The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - LeeAnn Kreischer On Healing Childhood Trauma, Create Stable Relationships, & Rid Your Life Of Chaos

Episode Date: February 7, 2024

#657: Today, we're sitting down with LeeAnn Kreischer. LeeAnn Kreischer is an American actress, writer, podcaster, and the wife of stand-up comedian, reality television host, and actor Bert Kreischer. We have a conversation about her small-town upbringing, what it's like to grow up with a narcissistic mother, and the tough decisions she's had to make for the good of her family. We also dive into her and Bert's love story, how opposites can sometimes attract, and how to raise a humble family once you get to the top. She also gives tips on parenting teenagers, finding balance, and how to know when you're in a stage of growth. To connect with LeeAnn Kreischer click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts Bosstick click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE To subscribe to our YouTube Page click HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential This episode is brought to you by Caraway Ditch the chemicals with Caraway. Visit carawayhome.com/SKINNY to receive 10% off your next purchase. This episode is brought to you by Saie Saie is an award winning Clean and Planet Positive makeup brand sold exclusively at Sephora. Shop now at sephora.com This episode is brought to you by Nerdwallet NerdWallet lets you compare top travel credit cards side-by-side to maximize your spending, some even offering 10X points on your spending. Visit nerdwallet.com to learn more. This episode is brought to you by Cymbiotika Cymbiotika is a health supplement company, designing sophisticated organic formulations that are scientifically proven to increase vitality and longevity by filling nutritional gaps that result from our modern day diet. Receive up to 15% off your purchase at cymbiotika.com/SKINNY This episode is brought to you by MWH As Melissa says herself, “Don’t trust me, try me.” Visit melissawoodhealth.com and use code SKINNY at checkout to get your first month free off your monthly membership. Produced by Dear Media

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to The Skinny Confidential, him and her.

Let me tell you something about marriage. Your partner's not supposed to be your everything. If I need someone to give me what I need, I go to that person. Bert gives me tons of what I need in tons of different areas. But if we're in a disagreement and I can feel like this is going to have to happen later, I'll call my girlfriend Sandy and go, let me tell you what this asshole just did. And then she will give me everything I need. And then two days later, I can have the real conversation with Bert saying, hey, you know, in that moment, this is what I needed and he can hear me. So everybody kind of knows who they are

for me. And I knew who those people are for me. So I can reach out to the right people. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the Him and Her Show. Coming in hot off Monday's episode with Burt Kreischer, we have Leanne Kreischer on the show. And dare I say, did she one-up Burt? Burt, she might have. Let's see. For those of you that are not familiar with Leanne, Leanne Kreischer is an American actress, writer, podcaster, and the wife of stand-up comedian, reality television host, and actor Burt Kreischer. We have a conversation today about her small-town upbringing, what it's like to grow up with a narcissistic mother, and the tough decisions she had to make for the good of her family. There's a lot of depth here, Leanne. I had so much to share around relationships and what makes it work, how to get through trauma, how to deal with difficult family members.

We dove into so many topics that were kind of off script. We just ended up in a really organic and pleasant conversation, one that we knew was going to be great, but honestly was even greater than we could have expected. And I love podcasts. And so does Lauren, where we have a huge brief and then the conversation just becomes so organic that we kind of don't even need the brief. And that's what this conversation was. Leanne is an incredible person. She has a ton of insight to offer for anyone trying to live a better life and be happier, more positive, more productive, especially for the couples out there. So with that, Leanne Kreischer, welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her show. This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her.

We were saying off air that to your point, there's two types of people. People that want to be in a sort of stable, consistent situation, but people who are more attracted to like really big, colorful people. And it seems like both of you are attracted to colorful people. Yes. Yeah, I can see that. And I think at the same time, both of us are colorful in our own way, right? Like, I don't know. I think a regular guy would not know what to do with me.

What do you mean? Explain. Like, I'd be the crazy part of me is so pale in comparison to the crazy part of Bert. But the crazy part of me in a non-crazy situation doesn't help somebody. You know, does that make sense? Like if I go, let's buy another house, you know, somebody that's more regulated with money with me would be like, hold on, hold on. And Bert's like, what? Let's buy six houses, you know, where it kind of is the balance. That may not be the best example, but. No, it's a good example. Lauren and I talk about this all the time i always she says like who the hell would you date like i mean i'm a i'm a big

personality my own way compared to her maybe not so much but also i'm not just turnkey easy consistent like there's you know there's a lot there's some squirrely ideas going on up here totally like the matterhorn as a mountain looks different against the Appalachia than it does the Rockies but they're all mountains right they're all a little different I would describe so far as you both as you're specific there's a specific way to be with both of you it seems like you need a certain touch I know what I want if you I feel like you know what you want. All the time. Yeah. And I'm very direct. I'm very linear, very literal. I don't play games. I don't have hidden agendas. I don't read into anything. I don't take anything personally. Bert says I'm dead inside. But you don't have to guess where you stand. I don't have to guess where I stand. I don't like that.

I get it. That's how I always tell people i said listen if i tell you something that's actually specifically what i mean that's weird i'm just kidding with her she's like there's like maybe a hidden mean i'm like no if i say this is what i mean it is 100 actually what i mean there's no hidden agenda there's no need for interpretation it is directly that thing that i'm saying i think you could use a little more finesse i get that note often yeah subtlety finesse yeah just a little massaging how about your directness makes me feel unsafe or yeah or your deliveries off is one that i like i have like little points that i say i'm not entertaining this delivery is my favorite that's a great yeah the delivery is completely off. Try again.

Yes. Bert could take a note because he goes, I don't think you know how you sound. That doesn't sound good. And I'm like, I just said that doesn't look good on you. Why is that bad? Do you want me to? How do you want me to say that? I'm not sure.

You guys have a lot of similarities. Is it hard being married to a comedian? Because Lauren is funny. I being married to a comedian because i like lauren is funny but i think i'm a comedian well you are very charismatic and very funny it's very charismatic leanne's actually meaning that she means what she says she's not just saying that because we're here on air she actually means that but i agree with her but in the sense that i would hope so i feel with a comedian they're like one of their jobs is to constantly like pick out. Things in life that are obvious that people want to call out, but they won't say, but then they can deliver it in a way where it's like, should I be offended?

But I also can't because it's funny. Does that make sense? And I would imagine that that is challenging being on the other end of that consistently at times. Okay. I've been asked this question a lot. Almost nothing he says bothers me. If it's funny, it can't be mean, right? He can't say something mean about me publicly, right?

He can say it to me, but not publicly because it's a misrepresentation of who I am. I'm not a mean person. I'm not a mean person I'm not a bitch I'm not difficult I'm not and so my only requirement through our whole relationship is that if he's going to say it it be it be funny it has to be funny and a lot of people don't know this but I was I wrote comedies I wrote rom-com script screenplays before I met him. I was a writer for a long time before I met Bert. So I understand writing comedy from having been a writer. So I get it. Like in the very beginning, one of his first specials, he talked about sex with me a lot.

And people were like, how do you let him say that? And I'm like, do you not have sex? Do you not have mishaps in sex? Do you not have like stupid things like farting while you're... Does that not happen to you? Because it happened to me. And if we all laugh about it, then maybe we can not take it so serious. Leanne, you're going to die.

He's never farted in front of me. I've known him since he was 12. Really? Ever. No one can believe that. Like a guy. How do you control it? We're with each other 24-7.

Wow. Have you ever farted in front of him? I don't think so. Have I ever farted in front of him? I don't think so. Have I? A lot of times. Just a huge farter. No, I'm not a huge farter.

I don't think so. That's just for you. No, I'm just kidding. That's not true either. Well, you guys are way more elegant than me. Should I show myself out? No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. No, I just think it's so interesting because I've never heard a guy not fart. It's a weird thing about you. Yeah, I got a problem. I got a lot of problems. Listen, who knows? Don't we all? so go back to you i was um shamed endlessly in my childhood and it's probably manifesting in strange ways but so you used to be a writer so you understand so when you

would say sex jokes about you you you it doesn't it doesn't bother you no it really doesn't bother me well i yeah i can see that you also you're in on the joke and you know it's not mean-spirited and it's funny it's not presented as mean-spirited and it's funny. It's not presented as mean-spirited. It's so funny. He was working on a bit last night at the improv and he said something negative about me and it came out wrong. And I'd heard it before on stage many, many times where it came out right and it was really funny. And last night it sounded mean.

Like, can you give us an example? Gosh, I don't know. But what was cool about it is when he got in the car, he went, that came out mean. He knew. That didn't work. And I went, no, it didn't work. You're right. But the way you were doing it in Omaha was great.

So just go back to that. And he's like, okay, cool. So he knows it. He's self-aware. He's so self-aware. I want to know more about you. Okay. Pre-birth.

Okay. How'd you grow up? Where'd you grow up? Oh, Lord. how long is this yeah let's talk about your childhood you mentioned you were a writer before him let's talk about all that okay well i grew up in a small town in georgia it's called bowden it had about 1600 people wow i was there until i was seven my parents divorced when i was seven and my mom moved to atlanta she was a model in Atlanta.

My dad was a mechanic in rural Georgia. It is my belief that my mom has quite a bit of mental health problems. And so it was a dicey, dicey way to grow up. She also moved me into the gay community because she thought the best place for a single mom with a single daughter was with a bunch of gay men. So I didn't grow up with a lot of kids, but I grew up with a lot of fabulousness. That was interesting. It was lonely, though, because there's no kids. It was like, there's no going out in the street and playing with anybody. There was no one to play with. So I lived with her until I was 13. And then I moved back with my dad and graduated from high school in my really teeny tiny small town and then went to college

and then moved to Atlanta for college and hated it and then moved to New York and then started writing. That's kind of the abbreviated version. When you say your mother suffered mental illness, what are we talking about? I believe that she has a personality disorder. I say I believe because she's never been diagnosed and I don't think it's fair for me to just say that. But I've been in therapy for a long time, and my belief in my therapy is that she has some real serious personality disorder and maybe some sociopathic stuff. And how would that manifest as your child?

Would she literally split into another person? No, that's like split personality kind of thing. I believe she has narcissism as a disorder, and narcissism as a disorder basically requires that you be exactly what she wants you to be or you're actually kind of life threatening. So you're rejected. So many times in my life, I've been fully disowned, like completely goodbye for years at a time because of an argument. She was very focused on my health. So she grew up Southern Baptist, but when she moved and became a model, she became Maharishi, Mahishi Yogi and got very into that brain. So when I was really small, I had to take like 21 vitamins a day. I had to drink niacin. I had to take spirulina. I could only eat completely whole foods, no sugar, no processed foods at all. I was terribly underweight. She also monitored my bowel movements pretty aggressively.

Holy shit. I was a super big tomboy, and she was not into that. Being a model, she was really all about what I looked like, and I was all about rebelling against all of that. I also watched her lie quite a bit. She's had six marriages. I watched a lot of deceit and knew from a really young age that something was wrong with her, that her ethics were really off, that her morals were really off. Because my dad is a very good person. I just didn't live with my dad.

So I had this set of people who were just really good, salt of the earth, you know, kind of what you see is what you get, straight shooting people.

And then I would go home to my mom where everything was sideways. Right? Nothing was true. She would, I would say, that's a great denim shirt.

And she'd go, that's not denim, it's flannel. And you go, hold on, I'm pretty sure that's a denim shirt. So my whole... So she would do things right before your eyes that you knew correct it almost sounds

like i know this word is like so overused but it's like gaslighting a little bit well yeah i think it's gaslighting but from a different intent maybe for her it was like almost like she was protecting herself by keeping herself on top so So for her, I know that she came from a lot of trauma and I know that the type of trauma she came from is usually the cause of this type of personality disorder. So it tracks and all the studying I've done of, hey, why was it like this? It all adds up for me, even though she's never been diagnosed or had any help what I've looked into all the dots kind of connect so we had an expert that came on this podcast about narcissism and I asked them if there's any cure for it and he said the only thing you can do literally is put them on stage

he's like interesting that's it so and, obviously. But like if you're at a Thanksgiving dinner with someone who's a narcissist, like you don't want to be quiet. You don't want to fight with them. You don't, all the different ways that you could handle someone that's problematic, you should just put them on stage. He's like, it's literally just the easiest way to deal with it. Interesting. And whenever I deal with someone who has tendencies, that to me, I thought that was really good advice. Yeah, it's great advice. It's really a hard one because there isn't a lot of ways to deal with it.

You just said there's absolutely nothing you can do in an argument and nothing you can do to change. They can't see it themselves. It's impossible. So no matter what, they're always either going to victimize themselves or blame you. It's just impossible for them to even see any other reality. That's my experience. Yes, that would be accurate. When you went to live with your dad, was she angry at you or was she fine with it? She didn't see or talk to me for a year and a half. She also burned all my baby pictures and threw away anything that I left in her house. Wow. You know what's really hard? What?

Is all of what you're saying is horrible, but when you become a mother and you hear that, or you look back and you reflect on your childhood when you're a mother, it's a whole different, it hits different. It hits totally different when you hear that as a mother, because you're like, oh my God, can you imagine throwing away your daughter's baby pictures like that's horrible it's horrible it makes me want to cry for you that's that's just it's psychopathic what did you say sociopathic yeah I mean it is it is so when so when you were in it and you were little did you know that she was there was something wrong with her or just reflecting back and doing therapy? No, I knew it.

I knew it. I felt very unsafe in my house. I stopped talking as much as I could when I was in my house with her. I stopped interacting with her. I actually stopped letting her give me an affection. I mean, there were positive parts to her, too. She was really fun. She was very gregarious. She was beautiful, like 5'8", blonde, green eyes, just gorgeous. She didn't have any

friends, but she was very friendly in public, right? So I didn't trust her because she changed so much from public to private. And I never knew when I was doing something wrong, right? The rules would change constantly. So it's not like I said, oh, I definitely can't, put my glass down without a coaster. That was true, actually. But there were certain rules that I just would shift and I wouldn't know it. So I remember just feeling very unsafe to show her any part of who I was. So I just, I just shrank. I just continued to shrink and shrink and shrink and shrink. And then all of that shrinking kind of catapulted out in high school with drinking and bad behavior and getting arrested and all that kind of stuff where I was kind of working out all these repressed emotions I'd had.

And my dad was just, you know, he's just a good old boy. He was like, oh, I didn't know. It sounds like she's like a borderline with like covert narcissism. Like it sounds like it's like a mixture of something. It was a mixture. Do you think the reason that you're so literal, like you mentioned now is because your mom was so wishy-washy and vague? Yes, 100%. That makes a lot of sense that

you're like tell it how it is because you grew up where like you didn't know one day from the next that's right yeah yeah i i can't i don't like that and i don't read into anything either because my whole childhood was about what does she mean that or doesn't she? And the exhaustion that causes for you to just overthink a simple statement like, you know, eat your apple or whatever she would say. I would just overthink all of it, trying to just stay out of her crosshairs. Yeah, it was really hard, that part of it. And then the unraveling of it later is really hard also. I'm in a great place now. You know, to your point, when I got pregnant with Georgia, she and I were in a little bit of an argument. She hadn't disconnected yet.

Your mother and you. My mother and I. Yes. We had another big argument when I was 23, and she disconnected from me again for years. I was dead again at 23. And then at 33, when I got pregnant with Georgia, we were having a little back and forth, a little bit of mm-mm.

And when I told her I was pregnant, that was the last draw for her. And she was like, I don't ever want to see you again. Talk to you again. I don't want to know your kids. I don't know your husband.

Why was she upset that you were pregnant? She was upset that I had... Why were the attentions off her? I think that's ultimately it. But I had been trying for a long time to get her to pick up the phone so I could tell her. I think that's ultimately it. But I had been trying for a long time to get her to pick up the phone so I could tell her and she wouldn't answer the phone. And I kept leaving messages

going, I have something I need to tell you. I need to tell you something. Call me. And she just wouldn't. So she left me no choice. So I sent her an email saying, after trying to call you for like six weeks now, you're going to get a wedding invitation. I'm pregnant. How about you, you know, show up or something? And that was, she emailed me back and it was just the worst email. It was so bad. I printed it out and kept it so that I would never forget how she treated me. Because, you know, you make, you normalize, right? You go, oh, maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought. Or maybe I misunderstood. Or maybe she didn't really mean that. But in writing, I printed it. And Bert's sister was with me when it came in.

I printed it and gave it to her. And I was like, just read this. Like, this is my mom. And Bert's sister started crying. And she went, I can't believe this is my mom and burt's sister started crying and she went i can't believe this is your mom that's horrible so after that i was like you know what i think i'm done you've been done every year i'm done but what did she say then nothing and is she still alive right now yep and you and you don't talk to her nope there's this book by jean Jeanette McCurdy and it's called I'm Glad My Mom Died. That book went crazy, right? You have to read it if you haven't read it. Okay, I haven't.

It's the way you're describing your mom is like eerily similar. Interesting. Yeah. And her mom did end up passing away, but she, or yeah, I'm glad my mom died is what it's called. So obviously her mom passed away, but it's really. It's a crazy title for a book isn't it it's such a good book if anyone is going through similar situations that you're talking about it's such a good book i'll definitely read it yeah for sure so you so you printed it out and you saved it and whenever you feel

oh i don't look at it you don't look at it no I don't need to look at it yeah you just know I know but I have it yes and you know for years after that Bert kept going isn't there something you can do and isn't there some way you can you know bridge this gap or there's got to be something you can do and I was like no I've been doing this my whole life and no so I was still in a relationship with her parents. I still, I brought my kids to see her parents because, you know, who has great grandparents these days? And mine had several. So I was like, well, I want you to know my mom's family just because she's wackadoo doesn't mean you don't need to know everybody else. And I guess Georgia was probably about eight and Isla was six and my mom just walked in the door and she was like, hey, it nani and i fully shut down like completely became like seven

years old non-verbal not talking unresponsive disconnected totally disassociated myself from the entire environment and burt watched this happen watched my mom act as if she saw my daughters last week she'd never seen them before ever had never met burt was he was like what the fuck is going on everybody was like what the fuck and I just totally went blank and when it was over she said well maybe now I'll come out to California and see y'all and Bert went oh I'll never see you again I've never seen you before I'm never gonna see you again about a week later she sent a letter to me misspelled my name and I recognized her handwriting and I got it on the mailbox I gave it to Bert and I said I don't want to know what's in this letter but will you read it because if

it's nice I'll read it but if it's not nice I don't want to hear about it so he goes in the backyard reads the letter and he comes back in and goes she's not ever allowed in our family again and I went now you get it this is what I've been dealing with my whole life did you ever read the letter nope you never read it don't need to know that bullshit. Nope. Sent it to my dad also. And I was like, I just want you to know what I'm dealing with over here.

And my dad was like, yeah, I think good choice. Just don't ever let her back in your life. Good choice. So. But even the fact that she spells your name wrong is such a, it's like,

it's such a, it feels premeditated almost. Yeah, it's like a nephew. Did you ever figure out what happened to her when she was a kid? Yeah, I know what happened to her. I don't know that I should say. No, no, no, no. It's not her business.

You don't have to say it, but I'm saying you figured out what trauma. Yeah, she told me. Okay. Yeah. So when all of this is going on, you're already married to Bert. The third time she just told me, yeah. And so when you guys get married, is he already famous? No. So you guys, this has been together. You guys have built this.

Talk to us about that. How did you guys meet? I think that's the best. Oh. No, it is the best. It is the best. It is the best. How did you guys meet? Going through it together. When you met him, did you both know that you guys both wanted to be famous? I didn't want to be famous. You don't want anything to do with it? Well, no, not that I didn't want anything to do with it. That definitely was not my goal. Did you know that he was going to be famous when you met him? I don't know. That's an interesting question. I don't think fame was ever the focus. It was, for me, it was the art, right? It was the art. It was the craft of writing a really good hour. I love being a part of that. I do not write for Bert. I do not write a single word, but I am really good at telling him what works and what doesn't work.

I am good at saying, hey, you've used a word that 15 times in the last three minutes. Let's use that one time and pick a different word. And when you're on stage, you're so in a flow that it's hard to hear yourself, you know? So I've always been the person that's in the audience going, that worked. But like, just like what I just said, you've said that word three times. Just pick a different word. Oh, okay.

Not aware I'm doing that. So we've always collaborated like that. But we met bowling. We had a mutual friend who brought him bowling. And we were singles versus couples. And at the end of bowling, I said to our mutual friend, hey, give him my phone number. I was actually dating someone else for like a month. And I was like, give him my phone number. We'll have a couple dates and we'll be friends forever.

I'm not marrying a comedian. But I'd love to know him better. So he did. And Bert never called me. So I called our mutual friend and went, what's going on? Like, I'm a cute girl. We had a blast. Why didn't he call me?

And he just goes, ask him yourself, and handed Bert the phone. And I went, dude, what's going on? Why didn't you call me? And he just stuttered and stammered and stuttered. And I went, hey, I'm going to give you a hint. If you ask me out, I'll say yes. And he goes, do you want to go out? And I went, yes.

So he hangs up the phone and turns to our mutual friend and goes, she just wants me for my body. So he showed up to pick me up. How was his body at this moment? His body was rocking. His body was rocking. He was 185 pounds. Yeah. Like he's 230 right now.

So he looked great. But that definitely wasn't what I was after. So he shows up for the date, pulls up in front of my apartment building and blows the horn. And I come out of my apartment and I'm dressed for a date, like heels, dress, and he has a panic attack, realizing this is a real date, that I'm not just like some booty call. Can't tolerate his shoes. Can't really tolerate his shirt much. Doesn't eat dinner, but doesn't want the dinner to end.

So when dinner ends, we go somewhere else for dessert. Doesn't want that to end. We go somewhere else for a nightcap. Doesn't want that to end. Goes to Ralph's to pick up a six pack of beer. Brings me home and I'm like, dude, it's like 2.30.

Like, bye-bye. Nice date. 9.30 the next morning. What are you doing tonight? Next day. What are you doing tonight? Next day. What are you doing tonight?

And I don't think I've spent many days without him in my life, at least. Obviously, he travels a lot since then, since our first date. I love stories like that. Yeah. I say to Michael that we're codependent but independent at the same time that's an interesting codependent with it we're independent within the codependency we don't like to spend time apart i get that you know some people get like i don't want to go in the boys or the girl i get it like we like to if we're going like i'm going i get i

get what you just you like being together well yes and no mean, I'm cool with him traveling. Like he's codependent. I am super independent. But I like that he I listen, I have abandonment issues for obvious reasons. He ain't going anywhere. So I have never doubted that for one second. So I think that's the piece for me that was really important is that I finally have somebody who's really never leaving because I couldn't get rid of him if I tried. I mean, like from day one. Let me tell you what the move is for Valentine's Day. I'm going to give you a hack. So you're going to give this for Valentine's Day, but you're also going to get something out of it. This is what I would do. I would get your significant other non-toxic kitchenware. This is such a good move because you can also use it for yourself. Caraway has the best non-toxic options. I bought all my cookware there. I got the cookware set that's on their site. It has 40,000 five-star reviews. I got the classic cream. I cook my kids

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It's refreshing. I'm into it. It's not like chunky or shimmery. I think you're going to love it so much. They also have a slip tint SPF 35 tinted moisturizer and even a dew blush. They have a lot of good products. You can shop Say Now at Sephora. Quick break to talk about one of my favorite online platforms, and that is Nerd Wallet. It is so overwhelming trying to seek out the right financial advice, figuring out what to do, what to use as a consumer. When it comes to credit cards, there are so many options out there. I want the absolute best option that's going to give me the best benefits and put more back in my pocket, which is why I love Nerd Wallet so so much. NerdWallet lets you compare top travel credit cards side by side to maximize your

spending, some even offering 10x points on your spending. So what could a future you look like with better rewards? Could that look like a free flight, room upgrades, more cash back, better financial decisions? You can figure all of this out and compare and find smarter credit cards, savings accounts, and more today at nerdwallet.com. NerdWallet, finance smarter. Reminder, credit is subject to lender approval and terms apply. I wanted to ask you something from a different perspective. So we have all sorts of people on the show and I always say and believe that the most challenging art form is stand-up comedy because we can do this we can edit it we can mess around

it's different or a writer can sit in a room and then you know you know but stand up you're there you're in front of people you're alive you're being critiqued instantly it's so hard and we've asked comedians how they deal with it but but from your perspective, seeing the peaks and valleys, the ups and downs, what do those downs look like when someone's like really going through it and struggling? Because you've seen him go through everything. And I imagine it hasn't always been great times at Ridgemont High here. No, it hasn't. Relative to stand up, when he's in a low, my perspective is that's where growth happens. Growth doesn't happen when you're on top. It happens when you're on the bottom because you have incentive and motivation and you have a desire to self-reflect and go, hey, what's happening here? And why am I stuck? Or why am I flopping? Like, what's happening here and why am I stuck or why am I flopping? Like what's not working? And Bert has an amazing ability to stay in that for a minute,

but he doesn't stay in it too long. So I think you can get stuck in it, not just as a standup, but as a human. You can really get stuck at the bottom. And you have to really want to get out of the bottom. And he doesn't want to stay in the bottom and you have to you have to really want to get out of the bottom and he doesn't want to stay in the bottom but i think he understands the value of it because that's where his growth really happens because i imagine that occupation specifically has a tendency to wash out a lot of very talented people that just can't hang in it. Yes. I think there's a lot of factors that wash out really talented people in stand-up. One is until you make it, you're broke. And if you can't, if you don't have a side hustle,

if you don't have a partner who's supporting you in some capacity financially, I think it's really difficult in the beginning, you know, to be willing to live with multiple roommates. And, you know, those kind of things as you age and as you kind of get older, you don't want to do that. But that's kind of what has to happen for a lot of people. It goes from the haves and have-nots are so very vastly different in stand-up. That I think just that part of the lifestyle, not even the confidence in what you're doing on stage, not even the art form, it's just the life you have to lead to be able to get in, be in it long enough to be in front of enough eyes long enough and to get on

the right person's tour that you're opening for. That road, just the semantics of it is so difficult. When you met him, you were writing, correct? Yes, I was writing. I wrote one screenplay that was made. I had four that were optioned, and I was in a deal to develop a novel into a screenplay. Wow. And then I got pregnant. I got pregnant on the pill, which is super fancy. Then I got really morning sick, and I was morning sick for a long time. So by the time all that was over and I was massively pregnant and Georgia was born, Burt went on the road when she was three days old. So from that point on, I was like, my life I choose and would not change at all paused. Like my goals paused. At that point, I was a little farther ahead than Bert was in the scope of Hollywood. But I could hold a regular job and I just don't think Bert Kreischer

could do that. I don't think he could hold a regular job. So I managed apartment buildings. I managed 139 unit apartment building while I was at home with my kids. And he left. So the good thing about that time period was we were really broke together. We couldn't really afford a nanny, although I was working nine to five. So we only had a nanny on Thursday, Friday, which is the two days he was out of town. And Bert was the nanny, the dad, not a nanny, but he was fully on duty from nine to five, you know, or a little more than that. So, you know, he'd put the girls in the stroller and walk a block down the street to Trader Joe's and get stuff for dinner and cook dinner and have the kids ready to eat by the time

I got home from work. And I paid the rent, and I had benefits, and I had a little paycheck and he brought his 500 bucks a week home from standup and we made it work. I mean, one of our favorite stories that we sit today and what we've built together today is one time in that apartment, he came, I got home and he was like, hey, I need 50 bucks. I'm going to go play poker at this big tournament with all these like famous people. I was like, I don't have it. And he said, let's go to the bank and get it. And I went, dude, I don't have it. Like we don't have $50. I have $27 in the bank. So I can give you $27, but then we've got nothing till my paycheck.

So, and he was like, oh, well, I guess I'm not going to play poker. And he had a little unraveling going, this is a networking opportunity. I'm going to meet all these famous people i really need 50 and i was like dude if i could pull it out of my hair i would i don't have it and then we sit here today and go remember that day when we didn't have 50 dollars he obviously didn't end up going no he didn't go he couldn't go no he couldn't like wow that's a crazy story so you guys were broke broke we were broke broke yeah don't you look back on that now and think the relationship is so much stronger because of that i always like lauren and i've been together a long time and you know i think sometimes people can look at an end product or some of the places

we've ended up but like we've been doing stuff together for you know 20 years and it hasn't always looked like this we weren't sitting in a fancy office but when we like the when i think back on our time together like those are the moments i appreciate the most i think that's like that's the bedrock of making a strong relationship you can't you know if you just jump into the end with someone, I think that I envy people that have kind of gotten to the end and then start dating because I think it's harder to kind of build the bond that each other when they're already successful and they're happy. But to me, it looks like it looks like it's not a layer cake. You know, it's kind of like a cheesecake, which is delicious and amazing. But, you know, you get in all those layers and all that kind of, you know, it's good. It's too strong. It's too thick. It's too. It just makes it so much more dynamic. I don't know that one is necessarily better than the other, just like two people who are the same being married, if that works for them, great. But that's definitely not my perspective. I think that we appreciate, listen, we have two words in our family that we live by. It's our creed, and that's grace and gratitude. Wake up every day with gratitude, and you should have every moment of your day should named Isla Isla Grace because grace is a

beautiful meaning I don't even I think it's a little more than a word so we try to we have for a very long time said gratitude and grace gratitude and grace even when you're broke even what a what an opportunity to have to be able to see a talent I saw a talent in Bert that Bert saw in himself that we both believed in and we both nurtured and crafted and strategized and built together. And then on the side, we have these two wonderful children

that we did the same thing with, right? So it's been a really amazing experience. And I don't have a roadmap for that. My dad's been divorced a couple times. My mom's been divorced six times. I don't have any kind of roadmap. I just kind of had to go. I don't want what I've experienced.

So let's figure out something new. That's a good way to look at it, though. A lot of people, I think it's more common to go to what's familiar you know yeah i look at from afar the way that you guys parent your children and it's really cool it seems like you guys are friends with your kids also it seems like you're a parent at the same time both and it seems like you guys are almost like a tribe this is from totally outside perspective you could tell me if i'm wrong but it's it seems like you guys are almost like a tribe this is from totally outside perspective you could tell me if i'm wrong but it's it seems like it's a cool way to parent can you sort of describe your your ethos on parenting yes i thank you that's a an enormous compliment

i think we are like a tribe my approach to parenting bird parenting, Bert was a pretty free-range guy. Boundaries are not his favorite thing. Being linear and being kind of raised the way I was raised, boundaries are all I had. My mom was like, the bumpers were so tight, I couldn't move. So I knew I didn't want that, but I understood that boundaries were important. That boundaries, when they're healthy, make you feel really safe, right? So if someone says you're a pro wrestler and you have to be inside these ropes, you can go bananas, right? I'm pro wrestling, it's probably not the right one. Boxing, let's say boxing.

You go bananas in those ropes. You step outside the ropes, there are different rules, right? So I kind of approached parenting that way. Bert and I do this thing that's really interesting. We kind of decide who's the leader, right? So we've remodeled several houses and I'm the leader. So I go, okay, here's a picture book of things I'm thinking. I need you to sign off on this and leave me alone.

So because he's never home. You're the leader. I can't wait for him four days later to come home and have a discussion about the fact that Isla didn't turn in her homework. So we would figure out our value system, agree on it, and then agree that

in the generalities of it, I would implement those. And then when something big or something out of the ordinary comes up, we're a team. And he's always got my back. So I always made sure the two of us were a team. It was not Bert and I against mom. You know, it was Bert and mom, not against each other, but you're not separating us. That was really important. And I think Bert and I's value systems line up so much that some of those boundaries were really easy. Now, the difference between the two of us is he didn't really understand bedtime or like put your dishes in the sink when you're done eating or you got to eat a healthy meal before you can have the ice cream sandwich. He didn't really want to mess around with that kind of crap. But I think those

types of boundaries dictate your whole life. Like if you don't have healthy habits in place as you grow up, it's so much more difficult to create them as an adult. So why wouldn't you do it when it's easy? You know, a broken bone on an eight-month-old heals in two weeks. At 53, it takes me a lot longer. So I kind of approached it that way. And I always thought to myself, Bert and I both have such a curiosity about life in general that when we had kids, we asked the question regularly, who are you? Not you are this, right? Who are you?

Who are you? Who are you? And show me who you are and where your interests are and where your emotions are and where your mental health is. And we'll figure out because we're the adults here, where you need some help, right? Because no one's perfect. Everyone has something they have to work on.

And we try to present that as humans ourselves. We're not perfect parents. And anytime we made a mistake parenting, we made sure to own up to it. I may have overreacted here. And I have to apologize for my overreacting. However, the base is still accurate. To let them know that I can make a mistake and still be right about the situation as a family how have you guys now dealt with the success and the attention because

it's i think that i we talked to so many people on the show about that dynamic when it's and it's such a strange thing to go from little attention to a whole lot of attention. And you see people kind of go both ways with it. Some people really do well with it and some people completely derails them. And how have you guys, not just Bird, but you and the family dealt with that newfound attention? That's a tough one. It really has been tough. I'm sure. I think we had the benefit of having many years of being anonymous right many many many many years so the kids you know my my therapist says you you make deposits in an account and sometimes you have to withdraw but if your deposits outweigh your withdrawals you're okay

at the end of the day so we felt like we made so many deposits in their early life of just being regular parents. And he, you know, he may as well have been a banker as far as they were concerned. They had no idea. They never even saw him do stand-up till last summer. So we haven't, they're not in that world. And how old are they? 17 to 19.

They just saw him do stand-up? They've never even seen a special. They've never seen anything. They would go to the special taping. And then as soon as the comedy started, they'd leave. They didn't't want to see it they didn't want to know him as a comic they just wanted him to be dad wow and you know at a certain age we wouldn't let them see his comedy is clearly not age appropriate but at a certain age we gave them the option and they chose not to so we honored that you know it was a little hard for mr burt because he was like what the

don't they know who i am don't they know how important i am in comedy i'm like to my kids your first word is skinny confidential no i'm just kidding they don't know they're rolling their faces out of there no so um they don't like the fame They don't like it when people approach us. They don't like being interrupted. Who does? Who wants someone to just come up to your dinner table and go, hey, man, can I get a picture as you're putting a bite of food in your mouth? Well, Joe Rogan says that on his podcast, he goes, don't come up to me when I'm with my kids. Right.

He just says it. Don't come up to me when I'm with my kids. I almost think there should be a rule about that. I agree with you. I think it would be great if people would not come up when we're with our kids. Because the kids don't get it. They don't get it. I mean, my kids are old enough to get it now, but they don't like it.

Because they didn't sign up for this. The flaw that we had as parents, and this is 100% our fault, and we've owned this up to our kids, is Burt put them on Instagram before we really knew what Instagram was as a society. Like, Instagram wasn't what it is today when he started posting on Instagram, and Burt wasn't famous then. So, for him, he was just putting his kids on Instagram like any dad would. Like, are you talking like he has 100 followers, just posted them online? Like, what do you mean? Like early, early, early days.

Okay, okay. When he didn't have many followers. Got it. As the followers grew, he just kept posting, not thinking about, neither of us really thought that we really never thought we would be here. How can you even strategize that without having any, like you can't strategize it. It's not,

there's no blueprint. I feel bad for you guys. Cause it's like, as you put them on Instagram, you don't think. No, but that's a mind fuck to think about even for us because the kids are so young.

But then you start to think about what happens when they're 13, 14, 15. They actually care what they look like and how they're perceived and all that. So what happened? Did they come to you later on when the Instagram blows up? Yeah.

What did they say? I don't want to be on your Instagram anymore. And all their Instagrams are private and they don't want anybody to see anything about that. They're cool with me and him. Totally fine. You can have my dogs, but they don't want to be on it. Well, think about it. So they're not showing up on Instagram.

Would you want your parents running around and posting when you're 13? Very little I can't put myself in her daughter's shoes Because I want to tap dance on the table I don't think I'm the right person to ask You wanted to tap dance on the table? I wanted to interview I came out of the womb

There's a saying that describes Lauren perfectly She's the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral Don't ask me But she's not a narcissist so that doesn't no i don't i'm not she's one of those people but i just like like i like to you're a shiny star i just like to perform i saw it listen this is the truth i saw her in the sixth grade sixth grade play when i was 12 and she came out in this blue shiny sequins dress we're singing girls just want to have fun, fully develop. And I was like, I am. That was it.

That's my thing. That was it. I'm sold. Yeah. I saw a picture of that the other day. It wasn't that. I think you've played it up to me. Oh, for sure.

I was 12 years old. I would. And I was looking at a fully developed woman. It can be whatever he needs it to be. You, you masturbate to me in that dress all you want. Yeah. You go. You do what you got.

I put that song on. But I cannot compare myself to your girls because I don't think I'm the right person to ask. But I can understand how they just maybe just don't want to be in the spotlight like that. They don't. And it's a lot of people now. And I think it's cool you guys respect that. Of course we do. It's a lot of people.

Also, girls, too. I can understand this. Girls don't want at that age a bad angle, a picture. It's a hard age. Oh, they don't really care about that. They don't care. They don't want anybody to know who they are. Huh.

They want autonomy. They want complete autonomy. They don't want the spotlight. They have no interest in being in entertainment. They want to be regular people. And I think it's because they grew up as regular people. I think that the pendulum is going to swing in the next 10 years where autonomy is going to be the hottest commodity. Right.

There's so many people that have been, I don't want to say whoring themselves out, but like putting themselves out there to go viral or have internet fame. And I think what's going to happen is the real thing is going to be to be autonomous. I think it's so fucking funny. Anonymous or autonomous? Both. Both. I think it's so fucking funny how Joe Rogan, obviously,

I mean, you guys are very good friends with him. He's so, so famous. And I went and clicked his wife's profile. She's like 100 followers. And in her bio, it says, autonomy is underrated or something. Anonymity is underrated. It's so funny.

That is so funny. Yeah. But I think like that is going to be the hottest commodity to be able to just be without all this. But for what you guys. I empathize with your daughters. I understand that. No, but for what you guys do specifically, I don't think there's any way around it.

Like there's, I look about like the genie out of the bottle. Yeah. The cat's out of the bag for sure. There's no going like, hey guys, nevermind. Yeah. It's too late. And we talked to him about that. The way that we manage it with them is this is how I've managed it.

So until about a year ago, I ran everything we did. So like everything. We had one personal assistant and no other employees. It was just me. So any email that came in from him from fans, I read. And there are so many people who say, thank you for talking about your kids. I have an Isla. I have a Georgia. I have both. This is how I look at my kids differently. I didn't realize my daughter had a learning disability until you talked about Isla's learning disability. And

I keep framing it that they've helped so many people. You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. So if we're going to deal with the toothpaste, let's find it to be positive. So this is what's paying for college. This is what's helped. It's bought your first car. And look at all these people that you're helping and you didn't even mean to do it. And I can apologize and I can say I'm so sorry you're in this position all day long it's not going to change the position at this point the only thing we can change is our perspective being a parent's so fucking hard though because you look through what you went through as a child and then then you have kids and you're like trying to do your best you always try to do your best you

try to do your best and you still always end up feeling guilty. It's unbelievable. My kids are so young and I feel guilty about the stupidest shit. Oh, my kids are in therapy because of my parenting. And I go, I'm the best parent you know, lady. I'm the best one. But I knew they're still going to go to therapy. I feel like you just have to just know as a parent,

there's no black and white. There's no handbook. And it's just, they're going to be mad at something. And it's all perspective. black and white there's no handbook and it's just they're going to be mad at something and it's all perspective i know there's no way i mean the snowflakes we've raised compared to my my childhood that i go in my brain constantly you don't know what a hard time is right that's the hard part about doing it is you almost like, do you bite your tongue or do you say that? Yes. You bite your tongue. Yes. Because you're projecting your experiences onto your children. And there's no way they can understand it anyway. They can't understand it. Children are

so self-centered until they're about 20 years old. Great. Can't wait. They don't have a perspective other than their own. They don't want one. They may get a little bit of it, but they don't want it until they want it. And you can keep giving it. Listen, they know my story. It's not like I'm this person who hasn't shared my experiences growing up with them. But I don't share their experiences comparative to theirs. Right. I think that's smart. Those are two different things. You should know who your mother and your father are and how they grew up because that'll give you a window into why they function the way they do. So true.

That is good advice. But I don't have to say, well, I walked through eight miles of snow to get to school and you just have to get on a bus. You know, that's where you start going. That devalues their experience. So you don't want to devalue their experience. But it is good, I think, to give them give them a perspective you know that at a different time a lot of things i've learned about parenting and about being married is that sometimes things don't need to be said when it's happening you could learn that lesson a little more you could tattoo that on your asshole and then put it in the side you can just not help yourself well that's you know

what i think to be i'm to put you down for a second i feel like that's wisdom you're gonna have to learn that she's just told you that you're gonna have to just learn that after repetitively making the same mistake over and over with saying exactly how you feel here's the thing i know when i do it that it's wrong but i can't help yourself can't help myself what did you say this morning to me i don't remember i said would you shut up and you said you said you know oh don't kick the beehive oh my god no no no no no i know you know this other way this is actually the other way around i was storming around okay let me when he when he's frustrated this is what it sounds like. That's a fucking exaggeration. No, it's not.

The toothpaste cap opens a little loud. It's so like grow up. Okay, first of all, we're in a hotel room for the last two weeks. Third hotel room. It could be worse. You could walk through snow eight miles. Get over it. With two kids under four. Not everything needs to be said in the minute.

Let me tell my story now And I realized I had to get over here by 9am For a meeting that was in the other room And the breakfast wasn't coming And I was like I have to get This is so stupid Listen how stupid you sound Telling the story

You sound so stupid But what she does though Is she knows that I'm in a flustered moment And that's the moment she decides to sting Yeah that's called being married to a woman And then my response is not great and then it's my response or this one was like just don't hit the but can you go off on what you just said if not everything needs to be said in that moment all right so we got to move on to the next no no no no Leanne keep

going keep going what not everything needs to be said in that moment is the biggest lesson I had to learn because similar to you I I well I was shut up my whole life, right? I couldn't be honest with my mom. I chose not to talk to her a lot of the time. So I had to kind of learn to speak my mind. And in any pendulum swing, right? You swing too far first and then you have to find the middle.

So in my swinging too far, I would start saying exactly what was on my mind when it was on my mind. And I don't care how it really don't care how it affects you. I need to have a voice here. And at a certain point I went, well, what's the goal really? Is the goal to have a voice or is the goal to be understood? Is the goal to be cared for in a better way? Well, if that's the goal, then shut up right now. And when the time is right, when we're not so emotional, when we're not so emotional when we're not so invested i can have the same exact conversation and it'll be received because i live with a one

upper if i have a cut on my finger bert's definitely cut off his finger oh fuck if he cut off if i cut off my finger he's lost his arm i mean there's like is there's no i can never be the one that's the most fill in the blank when we're in an emotional when he when he comes in after this i'm going to say that was the best podcast i've ever listened to ever then you'll get out of him the best podcast you've ever had because he will try to annihilate this one but But yeah, so then I thought to myself, I'm never going to win in this scenario. Not that I'm trying to win, but I'm never going to get what I need in this scenario.

I'm going to replay this and do my best to take your advice because I think it's really good advice, especially for me. I mean it though. Do you see how I waited for the moment to bring it up, the right moment, and now I get my result. That's exactly right. And as you're talking, there's a lot of things we have different backgrounds but there's a lot of things you're saying that resonate deeply with me it's like it's very i'm very similar maybe not the same exact like mapping of thoughts but like they're they're the goal that

i'm trying to get to is the same it's a good intention it's not it's not i'm not a malicious person in our conversation you are, but you are annoying. That's just because you're married. You are annoying. That's just because you're married. You think you're some peach, right? You think you're the easiest one? I think I'm easier than you.

Oh my, Taylor. Taylor, I've been our producer for 12 years. He knows the secret. When you live with your one-upper, is he still one-upping you to this day? Or do you not try to one-up him? Do you not even go there anymore? Oh, I don't go there. You just let him one-up? I to this day or does he or do you not try to one-up it like do you not even go there anymore oh i don't go there you just let let him one up i don't go there have bleed out with his arm cut off well let me tell you something about marriage your partner's not supposed to be your everything i agree with you no that's not that's not if i need someone to give me what i need i go

to that person right burke gives me tons of what I need in tons of different areas. But if we're in a disagreement and I can feel like this is going to have to happen later, I'll call my girlfriend, Sandy, and go, let me tell you what this asshole just did. And then she will give me everything I need. And then two days later, I can have the real conversation with Bert saying, hey, you know, in that moment, this is what I needed and he can hear me. And then I can move forward. So it's not that I just eat my feelings or deny my feelings or I go to the person who can help me with what I need at the moment. I have lots of friends who have lots of different purposes in my life. I have a therapist. I have a dad. I have great in-laws. I have lots of resources to go to the right person. And I'm such an open book, and I'm such an open book with my intention with

people that at this point, they all know why I'm coming with a problem. But in the beginning, I would say, hey, you're my person when I need a contrary point of view. You're my person when I need someone to see things exactly as I see them and ride or die for me. You're the person who needs to tell me what's going on inside me and get really analytical about why I'm doing this. So everybody kind of knows who they are for me, and I knew who those people are for me. so I can reach out to the right people. It sounds like you're really good at communication. I think I had to learn that, but I think I am pretty good at communication. Yeah, it seems like you're really good at it.

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matcha. It's great there as well. That's one that I'm taking all of the time. And then their glutathione. I think Symbiotica has the best glutathione on the market. It is incredible. It's different than most glutathiones that it's a liposomal delivery. So it's extremely effective. You actually eat the product. Those two products I'd like to highlight, but they also have so many products on their line. They're coming out with nothing but quality all the time. Symbiotica supplements are an easy and effective way to get your daily dose of nutrition and their subscription service is risk-free. You can modify or freeze it if you need to. Plus you get exclusive discounts, perks, and access to their community. It is so easy. So start your subscription today. You can save up to 15%

off your subscription with our code skinny. Just go to symbiotica.com and use code skinny on your subscription order. Again, that's symbiotica.com code skinny. Melissa Wood Health. When I can't get a meditation in the morning, I like a legs up meditation, relax before my kids wake up. I will take her app and I will get Towns in his stroller and I will put on her 16-minute walking meditation and I will walk. And it's been so nice because having kids, like before kids, I used to meditate every single morning. I would meditate for fucking 30 minutes.

And then with kids, I've had to like adjust. And this little tweak of doing a walking meditation has been so game-changing. After her meditation, I'll go straight to my notes app. I'll write all these notes walking meditation has been so game changing. After her meditation, I'll go straight to my notes app. I'll write all these notes down. I get so much clarity. I'm sure you've heard of Melissa Wood Health. If you haven't, you have to check out her app, MWH.

It basically is designed to strengthen both your mind and your body. She has workouts, meditation, nutrition, lifestyle. Her content is stuff that I always find value in. I'll go on and like look at her grocery lists or listen to the episode on her app of why she got into meditation or even do a workout when I need something quick, and it always hits the spot. Melissa's workouts offer a blend of yoga and Pilates classes. She also has a seven-day reset and renew program. Everyone's obsessed on Instagram and a week-long nutrition program. As Melissa says herself, don't trust me, try me. Visit melissawoodhealth.com and use code SKINNY at

checkout to get your first month free of your monthly membership. That's M-E-L-I-S-S-A-W-O-O-D-H-E-A-L-T-H.com and you can use code SKINNY for your first month free. What other things have you learned about marriage? I think you're the perfect person to ask. You guys seem like you have a really solid marriage. If it seems like it's life or death in the moment, it probably isn't. If you think about something and you think, okay, 20 years from now, what will I think about this moment?

And if it is like, nothing, then, you know, have the argument, have the discussion, but have a different perspective on it. Something that we've done from the beginning that I think is really important is we do this thing called the summit where about once a year, maybe we have a meeting like a business meeting. So the business meeting is about everything. It's about how are we communicating? How's our sex life? How's our money? How's our parenting? How's our wellness? How's your parents affecting me? How are my parents affecting you? What do we want to do in business? It's like an overall kind of temperature taking of where each person is. And we put our weapons down at the door. You show up at the table with the intention of learning, right? Not the intention of being right or being the hero, but the intention of really learning what's your agenda for this year or this moment in time or this relationship. And here's mine and wanting to understand where you each are. We've done that. I don't know how we figured that out, but we've done that from the beginning.

How long is the summit? Depends on what we're talking about. Well, is it like 10 minutes or is it like six hours? Totally depends on what we're talking about. Has it been six hours?

Never been six hours. How long has it been the longest? Maybe hour, hour and a half. Okay. I'm going to buy a gavel off Amazon and I'm going to have a summit.

No, no, no. But then that makes you the judge. That makes me the judge. No, you can't do that. She would love to be the judge. No, no, we don't do that. I want to then that makes you the judge that makes me the judge no you can't do that judge no no i want to do that but i you know some of the things that lauren and i do is maybe not in the same way but similar like we well one we always talk about like the recovery process this we see so many of our friends that are dating and they start fighting over the dumbest shit with their partners and i I'm like, this is not worth it. You're not going to care.

We are committed to like the big stuff we got to go through. But the little stuff is like, that was stupid. Even if we get into it with each other, we just move on. Like we don't need to go back and rehash it. We just look at each other. That was dumb. Yeah, same thing. Right.

And I think when I watch some of my friends that are new to relationships and the dumb stuff is what's crushing them like just let it go it's not that important it doesn't matter like this is there's other things especially as you get deeper in a relationship that are going to be much more important to like that's when you put your foot in the sand but the stupid shit like you got to be able to recover from that stuff quick totally don't sweat the small stuff as corny as that sounds that's exactly right don't sweat the small stuff try not to think take things personally i think and you know we always keep saying you should be able to say anything to your partner really if your intention is not to hurt them we don't name call we don't defame character ever

that's just not who we are we don't do that in a fight with the stranger on the street so if you're if you know your partner's intention is love, then you can hear things very differently. Once you start forgetting that they're not coming at you with love, you know, you start thinking something a little different, it affects how you listen. Really the most important thing is listening. It's not talking. It's listening. I hope you've been taking notes this whole podcast i can't wait to hear what you learned in a weird way though i also think it's strange we do this show together and i almost feel in a strange way and i don't want to call it therapy because

i don't want to diminish therapy or therapists or people that are in therapy but we get it we've done 700 of these long conversations together. And I feel like it's been therapeutic for our relationship because I don't think a lot of couples spend a lot of time with an outside perspective, right? Like we can, I can hear this. I will take this information.

And I know she is enthusiastic about me taking a lot of this information, but it's not, it doesn't have to be like this. It's like a third perspective. Totally. We're both in the same room. Does that make sense? It does. It's almost like learning publicly, right? As opposed to when you go into a therapist office, a couple's, we have never been in couples therapy, but I would imagine that's such a private space. So you can, as we say in the South, you can act ugly. You know, you can act ugly with a therapist. You can't act ugly on a podcast. No. The whole world hears you. So you have to kind of be on your best behavior and listen, because I would imagine your goal is to learn out loud. So as you learn, your audience is also learning. So the intention here is to learn. Whereas if you would go into a private session with a couples therapist, that might not be your intention.

Yeah, I think sometimes maybe people will get frustrated with me personally because I'll repeat stuff back or clarify points. But to your point, I'm doing this show right now with the three of us in the room almost disregarding that anyone's even potentially listening later. And so you're right. I'm trying to absorb and listen and learn. And hopefully there's a benefit from people that are listening, but like selfishly, I'm also like just kind of doing it for myself and trying to retain everything that I hear here. Yes. What is your day to day like? Like, I feel like you guys have, I know you said he's on the road a lot, but I feel like your schedule is crazy too. Cause you're organizing. You also have your own podcast. What is your day? Like what's the day in the life of Leanne?

Well, my life has changed a lot in the last year. You know, this, we have 14 employees now. This time last year we had one. So it's, it's interesting. I do not have a college degree. I am just somebody who's super scrappy. And I think I'm just logical and street smart. And, and I have a lot of history in comedy. So when we started building this company, it became apparent after we had three or four employees that someone needed

to be the CEO. And that became me because I kind of know where all the bodies are buried in the whole scope of his world. And I know what's going on personally and what's going on in typical Hollywood and what's going on in atypical Hollywood. So my day-to-day now is not the same as when I had small kids. I did a lot of volunteer work when I had small kids for my kids' schools. I was super involved in all their sports. I'm still a Girl Scout troop leader. I've been a Girl Scout troop leader for 13 years.

Both my girls are Girl Scouts. But now my days are really intense. I work out three days a week with a trainer. I'm in therapy one day a week. And then I go to the office and I'm at the office all day. Are you in the cold plunge sauna? I will not do that. I apologize. I tried to cold plunge for a week and I think it caused a lot of trauma responses because when I stayed with my dad, he lived in a 250-year-old log cabin that didn't have heat. And let me tell you about cold in Georgia with no heat. It's pretty freaking cold.

And every time I would get in there, it would make me so emotional. I tried it for one week every single day and I was like, I don't really need to go through this. I'm good. But I sauna, I love to sauna. But no cold plunge, no.

That's interesting. No candy. It made you emotional. It was awful i mean standing in a in this log cabin to take a shower you have to get undressed obviously and it's like 32 in your bathroom just in the air right and to get in that hot shower i would never shower can you imagine it was awful it was awful i shower. We had one fireplace. And so the only heat in the house was this one fireplace. We eventually built a fireplace to kind of put more heat in the house.

But no, I can't do cold like that. No. No way, no. Butthole sunning? Not me. Not you. Any other wellness things that you like to do? Well, I drink a ton of water, which seems like, oh, duh.

But no, I drink like a gallon of water a day. Like actually you drink a gallon? I do, yeah. Do you measure it out? Yes, I do. I have a bottle that's not with me, but I drink four of these bottles every day. Yes. Water is, you know what my trainer?

I drink a shitload of water. My trainer is amazing. He is the trainer for the U.S. Olympic Beach Volleyball Team. And his number one thing is water it's like you're 70 percent water in your body you just need a lot of water it lubricates your joints it helps you sleep it makes your skin look better and it makes you more effective as an athlete who is your favorite comedian out of all the comedians that you hang out with. Personally. Besides Burt. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, Dave Attell. He is really talented, too. Dave Attell? Yeah, one of the best. Personally. Amazing. Personally.

What do you mean personally? Like, not on stage. Oh, you mean as a person? As a friend. Hmm. I like Andrew Centino a lot. God, I don't know all these comics. He's a great guy.

Shane Torres is one of our closest friends. Dave Williamson is a very close friend. I bet it's pretty funny when you guys all go out. I don't know about funny. You know, comics are, Mark Norman is, I forgot. Sorry, Mark. Mark Norman is probably, I call him my little brother. He's just the best.

But, you know, comics are funny, but they're not normal people. So there are a lot of neuroses, a lot of paranoia in some of them, a lot of dysfunction. What do you mean neuroses? What do you mean by that? Like OCD stuff, ruminating on stuff. Think about the kind of mind that goes and pursues that and is that. You know what I mean? I don't want to be... It's not no that's not a common mind hey i'm going to go and stand in front of a bunch

of people and tell jokes for a living and that's it if you think about you've got to be a little bit crazy like that's going to be the way that i make a living is yeah go in front of a bunch of people and tell jokes they don't process the world like other people right they'll process the world like other people, right? They'll process the world very differently. So in those processes, it sometimes looks like pain. Sometimes it looks like obsession. Sometimes it looks like, you know, lack of ethics or it just looks different. So I think knowing what's at the core is what you have to do when you hang out with a bunch of comics. I can imagine too that you save your energy capacity for stage, meaning you can't go out and, to me, this is what I would think if I was a comic,

you can't go out and waste all your, like, funniness and performance when you're just out on a normal day. You almost have to save it to use it on stage. Does that make sense? Yeah, there's a lot of sleeping that happens on tour. A lot of naps. Yeah, you have to, like, recharge, recharge. I mean, I don't know.

That's what I would think. They're very nonconformists, you know. All of them are nonconformists. And what's interesting about it is they still conform to the schedule of a stand-up. But the schedule of a stand-up is so skewed, their night starts at 7 or 8. And then they're in bed at 2 or 3. So then they're sleeping till noon. And then they'll take a nap at 4. There's a lot of sleep involved, but they're very much nonconformists. And I love that about them. I love the whole community of comedy because they have such a unique perspective on life. And how do you learn

if you just walk through your own perspective all day? You can't possibly learn. And why wouldn't you want to learn a different perspective through laughter? I hate it when comics get canceled. Sometimes they probably should be canceled, why wouldn't you want to learn a different perspective through laughter you know i hate it when comics get canceled sometimes they probably should be canceled but most of the time i go wow you really just can't look at it just slightly off color it's just slightly off color lets you know where you may be slightly off color but also comics aren't going to start they're going to

start to feel like they can't do anything and it's like a laser tag don't you feel like the pendulum speaking of pendulums that's it's swung back a little now where i feel like people are like we need comedy now to call out the absurdities and i think it's absurd there was a window of time there let's call it 2020 to maybe 20 end of 22 but i feel like now people like okay bring back the comedy i think that window of time did a great deal of damage for a lot of reasons yeah i think I think a lot of the social issues that were going on were very confusing for the middle school, high school age kids that were listening to, you know, Me Too movement, which was a really important movement. But when you're an undeveloped brain, what I've seen happen is a lot of girls be really scared of guys and i go that well that sucks vice versa a lot of guys just exactly you're exactly right it

i think about even how i like if i was a young guy during that time like the only way that i was dating you have to actually go up to a woman right like i would just be like i'm not going up to anyone you were trying to 69 me at McDonald's, so I don't know what you would have done. Were you still in the blue sequined dress? I was 13.

I wasn't wearing the blue sequined dress. I might go buy one of those. No, but I just, I imagine men and women, it's like men don't want to, I think that period of time did so much damage.

Dating is, we hear horror stories now of just people dating. They don't know what to do. They don't know how to go about it.'s like it's just a mess and high schools the i have a high schooler and i watch her whole peer group go wow this is a whole new world and what caused this whole new world what's why are we here and the only thing i can come up with is the pandemic and me too and and the a lot of bad guys got exposed a lot of bad behavior i shouldn't say

guys but a lot of bad behavior was exposed in me too and i think kids the girls don't we're too young to process it and we're still exposed to it does that make sense yeah they just think now they think that behavior is standard standard and it's not standard it's the outliers and those outliers are are inarguably terrible people, just like there are outliers in every community that have yucky people. It's unfortunate. Anyway, a tangent.

I love a tangent. I love a tangent. I feel like I got a PhD on this podcast. No, you do not. You have so many brilliant people on this podcast. No, that was a good one. I really, really enjoyed that. Where can everyone find you, your podcast?

Tell us about what you're working on. I want you and Bert to come on together later on, but tell us what you're working on. Tell us about your podcast, everything that you're doing and where to find you on Instagram. Okay, well,

I'm the CEO of Bertie Boy Productions. So you can go to BertieBoyProductions.com to check that out. We just produced a great stand-up special for Shane Torres that you can watch on YouTube and listen to on SiriusXM.

I'm very proud of it. I've produced all of Burt's specials, but this was the first special I produced that was not Burt. So I'm very proud of that. Wife of the Party is my podcast. You can go to wifeotp.com. That's my website.

You can also listen anywhere you listen to podcasts. You can find me on YouTube. Oh, and Instagram. Le kreischer this is my instagram thank you very much for coming on thank you i'm truly going to go tell him this was the best podcast i've ever listened to you might cross the lobby