The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Patti Stanger - How To Attract & Keep The Right Partner For You

Episode Date: June 5, 2024

#709: Patti Stanger is the star and executive producer of “The Millionaire Matchmaker.” An experienced third-generation matchmaker, Stanger founded her company, the Millionaire’s Club, in January 2000. Today she joins us to discuss how to break childhood wounds and have a healthy relationship, how to attract the right partner, and the self-work you need to do in order to be a perfect partner.   To connect with Patti Stanger click HERE To connect with Lauryn Bosstick click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE To Watch the Show click HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Head to the HIM & HER Show ShopMy page HERE to find all of Michael and Lauryn’s favorite products mentioned on their latest episodes. This episode is brought to you by Armra ARMRA Colostrum strengthens immunity, ignites metabolism, fortifies gut health, activates hair growth and skin radiance, and powers fitness performance and recovery. Visit www.tryamra.com and use code SKINNY at checkout for 15% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Branch Basics The Branch Basics Premium Starter Kit will provide you with everything you need to replace all of your toxic cleaning products in your home. It’s really a no-brainer. Go to branchbasics.com and use code SKINNY for 15% off their starter kit and free shipping. This episode is brought to you by Ritual Start a daily ritual that you can feel good about. Visit ritual.com/SKINNY to receive 25% off your first month of Ritual.   This episode is brought to you by Squarespace From websites and online stores to marketing tools and analytics, Squarespace is the all-in-one platform to build a beautiful online presence and run your business. Go to squarespace.com/skinny for a free trial & use code SKINNY for 10% off your first purchase of a website domain. This episode is brought to you by Lipton Green tea is a great ally for wellness and a simple way to up your everyday healthy habits. Try the new Lipton Green Tea! This episode is brought to you by Sunday Lawn Care Sunday is available at Target, Walmart, and Lowe’s stores nationwide. Use code SKINNY20 for 20% off your custom lawn plan on getsunday.com Produced by Dear Media

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to The Skinny Confidential, him and her.

One of the things women have a problem with, this is the main problem, okay? Pay attention, get a notebook. Women were taught to please and not speak up for what we want. This is why abortion's going away. But the point is, we are so afraid to rock the boat. I was the same way. If he yelled at me, I'd go silent instead of saying, hey, I'm not going to scream at you, but why did you do that? Why are you being mean to me?

What is going on? What's driving your bus right now that you're taking it out on me? And so women are afraid to speak up and say, I want this. I don't want to do that. And they go with the flow. Hold on to your seat, Patti Stanger. The Millionaire Matchmaker is on the show today, and we are getting into it. We're going to talk about the main reason why relationships don't last, how to become more self-aware of who you choose to date, the importance of working on yourself before you date, manifestation techniques, practicing gratitude, the key to healthy relationships, and cheating. Trust me, we go there in this episode. And what I like about Patti is she's like the same energy as Michael and I. She just tells it how it is. Patti,

welcome to the show. This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her. This is so wild to me to be able to ask you this because I'm such a fan. You're single now. What's your type? Tell us. I want you to get so granular. I thought I was really in love with the last one. And I was.

It's just that we had some issues that were deal breakers. And I still love him. Okay. But he's with somebody else now. And we went out for almost a year. And it was the most consistent because he had a huge family. He was Catholic. I thought you were going to say huge something else. No, thousand. And I loved his children and it was like a package deal and it was amazing. So I want somebody family oriented.

I love the Dilfs, you know, dads I love to blank. Yeah. And I love a guy who's been married, had kids because I'm older. Okay. And I love those tall, all American types, you know, good job, money in the bank. I don't need the billionaire in the private plane. I like to go on vacation once or twice a year. But I'm not crazy. I work, too. I make money. So I just want somebody who I'm compatible with, who likes to do the things that I like

to do and have great sex and great passion. I think that that is a pretty goddamn good list of things. And kind. Nice and kind. I've had some really bad guys who are really mean. They don't start out that way. Like you'll get nine months in and you're like, wait, who's this person? They just change the personality. So and I'm consistent. Even though we're Gemini's, you and I, I'm really consistent with who I am. I'm not somebody who, how can I say it, changes.

I never really change. So it's like you get what you get when you see me do you have trouble with how driven and the brand you've built and you've been on television finding a man that's comfortable with your success so my last boyfriend at the end of the breakup said I was intimidated by your success but I never knew it because I was really in awe of what he did he did something in the healthcare industry and he didn't make as much money as me but he was helping humanity and I'm super metaphysical and super spiritual and I want to help humanity. So that was a big deal. But the one thing that got me is like, I didn't know he was intimidated. He was like a total Scorpio alpha. So how would I know that if you don't say something to me, but I'm very different. So I go on a date,

I'm chatting with you. This is business mode. We have two modes, Gemini's. And then I switched to quiet, take my energy down. I'm very sensual. I'm completely different is business mode. We have two modes, Geminis. And then I switch to quiet, take my energy down. I'm very sensual. I'm completely different. It's like I have two personalities. You're a true Gemini. I'm double Gemini. I bet you, you like to be alone too.

As outgoing as you are. I need deep compression time. Because you have to recharge to give it your all. Right. You know what I mean? Doing what you've done over the years in putting couples together, are you able to know rather quickly? Yes.

Yeah, okay. I mean, I'll look at the... Like, when Travis and Taylor got together, everybody was really freaking out that it was a publicity stunt. I'm like, she's loaded. She doesn't need to do publicity. And she had been burned so many times.

You know, you go with Joe, and it's like, what, five, six years, and he doesn't give her the ring. You got, you know, Jake Gyllenhaal leaving her at the party. It doesn't go to the party. Like it was so much bad shit one after the other. But who's she going to meet at that level? Think about it. When you're that rich, who do you meet? OK, someone either has a reason they're dating you or what? To get a guy who's the biggest thing in his industry. He's climbing. He's at the top. She's at the top.

It was a win-win. And he wanted her. He's a Libra, which is really unusual because they're really passive. She's a Sag. And he wanted her. And he said, I'm going to go and get my friendship bracelet, get ready. And she dissed him. She didn't know he was there. The cousin connected it. I knew right away this was going to be real. If he doesn't propose by July, I will be mad at him because it'll be a year. With everything that you've seen, what are the things that stand out as huge red flags? If someone's listening and they're in a marriage, they're not happy. What are those red flags that you see immediately? So the Gottman Institute is the best place to study. They know that resentment is the reason people get broken up. If you are not heard, your feelings are not heard.

Let's say you're having a really bad day at work and you come home and you're flustered, especially as a woman, and a man usually wants to fix, but you say, hey, will you listen to me? And he discounts your feelings. Get the fuck out. The same thing with the man.

If the man comes in and you're like, oh, you're overblown this and you start talking about something else. If you cut people off and you don't about something else if you cut people off and you don't let them feel their feelings and express it because they won't feel close to you if you don't listen both sides of the street gay straight pink polka dot it doesn't matter lauren you didn't listen to me the other day okay but what if your husband talks for 45

hours i know you're gonna do the thing cut to the, but you can't say cut to the chase. You can say to him, I only have limited capacity for 10 minutes. Do you think in 10 minutes you could express what you're feeling and I will listen and if you'd like me to help, I will help you. Do you think we're going to work out? I don't know. Who knows? You're going to have another baby. I think you need two

because I don't like three even amounts. You like even amounts? Yeah. Adopt a bunch of kids. Then you don't have to like even amounts you like even amounts yeah adopt a bunch of kids oh then you don't have to worry about your body it's so hard right or surrogacy you could do surrogacy oh I mean you know what the surrogacy thing what threw me off is when Khloe Kardashian came out with the boy vocal about how hard that journey was like I don't think people well I'm adopted so it's hard for me to say that because I think a kid a healthy kid is a healthy kid any way you get them you're adopted and did you end

up meeting your own parents no real parents I didn't my mom died by the time I found her biologically and it was very hard because the records are sealed so now with ancestry.com I just found out my dad was an orphan coming from Romania and became one of the most famous composers for Frank Sinatra. Best friends were Robert Duvall and Robert De Niro. And I haven't, he wrote a book. I just got his book and now I want to call Robert Duvall and Robert De Niro. It was all these famous people like Paddy Chayefsky. He hung in the IT crowd and he wrote a book about it.

Wow, you found that out through Ancestry? Ancestry, because whenever you take a blood test, and sometimes it goes into the database, you know, the global database, you will find out. So somebody from his side was looking for me or somebody else and it crossed, the DNA crossed. It's all about the saliva or the blood,

whatever they're using these days. And did the parents that you grow up with that you call your parents, are they amazing? No. My dad was an alcoholic, a really bad one. And my mom stayed too long at the party. So it was a traumatic childhood. But my mom and my grandmother were matchmakers. So my grandmother fixed my mom up with their first husband and he cheated. It was like Mrs. Maisel. And then after that, my mom said, my grandma said, I'm going to teach you how to find love. So she went on a cruise with a date she didn't like. You know how they used to smoke cigarettes and light each other's cigarettes. She's at the bathroom and my father lights up the cigar and she says, I'm going to, he goes, I'm going to marry you. Probably said it to every

woman that came out of the bathroom, but he did. He married her like three months later. So your entire childhood was traumatic. You were watching matchmakers in front of you. And my aunt, my aunt was a big one in New York City, but they didn't do it for money. It was a time, you know, in the 60s was just beginning the divorce. But in the 70s, it was Bob Carroll, Ted and Alice. They were swinging the people and they were trying, sleeping with their secretaries and leaving their wives. It was a whole time of divorce. People did not expect this. You got married, you thought it was for life. You made a vow. So who were they going to do? They went to the rabbi in my situation. I was raised Jewish, but I don't practice. Went to the rabbi and then the rabbi said, can you help

me fix these poor women up? They're being left. Their husbands are leaving for their secretaries. So was matchmaking even like a thing? It sounds like they almost like invented the profession. Matchmaking was big in the Jewish religion and other religions too. Especially Indian. They use it and they use astrology, the Hindu religion. If you had a small community, you went to the rabbi for help. And the Rabbitson, which is the wife of the rabbi, would be like, we got to have a mixer. We got to have a Shabbat, which is Shabbat with singles. Like they had to do things. And my grandmother was really good at connecting. She was like a social butterfly at the country club. When you say your childhood is traumatic, do you mean because of your father? My dad, it was a very unstable presence.

And so now we know epigenetics wise, ancestral trauma. When we go into relationships, we take this like when the mother is having a child and she is not feeling that she's on the run, she's on drugs, something is going wrong. That child is picking up the messages of fight or flight. And that's what we're learning now. We're learning that talk therapy is not going to get us that far. So we have to learn how to meditate. We have to learn how to, as we were talking before, change your vibration. That's what Dr. Dispenza is doing. Like they're Lipton. And my favorite is Dr. Tara. You should have Dr. Tara on your show. She is from the source. She is the bomb. She's teaching us

that our brain doesn't know what's imagined, which is real. So if our brain doesn't know that, we can program our brain to believe our imagination is real, but the brain gets afraid, afraid. So, because they're always in fight or flight from the DNA from the caveman area. We've got to overturn the program. So you've got your brain, which is the hardware, and your mind, which is the software. And we're learning now that this is what therapy

should have been for a thousand years, that we can change. And then when we change, we attract better people. And don't you, like what i'm hearing and this is how i feel i i feel like i've done my own therapy within through meditation like that's amazing like i feel like i absolutely erase your vibration it's do you do it too michael i practice i try i'm working more and more on it so i do tm what kind do you do i do joe dispensa but i i'm obsessed with louise hay oh i've always been

louise hay i'm a louis when i get sick she's my goddess okay now we're we're this is we're fast friends i've been with louise hay and florence shin and neville goddard and all the old timers you need to write all these people down i don't know who you're talking about so neville goddard is the father of law of attraction before abraham before the secret he is the one he was a He was like a minister that brought this science of the mind. And Florence was right there with them. And she would say statements like affirmation, but the key to affirmations is repetition. You must do 500 to 1000 times a day, even if you don't believe it in the shower, in the car, on the toilet. If you keep doing it in 30 days, the brain is going to get the message and change the subconscious, which is the driver of your mind. Well, yeah. What I've said to some of my

friends is like, if they do like the 10 minute affirmations in the morning, but the rest of the day is spent not doing those things. Like you kind of like missed the point of the morning. It's not going to be enough is what I was saying. Well, we've scientifically known that the brain needs 500 to at least 2000. But if you do 500, you're good. Like, I realize 500 goes fast. I have this little ring you push down to know how many times you say it and get it on Amazon. It's for, like, clubs, when you go into clubs and you want to know how many people are in the club. So you can say it.

So if I walk 10,000 steps every day, I'm doing this. Now, here's the thing. The last guy that I dated was my dad, the father wound. And that had not come up in a really long time. And that hit me. He broke me. He broke me. And so I'm dating sporadically, but nobody major because I'm cleaning my brain to go, no, I don't want to date my father. I want to date a different type of person. You're very self-aware. Yes, they're very self-aware.

You're very self-aware. Yes, they're very self-aware. You're very self-aware. But then there's less choices. As you raise your vibration, it becomes less choices, but better choices. So which would you rather, quantity or quality? That's interesting that you say that because I always say if I wasn't with Michael, I think I would be single. And I feel like... I've set the bar too high. Yeah. I feel like the vibration of what I want is so high that I would rather be alone. I don't think you'll be alone.

I just think you'll wait for the right person. So there's people who are single who are listening to this. If you've been alone for a long time and you're working on yourself, namaste, do not put yourself down for it because you're waiting for the good one to come up and sometimes a good one takes a minute you're in you know you're you're it's like you're redefining who you want and then you're also working on yourself your inner and your outer self to say which is it and we want to live in in the inner world because the inner world is the world where you're going to attract the really great guy or girl when i when I had to lose 60 pounds after I had a baby.

Okay. But you gave birth, right? You gave a child out of your body. Yeah, but it's so hard. It's so hard. It's gaining all that weight. And no one wants to say it. I'll say it. It's so hard. Right. I agree with you. But I kept telling myself in my head, I'm so fat. This doesn't fit me. Did you not feel sexual with Michael when you were doing it? It wasn't even about sex. I just felt like bad. Like a blob. Then I switched my thinking. I said, I'm slender.

I'm long. I'm lean. I'm working out. I'm losing weight. And the weight just started to fall off. You're a manifester. And I want to know what you've said in your head. Okay.

So I had a bad. So the last few weeks I was working on me and I said, okay, so cause I'm teaching, I'm teaching my course, manifesting love and money with Kathleen Cameron, big manifestation expert. You can go to my bio and my Instagram and look it up. And so I'm teaching the course and I said to them, write down what you think of the block is. And I did, I do the course with them and I'm going, okay, everybody take five minutes, minute tape, blah, blah, blah. Come back and I go, I know he exists, but I think I can't find him. So my mantra now is my true love has found me now. I don't like long mantras. I don't like long affirmations. I like a simple, and I don't like when someone writes the affirmation.

I like my own affirmations. When you read the affirmations in books, you're like, oh, that's a wordy thing. What do I feel? And my true love has found me now. So now that I did it, men are starting to come around me again, which you know, that signs a land, you're summoning energy and you feel better. When you did that, the weight fell off. Probably didn't fall off in five minutes. It took a minute, but it did fall off. And you do have to say it all day long. It's not likeise hay says what just what michael says too she says like you can't just wake up and say for five minutes it's got to be it's it's you have to pay attention to the way you speak to yourself in your head all day long my best friend is marissa pierre i don't know if you've had her on the podcast she's she's a leading hypnotherapist number one like therapist

in the world she's in mind valley you know with with Vishon and all those guys. And she said to me, what do you, she was on Louis house a couple of weeks ago. And she goes, what do you tell yourself every day? Which is what you just said. When you wake up in the morning, you're lucid, you're in theta, you're not completely alpha yet awake. So you're in theta. Okay. And then you go to alpha and then you wake up to, you beta and so you go i'm lucid i'm kind of feeling sleepy that's the time those five minutes to go in to go program the affirmation then visualize and taste and feel and touch in your mind and you have to look at it like you're looking at the person you're not looking at in a movie because if you're looking at a movie

you're not one-on-one with what you want you have to be inside the movie you are the actor inside the movie so when you wake up for five minutes you could be like i'm so grateful for my life i love myself that's a perfect example so start with the gratitude i do i if you can't find anything to be grateful for because we're living in a time of chaos in the world i love my sheets i love my pillow which is dr taras thing and i love that i love my sheets i love my bed i love my pillow oh my god i love i love the way feel. Then I go into the affirmation. My true love has found me now. Then I see it, taste, touch it, feel it. Then I'm then five minutes last the other day, I did it in bed on Saturday and I thought it was five minutes. It was two

hours and it flew like that. So you're, I mean, you're meditating all the time. It's interesting because your, your personality is so extroverted and you've got so much going on and you've been on television and it's interesting to hear this other side of you. Right. So I want to go back to when you were on television and walk through up until now. I'm still on TV. So I have my new TV show on The CW.

Okay, tell us about that. So it's a very different show, which is what we were just talking about. It's called Patty Stanger, The Matchmaker. It airs Thursday nights at 8. Check your local listings. And you can download the CW app for free. But it's basically me and Nick Val are doing it together. And I am breaking people's patterns.

Because people are coming to me, I'm single, I'm single. And I keep going to the same type of guy. And I say, okay, well, what are you doing? And we have to break the ancestral wound, the childhood wound, which is where it mostly comes from before we even give them on a date at the end of the episode. And it's really not about me finding the perfect match. It's about you cleaning up who you are. We had Gigi on from Shaw's The Sunset. We've got Jeff Lewis fixing up Shane, his assistant. Vicky came on because I trained Vicki from Housewives of Orange County.

When Steve screwed her over, she's one of my friends, and she called me up crying hysterically. I said, write a list right now. She writes a list. She writes at the bottom. I want a guy who line dances and has cowboy boots and all this money. And she never had a guy with money. And the next day, Kelly Dodd introduces her to Michael, who I knew because Michael had dated one of my friends, who treats her like gold. They're living together.

Life is great. And she had never manifested anyone before. She never even did manifestation. So with all of these people that you have dealt with on your old show, on your new show, you've got your friends calling you, you've got your famous friends calling you. What are these ancestral wounds that you're talking about? Tell us some things that you see. Okay, so for instance, my dad was an orphan and I'm adopted. Do you see the ancestral connection there? Okay, my biological mother was an alcoholic drug addict. I get adopted by an addict. So now your job in this lifetime is to break the

ancestral wounds. And the only way to do it was awareness, meditation, and raising your vibration. When you do that, the chain is broken. And all those people, which probably goes back for centuries, this is not like a one-off. Centuries are in your family. I'm not good enough, which is the number one thing, right? Number one thing in the whole world are in your family i'm not good enough which is the number one thing right number one thing in the whole world we walk around i don't i'm not good enough what else what i'm not enough another one is like i had terrible luck with love i have terrible luck with money i have health issues in my family like whatever the issue is it's floating through your ancestral i can't afford that i can't't do that. That's too expensive. You're just saying,

you were saying, I wanted a baby, but it's really hard on my body. Well, it's going to be hard on your body. If you keep saying it, what if you said this is going to, this pregnancy is going to be a breeze and the weight's going to fly off.

This pregnancy is going to be a breeze and the weight's going to fall off. This is not a pregnancy announcement. What issues, Michael, do you have that you want to go to the next level in your business? And you keep saying, this is not easy. I'm going to be really honest.

He's going to be honest with you. I know what he's going to say. I don't think like that. So you never think of, you always think you can have whatever you want. Yes. You're Mr. Positive. I'm not Mr. Positive. It's not positive.

I'm a quarter Japanese, so I'm definitely not Mr. Positive. You're a quarter Japanese? Really? Wow. Michael is like, what's it called? An anonymous? No, I spent a lot of time in my youth okay in trouble oh and not trouble for like really bad stuff but like hey you're in detention hey you're suspended hey saturday school hey lunch and i what'd you do did you talk too

much or what yeah i was just like wouldn't shut up and i was just like you know i kicked out he was trying to finger bang me in my overalls i got seventh grade but no i gave wait you know guys i was trying to from way back i gave overalls in seventh grade. Wait, you knew that guy from way back then? I gave my first grade teacher the middle finger, got kicked out of school. He mooned the principal. He was just a bad boy. Yeah, but not like a bad boy. No, like a prankster.

Yeah, but not even like a prankster. I couldn't figure out school. It didn't work for me. But anyway, so I spent a lot of time just in all these things. And during that time, I know this sounds kind of crazy, I just was in my head a lot, thinking, thinking, thinking thinking and I realized early on like I had a lot of these external Factors people telling me like oh you're not this you're not gonna be that and so like I learned how to know No, so because you're an aries because my venus is an aries

So when I get the no like you do i'm like oh fuck you and i'm watch me Just watch me do it. So that gives you the adrenaline to do. I also refuse to ever talk to myself poorly. Not always, but I don't. That's amazing. How did you learn that? He has very good parents. Because, okay, I wasn't always like this, but I used to talk to myself really poorly when I was young. And then I realized at one point, I'm like, okay,

if I don't talk to myself kindly and with enthusiasm and tell myself I'm great, then nobody else is going to do it. Did dad or mom teach you that? Yeah my dad's very calm My mom was like Hey I did this thing And she's like yeah of course And when I wouldn't fall short

Even to this day But tell her how you talk to yourself I'm talking in the mirror When he gets out of the shower Tell her I talk to myself like a full psychopath But you know the rule is yourself i'm i'm talking in the mirror when when he gets out of the shower tell her i talked to myself like a full you're supposed to but you know the rule is marissa pierre joe dispensa all of them say get in front of the mirror tell yourself you're beautiful you love each other like 20 times

a day and then brush your teeth brush your teeth with your left hand as you do it but i'm not saying i don't himself like i'm the hottest motherfucker i am am rich. I'm on. Hold on. Go ahead. Hold on. Say it. Let her rip. Shut up this whole episode. Take a break over there. You can go.

Take a sip of water over there. Okay. No. I catch myself in moments of doubt all the time. Got it. But I'm able to snap out quickly. So if I do something- So in the last two weeks, did something go wrong and you had to catch yourself?

Yeah, of course. Things go wrong all the time. Give me one. Give me an example. I don't know. Like maybe, you know, we just put on this live event in the way that I was doing it. I didn't. And then instead of like being like, oh, that was stupid.

I'll be like, okay, next time you're going to do this. And this is the way. Don't you think everything's a learning curve? Like that's the problem. Yeah. And I refuse to ever call myself a loser or a failure. How do you deal with when he does that? Do you do the same thing as start to get positive because he's positive?

Or do you get irritated? But I'm not positive. I just realized. I feel like she gets irritated. Here's the thing. I'm not positive. I just realized that the negative is not going to serve me. But it doesn't matter.

You're still positive. So how do you deal with him being so positive? I don't think the word is positive. I think the word is quietly confident. He's very confident in himself and it's the way he so the confidence does it does it overflow into you like I'll give you an example she was saying that the next pregnancy is going to be hard and what I'll say immediately is like you're in better shape this time you're taking care of yourself it's going to be easier you're going to

be a good husband but but I will also like I think I'm I want a guy like you yeah he's a good husband he talks a lot in the morning though no but i i'm good at i'm good at snapping i'm practical but i'm good at snapping myself into like okay like what's a productive thought and what's not a productive thought what do you get in your club you know what do you get in the club oh my god he'd be like the top of the list so would you so would you i would be like in love fixing you guys up but i don't want to fix you up because you're a perfect couple but watching you two even be like in love fixing you guys up but i don't want to fix you up because you're a perfect couple but watching you two even though you know each other you you've got shorthand because you know each other your whole lives most people don't know each other always

i i look at this the vibrational frequency is so clean even if you have problems you're you're really good together we're very blunt to each other i mean i don't care about that i like the fact that you zig and zag and there's not a lot of like there's not a lot of trauma like you got when i read your vibration you're really clean together like i don't know if it was like you probably had faded relationship before you came into this lifetime it's probably fate well we heard that's a really nice compliment we do zig and zag we are we get a lot of shit on social media because people will say they're jealous they're jealous she'll say oh she doesn't like her husband because i i i'm i pick up what you're

more of a badger i'm a badger but here's the thing if you had known someone since you're 12 it's your best friend i know where i can take it to the line did you ever say first of all did you only date each other and there was no no no no did you, no. Did you break up and come back together? Yeah. We had some period. How many breakups have you had until you got married? We dated from 12 to 15. Yeah.

We broke up. I went with the older guys. Yeah. And we got back together in college at the end. Yeah, I went to the University of Arizona. You went to the University of Arizona with all the hot girls, and where'd you go? Hi, hot girls. All hot girls.

I went to San Diego State oh that's oh that's where my ex went maybe I didn't but here's the thing we always kind of like had a connection and I

and I say this with apologies I've said it on the podcast I never like all the relationships I was in before I didn't take them very seriously

maybe I should have I don't I don't feel good about how I was in a lot of those relationships yeah I understand that but I didn't have the connection I had with her

so I was just like oh here's I knew it was a placeholder she was in a lot of those relationships. Yeah, I understand that. But I didn't have the connection I had with her. So I was just like, oh, here's, I knew it was a placeholder. To always comparing, basically. It wasn't necessarily comparing. It was just like, I didn't have that. Like, I knew it was like,

oh, these are all just going to be like. That's amazing, though. None of them were going to last in my mind. I didn't. But that's, I think you had destiny. I leaned out. If I took your chart in astrology,

I'd find that you were destined. I think a tip, and I want to know all your tips for women, is I was aloof. Wait, but quickly. So aloof. Before you go into aloofness. Were you aloof on purpose or you're naturally aloof?

I'm naturally aloof. Then that's the difference. You probably have a lot of Aquarius in your chart too. My daughter's Aquarius. Yeah. He would lean in and I would lean out and it would make him want me more. Because he's Aries. They only want what they can't have.

Oh my God, that explains everything. He wouldn't leave me alone. That's the story of my life. But I do want to say, for people listening, I'm not like this overly positive all the time guy. I've just spent a lot of time working on- But you learn the trick of the system. Sorry, you learn the trick of the system

so that you could have the goodies. Like you understand, like if this, if someone said this is the roadmap to getting everything you want, even if you don't believe it, you're still going to do it. Yeah, I don't wallow in my sorrows for more than 10 minutes.

Do you wallow in your sorrows? Are you more of a venter? No, no, no. I don't wallow in my sorrows. I vent in 10 seconds and then it's gone. But that's because I'm New York and, you know, raised Jewish.

So that's like, we have to get it out of our system. Colostrum. Are you guys taking it? I am. You know who else is taking it? Michael, both my kids. And ready?

My dog. My dogs like colostrum. So how I found this out is I was taking my scoop of my armor colostrum. I scoop it in my mouth, the unflavored one. I swish it around. I make it a paste. I think it tastes so good. The unflavored one. I swish it around. I make it a paste. I think it tastes so good. The founder actually told me to do this. And I give it to my kids. I'll scoop it

in their mouth. My kids ask me for colostrum. And I'm obsessed with this because it has all the essential nutrients that our bodies need in order to thrive. If you don't know, colostrum supports immunity. It helps your metabolism. It ignites it. It's anti-inflammatory. It supports your gut health, activates hair growth, skin radiance. It's just amazing too for recovery and it has powerful anti-aging benefits. The one that I take is premium. I also am a fan of the watermelon one and how I use this one is I'll mix it in water and shake it up. So the regular unflavored, I'll scoop in my mouth and the watermelon one. And how I use this one is I'll mix it in water and shake it up. So the regular unflavored, I'll scoop in my mouth and the watermelon I shake up.

I give that to my kids too. There's thousands of five-star reviews on their site. And people are saying like it's life-changing. It makes total sense because colostrum is obviously the first food that many of us ate when we came on this planet. Armor is sustainably sourced and it's a superfood. We've worked out a special offer for our audience. Receive 15% off your first order. Go to tryarmour.com slash skinny or enter skinny to get 15% off your first order. That's T-R-Y-A-R-M-R-A.com slash skinny. One thing that I am so serious about is non-toxic

living. I've changed my entire life moving to Austin. I really have. I was thinking the other day that Austin is the place that I disappear, that I have my sanctuary, I have my peace, and I'm really about my nervous system in Austin. And so one thing that I've done is I've changed all my cleaning supplies to Branch Basics. They have the best ingredients when it comes to everything to clean your kitchen, your sink, your toilet, your floors. My dogs are so close to the floor that I wanted to take this really seriously. And my kids run around all the time without shoes on. So I was started to really think about this when I became a mother. I would start

with their premium starter kit. Basically, this is going to replace all your harmful cleaning products in the home in one swoop, which is really nice. I got rid of every single crap cleaning supply in my household. So I just use Branch Basics. They also have this luxurious gel hand soap. It's so beautiful. It's made with only the safest ingredients to nourish your skin. And I've put this in both my kids' room and the guest room. So I don't need to worry about things that most soaps have. I found that triclosan is in so many soaps. Theirs is obviously non-toxic, free of fragrance and hormone disruptors. You've got to check out Branch Basics. Save 15% off your starter kit or get 15% off on their new hand soap. All you have

to do is use code SKINNY at branchbasics.com. Again, that's code SKINNY for 15% off when you purchase a starter kit or their new gel hand soap. Let's talk about my multivitamin. The one that I take has traceable key ingredients that are clean. So you can literally go on their site and see where each ingredient comes from. I personally am a little low on vitamin D and omega-3, but I wanted to find a multivitamin that had omega-3 DHA and I wanted a specific vitamin D and that came from Ritual. The one that I take that I've been taking forever that I always rave about is Essential for Women 18+. I also took their vitamins when I was pregnant with both of my kids. So I'm a big believer in what they do. I also like, this is so random, but their vitamins are really gentle on an

empty stomach. It has like a minty essence. So you don't get like fish burps. You know what I mean? This is especially important with omega-3 DHA. You don't get like fish burps. You know what I mean? This is especially important with omega-3 DHA. You don't want to feel fishy in your mouth. Ritual is all clinically backed and they're very, very specific with what ingredient that they use. You should know it has all nine key nutrients. This multivitamin is absolutely amazing. No more shady business. Ritual's Essential for Women 18 Plus is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Get 25% off your first month at ritual.com slash skinny. Start Ritual or add Essential for Women 18 Plus to your subscription today. That's ritual.com slash skinny for 25% off. Start Ritual or add Essential for Women 18

Plus to your subscription today. That's ritual.com slash skinny for 25% off. Start Ritual or add Essential for Women 18 Plus to your subscription today. That's ritual.com slash skinny for 25% off. Here's the thing. People will come to me and they want to talk about whatever troubles they're going through. And I'm like, cool, let's talk about it for five or 10 minutes. And now, you know, 10 minutes, 20, 30. But now we've talked about it for a long time. But like my ex, when we would get up in the morning is a little more long winded than me. And I'm like, you know, you're in your mind,

you and I are like cut to the chase, get to the bottom line. But then I didn't do it. But then he did, it started doing to me, cut to the chase. And I said, wait a second,

you're the long winded one. I listen to all your stuff. You better listen to me. And that's what I mean about resentment. So you'd have to get one of the things women have a problem with. This is the main problem. Okay. Pay attention,

get a notebook. Okay. of the things women have a problem with, this is the main problem, okay? Pay attention, get a notebook, okay? Is that women were taught to please and not speak up for what we want. This is why abortion is going away. This is the main reason, not to mention Trump. But the point is, we are not, we are so afraid to rock the boat. I was the same way. If he yelled at me, I go silent instead of saying, hey, I'm not going to scream at you. But why did you do that? Why are you being mean to me? What what what is going on that you are what's driving your bus right now that you're taking it out on me because I was taking on the one they love. And women go silent and they don't speak up. And then there are women that are a little nastier and a little aggressive, but they usually end up attracting a beta, not an alpha. And most women want an alpha. In order to get an alpha, you got to know when to

be alpha and know when to be beta. Because alpha men are not attracted to uber alpha women. They run from that. They just want a little alpha, not a lot of alpha. And so women are afraid to speak up and say, I want this. I don't want to do that. And they go with the flow. Like a lot of mouses out there. From what you've seen, men and women and doing what you've done for all these years. What is the main reason people can't find a partner? Okay. So we're post pandemic.

We were taught to shelter in place, which meant everything was on the phone. The smartphone has ruined our lives in a lot of ways. But yet we have more access to information. We're reading the news online. We're not going in. We're getting rid of television sets. Please don't get rid of a TV because I need you to watch my show because I need my Nielsen rating. But we are in this place where we're getting used to being by ourselves. As we age, we get lazier. Oh, that girl's got this problem. Why should I go? She's not married. She didn't have a job. She doesn't this. Then you look at the man. He doesn't have any money. He's kind of lazy. He texted me every so often. He breadcrumbs me, ghosts me.

Like there's so much. When was ghosting acceptable? You can't ghost your boss. So why would you do it to someone you were dating? Why wouldn't you just say, hey, listen, I i went out with you a few times i just don't feel the connection maybe if i know someone for you i'll give it to you and maybe if you know someone from you and we'll do the pay it forward thing you know the referral but people are rude and nasty then where do you go to find a man michael where do you go to find a man i want a man i will tell you where to go this is where i would go okay where would you go? I'm going to Saint-Tropez. I'm sitting in the hottest red dress you've ever seen.

I'm taking Anna Karenina. I'm beating the book up so it looks really red. I'm putting my phone in the purse. I am sitting with a bookmark in front of the yachts with my legs crossed and my sunglasses on and reading Anna Karenina. And men came over? And sitting there. No, this isn't my dream. No, I've never done this.

This isn't my dream if I was single. Okay. I'm putting myself in the vibration of what I want to attract. Or I'm going to Barnes and Noble. And I'm looking hot, but not too hot. But we're talking about you. So where are the men? You just said to me, where do you find the men? The men are...

Well, the men are... They were just strolling the harbor? No, where are the men? You just said to me, where do you find the men? The men are, well, the men are- They were just strolling the harbor? No, where are the men? They're on the yachts. Okay, so, and they're going to get off the yacht and see you with the antiquary room and redress. I'm going to look pretty hot and I'm going to be right in their way.

So your vibration is saying, I'm attracting, which is what I teach, not going out and being aggressive about it. Standing still. A woman is most potent when she's still. And using my fragrance, which is sitting here, which we can get into, my pheromone fragrance. And then you're just emanating energy, which is what the lions do in the wilderness. It's time to mate. He sends Aurora. She smells the pheromone. She comes to him. Okay. That's really,

the lions are kind of lazy. Maybe a tiger does the opposite. The tiger goes to the woman. But in the meantime, we're from animals. We were apes at one point so our dna can send a vibrational frequency and a smell that'll draw the man in i want to be drawing i went on this date with my last boyfriend he was on tinder and i wasn't really that attracted to him and so i thought in the date he's kind of quirky i'm not going to go out with him again. But he, Alpha Scorpio, I mean, I think I even talked about my other boyfriend before that, takes me to the valet, pays the valet, takes the ticket right out of my hand. Ooh, sexy. That's a sexy LA thing. And then he leans over and says, what are you doing Saturday night? And I went, uh, he goes, you want to go to the

Dodger game? I have tickets. And I was like, he has season tickets. I was like, all right. You know what? It's kind of spring. I'd like to see the Dodgers. They're playing. I don't remember where they're playing, but they were playing good to me and then at the ballet he kissed me on the lips and it felt great and i go what the fuck was that i didn't like the way he dressed he's a little overweight he needs to well i said you know what he's like really cute face i can get those 20 pounds off of him which i did i redid his wardrobe i made him hot put him on my instagram which i will never effing do again okay i his new girlfriend is a bravo addict probably like was like obsessed with me from what i hear from

his family and so the point of the story is i was like i didn't see that coming because on the date i was like no definitely not okay and he blew up by energetically frequency because the one thing happened. He wanted me. My energy was going like this. I was aloof. I was quiet. I was listening more than talking. And I was doing everything that you're supposed to do on a date.

I was in jeans, a t-shirt. We went to salt on the water. It was just about right now. It was May 10th. The most unattractive thing, in my my opinion that a woman can do is have desperate energy i think that that men smell it i think they sense it i think it's subconscious i think that you have to act like a poodle with your tail up aloof this is coming from a married woman girls so just so you know i mean i don't know if this is because she's got confidence because she you know you got

him i was like well no his love is a vibrational frequency so here's the thing but it is true we can smell desperation yes and if you have backup and like i have i have another boyfriend that wants to marry me he's not right for me right now but i loved him we lived together he was wonderful he lives in sacramento i'm not marrying him, but I love him to death. Okay. I've had three Davids in a row, by the way. That's another weird thing. So anyway, it's nice knowing that he's there, but it's not backup to me because backup to me would be somebody that I do want and that if it doesn't work out, I feel good enough

to go out and get another person. You see? So backup is like, I had love. I know what marriage feels like like i know what feeling a mom feels like most of these women who are single don't has never had that i teach women who have never been married don't have commitment can't get monogamy like a lot of stuff and i always get monogamy that's not my issue so what do you teach my last all my exes had no money this is my problem and i was too generous and it went sideways and then they

resent me in the beginning they love it and then they because they didn't have money and now i can only date guys with money i gotta level up i'm leveling up because you want to be taking care of the guy all the time i know it creates a dynamic to be taking care of the dynamic it's and a man must be the alpha in my mind so what do you teach women to do to attract? Right. What's, what are the tests? First thing you have to do is clear your vibration. So it doesn't like, I'm a big fan of tail Swan. She is teaching ancestral breakage and the lineage like you've never seen. So she was saying today on her Instagram, she said, everybody's telling you, you have to love yourself before you get a mate. That is not true. And I agree with her. You don't have to be happy all

the time. It's not Abraham happy, happy life Life isn't like that. On October 7th happened, nobody was happy, happy. So you have to just do the best you can. But the people in relationships that don't love themselves still have love in the relationship because their teacher is sitting in front of them, the mate, to teach them a level up. When you are a woman and you're looking for love, the greatest thing you can do is make your short list, five non-negotiables, two must-haves. So five would be like, you know, I'm Jewish, you're Christian, I don't want the Christmas tree in the house. I want to have children, you don't. I want to get married, you don't. Those are really serious non-negotiables, okay? Then two things are physical quirks. I like them tall, hair, and height, okay? You know, whatever your physical quirks are.

Don't get crazy on the looks because God sometimes brings you somebody. You're going to smell, taste, and feel. The dopamine is going to raise. The serotonin. And you're going to go like, he's bald and I never date bald guys. Like, it's going to be like that. The other thing is if you are a believer in any kind of religion, you can give it to God, which is actually really good because you're saying, I placed my order.

I'm letting go. When you're harboring on what you want, it doesn't come in. It's resistant. So a little five minutes in the morning, using your affirmations during the day, you might switch it. Maybe today is a love day. Maybe tomorrow is a business day. You know, maybe it's a health day.

It's not going to always be the same. And as you start to level up, you'll get a call. Come to a party. Come on. I just got a call. My best friend is taking me away for July 4th to Lake Cuomo. Her husband and I are taking me. I'm going by myself.

I don't know anyone other than them. I'm going to go for the week. Who knows who I'll meet, right? I never done this before. She's like, I'm taking you away for your birthday. She's a Gemini too. She's marrying a very wealthy man. And he's like, let's take Patty.

All right. I went to Aspen with her a couple of years ago. I didn't see a lot of men. It's mostly women in the summer. But anyway, the point of the story is you got to move your cheese. I'm still on the apps. I'm on Bumble. I'm on Tinder.

I'm on Hinge. I'm still looking. I'm on tinder I'm on hinge I'm still looking I'm thinking about creating the next great app I have fine I'm looking at financing we're gonna do something that no one's done in the industry I have an idea Michael and I will talk later afterwards about that podcasting we're talking about but the one thing you have to do is keep putting yourself in different situations so if you do the same thing every day, expecting the same result, you will not score because the vibration feels unsatisfied. So to raise the level up, you got to do unusual things and one out of 10 will be good.

Let me ask you the reverse though. What are men doing wrong? Oh, a lot. They're doing more than the women. Because it starts with the man. Whether it's the chicken or the egg, how you do it, it it starts the men are not asking women out now i went to london before the pandemic to date because i'm writing a book on dating around the world i went to london and i was there i went to annabelle's i went to all the cool places i did i did regular things right annabelle's was fancy and the men were gorgeous and they were staring at me up and down so i didn't know if they're staring because they saw me on the e-channel which is like their bravo there but i called my friend over i said i went to get drop my clothes off at the cleaner and a guy was staring

at me drop got in his porsche and i and i said the owner of the store says wow he was really checking you out and i was like what happened england isn't like that i said what do you mean you must be introduced oh so the men are passive, very feminine energy. Thus the boy school and shit like that. So they're feminine energy. So the bottom line is we're having a problem post-pandemic. We're in a love pandemic where men are not asking women out. I don't know if it's a white man disease right now because of Weinstein.

I think it's soy milk. It could be Weinstein. They're afraid they're going to get like canceled. I'll tell you what it is. Well, maybe that. And it's funny because you're right. Lauren and I have been married for a long time and we missed the dating apps and we've been together.

And so it's like, sometimes I feel a little bit out of pocket trying to talk about this stuff because it's like, what do we know? Yeah, but give us the tips. But you're married, so you should have good wisdom. But my experience pre-Lauren, when I was running around my single day, is like, we didn't have the apps. And if you saw a woman, you had to go up. Right.

And you had to like. At the bar, the restaurant, the gas up right and you had to like at the bar the restaurant the gas station you'd have to like talk foods well i remember when they used to come up to you at whole foods and say hey can you help me with this is this a good sale addressing yeah and you had to show you were interested and you had to say something their number yeah it was it was harder i think and also because you saw what you're getting in person so you knew that it wasn't a lie on the apps because the laps can lie yeah Yeah. No. And, and, and because of that also, I think when you found somebody,

you were much more interested. You stayed longer. The level of interest is higher. I didn't have 18 other options, right? There was, you know, right.

You didn't, cause you know, if you, if you're on Tinder and you're on there, there's 20 million other people. If this doesn't work out, fuck her. I'm going to go to the next one.

I think it's a problem. But what do I know? But we have younger siblings, younger friends, people ask us all the time and I say, you know, when you have endless options, you're like, oh, this person.

Can you imagine what it's going to be like with your children in the future? You're going to be like AI and make me an imaginary girlfriend, which is what they're doing right now. For us, it's like maybe we had five boxes. My son's girlfriend better look just like me. She's gonna.

Say I was with the girl. I'm like, okay. She's like, checks four out of the five. That's good enough. Now it's like, hey, I have 15 things. They didn't check

one of the things. Let me swipe 18 other times. I'm done with this one. And by the way, the apps don't have a lot of money. You're not going to see lawyers and doctors

and accountant. It's a very weird energy on the male side. The women are super successful. Why? Statistics have shown us we're more women in college. Okay?

That's a really big deal. There are more women in the United States, even though the singles rate is growing. The average age now is 29 to get married. That's old, by the way. And so when we look at the statistics, we're looking at men are controlling the board. So how does a woman control her own board and level up? She's got to say no, no, no. Universe will yield at some point.

Because if you are sticking to your guns and you're not crazy with a list to the floor, the basics, you know, normalcy, it's going to come. But to your point also. And I've seen really unattractive people get serious love with beautiful people. I am going to get eaten alive for this. I think it's important to have, you know, independence and be a strong woman, strong man. But this. Women were not meant to be like that.

DNA was. I don't know any of my guy friends that's like, I want an alpha woman that's just going to berate me all day and beat me. There you go. Men want to be men. And like if Lauren and I- Look, here's the thing. If you got sick or something went wrong and you couldn't process your information, you're

worried about what your situation is, you're going to want her to alpha up. Sure. And I like it at times. Like I said. There are times of alpha, but majority is beta. You come into the relationship as a beta, but God forbid, like finances go, health reasons go, shit happens, your parent dies and you're in a depression. She's there to help you. Then she's going to alpha up. And you can't take that away because that is gold. You take turns with each other, loving each other that way. That is great advice.

But I like when she's alpha at times, but if it was all the time, I wouldn't want it. I'd be like, this is too much. I was an alpha last night. Wait, what happened? We had great sex. I was not alpha last night. You were on top. I let you alpha.

She did all the work and you just laid there. No, I got a lot of work last night. No, he did a lot of work last night. He's tired. I was running my heart rate monitor. Did you look at, I mean, I'm looking at my aura ring. Did you look at your wound?

Wait, I got to tell the aura ring. Aura ring, you need to put like sex and how many calories I burned on the aura ring, even though I haven't had sex in a while. I record it as wrestling. I'm going to ask you a question that maybe people ask you all the time, but I think a lot of people want to know, but they secretly won't ask.

What if there is a girl that's listening right now and she wants a rich motherfucker? Yeah. And I'm talking rich. She can join my club. OK, what what are the things that she needs to do to get that? Well, first of all, OK, so when a rich man finds like a Lauren Sanchez, which is an unusual thing with Jeff Bezos, and I love Lauren to death. I know her.

She came in even though they met through the, you know, it wasn't a clean situation when they met, but he adores her. Great astrology, by the way. She looks like she rocks his world. Right.

She never had that before. When she did the helicopters and all this shit, he had never met a woman like that. So you were, he was extraordinary, but not everybody's extraordinary. A lot never met a woman like that. So he was extraordinary, but not everybody's extraordinary. A lot of people want that wife that supports them and makes their life easy. Even easy like meals are on the table, house is clean, I'm taking your shirt to the cleaner,

I made the travel arrangements. Basics like for the multi-millionaires. When they see that great sex and fun, they sign up. East Coast men especially sign up. West Coast men are a little lazy. If you want a real alpha East Coast Wall Streeter, you got to go to Wall Street. That's how it works. Or you got to go to, well, the tech country is a mess. I went up to Silicon to try to fix the situation there. Those men, I don't think they're, they're unmatchable. They won't get out of their houses. They're loaded. They've got hair down to their ankles and everything on the apps is like, will you go on a hike with me? A lot of beta energy up there.

So beta. What is that? They have nothing but money. There's something in the water up there. Lauren Sanchez. I love her though. Is one of the smartest women. And I'll tell you why.

Yeah, she had great men. All three of them. She is, you can tell she's fun. And confident. She's confident. she ooze charisma she also brings out fun of someone who's used to just work work work and and she's you can tell she's the life of the party but i can also tell she knows how to switch it off and let him be right there's an art and a finesse to knowing when to turn it on and then knowing when to step away

and the other thing is you got to meet that person so who is interested how do you get into the rich person when you go to harvard yale and not about the protesting right now but when you go to harvard yale because i'm not a really fan of the ivy leagues right now but when you go to the harvard harvard or yale you're not going there for school harvard doesn't even teach you a trade in the first four years you go there you're doing basically the same thing you did in high school. And then they want you to go to the business school or the law school. You're going there for contacts. You're going there to meet the elite of the elite, the rich of the rich. And then you got to zig and zag and know what to do. That's why people go to those schools. So how did like a Kate Middleton meet the prince?

Well, when I watched the movie, and I don't know if this is true, they had run into William with his mother in front of like Selfridges or one of the major department stores raising money for the poor. So the mother saw they had a look against her. Her mother taught her what to do. So wherever William took the gap year,

she sent Kate to where it was, but they were always one step behind. And then they finally landed at college. She was beautiful, had the look. I mean, she looked like a model and she wasn't very nice. She thought he wasn't very nice. So she dissed him. And then she had a boyfriend who was hot, but the mother said you could level up. The mother was the coach in this. And the mother said, get rid of the of the hot guy she did he had been waiting for her to be single and then saw her in you know a fashion show and some nakedly clad thing and that was it but she put herself in a position with the looks and the confidence that she could get William that's a pretty high tall order since he's a prince

a lot of girls could not have done that do Do you have a red flag that goes up? I would if I was you. I'm just wondering if you do, though. When someone is leading with money, like when they come to you and they say, I want a rich guy. Right. To me, I would be like, don't lead with that.

No, no, no. You want security. Security is not a rich guy. Security is like, if I have a baby, do I have to work? I would love to stay home because I know my body. I know the way I'm going to feel. I need to nurture this child for him. And maybe in this time and age

you get lucky with a rich guy and he says, you don't have to work. I'm going to take care of you. And then one day the kids start growing up. You get bored and you go back and you get your business going. That's a different situation. But when someone says, I want Gucci, Fendi, Prada, I want to go here there and i'm like no no it doesn't work you can give them you won't introduce those types

i will give them the man that wants that but then i said there'll be no intimacy and no depth you'll have no depth to this relationship he will turn on and turn off he will trade up to another girl he will not you will not be the fine wine. Now, the old days of the girlfriend experience, which I don't do, I've never done any hooker situation. The girlfriend's experience makes a deal. You will pay all my bills. I will not get emotionally attached. I'll fuck you six ways to Sunday. But at the end of the day, at the end of the day, this is a contract. You'll come see me two, three times a week. You'll pay my rent. You'll get my car. If you want more than that, you got to pay me. And you know what what happens every one of those guys fall in love with

the girlfriend really because she doesn't want him and then she's always got a boyfriend on the side like some waiter that's hot that she's stupid so that's why every time i have i've done research on this that's wild so do they try to end up marrying him i've had seen the situation when they've even given them seen the situation when they've even given them the ring yeah and they've ended up trying and some of them have ended up marrying them yes so that's a hot tip because but then there's a sociopath but there's the girl in her mind is very cuspy well totally narcissist these are narcissistic relationships and a sociopath at some point she has no feelings so as long as her needs are getting better. So a narcissist works out like this because I just came from a narcissist. I love you. You're everything

I want. You tick all my boxes. I want to marry you. And then the devaluation stage comes. I start to see flaws in you. And now you're broken. I want to send you back to the factory. So I'll discard you. And maybe if I can't find somebody else else i'll hoover and come back to you that is what men and women do gay or straight in these sociopathic psychological relationships and they their needs have to be met you fuck me i'm pretty okay you look good on my arm and you pay the bills why are men cheating because they can what do you mean they the woman lets them get away there's too many options i want to know all the reasons okay so the men's sheet for various reasons their needs are not getting met we talked about the resentment okay i've warned you you're resenting me i've

warned you and now i'm to the floor now the secretary comes in and she's the life of the party and makes her life and she's got a crush on him and boom bam boom okay that's one number two the woman says i don't feel loved for years and the gardener starts to look good same type of situation so good so the woman you're also seeing a lot of cheating what i was gonna say is we know and it can go gay by the way and it can go any situation go gay fluid whatever we know plenty of women i actually know more women that women cheat more than men statistically but they don't brag about it men brag about in the locker room so they get caught so women women have shame about cheating so they keep it inside that's scientific that's you know a lot of this is the alchemy of attraction is all science it's all

science now another reason why they cheat i got. Alcohol and drugs will induce cheating. It's the gateway to cheating because you have no inhibitions. Molly, whatever market drug is on the market, it's a gateway to cheating. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all on your own terms. We live in a time now where it is so important to own your own assets, your own website, your own RSS feed, your own newsletter online.

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I see a lot of women after they have children start to stray away from their husbands or they don't feel desired. But I've heard from a lot of women because I obviously talk to a lot of men, let themselves go. I've heard that they don't want to fuck their husband anymore. Right. And that they just cheat on vacation with a girl. Yeah. I hear this all the time. So there's lesbian cheating. There's DL cheating. We know that men have a DL thing. What's a DL? Oh, I'm not really gay, but I'm fucking my best friend. Okay.

What's DL? I didn't know about that. Oprah did a whole show called... Is DL down low cheating? Are you fucking Taylor? It's down low. It's called the down low. But is it...

So they cheat with men and they don't think they're gay. There's a lot of that going on. A lot of DL. They cheat with men but don't think they're gay. Yeah. Taylor, are you fucking Michael It's kind of like wrestling and we stick it in You know what I mean

And one person's the bottom and one person's the top Taylor is that what happened when we wrestled last The gay community The gay community Will end up with these straight boys And then either they'll flip to the dark side Leave their wives or they won't And they'll stay in their relationship and just have these, these, you know, open relationships that the wife don't know. And they go on for years. There's a

lot of DL, but there's a lot of women doing it too. With women. With women. And they go, oh, that's not really cheating. You know, that's not really cheating. I'm with a girl. And then the guy's like, well, bring me to the party. So there's a lot of threesomes going on. At some point, if you feel comfortable, you want to spice up your love. And that's where swinging comes in. And that's where these parties of swinging come in. They start to level up on these kinds of lifestyles. Do you know Damon Lawner? Do you know who that is? No. Does he have sex parties here in LA? Have you heard of those? We had him in yesterday. I was invited to Bliss when I first got to LA. I must've been 40. And I was dating one of the major porn marketing guys.

Okay. And he said, I swear to you, I'll never date any of these girls. I'll never cheat. And we started dating. We were getting close to having sex probably two months in. He was giving me monogamy. He lived in Pennsylvania. And he says, we're invited to this party called Bliss.

Okay. And I said, it's like an eyes wide shut party. And I was really excited to go at one point because I like voyeurism. I like porn and voyeurism. I'm a voyeur. I want to go too. I want to watch. But I don't want voyeurism. I'm a voyeur. But I don't want to participate.

Like he said, if you're naked and you walk... And I had been once gone on a date and the guy once took me to Swingers Club and I almost had a heart attack. That was in Florida right now. So we were talking about it, but then he went and cheated with one of these girls that he was doing a video with and I found out through the grapevine.

I'm like, no, no, you have too many candy in the candy store for you. I don't like a guy who has a lot of girls. So I broke up with him but I always remained friends and this guy who made these bliss parties which I can't remember the name

every celebrity won I think it's Damon so maybe it was him but it was called bliss and they rent out mansions and everything so maybe it is him I don't know if it was Damon

did they do the show time there was another guy that did show NXIVM NXIVM whatever he's like one of the Most prominent He was in here yesterday

We were talking all about it Which is why I asked But anyways The reason I was asking I like the voyeur part But I don't want to I don't want to participate Can relationships withstand

Swingers Polygamy This is the hard part He was offering to set us up And I said you know The reason we I don't know if I could do it No because

I'm confident her and I Could align on the same page. I'm not... Could you do it? Could you swing? No. No. Like where you do a soft swap between the two of you?

I got too much going on to be... I don't want to watch the other person do it. No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't... I'm not a good sharer. I'm not a good like, hey, go jerk off in the corner guy. I like to be an active participant. But she would...

I was saying her and I could be completely aligned, known each other a long time, but I don't trust the third person. You know what I mean? I don't trust that person being... Okay, so my best friend for her husband's 40th birthday brought in the trainer and they had the threesome and the trainer got pregnant and he left her for the trainer.

See, I can't... Wait, your best... My best friend for her husband's 40th Okay Brought in the trainer The girl trainer They had the threesome She got pregnant

And then he left her For the trainer So you can't So that's why I don't trust any I don't trust any of that Neither does Dr. Drew He said he's never seen it

Work out once Well there's always three I told you three Isn't any of the number So when Jenny McCarthy Was writing one of her books She asked me to write How do you do a threesome So I'm going to teach you how to do a threesome where you don't get

in trouble if you want a threesome pay attention cock on the clock which means you get a hooker when you get the hooker the hooker's looking at the hour it'll go over the hour but you got to pay and she's not calling your husband after it's over she's got enough men coming through the door you always get a hooker yeah but it's a business transaction so is the guy allowed to fuck the hooker too if you you have rules which if some people just want to have you watch me and you can touch us but you can't stick it in everybody's got rules on how this is going to work but if you do cock on the clock with the hooker you won't get in trouble this is what i wrote in the book because it's a business

transaction her brain is not processed to fall in love when she's had that many men it's like a massage exactly exactly good point i think that women should wait at least three months to have sex at least i always wait three months to have sex and i always get monogamy and i don't have sex unless i get monogamy you know my rule no sex before monogamy i did not know that that's just that's a million people saying that these days and i and if you don't want like my ex waited a really long time he's like i will take all the time that you need if you don't hear that he's like well you know i'm used to you know trying the car out before i buy it like no goodbye because you don't you're going into a hookup situation and you're in danger now why are you in danger if you're under into a hookup situation and you're in danger. Now, why are you in danger? If you're under the age of 45, you have oxytocin.

Men only get oxytocin when they fall in love, and they don't fall in love through sex. They fall in love emotionally. Women fall in love through sex. The minute you sleep with the gas station attendant, you're in love with him. Whether it's a bad sex or anything, the oxytocin rises up in your body, and your brain starts to tell you you're in love, and that's drunk love and you don't want to go there you got dopamine serotonin all the little fun stuff is dueling you making you feel like you're wonderful this is even if it's a great orgasm what

i was saying earlier is like about previous dating is i would i'm not proud of this but i would have no real emotional attachment to some of the women that I was with and not intentionally. Well, sex is like, you know, when I watch, if you watch porn, it's like, it's like, you know, athletics. It's not really, you don't really, the porn that I like are the regular people, because I want to see the connection between them. I can't get off on just like. So I have two younger sisters and I would always tell them. Oh, that's why you're a good dad. But I would tell them like, hey, you know, if you have sex too early and you get an emotional attachment, like you don't count on the guy to have that same feeling right away.

Exactly. And a lot of men don't have it right away. You have to like, you have to really wait to. Look, a man's going to fall in love with the actions that you do. You go on the CBS line to get your drugs and it's a line around the block. And how did you behave on the line? Were you making him joke? Did you have fun with him?

Were you giggling? He's going to remember the subtle points. And that's what builds over time to make him fall in love. He's not going to fall in love because you gave him nookie on the first date. Don't sleep with them on the first date. You're an idiot if you do. My ex-boyfriend told me he would never get in a relationship with any girl that slept with him on the first date. This is going to sound also very aggressive, maybe very alpha, but as soon as that happens that quickly, immediately, I don't care what anyone says, all of our brains are like, well, but as soon as that happens that quickly, immediately, I don't care what anyone says, all of our brains are like, well, who else did that happen with that quickly? My boyfriend that I live with, David, he once said to me that if a woman comes on to him

and a woman seeks him out, makes a phone call, he's not interested. He has to be in hunt mode for him to feel like he got a prize, the chase. My dad dated so many different women when my parents got divorced. So I got to see like an expose, like a focus group. Right. And the one that dangled the carrot, because you got to dangle your carrot

for as long as she did is the one he ended up marrying. It was never the woman that... Of course not. Ever. I got yelled at last time that I didn't make phone calls to him and i was taught by my dad you never call a man let them call you and if they want to call you they will he's like

why don't you call me why don't you this and i was like i was like whoa did you have women that called you he's like yeah he goes you were the least needy girlfriend i ever had and i go because i was trained by my dad to be like woman is most potent when she's still let the man come to you when when i created this fragrance by the way my uh pheromone fragrance i said we needed something that men would smell and come towards the woman because if you can't go after him what are you going to do that's so smart so i created this fragrance that i have love i was working for years it's the highest potent pheromone you could buy it's gay straight male female we just gave you a couple's kit and then we also created a candle which is fun it's a massage candle oh nice you

dip you light it and you dip it and then you can massage each other and it's got a spout but the reason i did all this is because men men's neurotransmitters are turned on by the scent of a woman and same thing with a woman like you like his sweat when he comes home from the gym you like the pheromone but how can you get a man if you can't go out and hunt and you got to wait for them to come to you and it's very frustrating for women to wait for them so i put this fragrance thing together with i have love and that's where it's like animals in the wild do nothing stand at the bar do what you just said and watch them flock to you like you're in your santropay theme my whole tip and i know i'm married is what you just said do nothing do nothing nothing but you know what people can't do it that's they can't take the advice to just do take one glass of wine and

it's game over no text no call if he wants to pick up the phone and call he can call when a woman's chasing a man on text what do you think he's gonna go i'm working i'm busy stop leave me alone and the next thing you know he's gonna block you men want men want to hunt i it's in their dna i want to be hunted right you like the knowing that he's after you people discount like i i think if, because we've been married so long together, they discount this. But also, we speak to

a lot of people. Right. And we have a lot of friends that are in these situations. And we have experiences previously being married. I don't know any guy that just wants to be

chased all the time. And I told my sisters growing up all the time, you should never have to wonder if a guy's into you. If he's not chasing you, then he's not into you. If he's not into you.

Because that's what, you know, even he's not into you because that's what you know even he's not into you said that yeah there's no such thing but it's like if you like three four days of him calling you checking into you can say hey how's your day like that's different because that's showing care and you're not a bitch no i don't like and i don't advocate for the games if a guy's actively pursuing and chasing and you're trying to do the game and like he might have a business meeting and he's really worried about it you say say, hey, how'd your deal go? I don't agree with that.

I love a game. I think if you play the game too aggressively at this stage. In early, but we're talking like before monogamy. When you're in monogamous relationship, things change and now you share more.

I still play games. But the first 90 days is the perfect day. This is where I think Lauren's advice is actually terrible for women. I still play games. No, he calls me out on it

all the time. Okay, go. I'll tell you why. Because in this day and age, men have a lot more options than women before. Way more options than women. And so do women, right?

No, way more than women. I don't want to be with someone that doesn't want to. Women do not have the options you think they do. It's men who have the options. Okay, so that's fair. And I'm not going to lie about that.

And when we, if men, and I know this because I see my friends do it, if the girl is playing the game too aggressively then they're going to the next four or five i don't play it aggressive no yes you do we're like i'm not don't respond don't answer don't text back that that the game goes too far and i think if a guy is actually saying like hey i'm into you and i'm pursuing you

yes if you're if you feel the same way like give him the opening if you don't give him the opening then he's moving on exactly exactly i think it's to give the opening. Exactly. I understand what she's saying. So I like to live in the middle. I'm going to be a little bit more calculated when I'm first. If I like you, let's say I like you, and I'm going to be more calculated in the first 90 days. But when I get into monogamy, it's going to shift and be more like you. But I don't know who you are. So if I don't know who you are, I'm at risk for falling for you, where you can go to the next one because you have no oxytocin.

You're not going to bond. Even if you kissed or touch and taste me, like hug me, I'm getting a serotonin, dopamine abuse. We have found scientifically a five-second hug is probably equivalent to like a day's worth of serotonin. And then if you kiss, it's a 10-second kiss. Same thing. So all of that is changing my brain.

Your brain doesn't change. Sure. But if a guy is love bombing you, that's different. Then I think you pull back. No, no. But if a guy's like, hey, I'm into you.

But they don't even know what love, like, okay, if a guy's like, hey, beautiful, and I've never met you, like off the app, I'm like, oh, here we go. And if they're like,

oh my God, you're the most amazing thing. I feel like you've never met the person. Do you know how many people in relationships from the pandemic that have never met their person? And it's strictly like a Zoom, like a WhatsApp, like a FaceTime relationship. I'm like, you've never met him. This is not a relationship. This is a pen pal relationship.

So like when you're with them. Dear Mr. Henshaw. There's tons of them. You could do a whole MTV, you know, like Catfish should do a whole extended show on that. I see them all the time. All this being said, I'd probably be completely lost if I was single now. I wouldn't know what to do. I still think, you wouldn't be lost, you'd just be

discouraged because you got such a good one. How are you going to go from here? What are you going to do? Go have fun. I tell them I go see what's out there. I would be very, very particular at this point. Have fun. Ariel's laughing. Have fun with that. You go see what's out there. I'll be over fun. I would say this. I tell him I'd be discouraged. Go see what's out there. I would be very, very particular at this point. Ariel's laughing. Have fun with that.

You go see what's out there. I'll be over here. I actually think, and this may be a hot take, I think that you should play games when you're married. I play games all the time that he doesn't know about. There's passive aggressiveness in the marriage all the time. Come on. It's like life is life.

A little game. Sometimes you got to read your mate and go, okay, he's feeling this way. But if you get secretive on me and I don't understand the secretive, I would go right to the fire and say, what are you doing?

Like, what's going on? Why are you being weird and secretive? Because that's when we start to go into resentment. It's like, we don't understand our mate. No, there's no secretive too.

There's no secretive. I got a big power flex move. I'll leave my phone. She can have my phone wherever she wants. We're talking about men who don't let women touch their phone. That's a red flag. I need to take a phone call.

And you're like, you know, like in a weird situation, like you're in the middle of dinner. He's got, you're like, you know, I have a tip for girls out there.

Go into your mates. Recently deleted text. You can see their recently deleted text. This is going to break up relationships ever. That's a new thing on Apple. You can go on and you can see their recently deleted text to see if they're cheating. All the men and women that are out of integrity right now are flipping and freaking out with their phone. Sorry.

Apple's letting you do that now. It's a new thing. No, and I actually haven't done this to you. I've just heard that you can do this now. I think, though, that when you're married, you should still keep it hot with a couple games yeah i i think that it's always it's knowing your mate when to come forward and when to come back yes it's push pull in a lot of ways like you said but it's not like to the point where it's going to break your marriage up it's just a little game of like oh you don't want me right now fine i'm going to go busy and go do something and you you're like, where are you going now?

I'm like, oh, I'm playing tennis at the club. And you're like, wait a second. What are you doing at the club at 7 o'clock at night? You know, that kind of thing. And then you're like, I met with a bunch of people. I'll call you back later. Bye. You know, that kind of thing.

Hold on. The pool boy's asking you if I want a vodka lemonade. Call you right back. Yeah, but if the man started if i started being like oh sorry no no you need to be home with a book no you need no no if you said to me i gotta work late and you're working late every single night and you're not coming home then i have suspicion about you you know what though my husband he just wants to sit in his in his man cave and read his books no do you know what it is i have enough you're so you're perfect because you like to be alone too

yeah no here's the thing I have enough headaches as it is and I think about I play these scenarios out in my head I'm like okay if this happened and then this happened

like the nightmare and shit storm that would bring that would come into my life also her I think she would be maybe I think actually

I would be physically hurt do you want to know what I would do if she did what nothing I would wait I would wait

for two years and I would think and I would strategize you say that no I would wait I would wait for two years and I would think and I would strategize you say that no I would not freak out I think when you freak out you're being emotional

I think the number one thing that a woman needs to look for is compatibility you need a guy who's compatible with you and he cares about you and is kind and loving

and he's not just loving to his mother and the waitress he's loving to you and if you and how the first question i would say on a date after with the niceties and the pleasantries you know when they start they're gonna always ask you if you're older what happened to your last relationship why are you single they're gonna ask that it's standard offering but you can say how do you resolve conflict joking and if they don't answer how do you

resolve conflict in a very conducive manner? Run. How do you resolve conflict? No, I want to know. I will. But joking aside, I do not make, I was saying this to our friend the other day who's young and she's getting serious with her significant other and they're getting ready to take the next step. Okay.

And I said, you're going to have to let go of a lot of the me selfish stuff when you become, when you go into relationship. Of course, you got to merge. let go of a lot of the me selfish stuff when you become when you go into a relationship you could still of course you gotta merge i do not personally make any big decision any longer without thinking about how that decision impacts her no business decision no life decision i think and i so when i make the decision i'm also thinking like how does this affect her and i think that that is a it's a good thing for people to think about in a relationship because i think a lot of people they they get into a relationship and it's still like i I'm doing everything for me and what I want in my career and what I want. And it's like, if it's not conducive to the relationship, then you have somebody off on a kite string,

on a tether, just doing their own thing selfishly without any consideration. I understand that. But when she's, you can't tell her everything. She's going to have to go through the experience herself. And that is the mistake that everybody has. We read all these self-help books. We get all this information. And trust me, I wrote a great book, Become Your Own Matchmaker. And you can get married any year. Those steps work to this day.

It is a Bible. It is not dated. It is evergreen. But I will tell you this. No one can teach you what it's like to be with the other person because no two people are alike. Sure. They're like snowflakes. But the one thing you need to say is, how do you resolve conflicts resolve conflicts because when you say that that tells you what type of man you are

how do we resolve no i know she asked you how do i resolve conflict yes yeah well i do not hold on to you're not a grandchildren no we recover okay so if you had conflict right now would you say i want to talk about it or take an appointment for later? It depends how big. Or do you not talk about it? You keep it deep. Do you put it down? No, you'll talk about it. No, we're talking. We bring it to the surface quick.

But if it's like, hey, we were tired and we're snapping. Yeah, do it tomorrow. Or you let it go. No, we look at each other and be like, was that the thing we really want to. My mom would say, is it a battle or is it a war? Yes. That's such a good one. My mom used to say that.

She said, you got to learn, Patty, the difference between a battle and a war. That's a good advice. Right. used to say that she said you gotta learn patty the difference between a battle and a war that's a good advice she's really good that's your next my mom used to say if listen to the this is the best thing my mom had said men are like buses they come every 10 10 minutes you just gotta know what bus to get on because when she was dying at the end of her life with a babushka on her head and walking public's grocery store in miami my stepfather was at home men would swarm. And I'd be like, why are all the men coming up to us and helping? She goes, Patty, I have the X factor, which is what my bottom, my pheromone is the X factor. Cause I didn't have that growing up.

I was not the kid that the boys swarmed. So I was jealous of my mom because she had that internal knowing that confidence, which what lauren sanchez says same thing you have the x factor now the battle in the wars i'm not really i know you know my you have to say that's your affirmation that'll be my affirmation you have to say that i'm gonna wake up in the mirror tomorrow and look at myself and say i am the x factor so but it's funny because my mom had this like je ne sais quoi. She didn't always pick right in the men, but she had a je ne sais quoi about her.

And I was just like, I remember thinking about this as a kid. She had blonde hair, tan skin, really sexy. And I thought, oh my God, like it's not even the looks. It's like she manifested things before anybody did. We used to call her the ostrich, but she was always manifesting things. When she couldn't get pregnant, she had endometriosis. We didn't know that back then, but that's probably what it was.

She'd put a pillow under her dress and go to the maternity store and pretend she's pregnant. And the next day, she went to the doctor to get a checkup to see what was wrong. And he said, look, I don't know what's going on, why you're not getting pregnant. I don't know if it's psychological, but I have a baby for you if you want to adopt and that was me oh my so she manifested through a side door you know like you get my mom's like I don't care how I get the baby's like and the same thing with my sister and so the thing that the thing that I got is she believed it and when I looked at Lauren Lauren had the same kind of you know like I but she's also around these crazy these amazing powerful men but she has that same feeling that my mom had.

But to get there, you have to have it. You have to believe it. Yeah, you got to have it. She came in this world that way. So if you want it, you have to learn to untrain your brain to believe it. So a lot of actresses, they do that. Let's talk about Barbra Streisand, my favorite. So Barbra Streisand does The Mirror Has Two Faces. It's a very French movie. It was made into an American version. And she was the

ugly duck thing that hanged out that with her girlfriends at lunch. And she was a professor like at Columbia or whatever school it was at. And Jeff Bridges has dated all hotties and nothing mentally stimulates him. So he's going to make an arrangement. He takes a personal ad out. He's going to make an arrangement to meet a not so ad out. He's going to make an arrangement to meet a not so hot girl who's brilliant and they'll get married because whenever he gets married to the hot girl, she steals his money and his work goes sideways.

So it was really funny. So she meets Barbra Streisand and she has a crush on Pierce Brosnan, which is her sister's husband, who's the hot one. And she never could get that guy, but she starts to transform. She becomes the ugly ducky to the swan and she got so beautiful at the end of the movie that jeff reese's you know comes back they break up and she's like i don't know if i want you because i i'm it now what are you like she didn't look at him like at the pedestal eventually they

get married p.s long story short she goes to a dinner party okay and charles bronson's there who's like gorgeous movie star gorgeous you know we know his son and everything right and they get married because her brain was being such a great actress she probably even did method at that point like a meryl streep thing and she became what she was in the movie and i just think that is the most beautiful thing that i've ever seen that is my that is the one thing i always think've ever seen. That is the one thing I always think about. It's eluding confidence. It's the actress

who can go in there and become the person, which is what you're trying to be as a human being who's not an actress. Because actresses are taught what to feel, taste, touch, and become the thing.

You gotta fake it until you make it. That's why they always get men. That's why they always go on set and meet another guy. That's why they go out in the world and the agent says, so-and-so saw you on TV. I want to meet you. That's why they meet because they're always training their brain to be that person.

You know, it's funny. I see this too with the men. Like sometimes my male friends that you would look at and not think would be the ladies. Yeah. They're like, because they elude that confidence and they believe it. And maybe it's also they've had to work hard for it too. hard to talk about the ugly comedian who's really you know hot you know like i went on jimmy kimmel and he was like just broke up with sarah silverman as the day i went on and i was really kind to him because i didn't want to ruffle his feathers and you know he thanked me and i said

you know you don't realize how hot sexy you are because what do you mean i go you're you're funny that takes you 10 notches above you make me laugh i feel sexy you will always have a woman like don't ever think that you're not hot enough because i was telling him that some of my friends now because we're in our mid late 30s and the guys that were i guess like you know the ones that would be quoted like they would be considered the good-looking hawk they struggle more now than the guys that are like the funny confident ones ones. Exactly. Those guys will go up to women. Exactly.

So if you think about it, now that's the man. The man can get the girl because the man has to go out. In the old days, you'd get 10 numbers and one, you know, we try to get 10 numbers and one would pop, right? Isn't that the rule? Yeah. Okay. Same thing on the app side.

Right. But on the apps, the men are just texting back and forth. So what's happening here is they move over to regular texts. The woman thinks, oh, he moved over to regular texts. This is good. And then he won't ask her out. And I said, do you know what you're doing? You're entertainment for the evening so he can level up to a better girl. He's bigger, better doing it. So stop giving them entertainment and say, hey, listen, you know, you've been texting. Do you want to go out or not? Because I don't really have a lot of time for this. What about if you're a Sunday girl? What's a Sunday girl?

A Sunday girl is if a guy, when I was single, started texting me on Sunday, I'm like, oh, you're hungover and you feel bad and you're in bed and you want to be entertained because you went out Friday and Saturday. Block. So if I ever gave a guy who didn't give me Saturday night to test him, I would give him laundry night, which is Monday. Ah. But now you don't do that anymore because now you're getting a lot of information, where they live, how tall they are, whatever, even if they lied.

And now you take it over to Spokio. And Spokio is an app, my favorite app, where you get a background check on them. Are they really who they are? So you're not just going to LinkedIn, which is like, you know. So I don't recommend any girl going out with anybody unless they screen them because they could be married. And so I had a situation where a friend of a friend of mine was actually my ex friend's ex. And she was dating this great doctor and she didn't know he was married. And she met him on, I think, Tinder or something.

And she saw it on Spokio. Well, I think she found out. So I don't know. But it would have saved her a lot of time and effort. And she's a beautiful woman, gorgeous. If she had Spokio'd him and screened that he's, you know, married or maybe he's divorced. Like I know someone who's dating someone and the woman they're dating hasn't been divorced for 11 years. Now that's a red flag. Now it might not be for the guy because maybe he doesn't want to get married again But for a woman who wants to get married You're dating a guy who's never been divorced

Oh it's a problem Finances Bullshit What if they're not on Spokio? Bullshit The minute you decide we're getting a divorce That divorce better be done in a year A hundred

Because there is no We're not talking Jeff Bezos money here This should be done in a year And even if he had Jeff Bezos money It'd be faster anyway Before you go Tell us where we can find your pheromone perfume money here. This should be done in a year. And even if he had Jeff Bezos money, it'd be faster anyway. Before you go, tell us where we can find your pheromone perfume. It smells beautiful.

Okay, so I'm really excited because we're going into the next phase. Probably going to do makeup next. So Eye of Love is E-Y-E of love dot com. You can go there or you can go on my bio at Instagram. It's called Matchmaker. Make sure you get the Matchmaker one. If you're gay or straight

or fluid, it doesn't matter. So we've made different fragrances for what type of sexual person you want to attract. Is the black one

more of like a masculine scent? No. Actually, some of them, it says on it attract a man or attract a woman. It depends what it is.

There's all different ones. You got a couples kit, I believe. Did you get a couples kit inside? I'll open it when you're talking. Yeah. I think you got a couples kit. I I'll open it when you're talking. Yeah. I think you got a couples kit.

I got the pheromone parfum. Yeah. And then the massage candle. Right. And I'm sending you more stuff. What if I'm already attracted to his pheromones? Is this just going to make it even gnarlier? You're both going to be, like tonight, if you do this, and even if you use the candle,

I don't even want to see what's going on. You better get those kids a babysitter. That's all I can say. Wait, the kids have another room. I'm talking you need a baby what's going on. You better get those kids a babysitter. That's all I can say. The kids have another room. I'm talking you need a baby volume and then let them go to sleep early so that you can have the night to go jiggy. I recommend making a bath first.

Get you calm and relaxed so the day's washed away. Remember, water washes the day away. That's why we take showers at night. Okay? And then you'll be all clean and scrubby and go for it. Spr spray it on. But I have to warn you when you're out in public, both of you,

you're going to get hit on by men and women. Oh, well, sometimes it's nice to be appreciated. Like come home and go, Oh my God. You know, I went to the,

the peel box and the, and the man at the front was really attractive. In West Hollywood, I get hit on a lot. Cause you're, cause you're gorgeous. Like why wouldn't men be hit on you? It's nice to feel appreciated to be honest.

You can come back on the podcast anytime you want. Thank you. Where can everyone find you? Do you want to do a code? Do you want to do code skinny? There's no code on this because we put the discount. It's really cheap. It's already there.

It's like $49.29. It's really cheap. Go shop for perfume. Where can everyone find you? Matchmaker, fragrance. And I have a course. If you want to learn how to become a multimillionaire. I am one. So it's not like something that I'm not teaching you. And how to attract a mate. Just because I'm single, don't judge me. I came out of a bad relationship, even though I love him to

death and I'm leveling up to a different type of man. It's always in refinement, but I always have men around me. So I will tell you that. And I've been asked, I've been engaged before. You can go to my bio in Instagram and check out the course with me and Kathleen Cameron, Love and Money. It's still going on right now. We still have enrollment for it now. There's a VIP section for that. But the fragrance is going to do all the work.

This is a party with a purpose. And what's your Instagram? My Instagram is P-A-T-T-I-S-T-A-N-G-E-R. I'm surprised it took us this long to do this. I know, we've been talking about this forever forever and we're going to talk about podcasting when we leave afterwards. Thank you. Thank you for having me on.

I am so excited. We had fun. Two things before you go. You can watch us now on YouTube. So you can go on YouTube, search The Skinny Confidential and watch our entire episodes on your computer or TV. Also, you should know Michael and I are doing a him and her newsletter. So basically it's a him and her tip of the day, five days a week. And the tips are

very specific as you can imagine. And then we also have a monthly favorites. So basically we collect all our monthly favorites, everything we've bought and used and tried and put it in one monthly newsletter for you. To sign up for that, go to shopskinnyconfidential.com and sign up for the newsletter. Thank you so much for listening and we'll see you next time.