The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Laura Clery On Happy Endings, Addiction, Infidelity, Drugging Her Sister, & Turning Her Life Around

Episode Date: July 11, 2022

#477: On today's episode we are joined by Laura Clery. Laura is an actress, author, and comedian best known for posting comedy sketches and vlogs about her day-to-day life. Today Laura joins the show to tell us some of her wildest stories which include; running away to mexico, drugging her own sister, happy endings, and more.  To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) Check Out Lauryn's NEW BOOK, Get The Fuck Out Of The Sun HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential  The Hot Mess Ice Roller is here to help you contour, tighten, and de-puff your facial skin and It's paired alongside the Ice Queen Facial Oil which is packed with anti-oxidants that penetrates quickly to help hydrate, firm, and reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, leaving skin soft and supple. To check them out visit www.shopskinnyconfidential.com now.  Produced by Dear Media 

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Like I just knew I had a lot to give and this is what made me happy. And I could see that drugs and alcohol were getting in the way. So that was my moment of clarity. Today we have Laura Clary. I think this is maybe one of our top guests of all time. Honestly, this episode does not disappoint. She is born to have a mic. I mean, I think the reason I say that, I think this is one of the best guests we've ever had on the mic. Yeah, she is really damn good on the mic. Guys, she's got it all.

If you want to have somebody that's got just great comedic timing, great storyteller, can kind of have a full range, get serious, get funny. But lots of depth. Tons of depth. Yeah, no, I'm not janking her chain here. This is a good one. I think people are going to be pleasantly, well, they're not going to be surprised because everybody knows she's extremely talented, but they're going to be very happy with this episode. I read her book, Idiot, which is all about how she dealt with an addiction. I highly recommend it. Just heard that wrong. I thought you said, I read her book, Idiot. Oh, no, her book is called Idiot. I get recommend it. Just heard that wrong. I thought you said I read her book, Idiot. Oh, no, her book is called Idiot.

I get that now. Okay, so her first one is called Idiot. I read a while back and was such a fan. I harassed her on Instagram. And then I read her second book, Idiots. That one's all about how she has kids after this addiction. And she opens up about how her husband had an affair. She opens up about stories about birth. In her first book, Laura talks about

being broke, unemployable, suicidal, cocaine addicted, and a narcissist. And then in her second book, you can expect mucus plug talk, ADHD, autism, postpartum depression, and her husband's cheating. He cheated on her in rehab, and she actually confronted the girl, sort of. Anyways, both of her books are absolutely amazing. She's funny. She has a lot of depth and she's incredibly charismatic. So who is Laura Clary? She's an actress, influencer, comedian, and best known for posting comedy sketches and blogs about her day to day on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. She is the author of Idiot and Idiots, and she lives in Los Angeles with her husband, son, and daughter. She's a total badass. I'm so

excited to have her on the podcast. Like I said, I begged for her to come on for so long. Welcome to the show, Laura, and you're welcome back anytime. This is The Skinny Confidential, him and her. You roofied your sister. Correct. I don't think I've ever heard those words come out of anyone's mouth. So can you give some context? Here's the thing. I thought I was doing a good thing.

Okay. Because in my, this is when I was 18 years old. And it is, to be honest, the most probably up there with the in the most shameful things I've ever done. It's kind of amazing to in a way. Yeah, in a way. I mean, it's amazing because she turned out OK. OK, nothing happened. Nothing bad happened to her. I don't think I could live with myself if it went south, but it didn't. She ended up having an amazing night. But long story long, my grandma. OK, wait. OK, hold on. Let's back up. So I'm 18. I when I OK, I'm not 18. I'm not 18 right now. When I was it, we can cut all that. Right. OK, so I moved here to L.A. when I was 17. When I was 18, my sister moved along with me because she was like,

you're this kid here by yourself. Let me come protect you. And so my mom calls us and lets us know that my grandma passed away. So we're really bummed out and we're like, this is horrible. Let's go to the nearest bar and get wasted and just like forget about everything because we're in so much pain. So we go to, have you heard of the Mondrian? Yes. Right. The Mondrian. Yes.

That was the spot back then. That was the spot, you know, but it was like very much covered with like young, broke, hot girls and like old sleazy motherfuckers. Like, right. Wasn't it? And it sounds like all of L.A. Yeah, basically all of L.A. So it's like you knew there were these spots you could go

if you didn't have a lot of money, but you wanted free drinks. And like the Mondrian was one of those spots where, you know, my sister and I didn't have any money and we wanted to get drunk. So we went there. And of course, these two guys who were actually in their 30s. So they were like old to us that which is like really sad, isn't it? Like that we're getting old. Yeah.

No, it's, I'm sure I'm thinking of those days. I'm thinking of those days. I remember seeing those old 35 year old guys. Do you know? You. Yeah. Now it's like, we are those old 35 year old guys. That's depressing.

It's really sad. so you're at the laundry so yes maybe i'll go to the laundry on this afternoon yeah oh my god it'll take you back anyway so they these guys end up buying us drinks then they were like hey do you want to go out to dinner with us and we say yes we go to this place called d, I think it was Dan Tana's iconic place, old school, like steakhouse. This was my pre-vegan days. So I'm sure I ordered a bloody ass steak. And, um, yeah, dude, they, they pulled out this drug, this like little water bottle thing. And they were like, Hey, do you want to do some GHB? And I was like, what's that? And they were like, oh, it's awesome. Like it just makes you feel so good, your whole body. And I was like, amazing. Yes. Like if it,

someone offered me drugs, it was like, yes, it's going to make me feel good. Yes. Thank you. I'll take two, you know? And then my sister was like, oh no, I'm good. And then like five minutes later, she's like, um, I'm going to go to the restroom. And when she goes, the two guys were like, hey, we should put like a little bit in her champagne and it'll be so great. She's going to love it. And my naive addict mind was like, that's a great idea. Like, she's going to love this. She's going to thank me later. She's going to love this. Like, I thought I was doing her a favor and I don't even want to like justify later. She's going to love this. Like, I thought I was doing her a favor. And I don't even want to, like, justify it because it's a horrible thing that I did.

But I'm just trying to tell you where my brain was at at the time. And so I thought it was a good idea. So we put a little bit in her drink. She comes back. She drinks the champagne. And about 20 minutes later, we're like, okay, we're going to go out to some club. I can't remember which club. Ladoo. Oh, man.

Oh, my God. Ladoo. Ladoo. Oh, stop. You're taking me back. I don't think it was that, but it was like one of those. One of those where like Leonardo DiCaprio was and still is. He's still there.

In a sweater hoodie. He's still there. He's never left. He's never left. And guess what? You know what's never left? The same age girl is still the same age that he's there with. Because like he was amazing. And then now he's just like this old dude who's like still with 20 year olds.

In a hoodie. Yeah. Hoodie. I don't like. So you guys didn't go to the club. Yeah. So they're like, okay, we're going to this club. And I'm like, this is going to be great.

And my sister's like, I'm actually getting, I'm actually feeling a bit tired. So I'm going to go home. And we were like, oh, okay. So we drive her home. She gets out. And one of the guys goes, oh, man, it didn't work. And Colleen, my sister, turns around and goes, what didn't work? And I was like, oh, we put GHB in your drink. and Colleen, my sister, turns around and goes, what didn't work?

And I was like, oh, we put GHB in your drink. And she was like, you asshole, and sort of laughed and walked in. She wasn't even that phased, because that's how reckless I was at the time, that she was just like, you dick, and walked in. Cut to the next day, she tells me she had the time of her life. Her and her girlfriend went out dancing that night. Like they went to see some like live band and had so much fun. She's like, it was an amazing night.

And we, you know, went back safe. So, so yeah, but that's the story of me drugging my sister. What happened to you? Oh my God. Oh, we're getting right into it. about that i don't think i did well the only you did right about that okay the only reason i asked is because i'm starting to think like okay if you both took this dose that she was fine she did that but then like you go pee i didn't tell you what happened to her i forgot to tell you that yeah so mine's fucked up i i basically got like sexually assaulted okay which i know but that okay. It's time I've processed it. It's okay. It's in my book. But my and I think it's karma. It's karma for drugging. No, I know that's dark. No, it's dark. But basically, long story long, we go out to this club,

go back to the guy's apartment. And I just remember waking up in the morning. This is sick. This is getting really dark really fast. But I basically wake up in the morning in this guy's apartment and he's literally like, dude, this is so fucked up. But he's like jacking off like over my face. Like I was passed out asleep. Do you think that he wanted you to stay asleep for that? Yeah, it was so fucked. Do you think he wanted you to wake up or do you think he wanted you to stay asleep or do you think he didn't know? Oh, I think he wanted me to stay asleep. I think he probably it was like a power thing.

I mean, you know, I was completely out and I just wake up to this like disgusting fucking dude jacking off on my face. You say in your book that things like this happened to you throughout when you were using and you say that it's amazing to you how quickly in the moment, fight or flight, you sort of know how to get out of these situations. Yeah. There's been a couple incidences like that. And this, like I say in my book, it was pre-Me Too movement. So we didn't talk about it. We oftentimes blamed ourselves. Why was I there? If I wasn't there, this wouldn't have happened. We certainly didn't report anything to the police. We just didn't then. Or it was very rare. So what do your instincts tell you to do when he's beating his meat in your face?

Yeah. So literally, I pop my eyes open and I see this really disturbing image. And immediately my brain went, okay, if he's capable of sexually assaulting me while I'm passed out, what else is he capable of? Will he hurt me? Will he kill me? Will he rape me? Potentially, potentially, and potentially.

Right. So if he's capable of that, oh, okay, I need to stop doing that. Like that's literally what I saw. It was so horrible. But if he's capable of that, what else is he capable of? And so that was initially where my brain went.

And then I knew that I couldn't fight him off. He was much bigger than me. My brain went to just pretend that it's okay so you can get out safely. So I just like laid there and like let it happen and didn't fight him off because my instinct said if I tried, it could get really dangerous. Like he could have knocked me out. Is he like finishing on you? Yeah. So you just lay there and just lay there and just like let it happen out of, for self-preservation. I wanted to live.

And I truly felt, my instinct said, if you fight this guy, he'll win. And I don't have anyone there. My sister's not there. There's this other dude who's even bigger. Nobody knows you're there. Wait, so I'm in this room, but I want to get out alive. So finish and then I'm out. But what does he say after that then I'm out. But how did,

what does he say after that? Does he not even acknowledge it? Just thanks for last night. Yeah. That it's funny. Like what you remember and what you don't, you don't, I don't remember the small talk. I don't remember. He was probably like, Oh yeah, that was amazing. Like he probably said something like that and not really aware. It's like when I pop my eyes open, you would think that maybe he would stop and go, oh my God, what am I doing? I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself or say something, but he just like kept going. And it was at that moment when I, when I popped my eyes open and he continued assaulting me, even though he could see that I could now see him, that I knew this man was so disconnected, probably still on a lot of drugs too,

which also made me think like he's not in his right mind and that he, if he's sexually frustrated or whatever, and I get in his way, like, will he kill me basically is what I was thinking. That makes sense. I didn't know them enough to know that I was safe and I clearly wasn't safe. So he literally finished and I like got up and got my stuff and just ran out. I just left. One of the things that I like love about you and your books, she reminds me of Khalil. Our friend does this too, is that you talk about all these things that are normally quote unquote shameful and it takes the energy out of it for other people to talk about. I mean, you talk about giving birth on Facebook, you talk about postpartum, you talk about sexual assault,

addiction. There's this, these books, both of them, you guys are so good because you just take the energy out of it sometimes you read a biography and they leave out like all these parts and you're just like because i'm gonna call someone out sharon stone okay lover yeah how many stories do you think she has like that treasure probably a lot okay so i read her autobiography and it's like flat and you know her life hasn't been flat. There's so much she could share and I think ultimately help people. And she didn't. With yours, you went there. Yeah. I love that about you. I found the same thing. Thank you. And I found the same thing with the Tom the tom petty documentary i don't know if you saw that but he left out his heroin addiction like he was a junkie and he left that

entire part out and i was like oh that's really sad because that could have helped a lot of people it's a huge part of the story yeah but i think maybe it's just a different time and now you know yeah right they're used to covering it. And also, I think too, and you say this in your book, too. It's like the casting director used to make the decision. So if the casting director doesn't like you, they have the opportunity to puppeteer your career, whereas with what you do now, you're the creator of your future. Yes. Yes. Which is awesome. Exactly. So I could write a song about buttholes if I want and I could and I have and I'll do it again. Good. And literally it actually I literally wrote a

song about buttholes. And can you give us like a jingle? It's like buttholes are nothing to be laughed at. They're just a part of the human body. Taylor's butthole is something to be laughed at. Let me tell you. If his butthole pops up in the show back there, I'm out. So you mentioned this is before the Me Too movement. When did you notice a shift with all of this stuff in Hollywood especially? Well, definitely like the Harvey Weinstein stuff.

Yeah, that made a big difference. Yeah, I feel like that's when it, right? I mean, I guess it probably was happening before too, but I feel like that's when it really. If it could happen to somebody in that position of power that rapidly and that dramatically and so effectively, it's like everybody else is like, hey, you better be on point.

Totally. There is one thing that I took my entire pregnancy and that is my chlorophyll drops from Saqqara. I take this every single morning. It is so seamless and easy. I hydrate first thing in the morning. I have like a huge Yeti hydro flask situation with tons of ice. I do lemon. I put ginger in there. Sometimes I put a little inulin and I always put my Saqqara chlorophyll drops. It turns the water green, which I love. And there's so many benefits. It's good for your blood. It's good for your heart. It's good for energy. I've been obsessed with chlorophyll for years. I think it's so amazing. If you're in altitude, the benefits are unreal. Saqqara also has these beauty drops.

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is offering all Skinny Confidential, him and her listeners, 20% off your first order. All you have to do is go to saqqara.com slash skinny or enter code skinny at checkout. That's saqqara, S-A-K-A-R-A.com slash skinny for 20% off your first order. Saqqara.com slash skinny. Get the chlorophyll drops. Was your journey with addiction something where it was like quick and fast and hard? Or was it something that slowly happened that you didn't even notice that all of a sudden it's like a tumbleweed and it's like a huge problem? I guess, okay, they say this very cliche saying in AA, which is it's fun and then it's fun with problems and then it's just problems. And I found that to be very true for me. So like in high school when I started,

you know, I would smoke weed with my friends on the weekend. Can you give me context of where you grew up? Yeah. So I grew up 10 miles west of Chicago in a place called Downers Grove, which is happier than it sounds. It's a nice suburb right outside of the city. And addiction just runs in my family. So, you know, my dad's like, here's 20 bucks. Go get me some weed when I'm 14, 15. You know, like it was just OK in my house to drink and smoke weed and whatever. There wasn't a lot of structure, a lot of love, especially for my mom. She loved us to death, but it was a little chaotic too. So I started like drinking and using in high school and then like eventually found other drugs like cocaine and ecstasy, Molly, whatever you want to call it.

And then it just kind of progressed from there. And then I actually am really grateful that I discovered cocaine because it's such a hardcore drug. You can't just do cocaine like sporadically and be fine. I mean, I guess some people do, but I couldn't. And I feel like it brought me to my knees quicker. It made me hit my bottom. What age is this? You find it. So I found it when I was like 16, but I would, I actually would do it here and there. But then that was like my drug of choice when I moved out here. It was just the one that I became addicted to.

Like 18? 18? Yeah. Okay. By 22, I realized that I was putting like drugs and alcohol before my career and before my passion. And I just had this moment of clarity that if I didn't get sober, if I didn't stop drinking and using, I was never going to reach my potential. And I knew I had a lot to give. Like since I was a kid, I always wanted to make people laugh on a big scale. That was always my obsession. Like as a

kid, I was a class clown. I was straight C's and D's in school, but it was all about like, how can I make every kid in this class piss themselves from laughter? Like, how can I do that? And I was obsessed with it and I was really good at it. And so I knew I was going to do comedy. And like, so I wrote a letter to SNL when I was like nine, like dear SNL, I'm going to make your show so funny. Love Laura. You know, like I just always know it was like one of those things. I wonder if Lauren Michael ever got it. I don't know. But, but anyway, so,

so then like 22, 23 is when I first saw that I was putting drugs and alcohol before my passion. And for me to not achieve my potential and do what I love for a living was to die. Like I just knew I had a lot to give and this is what made me happy. And I could see that drugs and alcohol were getting in the way. So that was my moment of clarity. It wasn't a physical, you know, people talk about hitting rock bottom. They're on skid row. I wasn't. I had an apartment. I was booking independent films, tons of commercials, bad sitcoms. Like I was a working actor before I was on social media and I was making just enough to pay my rent and eat food just enough. Is it like one of those things where

you're waking up and drinking or is it like just when you drink, it was like extreme, like could go for five days that I was a binge drinker and it wasn't even ever five days, but it was just when I did drink. And that's another misconception of alcoholism. People think if you're not waking up and drinking, maybe you don't have a problem. That's not true. I would even go like a month without to do like a cleanse or something. But when I did drink, I struggled to stop. And then by the end, when I did pick up a drink, I, and I never drink in the morning,

you know, but when I did have that first drink, it was really hard to not have the second and then the third. And for me, I then wanted like harder drugs. Like I craved cocaine and that brought me to my knees quicker, like made me hit my bottom quicker was the drugs. So when you have your epiphany, do you immediately go into rehab? Do you go to AA? Like what's, what was your plan when you had the epiphany? I had that epiphany and then I ignored it and probably continued on for a little bit. But I would say like my first, okay, my first time of going into the rooms of AA was, and I write about this in my first book, was I was in a long-term relationship with this German

guy named Rudolf. You remember Rudolf? I remember Rudolf. Yes. So he was like a good influence on me. Although now looking back, kind of weird, like 17 years older. I was 18. He was 37. So what I thought was like a good influence. Now I look back and I'm kind of like, hmm, that's a little creepy. That's a little Leonardo DiCaprio-y, right? Like 18 and 37.

It's a big difference. But nonetheless, he was like very healthy and like helped me get my first commercial agent was like very encouraging to me and, you know, didn't use drugs and like introduced me to yoga and like taught me how to cook and to wake up early and to meditate. And so he was a good influence in a lot of ways. But towards the end, he wanted to get married and have kids. And we had been together a couple of years. So maybe this is around 22. We've been together a couple of years and I just did. I was not ready to get married and have kids. He was.

So instead of like having an adult conversation with him and saying, hey, I want to break up because I don't want to get married and have kids right now. And you do. I decided to go to a bar and I met this like random Irish guy at the bar and he was like, hey, do you want to go to Mexico? And I was like, yes, yes, I do. So we literally, and this is the, how dangerously impulsive I was in my addiction and also my inability to like have confrontation and things like that. I was just running away rather than having adult conversations. Right.

So instead of breaking up with him, I drove to Mexico with this random Irish guy. I met at a bar that day. Fucking drove there. Like you went to like TJ? Oh, Tijuana. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Literally went to Tijuana. I thought he was like escorting you down to like Puerto Vallarta or Cabo or like. Nope. Tijuana. We drove. Okay. Yep. Michaelijuana. We drove. Okay. Yep.

Michael, this isn't like they're going to the one and only like. Oh, I just. Michael's. I don't think. I think it's a different kind of Mexico. Okay. No. I mean, listen, I can envision it.

We grew up in San Diego, so I get it. Okay. Oh, we stopped there. Okay. Wait. So literally, dude. And he was the worst. Okay. We had nothing in common in the sky like

we met at the bar and we were fighting like a married couple within 20 minutes i hated his taste in music he we were like bickering the whole drive there like there was nothing romantic about this and you guys are whacked out on cocaine or we weren't actually on cocaine but he was definitely an alcohol he was a drinker. And I was too. So we were drinking, like, yeah. There was alcohol involved, yes. Okay, okay. And actually, I met him that night at the bar. And we went to Mexico that next morning.

So it wasn't actually the same day. Just to preface, like, yeah. Oh, God. Horrible. So I go to Mexico with this guy the next day and we stop in San Diego. And it was this was another like terrifying experience. We're like bickering the whole way and we get in this fight. We've just met. It's just ridiculous. So we're at this motel and I was like, you know what? I'm going to

go take a walk on the beach and it's nighttime now. And I'm walking down this like random beach in San Diego. And I see there's this like house with a garage right there on the beach. There's these three guys. They look like frat bro guys. And they're like, hey, like, do you want to come have a beer with us in our garage? And I'm like, yes. Obviously I do. You sound fun.

Obviously I do. So where's the Mick at this point? What's he doing? He's in the motel. He's like passed out. And what about Rudolph? Rudolph is at home in LA. Okay. And he has no clue where you are. No. Okay. No, I just left the picture to paint. I just left. I did. He doesn't, he did not know where I was. And this was like towards the end of our relationship. I am surprised at how tolerant he was of my horrific behavior.

But also, too, I was like a kid. Well, 22 is not a kid. But when we met, I was 18. I mean, my brain was not fully developed. Let's put it that way. Still isn't. But anyway, so the Mick is at the motel. Are we allowed to say Mick?

I don't know. Is that offensive? I think it's okay. I'm like 50% Irish. I'm part too, so I feel like. But anyway, so we had gotten in some dumbass fight. I don't even know about what. So I'm walking down the beach.

The three frat guys are like, hey, you want to come in our garage and drink? I'm like, obviously, yes. I can see nothing wrong with this. So I go in. We're all sitting around and they're all kind of staring at me and I'm drinking the beer. And then all of a sudden, I have this other moment of clarity, like, what the hell am I doing here? There's these three big frat guys sitting there staring at me like a piece of meat and I'm drinking my beer. And I'm

just thinking, OK, this is probably very dangerous. And I get that realization. And so I put down my beer after I finish it. And then I say, Hey guys, I'm going to head out. I gotta go. And I get up to walk out of the garage. The one guy, the one frat guy gets up, pushes the garage door to shut the garage garage starts shutting down. I see. And it was like, again, the instincts go and it's like, OK, they're going to they're going to hurt me. I know it. So I duck under the garage as it's going down and I run so fucking fast down the beach, back to the motel. Then a bottle is thrown. A glass bottle from one of the beers is thrown. One of the dudes threw it, tried to hit me, did not hit me. And I just keep running and running and running and get back to

the motel. I'm banging on the door to get in. Brian, Brian, let me in, let me in. Nothing. Let me in, let me in. Of course, he has the key. I don't know the key. Banging, banging banging banging middle of the night he's not answering just will not open the door so i go to the it's like one of those like old motels where there's no reception area do you know what i'm talking about there's like a sister motel across the street that had a reception area. Do you know what I'm talking about? I know what you're talking about. Do you know the area you were in?

No. It sounds like she was in PB or Mission Valley, if I'm guessing. Probably that. Or maybe Oceanside. Dude, I don't. I think Mission Valley. So there was like a sister motel across the street, and they had someone work. Because there was no one working at 2 in the morning on this side of the motel.

But on the other side. So I had to go across the street to the other side and ask the receptionist to come and let me in. And he let me in. And the dude, the Irish dude, is just like laying there like sleeping. But like there's no way you wouldn't have woken up from me banging on the door. I wouldn't have woken up. Really? Nope.

Wouldn't have woken up. For all these the door. I wouldn't have woken up. Really? Nope. Wouldn't have woken up. For all these years I'm thinking he just was fucking with me. Sometimes I like open an eye and can hear it and then I just go back to sleep. I wouldn't have woken up. Really? No. Okay, so maybe it was innocent.

Maybe it was innocent. So that was it. And then we drove to Mexico from there. And then... So after all this we're still like, let's keep going to Mexico? Well... Okay.

So, no, I know. It know it's insane well what was the i mean like what did you guys think you were gonna find down there well because here's the thing i was done i was like you're an asshole and i i was so pissed i think i like pushed him on the bed and i was screaming in his face like why didn't you let me in he He was like, I was sleeping. I was trying to get to sleep. I need my eight hours. Oh, my God. So we get in this whole fight, and then I was like, I want to go home. And he was like, we've got to see Mexico.

We've got to go. All right. He somehow convinced me. He somehow convinced me. How was was the trip it was terrible it was absolutely terrible it was terrible okay so what did rudolph say when you got back and how many days later so i went to a random pay phone in tijuana and i called him and it was very dramatic and i remember he picks up hello he's german i was like a lot of accents a. I can't not do someone's accent when I'm talking about them. I love it. Like, I can't not.

Go. It's impossible. You're good at it. Go. So he's like, hello. And I'm like, enough. I'm into you, Anna. And then he's like, come home, Laura.

Yeah, like, I'll never forget that. It was so, even at the time I was like, is my life a movie? Someone call cut, please. So at what point do you decide that you're going to rehab? Is that when you come back and you come home and he wants you to do yoga and wake up early? Was this guy just like so mature. And like, he was just like, he was mature. It's just like, this is the breaking point for him was when I came, he said, come home. So I come home and he's, and he says, you've got to leave. You've got to hit enough. Yeah. He had had enough. So how do

you find a rehab like that quick? So I'd never went to rehab actually. Never went? No, I only got sober through Alcoholics Anonymous, which is like a free program. You could just go in there all over. That's amazing. And it won and done, like, because sometimes it takes people different kinds of times. Yeah, it took me a little bit of time. But so from there, so he said, you've got to leave. So I fly back home to Downers Grove where I'm from and I go home and I, you know, I'm depressed and,, and she's this whole character, right? She's always in this big mink coat.

She always had her fur coats and her cigarettes and too much Botox and hairspray. And we always meet at this Mexican restaurant on fucking Ogden Avenue. And we always would meet there. And she's my godmother, and she never had kids. So I'm like the daughter she never had kids. So I'm like the daughter she never had. So very close. And she's one of the only sober people in my

family. In fact, she is the only one besides me that's in recovery. She had been sober from alcohol for maybe 20 years. So she sits there with her big mink coat and her cigarette and she looks at me and she goes, you look like shit, Laura. Your hair looks like a rat's nest. And when she said that, I was like, oh my God, I need to get sober. It was like, but she really, she goes, you look like shit. Your hair looks like a rat's nest. She goes, I can tell you have a problem. And if you don't get sober, you know, it's going to be bad. She said, I think you need help. She could just tell from looking at me. It was like, we know. And she could see from, from looking at me that I had an alcohol problem. I probably looked emaciated and dark circles and hair looked like a rat's nest. And

so she was the one who said, I think you have a problem. And it was that relief when someone says that to you and you're so deep in your addiction? Is that relief or is that more stress? Yeah, I think it was relief. Yeah. It was the moment that it stuck for me that that moment. And she told me how she got sober. And all of a sudden I felt like it was possible to get clean. And it didn't really seem like it was working for me anymore. Like I said, it was fun and fun with problems and then just problems. Now we're in the just problems bed, you know?

And so I flew back to LA and I started going to AA meetings and it took me a couple rounds. Like you said, it doesn't always happen right away. And it took me a little bit. At one it doesn't always happen right away and it took me a little bit at one point I thought I could do like marijuana maintenance because I didn't think weed was my problem so like I could smoke a little weed I just won't drink or do hard drugs but then inevitably that brought me back to alcohol so at what point do you meet your husband? So I meet my husband when I'm 24 and we, I was 59 days sober. And where, where I had been career wise at this point, when you meet your husband career wise, I was

making my living off doing commercials and the odd sitcom. And I had just booked an independent film with Jason Bateman and Olivia Wilde called The Longest Week. And I played a dumb model named Bunny. And the opening scene in the movie

was me in bed with Jason Bateman. No sex, but just waking up in the morning. I didn't see his dick, no. Not even a penis? Unfortunately, no.

Oh, okay. No, it was just, and he was very nice. Seems like a nice guy. Yeah, he was really super nice. But such a director. Like, I'm so glad he's directing Ozark. It's Ozark, right?

Yeah, it's incredible. It just ended, but it's incredible. Because on this movie, there was this, like, young independent film director who was my friend. And he called me. It was in New York. And he called me. He was like, Laura, I really want you to do this role, but you've got to fly yourself out because it's an indie film and we don't have the budget. So he's like, you've got to fly yourself out because it's an indie film and we don't have the budget. So he's like, you got to fly yourself out and put yourself up

and the role is yours. And I was like, okay, cool. So this was like when I was very newly sober. And so I was broke. I had spent my money on drugs and like I was just barely getting by at this point. And so I asked my sister to borrow money and then I looked on Facebook and I was

like, I've got to find somewhere to stay in New York. So I find this girl I went to high school with who was living in New York. And I was like, hey, Kelly, I booked a movie in New York. Can I stay with you? And she was like, OK. So I get to fucking Kelly's house, dude. And it's a studio apartment. It's literally the size of this room. there's one bed so now kelly and i kelly from high school who i haven't talked to in years are sharing a bed and i'm just like so you remember miss high teen she's like yeah like it was really awkward so i stayed there for like a couple weeks kelly sounds like a nice person she was super nice super nice to let me stay there she's gonna hear this podcast and ask you to come stay at your house now.

Kelly's a big listener of ours. She's a big listener of ours. Kelly, you're welcome anytime. But Stephen, yeah. Can you imagine somebody calling us from high school asking to stay? I don't, no way. No fucking way. Right?

You know what I mean? Like that was so nice of her. Yeah, no way. I feel like you wouldn't even let your mom stay at the house. I mean, yeah, even relatives. I'm like, no way. Let alone high school. High school acquaintances. Dinosaurs from high school.

We didn't need a place to stay. Oh, Taylor needs a place to stay. Yeah, no chance. No chance. So you're 59 days sober. You're working on this movie. You meet Stephen on the movie. I love that sound. You love that sound. I love this platform. Shopify. I've used it for years. We have used Shopify for years. We use it for the Skinny Confidential product line.

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The movie happened actually literally like a couple of weeks after Steven and I met. Got it. But you were saying like, where were you in your career? I went on a tangent because obviously... Yeah. So like I was, but I was, so where I was, I was living with my best friend from three-year-old preschool. His name's Jack. And we've just been best. I mean, we went to three-year-old preschool. We became best friends in junior high, but we were living together and, you know, I was making just enough to like pay my rent, like through, you know, like I said, commercials and sitcoms. And then I was about to book this

film right after I met Stephen. So Stephen and I was 59 days sober and I meet Stephen at a party and my sister was the one who invited me. My sister is an Anglophile, which means she's obsessed with all things British. She only hangs out with British people, only talks about British things. She even acquired a British accent

to the point where she literally called me and was like, Laura, do you want to get some tea? And I'm like, you're from Chicago. But literally was obsessed with all things British. And is your only sister? Two. I have two older sisters. The middle sister, I'm the youngest, and then my middle sister's

the Anglophile, and then my oldest sister is like a high school math teacher, still living in the Chicagoland area. Which one was Rufy? The Anglophile. Got it. Yeah. She was like, I feel crazy.

Blimey. Anyway, so she calls me and she's like, Laura, you're being so antisocial. You need to get out of your apartment and come to this party. Or sorry, she was like, come to this party right now. And because I was being sort of antisocial, I was newly sober. Like I just didn't really want to risk being around alcohol at the time. Now I have over 10 years sober. I could be around it. It's all good. But at the time it was a little difficult for me. So I was being very antisocial. So I was also dating this guy who was an entertainment lawyer named Ben. And

we weren't exclusive, but we were dating. Like we hadn't had the talk, but we were dating. So I call Ben and I say, hey, my sister invited me to this party. It was at the producer of Radiohead, who was my sister's ex-boyfriend. It was his house. And it was like all these Brits, whatever. So I call Ben, who's the entertainment lawyer who I'm dating. And I say, hey, you know, my sister invited me to this party. Do you want to go with me? And he was like, yeah, okay. So then he calls me at like 6 p.m. and he goes, hey, work is running late. I can't make the party tonight. And I thought, oh my God, this is great. What a great excuse not to go to this party. Ben canceled, so I'm not going to go. So I call my sister. I say, hey, Ben canceled, so I can't come to the party. And she's like, Laura,

you're a grown woman. You don't need a man to take you to a party. Get your ass here now. And I was like, oh, fine. So I begrudgingly went to this party. I walk in. There's this whole garden area where everyone's hanging out. And I walk in and these, my sister and her friends always had weird theme parties. It was never just like a party. Like there was always a weird theme attached to it. So this theme was dress

like your parents did the year that they gave birth to you. What? That's too complicated. That's too complicated. What the fuck? That hurts my brain. Isn't it? That's too complicated. That's too complex. What the fuck? That hurts my brain.

Doesn't it? Yeah. So I'm thinking 1986. Hmm. Okay. Let's think about this. So my first thought was I'm going to dress in a hospital gown with my ass cheeks out because that is what my mother wore when she gave birth to me. And I really thought about that.

And I thought, that's good. That's commitment. I want to do that. I like it. Didn't you? Yeah. Full ass cheeks out, hospital gown. I love it.

I was committed. And then I thought, I just, I changed my, I'm sober now. I've got to take myself a little more seriously. Okay. So I find this like little pink and black dress, like mini dress from Fred Siegel. It's like this little tight, little cute dress. And I do my hair all big and curly. It was looking cute. And so walk in and I see this man and he's standing across the garden area and he's wearing this beautiful suit and he had this really nice smile. And I remember looking

across the room and just spotting him and seeing this man with this beautiful smile. He was laughing with his friends. And I just remember distinctively thinking that man has a beautiful smile and I want to talk to him. And so I make my way over and I noticed that he's holding a bottle of water and I was like okay Laura he's holding water think think think and I just went up to him and I was like hey where'd you get your water and then that's good I like that really yeah

I like it okay thank you it's so simple but it's like unique yeah and I literally did want some water so it wasn't even like it was just a line. Like I genuinely was thirsty. So I, he then looks at me and he's like, like he's sort of like taken aback.

And then I just keep talking cause I'm nervous. So I'm like, yeah, no, I just, I love, I just love water. Like it's really important to stay hydrated.

And that is the first thing I ever said to him. Where'd you get your water? I just, I love water. It's important to stay hydrated. And that is the first thing I ever said to him. Where'd you get your water? I just, I love water. It's important to stay hydrated. That is the quote. Like I'll never forget the first words I said to him. And it's so interesting. He's a producer.

Steven. Yes. Which is so crazy because I feel like it compliments everything you do. Yes, yes, yes. So he flew out to actually, he's a composer as well, he's a music producer. So he came out to work with Hans Zimmer,

who's like the biggest film composer in the world. And Hans Zimmer heard his music, because he was writing film scores in indie films in London. And Hans heard his music and was like, come out to Los Angeles and work for me. And Stephen's like, okay. Did Hans do the Pirates of the Caribbean? Taylor did he Google that or I know I mean obviously no he is but he's done like everything but like Steven worked He's done everything. Yeah, Steven did Transformers Madagascar Mission Impossible

He did I knew Hans Zimmer did that yeah, there you go there you go So Steven worked on all these big Hollywood movies with Hans. And that's why he moved to L.A. So you're both very talented. It's interesting that you found each other at a party both with water. Very talented. Well, yes. And so he goes, I said, it's really important to stay hydrated.

And then he looks at me and he goes, obviously, you don't love water. You would have brought some yourself. And I was like, are you accusing me of not liking water? Because I do like water. I just didn't bring any, but I do actually love water. And he was like, I'm just saying, if you really loved it, you would have brought some. So the chaos is already starting before like even like the first step. Yes. Love it. Yeah. So I was like, whatever, I'm going to go find some water. And I like leave. And then I mingle for like 30 minutes. And then I'm, everyone's getting progressively drunker and higher. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to go find some water. And I like leave. And then I mingle for like 30 minutes. And then I'm, I'm, everyone's getting progressively drunker and higher. And I'm like, okay, I'm going

to go. So I was like, I guess I'll say goodbye to the water guy. So I go back to Steven and I was like, Hey, like I'm leaving. And he was like, why are you leaving? And I said, cause I'm the only sober person here. And he goes, well, I'm sober. And it was this moment of like, oh, you're sober too. Like that makes sense. You've got the water. And then I was like, I'm sober. And it was this moment of like, oh, you're sober too? Like, that makes sense. You've got the water. And then I was like, sober, sober? Because there's two different types of sober.

There's like, I'm driving tonight sober. Like, I'm a raging alcoholic. And that's why I'm sober. And he was like, sober, sober. And it was very clear that he was sober like I was sober. So all of a sudden, we had this instant connection. And we start talking. And he's been sober for almost 10 years at that point. And he was like, I'm new to LA. Like, do you know of any

good AA meetings? And I was like, yes, I have one tomorrow that I go to at the log cabin in West Hollywood. And he was like, great, I'll meet you there. We met at the AA meeting and then we had like a three hour lunch after and we just laughed the whole time. And truly the rest is history. And I think about that a lot. And I think about is history. And I think about that a lot. And I think about that day. And I think about if Ben had not canceled on me, if Ben, the guy that I was dating had come with me to that party, I would have never met Steven. I certainly would have asked, wouldn't have asked him where he got his water and flirted with him because that would have been rude. I mean, I don't know. You went to Mexico with the other guy. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right. But I do think about that.

And I think, how would my life be different? Like, don't you ever think about those little moments all the time that change your whole life? Yeah. There's something in your book that you did that I pinned to my Pinterest board. And you talk about how you were dating your husband at the time. It's like, I think you said three months in, correct me if I'm wrong. And he, you hacked into his Facebook and he was doing something shady and you decided that you, this is so good. I literally like highlighted, I swear to for inspo, you projected onto a huge big screen TV, the DMs and Facebook that were inappropriate. So when he walked in, everything was dark. Yes. Besides on a huge big screen TV, the inappropriate DMs. I love that. I mean, I really love that. I was like, wow, this is like some cinema. You get some drama. You hit it from all angles.

What's he going to say when he walks in? And where were you when he saw this? In the dark, sitting on the couch. Oh, yeah. I was sitting right there waiting for his ass to get home. Nice and dark. Oh, Jesus Christ. And play the Gone Girl music.

Oh, yeah. Sugarstorm. That's right. Yes. Exactly. When he walked in, you're in the dark. Oh, yeah. And that's projected onto the screen

right what did he do he was like oh dude no he was like his eyes got even bigger than they already are oh my god and then the most pathetic response which you know people have those right when they're caught i've had them we've all had them most people have had them who did that that is disgusting that is really sick i think someone hacked into my computer that is disgusting taylor are you related wait did taylor do the hacker oh taylor's done the hacker taylor's done way worse taylor's done way worse. So. The fucking hacker. What did you do? Did you say you're done? I was like, oh, come on.

He was like, it was a hacker. I don't, I would have, that is really sick. What was he doing? He was like DMing? He said it was a hacker that hacked into his. But was he just like going back and forth with somebody? Yeah. It was like flirtatious.

Like there was this German girl. I don't know. Rudolph's sister. Yeah. And they were just like having flirtatious conversations. This is early in the relationship. We had been dating for maybe a month or something. We were new.

And so you open up about that. You didn't open up about that in your first book. And then you also open up. And I was like, this was such a moment that I think for women to read. So important. Cheating. Yeah. Yeah. Why did you decide to open up about that? Well, because I needed stories for my second book.

You're like, go cheat on me so I can get some content, bitch. Yeah. Yeah. No, I, I, because I, I made a pact to myself to be rigorously honest in the second book. And I was in my first book, but there were still, I really dug deep and went, what were the stories I withheld from my first book? Because I was scared to be judged and I was just scared of criticism and what people would think of me or of us. And so there were certain things. And that's why I have a whole chapter called the story, me too, though, the stories I was too scared to tell, which I go into all of those stories that for one reason or another, I was too scared to tell in my first book. I also think that I was just so sick of seeing like hashtag relationship goals under like all of our posts.

And it's like, no, dude, like we're just as flawed as every other couple. Like we don't people, your people that were in your community following you, writing that about your relationship. Okay. Okay. Yes. Sorry. Yes. So like we would, I, every time he's in a video with me or whatever, it's always hashtag

relationship goals. Oh my God, the perfect couple or whatever. Like we would just get comments like that. And we are a wonderful match. We really are. But like we're flawed too. And I wanted to write about that. And of course, I asked him and I said, hey, I want to write about the time that you cheated on

me. And during your relapse is, you know, are you OK with that? Because it is his story, too. And if he wasn't OK with it, I have honored that you know because it's his story too how did you not want to kill the person that was like involved with him because it sounds like you were pretty pragmatic about it like in the book you were like you were like it's his fault you like realized yeah but of course i wanted to to kill her that's why I drove to where they were going to meet and looked for her because I wanted to murder her. In the dark to a projector sugar storm. Yes, exactly. I bet you had something creative. There was a moment where I did. And then when I thought about it and I'm looking around for this woman that I don't know what she looks like, you'll have to get my book to for more details yeah you guys but it's way in depth

yeah it's intense yeah but then I just had this again this this moment of clarity where I was like it's not her I should be after it's it's him like was it easy to repair that after him like he cheated or was it a lot of work? You know, I think because I've been unfaithful clearly, right. Mexico. And I could empathize with it. Yeah. Like I, especially being in your addiction, like he, at the time was, he had relapsed. He was on drugs during that time. So he was not himself. It was not good. We were married at this point for four or five years. Children at this time or no? No.

No children. No children. And we were all good. And then he got in a little bender bender and was like, my back hurts. Went to the doctor. The doctor was like, here's some drugs. And then, oh, I have trouble sleeping. Here's some drugs. And then I have anxiety. here's some drugs. And then, oh, I have trouble sleeping. Here's some drugs.

And then I have anxiety. Here's some drugs. And they just, he kept like doctor shopping. And he was addicted to so many different prescription drugs that like he was not acting himself. He was also in denial. Every time I tried to question him about his drug use, he'd say they're all doctor prescribed. I'm still sober. To the point where he was still taking cakes in AA meetings like for his sober birthday because in his mind,

he's sober because they're all doctor prescribed, but he's abusing these drugs. And eventually he realized that he comes home one day and he's like, I have to stop. I have to stop. He throws all his pills down the toilet and then he starts like shaking and seeing things. And so I'm freaking out. So I call someone in the program and I'm like, hey, like Steven and seeing things and so i'm freaking out so i call someone in the program and i'm like hey like steven's seeing things that aren't there he just threw out all his pills and they were like get him to the hospital now and i was like okay so i take him to the hospital and within 20 minutes of being in the hospital he's in a full seizure full massive withdrawal massive withdrawal yeah you can if you stop cold turkey taking Xanax,

which they'll say is the least addictive anti-anxiety, which is a lie, and they don't care. But Xanax, I think Oxy can do it too. But if you just stop cold turkey after abusing it, you can go into a full seizure and die. I mean, it happens. And it almost did to him. I thought he died in front of me.

That's important to say. I think for anyone who's listening, you said that in your book too. Like that's such a good tip. I mean, you can't just cut it cold turkey. Hair's looking nice and full. Hair is looking nice and full postpartum. And you know what? That is thanks to Nutraful.

I just went and got a blowout and the stylist literally complimented me on the thickness of my hair. And this is a big deal because with Zaza, after I gave birth, I wasn't necessarily experiencing thinning hair. It was just falling out like it, like I would lose hair in the shower or on my pillowcase. And now so far I do not have that. And I talk about this all the time, but I attribute that to scalp massage with a little bit of scalp serum. I think that really gets the circulation going. I also do microneedling around my scalp.

And then I use Nutrafol. The postpartum one is legit. It's the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement. And it's clinically shown to improve your hair growth, thickness, and visible scalp coverage. It obviously supports healthy hair too, and it's going to get to the five root causes. And the root causes are stress, hormones, environment, nutrition, and metabolism. The one that I am taking right now is the postpartum. They also have a menopause one too, which is awesome. Everything with Nutrafol, which I love, is natural and drug-free. It's medical grade ingredients. And all you do, like I just leave it out in like a little heart tin

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So I wasn't. But I think to be safe, medically detox. Yeah. You don't have to tell us the full story because there's so many stories in your book. But one that stood out that I was like, I was dying and I like love that you shared was the massage parlor. Yeah. Hold on.

So you go to, you book a massage, thinking like you're going in for like a Thai massage. The reason, by the way, this is so interesting to me is because I have this addiction to foot spas. Well, she told me that, Lauren told me this story. Really bad addiction. She told me this story. And then I started thinking like you go to these things like every week. I honestly don't care if they finger bang me while they're

rubbing my feet because I'm so comfortable. It's just like, have they tried? No, I mean, yeah. No, they haven't tried. I just get my feet done. And for two hours, I sit there. I know those places you're talking about. They're amazing. It's uninterrupted work away from the baby, away from Michael. I can sit there and just work and have my feet rubbed. I hope that's all that's getting rubbed. What the hell is going on over there?

Now I'm going to start thinking. You can come with me. I'm going to go check this place out. You have come with me before. Okay, so you go to just like a massage place. I'm thinking it's check this place out. You have come with me before. Okay. So, so you go to just like a massage place. I'm thinking it's hole in the wall.

Is that right? Yeah, pretty much. And you book a massage and you go in and you think you're getting a massage. Yeah. And I did. I did. So when she starts like going deeper, lower,

she didn't finger bang me. She literally made me orgasm from's the thing. She didn't finger bang me. She literally made me orgasm from over the sheets. I've never experienced anything like it. Okay. Does she know what she's doing? It was wild. Of course she knows what she's doing. Clearly. Clearly. What are you talking about? Well, at first, I didn't know

because I was like, she's just massaging like really close to the area. And so I was like, whoa, I'm getting really turned on right now but i don't know like am i horny or is she like purposely touching me in this area because sometimes you can't help it right you're being rubbed in certain areas and like maybe you feel a little some type of way but it's innocent taylor's like what is the massage parlor right what street is it on i'm getting aroused right now

go ahead go ahead because you have to tell the best part of the story go ahead well no it was just that and like so she's you know like rubbing me in that area but again like i said it was over the sheets like she wasn't actually touching my vagina like Like she was over the sheets, but she was like rubbing like this, like, like that, like that, like my vagina. So she knew what she was doing,

but like, it was like, she was rubbing me. And then it was like, Oh my God, whatever you're doing, like, this is wild.

And she was like, does that feel good? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it does. She was like, okay. But like, you know, she asked me, does that feel good? And I think that was her way of saying, should I keep going? Because if I was like, no, then she would have stopped. But I was like, yes, which gave her the go ahead to keep going. So you have an orgasm? Yeah. And then

this is the best part of the whole story. What happened? Well, I had to go back and just see what that was about. Was it a loud orgasm or a silent? I was pretty chill about it. So she probably didn't know that you had just climaxed. I think she did. I think she knew, but I was very subtle

with it. I was like, but not like, oh, did. I think she knew, but I was very subtle with it. Like, I was like, like that. But not like, oh, God! Like, I wasn't like that. That's what I was hoping for. You know, like, I wasn't like that because I also didn't want the other people to hear me. Like, the other people getting innocent massages. You know what I mean? They're just trying to get their fucking foot rubbed.

Oh, yeah! You know, no. I didn't want that. I was probably next door. Yeah, exactly. Working on emails. I didn't want you to hear me specifically. Okay, so you go back. So it was like very, very subtle. And when you go back to she knew that you're like back for more. Yeah. She was like, you're back for more.

Back for more. Didn't even have to say anything. It was like implied. So I, yeah, it's interesting because you always hear about like happy ending places, but like you never experienced. No one's ever talked about it. I love that you're pissed. You're like, no one's ever offered me.

I was thinking that actually. I'm like, why haven't I ever been offered? Well, Lauren, you're on there with your fucking emails. You're probably like this person. You're not giving off the like, I want to come by. Also, I'm 600 months pregnant like no not her today. Literally pregnant

do you get horny pregnant? Yeah. Yeah. So there you go. You know what Michael if you're tired you know what Lauren you're putting off the vibe because you're in there with your emails and your contraptions and you're not. Good to know. I need to put off a different vibe. You need to put off the different vibe. So when you tell your husband hey like listen

what does he say is he mad or is he turned on so like literally I did not tell him until I was writing this book I literally I just never said anything so and my point of writing that was like

okay I'm not perfect either and that's And that's cheating. That's cheating. That is cheating. I also cheated. Did he think it was cheating? He got just like super turned on. I know.

He just like got frisky. Like he was like, tell me more. We're the worst. We're the worst. Yeah. Like not for even a second was he upset about that. Not for one. Taylor, would you be mad?

No, not at all. I'd be like, awesome. I want to know the details too. I understand. I don't know if I want you behind me the rest of this interview. My pants are getting tighter every second. Oh my God, Taylor, literally. Okay. So yeah, these are just some of the stories that you guys can read in this book. I mean, it's really, really captivating. I feel like Michael and Taylor want to go pick up the book and read it. So I need to get also the audio book is really fun, too, because you read it. Yeah, it's just more it takes you there. I'm sure there's a lot of accents. Yeah, there's a lot of accents. It just takes you there in a way.

My audio books always we outsell my book books. Just that's interesting. Yes. And they do with most like female comedians, actually, because you want to hear it. True. It Really? That's interesting. Yes. And they do with most like female comedians actually because you want to hear it. True. It's just, it's like a movie. So what Taylor's doing right now is he's on Audible buying it

and he's going to skip to the part where you talk about your massage so he can re-listen to it while he does his business later. Oh my God. Okay, I should recreate that. Yeah.

In like a non-pornographic way. I'm like recreating stories from my book. You should recreate that one. I don't know how I could recreate it in like a non-pornographic way i'm like recreating stories from my book you should recreate that one i don't know how i could recreate it in like a non-porny way you should do it as if you're in like a setting of like an old english library like hello chaps taylor's like customizing it to like his you're a fucking creep drink some tea wear this color so I want to get to the part of where you give birth live natural the first time, right? Second. Second. First of all, how bad is natural birth? Are you considering? I don't know. After reading your chapter, I was like, should I? I couldn't I couldn't decide what way you were

trying to sway me. Well, yeah. If you had to do it again, what are you doing? I would go natural. Really? Yes. What were the sounds coming out of you? Do you want to do it again, what are you doing? I would go natural. Really? Yes. What were the sounds coming out of you? Do you want to know why? Because I have a theory that you're going to feel pain with childbirth regardless, whether it's after or during. If you get the epidural, the pain's going to be after. You feel like you're hit by a truck.

I didn't feel that much pain. You didn't? Uh-uh. I just felt like there was a bowling ball coming out. Like, it's pressure. Did you have an epidural? Yeah, I didn't have like. No, but pain postpartum.

I liked birth. Pain postpartum. It wasn't that bad. No, but Lauren, you're forgetting. I may be forgetting though. I might be forgetting. Lauren had. I mean, she talked about it.

We've talked about it. She's had terrible postpartum. You forget. Anxiety and depression. But I'm not talking about what you're. Physical pain? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't have like.

Did you tear? Uh-uh. You didn't tear? No. Okay. I don... Physical pain? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't have like... Did you tear? Uh-uh. You didn't tear? No. Okay. I don't think... I mean, maybe that had like one stitch or something. So then, you know,

if you had a good birth with an epidural, do that. So... Do that. Doing it again though, you do natural. Yeah, because I didn't like the epidural because I couldn't feel anything. I was completely numb to the point where when it was time to push, I didn't know because I couldn't feel anything. I was completely numb to the point where when it was time to push, I didn't know because I couldn't feel anything because I was completely numb.

And yeah, they put too much in me, I think. Or like I had more time in between. So it was worn off. Maybe we like you had less time. Does that make sense? Maybe, maybe. But you didn't feel like you were hit by a truck after, after the epidural wore off? You weren't, because I was in so much pain after.

I don't remember it. You know what, Loni? Forget. You got, you're allergic to whatever that spray is. Oh, that was the worst part. And they fucked you up from that. That was the worst part. The tape.

It was like a gnarly gnarly. No, but that was, that was the worst part though. That's what I'm saying. That wasn't, that's not what she's talking about. No, she's forgetting. She was, you were uncomfortable. Okay. But like in your head, it's funny how nature makes us forget.

I don't remember. So we'll have more babies. Yeah. Probably because it's a trauma, right? It's a trauma, right? Really manipulative. Real manipulative. Seriously.

It reminds me of like an ex. But it sounds like you had a good birth. I had a great birth. Easy. So why would you even change it? Just to experience it, I guess. You could always see how far you can get without if you're interested in what that feels like. And then if it's too much, I don't know if I'm interested.

Then there you go. Okay. So you decide to have to do. First of all, when you give birth on Facebook live, do we get to see the crowning in the vagina or you can't show that I didn't get birth on Facebook live. I gave birth on like I filmed. We filmed the birth and then I posted it after. But can you see everything? I blurred a little vagina out, but you could see like blood. You could see stuff. Yeah. So it's not like it's from behind and you're vlogging on YouTube. You could see. Yeah. You could literally see with Alfie. You could literally see Alfie coming out. What inspired you to give birth on Facebook and what inspired like was that like gnarly? I mean, I would just feel like that's so much energy in the room.

Yeah. I just love birth stories. I could watch them all day. If you've posted your birth vlog online, I've watched it six times with snacks. Like I love watching women give birth. It's really weird. I love it. I've watched every type natural epidural C-section free birthing, all of it. I fucking love it. But I also grew up making horror films when I was a kid so nothing grosses me out i just think birth is so miraculous and i became like addicted to watching birth stories i loved them and i also wanted to prepare for my own birth so i wanted to see how they would go so i was educating myself on the on what it would look like it makes sense making steven watch them with me he was like god

damn it have any more birth vlogs he's like you God damn it. How many more birth vlogs? He's like, you're projecting it on the screen in the dark? Yes. Yes, exactly. Watch this. That's why I thought, you know what?

We'll film some of it. And by the way, we filmed 15 minutes of like a 16 hour birth. So it wasn't like there was a camera the whole time. It was literally him

with an iPhone filming here and there. Like it was still very intimate. And then I thought I filmed my first contraction and then we filmed a little bit later on. And then we filmed when it was happening. But it was I didn't even realize there was an iPhone camera happening anyway. And I went back and forth on whether or not to post it.

I just thought I like to make content that I want to watch. And I like watching birth stories. It's educational. It's miraculous. So why not? I couldn't see any sort of, I don't know. I just thought it would be interesting and compelling. Incredible. Yeah. I mean, and then not only that, then you also opened up online about your postpartum, which is another thing no one talks about ever. I had really bad postpartum depression, anxiety. It sounds like you did too. Yeah, I did with Poppy.

It was really weird. No, with Alfie, I had a bad physical, like the physical recovery was difficult. With Poppy, which was the natural birth, Alfie was epidural. I had like easy, I was just right back, felt great right after, like just such a difference with Poppy. I was just right back. Felt great right after like just such a difference

with Poppy. But then mentally I struggled with Poppy. Yeah, definitely had some postpartum depression. Did you have tools that you used to help like lift it? Yes, I did. And for me, and I think a lot of people, antidepressants works great. For me, I just didn't want to take them. And I'm not against them, but I wanted to try and get better naturally first, unmedicated, I should say. And then if that wasn't working, absolutely, I would have taken the antidepressants.

No problem if it was becoming debilitating. But so what I did, and this is just me, not a doctor. I know y'all thought I was a doctor, not a doctor. I decided, okay, I got like really sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I was just, the negative voice in my head was so bad. Stephen and I were fighting, like as you do with a newborn, you know, a newborn.

Oh my God. It was like newborn, toddler. My mom was in town. There was just tension and it was just bad. Your mom's trying to give you social media advice. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. It was a lot. It was a lot. Steven and I got in some of the worst fights we've ever been in. It was just not, there were beautiful moments with Poppy, beautiful moments. Someone described motherhood, especially new motherhood, as brutal and beautiful.

And I thought that was pretty spot on. Brutal. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I feel like every girl on the planet can relate to this. You go to the gym. Then maybe you're meeting someone from happy hour.

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She's two. Two and a half. Two and a half? Yep, two and a half. And when does she go to bed? Oh, God. Late? Same with Alfie. Same with Alfie.

She went to bed last night at 9.30 or 10. Same with Alfie. Same with Alfie. Yes, and we're just trying to make it earlier now. Everyone, when I tell them that, is like so judgy about it. That's the time she goes to bed because I would rather her sleep in. Thank you.

So I can get some sleep. Thank you. Like, sorry, I'm just being honest. Literally. And she likes going to bed at that time. I'm going to be honest, too. Lauren and I are very like chaotic individuals. And so everyone's like the schedule, the schedule, the schedule.

And I'm like, listen, like we don't. I'm hanging on by the handlebars. Like sometimes we the schedule, the schedule, the schedule. And I'm like, listen, like we don't, it's not how we live. I'm hanging on by the handlebars. Like, like sometimes we're here. Sometimes we're in Texas. Sometimes we're this place. I'm white knuckling through this.

The kids gotta kind of keep up. Yeah, totally. I mean, listen, and we've, we've had, definitely have had help,

but still it's just, she goes to bed late. She does what she wants, I guess. Yeah. I love that. And she sleeps through the night. She sleeps through the night she sleeps through

the night sometimes until and sometimes she wakes up and screams rice as loud as she can rice or juice oh no it's not cute i'm dead asleep dead asleep juice it's not it's not it's it's cute it's a story but in practice when you're on the receiving end in the middle of the night, it's. Oh, in the middle of the night. In the middle of the night. Like she'll rip you out of bed. She'll come out of nowhere. Like she'll crawl out of wherever she was.

Wait, really? And then you're just done. So she's not in a crib anymore. No, we're getting her out of the crib. Alfie's literally still in a crib. But they say keep him in a crib. Alfie just turned three. We don't know.

Don't ask us. We're not like the experts on babies. He's never tried to get out. So I'm like, you're staying in until you figure out you can get the hell out. Can I tell you what happened? We have the new one coming. And the new one, the room that the first one was in is a better room for the new one. Because it's got, it's just easier access from our bedroom.

And it's just a better room to put a newborn in. So then my dumb ass was like, okay, well, what I'm going to do is I'm going to kick her out of her room. easier access from our bedroom and it's just a better room to put a newborn in so then i my dumb ass was like okay well what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna kick her out of her room yeah that she likes and make her have a new room like so you got a new room the way i made it exciting i was like i found a new big girl bed and it was a huge mistake let me tell you because now she can get out she can get the fuck out now i'm trying to figure out a locked door solution but we have a friend that locks someone in. Or locks her daughter in. And just locks the daughter in and just, like, that's it.

Steven and I were like, is that abusive? But then I think it's the same thing as a crib, right? That's what, yes, exactly. We're like, wait, is it a fire hazard? Because, like, I'm terrified when we transition Alfie that he's going to get up, walk outside and go, go out like to go play. Cause like, you don't know what you're sleeping. Yeah, that's true. Oh, that is true.

Literally like he can unlock the front door. Like what if he just decides to bounce? See, I don't mind. Oh, I never thought about that. Think about it. She won't be able to get like do that. Cause there's other, but like, I, I don't mind if she goes to bed in her room and then gets up in the night and comes into the bed after we've already slept and got organized.

But like trying to, I don't want her to go to sleep with us, you know? Right. Exactly. Because it becomes a habit. Yes. Yeah. So hard. Yeah.

It's so hard. If anyone has any tips, let us know. No, totally. Well, it's funny because I thought Alfie was the only toddler that like went to bed at literally sometimes 930. And we just the past two nights, just the past two nights thought we've got to get his bedtime up just a little. Like, it's so funny you said that because both our kids, Poppy and Alfie, and I just want to say this for any like new expecting parents, don't believe people when they say you're never going to sleep again. I refused to believe that

reality. I refused when they would say, oh, you'll never sleep again. And I was like, nope, that's not my reality. My kids will be amazing sleepers. My kids will be amazing sleepers. You know, Stephen and I are like obsessed with manifestation. Louise Hay Day. You Louise Hay. 100%. Visualization. Every morning and every night, religiously, we'd see we're so happy and grateful. Our kids are incredible sleepers. They sleep through the night. They're healthy. They're happy. They sleep. No joke. These kids sleep till, they slept till 9.30 in the morning. Oh, fuck you.

I swear to God. We got to manifest a little more. Oh my God. I got to turn on Louise Hayes. Dude, manifest that shit, man. She sleeps till 7, 7.30. 9.30. I fucking, dude.

Do they take a nap? Yeah. Alfie sleeps for three hours during the day and Poppy takes two, two two hour two to three hour now i'm gonna have this girl go run laps do you have roofies i'm not no i swear to god they eat a lot of food they they walk they take a lot of walks they like just i'm telling you i and maybe this sounds like so delusional but i feel like we visualized it okay i'm gonna visualize i feel like we we didn't accept when people were like, you're not going to sleep.

I just refused to accept that reality. And then we just, it just happened. This is pumping me up. But I do. I'm into this. Right? Yeah. But I do think a little bit, and we're, Stephen and I are like you guys.

We're a little out there, eccentric. You know what I mean? What gave you that impression of? Like we're not normal. Like, you know, so we're not the most structured individuals. But when we did implement a routine and we weren't like crazy with it, but just like this is the time that they nap. And like that really did help with their sleep schedule is having more set nap times. And we did it out of our sanity.

What time is the nap? Well, for which one? For both. Okay, so like Poppy is one years old and one year old. And so she wakes up, I'm not kidding you, like nine.

Okay. And she goes to bed at like... No, it was easier when they were younger. The two and a half age is hard. Hold on, what time does she go to bed? She goes to bed between like... No, it was easier when they were younger. The two and a half age is hard. Hold on, what time does she go to bed? She goes to bed between seven and eight. Okay. And she just literally plop her down.

I try and rock her and she's like, get me into the crib. Like, I just want to sleep. And she grabs her pacifier and she's just... Like just... She's easy. She sounds easy. Yes, and you're going to have that same thing.

Same thing with this baby. Do you know what girl you're saying? We know. We haven't sounds easy. Yes. And you're going to have that same thing. Same thing with this baby. Do you know, boy, girl, you're saying we know we haven't said we haven't told anyone. Okay. What do you think? I guess manifest boy.

I'm not, I'm not a psychic, but I like to visualize what I want in life. But I think you're having a boy. Okay. I'll message you in the second that I, that I tell people before you go for my own selfish reasons, you have to tell me about why people are so judgmental about breastfeeding because in your book, you talk about this. I don't understand why anyone cares how anyone feeds their baby as long as the baby's getting fed.

It's unbelievable to me that people that you don't know on the internet are chastising you on your Instagram for breastfeeding. Can you talk about that? For breast or for not? For breastfeeding. For breastfeeding. Like in public, basically. Oh, okay. Okay. So people are just offended. I think it's just this prudish. I think it's honestly an American thing too, especially here. It's just the kind of this culture of,

oh, cover up like you're attention seeking because I'm breastfeeding publicly. Like I'll post pictures of it because I think it's beautiful. Why does anyone care? Like I don't- And it because I think it's beautiful. Why does anyone care? Like I don't. And it's women who get really upset, which is crazy to me. You're never going to see.

Yeah. But guys aren't coming to me like, man, I'm pissed off about this. But also some guys are because it's you're using breasts not for them. And they get pissed about that. I'm not going to even try to unpack that. Yeah. Some guys do get pissed because the breasts are being used for something else other than for their enjoyment. So you get a lot of misogynistic comments from men and from women.

And she gets like 5,000 to 10,000 comments on her pictures and her videos. I've perused, especially before this interview. I was like, damn. Oh, you've perused her breastfeeding photos? That's creepy. That sounded strange. I mean, I perused your account. You get a lot of comments.

You get a lot of emails. I specifically went to that. He looked at your breastfeeding photos before. That's fine. Taylor's on your Instagram right now. I'm perusing right now. Call me what you want, Lauren. Free the nip, man.

Honestly. Lauren, I'm a thorough investigator. Free that shit. Did you breastfeed? I breastfed for a little bit. Yeah. I liked it, but I didn't for a little bit. Yeah. I, I liked it,

but I didn't put pressure on myself. That's amazing. But I also didn't look at what anyone else was doing. I literally listened to my intuition of what I wanted to do. And what I wanted to do was do it for a couple months. And then when I felt like I was done with it, I was done with it. I didn't ask any,

I like didn't even want to see the lactation person, like all of that. I just did it in the way that felt natural to me. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, because you know best. You know best. It's wild though. Alfie was two and a half.

Literally. And it was crazy weaning him. He just... Two and a half years is a long time. I know. You're a hero. Well, and I had one on each tit. So I had Poppy on one tit, Alfie on the other. How much work is that? You know, it was it. I'm weird, though, because I like it. You said oxy. Oxytocin. Yes. Oxytocin, serotonin, all those feel good hormones. I'm going to lean into that this birth and see if I get that. I'm going to DM you and tell you, I didn't, I don't remember feeling that.

I didn't mind it. I just don't remember feeling the oxy. Oh, I definitely got that. But, but, but Poppy at 10 months was like, no, done. I want three course adult size meals. By the way, 10 months though is still a really long time to breastfeed. I know. So gnarly.

It is. Especially after you've given your body up for a long time. It's like, I honestly think it's like hero shit. And then it's wild the way your tits just disappear. Like literally I had, I'm probably at a B now. Maybe even an A. I was double D. I had titties for days. From breastfeeding? Yes, girl.

Yes. The milk, they're just woo! And then the second you stop, it's like, mew. But I'm actually excited about this. But I have fake boobs. Okay. I don't know. I feel like they didn't. But they didn't fluctuate? Lauren, are you kidding me? I bet they did.

He knows. Those things are lethal weapons. I don't remember. Massive, right? Right now they are. I'm like an old sow. No, no, no. Right now.

Okay, listen. They're huge. Are they huge? They're not. They're huge. Listen, they're huge to begin with, and then you fill them up with breast milk. Well, they're fake. But they're out of control.

Yesterday I was naked in front of him, and he looked at them up with breast milk. Well, they're fake. Yesterday I was naked in front of him and he looked at me like he was scared. Because they're so massive. He was literally scared. Because if you hit me with one of those things I'm out cold. I'm done. Taylor's loving this episode. This is his favorite episode. He's going to listen back

and make little edits. Listen, I ask this guy every time. Can I get the notes so I know we talk? And this one, we're going to get pages of notes. It's going to be like, it's just going to be a book report. Everyone that is listening should go buy Laura's book. I know you're going to like it. Both of them, Idiots and

Idiot. Idiot is first. Idiot's first. And then Idiots. It's so good, you guys. You will not be able to put it down. I think even Michael and Taylor are going to buy it. Where can everyone find you, your book? Pimp yourself out. Hey, listen, you guys. You will not be able to put it down. I think even Michael and Taylor are going to buy it. Where can everyone find you, your book? Pimp yourself out. Hey, listen, you are a phenomenal guest.

She's a phenomenal. Do you want to come back on? I had more questions. I would absolutely love to. I actually have more questions. This is so enjoyable. I want to know more about your career and how you built it and manifested it, but I had to ask you about the massage parlor first. Totally.

That's a more interesting story, if we're honest, than my career. Okay. Your career is incredible. We can come back on about your career. Yeah. Okay. Okay. That's fine.

So where can everyone find you? We covered a lot of ground here today. We really did. We really did. Where can everyone find your birth? Yeah. So anywhere, any,

your favorite social media, I'm probably on there. What's your favorite social media, by the way? My favorite platform? Yeah. Podcasting social media. I'm probably on there. What's your favorite social media, by the way? My favorite platform? Yeah. Podcasting. Okay.

Yeah. Podcasting. By far. Okay. Because it's nothing to do with the way you look. It's just like you just talk. I love that. It's so nice.

But you've been doing this for a long time, right? Six years. Wow. A long time. And it started from a blog. It started from a blog. In college. In college.

Yeah, I did my research. You did your research. Thank you. I'm kind of wondering why you guys went in high school 12 12. we haven't been together that long that's right that's right it's like it was childhood this is like a lot a lot of stuff in between there i have questions about you guys one day i'll write a book oh my god i'll call it surprise you have it love love love honestly though you are invited back to talk about your career there's so many different ways we could have taken this interview it was like so good and michael gets mad but you should have a podcast you think so i think so pretty damn well i'll tell you why there's a

lot of duds right there's a lot of people that like shouldn't and she's pretty good i say you're a phenomenal guest i mean not only are you from a guest but you are a phenomenal guest. I mean, not only are you a phenomenal guest, but you are a phenomenal storyteller. Yes. And you are very good at this. Naturally. Thank you. I'll tell you all. I had one for a minute and then I just like stopped. It was like years ago.

So I was thinking about doing it, bringing it back and doing it right. But I do feel like it's a good progression. And I do like what you said about when you say it doesn't matter how you look, but it's a video. There's a video podcast, too. Yeah, but it's different. You're not like looking at yourself and editing and like putting Paris filter on it. It's like or tagging. It's like kind of just like you get what you get.

I don't look at the video. Yeah. You know, I don't know. It's different. I love that. I don't care. I don't care as much how I look on video with podcasting as I do

on Instagram. And what is your audience? Is it millennial women? Millennial women. Okay, same. Similar audience. I bet we have a lot of shares. A lot of moms. Yes. A lot of moms. So anywhere. TikTok is my current fave. I love it.

Oh, I gotta go look at you on TikTok. It's so much fun. I'm addicted. It's so much work. Is it work? Yeah, I gotta talk to you. Well, if you don't like it, don't do it. You know, I have fun with it. But TikTok, Instagram, whatever, dude, wherever. Just Google my name. Get her book, you guys. My book's anywhere. You can Amazon Prime it or download it. The Audible. I think the audio is a better experience personally, but it's fun. Some people like reading, reading. Like, do you prefer reading, reading?

I read it on a Kindle. Yeah. Well, I think like I prefer reading, reading because so many people phone in the audio version. But if you actually did it yourself with your voice, then I think that's, you know what I mean? Like when they get like that robot author and it's. Yeah, we can't do a robot. We can't do a robot.

A lot of people just phone in the audio because they don't want to do the German accent. No, this is a full fucking performance. Laura, you're amazing. Thank you so much for coming on. Do you want to win a copy of Laura's book signed, sealed and delivered to you?

All you have to do is tell us who you want to hear next on the skinny confidential him and her podcast on my latest Instagram at Lauren Bostic. Of course, make sure you've rated and reviewed the podcast on iTunes. It takes two seconds and go give Laura some love. She is absolutely amazing. I am very much into my morning routine. I take it very seriously. And now Michael does too, which is very inspiring. I have like all my little potions and vitamins and supplements and my water with my chlorophyll and my lemon. And it goes on and on and on. But one thing that has always been in my routine and it's been in my routine since Carly came on the show is beekeepers naturals, little shots, and they're called be

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