The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Lisa Vanderpump On The Future Of Vanderpump Rules, Housewives Juice, Grief, & How To Forgive

Episode Date: January 11, 2021

#321: On today's episode we are joined by Lisa Vanderpump. Many listeners may recognize Lisa from The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills and Vanderpump Rules. Lisa is a British restaurateur, television personality, author and actress. On Today's episode we discuss the future of Vanderpump Rules, Housewives juice and drama, grief, and how we can forgive.  To listen to Lisa's new podcast click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by Bioptimizers Magnesium Breakthrough is a complete formula that includes naturally-derived forms of all 7 forms of supplemental magnesium and doesn’t contain any synthetic additives or preservatives. Today you can get 10% OFF with a specialThe Skinny Confidential coupon code when you visit bioptimizers.com/skinny and enter code SKINNY10 This episode is brought to you by Palmers Palmer’s has been caring for your skin since 1840 and is America’s #1 Cocoa Butter Brand. Cocoa Butter Formula Original Solid Jar delivers 24 Hour deep hydration all over; heals and softens, leaving skin smooth & moisturized.You can find Palmer’s Original Solid In Store and online at Walmart, Target, Walgreens, CVS or Amazon This episode is brought to you by FOUR SIGMATIC We have been drinking this company's mushroom-infused elixirs and coffees for over a year now. When we need a break from coffee but still need that extra morning jolt and focus the Mushroom Coffee with Lion's Mane and Chaga is the way to go. Lauryn also drinks the Mushroom Matcha which is a green tea designed as a coffee alternative for those of you who want to cut back on caffeine without losing focus and cognitive boosts. This stuff doesn't actually taste like mushrooms, it's delicious. All of these blends have a ton of nutrients and amino acids to give you balanced energy without the jitters. To try FOUR SIGMATIC products go to foursigmatic.com/skinny and use promo code SKINNY for 15% off all products. Produced by Dear Media 

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to The Skinny Confidential, him and her.

Aha! Him and her. And when we live a public life, I think we have so many responsibilities on so many levels. To be charitable, to be philanthropic, altruistic, I think all those. But you're right, to shine a light on things. Life isn't all diamonds and rosé, but it should be. Welcome back to the Skinny Confidential Him and Her podcast. We have the motherfucking Lisa Vanderpump on today. I personally could not be more excited for this episode. And I personally could not be more excited for this episode.

I had fun with Lisa. We had fun. We not only were able to interview her, we got to go to her fabulous Villa Rose. Is it Villa Rosa or Villa Rose? I think it's Villa Rosa. Manor. And we got the tour. Ken was showing us the ponies.

The ponies are named Diamond and Rose. We met Hanky and Panky, the swans. We got the full tour and we got it for you because it is on my Instagram under the highlight LVP. That place is next level. That place is pretty nuts. It is next level. And I am personally so attached to this episode because Lisa lost her brother to suicide and

she really opens up in this episode and we were able to have a really transparent conversation. So this episode is very near and dear to my heart. I talk about my mom in this episode. And then, of course, Lisa also gives us the juice. Like, she delivers the juice, okay? She delivers the rosé on a silver platter with a Baccarat glass with maybe a slice of lemon. I think you guys are going to love this episode.

I know if you're a fan of Housewives, you will be freaking out. With that little background, Lisa Vanderpump is a mom. She's a wife. She's a dog mom. She's a British restaurateur, television personality, author, and actress. She has her own wine line. She's an entrepreneur. You may know her restaurants in LA, Pump, Sur, Villa Rose. She does it all, I am telling you. She was also on Bravo's The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Personally, one of my favorite housewives ever. And she does Vanderpump rules. Lisa is multifaceted and we are going to get all the details in this interview. Also, just so you know, I am going to be on Lisa Vanderpump's podcast, All Things Vanderpump. She interviews me and I talk about Michael and he doesn't know yet. We talk about all different kinds of things. I think she asked me

when my first blowjob was with you. So we get into it. Definitely listen to her show, All Things Vanderpump. It's a good one. Wow. Hard hitting questions there. Definitely. So get ready. This is the skinny confidential him and her. Hello. Thank you for having me. Thank you for coming to Villa Rosa. Villa Rosa is so insane. You guys, I'm going to post an Instagram story highlight. It is so peaceful and beautiful. And she has music outside and you pull up and these gates open and there's swans and we walked in and there's like this beautiful calming music the glass doors you walk in she has her beautiful vanderpump rosé which is dry keep going i want to live here listen i mean and you

look out and then you see the ponies and the ponies are named Diamond and Rosé. And then the swans, Hanky and Panky. It's so good. It's like you can't make this shit up. Yeah, I mean, Lisa, twist our arm for coming up here. Yeah, you know what? It's a very unusual situation up here. And I think it's unusual because I have created it myself. I mean, you can tell there's the through line.

I think sometimes you go into people's houses and you see somebody's designed the house and somebody else has done the interior decoration and somebody else has accessorized it. But when it's one person with a vision, it kind of takes it all the way through from the pony house matching the curtains, matching, it's like a story. So everything I do really, I like to be a complete experience, except that I can't be bothered about that. That's no complete experience. My restaurants, I want it to be a complete experience. I want it to be about the ambience, about the food, about the visuals with the staff. So yeah. Have you always been like that? Even when you were little, a little girl,

do you remember doing this with your room? I remember it. I always wanted pink in my life it's I think there's some things that you are inherent in you you can't change about yourself things that you're attracted to for me when they talk about rehabilitating people they've got fundamental flaws or addictions that sometimes it's very hard when it's actually just inbuilt in you do you know what I mean like for me there's certain things I've always been attracted to. If you lock me up for 20 years, it wouldn't change me. I love dogs. I'm just obsessed by them.

I know the name of every dog in the street. I'm attracted to roses and pinks. I'm just a very passionate person about so many things on so many different levels. I mean, this is a vision. It is. My last house was extraordinary as well. I worked very hard to create that kind of beauty in my life and make sure that my home, with all the craziness

and having bars and restaurants and clubs over the years, the home is a sanctuary. I think my kids can say they never heard us have a raised voice in the house. I mean, of course, I'd yell at them, pick your backpack up, have you done your homework? come down you're gonna be late all that kind of stuff but between the two of us even if I killed him in private I wanted to create that sanctuary and I would advise anybody whatever goes on your life to always in front of the kids try to keep that calm if you can because it's very unsettling and unnerving as a child I grew up with you know

parents that bickered and argued and sure they loved each other my mother died last year but just suddenly unexpectedly but it it was still unnerving as a child always been in this kind of middle of this fractious I talk about this a lot with Michael I say that it's so important to have the energy right in the home and it's so important to have the energy right in the home. And it's so important to have the five senses going. And you seem to sort of be the queen of the five senses. Yeah, I think it is. I think life is about that. It's about stimulating all the senses. And I think we're very comfortable, even if we don't know how to do it, when people do that for us, it just makes you feel much more relaxed in your space. So for me, I spend a lot of time, as I say, I've been here for eight, nine months now.

I've been working and doing a lot of different things, but I have maintained it even though I haven't had any help. Normally I have a lot of help because I'm always on the go, but it's important to me to kind of live well. Even if I had one room one room i'd decorate it i'd make it beautiful even if i had one flower on the table i just think if you make that effort and you put that effort into your life it kind of makes you feel happy and more content and you can then deal with the the crap that the world throws at you I was saying your husband just took me down

to the wine cellar and I was saying not a bad place to be in a pandemic you guys are well quick got down to the wine cellar already

yeah I know where to go we're talking of wine cheers cheers we're drinking Vanderpump Rose really good you also have a white

and a red that you just came out with cheers Taylor please don't get drunk and fuck stuff up I would love to know, just because of everything that's going on with quarantine and COVID,

what are some tips for our audience to make their home, whether it's a one bedroom, a dorm room, whatever it is, feel good? Like what are little tiny things that you can do? I do think flowers, and they're so expensive and they're so crazy. But even if you have just a bud vase you know with with one rose

or even few carnations or something it will last forever I'm a big lover of cooking and even if it's simple making things beautiful I think candlelight lighting is extraordinarily important a lot of people don't think it is. When you kind of are in your space, really pay attention to the lighting. And it's just like when you come out of a great restaurant and you get in the elevator or the lift, suddenly it's like, oh, a lot of people don't understand lighting. And I've just benched into the lighting business. Actually, I mean, these are all ours. Vanderpump Lane and a lot of the stuff at TomTom and the subtleties of creating your space and different lighting aspects, I think are really important. Candlelight, I think is even

one candle in a room at dinner changes everything. I think natural light is very important to me. I can get depressed or suffer with depression, mainly more circumstantial things when things get too hard, like when I lost my brother two years ago, and then my mother, I can kind of flounder a little bit like I did then. So natural light's very important to me. So I think if you don't have a lot of natural light, then put mirrors near windows to kind of double the space and double the light. And I think just really have a discipline about your life because it is crazy out there and it is difficult. And I think it's been extraordinarily difficult for people just in COVID being at home all the time. Virtually, I mean, if you're at home in here,

it's fine. Okay. Of course, it's a lot of work, but it's like you're living, there's no claustrophobia. You've got amazing views. We can eat somewhere different every day of the week. There's so many different scenarios. It's fantastic. I'm so blessed to be in this house. But you see so many people, they're on their computer and they're living in small spaces. And I think you've got to get out. You've got to put on your headphones, listen to music and walk in the park. You've got to exercise. Exercise is fundamental to, I think, happiness. And multitask. I find exercise boring, but I really always do something when I'm on the treadmill. I'm either watching something or listening or on the phone. So the time goes by quickly. But I think all those things are absolutely essential for your mental health.

I wanted to ask you, I'm not as big of a fan of the Housewives franchise as Lauren. I watch it whenever it's on and I love what I see. Nor am I. Yeah. We can talk about that. But one thing that I've observed there and I admire about you and Ken is you guys seem like you're in a very, very solid relationship. You protect each other. You both have each other's backs extremely. And I think about that because Lauren and I, we've been together 10 years now and been married for four. It's really important to us that we always protect the sanctity of the marriage. And I wanted you to talk about that a little bit and like is does that come natural to both of you or is like because you've you've been put in

compromising positions on the show but you guys always seem to have each other's backs no matter what. Ken is very protective of me. I love that about him. I don't understand when I've seen some things on social media and I have to say for the most part, social media has been extraordinarily supportive through every negative housewife experience I've endured or gang ups and things. The fans and people watching have always been amazing. But occasionally I'd see somebody like, oh, Ken shouldn't get involved. Why not? If he's sitting down in a room, it's not like they're coming at me. I would do the same. If they came at Lauren, then you'd be all over that.

And so would I. If it's somebody you love and it's not one-on-one, it's not a fair fight, I think absolutely he would jump in. And I've grown up with Ken. I've been married to Ken since I'm 21 years old. And I think the success of our relationship always is that he's had a lot of confidence in everything I do. And he's encouraged me and he's never tried to stifle me.

But he's also been very supportive. And he knows me. He knows who I am. And when they're constantly saying, you did that or you did that. And you're like, no, I didn't. And the final straw with Kyle, that scene when I said to you, i swear to you on my children's life that should be enough and i think ken knows me very well and i think he just got frustrated with constantly being the target on that show i have to say as a huge huge housewife connoisseur and i was telling

you this earlier that the show is not the same without you. And there's certain housewives, another one is Bethany Frankel. There's just not as much depth, not as much charm. And it feels like sometimes that they're reaching for things to find. Whereas when you were on the show, it had so much character. Looking back at that whole experience,

are you glad you had it? Are you glad it's over? Oh, gosh. How do you feel? At the time, I was in a real emotional kind of dilemma. I was really struggling after my brother died. There's nothing that I've ever experienced anything like that. My only sibling to suddenly commit suicide unexpectedly.

I was just beyond devastated. I was talking about this yesterday. Somebody, I couldn't open the fridge. If there wasn't milk in the fridge, I would like start crying. I'll just beyond devastated. I was talking about this yesterday, somebody, I couldn't open the fridge. If there wasn't milk in the fridge, I would like to start crying. I'll cry about anything. And so I struggled through Vanderpump rules. And then I went into Housewives and I did suggest that I did take that season off because I felt that I just wasn't strong enough to. And I had been the subject of a few gang ups before season four in Puerto Rico season six so I knew I had another one coming pretty soon but I just wasn't strong enough and before I'd sat at the reunion two or three times with them all against me and just been indignant and resolute and

vociferous in my defense and this time I just fuck it, I can't do this anymore. I'm searching for happiness. And there they were all against me over this nonsense. It was not of any benefit to my foundation to be out in the open anyway about one of our dogs ending up in a shelter. So the whole thing, and as if I would give a story to Radar Online, if I was going to give a story to Radar Online, there would be millions of stories about my restaurants that would be advertising. It was the most bullshit I've ever heard. So when I was just like, I swear to you, and then I suddenly thought something inside me clicked and I thought, I'm done. That's it. I'm done. And people are like,

how can you walk away from each show? And I thought it's not I wasn't in the the space then so I do think it's probably lost maybe a bit of its gravitas in terms of a lot of people thought I was the anchor on the show and the narrative in terms of maybe being somebody that was kind of not an incendiary character but somebody that kind of ignited conversation but also somebody that saw things in a very down-to-earth fashion just actually brought some kind of a level really to can i ask you a personal question can ask me anything you want someone that that's reached the level of success that you and ken have and you're in this place when you get approached for a show like that like outside perspective you'd say like why do you need need that headache? And I wonder that when you look at something like that,

you could say, fuck it later and move. Because listen, if you leave the show and this is your worst case scenario, you're fine, especially with all the restaurants and everything else. What is the motivation to want to do something like that and put yourself through that kind of, I wouldn't say headache, but drama. Hold up. Let's talk about Palmer's. Palmer's has been caring for your skin since 1940, you guys. It is America's number one cocoa butter brand. Here's what I did when I was pregnant to not get any stretch marks, and it worked. I used their cocoa butter formula original solid jar, and then I mixed it with oil, and I put it all over my stomach, my legs, my butt, everything. I'm telling you, it gives you

this 24-hour deep hydration that heals and softens and leaves your skin feeling buttery and smooth. That mixed with the oil was like liquid gold. To get micro with you, the cocoa butter formula original solid jar has cocoa butter and vitamin E in it, and it's for all skin types. So normal, dry, even if you have eczema-prone skin, it works with that too. It's totally multipurpose, so if you're not pregnant, you can also use it on cracked heels. You can protect your tattoos. You can remove your makeup. You can even soothe dry lips.

I am telling you, this is the product that you want to have on hand all the time. They even have this full list of 101 uses at palmers.com slash jar 101. Okay. So you can find Palmer's original solid in stores and online at Walmart, Target, Walgreens, CVS, or Amazon. From Palmer's, choose what's real. Try this mixed with oil. You will not be sorry. Oh my goodness, that is a good question. But if you rewind the tape to,

let's go back to 10 years ago when reality television wasn't as popular and the only thing I really knew about reality television was the Osbournes. And I love Sharon, Ozzie, Kelly. I mean, I adore them. But there was a little kind of crazy aspect to it. So when I was kind of asked to join a group of women that I didn't know particularly well in Beverly Hills, and I was quintessential Beverly Hills. I lived in Beverly Park. I had Villa Blanca, one of the primary restaurants in Beverly Hills. I kind of lived the life, so to speak. I thought, no, this isn't for me at all. And I thought, well, I imagined that to be interesting in reality television, you had to have conflict at home and be very, and I just thought that was

the antithesis of how we lived our life. So initially I said, no, I don't think that's for me. And then I was approached by another group of women because they wanted to actually have an existing group of friends so that it was an authentic. So then I said, no, I really don't. And I kind of turned, I didn't turn the offer. They didn't offer it to me. They just asked me to come and audition.

And I said, no, no, no, no, it's really not for me. And then Jennifer Stallone actually Sly's wife said oh you have to go in you have to go and watch New York Housewives so I remember watching it on her and Sly's bed watching it and I was thinking oh shit Jennifer it's so not me at all I mean they're arguing in arguing and they're batshit crazy and they're like, no, yeah, you've got to go in. So then Robert Kovacic, who's one of the main journalists, anchors on NBC for one of my greatest friends, said, you're going in, there's an audition. I'm going to take you over there. And he drove me over to the valley and he waited outside and they just went, we want to come to your house. We want to come and film you. And they said that my audition was just, they said, what about your sex life? And I said, they aired

this recently, I don't remember. And I said, what do you want to know about my sex life? You want to know about my sex life with my husband or with everybody else? And I just didn't give a shit. I really did. And I was just kind of, so they asked me to film this questionnaire, and they said, you should see the way you filled it in. Like, strike, strike, strike. I just didn't answer any of the questions. And then they said, we want to come to your house and film. And they came to my house and they did this kind of in-depth interview and looked around your house.

And it was the quintessential my old house. It was very Beverly Hills. It was cars. I mean, in fact, that house is on the opening of Schitt's Creek. It shouldn't be because they've used it. And I know they used it when I was living there because they have that statue that's over there. And they've used that house as the opening scene, my old house. So it was very quintessential Beverly Hills.

So then they said to me, we would love you to be part of the cast. And by then I knew Kyle. Adrian lived across the road Adrian had a friend called Taylor and then Kyle's sister was Kim and then it was an existing group and Andy said which probably didn't go down that well with some of the other women a couple of times in interviews that he wasn't sure about doing Beverly Hills but he said he greenlit it when he saw my tape because he felt it was a different flavor so that probably wasn't the best thing to say when you're a part of an ensemble cast but it sounds like it was maybe it started as something different than what it turned into I never envisaged that it would be I would be the subject of gang ups or the recipient. I never envisaged that. I've never seen women

behave like that. But I understand that in reality, they put you together in authentic situations that then culminates in reactions just kind of going into overdrive, so to speak. And I remember the first time we went to New York and Camille and Kyle got into this fight and it was the famous line where she says you're such a fucking liar Camille and I went upstairs to bed in tears and I said again I can't do this I can't do this and producers ran after me I was just saying I just I just can't do it can't do it but then you start to understand that situations like that they become more intense very quickly. And I think it's more heightened, the emotions. And I'm not saying it's inauthentic. One of the premises of reality

television is to speak your mind. Say, for instance, you showed up here 20 minutes late. You didn't, but say you did hypothetically. And you'll say, hey, come in, sit down, have some rosé. They would probably say, you've been waiting. So initially you'd say hey come in sit down have some rosé they would probably say you've been waiting so initially say listen sorry have some rosé but why are you so late and that because they never want the audience to be thinking something that's transpired that you're not saying so you end up kind of basically speaking your mind on many levels that maybe you wouldn't and then that results or culminates in friction. If we did show up late, I would have blamed the baby.

I would have said it's the baby's fault. That's what I get out of it now. Hey, listen, the clock stops here. He doesn't come and go when you want. I think that there's an elephant in the room with you where it's like people were jealous. And that's as a viewer. People were jealous of a lot of things. They were jealous of your house. They were jealous of your life. But most of all, they were jealous that you got your own show. Wow. I've never said that, but you're right. In the second season,

to be given Vanderpump Rules, that was a huge, because a lot of other housewives tried for their own spinoff, and they did pilots, and it didn't come to fruition. So to have that, which I didn't know that Van and Pump Rules would go for nine years or keep going, but I did know that we had one of the ingredients that is so hard to come by in reality television, and that's authenticity and so basically we couldn't show as much we wanted to on of my business life on housewives and yeah suddenly that the first season I kind of skated by but then a lot of feelings I had a lot of opportunities that others didn't have and And maybe that did result in some feelings. I mean, I was suddenly off dancing with stars or I got my star on the Walk of Fame when

Vanderpump Rules was going on. And then I was doing a lot of things politically as well. I was trying to fight for the humane treatment of dogs, was speaking in Congress. Vanderpump Rules became very popular, became the heart of pop culture. Yeah, maybe it did result in feelings you can say it but i can't yeah i think that's pretty accurate but the problem is is it wasn't like you just got another show it was first of all it's your last name on the show and it's the show was a huge hit i mean i noticed myself it's so weird clicking vanderpump rules before i

click housewives and so what it did is it almost like i clicking Vanderpump Rules before I click Housewives. And so what it did is it almost like, I don't want to say cannibalized Housewives, but it all of a sudden- It felt eclipsed in one way. It was a different show. It was more avant-garde show. And I remember as I was with Bill Langworthy and Alex Baskin, as we were talking about production of it, I said, I want it to be edgier and sexier and not compete with Housewives at all.

And yeah, it suddenly did kind of take on a life of its own. And that might have been hard for other people to acknowledge or they didn't ever really acknowledge it as a show. Which is wild because it is seriously the keeping up with the Kardashians of Bravo. You can't duplicate that show because those are real authentic relationships. We've met a few of the people on that show and like you said, you can't duplicate that. Well, I think the authenticity of the fact that people are working in a restaurant and basically struggling to maintain a certain lifestyle or image. I mean, they all wanted to be actors or models or this

or that, but they're basically waitresses. And I think that's kind of interesting to see that juxtaposition of wanting to live the glamour and they were all friends and and they've grown up and some of them made mistakes i mean but the cast has just got bigger and bigger i mean i find people like james kennedy fascinating yeah to to watch because i have never seen anybody i mean he's different now he's sober but i have never seen anybody that is so unaware of the cameras if he would literally be snot would coming out of his nose going I want my job back or he would say something he thought was funny and you would see blood rush to his face as he blushed and he has no people say I have no filter and you sometimes think that's an excuse they They're just rude, just whatever. But he has almost no perception that anybody is watching him.

And to me, that is just the essence of a great reality star, if you can really set that aside, you know. Hold up. Let's talk about magnesium. I have been talking about magnesium since 2014. It's one of those things that is so important to get in your diet. I first was introduced to it when a celebrity said that they use magnesium to get things moving. And then I was talking to a friend who said that they're recovering from a burnout. Like they just felt burnt out after this year. And they said,

magnesium is the secret. So we just started working with bio-optimizers and they have this magnesium and this magnesium supplement is legit. Okay. So most magnesiums are synthetic. They're unnatural and they're not recognized by your body. And they're also not full spectrum, which is what you want. So they don't have all the seven forms that you need. This magnesium, okay, is the most potent, complete, first full spectrum magnesium formula that's ever been created. This one is called magnesium breakthrough, and it's a complete formula that includes naturally derived forms of all seven forms of magnesium, like I said, and it's a complete formula that includes naturally derived forms of all seven forms of supplemental magnesium. And what we love most is it doesn't contain any synthetic additives or I said, and it's a complete formula that includes naturally derived forms of all seven forms of

supplemental magnesium. And what we love most is it doesn't contain any synthetic additives or preservatives. So it's the real deal, the most potent oral magnesium you will ever find, period. This is so easy to implement into your routine. And what you're going to get from it is a sense of calm relaxation. I like to take mine at night. It helps you wind down. It's really good for your nervous system and stress. And if you're feeling a burnout and if anyone out there can not sleep, this is going to be your best friend. Okay. If you're looking for peace and serenity this year, and you just want to nourish your body, grab some magnesium breakthrough. Okay. You can try it for at least 30 days and see how you like it and see if it makes a difference in your mood and your

stress levels. And today, as always, you get 10% off with a special Skinny Confidential coupon when you visit biooptimizers.com slash skinny, and you're going to enter code skinny10 at checkout. That's B-I-O-P-T-I-M-I-Z-E-R-S dot com forward slash skinny, and use code skinny10, you guys. Once again, that's biooptimizers.com slash skinny with use code skinny 10. You guys, once again, that's biooptimizers.com slash skinny with coupon code skinny 10. We've had people on our podcast that say certain things on the podcast and then people get mad at us, but I feel like we're going to

continue to have polarizing conversations and bring people on. And we can't be as hosts responsible for what comes out of the guest's mouth. With Vanderpump, do you feel like you're responsible for all of these people on the show? Because like us, you can't control what comes out of their mouth. No, not at all. I mean, I could control what's in the edit as a producer, but we don't. We try to tell the real story. Now, if they're talking crap about me, I could say, you know what but we don't. We try to tell the real story. Now, if they're talking crap about me, I could say, you know what, I don't want that out there. But that's not

reality. So if they're going, oh, she's such a bitch, she's so intimidating or whatever, then keep it in. Because if that's the way they feel, I mean, I'm sure a lot of people have talked shit about their boss and things like that. But when they've said negative things or there's been backlash, yeah, just because it's an eponymous show and my name's on the show, yeah, that sometimes can be difficult to deal with. I don't like this cancel culture either. Of course, I do think sometimes people should be punished and there should be punitive ramifications and actions do have consequences, but I think people can grow from their mistakes. I really do. And I think reality television is quite a good place to learn, to see the growth in.

I mean, look at James Kennedy. He was a complete nightmare. And then you see suddenly he comes out of that, like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon, where he's suddenly, he's not exactly a butterfly, let's be honest, but he's definitely, you see him making progress. I think see progress in youngsters is is a wonderful thing to watch yeah we've had a we had a young

woman activist on this show call it accountability culture and we're saying like we personally agree with you i think cancel culture doesn't help anybody because it takes a learning experience away from the person who's being canceled as well as all the people watching like stassi's been on this show and i i always think to myself, regardless of her making mistakes or not, wouldn't it be so much more useful, not just to her, but to society, to have people watch her kind of go through the path of potential redemption or not,

and then learn from those experiences? It takes it away from everybody. I agree. If you can't see, you're just like, hey, it's canceled, it's gone. That doesn't really necessarily solve the problem for anybody. And people make mistakes. I've made a shitload of them.

Lauren makes a shitload. People have to provide a path of redemption. I think there was a lack of awareness with stassi and i think she lived in her own bubble and again bravo did what they had to do at the time i think everything was so inflamed at that time but it was an accumulation of things she'd done as well it wasn't just one remark and i think the fact that she was proactive in calling with this whole faith situation, just not the way to handle things. This will get me in trouble. Here's what I don't like about that situation. All of these networks and radio companies and agencies and PR companies and management companies had no problem when this all first aired until they started getting backlash. And then they said, oh shit, we got to cover our ass and we got to cancel and i i think that's

such a cop-out and instead of being like hey from the beginning like we could address this or talk about it but they just waited well yeah but in their defense and also my defense when it comes to that i'd never heard that podcast it was some i'd never heard i don't hear there's a cast of quite a big cast and they're all going off doing these interviews. I don't hear any of them. So this story had never reached my ears. And I'm sure whatever they were talking about at the time, they thought was funny because they were saying,

oh, yeah, we did this, we did that. But I'd never certainly heard that. I'd never listened to any of their interviews, quite frankly. I mean, it'd be a full-time job listening to what they say on the show, let alone off the show. So I was thinking, oh God. And then there have been things when she'd said Nazi chic and things that are provocative, very provocative. Having had my family live through World War II and Nazis and my grandparents' house being bombed in the war. I mean, there's a lot of people with so much history

that you can't be cavalier just because you're young and unaware. For that, I think you can grow. But when she was proactive, I think that's what they thought. She seems to be doing a good job of owning it and apologizing, and she seems like she's doing the work she needs to do. Yeah, I think that it's definitely important to hold people accountable and say hey that's not okay that's a mistake and have them acknowledge it no but to just think they're going to go away and like the world's never going to see them again like it's not fair but in in their defense it wasn't right what they

did at all but do i think they're racist a thousand percent not because i have a very diverse a lot of diverse people working for me that they will be very close to over the years so do I think it was a racist action not not at all I just think it was just awful timing and stupid and ignorant yeah it is what it is who is a breakout star on Vanderpump Rules that you think is someone that's like a sleeper like someone who's who's just very very talented someone that you think is going to do big things could be someone that's on the cast now or was I think Lala's got a lot of potential I think Lala's very bright I adore her I think she got a lot of crap at the beginning because she wasn't honest about her relationship.

In terms of bringing it, people are always way more interested in what you've got to hide than what you've got to show. You know, what you don't say than what you do say. So all this, now I can't talk about my man. As soon as Randall came to the forefront, we were like, oh, we get it. He's a great guy.

You know, we get the relationship now. But initially there was all this kind of, everybody was thinking, what the hell is going on here? You know, she didn't kind of come across that well. But I adore her. I hope that they go on to have a very successful future together. Yeah. I would love to go back and hear about the first time you met Ken. Right.

What was that like? Ken had known my brother for about five or six years. And in fact, my brother was DJing in London at Ken, had a club. Ken's 15 years older than me. So when I met him, I was 21, he was 36. Ken was very much the guy about town. He had a partner. They were bad dogs.

And they would be running around, trying to shag anything that moved. You know, that's what they were. Sounds like Michael before me. Yeah, exactly. How come Michael before you? You met when you were 12. No, we haven't been together that long. He wishes.

Oh, I see. So, yeah, I met him because weird story, really. Somebody tried to break into, I bought myself an apartment. I was very industrious and very, I didn't have any help from my parents. I bought myself an apartment in Fulham. I'd worked two jobs and I was living there and somebody tried to break into my place. So I asked my brother if he would stay with me just for a while. And then my brother's car broke down. So I drove him to work and he was DJing at this club that Ken owned. And I dropped him off there. And the manager said, would you mind helping us out? Our receptionist hasn't turned up. I mean, it was so serendipitous, all these kind of components, everything kind of came together. And I said, well, I'm going out for dinner. And they said, we don't get busy till 11 o'clock. And my brother said, well, you're coming back to pick me up anyway, because you don't want to go home on your own.

So I said, all right, I'll come back. So I came back into the nightclub at 10 or 11 o'clock. I'd been on this date, which was a complete nightmare. I was 21 years old or whatever. And I just stood at the reception. And I remember Ken walked in. I just remember absolutely to this day. And I said, good evening, sir. I just mastered it. It was before computers. And I said,

are you a member? So he said, no. So I said, oh, that would be two pounds to get in. And I looked on this Rolodex thing and the bouncer said, he owns the Gap like that. And I said, oh, then you can come in for nothing like that. And he kind of came into this thing and he thought, who's this? Because he knew everybody that worked for him and I was just standing in. And I felt him around me. And you know when people say, oh, no, I didn't find him attractive or I didn't find somebody. I think that's always a lie.

I always think that even if you didn't pick up on, you didn't act on it, I felt this energy around. He was around me a little too often and he was kind of coming out. And I remember he said, will you give me a ride home? And I was just like, no, no, no. He said, well, how about dinner next week? I said, that sounds like a much better idea, but still no. So I turned him down. I'm quite proud of myself for doing that. And then my brother, of course, came out and said, of course you will, like that. And so I ended up giving him a ride home.

And then about six weeks later, I think we were engaged and three months later we were married. Wow. Yeah. Are you guys inseparable? Are you together all the time? Hold on. We need to talk about magic in your cup, aka Four Sigmatic. Have you tried their ground mushroom coffee with lion's mane and chaga? If you want to stop drinking so much coffee,

I was drinking way too much coffee, replace a cup with their ground mushroom coffee. I was drinking way too much coffee. Replace a cup with their ground mushroom coffee. I'm telling you, it's filled with benefits. This coffee is mushroom coffee. So it's more than just coffee. Like I said, it contains lion's mane and supports productivity and creativity during a busy day. And then it has chaga in it. And chaga, to give you a little background, is the king of mushrooms. Chaga, to me, out of all the mushrooms, is my favorite functional mushroom because it's filled with antioxidants that really support the immune system. So like I said, I cut down on the coffee. So I'm only doing one cup in the morning and I'll do this later in the day.

And I just feel like I'm supporting my immune system while I'm doing it. What we love about this company is so many things. But the main thing for me is they have something for everything. They have something to boost energy. They have something to help you sleep better. They have something to help you de-stress. They have something to give your immune system a boost. We have been talking about Four Sigmatic for so long. We've had the founder, Taro, on this show three times to talk about the benefits of mushrooms, and we can't recommend this company enough. They come in these easy packets you can travel with. You can just drop into water using cold water, hot water, whatever. It's just really great product to take on the go

anytime. So how I like to prepare mine is I do the mushroom coffee with hot water. I squeeze lemon in it. I know that sounds weird. And then I put almond milk in it and I froth it up. It is so good. Obviously, all Four Sigmatic products are organic, vegan, and gluten-free. Every single batch is tested in a third-party lab for heavy metals, allergens, bad bacteria, yeast, molds. They do their research. Okay, you guys? Anyway, get excited because I've worked out an exclusive offer with Four Sigmatic on their

best-selling Lion's Mane coffee. This is just for the Skinny Confidential podcast listeners. So you're going to receive 39% off their best-selling Lion's Mane coffee bundles. To claim this deal, you must go to foursigmatic.com slash skinny. You should know that this offer is not available on their regular website, so you're going to go to F-O-U-R-S-I-G-M-A-T-I-C.com slash skinny and fuel your productivity and creativity with some delicious mushroom coffee. Full discounts applied at checkout. We are together a lot of the time. I think COVID has been a bit of a test, not in terms of actually fighting or, but I think that we can both do with

a little bit more space, but the house is big enough that he has a separate office and things like that. And we kind of meet at mealtimes. I do lunch and this, that, and the other. And I've been very busy doing all the things that I'm involved with. But you lost that excitement of traveling. Normally we'd be going to Vegas, a restaurant in Vegas, or we'd be at our restaurants here and it would just be this energy and this bustle. And then I would have the moments at home that we really appreciated. I cannot complain at all. Of course, financially, could our business be shut down for nine months? And people think that's easy. That's not easy

when you've got to pay the rents and you've got to pay the insurances and all the stuff that goes with it. But Pump's open now. Vegas is open now. Sur's open now. TomTom, we're going to open soon. We're just waiting because I know they're kind of teetering on whether they're going to have another, not shut down. I don't want to scare people, but England's just gone into that where they've shut everything down again. But hopefully with the vaccine, maybe we'll kind of leap forward. I'm going to have that vaccine as soon as it comes out. I hope so. I hope so.

Ken's going to have every vaccine. He says, are you kidding me? I'm going to have one of each of them. What are some things that you love about Ken that people would be surprised to know? I think that you can see his kindness, just the way he interacts with Jiggy. And he likes to look after people and nurture people. And he's very, one of the things that's made our relationship, and I would encourage every marriage to really let people not to stifle your partner. Because we live once and we have dreams. And 21 can ask my opinion.

He used to ask my opinion. And my opinion, I don't really think was valid because he had so much more experience in life. But he validated things that I brought to the table. And I was always super astute, objective, and pretty smart, even 21. But I had no experience. As I said, I bought my own place by the time I was 20 or whatever. But he basically has always had confidence in me and I think that's wonderful to have that support and not to stifle your partner because if they say they want to do something it might seem ridiculous to you but they wouldn't say it unless it was important to them and I think

the things I've managed to and going back to your question about if I knew then, you know, what I know now about the experience of reality television, would I have done it and why did I do it? I had no idea of the magnitude of recognition I would have kind of all over the world, so to speak, because it's got such far reach and wide and things I've done but the the opportunities it's given me and to stand up and campaign for things that I've been passionate about the Yule and Dog Meat Festival LGBT rights helping with the homeless for years just wonderful things talking I mean I I don't know. I get these awards. I mean, I got the Mary Pickford Award last week and stuff. And wonderful things that have been bestowed upon me, many or just for things I've done.

But I feel blessed to have been able to try and make change, to be able to implement change, to be able to pass Resolution 401, to be able to co-write the PACT Act, you know, and change the laws about animal torture so it's a felony rather than misdemeanors, to stand up for LGBT rights, to speak on behalf of GLAAD, to work with the Trevor Project, to do their PSAs, to be able to really say, yeah, yeah, I'll help you. Whereas when you don't have that profile, the help isn't as,

it's not the help that is forthcoming. It's just like, if I say I want to help you, I will do your PSA. I will do, I can suddenly have this huge outreach that I post their PSA and it will go to millions of people. So it's a wonderful thing. And I think that I was saying to Ross Matthews yesterday, I do think BAME magnifies who you are. If you're an asshole, you become a bigger asshole. And if you're a decent person, hopefully you use it for the greater good. And I do years, we would always get our restaurant to cook food on the Monday for 15 years at Villa Blanca, take it down to church. I'd always serve the homeless and things like that. And I think everybody can do something. It doesn't matter how small it is, but if everybody just does something, just goes to their local church, how can I help? Or they'll say, we really need this.

Or go to like one of these organizations like Covenant House. We've all got loads of stuff that we don't want that would be so appreciated by other people. And just be involved in giving back to the community. I just think, and FAME really affords you many opportunities to really help and make a difference. I mean, I see when we reach out to people for our gala for the Vanderpump Dog Foundation. People, some people, Mario Lopez, have you ever met him or interviewed him? Oh my God. He's got to be the nicest person on the planet. He hosts our gala every year. Ross Matthews is amazing as well.

Mario and Courtney lopez they're like no no we don't need anything no we'll just be there yeah i'll i'll host it for you or do you want to say no no tell me what oh yeah i got it i'll read it yep sure no problem well do you need a green room do you need it no no just they just want to help brilliant people i've met so many brilliant people leona lewis who's a big animal advocate people that really gone out of their way to help us do so much you know you've also done something that i don't even know that you've done and that is discuss suicide yes and my mom committed suicide when i was 18 and to see you who's so fab and so beautiful and on housewives talking about it that it never gets

talked about because people are so uncomfortable to talk about it and no one wants to like when when i was 18 this was like 12 years ago long time ago and no one would talk about it with me so to see you and it makes me emotional to even talk about but to see you come on Beverly Hills Housewives and discuss it, it was so empowering. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I understand why you feel emotional. I feel the same way. I don't think you ever get over it because I think suicide radiates so many feelings, so many feelings, so many questions, so many what ifs, should I have done this? Why did this happen? How did that? So many responsibilities, so many alternatives that maybe would have had a different outcome. Should I have spoken to him when I texted him the day before? Should I have? I know he didn't want

to kill himself. I know it was just a cry for help that went wrong. So we were 16 months apart. We were like, I met Ken through him, you know. And it was actually Ken had a bit of an emotional breakdown a few months after my brother died. Because we were sitting every, the first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas, the first birthday, the first everything. I'm sure you felt that when your mother died, the first birthday without her, the first. Brutal. Yeah, and I remember Ken suddenly literally crying at Thanksgiving,

and he said, because he was trying to support me, because it was my brother, and I suddenly realized it was his grief too. It was his friend. It was somebody who'd been part of our lives. I mean, he'd lived with us on and off in London and everything. And I'm so sorry for your mother to commit suicide because that is, I can't say it's worse or you can measure, but for a mother to commit suicide, you feel, and I know the boys, my nephews, my brother's sons, beautiful, beautiful boys. One

just graduated from Cambridge. They're both doing well they're both the image of my brother in different ways oh thank god for them the first day the first my first birthday after my brother died Pandora and Ken brought them out as a surprise to me and I didn't want to celebrate and he'd only been dead about three months. And when they walked in to surprise me, I just was like, thank God. So, yeah, it's very, very difficult to get over suicide. But, you know, I've been in suicide prevention with the Trevor Project, but it was more on behalf of LGBTQ because I always felt how awful. I never thought suicide would touch my

life in any shape or form but with LGBTQ I never understood how kids could just be thrown out on the street one in four kids were thrown out in the streets when they confront their parents if my kids came I think it's much easier path to be straight but if they came to me and they said I'm gay it wouldn't change the way I felt about them. It's, you know, you can't, you have to love your children unequivocally. I mean, so, you know, you see so many of our homeless youth being thrown out on the street because of their sexual orientation. That just does not seem right to me. So I was always involved with the Trevor Project for that but as a mother to commit

suicide that's what I think the boys felt and I hate speaking for them because they didn't bring themselves into my forum so to speak but I think you do think how could you give up on us because I would imagine as a daughter you'd think well don't you want to see me married don't you want to see my baby don't i i understand that it's very very difficult for the people that are left behind i think it's a very long grieving process i really feel for his two kids well it happened at a time too because we knew each other like we were all in high school 18 and it's a brutal feeling high school like they're not always kind and so it happens at a time when most kids don't most people don't know how to respond to that but you know it's she went through it and it's an isolating thing

because at the time nobody talked about it still to this I mean people are talking about it more but it's important to have people like Lisa it's so important to have people and I'm sorry that you're crying I just it's an emotional subject a good thing to I'm actually not just crying for myself I feel for his kids

I told you we're going to get to know each other pretty deeply yeah it's important that's why I think with that season when everyone attacked you and you were going through that it's a lot of the audience saw through that like we I think as audience members

we saw what you were experiencing and we were like they just didn't understand they just didn't understand remember when we're sitting on the stairs and I said I'm sorry I've been such a mess and I could not watch that scene you know I saw bits of it on social media I haven't watched any of Housewives since but I saw bits I saw the scene in the kitchen when you know the goodbye Kyle. But I was such a mess. I just started crying. And I remember, you know, when I said I just, I said I've been going through so much. The first time I'd seen Kyle, that whole scenario, the dog, it was the first time I'd seen Kyle.

And I think the first time you see somebody when you've been through something emotionally traumatizing, you automatically go, oh, I'm so sorry. So I was like teetering on the edge. I didn't want to see it the first so sorry. So I was like teetering on the edge. I didn't want to see it the first time on camera. So I was teetering on the edge anyway. Until it happens to you, and God forbid, of course, it's going to happen to many people listening. I mean, especially with what's going on in the world now, it's become more prevalent. But until it happens to you, I don't think you can understand. But empathy is something we should have. Even if it's not, we should really try and put ourselves on.

People say, I can't imagine. Well, yes, you actually can. You need to try and imagine. You know, you need to understand. And I was just emotional mess after that. And I wanted to be there for the boys my brother was cremated and I I didn't I didn't believe in cremation either so it's just it's a lot it's a lot of devastation but I think you said you were going to take a break from the show and I think it's I think it's

very commendable that you didn't and you went on the show and you talked about it because it's it's like Chrissy Teigen she just posted that she had a stillborn baby. And I think it's so important for people like her who's beautiful and thin and wealthy to post things like that because it normalizes it for women that have gone through it. And I think the same thing with suicide. No one talks about it. No one talks about stillborn babies. These are things people are experiencing, but they don't have anyone who's a public figure to sort of talk about it. So it's important. Yeah, absolutely. It's important. And when we live a public life, I think we have so many responsibilities on so many levels to be charitable, to be philanthropic, altruistic,

I think all those, but you're right to shine light on things. And for me, the most ironic thing is I've never talked about in Housewives. And this is what pisses me off more than anything. And I really don't talk about Housewives for the most part on the record since I left. I really haven't been that vocal about it. But I had been accused of being so British and so stiff upper lip and not sharing my feelings and there you have it i was a fucking broken mess and how was it dealt with by them you saw it but i think the way you left was was perfect i think that it was you left before the party was over and you have your hit show you're working on

other projects I mean I would have liked to have left with those relationships intact and also when you don't know I didn't know that the audience were going to side with me so suddenly you're in this murky quagmire of emotions and people all saying you're a liar the whole cast saying you're a liar and you're thinking what the? So you don't know how that's going to parlay out. You don't know how it's going to transpire. So you just left. I just thought, that's it. I'm not going to watch it. And I, listen, I had the best time. I love Bravo. I love evolution. I love working with people, but it was a mess. And people say, would I go back? I would never say never because it was fantastic. And I had a great time, but at that time it just wasn't, it wasn't something I needed to step away. Do you think you'll ever be friends with the other housewives

or do you think that time anything? I don't know. I seem to run into Kyle a few times. It always runs up to me. I just always how are you and i go good but i think when somebody doesn't have good intention for you where does that leave a friendship i want friends around me that have good intention for me let me ask you guys were cute friends though i have to say you were cute friends let me let me ask you this do you do you do you empathize at all with any of the other houses because so i think about it like this like you're obviously a breakout star on the show and you had other shows no million other things going on but new cast members come in and is there a pressure in any kind of way for them to kind of let me say like perform in a way so that they don't

necessarily maybe don't get cut and so like maybe they're doing things or saying things that they wouldn't necessarily do if the cameras were on in order to stay on the show like do you give any leeway for that or you're like i do understand what you're saying with that that we saw lisa rinner post something saying oh can you all please tell bravo that you want to see us being nice and and not having fights or something at the end of last season. But why? I would never do anything that I didn't want to do. It's a reality show. My reality is how I'm going to react. And if you're going to overreact or create something,

then we'll fool you. I don't think I was ever inauthentic. Maybe I said things that I was thinking just because I knew that it was obvious it was like the elephant in the room but no i don't think i've ever looked back and thought oh i just did that for the hell of it i know because you see some people come on and you're like are they just kind of playing that up because if they don't they're at risk of getting cut from the show like listen i can probably say this because i'm not a huge watcher but like maybe they're not as

interesting as other characters on the surface and so they're like oh shit i better do something to become interesting so i'm gonna stir up some drama or say something i think there is that pressure so to speak so do you give leeway for that or you're like i think when they all gang up on one person to me that's just not that's acceptable, really. Is it like a planned situation? I think there has been plans. Yeah, yeah. So that's what I've heard. But I just kind of thought, okay, when I said, no, get out, go,

when initially I was fighting the fight and I was saying, listen, that is not true. When you say to me, what does that say about somebody else? When you say, I swear on my children's life, my children are everything to me. They are my life. That's like your little pumpkin, that picture you showed me. If you said, Lisa, no, no, that's not true. I swear to you on your baby's life. There's no way in a million years would I not believe you. I'm a religious woman as well. I would never, you know, to me, that's just extraordinary. They kicked you when you were down too, with the grief. Yeah. I kind of don't even want to go back to it really now because I think they suffered a lot of backlash. I just didn't really want to comment on it because anytime I commented on it, it became a headline. When we

talk about all the ramifications of suicide and devastation, yeah, I take full responsibility for not being strong enough to complete the series. I was not in a space where I felt that I could go on my own mental health. I was crying every single day. It just wasn't a healthy situation. And for the first time in my life, I took antidepressants and I went to therapy. Never seen a therapist in my life. It always made me laugh when you fill in a form in America and they say, who's your family therapist? I'm like, we don't have one. It's just like, so, and I needed to see somebody because just the first

words that they said to me that I suddenly got it, they said, there is light at the end of the tunnel. With grief, you are walking towards a bright light. It will take your time to get there, but it will get better. With grief, you'll never get over it. You'll get used to it, but you will walk towards that light. And I remember thinking, okay, this overwhelming wallowing in my own kind of misery is going to go away and I'm a very proactive productive supportive optimistic person but I just couldn't see my way forward and I think suicide is a very different situation I think now I just encourage anybody if you see

anybody struggling even if you can't see them when you're isolated, reach out, FaceTime, talk to them. I think this has to be a recalibration as well of what's gone on in this world in the last year about putting things in perspective and really caring for each other. I think that's great advice. You know, I defend my wife a lot. People, both public people, and people, how do you think about this issue, this issue, this issue? But when you've had something as traumatic as suicide touch your life, and I haven't, but you have and my wife has, it's a massive perspective shift in the sense that things that other people think are big deals, once you've experienced the trauma that you both,

maybe it's not as big a deal to both. I always try to remind people about that, but my wife, it's like, you lose your job or you lose some money or you're stuck at home and you think that's the end of the world. It's the biggest deal. When you've lost your mother or you've lost your brother to suicide, those things are a walk in the park. And I think it's hard for people to understand that from people like you who have experienced those traumas and why maybe you don't think other things are as big of a deal as they do, because you've already experienced both of you such extreme pain that the other stuff that happens in life is not nearly as big of a deal yeah i mean my mother died a year later unexpectedly last year just

literally dropped dead i mean literally had a blood clot and had stomachache and within a few minutes she was dead so there was no resolution there was no with either of them there was just the four of us growing up so there was no kind of final moments with either of them but I didn't feel as devastated because it was a natural it was a blood clot it wasn't a natural death I mean it was something just very hard to detect and it went to her heart and lungs and she died within a few minutes but that wasn't as devastating even though you saw on Vanderpump Rules I left I went back to the funeral that wasn't as devastating because I think suicide has a different ripple effect I think there's so many questions of why would you do that and what could have done? Whereas when it's illness or a natural passing,

you just think is, and somebody is older, it's almost like a natural progression. So that had a very different effect for me. You and I are similar where we like to control our settings and we're used to having things in order. And so to have something that's so out of control, it brings up all the guilt and the guilt is the main emotion and guilt is it's it's it's the worst and i think that's why with what you're saying the way you lost your mother was different is it eliminates the guilt there's no guilt there's nothing that anyone could have done there with the suicide it's always it's always going to be what if like you said what if what if but you still i think have not not the right but i do still think as a daughter

i can understand your feelings of as a mother you brought me into the world how could you because even as a sister now that i have a baby i think i see the boys thinking how could you give up everything you're my parent you're supposed to be there I that's what I saw from the boys so I do understand I and the brain plays very funny tricks on you because you still imagine they're there for a long time after you go to call them or or I think if I go back to England then I think I always imagine my brother picking me up and it takes a long while to process when you've only known your life with them to actually realize they're not there anymore. And I think as a daughter, that must be taking it. She took away your safety net as well, you know. Yes.

And what I would say about anyone with suicide, if anyone has someone that they know, it's not to check on them right after the person died or a couple months later it's to check on them years later like for instance when his kids have kids that's a time that you should really be there for him because what that's going to do when they have kids is it's going to bring up all these things when I had a baby I felt you start to think all these things like oh my god I have this baby like how could she do this so exactly yeah that's exactly what and I think you just you need to your husband Michael you you need to validate those feelings because it is multi-layered and faceted the aftermath of that but I'm sure looking at you and especially now you look at your baby you know she was very proud of you and loved you very very much and I think that's

what a mother wants more than anything you know is to see success and even at 18 I'm sure you are like you are now I was on the bar I was Vanderpump Rules vibes but yeah but I'm sure she was proud of you you had a lot of cast members back then yeah

but um but you also have those feelings your daughter was not gonna have a grandmother my i get it my my nephews aren't gonna but your nephews have you yes very much and i've taken that very seriously i tell them i love them they're you know now it's taken a while now when i say i love you they'll actually tell me they love me back but before it's very British we don't say that whereas I'm kind of whereas now I go I love you and and they go yeah we love you too and how old are my brothers they're in their 20s they're 20 22 and no 23 and 28 yeah and in fact it's my brother's wife or ex-wife don't even separation from her while it's her birthday today i sent her flowers i remember waking up two o'clock in the

morning trying to get the florist because eight hours ahead and she said to me today you know what that means so much to me just i think it's little things when you really tell somebody you love them or people it makes it's so easy to do and yet i think we don't do it enough i think the people that we love in our life are also the way they make you feel about yourself i hope you're fucking writing this down for our anniversary you better like i can't wait to hear what you're fucking writing this down for our anniversary tonight. You're taking a really strong message. I can't wait to hear what you're going to say to me tonight. I can't wait for your whole speech and your monologue. Taylor, send me this recording before tonight. If a woman had given me a pumpkin, like that baby that I saw, the most extraordinary little pumpkin.

I mean, I just... I'll never be able to top that. I sent her a message yesterday for her anniversary saying like, you gave me the best thing that I'll ever get. Unless I maybe get another one or two. I'm sure you'll get another one. It'd be wrong if you don't because you have to procreate. I'll maybe do two more and then I'm done and I'm getting a full body makeover.

So get over it and start saving. I would love to know what your morning routine is. What time do you wake up? Do you have a thing where you go down and have tea? What are the specific details? Oh, wow. It's really simple. I'm not the best sleeper and I do not understand at all why we sleep less as we get older. I think we should sleep more. I don't get that because now I can wake up sometimes. Occasionally, I take half Xanax. I really don't take any drugs at all normally.

But occasionally, if I'm really tired, I'll take like half a Xanax. And as I say, two Advil to me are a big deal. But like every few months, I say, God, I could really do with a great night's sleep. Because I can wake up at 2, 4, 6. I hate that. I normally awake by 6, 6.30. I normally turn on the news or turn up my computer. We have a little kitchen

upstairs in the bedroom. So I get up, I get the fruit out of the fridge. I make the toast. I make the tea. We only drink tea. And then I have this nice silver tray. I bring it back to the bed. We always have dogs on the bed. But in COVID, I've actually been sneaking off to the guest bedroom some nights. And because there's a lot of energy on our bed when you've got three dogs and a husband that sometimes snores you know and you have to turn him over sometimes I sneak off into the mind you this guy where is he he's always next to me here he is he will follow me wherever I go but sometimes I sneak off into the guest bedroom which has been great but yeah I'm I'm and I'm, and I always work out. Well,

when I say work out, I go on the treadmill for an hour. It's not exactly, you know, it's a little bit uphill and, and I'm just, yeah, I'm pretty disciplined. I normally try and get myself together every day. And I obviously have been crazy about keeping this house together. So yeah, I'm pretty disciplined. If you could leave our audience with a motto that you live by, what would it be? Oh, love and laughter supersedes all. I think that's a big one. I think a lot of people take themselves too seriously. I think you've got to be able to laugh at yourself and laugh together as a couple

and realize that you do screw up. I think find a job you love and then you never have to work a day in your life. I mean, if this is your job full time, I mean, how can you not want to go to work? To me, that's what I love, things I do. Not complaining. Yeah. To find something you love to do, even if you can't pay your bills with it, then supplement it with another job. Like I'd have to, I think that's really important. Find something you're passionate about and that will drive you. If you really love, love to do that. So, you know, when people say, oh my God, how can you be so crazy? They use that word anal, which I hate, but they say, you know, how can you be so crazy

anal about the house? Well, it's because I'm passionate about it. So, you know, I can sit there for hours making things perfect. Yeah. I just have a love and zest for life. We're not here very long, you know, so have a zest for life, a passion for life. I'm going to make a prediction. You are going to do very, very well in the podcasting industry. This is definitely one of my favorite interviews.

Smart, charismatic, beautiful. You are a role model, really. Like, honestly, this is goals. Thank you for coming on. Oh my God, you're an exceptional young woman. I see that very clearly. It's very nice. I think absolutely very important now when you've got your baby.

He's okay. To keep your relationship intact. Never lose the respect for each other. You lose the respect for each other, you go down that path. It's a very hard path to come back from. So above all, keep that respect. And just that baby. I'm not going to let you in here next time unless you bring that baby with you.

We'll bring the baby. We'll use the baby as a bargaining tool to come on the mini horse. No, we're going to use the baby to bribe you. Diamond, rosé, and zaza. Before you go, pimp yourself out. Tell us all about your wine. I know you have a book. You have restaurants.

Just tell us everything. Oh, wow. I'm actually, God, I shouldn you have a book, you have restaurants, just tell us everything. Oh, wow. I'm actually, God, I shouldn't be talking about it, but I'm opening another restaurant in Las Vegas. We've just started work on that now and we've just been designing that. And again, I've been designing that with my partner, Nick Alain, who I does, go on to Vanderpumpalane.com and see all the beautiful lighting fixtures that we do and all the chandeliers and the driveway and it really wonderful, creative, beautiful things. So we're designing a new restaurant together. So excited about that, but that will be quite a few months away. It hasn't been announced yet. I've got some new show coming along, but I'm not allowed to talk about that.

I'm excited about just life kind of getting back to normal I want this vaccine out and I hopefully will be able to turn it around now LA seems much calmer thank god the riots and everything so the restaurants are open and my podcast yeah yeah I like listen to my podcast I think it's a great way to connect and don't expect perfection from yourself I think don't put so much pressure on think it's a great way to connect. And don't expect perfection from yourself. I think don't put so much pressure on yourself. It's okay to fuck up. You know, it's okay to laugh at yourself. It's okay. It's okay. And I love the fact that you're vulnerable enough to feel emotional because, you know, I certainly am. And that's okay too. When we feel

that deeply, it's okay to show it. You are amazing. What's your Instagram handle? I bet you it's at Lisa Vanderpump. Yes, it is. And I know your wines is at Vanderpump Rose. Or excuse me, it's at Vanderpump Wines. And we had the Rose today. You guys got to try it. It's dry. It's delicious. We had it in this beautiful crystal Baccarat glass that Michael's going to buy me for my anniversary. Well, listen, if this podcast doesn't work out for us and you need somebody to come clean the little mini horse stables. I'll live in the horse stables.

Thank you, Lisa. Thank you, Lisa. Thank you so much. Also, a giveaway. As always, if you want to win a few of my skincare favorites, all you have to do is tell us your favorite part of this episode with Lisa on my latest Instagram at the Skinny Confidential.

And of course, if this show brings you any kind of value, please rate and review the podcast on iTunes. It takes five seconds. We'll see you next time.