The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Misery Loves Company - An Argument For More Positivity

Episode Date: April 14, 2020

#260: In a time where the world is in quarantine and we are isolated from friends and family, Lauryn and Michael make the argument for more positivity. The hosts discuss how putting negativity into the world does harm not only to yourself but to those around you and the world as a whole. In this episode Lauryn and Michael discuss practical ways to stay positive during negative times and practices you can utilize to stay in a positive mindset.  To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by Talkspace. We all have something we want to change or improve about ourselves. Talkspace is the most convenient and affordable online therapy that can help make a lasting change in your life with access to thousands of licensed therapists. To get $100 off your first month on Talkspace visit Talkspace.com and use code SKINNY to get $100 off your first month now! This episode is brought to you by RITUAL Forget everything you thought you knew about vitamins. Ritual is the brand that’s reinventing the experience with 9 essential nutrients women lack the most. If you’re ready to invest in your health, do what I did and go to www.ritual.com/skinny  Your future self will thank you for taking Ritual: Consider it your ‘Lifelong-Health-401k’. Why put anything but clean ingredients (backed by real science) in your body? Produced by Dear Media 

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. at the vitamins and minerals they need on a daily basis. So Ritual created a smarter vitamin with the nine essential ingredients women lack most. Go to ritual.com slash skinny today to choose clean ingredients backed by science. Sign up now at ritual.com slash skinny. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to The Skinny Confidential, him and her. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to The Skinny Confidential, him and her show.

Happy Tuesday. Today you have a solo episode. On last week's episode, we asked you guys if you wanted to see more one-on-one from Michael and I, and the response was yes. So we're here. We're solo. You got me. You got Michael. Back to our roots. Pixie. Back in a home studio where it all started. Back in the home studio. This is fun though. I was talking to everybody on the team. They're like, oh my God, what's going on? We're going to be, everyone's going to be quarantined. How are we going to get the podcast up?

How are we going to get all these shows up and going? Cause you know, we have, you know, close to 40 shows now. And I was like, this is how it all began at home. I mean, don't go back and listen to episode one. It's horrendous. The sound quality is terrible. Hopefully it's a little bit better now, even though we're at home, but this is the back to the roots, back to basics.

I like going back to the basics though. I always think it's really important to have that slight edge and remember why you gained a platform from the beginning. I'm trying to think about that and reflect on that while I'm in quarantine. Like, go back to my roots a little bit, you know? Yeah, I've been here at the roots the whole time. You're at the roots. I'm at the roots.

Guys, we have an episode. It's going to be interesting to see how it's received. We're titling it Misery Loves Company. And the reason being is, you know, I'm somebody that kind of stays, and I'm not going to speak for long. She can jump in in a minute. I stay out of the kind of fray. I kind of let society kind of go the way it's going to go. And I observe and I sit back and, you know, some people get mad or they say, hey, I'd love you to take more of a stance. I'd love you to jump into the political conversation a little bit more. I'd love you to jump into the narrative. But for me, just as a general practice, you know, our lives are public already. And I try to keep some things

private, some opinions private. And so I stay out of the mix when it comes to subjects, but I feel compelled for the first time in a while to start to address something. And that is the amount of negativity that's going on right now in the world. I know I'm not, listen, I don't want to hear, oh my God, this is tone deaf. He's out of touch. He's not like, I'm a very aware of what's going on in the world. I employ a lot of people. My life's affected. We have a new affected.

We have a new baby. You know, my wife is postpartum. Like there's, there's a lot of things going on. I'm very well aware. I have an elder father. I have, you know, we have relatives, like everybody in the world's affected by this. It's not unique to you. Literally the entire world is affected. That doesn't change the fact that I can, I and other people can have an opinion about certain

things. And my current opinion on the way the world is, is that it's an extremely negative and unproductive place. Michael and I are seeing every single time we log on social media, just so much negativity. And I'm not even talking about towards us or towards any specific person. We're just seeing like, I'll give you an example. The other day, an influencer who I happen to really, really love posted a video of her in her car and she was wearing medical gloves. And in the video, she was talking about something super positive and she touched her face. Now, we don't know if she just put the gloves on, if she's had them on all day.

We don't know if she put them on midway through the day, whatever. But instead of people hearing her positive message, everyone went for what she was doing wrong. And I mean, you don't even know if she was doing that wrong because you don't even know if she just put on the gloves and didn't touch anything. So I'm just I'm watching on social media and i'm just seeing that everyone is so quick to point out what everyone's doing wrong well here's how i feel we're all at home we're all sick of being at home right we all want to get out we all want to go to restaurants we all want to go to bars we want to

go to music festivals we want to we want to do all these things we do not when one thing's going to be exciting for me like i can't wait everybody is ready for the first time to get back in the office. Everybody's gonna be on time. They're going to be on point. Like probably not Taylor, though. Probably not him. But we're all listen, we're all in the same boat. The world it's called a world pandemic, right? And it should be a time when people come together and say, hey, we need to uplift and support each other because there's a lot of people Lauren and I are fortunate enough that, you know, we're here, we're together with our baby. So like we have, we're around each other. There's a lot of people, Lauren and I are fortunate enough that, you know, we're here, we're together with our baby. So like we have, we're around each other. There's a lot of people that are listening to this

that are at home alone and they're depressed and they're sad and it's like, and it's very understandable. And so the last thing we need in my opinion right now is negativity. And there's so much of it going around. I get it. Listen, people are scared.

They're frustrated. They don't know if that what's happening. They're worried about their health. They're worried about their loved one's health. They're worried about their paycheck. They're worried about if loved one's health. They're worried about their paycheck. They're worried about if they're going to be able to support their bills and their rent. It's a very scary time. I get it.

What I'm trying to do right now is every day I'm trying to point out three positive things that people are doing right. And that could be anyone from my sister to my friends to an influencer who I respect. Instead of telling everyone what they're doing wrong, I'm trying to say what they're doing right. And it's shifting my perspective and it's making me feel more positive in quarantine I think that it's like more of like a grateful outlook than looking for what's wrong and finding someone who's you know tone deaf or who's touching their face with their gloves or who's doing something

they shouldn't be doing it's so much energy and it's so much energy out of our thermometers to be looking about what someone's doing negative or what someone's doing wrong. And personally, I think it's a fucking waste of time. It is a waste of time. And I'll tell you why. If you're sitting there and you're somebody that's, and it doesn't have to be listening to this podcast, it could be anything. If you're somebody, I'm going to tell you right now, people aren't going to like this. If you're sitting there and you're watching the news and you're watching social media and you're waiting for somebody to make a misstep or say something wrong so that you can be offended and jump into the fray and be angry, you are

losing in life. It is not productive. It is not helping you. It is not helping the person. It is not helping the world. It is literally just putting negativity and wasting time out into the world. It's not, the thing you should do instead is say, Hey, this person, whether whatever their opinion is, like I would, what I try to do every time I see something like left, right, middle, whatever it is, I try to, I try to be empathetic and say, okay, why does this person think this way? Right. And so I get it, you know, right now people are scared and they're angry and they're bored. And to me, that breeds a very negative space where you're sitting there. Everyone's on edge. They're irritated. They haven't seen the sunlight. I get it, but it's not helping you. It's not helping your loved ones. It's not helping anyone. You're actually hurting the world and you're hurting your

own wellbeing by waiting to be upset and offended and angry. Flip it, right? I have a lot of business partners and friends that are, you know, they, they get frustrated with me because I have no interest in engaging in negative conversation with them. Oh my God, what's going to happen to the economy? What's going to happen to the world? What's going to happen to the world? What's going to happen to our job? I don't know what's going to happen. None of us do. The only thing you can do is focus on what you can control today. Like that's the fact sitting there and crying and whining about how you hope it can be is never going to help anybody. And also, you know, if somebody is sitting there and they're trying to be positive and you come in like a big rain

cloud and start being sad and angry and look at, I'm offended here and I'm upset by this and this comedian did this and this influencer did that stop like stop dragging people into your into your misery like there's a lot of people that are going to listen to this and say fuck this I don't like that him saying this and I'm a mad that he's saying it's triggering me like if you're sitting here and you're and you're one of those people like stop for a second how are you helping I think too, that this podcast is for people that want to optimize their life, right? They want to improve in every area and they want to be the best version of themselves. And like I always say, take what you like and leave what you don't. But I think it would be remiss if Michael and I did not bring up that we're seeing a lot of negativity on social media. I don't think it would be real

and authentic to our human experience to not bring it up. In saying that, I also want to make sure that we address that there is, for all the negative people, there are so many positive people that are doing so many amazing things. That's what I want to flock to. Well, that's what I want to amplify. I want to flock to that as a person, as an influencer. Like I want to go towards the positive. My fear is that we're getting to a place in this world that where the negative voices are drowning out the positive ones. I can, you know, maybe this is just in our own choosing. I choose to try to be around a lot of positive people. And for me, I want those people to be more vocal. And I want them to talk about the good they're putting out in the world, the positivity they

see. Listen, again, this is not tone deaf. We get what's going on. I understand we're in a pandemic. I understand a lot of people are sick and dying and they're scared, but that doesn't mean that we have to scream negativity from the rooftops and look to bring each other down. Like as a society right now, we should be looking to do all we can to uplift each other. Little break to tell you about something that I am very serious about right now. And that is ritual. My my vitamins I am not forgetting my vitamins right now okay you know with everything going on I am being a little bit maybe obsessive about having my vitamins every single day and the one that I take and the one that I've talked about for the last year and a half is ritual so after I gave birth I continued doing the prenatals for a

while and now I'm back on the essential for women. This one specifically has a lot of vitamin D in it, which is something that I need. And after reading all about the immune system, I was up very late at night reading all these different things you can do. I found out that D3 is something that you really want in your body for your immune system. So not only do I need it, I feel like everyone needs D3 right now. This is a serious vitamin that a lot of people are lacking on. The reason that I like Ritual is they're obsessively researched. So if you go on their site, everything is broken down. It's

streamlined. It's very easy to read. You get all the information. There's no like shady additives or mysterious ingredients. It's just straight into the point. You're getting your nutrients. You know where they came from. You know why ritual chose it. They basically call this traceability. And traceability, when it comes to a vitamin, in my opinion, is extremely important. I'm a fan that they're vegan certified,

non-GMO, gluten-free, allergen-free. And also, they have a delayed release, no nausea design capsule. So it's gentle on an empty stomach. I just prefer to take it after I eat. You could do whatever you want here. I think an important thing to note here that I haven't talked about a lot is that 40% of women cannot properly utilize the synthetic form of folate.

This is why Ritual uses folate in its absorbable form to help women cover their needs. Daily changes can lead to big results. So start small today. Ritual is offering all TSC, him and her listeners, 10% off your first three months. Try it out, satisfaction guaranteed. Go to ritual.com slash skinny to start your ritual today. That's 10% off during your first three months

at ritual.com slash skinny. You will feel minty fresh in the morning or after your intermittent fast whatever you decide to do check it out let me know what you guys think drop into my dms and with that we'll get back into the show i want to read a quote from my friend ingrid delamar kenny she wrote a really powerful caption and it resonated with me and i hope it resonated with you she said cancel culture is all the rage right now. If we see a millionaire celebrity who is giving a million dollars, they're slammed for being able

to give way more. If a beauty blogger posts her makeup routine, she's punched with people are dying and you're doing your makeup. If a public person doesn't talk about the donation she's made, she's criticized for not doing enough. But if she speaks up about donating, then she's vain and using the charitable action for publicity if a health professional speaks up about the benefits of a product for the immune system they're slammed for disgustingly trying to profit from a pandemic she says holy shit this is a landmine for content creators what is one supposed to do i mean she's and she says this a pandemic should spread kindness and support, not negativity. We don't need any more negativity.

Like enough is enough. It's, it's just not helping. And the biggest thing is if you're sitting there like, well, I don't care. I'm going to, I'm upset. And I want to share like, fine. If that's what you want to do, do it, go do it alone. Stop spreading it into the world. I can't, I can't stress enough how unproductive and unhelpful it is to constantly be looking to

bring people down and be negative. And listen, again, this is not going to be a popular sentiment. If you're sitting there and you're somebody who gets triggered by things that are said online or by the news, or somebody says something that offends you, or you get upset, put on your fucking helmet, right? God damn it. Put on your helmet. Since when is life supposed to be comfortable? Since when are people supposed to say and do things that

make you comfortable? There's a million things that people say and do that I don't agree with that make me uncomfortable. That doesn't mean I'm going to go and scream at them and go and rage about it. Like it says more about you, the way you respond to things than it does about the other person. And you know, like if we have a daughter now, and I hope that I teach her these things, like I hope that I can say, listen, girl, hopefully you're strong enough as you grew up to understand people are going to say things that you're not going to agree with. People are going to do things that might upset you. People are going to do things that may seem rude or crude, but it says more about you as an individual, how you react

to it than it does about them. And that's what I'm trying to point out to people. It's like, how are you, how is it helping you to be. And that's what I'm trying to point out to people. It's like, how are you, how is it helping you to be so triggered and upset? I'm going to cancel this person. I'm going to be mad with this. Like it doesn't, it's not serving you. And if you want, if you forget about everybody else, it is not helping or serving you at all. I think that this whole podcast is built on,

you know, like I said, bettering yourself, but it's also built on bringing a bunch of different opinions into one arena and hearing a bunch of different opinions. And I hope that what that does is it makes everyone open to hearing everyone's, you know, sort of different story. The same goes for social media. Everyone has a different story. Everyone has a different experience. I think like Michael said, we all could be less judgmental and more open-minded and I hope that out of this episode that's what we're putting into the world which is like let's all try a little harder not to be so judgy on each other and understand that this is such a sensitive time right now

and a lot of people are doing their best there's no handbook on how to handle a pandemic. So, you know, I just hope that, like I said, that this podcast is putting out positive vibes into the ether. Yeah, nobody, listen, there's, you know, if you read Stoicism, there's some passages that I can't remember off the top of my mind, but it basically points out that it's very rare that people set out with ill intention, right? It's very rare that people set out and say, like, I'm going to do this to really hurt people. Listen, there's some sick individuals in the world that actually do that. But the high majority of people, they share their opinions, they share their beliefs, they put, you know, they say something, and it's not with the intention of

hurting, it's the intention of like expressing themselves and putting something out into the world that they think is positive. I think I really truly believe that that's the majority of mankind. Some people aren't going to agree with that. And, and so what I try to do at all times, say, okay, this person, this individual has this perspective. Why do they have that? Did something happen? Are they, what happened in their childhood? Are they okay at home? Is their job? Okay. Is there, are they okay in their relationships? And from there, like it's come, I'm trying to do my best to come from a place of understanding. So before I go into a rage and get angry and listen, I haven't always been the best at this.

I had, you know, definitely not when I was younger, but as I've gotten older and as I've worked with more people, men and women, I try to always look at it from the other side of the coin. I try to always look at the, the someone's opinion and their beliefs from, from their perspective. And by doing that, I can reserve a place of empathy,

empathy and sympathy to say, okay, I may not agree. I may not understand, but I get why they may believe that. I want to talk about some positive things that we're doing in quarantine that maybe can help someone out there that's feeling stuck. So, you know, just to go off on a tangent, some things I'm doing that have really, really helped is I can't pronounce the guy's name. I always pronounce it wrong.

Wim Hof. Wim Hof, okay. You keep calling him William. Okay, Will, William. Wim, Wim. Okay. Like win, but Wim. Okay, Wim Hof has this amazing breathing exercise

that I have been doing every morning that is fucking life-changing. I found it randomly on Instagram and I've been doing it every single morning. I made Michael do it with me and it's really, really helped me start the day on the right foot. I can't even explain how much breath work is setting the tone for me right now.

Obviously, I'm trying to meditate with headspace. I think everyone should be doing that right now. If you can open a window and get some light into your room while you're doing that, that's even better. To wind down at night, I'm using CBD. So I'm using like a couple drops under my tongue. I like the brand Pellicure. And then I'm using my gold pen. Sometimes it's like this little gold CBD pen. And I feel like CBD really helps me a lot. A lot of you guys have asked me if you can use CBD during breastfeeding. I was okayed by it by my doctor, but I don't want to put out a blanket statement.

So definitely ask your own doctor. And you know, some other things we're doing is like, Michael and I are really trying to write down things we're grateful for. We're trying to talk about things that are positive in our life. We're trying to really look at the good things as opposed to the bad things. And I think once you practice that, because it's like a muscle, you start to see good things in everything as opposed to the bad things. Does that make sense? practice that, because it's like a muscle, you start to see good things and everything as opposed to the bad things. Does that make sense? Some of the things that I'm

doing, I'm doing all those things that Lauren mentioned and trying to, you know, I think gratitude is the biggest thing, being grateful that we have the opportunity to continue to live on this planet, being grateful that we have the opportunity to live in an age where, you know, fortunately during this pandemic, there's still, you know, there's, you can still get groceries, you can still surf online, you could still work. There's a, there's a million things that in past, you know, listen, talk about the bubonic plague and things from, from past or the Spanish influenza, like, and I'm not comparing these situations, but a lot of the individuals that lived through those times didn't have nearly the amount of resources, just being grateful that we have

these types of resources. And also the biggest thing is, and again, this may not be popular, but just getting rid of toxic people. Anytime someone comes to me right now, whether it's a coworker, a friend, honestly, even family members, some family members are going to hear this and be pissed. I'm cutting them out. I'm saying, I don't, I don't have time to entertain negativity. It doesn't work. And if you're following me and you're a toxic person, like I'd rather have way less followers of positive people. Like I I'd rather like everyone unfollow me who's toxic. I don't want to talk. I don't want to talk to the community.

If you're going to be toxic in the skinny confidential Facebook group, like just leave. Like it's, I just don't want to create a toxic platform. It's not fun. It's not fun for me. It's not fun for other people. Um,

I want to be in a positive space. I'll tell everybody a story. And this was before all this happened. I meet every single person that comes to work at your media. Every individual, it doesn't matter if they're in management or if they're just starting or in the beginning. I meet every single person that comes in the door. I don't look at a college resume. I don't care about where you worked in the past. I don't care about what you say your skill set is. All of those things have been probably vetted before. And what I'm going through is a gut check. I want to see, is this person a cultural fit? Are they

going to be bringing positive energy excitement? Uh, you know, are they going to be being collaborative? Are they going to bring something to the culture that we're missing or that will enhance the culture? And if I sit down and I meet someone, it's like, Hey, this person's out for themselves or they're a little bit negative, or they're going to get in the way of what we're all doing here. I don't hire them. In addition to that, there's been times like there was one day when, when I fired two people back to back within five minutes and guess what? They were great at their job. They were executing, they crushed, they hit all their goals and everything, but they were toxic to the culture. They were constantly negative, constantly bringing people down.

And I looked at it and I said, you know what? We don't need this in the organization. It's going to hurt the business in the short term to lose these two people. But in the long run, keeping a positive culture is going to be effective and boom, boom, fired in both two days. And it's rare that I do something like that. But I just, I want people to understand how much greater life is when you spread positivity and you're around positive people compared to when you're around negativity all the time. It's just, you want to repel that.

Like it's a gross, you don't want to be around it. Boy, oh boy, do I have something fun to talk with you guys about. That is Talkspace. This is literally the perfect time to use Talkspace. I can't think of a better time. If you're like me, and like most people, taking action sometimes can feel impossible without the right support. Now we have the time with quarantine, and this is where Talkspace comes in. So Talkspace is this online therapy that's convenient, it's affordable, and you can really make lasting change. But not only make lasting change, you can work on yourself. Pretty much what you get to do is you send your licensed therapist a text, an audio, a picture, or a video message from your phone or

computer, whatever you need, and you don't have to worry about appointments or deal with extra commutes or deal with being in person with anyone. You can do it all virtually. I mean, I can't think of a better platform to be using in this climate. What we love about Talkspace is that it matches you with a licensed therapist based on your needs and preferences. They have thousands and thousands of licensed therapists trained with over 40 specialties. So if you have something very specific you want to work on, you know, there's still someone there right on the platform for you. They have thousands and thousands of licensed therapists trained with over 40 specialties.

So if you have something very specific you want to work on, you know, there's still someone there right on the platform for you. The good thing about Talkspace is that once you're matched with that person, you can begin therapy the very same day. And again, I feel like I've talked to a lot of TSC readers that are feeling depressed or anxious or I'm seeing it in the group. Or just isolated. Yeah, or just isolated. This is a really good way to talk it out. You could analyze dreams. You could dig into painful memories.

It's great for developing coping skills or dealing with stress or anxiety or depression or just simply getting accountability to achieve your goals. Sometimes with all this time on our hands, we can actually be less productive. So having someone to be able to talk to virtually right now is very, very amazing. The bottom line is that life can be hard and Talkspace wants to give more of us the support we need at a price we can afford.

As a listener of the Skinny Confidential, him and her podcast, you can get $100 off your first month on Talkspace. To match with your perfect therapist, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code skinny to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the show. That's skinny and Talkspace.com. With that, let's get back to the show. This podcast has been a long time coming. I think that we are if we're going to take a stance,

it's that we want to cultivate positivity. And I think that the way to do that is to start the conversation. And that's why we wanted to open up this narrative. For everyone that is positive and hanging in there right now, we appreciate you. We see you. We hear you. We love DMing with you, commenting. It's awesome to have a community that is full of so many people that are grateful and have a really positive outlook on life. Well, and listen, I want to

be empathetic to the people that are me right now. There may be in a negative headspace and they're scared and they're hurt and they're upset. And like, I get that. I understand that's where you are, but what I'm saying is take, take every individual out of it. Just think about yourself in this instance. You're not helping yourself by staying in that negative headspace. You're hurting yourself. You're hurting your long-term happiness. You're hurting your long-term productivity. What I'm trying to get people in the mindset of is like, okay, yes, all of these terrible things exist right now. There's a lot of hardship right now. There's a lot of bad things going on. Sitting there and whining about it and crying about it and being offended by it. And having a notepad waiting to jump on someone to tell them what they did wrong.

It's a cancer. It spreads through you and it spreads through society. And that's what's happening. And, you know, like we've had people write in and say, hey, Michael, we don't like that. You know, maybe you've called out the media. Listen, I'm not calling out every individual that works in the media. There's a million great people in media. Dear Media is in the media, right?

I just think that there's been a majority of people spreading negativity. And so what I've, what I've said, and listen, I sit back and I observe and I watch, and I said, there's a lot, there's some very positive voices right now that are in the space. And there's also a lot of really, really negative voices that are overtaking the conversation. And what I'm trying to do here is say, listen, there are a lot more positive people out there that are working every day and trying to get better and trying to make people feel better. Those are the voices that we should showcase and reward. And you should, we should drown out the negative voices of society. I mean, that's just, that's just what I think we should do. Uh, just to share to my own personal experience that I've been going through

with this quarantine. Um, it's, I'm experiencing postpartum anxiety. Like I have anxiety that I never had before I had a baby. And it's gnarly. It's like I described it on my Instagram. It's like, you know, that feeling of when you're about to crash into a car and like that, that rush of anxiety goes through your body. That's how it feels. And it's not like a long day of anxiety. It's like little spurts of anxiety. And I think a lot of new moms experience depression or anxiety. So I think that, like Michael said, we just have to be mindful that everyone is going through this experience differently. And there's no right way to do it. But again, the more positivity and optimism that we can breathe into it, the better.

And what, you know, it's been difficult for us because listen, I'm a man and I don't necessarily relate or understand postpartum. You know, we do our best, like Lauren and I strategize and talk to each other all the time, as you can imagine. And this is an issue where I'm like, okay, I don't know what to do. We had Gabby Bernstein on the show a while back and talked all about postpartum, but you know, as a man and I, and I wish I was better, but like, we're not necessarily the ones that are equipped to navigate or understand what's going on, especially as a new, and I wish I was better, but we're not necessarily the ones that are equipped to navigate or understand what's going on, especially as a new father for the first time.

And I think that that's been, I told Michael this the other day when we were on a walk, I think that that's been a hard thing for me because I'm so used to talking with him and talking out my problems and talking with him about what's going on in my life or business or whatever. And he's so good at giving me feedback, but this is one thing that he just can't relate on. Because he's a man and he has a

dick. It's, it's why this conversation about negativity popped up, because obviously, my wife going through this right now, and you going through this, and, you know, and then with the COVID and the quarantine, that's obviously not helping it with a new baby, obviously worrying about her and worrying about you. And then every time you you turn around there's something negative going on on social there's some you know either some people are not taking it seriously at all it's like you know they're just like oh whatever and then there's some people that are there's so negative and there's it's very little like there's very few positive stories and there's very few like positive sort and i think again that's what people need right now we need to come together

as a society as a world society not just as Americans, as a world society and help lift each other up. There's never, you know, in our lifetime, none of us have lived through a pandemic. Nobody knows what to do. Nobody knows how to navigate. Nobody knows how to be sensitive. Nobody, nobody like, listen, everybody's out of touch. Nobody knows what to do. We are just trying to do our best. And I think that there should be a little bit more empathy for people saying, you know what, we're all in this together. This sucks. Like, you know, but we're going to get through it narrative as opposed to, Hey, that person didn't do this right. Or that influencer didn't do that. Or that celebrity. It's not, it's not helping the

world. You're, you're actually putting harm into the world by doing that. And I want to call people out that are like, I just do. I probably am. If I see it. It's so funny. Cause I always have lunch at the same time and I will sit down and read the daily mail. It's like my trash tabloid that I go and read and I go in on Snapchat and read the daily mail for like the last two years, all the time when I eat. And I started to notice when I was eating lunch, my cortisol was up and I always try to keep my cortisol down when I'm eating. And it's because I was reading all these negative stories. The Daily Mail was just posting negative story after negative story after negative story. And I

checked myself. I'm like, what am I doing? I'm sitting here. I'm spending my lunch break. I'm spending 15 minutes just poisoning my brain with negativity. It took a shift. The media with the Daily Mail took a shift. And I had to check myself. And I think that a really good way to check yourself is when you're feeling that cortisol or when you're feeling that negativity, step away from it, delete the app. Now, when I eat my lunch, I want to read a book. I want to read something positive. I don't want to read article after article after article that's depressing. So I think that it's also important like when you're just going throughout your day to see where those negative triggers are and to just eliminate them.

So before we wrap up, I just want to, this is a lot of the internal conversation that Lauren and I have had together, not on this podcast, just together while we've been in quarantine. And the decision we made is to say, okay, this is a rare opportunity for us to be at home with our daughter, for us to take a second, take a beat, reset, to actually sit down and strategize. What do we want out of life? What do we want to produce? What do we want to make? What do we want to build? It's the same opportunity for everybody else. You're at home. You have time. You're not going to get this time back. You can read, you can reset.

You can think about a positive way that you can have a positive impact in the world. You can think about what is that project that I've been putting off because I've been so busy and slammed with all my day-to-day work. And now, you know, now there's the opportunity to jump in. This is the time. Get off social media, stop engaging in the negative narrative, start thinking, how am I going to come out of this? Because this will pass, I promise you, don't know how long, but it will pass. How do I come out of this better, stronger, faster, smarter, more positive, ready to put more out into the world like that's the that's the question and if you're sitting there and you're contributing saying like the only thing i can do right now is contribute to a negative narrative you're going to come out of

this more miserable than you went into it and that's all i'm trying to stress to people like this is a time to reset and to get your priorities straight and to say listen i'm going to be a force for positive change in the world i'm not going to be a force for negative change. So I also wanna say, if you're feeling bored in quarantine, definitely check out the Skinny Confidential Book Club on my blog, because I have so many books that I recommend. And reading a book is my favorite way to fight any kind of boredom. With that, we're gonna end this on a positive note.

So the Skinny Confidential team and I wanted to get creative on a way that we could spread some positivity. So what we're thinking is we wanted to make some beauty boxes for nurses. So I'm thinking like skincare and makeup and just a bunch of goodies in a pink cheeky box for all the amazing nurses out there. So if you're a nurse or you know a nurse, let me know on my latest Instagram. And we're going to pick a bunch of people to send really cute boxes to. Just like as an appreciation because the nurses, I mean, what you guys do, there's nothing like it. As always, we really appreciate you guys listening to the show.

Zaza just woke up from her nap and the dogs need to be fed. So we got to run. But make sure you've rated and reviewed the skinny confidential him and her show on itunes because every week we do a giveaway this week we're giving away the cutest new tsc pop socket it's like three hearts all stuck together and says tsc it's on my phone right now you will love it all you have to do to win is tell us your favorite part of this episode on my latest Instagram at the skinny confidential and someone from the team will drop into a bunch of your inboxes and send you this new hot, cute pop socket.

As always, thank you so much for listening and we'll see you next time. This episode is brought to you by a ritual. You guys know I'm a human guinea pig and I'm still here taking ritual and loving it. Okay. It's filled with iron, vitamin E, magnesium, folate, and omega-3. Kind of everything. It's made in the USA without synthetic fillers. 95% of women do not get the vitamins and minerals they need on a daily basis. So Ritual created a smarter vitamin with the nine essential ingredients women lack most. Go to ritual.com slash skinny today to choose clean ingredients

backed by science. Sign up now at ritual.com slash skinny.