The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - RHONY's Leah McSweeney On Addiction & Recovery, Housewives Juice, & How To Change Your Iife

Episode Date: August 11, 2022

#486: On today's episode we are joined by Real Housewife Of New York star and cast memeber, Leah McSweeney. Leah Christine McSweeney is an American fashion designer and television personality. She founded the women's streetwear line Married to the Mob in 2004, and has starred on the reality television series The Real Housewives of New York City since 2020. Leah joins the show to discuss her journey with addiction, housewives jucie, and how you can change your life. To connect with Leah McSweeney click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential The Hot Mess Ice Roller is here to help you contour, tighten, and de-puff your facial skin and It's paired alongside the Ice Queen Facial Oil which is packed with anti-oxidants that penetrates quickly to help hydrate, firm, and reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, leaving skin soft and supple. To check them out visit www.shopskinnyconfidential.com now. Get The F*ck Out Of The Sun audio book is now available on all major platforms. Get Routines, Products, Tips, and Insider Secrets from 100+ of the World's Best Skincare Gurus HERE This episode is brought to you by RITUAL Protein powders can be intimidating. But the fact is, we all need protein. Get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/skinny . This episode is brought to you by InsideTracker When it comes to your health and longevity, you hold nothing back. You understand what it means to push harder, reach farther, and fo the extra mile. That's why InsideTracker provides you with a personalized plan to build strength, speed recovery, and optimize your health for the long haul. For a limited time, get 20% off the entire InsideTracker store at insidetracker.com/SKINNY . This episode is brought to you by Issue Issuu is the all-in-one platform to create and distribute beatuiful digital content, from marketing materials to magazines, to catalogues and portfolios, and more. Get started with Issuu today for FREE or if you sign up for an annual premium account to get 50% off when you go to issuu.com/podcast and use promo code SKINNY at checkout. This episode is brought to you by Recreation Sweat Recreation Sweat is a fitness company born out of necessity in the pandemic. They're all about quick and effective workouts that you can do anywhere without heavy equipment. Get 20% off your first purchase with code SKINNY at checkout. This episode is brought to you by Branch Basics Branch Basics is a non-toxic cleaning product that is fragrance free, biodegradable, baby and pet safe. It is a one concentrate model that makes laundry detergent, hand soap, dish soap, all-purpose cleaner, and bathroom cleaner. Get 15% off all start kits (except the Trial Kit) with code SKINNY at www.branchbasics.com . Produced by Dear Media

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Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential him and her. I'll tell you something that people don't know about the show. Let me just put it this way. Some shows need to be produced more than others. Ours does not. If a producer tries to step in and say anything, the women will be like,

shut the fuck up. Get the fuck out of our scene. We are not doing what you want. We do this our way. That's why I respect these bitches. One thing that I feel like you guys have learned recently about Michael is he's housewife fan. How is it recently? It's been six years. I've always been a fan. I've always said it. Huge fan. Yeah. I always tune in. I've said it. I pretty much know every franchise.

What's your favorite franchise? I told, i've said this on multiple podcasts alone you gotta pay attention it's new york because new york it just it's got all the flavors which is why i was excited today he loves the dynamic there's nothing more than that you love than a dynamic i just love like the new york attitude like it's so in your face it's so like i don't give a fuck it's not you know well the women are polished. That's not what I'm saying, but you know what I mean? The show has the edge. It has grit. Yeah, it has grit. They go for it.

Yeah, it has depth. And we're a big fan of all the cast and all the characters. They can all come on. Shit, we'll have Ramona on, Bethany Frankel, Luanne, Countess Luanne. Open invite. Open invite. And we got to have Leah McSweeney on. I really, really have a soft spot for Leah because I feel like when she was cast, they wanted to do something different. They wanted to shake it up and evolve the cast. And they sort of went to Leah to do that. She is a total multifaceted person. And I watched her on the show, but I also read her book.

She released her first book, Chaos Theory, Finding Meaning in the Madness, One Bad Decision at a Time. And I re-fell in love with her all over. She talks about her chaos of balancing addiction. She talks about the streetwear world, raves disrupting reality television. She's an entrepreneur, a mom, a pioneer in the fashion industry, and of course, Real Housewives of New York City. So I wanted to extend the conversation that she had in her book to a podcast. So I invited her on and she was absolutely lovely in person. I really enjoyed her. And we talk about all the things in this episode. We go everywhere. You're going to hear about her childhood, growing up, trauma, addiction, all the things

I just mentioned. With that, Leah McSweeney, female entrepreneur, mother, living in New York City. She has Married to the Mob and her latest book. Let's welcome her to the Skinny Confidential, him and her podcast. And Taylor, you better cue The Real Housewives of New York City music immediately. I'm sex positive and BS negative. We have Leah on the podcast. I'm so happy you're here. I've wanted you to come on for so long. So happy to be here. Your book's coming out. I think you're making the trip. Of course. The book is so good, you guys. i have devoured it i like really want to start at the beginning okay because first of all you're so open about how you were expelled from school and you you say

something in here that's really interesting and i feel like michael will appreciate this because he was a horrible student you say that you feel like the school system expels people and it's not the right avenue. Yeah. What do you think about that? Obviously, if someone's violent or someone, you know what I mean? That's a little different story. For instance, in my case, I just needed some extra attention and like care and instead of being expelled, which I was expelled twice. What were the offenses?

OK, the first offense was really nothing. The first offense was like, basically, I was at this very prestigious all-girl private school in New York. We were there on partial financial aid. We didn't have a famous last name. My class, in general, was not great. We were all misbehaving. But instead, they pointed at me. They pinned it on me.

And were like, you need to go. So you were the scapegoat. I was scapegoated. Sorry, I'm like eating this mint. Is it okay that you, is the reason that they did that because there was so many rich, wealthy parents? They couldn't throw out the girls whose parents were donating 500 grand a year. Obviously, don't want to get that wing taken down. Exactly. Yeah, right.

And who are you going to school with? Are you talking about like socialites? Are you talking? Yes, like socialites, like the biggest like last names. Yes. And they were doing bad shit, too. Yeah. And they just pinned it on you.

Totally. So then your parents rip you out of New York City, which I Michael and I talk about this all the time. Like, when is it OK to pull a kid out of school where they're not traumatized? Well, my daughter, we were just visiting Connecticut the other day and we were taking a walk down the street. My daughter goes, I hate this place. And I go, me too. Why? I think Connecticut looks so pretty.

Oh, my God. No, because my daughter's growing up in New York City to Connecticut was probably traumatic it was the it was so traumatic and my parents will not own it they're like a lot of kids move a lot of kids would be happy to move to Connecticut I'm like are you crazy I it was the most depressing thing I was like we went from our view like I on our balcony you could see the Empire State Building. Now, I'm living in like a barn. And the big thing in the town is the $2 movie theater.

And I'm supposed to be happy. I'm used to going to clubs. How old are you at this point when you move to Connecticut? I was about to be 14. And you're used to going to clubs at 14 years old. Yeah. That's wild, too. I know. That is crazy. I mean, looking back going to clubs at 14 years old. Yeah. That's wild too. I know.

That is crazy. I mean, looking back on that, are you like, oh my God, this is crazy. Yeah, because my daughter is about to turn 15 and she's never been in a club. And she lives in Connecticut? No, we live in Manhattan. She lives in Manhattan now and she took her to Connecticut to drive by. Yeah, to visit my parents because they still live there. I was going to say, if the daughter hasn't been to a club, then maybe we're going to Connecticut.

Yeah, live right. Move there. Do was going to say, if the daughter hasn't been to a club, then maybe we're going to Connecticut. Yeah, live right, move there. Yeah. You want to move to Amish country or like? Yeah. Well, no, she's about 14, 15. I'm going to rip her out of school and we're going to go become Amish. So it'll be. Listen, honestly, my daughter is such a well-adjusted, grounded kid that is just smart about things. She doesn't, like I was crazy, but like somehow she is not like me. Thank God. Do you talk openly to your daughter about the things you used to do? Now I do because she's at that age. Of course, it wasn't age appropriate when she was like eight to be like, I did math, you know what I mean? But when she was 12, I talked to her about alcoholism because I relapsed, you know, before I started drinking and I talked to her and was like

I'm gonna start drinking again you've never seen me drink I think I can do it in a responsible way now and she was like crying and then I stopped well the reason I asked you is I had a father that I guess many would consider at the time he was a 60s guy so a crazy guy but he always was very vocal with me told me like everything he did what he experienced and I and I remember going through life and whenever those experiences whatever i would personally encounter them i was like oh okay i kind of had the context so i never went too crazy because he always talked to me about it which is why i think yeah and my parents they didn't tell us shit they didn't tell us anything because i think that that generation's way of dealing with things was to sweep it under

the rug like it never happened and it was almost a shame thing and this generation I think is like this is what I did I'm owning it here's how I got out of it here's the tools this is what it's like meanwhile my whole family I come from like a long line of alcoholics and drug addicts but I didn't know that and also I didn't know that like I had family that had depression like that was a mind that was a game changer for me because I thought I was like weird and fucked up. I'm like, no, this is genetic. You talk about how you found that out in rehab. Yes. So what was your first drug? Do you remember? Was it in New York City? Yeah, it was at Roseland ball well I mean like weed

that doesn't count no I'm talking about more hardcore yeah I was at my first rave at Roseland ballroom and I sniffed speed and you know it was speed yeah and I took like two hits of acid it was crazy what is a rave like I've never been i mean they were the best things in the world like what like it just just like it was just like i don't it was the best i was addicted to them i was at a rave every single night if i could be i mean it sounds fun it was like this that was 96 okay yeah that was 96 it was like like just such an iconic era like like, in New York City also, right? Like, it was just so dope. The music, like, everything was so good. Such good music came out that year.

Like, you know, just everything about the 90s was so good. I remember 60 Minutes doing a special on Ecstasy. I remember that. And it scared the fuck out of me. And it was, like, around that time, and it was all about raves. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I knew one of. I think they had kids on there, too. Like they had some ravers that were on there. And I think I knew one of them, this girl who was from Connecticut, actually. So the second that you try the drug, is it immediate? You're like, this is this is fun. I was like, I was like addicted to everything. The music, the style of dressing, like just all of it. It was a culture. And I'm like, this is where I belong.

I found my people. And this is this. It was such a great escape from what I was feeling, which was like misery in Connecticut. So you get to Connecticut, you go to school and then you end up in rehab. Yeah. And I remember at our school, there was a lot of girls that went to rehab and I was always so intrigued. I want to know what rehab is like at 15 years old.

Like, yeah, from from what your day to day is to the other kids that are there. Did it help? Like, tell us like there was so much there was so much drama. Like this one bitch stole my fucking Liquid Sky T-shirt. Oh, my God. Like, I'll never forget it and ended up making out with a guy that i liked and she was not cute at all i was so fucking pissed off i had a crush on one of the um counselors he had tattoos and he had like a syringe tattoo from

when he was a junkie like going into his arm but then he had all these like a tattoos, too. It was like so weird. My roommate was bulimic and would throw up in the shower. It was so annoying. It was disgusting. I had no I had no sympathy for her at the time. It was a lot of groups like I cried a lot. We did a lot of ping pong. We did rock climbing, group therapy. We would go off site to like a meetings. I remember one kid. We were watching a movie. I think it was like I don't I want to say it was train spotting, but I doubt they would show us that at rehab. But he fucking it was something that triggered him. And he took a chair and like threw it at the window. But it didn't it didn't go through the window because the windows were probably like bulletproof or something. And then later I found out he was waiting on his AIDS test to come back because he was like an intravenous like drug user. But it was negative. But he shared about that,

too. It was intense. Like a lot of kids had been sexually abused and they talked about it. You know, like luckily that's that was not part of my story. But, you know, anything and everything like one girl. The second time when I went back to Karen, I was in extended care with her for, like, three months. And she was having sex with her brother. I mean, there was a lot of, yeah. And actually, one of the counselors, like, was, I don't even know how to say this.

Like, he, like, he was, like, touching us. Like, yeah, it was crazy. Like, I want to say he grabbed our pussy, but I don't want to make a Trump reference. But like you can see he literally grabbed our vaginas like as we were. It was it was nuts. I think a lot of not I don't want to say all, but there's there is a lot of maybe not a lot. There are counselors that go into and pray on young women. We've heard this a lot on the show of counselors getting into the business to pray on young girls.

I've never even said that before, but I almost forgot that it had happened. What was the catalyst to finally get you into rehab at that point? Or is this like, hey, your parents turned around? This was the third. That was like the third rehab. I think I was just like, I couldn't. Everyone had everyone had this is like after senior year everyone had gone off to college i was like because my friends were like good at like like my best friends like they were really good at like doing acid and then like going home and going to sleep afterwards i'd be like no let's

keep going for like weeks or days like for a week you know straight I'd be gone and I'm like I need help and I finally said to my parents like okay now I need to go to rehab you sent me to rehab before but now I need to go the first time you went to rehab you said your parents came for the family weekend and it was so gnarly for them that your dad had to leave yeah he couldn't he couldn't he attended the first day and then he couldn't come back. What did he do? He has his own trauma. Right.

They talk about their family history because his mother was an alcoholic. You know what I mean? So bringing stuff up. Yeah, it was too much for him. I mean, I can't imagine as a parent like you.

It's almost like you have to put your own needs aside and just focus on your kid, which is so hard to. Yeah. Brings up a lot. A lot. So your third time in rehab, what happened after that? Did you stay sober for a while? I did. I stayed sober for nine months, but that's because I was basically institutionalized those nine months because I was at Karen Foundation for three months because I stayed there for the extended care program. Then from there, my parents wouldn't let me come back home.

Like I was like, okay, I've been here for 90 days. I'm ready to come back to Connecticut and like get a job and live a normal life. Maybe I'll go to college. I'll help with Daniel and Sarah. That's my brother and sister. I had a list of things I would do, like feed the cats, like walk the dogs.

Like, you know, I'm going to help. I'm going to be a the cats, like walk the dogs, like, you know, I'm going to help. I'm going to be a good person. I swear. They were like, you're not coming home. That's it. And what was the main reason? It was like because you were such a problem or they didn't want you to influence the other kids.

I think it was like they couldn't. They were like, there's no way. But after three months, after what you've been doing, that you're fine after just three months, like you need longer term treatment. So they found a program that was two years. And I was like, there's no way I can do two years of being in a program. But I had no choice because I or else where would I live? So I went to this therapeutic community, which was run by nuns. OK. Years later, I ended up building a house in that town without even realizing it, which is so full circle. I go and then I left after a week. I was the only girl there who wasn't court mandated.

And I took a Greyhound bus back to New York City and slept on my friend's couch and then found a halfway house to live in. So I lived in a halfway house for then three months so it was a total of nine months sobriety and then right before 9-11 i had gotten out of the halfway house i was living with my grandmother back in the city and i relapsed i got a i got a weird like housewives question when you go through all of this stuff and then you go on the housewives and it's maybe more trivial do you kind of like look at this and be like this is at you know when they're fighting over what you guys are fighting over things and you've been through these types of experiences, like a weird kind of, you know, maybe you're just like not, you've been through such hard shit that you're like, this is bullshit.

I think that like, that's an interest. I probably should look at it like that. But I also feel like this stuff happened to me so long ago. It's a past life. Like we were just talking before, right? About like what it, how cathartic it was like to write this book because this is stuff i haven't like i do carry it with me subconsciously and maybe in a negative way but i don't i don't actively think about this you know it makes sense oh i look at

my childhood as a past life that that makes total sense you're almost detached from it i'm yes i'm 40 years old with the 50 i'm 39 but you know i'm almost 40 i have like an almost 15 year old like you know i have a totally different life but reliving it i've had to relive it by writing it and then my mom it was hard for my mom to read that book because she knew i was out but i talked in like you know i talk i i mean, listen there. I could have put a hundred more war stories in there about going to crack houses in Newark. I mean, like just the craziest shit that I did. That's not what this book is, you know. But just for my mother to read about some of the things of me getting high and stories and stuff.

It was a lot for her. It was a hard time. You talk about in the book how you were getting tested by probation officers. Randy. Yeah, my mom. He saved my life in a lot of ways. My mother loved him. If it wasn't for him, because if I didn't have him,

they signed me over to the state of Connecticut. Your parents did. My parents did. And he was my probation. He was my probation officer. And he was my probation. He was my this idea and how this even happens. I mean, I just was I don't know how I had the idea. I was just like, I need clean urine.

So like I had friends at school that I knew had clean urine and I literally I wore huge jeans because I was a raver. So I would put it in an actual like one of those little pee cup things or a vial that I would get it like science class and put it in my sock and bring it into the bathroom with me so no one's watching you go to the bathroom when you do the p-test no if you could advise parents or i don't know even probation officers how how would you handle this looking back and having perspective i mean i don. I'm not going to give probation officers advice. Don't put a snitch. Don't be a snitch, Lauren. Snitches get stitches. Yeah, true.

I'm still from that generation. Lauren, you're a big tattletale. I think Lauren's a big tattletale. No, I am a tattletale only when it comes to... You're one of the people that got us both kicked out of school all the time. No, I was not. Are you kidding? I'm not a snitch at all. I want to know what to do if zaz is hiding p i mean i mean look like you know with my daughter like yeah like i know like god forbid i have to drug test her one day i'm standing over her watching her you know that

comedian joey diaz if you're seeing him that sounds familiar i know he used to have this probation officer he told this is a random one it's gonna freak you out but he had a probation officer used to watch him pee because he has to take all these drug tests he actually went to prison at one point and he would put this little pouch in the foreskin of his penis with clean urine on it shut up and then he would pull it and he that's how he would do it hold on how big is the foreskin of his penis i've never seen it but i but he would put clean he's gonna have to instagram that that i want yeah that is i don't i don't know okay so it wasn't in the foreskin of like it wasn't i know it wasn't like hiding under one

of the lips you never went to i didn't like put it up my pussy i mean listen like a lot of people do stuff like that obviously i'm sure like isn't it called boo thing i don't know it's like a tampon put it up your asshole well i'm always amazed at like human ingenuity when it comes to this kind of stuff like people i'd be like even if you watch these documentaries on how people get things in and out of prisons and oh my it's crazy you know like they they can we can get every orth you would get really crafty i feel like yeah i'm circumcised though so i'd have to thank you oh so joey Diaz isn't circumcised. He must not be. That's how he can do it. Yeah, he tells a story.

He actually then tells, he actually ended up having an affair with his probation. It's a whole thing, but you have to listen. Oh, that's kind of hot. Go on YouTube and look it up. It's hilarious. So inappropriate and hot. Yeah.

So what happens when the probation officer finds out that you're using- He never found out. He never found out. No, and then once I was 16, I think I was a little older than 16 because my mom tricked me. They both tricked me and kept me on probation longer than I should have been on. Once it was my 16th birthday, I should have been off. And I can't.

Yeah, I think I stayed on for like a few more months. But you actually were on or they just told you you were on? They just told me I was. Yeah. To scare me. So when you're at 19, when your parents say you're out, you're on your own told me i was yeah to scare me so when you're at 19 when your parents say you're out you're on your own you're in a halfway house is that different than a rehab yeah so that's more like a transitional living house so you can go get a job like i got a job

at the guest store on in soho and you know you still like groups, but it's like a couple times a week and it's at night. They do drug test you there. You know, there's a curfew. Were you committed to being sober? Yeah. And at what point do you meet Rob in this? Probably not until like a year after I got out of that halfway house. And when you when you meet Rob for the first time, are you like, hi, I'm Leah.

I'm an addict. Or was that not even like an. Oh, that wasn't even. No, that wasn't even a thing. It wasn't even like nothing. Everybody was like an ad. Like everyone was getting fucked up. It wasn't a big deal.

Wasn't a big deal. He probably like liked that. I was kind of a bad girl. I bet he did. Yeah, he loved it because he know what he was. This is like kind of bad. I didn't put it in the book, but he was dating a girl for four years when we met. But we fell in love right away. And I said we were like it was like love at first sight. And then where were you guys? You got to

tell us the story. So we met at Max Fish, which is like this really like famous skate like downtown art bar, like artist bar. And I was with two friends and I was like oh my god like who is that guy and then I met him again at a life which I talk about in the book and then I saw him again which I talk about in the book at this bar that was like empty and it was just us there and I was like hi and then he wouldn't give me his number he took mine and i my cell phone like hadn't been paid so like i didn't and then cell phones were very new at this point too he called my landline and like left a voicemail of whatever was that what it is a voice message what was on the fucking answering machine this is back in the day i mean this is like weird like fucking crazy and finally

we had a date and then he told me he had a fucking girlfriend. And I was like, dude, I'm not like doing that. Like, no way. I was like, when you break up with her, I probably saw him a few more times. Like it was like a month over a month stretch. And then finally I said, no, I can't do this. Like, I really am into you. So like when you break up with her, you let me know.

And the next day he called me. I was getting ready to like go out and party. It was a Sunday night. And I'm like,. So like when you break up with her, you let me know. And the next day he called me. I was getting ready to like go out and party. It was a Sunday night. And I'm like, he's calling me. And my friend was like, answer the phone. And I answered.

He was like, I told her. And I was like, oh my God. And I'm like, I can't believe he's choosing me over her because she had her shit together. She was a nice girl, but he wanted the bad girl.

When you say you're going out partying at this point, are you using, are you going out sober? Oh yeah I'm using. Once I got out of that halfway house right before 9-11 I relapsed and then I was like two days later 9-11 happens and I'm like definitely I'm getting

fucked up because it was like in the city at that time it was like this nihilistic almost way of living and partying like we don't know if we have tomorrow like It was like this nihilistic almost way of living and partying. Like we don't know if we have tomorrow. Like it was like a very dark, weird time. It was fun because the clubs were so good, but like the towers were gone. It was like holes, two big holes in the ground. Like it was just like a weird time in New York when we were partying like we were like going to live forever. Where were you on 9-11? I was at my grandmother's apartment. What was that like being? Oh my God,

it was so fucking crazy. It was nuts. First of all, my friend Jimmy, rest in peace. He called my landline. My grandmother woke me up. So me and my grandmother lived in a studio apartment and I slept on the bed and she slept in the reclining chair because only because she loved the reclining chair. I would have let her sleep in the bed. You know, she likes to watch TV and fall asleep watching TV. So and this is my grandmother, not my grandmother who passed away while we were filming this past season on Roni, but my other grandmother who passed away years ago. She's like, Leah, you know, the phone is for you. And he's like, Leah, wake up like they're attacking us, like the world's ending. And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? And my grandmother had her remote control and she was like, why aren't my shows on? What is what is this? And she kept pressing. Every channel was the same thing. And I looked and it was just the towers with one hole in it, you know, and I'm like, oh, it must have been. I didn't even think anything. I was like, it must have been a drunken helicopter that flew into it. I didn't realize the size of it, you know, the enormity. And then my mom came by because my mom was in the city that day and she's like, come, come grocery shopping with me.

Who goes grocery shopping when that when this happens? By that time, the second plane hit. So I go downstairs and I'm on 24th Street and 8th Avenue. And it's a busy it's a beautiful day, like a gorgeous, gorgeous day. Everyone always says that. But it was just an amazing, beautiful weather. Everyone on the street is standing still. Can you imagine New York City standing still, looking south on 8th Avenue at the towers? And I looked and they just there they were with two giant holes with just smoke billowing out of them. And I'm all the way, I'm like, you know, 30 blocks up, but you can see

straight down. I go into the grocery store and I'm only there for 15 minutes in the grocery store with my mother. And I come out and all of a sudden I'm walking backwards eighth Avenue. It's like, you know, just 20 feet right there. And everyone is now not looking up anymore everyone's hands are their heads are in their hands and i'm like what happened what's going on some people are on the floor and everyone's crying and screaming and i look and the the fucking buildings are gone they're gone it was crazy it's so it's i remember when that happened we were all the way in california watching on TV. And I don't think people like that were,

didn't have the proximity of someone like yourself. Real, like it's so hard to contextualize what that even be like. And you go in the city now and you look at those buildings, it's like unfathomable to imagine them just crumbling down. It's insane. It's actually insane. I have friends who have crazy stories though,

that lived right there. I mean, insane. Like my friend was pregnant and had to fucking run and jump into a boat like crazy shit. Like she still has the clothes with all the soot on it. Like nuts. Like what? You know, I mean, people people went through so much that day.

Did people shut down in the city or did they connect? We connected. Yeah, we connected. New York was that next day. I remember wearing my I love New York shirt and just like everyone was like we were all on the same team that you know what I mean? We were all New Yorkers. We were all like going to get through it together. Do you think that looking back that that triggered a lot of addicts to relapse? Probably, but a lot of people stayed sober,

too. So I hear that at meetings. People like talk about 9-11 and they'll say they were sober. You relapsed. What was the drug of choice that you relapsed on? I was drinking. So you just went back to alcohol? Yeah. I mean, like, of course, like, you know, there was like definitely blow in the picture. You're drinking like that was just my thing.

Like, I would go do that, too. So when you relapse at this point, do you think it's a big deal to yourself? Are you like, eh, it's fine? So at first I did, but then like literally, I remember relapsing and being like in my apartment, like God, why did I do this? Like dramatic, like on my knees, naked, like praying to God.

And then 9-11 happened two days later. And I was like, okay, whatever. And so what does it look like when 9-11 happens and you're using like afterwards? Yeah. Then you just fucking party like nonstop because you're like, what the fuck is happening to my city and what just happened? And thousands of people just died and thousands and thousands and thousands of peoples are now fucked up because they don't have their relatives. Like, I don't know. The city was it was a nihilistic, weird, very primal partying. And that was when I met like all these

like downtown people to like these graffiti writers that Kat always talks about, like all those guys, you know. And that's when I met Adrian, who owned Mass Appeal. And then I started working at Mass Appeal. So it was almost like I was also becoming who I was. I don't know. Like there was some kind of like birth, rebirth, like during that, not even rebirth. It was almost like a huge growth for me during that time, even though I was drinking.

Did you know Rob at this point? I met him in, I think, March of that following year. Okay. So how long did you use this time until you finally stopped? Stopped. I stopped at 27. And what was the catalyst of that? I had a death premonition. Really? Yeah. Tell us about that. I was on the train coming home from work. And then at this point I had Kiki. She was two years old. I had a business that was very successful. And when you were pregnant, what do you do when you find out you're pregnant? Oh, well, that was it was easy for me to stop drinking when I was pregnant. That's not always the case for people.

I know it's not. We've had people on the podcast that has said it's not easy. For some reason, I just was so the hormones. I was just a happy pregnant woman. Like, I really like I was thriving and living oh why don't you rub it in sorry honey I'm fucking real uncomfortable right now I got some heartburn no I did get a lot of heartburn though okay the baby's like up my esophagus right yeah yeah okay towards the end it was painful are you sure you're not like forgetting some things no I feel like you

there was definitely some uncomfortable moments but emotionally, I felt so like I had a purpose. I probably felt great because I wasn't drinking and doing drugs. That makes sense. You know what I mean? Like that does make sense. Then there was less for me and Rob to argue about because Rob was always on my case about it. Protein oats is all the rage, especially after I work out and a good protein powder is essential. So Ariel lore taught me this recipe. It's basically at like a third of oatmeal and you put it in water and then you put two heaping scoops of protein in it. I add chia seed and hemp seed and then I cook it up and it becomes sort of like the sticky oatmeal concoction. I put it in a bowl. I put almond milk on top and blueberries, and it's like the perfect

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not. You'll get a daily action plan with a personalized guidance on the right exercise, nutrition, and supplementation for your body. And when you connect InsideTracker with your Fitbit or Garmin, you'll also unlock real-time recovery pro tips after you complete your workout. It's like having your own personal trainer and nutritionist in your pocket. For a limited time, get 20% off the entire InsideTracker store. Just go to insidetracker.com forward slash skinny. That's insidetracker.com forward slash skinny. So you're sober during pregnancy. You have the baby. Yeah. And then I quickly was not doing great because I had postpartum. Which is not talked about enough.

So please go off. Oh, my God. I was miserable. Like I was having intrusive thoughts of like hurting the baby accidentally. What if I by accident throw the baby down the stairs or trip and then fall on the baby and crush her? I mean, and you're like just thinking you're watching a show and then this pops into your head. It's like horrible. Or like I was

like making oatmeal and like you see the knives and you're like, what if the knife you're like, it's so like it couldn't happen. It's like what if the knife like got up and then fell out onto the baby? Like you have these thoughts that are like really weird. It's so weird because also you're taking care of a life that is so like dependent on you and like you're completely fully responsible for this totally vulnerable, helpless little thing, you know. And also I literally went from being a teenage delinquent to then like owning a business and being a mom and it kind of all hit me after I had her and I was like like I didn't know how to deal like I was like what like what is happening like this is so much what I have like 100 questions about this what got you out of the postpartum was it just like slowly I mean it's hard to say because, you know, I quit drinking when she was two.

I think I still had postpartum depression when she was like two. Like I still like it lasted a while, but I also was like newly getting sober. So I didn't. And when I quit drinking, I got like the first two weeks I was OK. And then I had round the clock panic attacks and had to like go on a bunch of medication, which then led me into a whole other issue, which I was overmedicated and medic medications. Great. I'm on tons of it, but like it has to help you. Right. You can be on the wrong medication and it is bad. And I was on a lot of wrong medication for a very long time. So I can't tell you when postpartum, but I think the medication was what helped me get out

of it too and just like her getting older and me finally being able to have a life again the intrusive thoughts needs to be talked about more because it's not no one wants to admit that they've thought about like accidentally killing their baby you know what i mean it's it's like it's wild the things that go through your head you know what's strange is like i think everybody even if you're not pregnant man or woman yeah you have those. Sometimes I'll be sitting around and something crazy will pop in my head. I'm like, that's weird, but you can catch it quicker, I think. But maybe when there's something going on when you're postpartum where you can't catch it as quick. It's definitely chemical related because I was having them like so badly recently.

And then I went on Welbutrin and it's so much better. And I also had a brain scan done. Owned by Dr. Amen. Yep. And I saw that. They're the ones that told me that Welbutrin would probably be really helpful. And I fucking went on it. And like instantly all the weird negative thoughts that I couldn't get rid of were gone. But here's the difference with postpartum.

Yeah. One, you're already in a vulnerable state. And two, there's something that's extra intrusive about the baby being hurt. Of course. Because like I could handle it

if like I'm like oh in the car and I'm like oh like I'm going to get in a car accident and my head's going to smash through the window. Yeah. But it's different

when it's a baby that you're taking care of. Yeah and it's your kid. That makes you feel sick. What I'm saying is it's weird because I think like you said all humans have these kind of crazy thoughts none of it's your kid it that makes you feel sick what i'm saying is it's weird because i think like you said all humans have these kind of crazy thoughts none of us want to admit it but like you know and i think you see those thoughts come to fruition with people that can't manage

them right then you see them do terrible things yes but something's going on obviously postpartum when you have the child that makes those thoughts more prominent yeah and harder to control and i wonder if anyone's really done a study on why that occurs i'm sure not a lot of people want to talk about it because it's yeah it's it's it's nobody wants to say hey shameful i felt like looking back i felt shameful that i was having these intrusive thoughts and the second i talked about it on the podcast all these people messaged me well people have like fucked up thoughts like what would happen if you put a baby in a microwave or like all the things that... Yeah, but when you're thinking about your own baby... Sure.

You know, when my niece was born, I had the intrusive thoughts all over again as if I had given birth. And it was so fucked up. I think people don't want to talk about it because they don't want to admit that those thoughts come in their head. But there should be more of a study

because there's a reason these thoughts are happening. We don't figure it out. It has to be hormonal. It has to be... We need to talk to Dr. Amen about it. Yeah, he needs to start doing studies on that. Yeah, that's a good one to talk about. I think a lot of women have that. Okay, so you're postpartum, you're two years in,

you start to drink again. I started drinking again very quickly. And my life was just, I mean, from the outside, it looked great. I had this huge apartment. I I had a daughter. I have successful business. But I was like fucked up inside.

Like I was really miserable and I was really trying to control the drinking. I was like blackout drinking every time I drank. What did Rob say? He was like not I mean, he would like film me when I got home and we would argue and like he would film me to show myself, but also to kind of scare me with like custody things. Maybe you know what I mean? Like, luckily, we're like, you know, that never happened. And I got sober. I had a death premonition and it was like, honestly, like the craziest. It was like, God, I don't like saying that, like, God, like God speaks, God said, basically gave me a message or something because like,

why don't other people get messages or get sober? But I think I was open to it also. And maybe it was just my most inner self being like, this is how you have to survive. You need to stop drinking, you know, like whatever. And maybe your most inner self is God sometimes. But I had a message. I saw my my life without me. I saw my parents and my brother and sister and they were mourning. They were devastated. Their lives were never going to be the same. And I saw Rob and Kiki and they were like, OK, Rob was like handling it and like here. She wouldn't really remember me because she's two. And I was like, okay, Rob was like handling it and like here, she wouldn't really remember me because she's two. And I was like, I'm not living to my birthday this year if I don't stop drinking. And then I didn't take a drink for 10 years. So that's what snapped you out of it, out of the rehabs and everything you went through, that premonition snapped you out of it. Yeah.

And you just, that was it. Yeah. I mean, then I went to, then I started going to meetings and like, you know, that kind of stuff. But yeah. And didn't have a drink for 10 years. I want to go back so you can talk about what happened with the police officer because that was wild. I know.

Like, how did that even happen? I know, it's crazy because I always like kind of talk about it with a lot of like irreverence and like levity. Like, yeah, I got beat up by the cops. Who cares? Haha, I won 75 grand but actually it was like pretty violent and like being like beat up by like three men is like really kind of like traumatizing but yeah i was at a club and the club had been let out and there was like a lot of it was at the hammerstein ballroom so

it's like a huge place with thousands of people you. And there was like a lot of it was at the Hammerstein ballroom. So it's like a huge place with thousands of people, you know. So there was like a thousand thousands of kids like getting like let out of this place, whatever. I was like, I think 19 or 20 when this happened. And I was making out with this guy saying goodbye to him. And all of a sudden he's getting beat up by like five police officers. And I had noticed that there were cops kind of trying to clear the street, but I like didn't pay attention too much.

They start beating the shit out of him for no reason. Like no reason. We were just standing there doing nothing. We were kissing. And I had an empty water bottle, a half empty water bottle, plastic. And I just throw it at their direction.

It was almost like just an instant, like a reflex. Like I didn't, wasn't thinking about it. And it hit a cop in the back. And I almost like just an instant, like a reflex. Like I didn't, wasn't thinking about it and it hit a cop in the back and I was like, oh, fuck.

And I was like, maybe he didn't notice. He turned around and looked right at me and just lunged at me and fucking clocked me. Jeez.

Yep. And I spun around and landed on the sidewalk like half on the sidewalk which is the subway grates are there so I was half

off the sidewalk and then my half of my upper half was on the sidewalk on the subway grates and I felt all these people on my back and I got handcuffed

and then while I'm handcuffed I had a half ponytail and the cop grabs my ponytail and slams my head into the ground the grates and he goes

see what happens when you fuck with me you little bitch and i felt my tooth come out and they stood me up and i had been knocked down on the ground so hard that my shoes flew off so i was barefoot which even that was the most disturbing thing to me was being barefoot on like the street in new york i was like that was like the worst part i was like give me my shoes and I looked at this female cop and I'm like look what he did to my tooth and she's like if that was me I would have knocked all your fucking teeth out and I was like oh I'm fucked so they take you in they take me in a lot of fucked up shit happens when I was locked like in the cell like there was a giant roach like a giant water bug and i was screaming and one of the cops came in and he was like if you don't shut if you

don't stop screaming i'm gonna take all your clothes off no way yeah so what did you do i was like i just shut up and then i said to the guy because the boy the dude not boyfriend but the guy that i liked whatever he got we both got arrested so he was in the cell next to me so i could only hold his hand and talk to him and he was like that's so fucked up i can't believe they just said that to you don't worry i'm here you know what i mean like we were and then they like wouldn't they like were acting like their cameras were broken because i had like a black eye you know and they didn't want to like take my picture then they brought brought us to Central Booking. Well, actually, they brought in a bunch of people.

It was so gross. They brought in a pimp who had like explosive diarrhea in one of the cells next to us. It was horrible. It was honestly really horrible. And me and the guy, I'll just call him John. That's not his name. Me and John, John was like holding my hand like, babe, this is so gross. I'm like, this is disgusting. Like, this is so nasty. And the pimp was like making all these noises. And he had no shame. Oh, he didn't give a fuck.

He did not care. Then they bring us all the central booking at like fucking, you know, eight in the morning or 10 in the morning. And I'm like getting like ready to go in. And you have a psych test. They're like, have you ever thought about harming yourself and I was like yeah I guess so

at some point and they're like oh can't say that whoops then they bring me to Bellevue Hospital and fucking handcuffed me to a chair in the emergency room of the psych unit and just leave me there they just leave me there like the cops leave me handcuffed and some

crazy person comes in who's like i'm here for an x-ray and like the people that work they're like yeah sure you are don't worry just take your shoelaces out of your shoes and he's like no i'm here for an x-ray of my elbow and they're like no you're not actually and they're like miss you need to get out of here now and i'm like i'm handcuffed i can't get out of here. And then they like grab they stood in front of me because he started going nuts, you know, and they grabbed him and then they gave him a shot. And then he was like, like passed out on the gurney. And then finally, I went in front of the judge at two in the morning. And this is on the 4th of July, which I found ironic. But, you

know, at one point they finally brought me to another precinct after Bellevue and I was like doing sit ups. And I was just thinking, like, how is this your life, Leah? Like, you need to get it together. Yeah. But at what point did you realize that the cops also had some accountability to take the next. So when. OK, so while this was while I was being beat up, people were calling 9-1-1 about on the cops. When that happens, the civilian complaint review board gets contacted. They contacted me. Then I knew to get a lawyer.

The problem is that I got a lawyer that I think they suggested and they tried fucking up the whole lawsuit. And I finally got another lawyer, thank God, the day before that it was the last day to sue them. So the lawyer goes in and says, they knocked her tooth out. we punched her yeah yeah i ended up needing a nose job well correct no that i just got for fun oh i thought you got one because

i thought the cop broke your nose no no no he didn't break my nose he just knocked my one of my teeth out okay but on housewives later you got that for fun yeah i just had that for fun i got it yeah okay hey listen yeah that sounds kind of good though but yeah no i just got it for fun we sued them i won 75 000 i used it i had already started married to the mob my clothing line i already started it but i didn't have any like capital like i was just like you know getting by on like nothing i won the 75 000 and what it what it helped me do was it helped me quit my job which at the time was working at rob's store by the way and put my full time into the brand and i bought a computer and simultaneously you're are you you're not sober i'm not sober okay, so you put the money into your brand. It grew.

It fucking like within, yeah, it was, I just hit it the right time, the right place. Thank God for my brand though. Because like, honestly, that was like my education. That was like my MBA. That was my, you know, I got to learn so much through having this company. But also I think what's cool about your brand is it's like you almost content marketed before because you were at the raves. You were hanging out with like the graffiti street artists. So it made sense for you to launch that.

And it was the first ever women's streetwear. Is that right? I mean, people like get mad at me when I say that. But like I kind of, but yeah, you said it. So it's fine. You know, in that, listen, in that genre, mean people like get mad at me when i say that but like i kind of but but yeah you said it so it's fine you know in that always take the listen in that genre it was like of course there were female brands that came before me that i looked up to but when it comes to like street wear if you want to like get specific yeah well i also think it's cool because you're very feminine and beautiful and blonde with blue eyes and it's almost like the juxtaposition of it all. It's funny because people would be like, you're the owner. I'm like, yeah,

they would like us, though. Yeah, I guess. I was like, OK, yeah, yeah, motherfuckers. Bitch, I elevate this shit. So that's my cop story. Thank you, NYPD. So has your experience with the cops been easier since then? Yeah. I mean, I haven't been arrested. And look, there were times where, not me specifically, but like I had friends who like needed, we needed the police, you know? And luckily they were good and they were there.

It was an unfortunate. It was an unfortunate incident. I mean, I also think that there needs to be a little bit, I don't even know what the right word is, but when a male cop is dealing with a woman, it's different, I think. Right, it's it's like hi are you seriously like punching me like what the fuck and like slamming my head into the subway grades like you psycho well there needs to be also a lot

more like mental health evaluations like for police like you know there's not enough of that they're dealing with a lot of crazy shit they see see a lot of crazy shit every day, you know? So there needs to be a lot more. The problem with that, like that profession to me is so crazy because one, it's extremely dangerous, right? You're dealing with some of the hardest people to deal with in the world. You're trying to use judgment. But like, imagine like, you know, we go, you go through the full eight hour workday just

in a normal job and you get burned out. Like, imagine that job. Imagine you have to. I'm not defending all cops i'm just saying you know of course you have to look at dead bodies you have to look at children who've been molested abused starved you have to see just the fucking like lowest shit ever like the the the most horrific parts of the human experience you have to see well then you then you have the public which is listen there this yeah the public who's like fuck you we hate you well yeah and you have to perform perfectly all the time right right can't make any mistakes it's a very hot topic you know and i think

that in new york city we're seeing well you see it now the blowback yeah of course in in la too right like yeah it's one of the reasons that i we bailed out of it right it's whether however you feel about the police whatever that's not the but there is got to be some kind of acknowledgement of the danger that exists when there's not policing and also it's like not like obviously in every group of people there's going to be some bad people in that group it doesn't mean the entire group is bad and of course we're living in such an extreme type of world and everything is so polarized that it's like, you know, it just,

it's just, then all cops are terrible. Well, I feel like the cop that obviously punched you like that is maybe somebody that sucks and maybe shouldn't be a cop. Right. Yeah. But I feel bad because a guy like that gives the good one such a bad name.

And there's a lot of guys, girls too, that go into that profession that good one such a bad name. And there's a lot of guys, girls too, that go into that profession that want to help and be good. Look, I will say the NYPD, listen, there's plenty of fucked up. Like I've,

there are a lot. It's a, the union is crazy. They get away with a lot of stuff. There's that code that's the wall of blue or whatever it's called. Like you never, you know, you can't call, you can't call out

any of your other cops for doing anything because then you look bad you know so i don't know where what it's like in other places but like yeah the nypd i don't know i have a you know i have a yeah they knocked your fucking tooth out yeah i have a weird relationship with them yeah it is though with every single thing there's there and bad. Yes, of course. You're not going to get all good and you're not going to get all bad. That's kind of like you're so right.

Everyone wants to be so black and white and extreme about it. And it's like sometimes there's a lot of gray. Yeah. My fear though is like the amount of ridicule

especially now that they go through like imagine the crop of people that are going to go into that job at this point. Who wants to be a cop? Yeah. I mean. So now I fear we're going to get even worse i know right because it's like going into politics like people say oh you should go into politics like you'd have to there's not a

number in the world that i would go into politics for right that's the problem that's why all politicians are terrible yes you get you get people that would like rational people that are like i don't i'm gonna go something else. I'm going to finance. That's why I like Andrew Yang. I like Andrew Yang. He's cool. Yang gang. I want to know after 10 years of sobriety, was that when you were approached by housewives?

So I started drinking again. Before housewives? Yes. Okay. And then was approached. You were friends with Tinsley? Is that why you were approached? No, no, no, no. Yes. Okay. Mm-hmm. And then was approached. You were friends with Tinsley? Is that why you were approached? No, no, no, no. Different.

Yeah. I had the same facialist as Bethany Frankel. And so Bethany started following me on Instagram because like on my podcast that I had years ago, I had this thing called Fuckboy of the Week. And I gave her ex Fuckboy of the Week. And I gave her ex Fuckboy of the Week. And I guess she found out and then started following me because she liked that. And then I started following her and whatever.

We're just following each other. We didn't have any kind of relationship. But my facialist called me one day and was like, okay, Bethany Frankel is my client, which I had never known. I've been going to her forever. Do we need to go to the facialist? You can't talk about a facialist on this podcast

and not tell me who it is. Her name is Ingrid is ingrid sung okay she's amazing go look her up she's wonderful so she's like oh bethany wants me to ask you would you mind if she gives your name to the real housewives people i was like i yeah sure but they're never gonna pick me like like i'm not rich like i'm not from the upper East Side I actually can't stand the Upper East Side I'm like and then in my in my in my like casting thing I said I'm anti-socialite and I was like oh I'm never making it on that show but here I am so the drinking had nothing to do with the housewife no but but I but I will say that, like, you know, I don't know, maybe maybe who knows. Maybe I would have like quit sooner.

Maybe I wouldn't have if it wasn't for the show, because. Once I found out I was going to do the show, I was like, oh, and I'm drinking. This is going to be bad, like, you know, but I couldn't stop you when you decided you were going to start drinking and you had the conversation with your daughter did you know it was going to be a recipe for disaster did you think I can I really truly like any good alcoholic forgotten all the crazy times or bad times and was like I'm in such a but listen I was in such a different place and I just I had stopped going to meetings like all those things like I had stopped doing all those things to keep reminding myself of what I am. I did truly think, OK, let me try it and see if I can do this in a way that's not so harmful. And it works for like a couple months.

Yeah, that's what I always wondered. Does it does it work for a little bit of amount of time? But like like literally only like a month. And then it was like, I'm drinking so much to the point where I'm puking all over Williamsburg and flashing everyone and, you know, putting shit up my nose. So it's like it went downhill quick. So when you get on Housewives. Yeah, I was like, oh, fuck. And everything is filmed. Yeah.

What was the moment that you watched Housewives where you were like, oh, fuck. And everything is filmed. Yeah. What was the moment that you watched Housewives where you were like, oh. I quit before the show aired. You quit the show? No, I quit drinking before the show aired. I stopped drinking on March 31st. The show aired April 2nd. But, okay, so I actually remember you being sober in the beginning and then we saw you start

drinking wine no because what happened was like i was struggling with drinking you know what i mean like so maybe in the beginning of the show i said i'm not drinking today but then like i drank but i'd already been drinking for months before you you know? And then like, I drank the entire season. We stopped filming. The pandemic happens in March. I stopped drinking March 31st. And then the show airs

April 2nd. Is what I'm trying to say. So it's not like I watched, it's not like I watched the show and was like, I'm so fucked up, I need to stop. Got it. When you were on the show with the Tiki Torch scenes, it is iconic.

That was a great one. I mean, yeah, I have no regrets. Lauren, I love it when our partners are generous with their codes. And this one's a whopper, 50% off. If you are somebody that creates content online, which means if you're a person that is living and breathing, because everybody's creating stuff online now, whether you're creating a resume, online content, social content, whatever it may be, whether you work with a team, or you work with yourself, you're constantly obviously creating stuff that goes online. It's where we live now, which is why I love issue. First impressions

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like you're so just a position for the show and like it's exactly what it needed thank you and to see you at her house that she's so like anal and every all the placemats are out yeah i know straws match like the yeah here comes leah you know like the picnic table and then you came out and just like burned it to the ground no like literally actually what was that like during and after I think I was like really feeling weird about being there I like didn't like that Hamptons party we went to the night before it was like very weird I don't know if you remember like I was like I was like eyes wide shut. Like I felt very uncomfortable. Like I like the Hamptons, but I hang out in Amagansett, not South Hampton.

It's like a little different, you know, like I was just like, this is not my type of people. Like this is not who I want to chill with. You know, this is fucking weirdo ville. And I was like, it's a pressure cooker when you're in that situation. And then drinking drinking you know like so by the time then the tiki torches I was like just fuck these fucking tiki torches like I hate these things you know then I was like drinking and then I was just like fuck this like this is I don't know something just went in my I was like, I need to explode and take my clothes off and throw tiki torches.

I just I don't know. Something came over me. I can't. I was wasted. But I also was just like still like I hate these tiki torches. I hate the Southampton shit. I hate that party we went to. I just want to fucking like lose it.

Who was the most mad at you besides Ramona the next day? Honestly, nobody was really mad at me they like probably liked it because it made a good show probably like they're like oh and how did the audience respond when they saw oh they loved it yeah i mean it was it's a scene i couldn't believe it like i was like whoa like re-watching it or like watching it i was like oh my god it was primal yeah it was exactly it was very primal that was like me very primal like the thing is like this is sometimes how i explain me being drunk it's like i want it's like the primalia you know but there's all these rules obviously that you have to follow

in society and you know etiquette and whatever just dealing with people you're not going to just take your clothes off at a party and just start throwing tiki torches but like maybe back in the day like as a cave woman or something i would have been acting like that when you get sober on housewives there's like a whole different layer of stuff that you have to go through yeah i mean you guys were dealing with race last season. Oh, right. Yes. I mean, that was like, that was so different than what the audience was used to. Yeah. I mean, that was a whole thing. And then also you were dealing with your grandmother's death.

Oh, God. That was like, that was the difficult part for me. Everything else was like, whatever. How did you navigate all of that with the pandemic and COVID? With the pandemic. I mean, I, you know, I tried my best. It was hard. I was like trying out different depression medications during that time and then trying

to film and also being like, I'm trying to get the women to understand Ebony's side, but I'm also trying to get Ebony to chill out a little for the women and then not knowing like where I stand and like not really feeling like I had any friends on the show because like Dorinda and Tinsley were are gone and those were the two I was closest with it was fucked up so what and also like I didn't really want to do it like I didn't want to do the show no why because I was depressed who wants to be like yeah who wants to be like it yeah who wants to be filming but it's your job but it was my second season so I wasn't like as used to it as maybe someone else would have been and I couldn't like compartmentalize things you know so I was just like I tried my best what's something that

would surprise the audience about housewives that you guys have to do the most surprising thing is probably that like what you don't see is the crazier shit you cannot say that to me sorry what well like what do you mean what we don't see either how is this stuff that's just not kosher for television new york is the best so like what do you how can it get crazier it just does i do feel like your cast is michael loves housewives has alcohol problems. Maybe. Maybe.

You said it, but no. For some reason, they... Yeah, for some reason, like, New York gets the drunkest. No, I... God, this is going to get me in trouble. I mean, I think... I always tell Lauren, I think, like, your cast is most interesting because it seems like all the people are so different, but they have a ton of depth.

Yes. Like, they're all... Complicated. Yes. They're complicated. Yeah. It's not, like, so surface. There's a lot of stuff going on. Like they're all complicated. Yes. Complicated. Yeah. It's not like so surface. I actually like it for a different reason than that.

I like New York the best because they say straight to the person's face what they're thinking. So with all the other cast, they say it in their confessional. I know. You guys say it's like with Ramona's annoying. You'll say it's straight to her face. I think it's just that New York attitude. I like love that.

That's what's so attractive to me about New York. We're not trying to like look like the best or look like the, I don't know. Like I feel like with Beverly Hills, like everyone's like, our lives are perfect. Yeah, exactly. Even though I like watching it. But like New York, I'm just like fucking me all. We let it all hang loose. I mean, I like cannot wait for for the next season i have to admit whenever that happens you guys didn't have

a reunion nope why scheduling issues is that really the real reason that's the only reason i know also like with covid and everything in quarantine i mean i think that it was because like we didn't have great ratings and then they were like what are we gonna do there's nothing to even talk about or like i don't know this is what i'm assuming anyone have great ratings with the covid stuff it was very awkward to watch this is what i think the reason yeah we couldn't do we couldn't do anything the new york was shut down we couldn't even eat in restaurants it's like manufactured like where do we it was horrible there's two parts i think that that there was a lot of heavy topics to cover and i think people as you know tune into the show yeah they want to escape space out and so it's like escapism

and that the show was like very heavy topics this time but also i think that the reason jersey has such high ratings is because they show the men and let me tell you what I mean. No, I don't. Okay, go on. Listen, I don't want to see the men in every season and every show. There's something about the men in Jersey that adds depth to the show because they're kind of catty too to each other and they have like their own like women's group.

Yeah, they have their own little thing going. Some shows need to be produced more than others. Ours does not. Okay, that makes sense. If a producer tries to step in and say anything the women will be like shut the fuck up get the fuck out of our scene we are not doing what you want we do this our way i mean i respect these bitches when sonia comes across when sonia said she has a fat pussy, I was like, God, I love this show.

Yeah. I know. It's like, it is not produced. It's not. That's the thing about New York. It's not. Okay, so maybe it's just like we need more escapism.

We just need more escapism. We need more women. You know what I mean? There was only five of us. I do like to see who you guys are dating, whether it's a man or a woman. I wasn't dating.

No one's dating during a pandemic. mean i have a crush now but like i haven't been dating like why can't you date your boxing coach he's so cute oh my god are you crazy he's so cute you're so funny he's so sweet he's the best but he's like my soul family i mean he's special he is can he be a housewife though? I would like if he was more on housewives. Oh, me too. You know where I think a lot of these, I mean the content business obviously, I think a lot of these companies get in trouble is they forget the reason that the audience is there in the first

place and they try to put things into shows that shouldn't be there. When they come in to produce, let you guys be who you actually are, but when you start interjecting weird storylines or things that shouldn't be in there, things that people aren't really looking for in a Housewives franchise,

it goes astray. And it's like, the audience is like, what the fuck is this? It's not what I came to watch. It's the same thing. Like, you know, we produce a lot of podcasts around this thing. And I always tell people,

remember why people are listening in the first place. They're not, some people don't have to have a hot take on everything. Totally. Oh my God. Right. I know. right i know it's like yeah it doesn't always you don't need to comment on everything i'm such a big believer in that like because there's some people i'm like just shut the fuck up people do it to us all the time but like what is your take on this i'm like my take is i don't i'm not the guy for the take on that particular thing exactly not all the time everyone needs to have a take yeah there's sometimes better people equipped to handle certain topics or not everyone needs to have a statement not to mention they

forget that the audience doesn't want that take from certain people yeah also i'll say this too sometimes something happens where i do feel like okay i should give my take but i don't give my take right away i need space and time to think about my opinion yes instead of just looking at what everyone else is doing informing my like their opinion like for instance I don't have a take on Will Smith slapping Chris Rock I just don't have a take on it well he should have put like his back foot I don't have a take on that I just don't you know you know what I don't have a take on it either yeah yeah like they can figure it out you don't have a take on that. I just don't. You know? You know what? I don't have a take on it either. Yeah. Like they can figure it out.

You don't have a take on everything. I like that. You decided to convert to Judaism. Yes. How does that even happen? It's so interesting. I'm Jewish now, which is so great. And I'm so happy.

Thank you. From a young age at Catholic school, I didn't feel, I felt like I was praying to God. But I always questioned people. I didn't feel I felt like I was praying to God, but I always questioned people. I don't know. I don't mean to like then I'm not meaning to be disrespectful at all. But the Jesus thing, I didn't fully like I believe he was a person, but I just there was a lot of things I questioned about Catholicism, you know, and I just as I got older, I realized I was praying to the same God that the Jews pray to. And I also then read a book called The Red Tent when I was like 20.

That again, I was like, I feel connected to Judaism. Then I started working in the garment district and I had business partners who were like religious Jews and there were rabbis there all the time. I learned about all the holidays and all the traditions and everything and even asked a rabbi to be my spiritual coach, but he couldn't because he was like very like Orthodox and I was dressed slutty, whatever. Then I took a couple years out and started going to a Hare Krishna temple, which is very Jewish of me, actually, in a lot of ways. Finally, the February before COVID, right, the month before COVID, I was at a dinner party and I was with a few friends and I said to my friends, I am converting. I'm doing this.

And they're like, are you serious about it? And I'm like, I am. And they're like, we're going to give you rabbi's names. And that was it. And you love it. I love it. That's cool. I just had my first Passover. It was great. Hannah was there. You're doing to what works for you on your own terms. And that's the other thing. I think part of it is about reclaiming my life, having my own thing. I don't know. It's just a beautiful religion. You mentioned mental health earlier. You went to Dr. Amen. Yeah. If someone's out there who's struggling and listening you mentioned like over prescribing what are some like anything that you use in your toolbox that you think has really helped with anxiety and depression oh my god I have a lot of things I've tried it all

you know exercise is such a huge huge part of it like getting your boxing with me boxing boxing with my future husband no yes boxing I actually started boxing when I first got sober in 2009 finding an exercise routine or a new um sport that you can pick up and do but those natural endorphins are no joke I also I do a gratitude list like every morning or night, depending. And I send it. I have a person that I like text it back and forth. I meditate, which I started doing. That's kind of a recent thing.

And that I was doing for anxiety. And it really fucking works. Then I stopped doing it for like a week and I started feeling weird. And I'm like, all right, let me go back and do it. I have an app, the Sam Harris app, not to like plug him, but whatever. That's what I use. He's great. Exercise, meditation, like therapy. And also you have to advocate for yourself with these doctors because every doctor, you go to five doctors and they're going to give you five different medications that they think you should be on. So if something is not working for you, of course, you have to give it like a week

or two. But if you're feeling worse than before and they keep trying to give you more of it, do not fuck that because I've lost like seven months out of my life doing that with a doctor. You have to advocate for yourself. Be like, be your own guru. You have to be your own fucking guru too.

You can't just listen to everyone else. I mean, there's some incredible doctors, but I think it's valid in that profession to also say how much we don't know yet still. Well, because every brain is different. Every brain is dealing. Oh, you know, I actually recently I'm doing this this gene thing where you take a test. They swab your cheeks and then they tell you which depression or anxiety or mood stabilizer you should be on.

Even though I think I'm on a good combo right now, but I'm just, I'm, I'm trying, I'm making sure all my. That's the other thing. It's smart to test, smart to do your blood, smart to do your genes,

your hormones, like all of that stuff, because we're all made up differently. But, and that's why I think so many people have such a hard time accepting of one size fits all approach when it comes to medicine. Right. Because something that may work for you may not work for Lauren or me.

Exactly. And also, and I talk about this in the book, going to the mental hospital was like the best thing I ever did because when I was there, well, first of all, the doctor there, the head of the place took me off all this medication that I was on. Then I also saw the difference between what I have, which whatever I don't like, I'm supposedly bipolar too, but I don't like labels because I feel like they like are like hurtful and harmful. Sometimes the difference between what I had and then some other people in the hospital had was like, they not just like they couldn't tell the difference between reality and delusion you know and luckily I can and I realized in that moment that they were

things in my power that I could do to keep me and my mental health in a good place some stuff is out of my control but there are some things that are in my control, like who I surround myself with, what kind of relationships I get into, what kind of men I have sex with, what I eat, when I decide to go to sleep, how much I exercise. There's all these things that I can do. And am I still going to have to deal with my depression and anxiety and whatever bipolar two issues I have? Yes, I guess yes but there are certain things that will make it a lot better and they're in my power that's a great note to end on but before you go i have the main question can you and kat marnell start a podcast together please are you guys gonna do it for us yes if you make that call please do it you two together because hold on it's chaos theory me and my sister tried to do a

podcast and sell it to you guys and we were you tried to sell it to here i think so i think i had a meeting with i think i had a zoom meeting with two now you can talk people michael and they were like no and it was and it's a dope i it's a dope fucking concept i wonder who that was i wasn't there fire them no i'm kidding yeah okay they're fired tell me get me their names they're demoted or fired I'm totally kidding we need a chaos theory podcast what if what if in like a week

you're like oh shit those people got fired they're out of a job they're on the street no I don't want them fired I'm just kidding it's not gonna happen I don't want them fired

chaos theory podcast I'm telling you with you your sister and Kat well listen I can have I can do two podcasts one with my sister which is called Mentalverse

and then one with Kat that's called Chaos Theory. Please. I'm totally into it. How to murder your life with chaos, a side of chaos theory. Fucking the rats that are on her.

She's talking about the cockroach, the roach. The roach can make an appearance. I know, I know. The pimp that's shitting? The pimp with the explosive diarrhea. You get the pimp with the explosive diarrhea and we get a contract.

I will pitch the podcast. I'm telling you, I would die for a podcast. Bring Julia Fox on. Oh yeah, of course. I heard you know her too. Get everyone on. Get the street artist on.

Let's go. I'm telling you. Let's fucking go. It would be a chaotic, amazing podcast. We need a New York office though. Listen, that's on my... It's on the way. Yeah the way yeah you know it's funny hurry the fuck up michael i need them to do a podcast obviously like la was the first thing we were we had our ambition there but then the

pandemic hit and i was like okay i'm gonna pump the brakes yeah and then selfishly i was like i just need to time to go hard la so we came here but it's still it's on the it's on the horizon you can have luanna you know? Because I still say this confidently, New York City is still my favorite city in the world. Thank you. Mine too. And I think it's going to come back just the same, if not stronger. I don't think the same for LA. I just, I'm sorry. Like I grew up in California, but I think New York will always be New York because of the people. Exactly. It might take some time. You got it's going to take some. Oh my God, it's crazy. Even with all the crime,

even with the taxes, even with everything, I'm like, I'm not leaving here. I'm not. This is where I want my daughter to grow up. This is where I want to be.

Let's bring it full circle and say that Red House Wives is going to come back in New York full circle too. Yes. And of course it is. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Because I'll, I need that. It's coming back. too. Yes. And of course it is. Yeah. Yes.

Yeah. Because I'll I need that. Don't worry. Married to the mob. Where can you get your clothing line, your book? We're going to do a giveaway for your sweater called Bitch, I'm Elevated. No, Bitch, I Elevate the shit. Bitch, I'm Elevated.

I have a pregnancy brain. Bitch, I Elevate the shit. What color is the sweater? There's a I think there's a tie dye one. I can't. Yeah, there's a few different colors. Can we There's a, I think there's a tie dye one. I can't. Yeah. There's a few different colors. Can we do a signed copy of your book and a tie dye?

Bitch, I elevate the shit. Yes. That was such a good line. Yes. All you guys have to do is follow at Leah mob. Okay. And married.

And then at married to the mob is my streetwear line. And then there's happy place, which is my sustainable sleepwear line, which we have amazing robes. I'm going to send you guys stuff. You're going to love it. And there's like baby blankets and shit. Send me like an extra large right now so I can just wrap it around my stomach.

You're going to be very cozy in it. I love it. Where can everyone find all of your stuff? You can just go on my Instagram and there's literally links to everything. So at Leah Mob on Instagram is probably the best place to go. I loved your book, you guys. I would definitely recommend it to everyone who is listening. There's a lot of stuff that we didn't even talk about on this podcast. If I don't see you on Housewives next season, I'm going to like, no, you need to come talk to me. OK. Or you need your own podcast.

Well, why? We're doing a podcast regardless. Leah, thank you so much for coming. Thank you for having me on. Really appreciate it. Attention all teachers, or maybe you know a teacher. Maybe there's a teacher in your family. I am doing clear the list. So what you're going to do is you're going to head to my latest Instagram at Lauren Bostic, and you're going to tell me about why we should clear your list. So we are posting it on our social and we are trying to get your list cleared. Okay. Tell us about you. If you're a teacher, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your husband, whatever it is, tell us about all the teachers. I think this is a fun way to engage the community. And if you don't know what clear the list is, it's an incredible program to get

teachers the supplies that they need. All you have to do, like I said, is go to at Lauren Bostick and tell me about why I need to clear your list on my latest post. On that note, make sure you check out Leah McSweeney's book, Chaos Theory. It's on Amazon and it's a good one. See you next time. One thing that I was so serious about when I moved to Austin was completely making over my cleaning supply situation. I, after interviewing the owner of Symbiotica, found that I was really attracted to when he was talking about how the home is a place where you're supposed to detox.

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