The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Julia Haart On Her Unorthodox Life, Divorce, Strict Religion, Empowerment, & Her Second Season On Netflix

Episode Date: December 5, 2022

#522: On today's episode we are joined by Julia Haart. Julia is an American fashion designer, entrepreneur, and author. She was the former chief executive officer of Elite Model Management. She is also the star of Netflix's My Unorthodox Life. Julia has been an outspoken advocate for women's rights and has also shared her experience with Orthodox Judaism. Today Julia joins the show to discuss her unorthodox life, her recent divorce, her life experience with "ultra-Orthodox Judaism, female epowerment, and what viewers can expect on her second season of her Netflix series.  To connect with Julia Haart click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential & WOO More Play Woo is sexual wellness brand on a mission to inspire people to have better sex, and more of it. Check out the infamous Woo Vibez vibrator or their brand new Shag Juice at woomoreplay.com and use code LETSSHAG for 20% off. This episode is brought to you by Sakara Sakara is a wellness company that makes thoughtfully curated meals and supplements to be your source for a feel better holiday. Use code SKINNY at checkout to get 20% off at sakara.com/skinny This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp BetterHelp is online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat-only therapy sessions. So you don’t have to see anyone on camera if you don’t want to. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy & you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/skinny . This episode is brought to you by Nutrafol Nutrafol is the #1 dermatologist - recommended hair growth supplement, clinically shown to improve your hair growth, thickness, and visible scalp coverage. Go to nutrafol.com and use code SKINNYHAIR at checkout to save $15 off your first month's subscription. This episode is brought to you by Hiya Health Hiya vitamins are designed for kids of all ages and sent straight to your door so parents have one less thing to worry about. While most children's vitamins are filled with sugar and can contribute to a variety of health issues, Hiya is made with zero sugar and zero gummy junk, yet it tastes great and is perfect for picky eaters. Go to hiyahealth.com/SKINNY to receive 50% off of your first order. This episode is brought to you by Kion Take Kion Aminos every day, any time of day, to naturally boost energy, to satiate hunger, and to support fat loss and a toned physique. Go to getkion.com/SKINNY to save 20% of monthly deliveries and 10% off a one-time purchase. Produced by Dear Media

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and it gently cleanses your vagina for before, for after, for in between. And it's also silky. So those are the products that you should check out. Happy holiday shopping. You're going to go to WooMorePlay and use the code Let's Shag. That's WooMorePlay.com, code Let's Shag for 20% off. One of the things I love most about this show is I actually learn stuff on this show. What a big surprise. One of the things that I learned most recently is how severely lacking I was in amino acids. We just did episode 507 with Angelo Keeley talking all about the importance of aminos. I get to have these phenomenal guests on that teach us things. And one of those things, like I said, it's all about aminos. Keon Aminos is my fundamental supplement for fitness. That is the one supplement to help my body stay toned all year round. I found

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supplement for fitness, Keon Aminos. Enjoy. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her. Aha! When Hurricane Sandy happened, I was called into synagogue with a bunch of other women, and we were told that Hurricane Sandy was our fault. It's insane. But the concept was our wigs were too beautiful. We were still attracting male

attention. Therefore, we were causing men to sin. And that's why God sent Hurricane Sandy to punish us. And it was our fault. I mean, it sounds comical, but that's literally what I was told. Welcome back to the Skimmy Confidential Him and Her podcast. Today, we have someone who I very much admire. We have Julia Hart on the podcast. She is an entrepreneur, an author, a mother of four, a fashion designer, and she was the co-owner and former executive chief officer of Elite World Group. So this episode is intense. And we had only slotted for an hour on her schedule. So we had to sort of cut the interview short. So know when you're listening to this that there's a whole nother part.

And we are actually going to go back to New York City and do a part two. I think you're going to be on to New York City and do a part two. I think you're going to be on the edge of your seat during this episode. So just know she's coming back on. Well, this is our mistake. We thought we could cram this full story into an hour and we just needed more time. So again, we're going to do this again. But this woman has an incredible story. And Easter egg here, Lauren, I actually met Julia way before you back in the day. Julia and I are old friends. I'm just kidding, Julia. But we did meet in her days at Elite World Group. And we had been communicating on the early days of Dear Media back when she was running that business. And it was weird when she came into the studio. I was like, hey, we've met before actually. And

there's this whole full circle moment. So really enjoyed talking to her. And again, this is a pretty wild story once you get deep into it. So I saw My Unorthodox Life, which is her show. It's like a reality show that she's on on Netflix. I watched the first season of it and definitely reached out to interview her. We were kind of back and forth. And then I had the opportunity to read her book, Brazen. It's so good. And you can really understand her point of view through the book. I gobbled up the book. If you're looking for a book to read, I would highly recommend going and checking out this

book. I could not put it down. It's so interesting. In fact, her life is just the craziest life. Anyway, you got to read it. And then we decided to get her on the podcast because she is having her second season of her reality show, My Unorthodox Life on Netflix come out. And I got the opportunity to watch it before it comes out. Oh, you got the inside scoop, huh? And I got the inside scoop. And you guys, it's so good. I think a lot of people who have just seen the show quickly or a preview are judging her story.

And what I would encourage you to do before judging a book by its cover is read her actual book or watch the show. Or just listen to this podcast because we cover it all. Or listen to this podcast because we go everywhere. Okay, so Julia was controlled from a young age by ultra-Orthodox Judaism and she talks about that experience. She talks about a marriage that she was in that would rule her life. And she talks about having four children and what this was like. She wasn't allowed to sing in public. She wasn't allowed to run in shorts. She wasn't allowed to ride a bike without being covered from her neck to her knee. At one point in her life, just reached a breaking point. So she sort of created this double life and we'll get into it. And she actually is in

the midst of going through a divorce that's very public. So you'll hear all about this. It's a wild story. On that note. On that note. On that note, let's welcome Julia Hart, a real boss, to the Skinny Confidential Him and Her podcast. This is the Skinny Confidential Him and Her. Okay, we have Julia Hart in studio. I could not be more excited to interview you. Thank you. I have stalked you and wanted to interview you so bad because you have such an incredible, colorful, eclectic story. And I've heard you on a lot of podcasts and I don't feel like when you're on them that people understand your story before the show. And so I wanted to have you on because after reading your book, I was inspired to tell that story. And also, of course, I want to know what you're working on now, but I kind of want you to start at the beginning. Eight kids. Talk

to us. Talk to us about that. Start when you're born. Where are you born? So I was born in Moscow, Russia. I was born to a couple who were very high up in the Communist Party, actually. My father was the head of the Komsomol, which was the youth communist party. And my father and mother, this is pre-Gorbachev, pre-Pirostroika, we're talking literally when it was still the USSR and Brezhnev was running the country.

And at the time, there were a lot of civil rights violations against Jews. So the United States government put out a bill, an amendment. It was called the Jackson-Vanik Amendment. And basically what it did is it sanctioned countries who mistreated Jews. There were civil rights violations occurred. So what ended up happening is my parents were told to go around Russia and preach communism, right? So during Brezhnev, you weren't actually allowed to travel in the country. You lived in Moscow, you had to stay in Moscow. You had to get permission to go to another city because they didn't want anyone to realize

what a mess the country was in. But they thought that my parents were such devoted, committed communists that they would not, you know, be harmed by seeing the rest of the country. And to the flip side, they would be able to kind of preach communism. What ended up happening is my parents became completely disillusioned, just became massive anti-communists and started searching for another ism. And the ism they found was Judaism. They started studying the Torah and

keeping Shabbos and learning about Judaism very secretly because it was illegal at the time to be, to have any religion in Russia. My father was arrested and we were traded for grain. So through the Jackson-Vanik bill, because we were what's called refuseniks, we tried to get out of the country and we couldn't. We were one of the Jewish families that were traded for grain. They embargoed grain against the USSR. And to get the grain, they had to release a bunch of Jews. So we were in that group. So we first went to an internment camp in Vienna for like six or nine months.

And then we went to another internment camp in Rome. And what are these camps like? It was like an actual internment camp. I mean, you know, I was very, very little, so I don't remember a lot, but we lived in tents. Like, you know, you see those camps where, I mean, that's how, again, I remember. And of course I can't call my parents and ask them for any more details because they don't talk to me. But they were, I mean, we lived inside the Vatican, like in this area, you know, siphoned off for us. And is this just a holding area that they would figure out where to put you? Exactly. They were trying to figure out what to do with us. So that's why we were first in Vienna and then they sent us to Rome.

And then the way that it worked is if you wanted to go to Israel, you could go to Israel. If you wanted to come to the United States, basically they had to take on the responsibility of your financial support until you were able to stand on your own two feet. And the US government put that policy in place? Yes. Okay. What ended up happening was because they did it in conjunction with this organization called HIAS.

And HIAS was the one that organized this entire, let's call it exodus from Russia of these Jews. And then HIAS placed us with different Jewish communities. So the Jewish community of Austin, Texas decided to adopt my family. And that's how I came to this country. We live in Austin, Texas. What was Austin, Texas like when you got there? Not the same. No, but Texas to me was incredible. I mean, I loved it. Everything was clean. Everything was

beautiful. It was always sunshine. And I hate the cold. I am anti-cold. You know, I went to this incredible school where we truly, I mean, the level of education there was exceptional. I was learning logarithms, I think, when I was like in fifth grade. So it was just an amazing place to be. And I had like a normal American childhood, you know, I read Trixie Belden and watched Nancy Drew and it was just amazing. And did you recognize right away then like the immediate contrast to where you came from? Oh, absolutely. I mean, I think to me, again, I was such a, you know, I was three when we left, I was five when we got here. My biggest memory of that contrast was between Rome and Moscow. Because by the time I came to the United States, I'd already been living in Rome and in Vienna. So I saw kind of, you know, normal living.

But in Rome was the first time I had a pizza, ate a cherry. I'd never seen a fruit. There were no fruits in Russia, right? It was, I mean, it was really a hunger. People were just trying to get grain. So I'd never seen a cherry. I'd never seen a strawberry. So like, you know, it was justussia in my mind moscow my mind

like all my memories of all the pictures we have it's all great everything is great yeah we just had paulina porosakova on the show what is it two days ago and she was saying like for christmas they got she got a banana and it was a big it was a big that's a big deal yeah that's a big deal like to get a banana was a christmas present yep that's what she said i'd literally never seen a fruit well so at what point does religion really start to be a huge theme i mean it sounds like it was very very young but then you're in austin when is it something that is in your day-to-day so what ends up happening is my parents we go to austin, Texas, and there's a

Lubavitch community there. And Lubavitch is like one of the Hasidic sects of Judaism. And they find out about my family. And I have what's called Yichus. Yichus means lineage. Like, you know, go back to the 1800s where, you know, if you were a Lord Blobbedy Blook and you were, you know, related to the king 900 years ago, you were royalty. So there is Jewish royalty. Okay. It's exactly the same kind of concept. Who you come from, who you're born, you know, what your ancestry is determines your status in the community. Just like until the Industrial Revolution and the fall of all these empires, if you were born a serf or a slave or a poor person, you stayed that way the rest of your life. There was no upward mobility, and that exists there as well. If you are the great,

great grandchild of some very famous rabbi you're a blue blood you are noble you have hijos did you understand all this when you're this of course of course not no but so anyway so my parents had tremendous hijos because my father's great great uncle was this labavitch rabbi who it got the you know the big labavitcher rabbi that everybody worships and talks about, he smuggled his mother out of Europe during the war. And he founded Kfar Chabad in Paris and Kfar Chabad in Israel. And Kfar Chabad is like the enclave for Lubavitch Hasidim. So he founded two of the largest enclaves of Lubavitch Hasidim,

and he brought out the Lubavitcher Rebbe's mother. And so because of that, he was a very renowned person in that Hasidic community. And so when we came to Russia, out of Russia to the United States, the Lubavitchers immediately contacted my father and tried to get close to us. And what ended up happening is my parents bought it hook, line, and sinker. They loved it. Well, actually, I should not say that. My mother bought it hook, line, and sinker. Yeah, but if the mother buys it, the mother's the puppeteer. That's right. And then she dragged my forefather along with her. Sounds really familiar, to be honest. And, you know, it is very difficult to understand

because this is a woman who, from kindergarten through her first PhD, received a gold medal from the USSR because she never got one question on any test wrong. But what I found sometimes when someone is so intellectual and they're so in the school system, to me, it kind of makes sense that the religion was attracted to her. When you're more of an outlier and a rebel sometimes,

I feel like it's not. You're 100% correct. I'm not surprised about that. Exactly. So she was incredibly smart. I mean, she's by far still today with all the you know tens of thousands of people i've met she's still the smartest person right now by far she has when she came to the states she got her second phd so she has one in

philosophy and one in mathematics i mean this is not a stupid person and she chose religion where women are not allowed to educate themselves go figure that out i know you don't talk to her now but if you did you ever ask her when you were little like what what's why'd you do it yeah no i never asked because we weren't really supposed to talk about the before that was something very shameful but i so what i'm going to say now is just a thought it's the only explanation i can understand as to why she made this decision. So have you ever read the book by Yuval Harari, Homo Sapien? Yeah. Okay.

Do you know how he quantifies communism as religion? Sure. Because it is. It has a set of rules. If you do it, you're a good person. If you don't, you're a monster and you're going to hell. That's religion, right? When I was here in this country, I went to Brighton Beach. I think I wrote the story in the

book. And I met this guy, this older Russian gentleman, and he was bemoaning how much he misses Russia. And all I'd ever heard about Russia was terrible, bad, bad, bad, bad. So I asked him, what about Russia do you miss? Like, I've never heard anything positive. You know what he said to me? He said, I miss not having to make decisions. It's the certainty. Yeah. It's, it's defined for your life is already mapped out. There's no, there's no wondering what's going to happen. Exactly. And the same exact thing is fundamentalist extremist Judaism. It's exactly the same. Can you, so I think sometimes when you, and you for sure know this, when you get pushback, especially from the Jewish community, there's a ton of antisemitism

going on right now. I think like distinguishing between these extreme sects and Judaism in general, because I think, you know, you're not saying all Jews are like this, right? And I don't want to put words in your mouth. A hundred percent. But I think defining that a little bit, because I think it's a sensitive subject. And I think sometimes you get pushback because you had your experience, but then it kind of gets blanketly applied to all Jews. Right. So it's a very good question. And also, I think it's really important to talk about anti-Semitism. To respond to the first part, I have been very, very careful. And the problem is the pushback comes generally from people who don't actually watch or read what

I actually say. That's what ends up happening. So for example, they'll watch the first episode or the trailer, make certain, decide certain things and don't watch the rest of the show. Because if you watch the rest of the show, you see that I not only talk about all other sects of Judaism, I'm still practicing things of Judaism. My husband had a girlfriend at the time who became his fiance and I praised her to the skies skies even because she's a modern orthodox woman. She doesn't cover her hair and she has a college degree. And I've always been very careful to say that my issues aren't with Judaism at all. It's about fundamentalism. And the proof that this isn't anything to do with Judaism is those laws exist in every fundamentalist

religion. Islam, extreme Christianity, you know, you talk about the Mennonites, the Mormons. Politics. Politics. It's everywhere. So it isn't anything to do with Judaism. I don't think it's authentic Judaism at all. And the predominant amount of Jews who live around the world do not practice any of these things and are as removed from that as you are. Like everybody, it's a very small group of people who are treating women this way. And even to that group of people, they're victims too. They're doing what they were taught was right. There's no desire to harm and hurt. You know, there's only this desire to do what they think God wants. So that's why I always say there are no villains in my story.

There are only victims. I think every person in that community is doing those things because they think it's the right thing to do. So what I keep advocating for is to change the laws. That comes from a place of love, not hate. And when we talk about anti-Semitism, I mean, I'm the most public Jew there is. If they're coming for anybody, they're coming for me first. Like, just think about it. You know, to me, anti-Semitism is very frightening. And I see this trend and, you know, my daughter, who, you know, is very active in the Jewish community and

posts a lot, and I have both received the most horrific messages on Instagram you could possibly imagine. But Sheva had two pictures sent to her. One is, and it was titled Jewish Baby Carriage. And it was, you know know the structure of a baby carriage with wheels and the handle and instead of the you know the you know place where the baby rests it was an oven that's terrible yeah and you know you guys tracked down the ip for that that is that is it's really horrible i mean again it's all these accounts that have no you know you don't know who's behind them they're just and then she got another picture i think it was a jewish bedroom no no it was a jewish shower and it was gas it was like the gas chamber in in auschwitz my son got attacked in the street near col University. The guy, at the time, this is last year,

he was still wearing his yarmulke. The guy knocked off his yarmulke, said dirty Jew and ran away. So yeah, we are front and center here. I think, yeah, I think like it's good for you to clarify because I think maybe some people in the Jewish community feel like, you know, with the rise of your show and as you've become more prominent and outspoken with anti-Semitism on the rise as well, they feel like, is this the real time to then also highlight a sect of this community that you maybe disagree with, women didn't have the right to vote in this country

and they advocated and fought for what, 50, 60, 70, 80 years to get the right to vote. Did that mean they hated America? No. They wanted to change laws to make them more just. What I'm trying to do is make the life of women in that community better and if all these people read your book they would know that and what happens with your book because i was just like i just googled before i got in the car i wanted to see like what they're pulling bites without reading the whole book if you read her book she talks about throughout the whole story the theme is her wanting to help women who are feeling oppressed in a community that's extreme. Well, this is happening now more than, I mean, well, I'll say in a second, it's happening more,

I feel, than ever now. It's like when somebody's saying something that you disagree with or that fundamentally maybe goes against something that you believe in and you're unable to rebuttal with an argument and address the points they're making, what people typically tend to do, especially these days, is attack the character. Exactly. Because it's a way of diminishing. And you see this in politics all the time. Instead of addressing the issue that someone is discussing that may have some validity to it, they say it's too heavy of a topic that they don't want to take on. And so they say, well, let's attack the character and diminish and discount whatever the person said. That's what they're trying to do. Two things happened recently that really gave me hope. The first one was, and I'm going to leave her name out. I have to ask her

if I'm allowed to say her name. She's a very renowned woman. She's one of the leading feminists in this country. I had a fundraiser in my house because I've never been politically active, but with the repealing of Roe versus Wade. I've lived in a world where a woman's body is not her own. I am not going back there. So I got very politically active. She came to one of my events and she walks over to me. And this is a woman who like Kamala Harris is her close friend. She's got pictures of every president you could imagine on her walls. And she walks over to me and says, hi, my name is, let's just call her Anna. And she said, you know, you really changed my life. And usually when people say that to me, it means they've left their spouse that was abusive. They've started their business. They've left some kind of, you know, trauma or difficulty or they, you know, I've had two women say that they chose not to commit suicide after watching my show. So that's kind of what I was expecting. So I said, oh, wow, really?

How? Are you ready for this? After watching my show, she converted to Judaism. Converted to Judaism because she thought that the Judaism I portrayed in the show was so beautiful that she wanted to be part of that. So if someone would actually watch the show, they would see that it's incredibly positive to the Jewish community. It shows the vast array of different kinds of Jews and it proves that this has nothing to do with Judaism. I also think, though, there's something about you that grinds, especially men's gears, because they don't like when a woman tells it how it is. And you are you have masculine energy. You're a spitfire. You say what you want

to say, how you want to say it. And you you I mean, i think maybe since you were feeling oppressed for so long you're like the complete opposite way now and i think that men want to put you back in the jack-in-the-box okay first of all yes to literally every word that just came out of your mouth and second of all you guys are incredibly perspicacious i mean wow everything you're saying is exactly what's happening men are uncomfortable they're insecure with it. I tend to make friends anywhere I go. Being a disruptor is a very, very lonely place.

I was joking around with Lauren. We said this off air, but you and I had actually met before, but not in person on Zoom. Pre-pandemic, early Dear Media days. You meet a lot of people on a screen, especially during that time, you're like, who was that? And you kind of forget if it doesn't carry on to something else.

But I told Lauren after, I'm like, I just met this woman. It was like a really wild experience and she's in this like crazy office and like she runs this big company and then like I told her, she's like, okay, whatever. And then later we saw the show

and I'm like, no, I know the woman and like it was you. That's crazy. But like, no, you stand out in a way because I think in a world where there's a lot of people that are so filtered and held back you cut right to the chase you cut to the point you say what you want to say and it stands out but any change that has happened for women i guarantee you there was a julia hart crusading that and so anyone who is wondering

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Just fill out a brief questionnaire to match with the therapist. If things aren't clicking, you can easily switch to a new therapist anytime. It couldn't be simpler. No waiting rooms, no traffic, no endless searching for the right therapist. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com. That's BetterHelp.com. I want to go back to when you were in Austin and when you're in high school. In our high school, we're smoking cigarettes, we're smoking weed out of an apple, we're having sex, blowjobs, the whole thing. That wasn't your experience. What was high school like? Are you sneaking around before you're married? For one second, you know, I said the two really crazy things happened. One was this woman converting. The other was, was again I've been involved in politics and I went to this other political event and there was this Hasidic leader who you know is very involved in politics and you know that community

is very involved in politics here in New York especially and you know he had the whole payas and the strimal the you know the fur hat the whole nine yards and he walks over to me and I'm like oh no I'm gonna get yelled at that I'm a terrible person and blah blah I'm like oh great he walks over to me and he says Julia my wife and my daughters thank you and walked away I was like what? But second, it just gave me hope. Maybe my message is getting through. Maybe there will be change in that community. If a famous Hasidic man can walk up to me and say, my daughter and my wife thanks you. That says a lot. Well, especially like you said, coming from the man. Yeah. I mean, I was blown away.

It just gave me strength to keep fighting, to keep talking. To your point, if you look at the suffragettes, they weren't just accused of being liars and thieves and terrible people and seductresses and all those terms that people love to throw at women. They were arrested. They were imprisoned just for asking for rights. And that's all I'm doing. So to your point of what high school was like, I want to actually read you something that someone just sent me. I didn't have an education, right? My high school education was abysmal. Its real sole purpose was to make us into good wives and mothers. And when I said how terrible my education was and that I was not equipped to handle the outside world, I got attacked about how many people go to college from Bais Yaakov and how wonderful it is. And then the other day, someone who's in the community and wants it to change sent me this.

It's just unbelievable. The gist of it is basically this school puts out this letter saying we see this trend for girls starting to go to college. This is not an acceptable trend for Bais Yaakov. Our daughters are supposed to be wives and mothers. They're supposed to only learn from this religious institution. And we do not want any girls coming out of base yakov and going to college even if it's a jewish college that teaches jewish subjects it doesn't matter girls should not be going to college and then it says if your daughter is in college please if your daughter intends or contemplates going to college please immediately contact the school or otherwise please sign that your daughter will not be going to college for i've got to find this for you but you talk like myself who i mean i guess it would probably be

fair to say lauren can validate this that i was a habitual rule breaker basically since i've been out of the womb and i've never understood like you know these kind of when i hear these stories i i always wonder like, well, why can't you just like tell everyone to F off and go do what you want? Like,

I want to know like, what is the, what is the whole? It's Stockholm Syndrome. Yeah, like what is the, what is the? From your book,

you're completely immersed in it. I found it. There it is. Okay, Base Yakov, right? The school I went to. In the last years,

it's become increasingly prevalent for high school girls to be preparing themselves and working towards a college degree while in high school. This is not the reason Klal Yisrael, that's the Jewish people, have established Bais Yaakov schools, that's the girls' high schools, for B'nos Yisrael, for daughters of Israel. It is not in line with a Bais Yaakov chinuch. It is not in line with our education for girls to go to college. A Torah chinuch, meaning is not in line with our education for girls to go to college. A Torah chinuch, meaning studying religious stuff, does not mean the subjects they are learning. It means they are connecting and drawing life from one source only, which is Torah, meaning they should only be studying from us and from nowhere else. It was established to give our

b'nosh Yisrael a direct connection to the Torah, and it was to become the sole source of their learning and connection to life. And then it goes on and on and on. The fact that college courses may include religious subjects or subjects they've already learned does not change the fact that they are in college. For all purposes, once your daughter has connected herself to college, she has disconnected herself from being connected and fully connected to her Torah learning, to that and only that which is her only source of life. If your daughter is presently preparing for or taking any college courses or tests, please make an appointment to discuss this with us. And then they have little boxes that you have to check and sign. My daughter is not taking any

college courses or preparatory tests. And then you have to check. My daughter is taking college courses or preparatory tests. I would like to set up an appointment. I'm available. That should tell everybody everything they need to know. I didn't lie. I didn't exaggerate. Base Yakov trains you to be mothers and housewives. And that's it. And they do not want you to get a higher education he can't believe this because you can't believe it because you're not seeing it and you're gonna say oh you said earlier why can't you leave because it's community so to answer your question which is a great question how do you keep people in line societal pressure so for example you know like you've got

bridgerton and you've got all these other shows, right? We also just saw it for the last two years. Exactly. But like, look at Bridgerton, right? If your family's reputation is ruined, no one will marry into your family. No one will do business. Will you, you'll be shunned, isolated and ignored. That's my community.

If you don't follow the rules, no one will marry your children. And you feel like, and I guess if you're in that community so deeply, you feel like there's no other community that'll accept you. That's right. I mean, because again, you're not equipped to handle the outside world. The reality is that most women who come out of the community do not survive. Many of them commit suicide. They become drug addicts. And whereas my community uses that as proof that the people who are leaving are somehow

flawed. That is absolutely wrong because the reality is we are 18th century women and throwing an 18th century woman into a 21st century world is one of the most disorienting, discombobulating, difficult things you could possibly do. You know, there's that, I can never remember the name, the movie with Hugh Jackman and Meg Ryan, where he falls through a wormhole in time. He's like a 17th century or 18th century inventor who invented the elevator. And he falls through a wormhole in time and lands in the 21st century. And he's like walking around and everything is unfamiliar to him. That's what it's like. I mean, you know, people say, oh, but you read books, you did this. Yes. If you read my

book, you'll see the trajectory. I did start watching movies. I did started educating myself when I decided I wanted out. But you guys deep sea dive? Never deep, but I've been diving. You've been diving. So, you know, to go deep, you need years of training. I think there's only a couple of thousand people in the world. Acclimate to the pressure, Lauren. Yeah, because the pressure is insane and I think there's only a couple thousand people in the world who could dive under 50 meters.

The example I always give people is, so when I decided I wanted to leave, I spent eight years educating myself, watching movies, reading books, but if you watch a thousand movies on deep sea diving and read a thousand books on deep sea diving, can you actually deep sea dive? Can you? No, you can't.

That's what it's like. It's a entirely different ecosystem. You could watch about it. You could read about it, but you have to actually live it to understand it and i had not lived a 21st century life i didn't have a boyfriend i didn't go to prom i'd never been to a bar i'd never been on a date with someone i chose and when is the first time you actually went on a proper date i was 42 years old and michael we're not even there yet you don't even understand you you also have to tell us like specific details, how you couldn't show certain things,

the skirt lengths, explain all of that. So in my world, a woman is responsible for a man's behavior. Okay. So if he sins, it's on her. So meaning if she wears a skirt that's a little bit too short and the man wants to touch her tit yeah it's her fault

or what if i go out and you know misbehave in some kind of way outside of the house that's your fault as well yes as long as it's coming meaning if i attract your attention and you have any kind of illicit thought about me that's on me to give you a really big example and then i'll go smaller when hurricane sandy happened i was called into synagogue with a bunch of other women and we were told that hurricane sandy was our fault what you thought it was the weather you were wrong it was my shaytel i'm not trying to laugh but like it's insane but the the concept was our wigs and again we're already covering our hair we're already wearing wigs right our wigs were too long in our marriage i blame lauren for a lot i didn't know i could blame her for the weather now give me some ideas so that's what we were

told is that because our wigs were too beautiful we were still attracting male attention. Therefore, we were causing men to sin. And that's why God sent Hurricane Sandy to punish us. And it was our fault. I mean, it sounds comical, but that's literally what I was told. My friend in the community sent me this video. This rabbi is going on and on because even he was shocked. So he's a more modern rabbi. And he couldn't believe this.

His daughter comes home from school. I think she was nine. So he's a more modern rabbi. And he couldn't believe this. His daughter comes home from school. I think she was nine. She's nine years old. Daughter comes home from school, nine years old, and says, Hey, Abba, we learned in school that we're not allowed to walk outside with wet hair. A nine-year-old can't walk outside with wet hair. Why? So he asks her why.

And you ready for this? Because if a man will see a young woman with wet hair, he may think, where did she get the wet hair? The shower. And then he may think of her naked. And then he will have battle-less thoughts. This is what she's fighting against. Just if anyone's unclear, this is what she's fighting against this this is so outrageous you can't even believe it listen i don't need you to have wet hair for me to make think those thoughts about yeah but i mean that is like it's as someone that's very much an overshare my entire life and beat to the tune of my own drum and do what i want that is crazy yeah to me it is and

your life has to be so small because for example you have to be covered head to toe right because your body could attract a man you can't sing in public because your voice could attract a man you can't dance in public because your voice could you know you can't do what i'm doing be forward facing in any way shape or form because men may see you have bad thoughts and then you are the sinner. And you have to wear a wig, right? You have to wear a wig once you're married. No person is allowed to see your hair uncovered.

And that's the law. Now, there is something called a chumrah, which is like an addition to the law, like an added, you know, if you really want to be good, right? And this particular chumrah, this particular edition, we were taught that if we do this particular edition, we will have righteous children. And if we don't, our children will be born flawed. And what was it?

That the walls of your own house should not see your nakedness. Meaning, even when you're sleeping, you need to be covered head to toe, hair covered, body covered. The walls of your house should never see your nakedness. You have to be covered 24 hours a day, every day of your life until the day you die.

Why? So that a man shouldn't have a thought about you. Can I ask you maybe an ignorant question? Because I think it's fair to say, Judaism in itself is a beautiful religion, which has a ton of great morals and I think sets a lot of great examples. What is the history of this particular sect? How did this come about?

I'm assuming this is not how it started, but how does this... Favorite question ever. So I talk about it in my book because I did have that dichotomy. Because if you look at the actual concepts and precepts of Judaism, they're beautiful. Loving kindness. You know, we learn our rights not through a bill of rights, but through a bill of responsibilities. You learn what you're responsible for before you learn what's coming to you. So the focus is always on your own self-personal responsibility, which I think is beautiful.

In Halloween, you go around and you trick-or-treat and you ask for candy. On Purim, you go around and you give candy. There's always this focus and this emphasis on giving. When my brother was killed when he was five years old, the way the community came together and took care of my family, I mean, we had, you know, some of the wealthiest men in the community sweeping my parents' floor. You know, there's so much kindness there. There's so much community, charity. There's this whole thing about Rofei Cholim that you're supposed to visit the sick. So there's this massive movement of people who come on the daily and visit complete strangers to me. There's just such an emphasis on giving, on, you know, being a kind and good person. So how do you meld that with these laws that keep women down? And that was a really difficult question that I had. How can you connect something that is intrinsically magnificent to something that caused me to almost

want to, you know, kill myself and that keeps women down. And it really bothered me until I read a book about the six inventions that changed, that shaped history. It's a very small book, really brilliant. And it brought up this concept, which is a scientific concept, but I extrapolated it into religion because it's the only thing that makes sense to me. So did you ever hear of the adjacent possible? Okay. So the adjacent possible is this scientific theory that explains why inventions always occur in clusters.

So for example, when Nikola Tesla is inventing electricity in Europe, Thomas Edison is doing it here. When Alexander Graham Bell was inventing the telephone in America, there was Marconi in Italy developing the telephone. And there is no exception to that rule. For some reason, throughout history, all inventions occur in cluster. All of a sudden, five people invent the same thing. And so the theory of the adjacent possible elucidates why that's so.

And what it says is, we as humans are only capable of comprehending that which is adjacent next to our current possible, what we know and understand in our world. So what does that mean? That means in the 11th century, they could not have imagined a television because first, electricity had to be created. Olfactory lenses had to be created. Photography had to be created. It was so far removed from their current possible as to be unimaginable. But once something is invented, now it becomes adjacent to the current possible. And then all of a sudden, 10 people have the same idea.

So that's why inventions occur in clusters, because we can't conceive of something that is so far away from us, just like they couldn't envision airplanes. You wrote about that in your book. I did. I remember that. Yes. conceive of something that is so far away from us, just like they couldn't envision airplanes. You wrote about that in your book. I did. I remember that. Yes. And so what you're, how are you saying that applies to religion? I know you said it in the book, but can you say it again? Yes, absolutely. Because I think it is a think my takeaway is, okay, let's just imagine for a minute that there is God and that he did come down to some manifestation to humanity to teach us right and wrong, okay? These deep, complex, moralistic rules that pretty much all of the world follows. And we are the

parents of every monotheistic religion that there is, right? And so if you look at that, let's think about the life that they lived at the time. You were a woman alone. A marauder was going to scoop you up. A wild animal would eat you. An army that was going through would rape you. As a woman in those days, by yourself, you were in danger. Women did not lead anything. They did not run anything. They did not own anything. And so when God gives these big, giant, esoteric, incredibly beautiful moralistic codes, what do the people have to do? They have to translate it into actions and to set of rules. And those rules were connected to the world that they lived in. In Judaism, they always say,

oh, but 3 million people received the Torah. That's actually not accurate, right? Because even in my religious teachings, even in my extremely orthodox school, what we were taught is that everyone in the, all the Jews, 3 million people heard, I am God and do not make anyone else your God. The first two commandments.

And then they couldn't handle God's presence. They all died. God had to resurrect all of them. And so they went to Moses and it's in the Bible that they go to Moses and say, we can't hear the word of God. You go up to heaven and come down and give us the laws, right? Very convenient. So in the end, it's still one guy telling the world what God says. Okay. And think about the time that they lived in. In the time that they lived in, just like they couldn't imagine a television or an airplane, they couldn't imagine a world where women could live alone and be safe,

where women would be leaders and captains of industry and run countries. It was as unimaginable to them as everything else in our world, right? It was too far removed from their adjacent possible. So they built their laws, their rules on what was considered moralistic and normal for their time. In their time, women did not live the law. Women were covered because if you weren't covered, someone would come and rape you, right? So that's the problem. Every other religion has realized, oh. You have to evolve with the times. Exactly.

Except for this sect. This sect still keeps those laws, even though the world in which these laws were practiced is so far different from the world in which these laws were made as to have been unimaginable to the people who made them. Let me tell you about my hair shedding because after I had my first baby, it shed. It shed in the shower. It shed on my silk pillowcase. It shed everywhere in the car, all the things. And there were a couple things that really helped. One of them, talked about it all the time on this show, is Nutrafol. This is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement. And here's the thing, it's clinically

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and entering promo code SKINNYHAIR. You're going to save $15 off your first month's subscription. This is their best offer anywhere, and it's only available to U.S. customers for a limited time. Plus, you get free shipping on every order. Get $15 off at Nutrafol.com, spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com, promo code SKINNYHAIR. Every single morning, my daughter says the same thing. She says, only uno. And that means one vitamin in her language. That means she wants one vitamin. She knows she's only allowed to have

one. She loves them so much, and they are by Haya Health. And we've made it like it's her morning routine. She knows she's going to get her Haya vitamin. And I'm obsessed with this for her because it's zero sugar and zero gummy junk. So many of them are filled with sugar, but Haya is non-GMO. It's vegan. It's dairy-free. It's allergy-free. It's gelatin-free, nut-free, and everything you can imagine. And it's designed for kids of all ages and comes straight to my door. And I'm all about this because it's filled with 15 essential vitamins, minerals, including vitamin D, B12, C, zinc, folate, to name a few. And everything is all about like they designed this to support immunity, energy, brain function, mood, concentration, teeth, bones, and more.

So I really like this brand. This is a brand that I've told all my friends about. My daughter loved taking the stickers out of the first order and like decorating. They just get it. The whole brand gets it. And we've worked out a special deal with Haya for their best-selling child's vitamin. You're going to receive 50% off your first order. You guys, 50% off. To claim this deal, you must go to hayahealth.com slash skinny. And you should know that this deal is not available on their regular website. So you're going to go to H-I-Y-A-H-E-A-L-T-H.com slash skinny, and you're going to get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Your show came out and you highlighted a lot of your life and a lot of what happened in a lot of the transition.

And now you have this new season. But in the first season, you're happily married. This season looks a little bit different now from what I can see. You think? Your daughter's happily married in the first season your daughter's happily married in the first season you're happily married in the first season and now it's a different it's a different thing one people should watch the first season and see and like obviously you've just dove deeper into a lot of the stuff that you are you are articulating in the show but this second season i feel like is a completely kind of like different look different life a lot

of the same stuff still going on but you're in a different period now oh yes you know it's funny funny because, I mean, not funny like, ha-ha, funny. More like, oh my God, I can't believe this is happening to me again. Kind of funny. So I thought in this world, in the 21st century world, right? Not my old world, but in my new world, that women would be treated equally to men. I really did. I genuinely believe that. And this year has proven me wrong in so many ways that it's basically been drummed into my head that we are in big trouble. First, there was the repealing of Roe versus Wade. And then there was what happened to me. The reality is, let's just look at facts. I became CEO of a modeling agency that was valued at $70 million, right? I have the documentation. Within two and a half years from April 2019 until September 2021, Jeffries Bank valued us at $1.1 billion.

That is $70 million to $1.1 billion through COVID. Through COVID. Without a dollar of investment, I built avatars and metaverse in 2019 when no one knew what I was talking about. And in fact, we were in the process of taking the company public. I wasn't even allowed to put it in the presentation. The bankers were like, Julia, no one's going to know what you're talking about. That's when we connected. That's right. Nobody understood what I was even saying. So I built avatars and metaverse in 2019 we created a digital an entire digital structure i signed on because i realized that the talent is the media

they have the audience so it's not about the runway or the billboard of the magazine it's all about the digital the digital presence they're the new nb, CBS, ABC. They have the audience. Say that a little louder a few more times. So to me, I realized that what we are is actually a media company and we have data of over 2.2 billion viewers. And so I started aggregating that data, utilizing it to help brands sell their product to people who would actually like to buy it. And we created this entire global media company. And then, you know, February 3rd. So Sylvia and I, our plan was I asked for a divorce in January of 2021. By April, he was basically out of the house. He rented a place in Mexico, which our company pays for. thank you very much, and basically

moved out of the house because the idea was, he said, let's not get divorced until we go public. It will mess with, you know, people don't like it when the founders are fighting, when mommy and daddy are fighting. Let's wait until we go public. But then there's Omicron came and so just things got delayed and I just did not want to be married anymore. So we decided we're just going to get the divorce.

And the plan was February 14th, we were going to announce to the world on Valentine's Day that even though we're getting divorced, we're keeping the holding companies together, we're staying business partners, everything's going to be copacetic. We just don't want to be married anymore. We have a different kind of love. And then February 3rd, I find out that a million and a half has been siphoned out of our shared account into this business called SHS, which he founded with our money and then took out a freedom holding. When I found that out, I was like, I'm done. I

can't. I want a divorce and I don't want to be your partner anymore. I've had enough. Thursday and Friday, he sends the time trying to convince me to stay his partner. And I still say no. And again, I have all of this evidence. On Monday, I'm a thief and I'm a liar and I'm a monster and this. From Friday, please, please stay my partner. To Monday, you're a thief and a liar. And I thought, and then he went out and said, I stole this and I did that.

And I thought to myself, there's no one going to believe that. The man was married to me. Does he literally think that anyone's going to believe that he didn't see my closet? He didn't know I was, just such an absurd accusation. Not to mention the fact that my name is not on a single piece of paper to a single auditor, to a single accountant. Never had I once, once in the company said this should be paid by that and this should be paid by that. Never. I would send everything in. They would decide where it went. That was it. And it's provable. So I genuinely thought that people would laugh when he called me a seductress, that I seduced him into hiring me. And the funny thing is we met for 45 minutes. What kind of seduction did I manage in a 45 minute meeting?

And- Oh, if you could do that, I might want you to talk to my wife. Yeah, I mean, damn, right, exactly. I'm sorry, that'd make me an amazing person. And how did I seduce him? Let's think about, and even the court that decided against me

acknowledged this. He did promise me 50-50 when we got married, right? And I found out January 2021 that there was one share less. That means in the beginning of our marriage, before we were fighting, when it was all love and la-di-da, he had no problem cheating to me and telling me I own 50%. That's 51-49. Well, no, no. I didn't even have that.

I didn't have 51-49. I just had the common shares. I found out that I didn't have the, that I didn't, I wasn't actually an equal partner in 2020. Literally almost a year later when we started the going public process, I didn't want to work with someone. I was like, well, we're partners. I don't want to work with them.

We can't work with them. He's like, no, actually you aren't, you don't actually own any piece of the company because yes, I gave we're partners. I don't want to work with them. We can't work with them. He's like, no, actually, you don't actually own any piece of the company because, yes, I gave you 50 shares, but then I issued myself all these other shares that negated your shares and made them completely not valuable. And he's admitted to that. That's out there. So when he was massively in love with me, he had no problem pretending that I was part owner, accepting all my work without a salary. I never got a salary because I thought I was co-owner. Taking my work, I worked 20-hour days. I built the company, meanwhile, all the while knowing that I don't own a piece, right? And that's when I found out about in 2020, that's when he said, okay, let me give you the shares I promised you.

That's my seduction. I seduced him to what? Cheat me so that I would work for free for all these years and get nothing out of it? Does that sound like I'm the seductress or he is? Obviously, he had many other successful ventures outside of- No. He only had the only- He was very successful in selling FastWeb. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's right. That's right. And then every other business since then has failed which happens babble gum 150 million dollars down the tube over 500 million dollars lost at la perla sold for one euro you know the next company he invested in 17 million dollars they threw him out he had to relinquish his shares He has not had a single successful business in the last 11 years. Not one. He made 700 and some odd million euros, which translated into a billion dollars, and he lost it all. When I married him, he had $8 million in his bank account. That's it.

Julia Hart, you've got a lot going on. I'm going to harass you again, though, to come back. Just tell us where to find you, where to find the show. Please come and watch season two on December 2nd on Netflix, My Unorthodox Life. And please pick up a copy of Brazen, which is sold in any bookstore or Amazon. Wait, don't go. Do you want to win some WooMorePlay Shag Juice? All you have to do to win this water-based lubricant is go and follow at Woomore Play on Instagram and tell us your favorite part of this episode with Julia on my latest Instagram

at Lauren Bostic. I personally am such a fan of Julia. I think she's a boss and I'm so excited to interview her again. We need to do a part two. All right. Thanks so much for listening, you guys, and we'll see you next time. One of the things I love most about this show is I actually learn stuff on this show. What a big surprise. One of the things that I learned most recently is how severely lacking I was in amino acids. We just did episode 507 with Angelo Keeley talking all about the importance of aminos. I get to have these phenomenal guests on that teach us things. And one of those things, like I said, it's all about aminos. Keon Aminos is my fundamental supplement for fitness. That is the one supplement to help my body stay toned all year round. I found for years it was so hard

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