare for all, it's like people are like, well, I don't want to spend all that money. Like I like my private thing and it's like whatever. Trying to save money on that is like saying like, I want to go to the bar and I want to drink and I don't want to pay for a cab. Like I don't want to like I'm just I'm just going to drive. I'm just going to drive drunk. It's probably going to be OK. And then you get a DUI if you don't kill someone. But let's just say you get a DUI and that was like a twenty thousand dollar ride versus if you would have just gotten a cab. You know what I'm saying? By the time you pay those like lawyer fees and the court

fees and you serve your time, that was like a 10th out. It's like you should just taking that $20 cab. So it's like the price that we pay for everyone not having health care. That's why when you go to have a baby, it's $20,000 on the bill if you don't have insurance. So like what do people do that don't have insurance? They just don't pay. And then the people who do that's like that's why these bills and these costs are so fucked up. So it's like it's a huge issue. It's like that I don't really totally understand how to wrap my head around. But once you've experienced living with HIV and you had to operate these systems, it's like,

wow. Because it's also not even HIV. It's gonorrhea, it's syphilis, it's every STI. All sorts of things. Yeah, yeah. It's like you should be able to go to the doctor and get pills to treat yourself. I think everybody probably agrees having medical care for everybody is a smart thing. I think where people get so frustrated is there's trillions and trillions of dollars spent by our government every year. And it's like, you look at those dollars and you're like, how can you not solve this part of it? This is clearly important, right? People's health. I think if you got everybody together, rational lines, like,

yeah, we all want medical care, but we want responsible people to actually figure this out and spend it right instead of wasting all the money so that you know because every year goes by the debt goes up and like where the fuck are you guys spending all this money how do we not have this solved as an evolved country right yeah it's it's very strange right yeah like people i see right now people getting mad at elon they're like uh we spent 44 billion on twitter i don't care about that but they're like look what you could have done with the 44 billion and there's other people people who are like, our government spends a couple trillion a year and they can't figure it out. What makes you think one guy is going to figure it out? Yeah, there's a lot to unpack there.

No, but there's a ton to unpack. But I think that's the frustration in this country is like, we can all sit here and be like, yeah, we all want medical care. That makes a ton of sense. We should all have it. Everybody should have access, especially medicine for people that are struggling. It should be much more accessible and much easier. Why can't we figure that out? It seems very strange that we can't figure that out as a country. It's because people don't want to pay. I think it's not that they don't want to pay. They don't want to give it to people that are going to waste the money. No, literally, they don't want to pay. Sure. But I think if people knew that if they paid, the money was going to be spent responsibly,

they'd be okay with that. The problem is we keep going into the cycle where we pay a lot. Debt keeps going up and up and up. No, no, no, no, no. You're not hearing me. In Wyoming and Tennessee and Arkansas and even in many pockets of urban spaces, people do not want to pay for people living with HIV. They don't want to pay. Sure, for HIV specifically. They also don't want to pay for people living with HIV. They don't want to pay.

Sure, for HIV specifically. They don't want to. But they also don't want to pay for like drug stuff because they're like, that's your problem. You're the one addicted to drugs, not me. That doesn't affect me. It's like this way. They don't probably want to pay for someone's gonorrhea.

And also because they consider that wasteful. Like for too many people, they are like, I want health care for everyone. But if it's for the trans people and for the queer people and for the gonorrhea. They want to handpick. That's a question of morality, honey. That's a waste to me.

I don't know. So what's the answer? I don't know. I fully agree that there's a segment of people like that that don't want to. But don't you agree that probably the majority of rational people, gay, straight, trans, queer, whatever, think that most people should have access to healthcare and that our government should be able to figure that out. I think there's fringe groups, of course,

on extremes that, you know, let's call these people racist, prejudiced people, right? But most people would agree that this country would be in a better state if everybody had access to healthcare. Yeah. It's just, we have a bunch of wackos that can't figure out how to get it done. I don't think, I think that's where you lose me. Cause I feel like we do have people who can get it done, but there's also been people who are like systemically blocking those things from getting done, which is like a very like multi-layered intersectional issue. Cause it's like, there's corporations that are standing in the way of that reform. There's also politicians that are standing in the way of that reform.

I think we're saying the same thing. I think that's the frustration is that the majority of rational people in this country want it done. But our people that are in positions of power to get it done are blocking and not getting it done. I also think, too, like there's a lot of people that there's more people than you think who are racist and homophobic. And that's an issue, too, which is horrible. That's like the starting issue is that there's people in these places that you're saying everywhere that need to get rid of it. Also, too, it's like even like what is considered health care, you know, like abortion is health care.

But for so many politicians that are like really right wing, it's like, no, you know, my faith tells me that abortion is murder. And like, so that's not health care and my faith also tells me that trans being trans is a sin and being gay is a sin so that's not health care like i don't want to so it really like because everything is like a lot of well not everything but a lot of conversations here start with like morality and like faith and religion and that's what you know if this country is like founded by Puritans who like wanted to like really just fucking jerk off for Jesus, you know what I'm saying? So it's like, that's at the root of like so much of our stuff

is that like people aren't because like healthcare is like just kind of like science too, right? It's like if people are out here getting exposed to like all these different things and they don't have a place and we've lived through pandemic like a respiratory pandemic and people are still doubling down on like personal freedom like i don't want to like i don't want to wear a mask i don't want like vaccines i don't want like people to like still like and so that's where i'm like i don't even know what the answer is because like we just went through a fucking like respiratory pandemic that like affected everyone and they still were like get fucked you know it's nuanced because i think people just don't want to be told what to do

right and that's the thing is like if and i think this is where you get in trouble is like you you have i think the majority of people are rational like-minded people and you have these extreme sides that are the loudest and to your point earlier social makes those voices even louder so you think that that's the majority of the world when probably a lot of us are sitting in the middle like, hey, what the fuck? We just want this solved. You got these wackos on the side. And because clicks go to the most extreme

and the moderate ones don't get the clicks, it's like you just don't see all those moderate ones, which is, yeah. And conversations like this also don't get seen, right? They're like, no, we want to see two people going at it, yelling, arguing. We don't want to see two people actually agree. Rip your pants off and show us your pubes. Yeah, that's oh that's my point i thought that would get it

spicier you see i actually do have a spicy question give it to us i what i like about this podcast is we can go from talking about politics to pubes to how to give a blow job yeah what you said earlier that you were a slut. I bet you have some tips. On how to give a good blowjob? Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm going to transition this to that. Okay, well.

Okay, here's my. Get very detailed. Okay, well, I feel like it's. Close your eyes. You know what it is? Do you want to show us? No. Michael, pull it out.

It's about being like. It's about being like responsive to what your partner is responding to so I don't think there's like a one size fits all for blowjobs like some people

love it when you like spit all over that thing and get it like super spitty and like smack yourself in the face with it you know other people like it

like not so messy you know they want it a little bit like they don't really like all that extra you know they want that all that performance

you know so it's like ice cream. Yeah, it's like you got to like you figure out like what there was. So I like to kind of like do a smorgasbord, like try all of it. You know, I'm like, are you into like the base? Are you into the head? Are you into like the eye contact? Are you into the like? And now here's the sidebar.

If they're not into the eye contact and like those eyes are closed, it always sends up a red flag for me. What? Wait, I don't like like those eyes are closed, it always sends up a red flag for me. What? Wait, wait, wait. I don't like this. If the guy's eyes are closed, why are you not looking at me down here being like a slut for you?

Because they're imagining someone else. But it's... I don't trust it. I don't trust it. Do you think it's cheaty vibes? I just...

No, I don't think it's cheaty. No connection. Yes. Huh. It's like signs of a wider issue, honey. Okay. I agree with that. So it's like if of a wider issue, honey. Okay. I agree with that.

So it's like if my man's eyes are closed, I'll like squeeze his balls and I'm like, I'm down here. Oh, shit. Working for you. So here's a question. Yeah. Start out soft and go hard or just start out hard? Or does it depend?

I always start off with, oh, and see, this is where I feel bad for women because like I always start with what I like. And then if they don't like that. What do you like? I kind of I'm like Bailey. My assistant's like literally in the room and I feel like she's going to I can't. OK, like H.R. Someone's going to call H.R.

She's literally pink. I've never seen her. I've never seen her turn that color. This whole podcast. No, talking about HIV and stuff is fine. Like she's heard that before. It's just like not my personal sexual preferences. We don't have to talk about blood cancer.

So, I guess I would just say, this is how I can say we're stuck crazy. You told me that, you said that you, you said that you're a slut, and I want to know all the tips. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me the slutty tips. Okay, so, okay, okay. So, what I would say is, is, like, for, like, if you're, okay, because, like, that's not your first, like, long-term serious partner, right? No. So, the most experience that you've had with a dick, like with like your first dick

that wasn't, you know, obviously because you guys don't have one. He was my first dick. I was the first. No, no, no, no. He was my first dick and then we like broke up.

Big gap between them. Big gap. 12 years old. So I guess the point there that I was trying to say was is that like whatever your most intimate knowledges of like what one person's

likes are, you know, you could start with that with your like you know future partners you know because like use that other dick as a reference since you know on account you don't have one okay you know so it's like if the first guy liked it more like medium pressure and like you know pretty sloppy do that with the next one but if they don't respond to then you're like oh and also ask questions i think it's good to ask questions how do i ask questions with the dick and do you like that or it's good to ask questions. How do I ask questions with a dick in my mouth? Do you like that? Or is it like that?

You know? It's like, you know, you just gotta ask. You gotta ask. You know what I'm saying? Are you getting a hard on right now?

No, but I think there's a sound advice, Lauren. There's a sound advice. I feel like... She's literally pregnant with your child. Excuse me. Well, this is because

she figured that first part out. Hold on. I feel like I gave a great blowjob. Listen. No complaints. me. Well, this is because she figured that first part out. Hold on. I feel like I give a great blowjob. Listen. No complaints. There's no complaints in this department.

Yeah, I feel like that is one thing that I can give myself a 10 out of 10. I always am open to tips. I'm never going to be closed off. I will say from past experiences, and I got to be delicate about this.

Don't include me in these past experiences. There is maybe nothing worse than a bad one meaning like it's like a toothy toothy not good also when there's no if somebody feels like they don't want to be doing it

and you just like no and it's like they don't like it at all I will say a lot of people don't like to do it you have this is a tip that I have I like like to do it I embrace most gays are like, really like, or like,

really like, or like, just really like are into it. Okay. I'm into it too. And I think that if you're not into it, the guy can feel that energy. I can blanketly say this.

I think as a man that I have yet to meet a man that does not enjoy it. If it's done right. I, I like, I think like I hear sometimes, you know, I'm so used to talking to gay people that I thought you were going to say like I've yet to

meet a man who doesn't love to suck dick. That's what I thought. But it's like you didn't say that. I'm just like so not used to it. You know what I'm saying? I'm just not used to it. But I think it's an important thing. Okay but wait not to like change the subject so like hardcore again but can we talk about how good the air dry cream looks in your hair now that it's been like a little bit? No look at

like the texture. Can you tell me what it did for me? Like it feels good. Yeah. So, okay. Well, yes. So, but really the thing about our line that is really super cool, like literally it's called hemisqualene and it's so, cause like our bodies have squalene, right? But then as we get older, it dissipates like it's production. So then there's squalene, which is like basically a molecular like copy of squalene. So we love products that have squalene in it because like your body readily absorbs it. So that's fierce. Then hemi means half.

So really hemi squalene is just like a half-sized molecule of squalene. Get it? So hemi squalene, half-sized molecule of squalene. Get it? Got it. Yeah. So but historically, squalene was harvested from shark liver, not fierce. So our parent company figured out this way to take sugarcane and ferment sugarcane. Got it. So, but historically, squalane was harvested from shark liver, not fierce.

So our parent company figured out this way to take sugar cane and ferment sugar cane. And they made a molecular copy of squalane, but it's from sugar cane honey. So our hemisqualane is made in the same way. So it's sugar cane derived. And you don't have to fuck with the sharks. Don't have to fuck with the sharks. Plus, all of the things that we make have the hemisqualene and they're silicone-free. So, silicones really plasticate and live on the outside of your hair.

And it prevents the other ingredients that are coupled with it from penetrating that barrier. So, silicones aren't great. Sulfates, we don't love. So, everything that we make is silicone-free, sulfate-free. I was going to ask you that. Yeah, silicone-free, sulfate-free. But hemisqualene, it instantly, it like it nourishes your hair. It gives it instant moisture. It makes it instantly stronger.

It's just like a really powerhouse ingredient. So that was a long explanation is to say, what is air dried cream doing for you? First, that hemisqualene, it's giving you so much shine and it's going to improve the integrity of your hair. Then it has chia seed and linseed in it. Those are the natural texture enhancers. So that's going to give you hold. So it's going to give you like buildable hold.

So if you like put a little bit on, it's like light hold. You put a little bit more, it's going to get more medium hold. So if I normally slick my hair back. Do like a layer when it's wet. Let it like when it's halfway dry. Do another little bit. Yes. Okay.

Do like another little like bit. And then when it's all the way dry, do another little bit. So the more you use them. And actually, if you don't have time for all that, you're like, I just need to do it wet and then it's done. Just use more.

So it's like- I'll spend the time. Because it's buildable. You know what I'm saying though? So it's like a little, it's like a little bit of hold, medium amount, more. You're not going to be happy

with what I've been using normally. So that's, and then there's also Moringa seed oil in that and that's super shiny. So it's giving you shine. It's giving you hold. No, I need some, you're not,

like I said, you're not going to be happy with what I normally use. So that's the air dry cream. And I love that. Now, do you, I feel like in that one picture, you showed me a view with your gorgeous hair down and blow dried. Do you, do you blow out your hair? Is that what happens? I don't blow out my hair because I, well, I do blow out my hair. Someone, someone helps me because I like to save my time. Will they come to your house and do it? Okay. So just have them the next time your person comes, have them try out the instant recovery serum. It's my favorite heat protectant of all time. It's so lightweight. It's so lightweight. It's so lightweight. It really just, we smell it. It smells so good.

It's so lightweight. And even if you don't heat style your hair, this is great for a first layer because it will balance your porosity. So it will balance because you're not like ourlinks and ends are drier and like more catchy they're more prone to breakage because they're like on the ends of your hair you know like your mid-links and ends are more prone to breakage i have a lot of breakage right now so even if you don't so even if you don't blow dry if you're just going to air dry put instant recovery serum on your hair because it's going to protect and strengthen your ends but then it really protects it if you heat style it. From blowjobs to blow dries. Yes, it's what we're doing over here. But this stuff is so fucking good. It also has the hemisqualine in there, but then it also has charged lemon protein and niacinamide, which are really, really,

really powerful skincare ingredients, which protect from so much heat and so much antioxidant. It's so good. Wait, how are you not on QVC? Well, I have my own hair care line and we don't do QVC. You would be, well, if you need like some kind of- No, it's to QVC. But we're going to put it on there? Amazon Live?

We're on jvnhair.com. And we're also on Sephora. I'm saying how are you not like- I go on my Instagram all the time and talk about it. Got it, okay. Yeah, and I love, I mean, I'm so proud of it.

The audience- This is like the culmination of my whole like career. I mean, my first love was hair. I like love doing hair since I was a little baby. You're extremely passionate. I love it so much. And it really was like, it's what made me realize I was an artist. It's like really, it's like really what kind of delivered me from like addiction. And like, it was hairdressing. Like I always had hairdressing and my clients and like that community to come back to. It really did change my life.

It's been like my North star. So to get to make this line has just been like, this is like beyond my wildest dreams. Cause I never thought I'd be in a position to like found my own hair. I would have told you in sixth grade when you were doing the interpretive dance. I would have never would have known. We should have gone to school together.

I would have told you. I wish you would. I wish I would have, but please have your hair person uses it. So it's wet hair, then blow it out. And then you'll love it so much. Okay. And I also really want you to pre-wash your elbows. I think you'll love it so much. Okay. Okay. That two products. And then also after you have the baby and body shampoo and conditioner, cause your hair is going to shed a little bit more than you're used to and

everything's going to be fine, but you should especially use instant recovery serum and embody shampoo and conditioner. Cause it's just going to like get you through your life and it's going to be great. Can you guys message me exactly what to do? Well, I brought you the entire line. Okay. You get to go home with the entire line. I love it. I'm going to introduce you to a tip

that has streamlined my life, increased my productivity, but most importantly, increased the efficiency of the Skinny Confidential team. Okay. So I was introduced to this thing called ClickUp. And I cannot even tell you how much it has helped me with my team. My team is growing.

We're like a team of 20 now. So we have tasks, projects, documents, goals, spreadsheets, to-do lists. You get it. And ClickUp basically streamlines this. So it began with the premise that productivity was broken. There's too many tools. And I feel like everyone feels like that. There's too many tools to keep track of. There's too many things in separate ecosystems. We got all these apps. It was too much. So ClickUp's the one tool to house all your stuff, your tasks, your projects,

your docs, your goals, your spreadsheets, your to-do list. And it's built for teams from one. So if you're working with one person or it's built to handle teams of a thousand. So it's sort of everything if you're running a business. I cannot tell you how much this will help you with project managing, engineering, sales, marketing, HR, all the things. ClickUp's an easy solution to create the most efficient work environment. You're going to join more than 800,000 highly productive teams today using ClickUp. And of course, we have a code. Use code SKINNY to get 15% off ClickUp's massive unlimited plan for a year, meaning you can start reclaiming your time for under $5 a month. Sign up today at ClickUp.com and use code SKINNY.

And hurry, you guys, because this offer does end soon. Non-negotiable for me is I have to have my morning routine and my nighttime routine. You know this. I take it very seriously. And one of the things that has been in my nighttime routine forever, and I will do every single night forever, is a weighted blanket. I just cannot tell you, if you are having anxiety and you're winding down and you put that weighted blanket on top of you, it just stimulates the feeling of being hugged

and it releases those relaxing hormones. It just helps you like chill out and recover and drift off. So here's the move. I have my red light in my room. I don't turn on any lights. I have my red light. And then I have this little machine that mimics the sun going down. And I put on 528 hertz and I get in my bed under my gravity blanket and I drift off to sleep while reading my Kindle. No phone. It is such a game changer. So if you're craving better sleep, gravity has got you covered. You should know they make the only blanket that's scientifically proven to improve sleep quality by an independent study. And it just gives you a more restful sleep, less anxious, less stressed. You just wind down into

a stress-free sleep. And I need all the sleep I can get right now with a newborn. And if you run hot like I do, no worries. They have a cooling blanket and the cover is made from ultra cooling eucalyptus. So you're comfy. You're drifting off into a dream sleep. We have an exclusive deal for you. All skinny confidential listeners get 15% off any gravity product. They make weighted robes, sleep masks, and a bunch of other cool stuff. I personally recommend their weighted cooling blanket. You can visit gravityblankets.com slash skinny and use code skinny and get ready for the best sleep of your life. The audience would be mad if I didn't ask you about Queer Eye.

I'll ask you about it. Okay. First of all, how did you get cast? I mean, I know how you got cast, actually. How did you get approached? Well, I didn't get approached. I approached them. Oh, I want to hear this because a lot of people who are listening want to hustle.

And that sounds like a hustle. So how did you approach them? So I had been starring in Gay of Thrones, which was like my first like kind of break into the entertainment industry. I was recapping Game of Thrones and we were putting it on Funny or Die and it had been like nominated for an Emmy.

And I was like, I had like, I was like a 30,000 follower queen on Instagram, like circa 2016. So I was like starting to like get a little bit of a foothold. Then I read online because it had leaked that they were rebooting Queer Eye. And I was like, I like get a little bit of a foothold. Then I read online because it had leaked that they were rebooting Queer Eye. And I was like, I was born to do this.

And the tagline for the reboot was turning red states pink one makeover at a time. And I was like, I'm even more meant to do this because I'm like from a cornfield. And I've been dealing with like with conservatism my whole life. Like I was meant to do this. Like I can do this. So I approached them. I got an interview. I went to the interview.

I looked a mess because I'd been doing hair all day long. I looked down at my shirt when I got there and I realized, and I tell the story and love that story, that I was like covered in hair. And so I had to like smuggle duct tape out of like the front desks. Like I had to be like, look over there and like get this roll of duct tape and go into the bathroom so I could like get all the like people's hair off of me because I'd done like 15 heads of hair that day. So they they seemed to like me and then I got to

come back for this like virtual go see or this virtual like audition and I got called back from that and then there was like a in-person chemistry audition and that took place in it was in Glendale, California and like an embassy suites and it was like one of those ballrooms and it was like a two-day audition that like I've never had that much heartburn and I've never felt that much pressure in my life.

It was so intense because I kept seeing my life flash before my eyes. And I was like, oh my God, like this could be the thing. And then I got it. But how confident were you

when you were doing it? Were you like, I'm getting this? I was very not confident. I was portraying confidence, but on the inside, I was like, thousands of people tried out for this. And then like in every round but on the inside, I was like, thousands of people tried out for this. And then

every round I kept getting through, I was like, I kept thinking that I kept thinking, I was like, oh my god, this is why you've been so obsessed with America's Next Top Model. Every single episode of that show has prepared you for this audition. It's true. Because at first, because I remember they sent this email

on the eve of night one, and they were like because there was like a cocktail hour and then like two days in a row so on that cocktail hour night they were like mix mingle don't be a wall flower like this is our opportunity as producers to like see how you guys get on so like mingle so like really people were like mingling each other to death, like just a lot of, you know, so the night one I was like mingling. But then on the beginning of the first full day, like I remember we were like all in this like green room and there was like 40 people and everyone was like kind of separated by like their vertical or their like specialty. And I remember thinking like, I need to be by myself right now because like I know I'm

going to have to perform today. Like we're going to be doing like groupings and we're going to be on camera and we're going to be by myself right now because like, I know I'm going to have to perform today. Like we're going to be doing like groupings and we're going to be on camera and we're going to be like, I just, and I knew that there was nobody watching. And I also at that point, and I also knew that like, I have a tendency to come out of the gate really hard and then lose steam. And that's happened to me at like other auditions. Cause I like, I've been auditioning for things for like years because of gay of Thrones, like looking for like, what was that next thing? And so I just feel like a lot of the no's and a lot of the rejection that I'd experienced like through Gay of Thrones kind of prepared me for that. And so I just was like

really calm and I was like really inside myself at the beginning. I just like became very aware. I was like, if there's someone in here from casting, you need to turn on. If there's not, you need to rest. And so marathon. And so, yes. And so I was just, and I just, cause I was watching people just like burn themselves out. Just like, just, I could just see it. And I was just, and I also just kept telling myself like, everything's fine. I was like, I just, and it was, it was during the Oscars and E entertainment, like had hired me to do like a makeover for the Oscars, like on day one or like the next day. And I was like, you're going to do your Oscars things. Like, even if you don't get like, you working like if it's not this will be the other thing I just was like calm

and then after day one I was like well they flew out all these people I think there was like 40 or 50 people and I was like there's no way they're going to cut a lot of people because like they flew all these people from all over the place so like they're probably going to want to have like a full like time with them and I found out at the end of the first day they were like well we've cut half the people like you're coming back tomorrow so like

then there's only 20 people for day two. And I was like, oh, my God, it cut a shitload. That's a lot. And so then like day two, it became like a lot more real. And then like I walked into two and I was like, this is not America's best friend race. Like I because like then I was like, I'm not like talking to any of these other like beauty experts anymore, honey, because then I was like the writings on the wall. Like you need to make friends with the other ones.

Like make friends with the other people. So then I was like, and then Tan, honey, had this camel colored sweater on. This like camel sweater. And I was like, who is that gray haired fucking like fox with that like camel colored turtleneck? And so then we made friends. And then I saw like, and then it was really funny because Bobby at the beginning of, I can't remember if it was day one or day two, but whenever it was, we had bonded because he accidentally called the creator of the show and his husband, like the opposite names.

Like he called the creator of the show, his husband's name and like, you know, mix up their names. And so he came over and he was like, oh my God, I messed up their names. Oh my God, what should I do? It's like, they're going to, they are going to hate me. I'm never going to get the job. Like, oh my God, they're going to hate me. I can mess up their names.

I'm like such an idiot. Like, how can I do I was like smack smack get it together girl I was like it's not that big of a deal like they're gonna be fine and literally like I looked away to like see who he was talking about for like two seconds as I was trying to calm him down and before I could turn back to him he already had like beelined and like left me in mid-sentence to go explain to them like how sorry he was for messing up their names and i was just like so we already bought because i was like honey he's like an anxiety like nervous nelly so i loved him loved tan then i met auntie and then like caramo and so we all kind of just like found each other and kind of made friends were you guys actually friends on the show or was there drama be like like off the show that we didn't see well this

is like all like at the very beginning we hadn't see well this is like all like at the very beginning we hadn't even filmed anything yet i'm just still like in the audition so like we all definitely like i feel like we gravitated people could see that there was synergy with yeah yeah and then i mean there wasn't i mean from where i was i know that like people have like i've read whatever everyone else has read no i mean from where, from where I was, it was like, we were all moving to Atlanta. Like, it was all of our kind of, like, first big project. I was, like, so excited to be there. And we all still are so excited to be there.

So it's like, I think that it's like, I don't feel it's like drama per se, as much as it was like everyone learning, like, what it's like to work together. And like, we're all really passionate about our jobs. So I feel like it's like, we all want to do our best. So I feel like it's like we all want to do our best so I feel like it's just it wasn't like dramas more just like passion what what is it like though to be with a group of people where you can go out to lunch and then all of a sudden when you go out to lunch people are coming up to you and recognizing you guys

definitely was different I remember when in season one and that like shot of us like running in the car and like walking across that like rainbow crosswalk. Like when we were shooting that Atlanta, people were like, get the fuck out of the way. Like, cause like no one knew who we were then. So it's like, and they're like, what are you filming? Like, what is this? And we were like, it's a Burlington coat factory commercial. Like, we're just like, we're just doing coats and like, people were like, get this fucking commercial out. Like we're just trying to brunch. Cause it was like a Saturday, which is, it is funny. Cause it's like so different, but yeah, no, it's like definitely it was surreal. That part I never, I never like saw coming and I didn't know

like how different that would be. How do you handle it now when people come up to you? It depends on like, cause you know, you're still a human and you're not a robot. So I feel like 95% of the time I'm like, I mean, actually I think I probably always am gracious, but if I'm ever like, Oh my God, I don't want to take a picture. Or like if I'm just like going through something or if like, you know, because sometimes like people will come up to you if you're like fully distressed. Like I've talked about that and love that story. Like when my like I had a cat like tragically die was like the most traumatic thing that's like ever happened to me, like fell out of the window of my apartment building in Philadelphia. And this woman like came up to and she was like, oh, my God, can I have a picture?

I was like, get my god, can I have a picture? I was like, I'm like, I just like ran away like Anna Faris and scary movie when she like ran out of every room screaming. I'm not crazy. It was like that. And then like, that's when I was like, and then I did that to like three more people that day. And then I was like, I'm gonna have to say something on Instagram because like, I'm not going to be normal for like weeks. And I know that and I just like need people to like back the fuck off right now. And so I did. And yeah and yeah so it's like if you're having a hard time it's like but I feel so bad about it for like days at a time like I'll literally like this one lady like I was weird people are excited to see you yeah but like if it's like you know eight in the morning like and I'm actually my morning

person but I was like I never really drink alcohol very much anymore but I was really hung over in England when I was there on tour the last time and then I was like at Harrods like early in the morning with my husband and my stylist, like trying to get something. And like, I was like on my phone looking for something. And then this lady just like stood right in front of me. Like, well, you know, like if you're looking down, but you can like see someone's legs and they just like stand right in front of you so that you can't like, you know, something like I looked up and I was like, hi. And she was like, just had like her camera already on and was just like, just bursting, just like really intense, like bursting energy and like four inches from my face. And we still were in COVID. And I was just like,

let's just take the picture. And she was like, and I was like, oh my God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that we took the picture. And then I literally like turned on my settings on Instagram so that I could accept DMs from people who like don't follow me because I turned that setting on because I had to find her to apologize because I couldn't stop thinking about her and I just instinctually knew she was going to message me so I turned it on and then like four hours later she messaged me and I had to send her a video and I was like I'm so sorry like I like I'm sorry I was like tired I like didn't feel good I'm sorry I was being a bitch I'm like you're really sweet I'm like so now I just like I'm like I always try to be like sweet sweet Sally because I know I'm gonna feel like shit if I'm like mean to someone um and I

don't really disappoint people from the vision but you are still just like a person and it's like when you have five cats and a husband and like a family and like shit gets stressful sometimes when you're like a non-binary HIV positive JLo with like a hair care company and like books and stuff you're like sometimes you just get stressed out you know sometimes when you're like a non-binary HIV positive J-Lo with like a hair care company and like books and stuff. You just get stressed out, you know, and like you're just like your head's not there. But 95% of the time, that's not the space that I am. And what's your husband's energy compared to yours? Like what's really what does he do? Like funny. Where'd you guys meet? We met on Instagram. Oh, my God. Wait, he slid into your DMs or you slid into his? He slid into mine. What do he say? I like your jumper.

Oh. Where did you get it? And I was like, I know you're trying to beat, honey. All right. This is a question we get asked a lot. At-home lab tests. All the time. This is in my DMs.

I know Michael gets this probably even more than me. And Everly Well has you covered. Basically, it's a digital healthcare designed for you. And they have 30 at-home lab tests. So you can choose which test you want, whatever makes sense for you. So say you're getting a rash and you want to figure out what it is. You could maybe take the food sensitivity test. I personally took the women's health test because I'm postpartum. So I wanted to just see a lay of the land. So I knew which supplements to take, which vitamins, which minerals, and it just helps you have knowledge and knowledge is power, especially when it comes to your body. The one that I like, okay, it's called the women's health test and it measures 11 biomarkers that are known

to play a role in your overall health and wellness. It checks for any abnormal levels that can be keeping you from feeling your best. The best part of this, though, is it's at home, you guys, because no one wants to go to the doctor, get their blood tested, run into someone. It's just like too much work. This is so easy. It comes straight to your door.

You collect your sample, and then you use this included prepaid shipping label. I mailed it back quickly. It went to a certified lab. And then you get doctor reviewed results that are sent to you on your phone or device in just days. The whole process was honestly like very skinny confidential ask. It was efficient, as I always say. And you can share the results with your own primary doctor if you want so they can help sort of guide you. So what I did is I sent my results to a doctor that's helping me with my supplements and minerals and everything postpartum. One million people have trusted Everly Well to support their health and wellness goals, and you should too.

And for all listeners of the show, Everly Well is offering a special discount of 20% off an at-home lab test. You're going to go to everlywell.com slash skinny. That's everlywell.com slash skinny. You get 20% off your next at-home lab test. everlywell.com slash skinny. So are you guys like in love? He's the one, everything. Well, we're married. Well, what do you think marriage means i don't

know i'm just wondering like i just want to you and are you uh it depends on the day i'm being honest oh my god yeah it depends on the day i love this like radical last week he was complaining about a cold and i'm about to burst and so you know last week i could you know the iconic words of my aunt lisa r.i.p i loved her so much she used to say men don't suffer well and i have to say on the whole it tends to like a little bit be true sometimes okay so what's your husband's energy though compared to yours calm he's like calm he's very funny and he's very like he has like a lot of energy but he's like he's really into like gardening and like sculpture and pottery and art he's really creative

more of a calm energy yeah but I love him so much he's so sweet he's like a really like cute ginger I bet you guys are fun at a dinner party I think again it depends on what mood I'm in but I'm usually because you know what the thing with dinner parties is sometimes I'm just like I need to soak

a joint and like go home you know it's a social anxiety it's like yeah it's like social anxiety what's your sign aries ah i love aries michaels and aries what's your birthday march 28th oh my god we had the same birthday Michael And we had the same birthday As the Lady Gaga We do? Yes As who? Lady Gaga How could you not know that? We should have started

The show that way This is only like The third time in my life That I've had the same birthday As someone in real life It's a good birthday Oh my god What's your husband's sign?

He's a Virgo Right? Right August 23rd It's August 23rd But I'm always bad At other people's signs I'm pretty sure he's Virgo That's so cute You guys 23rd. It's August 23rd. But I'm always bad at other people's signs. I'm pretty sure he's Virgo.

That's so cute. You guys have the same But you know, I actually, I'm listening to you talk and we're different in a lot of ways, but I'm probably the same way.

Like I'm like, do we like, I like the alone time. I need the alone time. No, well, you need to recharge to have a personality. What year were you born?

87. We're the literal same age exactly. We were born on the same day, the same year. That's fucking weird. We just turned 35. That's weird. And you guys went to college together. Went to the same college too.

So that's what I'm saying. Because I graduated a year early and that's why you were there the year after me. That's fucking weird. And that also must be why we had the same body type. Hey, do you know what? That's, hey, that is weird, right? Same year, same day. The, do it. Do you know what? That's, but hey, that is weird, right? Yeah.

Same year, same day. The same literal age. The exact same age. That's pretty cool. I want to leave it at that. And it's never happened to me before. That's cute. Never happened to me before.

I'm going to, do you know what? I'm sorry. And we also kind of look alike. We have the same eye color. Do you know what I'm going to do now, though? Honestly, my dinner party conversation

is going to be, you know, me and Jonathan Van Ness, same day, same birthday. Okay, but wait. Do you know what this means? What does this mean? Do you guys know

if you're having a boy or a girl yet yes but the audience doesn't know oh well can can we just like incorporate Vanessa into their name somewhere since it's like

my last name with an A on it it's kind of pretty and we have the same birthday I will take it give it to the suggestion box can you like a second middle name I am a little tripped out right now

it's like a second middle name that is weird right a second but you'd be like but but but do you feel like I like a beat like a tempo let me out right now. That's like a second middle name. That is weird, right? A second. But you'd be like, but, but, but. Do you feel like, Okay, I like a beat, like a tempo.

Let me ask you this. Do you feel like 20, 30% of the time, We're so shook right now, we can't even see that. I can't believe that you guys have the same birthday. I have to ask him a personal question.

I almost saw it in my chair. Do you feel like 20, 30% of the time, you can like really turn it on, but like 70% of the time, you kind of just need to be yourself and recharge in the kitchen? I'm the opposite of that

because of my job. But you're the opposite of that because of your job. You're the opposite of that because of your job. But I'm saying in your ideal world, if you could go through five days the way you plan your day. You seem like you have to recharge to have this big of a personality. Yeah, I do. But I can't do that 70% of the time, honey. I'm like a career woman. I have to work.

Of course. So do you like your alone time? I'm obsessed with my alone time. Okay, see. There's something. I'm obsessed with my alone. Okay, see it's okay See there's something I'm telling you now It's like a married person with like four cats and a dog and like a whole company to run and it's like I really You've got a lot going on grumpy if you don't get your alone time. Yeah, that's when Vanessa comes out And you guys both love blowjobs What are the guys crazy and you guys both

have great hair we do we both love air dry cream by JVN hair yeah you both no but that is weird same day

same birthday it's literally it never happened to me we need to like you know what we need to do we need to get like a conference of everyone whose birthday is March 28th

and 1987 have you done all your like oh I have enough with Michael. Do we all look the same? The anagram test. What are those tests that we all do?

Are we all the same? Like, what if they were all just like us? Hey, can I tell you something else? Can I tell you something else really weird? Yeah. My dad's from Illinois. Oh, here we go. Here we go.

Do we have the same dad? Okay. Are we twins? Could we? No. I mean, I feel so bad if we were like both had a shared womb because they'd be like, we're both really big. Yeah what if he is big what if you wait and you guys are definitely having like a singular baby what do you mean well like it's not twins from what

we've seen don't even put that into but wouldn't that be cute if there's like a little teeny tiny one hiding i'll call you you you can take that i don't know why I think that is so cute, but I just think there is something. I've always thought this. I've always thought there's something so cute about like accidental twins. I mean, it's I get that it's cute, but it sounds like a big challenge. I don't know

if we're ready. And I guess someone who's like never. I'm like, I'm pretty sure I'm never want to like have kids. So it's like it's like all fun and games for me because it's like fun dad. Like I am to parenting what you guys are to HIV. It's like it's never going to have kids. So it's all fun and games for me. Because I'm not going to deal with it. You would be a fun dad. I am to parenting what you guys are to HIV. It's never going to affect me. I don't have to deal with that. Not after this conversation, you opened my eyes. And maybe now I'll be a parent.

So maybe now we all know more about each other's world. I will say, you opened my eyes. And I think not only did you open my eyes and Michael's eyes, you opened the audience's eyes. And I think that that's really important. And this conversation to me was like so enlightening. Can I just say something else? Not to keep interrupting you, but it's like an Aries thing and you get it. We know that now. Oh, trust me. I get it. I also get it too because I live with one. The amount of times that people say to me like, oh my God, I want to be your bestie. Like,

are we besties now? And then I'm like, yeah, we are. You know, it's like, so you think you're the first person that ever fucking said that to me? You know what I mean? Honestly, after finding out that we are literal birthday twins, I feel like I want to be like literally,

I'm like, I think I'm like the godparent of your child for some reason. I'm feeling this like, are we like, are we like Austin? We're connected now for some kind of weird reason.

We're like, it's like, I'm feeling this like. As long as you don't bring the tarantula that you found in your house. No, it's dead and it's at the American Museum of Natural History now anyway.

Okay. It's like pinned up in there in their archives. I mean bring the tarantula that you found in your house. No, it's dead. And it's at the American Museum of Natural History now anyway. It's like pinned up in there in their archives. I mean, that tarantula. You are going to see tarantulas though. And it's in May and June. And it's a thing. And awesome. Like you just, you have to like prepare. That's a price that we pay for saving taxes.

There was a lot of scorpions in Tucson too, actually. Oh, but what's different about those though? Those are dangerous. Well, they won't kill you, but those hurt. You got to check your shoes when you put them on. That's actually Jessica Ware. The small ones. Those ones are tan.

The southwestern Arizona, New Mexico ones, those are tan bark scorpions. Ours are dark brown. Ours don't sting as bad. They don't hurt as bad. They don't get as big. Wait, if you get stung by a scorpion in Austin, what do you do? Do you have to go to the doctor? No, unless you're randomly super allergic to it. No, no, no.

It's not like that. They're not serious. Although, you know, it's disgusting. Snake season, though, is now. I hate fucking snakes so much. That I'll freak out for. Although, I did see a rat snake in our backyard. I did.

I'm sorry. Well, you got to be careful. There's actually some poisonous ones right here. But you know what's even more disgusting? What? Okay, so like I said, we had chickens, right? We have chickens. Yesterday, my husband was hanging up a fly trap in the chicken coop and he looked up and a fucking rat had got stuck in the wire of the chicken coop and its top half

of its body, its teeth are like, like it was hanging. It's like top of its body. Do you know why? It's from the water that you're feeding the chickens so someone told me i wanted a bird bath like for the for the birds to like eat and and go in the bath but the rats use it the rats use it well and bird baths too also i have a bird bath so we have to take that bird bath out yeah the rats love it there's a bird bath by the kitchen uh the chickens not far yeah it's like it's like they're on each side of each other but they aren't like right next to each other

but you obviously have water for the chickens but this rat got fucking stuck and got like yeah there is one in their cage

but the rat got stuck like fucking hanging halfway out of the it was like the grossest thing you've ever seen well this is one of the most eclectic conversations that we've ever had

on this podcast can it go down as history as like the most eclectic of the 500 yeah it was very diverse and it has to be because it's the first time

you've ever met someone that has your exact same birthday in here. Is it the first time you've ever met somebody? I've met other people at the same birthday but not the same year.

That's a different level. No, no. I've met people with the same birthday. They're not the same year. That's weird. You guys are twins. Hey, can I tell you

one more weird thing before we go? Yes. Okay. Let me tell you something very strange. I have to have a nap after this.

I'm like worn out. Maybe you won't think it's strange, but I find it strange. My best friend, Lauren's and Lauren's best friend. Oh my God, Michael. This is family tree. No, no, no, no. I love it. I love it.

I'm interested. Just he's our best friend. I need a nap after this sentence. He's about to say. He's our best friend. His dad's birthday is June 30th. And I've known this guy since you were 12. Lauren's Mr. Trump.

His birthday since his dad's birthday is June 30th. My dad's birthday is June 30th. And I've known this guy since you were 12, Lawrence M. Sartrov. His birthday since, his dad's birthday is June 30th. My dad's birthday is June 30th. Lawrence's dad's birthday is June 30th. That's fucking weird, right? Okay, that is, that is pretty cool.

I've had enough birthday talk for the day. But isn't that weird? What are the chances that I marry somebody whose birthday, whose dad's birthday is the same as my dad's birthday?

What are the chances that are both our best friends dad's birthday? Okay, I got one. I got one. I got one. Okay, go. But this is Stanley Trees and I need you to like pretend to be interested okay

okay okay ready okay go okay how do i say this so that it's the audience has lost us okay okay both of my grandmothers hey it's kind of sad but it's interesting both of my grandmothers died on their youngest grandchild's birthday so my i'm the youngest of the grandchildren on my dad's side. She died on March 28th. Okay. Then my mom's mom died on my younger cousin's birthday and she's the youngest on that side. So both my grandmas died on their youngest grandchild's birthday. What are the fucking chances of that? Very strange. But this is what I'll say. When you guys talk about birthdays, no, it reminds me of when people tell me their dreams. I'm like, I don't even

care about the dreams. I always think that they're just lying to me, which is what makes me mad about that. But what I just said is interesting. You know what? I have to go to the bathroom. I have to go use my scalp oil. Do you find sometimes that you have narcissistic tendencies?

You think that was narcissistic? Because I think that's interesting. No, no. I think I... Because I'm saying I will now never forget your birthday because I'll never forget my birthday. Let's just tell each other about like weird dates in our families for like three hours. It's like three hours later, dot, dot, dot.

My aunt was born in West Virginia. The two products that I would tell you guys to check out after he just showed me his GVn products are j pronunciation jvn you got it you got it it's fine jvn yeah oh my god you got it it's fine it's pregnancy brain jvn are the pre-wash scalp oil and the instant recovery serum those are the two that i'm gonna try you obviously have i need you to try the Embody shampoo and conditioner. No, you can't overwhelm me. I get overwhelmed. I need you to. No, give me two homework assignments.

You're bringing a human into the world. I have faith in you that you are capable. Okay, so... It's these two. Okay, I'm going to try the shampoo and... These two. This is what you need. You need this Embody. Okay, I'm going to try the Embody. Because you like volume and body, don't you? Yes, who doesn't? Yeah, it's like because most volumizing Embody shampoos and condition to try the Embody. Because you like volume and body, don't you? Yes. Who doesn't? Yeah.

It's like, it's because most volumizing and body shampoos and conditioners dry the shit out of your hair. This has aloe leaf juice. Your hair does look really good. So it leaves moisture in it, but then it also makes it bigger. Okay. But it leaves it like not tangly and like nice. Like it leaves it like smooth and nice, but big. So the pre-wash scalp oil, the instant recovery serum.

And Embody shampoo and conditioner. Can we do a giveaway for our audience yes okay we're gonna do a whole line the whole line and your book that just came out can we do signed copy yeah all you have to do is follow oh jvn jvn on instagram yeah and tell us your favorite part of this episode on my latest post at Lauren Bostic. Where can everyone find you? Your line? Pimp yourself out. Oh, yeah.

Your book. At JVN. Yeah, you. I'm going to just step back. And then also, you can follow the hair line at JVNHair.com or who says that?

At JVNHair on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, all the things we're doing the most over there. And also, you can just go on JonathanVanessa.com

slash book to get my books. All right, you guys, we are booking guests for the fall and we would love to know who you want on the show. If you want to win some JVN products, all you have to do is go to my latest Instagram at Lauren Bostic and tell me who you want on the show. I'm constantly screenshotting your comments and sending them to my team so we can book the best guests for the show. Definitely let us know. And

also be sure to follow me on Tik TOK at Lauren Bostic on that note. We'll see you next time.