The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Sage Robbins On Mindfulness, Holistic Healing, & The Secrets To Emotional Mastery

Episode Date: August 4, 2025

#873: Join us as we sit down with Sage Robbins – motivational speaker, wellness advocate, former actress, & the wife of life coach, Tony Robbins. With a blend of grace & strength, Sage has been a transformative force both on stage & behind the scenes at some of the world’s most impactful live seminars. Known for her deep work around emotional well-being, mindfulness, & holistic healing, Sage guides others through personal breakthroughs & relationship blocks in real time. In this episode, Sage opens up about creating emotional safety, self-regulation tools to stay grounded, taking ownership in relationships, the power of mindful meditation, how to live more authentically, & what it truly means to lead with love. She also shares details about the She’s Unstoppable Summit – a free, 3-day virtual experience dedicated to self-care, rising with grace, & living life on your terms.   To Watch the Show click HERE   For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM   To connect with Sage Robbins click HERE   To connect with Lauryn Bosstick click HERE   To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE   Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE   Head to our ShopMy page HERE and LTK page HERE to find all of the products mentioned in each episode.   Get your burning questions featured on the show! Leave the Him & Her Show a voicemail at [phone].   Awaken the unstoppable you and join the She’s Unstoppable Summit! To register and learn more about this opportunity visit http://shesunstoppablesummit.com.   This episode is sponsored by The Skinny Confidential Optimize your daily beauty routine. Shop The Skinny Confidential Brow Peptide and subscribe today at https://shopskinnyconfidential.com/products/brow-peptide.   This episode is sponsored by Thorne Ready to level up your performance? Check out Thorne’s Magnesium Bisglycinate and more at http://Thorne.com.   This episode is sponsored by Opill Opill is birth control in your control, and you can use code SKINNY for twenty five percent off your first month of Opill at http://Opill.com.   This episode is sponsored by Taylor Farms Learn more at http://TaylorFarms.com.   This episode is sponsored by Bon Charge  Go to http://boncharge.com and use coupon code SKINNY to save 15%.    This episode is sponsored by CORT Furniture Build your own furniture rental package today at http://cort.com/podcast. Produced by Dear Media

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to another incredible episode of the Skinny Confidential Him and Her Show. Today we're sitting down with a woman who rarely steps into the spotlight but whose presence is unmistakably felt on the world's biggest stages. Sage Robbins is the grounded soulful force beside one of the most powerful voices in personal development, Tony Robbins. But beyond being his wife and partner, Sage is a powerhouse in her own right.

A wellness advocate, speaker, former actress, and deeply intuitive guide, she helps people move through emotional blocks and reconnect with who they really are. In this conversation, we go where most interviews don't. We'll talk about emotional safety, what it's like to love and lead alongside someone as fiery as Tony, how she supports herself in a world that moves fast and what it really means to regulate your nervous system in 2025. Get ready to meet the woman behind the mission and maybe discover a part of yourself along the way with that Sage Robbins. Welcome to the skinny confidential him and her show.

This is the skinny confidential him and her. I am expecting a full blown butler service for the next week. Just so you know, I want concierge. I want anything I need at all times. Like I want to get one of those bells. So nothing's changing like at all. It's just basically. Are you that guy? No. I try to be that guy. I do my best, but I would say maybe I miss my calling as a butler. You missed your calling.

I miss my calling. Put onler. You miss your calling. Dust off your old uniform. So I'm so excited to have Sage Robbins on the podcast because we've had her husband, Tony Robbins on, which I think is the him aspect. And now we get the her feminine energy on the podcast and we get to see how you guys work, live, collaborate together, all the things. My first question is kind of random. I always wonder how both of you guys, and I would love to hear your way, how, how you show up for so many people who are coming with the intention to heal.

And in a space where there's so many people people you almost have to zip up your energy. How do you prepare yourself for that? Well, for myself, I meditate, I pray, and I feel that it's human. What they're coming for, I'm coming for. You're coming for. True? True. Don't you think that we're all...

It's both healing. It is. I really believe that that's our life's journey is evolution. And I think it's a gift. I feel called when people have a hunger and a longing like yourselves. You guys are doing beautiful things and wanting to shed light on individuals that are doing the same. And I don't know, I just relate.

I relate to anybody that I'm in front of because it's human. You know, we all have those things. We all have those circumstances. We all have pain. We all meet in this human experience. There's beautiful things, there's messy circumstances, there's painful circumstances.

We've all had our conditioning. We all have this happen or that happen. But I think life, when you recognize that it's truly happening for us and that there's a gift in no matter how confused or painful of a circumstance that we may have navigated, I don't know, I think that's where we all join. I think that's where we all join. So it isn't so much of a zipping myself up, I think it's more of an opening myself up, if that makes sense. Yeah, that makes total sense.

What's the common denominator that you see of people seeking you and Tony's help? That's a great question. Seeking our help. I don't even know that they're seeking help. I think it's the mirror. I think we can all get caught in a rut of living life a certain way through all of our responsibilities and our things that we do and our roles and identities. I think there comes a time, I don't know if you can relate to this, where it's like, this doesn't feel true the way that I'm doing it, this version of life and I think there's a hunger and a longing for something more. And sometimes that more is just connecting to who we truly are, connecting to what's

most authentic. You asked a question before we began that what would make this a success? And I think, you know, there's so much happening on the world stage and social media that it's, you know, we project these human beings projecting who we want to show the world that we are rather than, hey, this is, this is who I am. And I think we all meet in that space. And that's vulnerable. It's, it's, it's raw. It's real. It's very hard, I think, to have so much content thrown at us all the time. It's overwhelming. Yes, it is.

It's like, I feel, I mean, I can't even imagine like a 12 year old little girl getting on TikTok. Yes, I agree. It's just a lot. It's a lot of energy. It is. How do you manage your own social? Like, are you, do you have boundaries around it?

So I'm a woman, I'm 51 years old and I've never been on social media up until a year ago. Wow. Nothing. What? I never had a social media presence whatsoever. Good for you, Sage. Yes, nothing. And you know, it's interesting, I'm, you know, I'm a lover of people, and yet I'm also a

bit of a hermit, and I love my own space and place and time. And we have a public life and yet we also, who's in our inner world, it's a small circle. I'm sure you can relate to that in some ways. And so social media, I look at the stage of my life is really, it's a platform to connect, but it's also a platform to share what is moving through you. And I think that everything, it depends how we use it. I think the miss of it, like you said, is it creates a context of, I want your love, approval and acceptance.

I want them to like it. Or the distraction of being on social. We're in everybody else's life. We're in everybody else's business. And I didn't know about you, but I've got enough going on in my own world. And I think it's a powerful tool and it's a medium to connect with others. I think the miss for not only younger generations, but even for us as adults,

is I think it can be all consuming being in other people's lives that we can miss our own and we can miss how we are being here now. And that's what really interests me. I enjoy life. I enjoy this space. I enjoy the intimacy of life. And I think that that can get missed through social media at times. We sometimes go speak at schools, which is funny because many of these schools would

have never even let us in the doors of those schools when we were students. But- Yes. Yes. Especially you, Mr. Moon the principal. Especially me. That's fantastic. That's true. But what I say to the students that we speak to sometimes, as we have grown up with these platforms and use them as a business tool- A medium.

... as a medium, I say you have to be very mindful of the differentiator between like it being a tool and a connector versus you being a mindless consumer. I agree. Right, and if you're not, if you don't realize, like if you're just on there and you find yourself just swiping and swiping and feeling obligated to jump into every issue or have a perspective on anything that's going on in the world at any given time,

like you have to step back and say like, is my relationship with this thing productive or counterproductive? And it's very, it's like, it's a very slippery slope. It is a slippery slope. And I don't know we, you know, opinions, everybody has an opinion. I don't know that my opinion matters.

I really don't. Like people were so available to just, I want my opinion known, or you put it in social media or speak it. And once again, words are currency. They're a currency of impact. And once again, words are currency. Yeah. No, I mean- They're a currency of impact. We have obviously a platform.

Yes. And a lot of things, as you said, are going on in the world stage and happen regularly and, you know, many years ago, like you wouldn't be privy to many of those issues, right? They just, you would see what was kind of going on in your world, your city, your state, whatever, but I, we get asked all the time to comment on whatever the hot new thing is, or whatever topic is, you know, a controversy or a tragedy in the world. I'm like, well, like, do you really need my or her perspective on this specific

thing that we really shouldn't have any expertise on? And I think that's the, that's also an issue is people, especially young people feel like they need to be involved in every single issue of the day. And it's like, well, what are you actually passionate about? And what are you actually an expert in? Where can you actually have an impact? Sometimes you got to step back and just say, hey, like maybe I'm a listener. I agree.

And that, that I think what you just said is actually really profound, Michael, to be a listener, to witness, to learn, to grow from what's happening. But I don't know if I don't have something kind to say. I look to not say anything at all. That sounds probably trite and simplistic, but I think that that's just being as a mom. And as parents, I look at that next year. We have a four-year-old daughter,

and she doesn't have access at this stage to any social, obviously social media, but even a device. And there's a simplicity to that. She'll watch, we go back to like old shows, like Little Bear or Daniel Tiger, because they were made like 30 years ago and there's wholesome values. Values of irreverence for your parents

or your elders or your grandparents. And sometimes that can be vacant in the information that we're putting into our children. Even books, even books. Like I'm the mom that's like flipping through books and reading them. And just the other day there was one and I was talking about, I don't know,

the little, it was this little owl and the little owl hated peas. And I was like, even just the word hate. Yeah. Like why even? Because they have to digest that. And I know you can't stop life, but I think as we can be conscientious,

I'm aware of what I'm putting into my mind. We're aware of whatever we're putting into our bodies, you know, with food. I think there's a power in being aware of what we're feeding into our minds because we have to digest that as well. I agree with you. I just brought back the Berenstain bears. I love Berenstain bears.

And that is, you watch it and you're like, oh, it's like, it's about manners. It's about being careful of strangers. It's so sweet. It is. And they, by the way, they love it. They love it just as much as cocoa melon. Yes, I agree. So it's, I think there is something to what you're saying.

It's like bringing back the values and it's cute because there's like four of them and they they're like, that's, you know, I have a son and a daughter. So they're like, I'm brother and I'm sister. Yeah, they like identify with that. It's cute. But in addition to that, they're like, Oh, the five year old starting to read and our daughter's just turning five. She's like, Oh, I like, maybe I should learn to now read.

Yeah. It's cute. That's it. The Berenstein bears and Daniel Tiger. They're so cute. Also another good one is George and Martha. I had to shut down the cocoa melon stuff. That's no good.

No, we don't do the cocoa melon. It's true. It's true. High sensory speaking of high sensory, how do you regulate your nervous system? That's a good one. How do I regulate my system? Especially with your events. I married Mr. Motion.

I know, I'm like, you have to like almost like regulate, like be the balancer. Yes, well, I think we're all regulating or not. And it's a kinder experience when we do. It's interesting when I first met Tony and entering his world and going to events and the lights and the sound and the people, it was a stretch. It was a stretch and but at this stage of my life I have found ways to, I think one of the, let me put it this way, I think the gift of age is you know energy starts

to be invited more internal. And at the beginning it was like all external. And I'm gonna, just all the things of doing in life. And at this stage of my life, it's more about how am I being? And I think that that can get missed. How am I being? How am I being in this moment? And so I practice, I'll literally stop and pause. If I'm in an interaction, say if Tony and I were maybe so a practice I, you know, I'll literally stop and pause if I'm in an

interaction, say if Tony and I were maybe having a heated moment and you know, mind will always look at what the other person's doing or not doing. And so blame the external, the external demonization. We know what that looks like right now. Even, you know, you flip on the news, you look on social media, it's all the external. I think what's so profound for myself, how I regulate is just taking responsibility for how am I being. And if I don't feel that I'm showing up the best version of myself and we can all miss, I don't have this mastered, I'll own that and I'll come up to Tony and I'll say, honey, can we begin again? Can we reset? And I find that that is self-regulating because in that emission, a younger version of myself,

I'd be like, why aren't you listening to me? You never pay attention to me. Sage, this is a really bad time to have this conversation as I just sent a dart of a text to my husband. You should see this text I just sent him. It's like, you better get your shit together. I'm having this baby soon. In her defense, like there are, you know, this is a horrible time to have this conversation.

Sorry. It's a perfect time. Keep going. Let's begin again, Michael. Yeah, let's begin again. But, but, but actually let's begin again. Yeah. Like that is so profound.

It defuses it. And does that, does that pull you towards her or push you away from her? Of course it pulls me. Yeah. I mean, I don't think anyone likes to be blamed and attacked. And I was thinking about it, even through the context of, of running a business. Yes. What we try to do in this culture is like really take responsibility.

So like my perspective as a CEO is like, everything is my fault. If something goes wrong in an area and I, and what I should do that as you as a husband, that's a game, what you just said, that's a game changer. Yeah. I think, and there's a book that's called like, it's called extreme ownership. It's a great book, but what I realized in the culture of a company is when you have that perspective, everybody then, when something goes wrong, wants to lend a hand and fix it as opposed to like pushing the blame.

Everybody wants to kind of just, you know, lean out and not be helpful. So, no, I think it's, I think that's a great perspective to have. I find, that's how I self-regulate. Uh, and I feel like it just clears the schism. It clears the space. I really believe that we're either adding to harmony or we're adding to the schism.

And the schism, you know that you're adding to the schism because it feels like constriction. It feels disconnected from who we love. And I think that alone activates our nervous system. We get in survival because we're just so busy doing this thing and then innocently wanting this human being to do what I want. And I used to be her. I remember, I literally remember saying to Tom like, you're not present with me. Like you don't understand, you don't understand me. I used to say to him like, understand me. I didn't understand me. I didn't even understand as a younger version of myself what I was even feeling. And at this stage, I just own it. I just

speak it. I'll be like, hon,, you know what? I'm probably acting so crazy right now. I'm sorry. I just feel overwhelmed. And that pulls him to me rather than the demand of do this. By the way, I did the opposite for years and it got me nowhere. We're both dynamic people. Yes, I'm feminine, but I feel as male as I do female. And so he's a force. He's, you know, a masculine force as well. And ironically, actually very feminine. but I feel as male as I do female. And so he's a force. He's a masculine force as well, and ironically, actually very feminine. I think that's what's interesting. We all have both energies,

but I just find that it invokes more reciprocation and it invokes more connectivity. It's more intimate to say, babe, I'm feeling crazy right now, or I'm so scared and we're having three kids, I'm having a third child and it's like, I feel overwhelmed. I need you to show up for me. I don't even need you.

It would mean the world to me, maybe more accurate. It'd be meaningful to me. How did you make that shift? You said your younger version was this way and now you're this way. What was the epiphany where you made the shift? Well, I think age helps. I think for, we were living on the road,

traveling, gosh that goes to. That's hard. Yeah, 250, 60 days of the year, we would travel the globe two times a year. Oh my God. That's hard. And it was, it was intense. It was potent, like dose of life in all directions.

It was humbling and I'm a love and he's a love and it hurts to not feel connected. It was selfish. It was selfish because it's, I don't know, just the distance between. It's like when you're working together and you're living together and to be in that space in that close proximity and to not feel connected or to not feel ease. I don't know, I think, you know, if you're for us, we've been together for 25 years. And so we've been to heaven and hell many, many times. But the gift of enduring love and the gift of, I guess, long lasting love, I suppose, is you hit a point where you get over yourselves.

You know, you get over the conditioned part of who I wanted him to be or who I thought he should be for me. And part of that's just conditioning. You know, we're conditioned even as a society, even all the books we're speaking of Little Ones with our daughter, you know, it's all about this. Persons are going to come and the prince and the princess and they're going to save me and they're going to be everything. And I don't know.

I don't know that it's, it's realistic. I think actually life and love is more real and more beautiful than that. But it's been my experience of doing it. I can't say the wrong way, but unconsciously doing it through the lens of an expectation, doing it through the lens of a charge, doing it through the lens of a demand, doing it through the lens of, you know, like, why do you always do this? And then, you know, like the two clashing and it's clunky and it's painful. And so I don't know, it's, I can't pinpoint what shifted besides the fact that I would

say the same responsibility that you connect to in business Michael, I was missing that level of ownership in my relationship with Tone and that was that's extraordinarily freeing because if we do have a schism I know I can change it by just going first rather than why aren't you saying sorry to me? Why aren't you doing this like the ex-journal? We want these people to be a certain way and when they're not, when he wasn't I was crazy. That's crazy. What are other tools that you guys use in your relationship whether it's big or small, whether it's meditation or like doing something wellness, what

are the things that you guys go to to be such high performers? Yes. Well, I believe, so a couple of things. I pray, I meditate. You know, if we have dinner with our daughter, we sit down, the first thing we do is we'll just say grace and give thanks. And we'll all share what we're grateful for that day. But I really believe, you know, I've had, you know, I have a meditation practice and I do inquiry, but at this stage of my life, it's like catching myself in the moment. In the moment when I recognize and you have the moment of clarity, I'm being crazy right now. Or you send the text and it's like you walk away and it's like, gosh, was that the most

connected true version of myself? And that's the moment to act. That's the moment to act and to take responsibility. Like, honey, I'm so sorry. I just saw myself and I sent this text and I'm sorry. Can I come find you? Because sometimes maybe he's in the studio or I'm, you know, somewhere else working. And so it's making our minutes and our moments matter.

Because there's an innate, I really believe longing inside of all of us to connect intimately with those that we love. And sometimes in our busyness we can miss. Oh, well, I was going to say, you know, maybe you got, you both, maybe you and Tony Piusir would relate to this. I think sometimes when you work together and you're ambitious and you drive a really fast and intense pace. Yes.

You then sometimes have difficulty kind of like stepping out of that pace for a second. Right? Like we're, like, sometimes we'll just catch ourselves at home and we're like going at the same pace as if we're traveling and doing shows and doing all the things. And I think like that can be challenging in a relationship because I don't think it's so common

that couples work together like you guys do, like we do. What I actually, when people ask when they ask in the show, so common that couples work together like you guys do, like we do. What I actually, when people ask when they ask in the show, like should we work together? I said, actually, like probably not. Usually try to talk people out of it. And I say, if you can get past all the stuff and be aware of everything that comes with it, then maybe. But it, you know, there's a, there's a lot of challenges, I think, that are put

on a relationship if you work together, but if you can get through it and come out the other side, it's also extremely rewarding. Extremely rewarding. And I, so a couple of things, uh, I think the gift of asking, uh, your partner, can we begin again? Can we reset? And I do that all the time. I'm going to write it down.

Yeah. No, I'm serious. I say it all the time. It's just like, hon, can we begin again? Different than my text. And then, and then if I, if I, if we say like, can we begin again? Different than my text. And then if we say like, can we begin again or can we reset, I'll claim some sort of responsibility of like, I'm sorry, like I was just short with you

or I was curt with you or I didn't feel like I was the best version of myself. And what I find is that that willingness or that ownership, it invokes reciprocity. It brings you together and he'll be like, oh honey, don't be crazy. I totally know. He knows what I'm navigating. You know what each other's navigating.

It's legit. Life's real. Never mind being married, working together, being parents, doing that all in this space. It's extraordinarily humbling. And I find as well for Tony, I'll tell you one other thing that we find quite helpful. So the gift of asking to begin again, and doing a reset. Number two, I feel transitions, like transitions from work into a personal space. Like we'll both right before dinner, we'll go jump in the hot tub or jump in the pool.

Change the energy. Just, yeah, just to have a physical, a physiological reset. And then say if we were ever hot in a context of a conversation, sometimes I'll say, honey, like I need 10 minutes. I just need 10 minutes. I'm going to come back to you. I'm not leaving. Because the younger version of myself, I'd walk out the door and I'd slam the door. You know, that's relatable.

True? Yes. You walk out the door and you slam the door. I do worse. And then You know, that's relatable. True? Yes. You walk out the door and you slam the door. I do worse. And then, okay. Slamming the door. What a timely conversation. Yes, but then if he didn't come after me, I'd be like, what a jerk.

Why isn't he coming to find me? I know. But I left. I want it all and I want it delivered. And so, you know, I think there's, what I've really recognized is, and this is another when you talk about regulation, I recognize that when I was most upset or when I was most charged, or most angry, whatever you want to call it, there's usually not a desire, I guess a want or a request in there.

It's like, why don't you are, it's like you can say like, be a butler or it's like, the request is, honey, it would be really meaningful for me if you show up, I'm scared. It's like life is really feeling overwhelming right now. We're going to have our, but like speaking it from that place. And it's crazy because if I spoke that from an angry space, is it, is it hurt or is it not? Well, I just, and I also think like just speaking as a man, I think I'll just speak for the majority of men. This is maybe not true for everyone,

but I think the majority. Men want to feel respected and like they're, you know. So what did the guy say? What did they want to feel? What did that guy say? Arthur Brooks. He said, well, he said a lot of things. No, he said men want to feel admired.

Admired, yeah. And women want to feel adored. Adored. And seen. Yeah. I think we deserve to be seen. We're on different pages, a lot of us. I think what happens when men get attacked about what they're not doing without the knowledge

of what they are doing, I think a lot of men pull back. True. Right. And so like in my mind, when I hear what I'm not doing, it's that, but if it was met with like, Hey, I'd like you to do more of this, but I also appreciate these things, I'm much more receptive. Like, you know what? I actually do need to lean more into the things that I'm not.

Therapy that we just got. But I just, I think with anyone, right? Like nobody, maybe not just men, nobody wants to be told all the things they're not doing. They want to be acknowledged in some kind of way. Yes. And, and innocently, Michael, we as human beings, nevermind women, I think, you know, I'll speak for myself.

I used to tell Tony what he was doing wrong and hope that he heard it to change it. And I didn't recognize that through that criticism, it only disconnected and it caused him to step away rather than step forward. And he just actually really gave you a pathway. What I hear from Michael is Michael it's like, even though you might be screwing up, it's okay, but like, if you tell me that, please tell me what I'm doing well, or what I'm doing, how I'm lighting you up. I should make an Excel sheet of everything you does well and I can send it to him

and then be like, here's for your contacts, but I'm going to need you to edit that. This is not, this is not related, but related. So imagine if you worked in an organization or if you managed someone in an organization and the only thing you did in a review process would tell them all the things they do wrong. And you never acknowledged- You need a compliment sandwich. Yeah.

It's like there's room for improvement in everything and with everyone, but you can't just constantly criticize someone because then they feel disconnected and they feel underappreciated. True. And that's universal. That's men or women. And I think as well, the, when you talk about self-regulation, I think going first and claiming our stuff. Cause a lot of times I've recognized, I was demanding or wanting him to be different, but I wasn't seeing that once again, the question, how am I being? When you're going through this process, does Tony, Tony Robbins you?

Side note, it's very helpful for me to hear that Tony Robbins also faces many of these issues. Well, if he was here, I mean, here's what's true. I'm giving you context of what's led us here. At this stage of our life, I feel like we're stripped down to love and gratitude. I only want that man's happiness, he only wants mine. But that's the gift of being together for 25 years.

And doing this in all the context that we have. You know, you learn, you mature. You grow up. Well, no, I'm not, I'm the furthest thing from a master. I feel like I'm a student. I'm hungry to learn and to grow and to evolve. And part of being a student, it's like you're saying, it's like listening, also listening to ourselves

or how am I feeling? How am I being? Because I think that that's something as a younger version of myself that I really missed. And at this stage of my life, it's like, as life, the volume turns up, you have three little ones. I mean, in our life, life is full. It's full, it's abundant in all ways.

And we can work a 20 hour day and not even blink an eye. And so it's making our moments matter. It's making our moments matter. And then life humbles you, you know, loss and the, you know, a few years ago, Tony had an internal bleed and I thought I was going to lose him. He lost four points of blood when he was on stage. He had an esophageal bleed.

And that's really stripping. It's really humbling because from that perspective, I wanted nothing of him. I just, I wanted to love him. I wanted to be as close as possible. Life is just such a teacher. It's those moments that has really stripped me down and humbled me.

And I find that, and Tony always says it's like trade your expectations for appreciation. And you can miss that, but actually living that truth, like expecting, it's like, okay, I want you to do this. That's crazy. I can be grateful, you know, that I hear from you, Michael, that it'd be meaningful to be seen for what you're doing well. And by the way, vice versa with your lady. It's both ways. Yep.

It's both ways. And, or speaking to her, it's like, babe, I can't even imagine all that you're navigating. She's carrying this child within. She's like, moms have, I don't know, women, I think there's a unique challenge because we have so much of our energy external. And so it's like one more thing to take care of, one more, whether it's your business, whether it's

your children, whether it's your husband, it's like it's a lot. And for myself, I didn't always take care of her. I missed me. My 20s and 30s, probably even into the beginning of my early 40s, you're just stepping into that place. I missed even what would feel true for me. I would do anything for everybody else, but I wasn't always aware of what you call it self-regulation, but just what taking a breath and catching my breath and doing what I feel in moments I would feel filled up by so I can meet my loves in my life From a fuller and truer more connected place. Why were you such a people pleaser? Well what I recognize at this stage I really am I'm a love I really do love people and I think feel it. Yeah, but I think it changed

I think you know, I was the it. But I think it changed. I was the pleaser of, I don't know, it's a condition. It's like, I don't know if it's the external, I want your love, approval and acceptance, as a younger version of myself. And then that falls away and it's just, I love you. And I want to show up for life, never mind myself and others. It's the same. It just comes from a different fuel.

It comes from a different place, a more authentic place, truthfully. And it's less like, you know, it's more, I don't know. I think we're made to be as human beings that God intended us to be useful. And I am. And yet the same love and care that I would so effortlessly give to anybody that I loved, I look to take care of this body and being and as well my spirit. Listen up everyone, big news, Branch Basics, one of our all time favorite cleaning brands

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He has two jobs. And his first job is he turns on all the red light in the room. He loves this job. If Saza tries to do it, he gets mad. And his second job is to make everyone in the room. He loves this job. If Zaza tries to do it, he gets mad. And his second job is to make everyone in the family vitamin water. And he has been doing this with my daughter since he was little.

And the vitamin water that we make, that I give him and Zaza and Michael and myself is Thorne's magnesium powder. It's a highly absorbable form of magnesium that supports muscle recovery, energy production, and a deeper more restorative sleep. So I'll give them a sip of mine. Michael will give them a sip of his and they are off to sleep. It works so well. Obviously do your own research, but we love, love, love this ritual and it's a family ritual. It also tastes so good. I use it as my wind

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no one works harder. I mean, I have. I think we've seen it too. Well, you could see it. We got to go, what, what is the event that we went to? You were there. It was a long time ago though. Our Unleash the Power Within.

Yeah. Yes. And it was in New Jersey. Yes. I did the cool moss, walked in the fire. It's amazing. Yeah. But the way you guys work is incredibly unique. 20 hour days are wild.

I want to know how you prepare for it and then how you wind down from it. Well, we do prepare. Absolutely. I mean, when people ask me what's one thing that, you know, uh, most people wouldn't know about Tony is actually the level and depth that he prepares. You, I mean, he's on, isn't he jumping around for like something crazy hours straight? Yes. I heard he doesn't only just prepare for that, but I heard if he does interviews, if he goes to a place and he does, I mean, when he met us, I could tell like he,

listen, we do this with a lot of people and met us, I could tell like, he, listen, we do this with a lot of people. Yes. And you can tell sometimes people are like, where am I? Who, like, you know what I mean? Like, he knew a lot more than I thought he would know about us. That's why you guys live zero, zero, zero, 1% of it's high expectation of self. True.

Rather than others, that's freedom. That's freedom. And, and it's the high expectation of self are just bringing your best self, I suppose. And even last night, you know, Mary and I, we were preparing today. It was probably three and a half hours of my evening last night, just reading, getting connected, and cause I want to have, once again, a meaningful and intimate conversation rather than walking in vacant and having no sense of who you are. And I actually really, I was like, why relate to these people?

There's actually some common threads. You guys are like a decade younger version of us, but there's a lot of actually commonality. I have mad respect for you both. But I personally find that so impressive about both of you, because at the stage of life you're both in and the success you've both had, you don't need to do that, but you continue to do it.

And it's, and it, listen, it's amazing for us because we get to have that connection. But I just think it speaks to the success that you guys have achieved because many at your level don't do that. And I, you know, we, and we speak to people regularly. And so it's just, it's interesting that you guys would take that amount of time still

to do this kind of thing. I just think it speaks to your character and success. So when you know you have to just be on stage or speak or do something for 20 hours, are you starting the week before? Are you starting the month? Like what's the prep for that? That's a great question.

Well, it depends. It depends whether the event is something that we've done many, many times, or it depends whether it's something new. Do you know what I mean? Because when there's creation, there's more iteration, there's more creation to it. So contextually, that would begin much sooner. So like the summit that you're doing for all these women, what is the prep for that? Well, that begins much sooner. It actually, we're thinking about it here now. Last year, it's something that we do only once a year and it's called our She's Unstoppable Summit.

And what's amazing is last year we had close to 500,000 women that joined virtually. Yes, which was just really humbling and extraordinary. And this year, it's a little bit of a different format. We're doing three days. It's just two hours a day. But what's amazing is it's this beautiful community. I think there's a hunger and a longing for us to connect in a meaningful way, nevermind in relationship, but just as human beings.

And so from that perspective, it's something I'm really passionate about. And the summit itself is really, it's something I'm really passionate about. And the summit itself is really, it's a space and place where women come together and really, you know, connect to what's not working. You know, what's no longer needed? What's like bogging me down? Like we have so many identities and roles and duties and responsibilities and energy, you know, demanding our attention out external. And the summit's really about tuning into her and tuning in to claim all the parts of ourselves and to live our most authentic version. So we are, we're doing that in August this summer and I am preparing now. And when you say you're preparing, does this mean wellness? Does this mean going

over scripts? Like what is it? What is the prep actually like from a micro level look like? Well, you know, there's I think it's it's mind-body spirit. I think you know if you're getting ready for an event or you're getting ready for anything, you take care of your body, you know, you fill your mind with what's relevant or if there's a it's not even so much a script, but I suppose more of a syntax of added value because that's why, that's what you're really wanting to do is share lived wisdom and understandings that can help others free themselves because I found a kinder way. And I think that there's, I think that's where we all meet is, you know, in for myself, when

you asked me how I self-regulate, I know what it feels like when I didn't. And I know what it feels like when I don't. And I have found ways through to bring a different level of ease in a moment. I do a practice called 60 seconds of grace or 60 seconds of peace. And it's like the moment you can, for myself, I'll do it in between calls, I'll do it in between Zooms. I'll do it in between interviews. I'll do it, you know, in between going from work into a personal space with our family or having dinner. And it's just a moment to gather our energy back to this moment. Would you like to experience it? Yeah, I was just going to say, can you tell us exactly how to do it?

Sure. Okay. Okay. Well, so let's just sit completely comfortable There's and once again, there's no cross your legs and take your you don't even have to Cross my legs and take my pants off Beautiful Lauren, you really are You know, I'm to sit up here right now naked. The baby might fall out. Okay. So sit and once again, you can do this a moment that you feel that you catch yourself

and you're like, wow, I'm being crazy. Or you can do this in between a transition. You can do this in the morning at any point in time. When you asked me what I did to self-regulate, when I was at events and the noise was so loud and like just everything and there's so many people, I recognized I needed to catch a beat for me. I needed to catch a beat. So I called, you can call it 60 seconds of peace, 60 seconds of grace. You just sit completely comfortable wherever you are. There's no right or wrong way of doing this and close your eyes and invite your awareness back to this moment, back to your breath,

back to the miracle of your body being breathed, the miracle in itself, the presence, tuning into the presence of behind the breath. You follow your breath. What do you notice here now? Gently open your eyes whenever it feels comfortable. Well, you immediately just like drop a beat. Because when you're doing something like this, you're on high alert, right?

And you're trying to focus so much. And then you just like step out for a sec. That's the quietest this office has ever been to, thank God. Cause I was wondering if they were going to start screaming out there. Michael does this thing called saber tooth. I made up the name. Everybody does it. Yeah, but you really do it.

It's saber tooth means he's looking for the saber tooth tiger at all times. Because I, my theory is that his parents, when he was little, your dad's really high sensory. No, no, we had this guy, Doc Amonon, I don't know if you guys have met him, and he said some people, like actually he predicts I will maybe live longer because I'm on high alert. No, it's good. It's a good thing. I'm not trashy. Maybe there's like, if I see like a, if a car's coming, I'll avoid it. He's probably avoided my death a hundred times. Like I'm like Ichabod Crane with like my head in a book.

So he's saber toothed. So I don't really have to like look for anything. She's like Mr. Magoo. You know what I mean? Remember Mr. Magoo? He's like, somehow it works out for him. He's like walking through construction sites. I think that's good for both of us because I can be oblivious and distracted

and you can be saber toothing. So it's like brings you both down. No, but it's- Or maybe and distracted and you can be saber-toothing. So it's like, brings you both down. No, but it's, it's, it's me up and you down. I see why you like that practice. It's nice to just stop and get quiet without any agenda for a second. What did you experience Lauren? I experienced my breath felt shallow when I started it. And then it got really, I don't know what it's deep.

shallow when I started it and then it got really, I don't know what it's deep. And also for me right now with pregnancy, it's very nice to do something like that. And slow down. To slow down. What else did you notice as you slowed down and as you connected to your breath? What else did you notice? I feel my nervous system regulate and I can feel it pretty quick. I really like to meditate and I've noticed the benefits. And to me, even for 60 seconds, it's really beneficial, especially with all the sensory overload

from the lights to the phone to the interviews. Yes. And so that's, you asked, we began this conversation with how do you self-regulate? That's one of the ways that I find really, it's so quick. Cause what I find is, you know, when I first began meditating, I would meditate in the morning, I would bookend my day. So I'd meditate in the morning, meditate at night, but then there was meditation is really, it's about awareness and noticing.

And so I found that just like that one minute, like just that 60 seconds of gathering our energy back to this moment. And as well, back to the miracle. Cause you know, the saber tooth tiger and all the things of doing and the lights and the interviews and everything. It's like, life's a miracle. Life is the fact that we are alive, that's a miracle.

And I woke up this morning, my body's being breathed. I did nothing for that. I did nothing for that. We did nothing for that. That blows my mind. Like it's like life itself is a miracle. And I find the more that that presence has come to life and taken flight in my life, I notice more grace. I notice more because we're, like you said,

taken a step down, more tuned in. Gabby Bernstein said something, not similar, but kind of. I said, what's your meditation practice? And I wanted like the prescription of what it was. Like you said, like you book in your day, whatever it is. And she said, what you said, she said, I meditate all the time. I meditate all day.

She said, whether it's taking a minute in the car or, you know, just stopping what I'm doing, even going to the bathroom and just getting off your phone. She said she does it all day and she said that's really helped her. And it takes the pressure off of the meditation. Yes, and then when you don't, don't get me wrong, I'm not meditative every moment.

I'm not self-regulated every moment, but that's a gift of life. It's like when you're not, it's, it's like life saying, hello, you know what I mean? Your body, our body offers so much information because it feels uncomfortable. Cause you feel that resistance and that stress and where I used to tune that out or ignore that or push that aside, it only got bigger. It only got louder. And so self-regulation, it's such a, with our daughter, I look at her as four years old. And I think as we reflect that and model that, no matter what's happening

for her, she blows my mind. She'll, you know, she'll catch her. For her, it looks like it's not so much the 60 seconds of grace, but it's three breaths and catching her breath. And she, she like literally, she calms herself and it's just so beautiful to see these practices come to life in that generation. Uh, cause I think, I mean, for myself, I didn't recognize that a toddler or a three year old or a two year old or a four year old, uh, could actually regulate themselves. And, uh, God created us God created us wise and capable and no matter what age we are. So that's really quite remarkable.

It's interesting. Like our son was throwing a tant, we do this with both our kids, our son was throwing a tant the other day and like once he's done at the end, I'm like, okay, take the big breaths. And he's like learning how to do it out of his nose. He's like doing this mouth and then he breathes. And it's interesting to watch them do that and like fully change their state. Yes, yes. I noticed a little, it's kind of manipulative trick to do to them is to say, okay, do three

because you're three or three bites of eggs because you're three. So with the breath, I'll be like, you need to do three breaths because you're three. And they feel like it's their duty because they're three. Yes, that's beautiful. The age thing really comes into advantage and my five-year-old the same thing. The breath I think you're so right they can regulate themselves. They do. What I recognize is our daughter she appreciates when I join her so if she's

really had a big wave or she's just had a tantrum tantrum, I'll meet her where she's at. I'll get down to where she's at and I'll say, honey, let's take a breath together. I'm going to breathe up to the moon. Where are you going to breathe to? And she'll be like, the clock on the, you know, on the water. I'm like, okay, that's perfect. I'll join you. And so we'll breathe to the clock or we'll breathe to the moon or we'll breathe to whatever. And but that intimacy, once again, that closeness, uh, now now she'll be like can we breathe together and so it's something that we do together and also while she's doing it I'm doing it so we're both regulating. It's very smart. We're both regulating. How do you and

Tony as well-known people think about raising a child? Like I for my own self want to know like what your boundaries are, how you guys think about bringing her up. Well in a big complicated wonderful life I think it's really more about simplicity. Yeah. It's the simplicity of values and the simplicity of as well rituals. I think that reflect that, anchor that and reflect that whether it's coming together. It's like you can say to somebody, be thankful. It's like, what does that even mean?

Or we can demonstrate actually holding hands at dinner and saying a prayer of gratitude. I think that, I think our real, the real gift is how we want our children to be is how we need to be because we're mirroring. We're mirroring and they're learning not only from what we're teaching them but for how we are being. And so I think the honesty of, I'll say to our daughter, I'll say, honey, do you know what? Mom just needs to catch my breath. And she'll say, okay, mom, let's take a breath together. I think that honesty of the realism that like life is happening and you know, they're navigating their world.

We're navigating our world. And I think it's an opportunity to reflect what catching ourself looks like, what self-regulation looks like, what beginning again looks like, what love looks like, what self-regulation looks like, what beginning again looks like, what love looks like. They're learning from how we are relating. And I think that example is, it's not so much about what we're here to teach her.

I think it's more so the example that we get to offer. And if we miss, you own it. You tidy it up because then that teaches them a way to be in right relationship and to be like, I'm sorry. Our daughter, she'll look so like, apologize so naturally. She'll be like, I'm sorry with her little friends. And I think it's so beautiful because we come from a generation where I'm sorry was, I don't know, it was not as frequent.

You're right. It wasn't as frequent. And I think that that's the book, Extreme Ownership has a lot to do with that. Yes. I might text you a picture of that book. Please do. Anytime I need it. Yes, please do. What books, podcasts, content do you consume to be such a high performer? Such a high performer. Well, I'm kind of a weirdo. I like really old books, obscure books, spiritual books

that were written in the late 1800s or early 1900s. I love stuff like that. Tell us all of it. Well, let me tell you something that probably your listeners would more relate to. I have two people that I love and adore that are dear friends. I don't know if you're familiar with Byron Katie's work. No.

Oh, she's a dear, dear friend and a dear sister on the path. She's extraordinary. She does a process called The Work, and it's a four step process of inquiry. Her book is A Mind at Home with It with itself and it's such an extraordinary read. And then another beloved book that we pass out to all of our friends and many times as a Christmas gift is Michael Singer's book called The Untethered Soul. I love that book.

Isn't it so beautiful? And it's also so powerful. I'll return many, many times and I'll just open it up and just read a page because it just offers so much. And his whole philosophy, which I really respect, is you just keep letting go. You just, because if you think about, you know, the notion of surrender, I remember as a younger version of myself, I'd be, I'm surrendered. I mean, I surrender all the time and I don't even think I knew what it meant and at this stage of my life it's just surrendering the ego. You know, surrendering the

clunky stuff, the arrogant patterns or the expectations or the blame or the demonization or whatever is just, it's surrendering that. It's surrendering what is no longer really needed because it only interferes with reality and it disconnects us from love. And that, I mean that internal love, nevermind external love. I wanna read, I feel like I've heard of Byron Katie, but I can't. Oh, she's amazing.

Yeah, I've heard her name, but I haven't consumed her content. Yes, she's really, it's wonderful. It's a very simple process. And if you look at what Tony does on stage, it's really, if he's ever in an intervention, he's asking questions. Because questions expand our perception. Huh.

Questions expand our perception. You know, her's, Katie is, is this true? Is this true? Is it true that he doesn't care about me? Is it true that she never listens to me? Is it true that he always judges me? And so you walk through and mind can come up with an answer really more so probably ego can come up with an answer really quickly. But when you put it on paper, it causes mind to slow down and it's such a powerful tool for self-reflection. Out of all of the things that you've seen, and you've seen some extraordinary things happen in front of you, I'm sure. What's been a transformation that you've seen happen in real time that's crazy to you?

Oh my word. I know that's a big question because you've seen a lot. So, so, so many. I never get tired of somebody who, I suppose, sees themselves in a moment. Yeah. And- Becomes aware. Becomes aware and then actually walks these steps.

It's really, you know, my father was an AA and when I think of the 12 steps, it's really, it's that path. It's a redemptive path of somebody admitting and being vulnerable and being open. I think there's, you know, defense and, and, and blame can be so common, but it's so beautiful to see a human being so ripped open by life and so willing to see themselves and to live differently, to live a kinder way. That is beautiful every single time and that never gets old. And I think it's that mirror, that reflection is just so relatable.

What are the hardest people for you guys to help? If you're going to do a 500,000 women event, what are the ones that are the tough apples? I'd say the tough apples are maybe the ones who were dragged there that don't want to be there. Yeah. Because it's lacking, you're lacking willingness. Yes. Louise Hay used to say that. She used to say like, I will not take on a client that was gifted a session with me.

It has to be their idea. Same thing with AA, right? Yes. Like it's very hard to help people that are not seeking help from themselves. True. What about people who are in their ego and how do you deal with that? Well, it's not people that are in their ego because we're all in our ego. Right.

At times. Right. But you know, what's ego? It's just a fear mind. It's a survival mind. I mean, maybe like, uh, there's an arrogance to them that's, that's difficult. Yes. Well, I suppose it's difficult.

For myself, I look to relate because I've been arrogant. Have you been arrogant? Yeah, we've all been arrogant, right? So in that righteous state, and so it would be more so relating to them. It's like, gosh, I know what it's like to feel like, oh my gosh, I need to know all the answers. I need to be so hypervigilant. Or I need to be the, what do you call it?

The Jaguar, what do you call him? The saber tooth. The saber tooth. No, I'm not the saber tooth. I think there's one about to kill me. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, he's looking for the saber tooth. Okay, got it.

Maybe if I thought of myself as a saber tooth. But I find when we join people in that common ground, that's where we all meet. No matter where we come from, no matter whether we're educated or uneducated, whether we're poor or wealthy, whatever race, whatever religion, we all have this labyrinth of mind. We all have an ego. We all have a heart and we know what it feels like to be out of coherence. We know what it feels like to feel like and to feel at home inside of ourselves. And so, in those circumstances, you just look to join somebody because I am you. You're me. We're not so different.

We come to different contexts, different name, but we're all human and we're all navigating this experience called life. And it can be extraordinarily humbling. And rather than their ego or their righteousness, it's like, okay, shit, I know what that's like. I've been here, I've been him. And I think that in that space, it's disarming. And I think it creates a safety where there's a willingness for individuals to open or not. It's up to each of us. Two fun ways I've been using

my Taylor Farms chopped salad kits. The first thing I've been doing, thanks to my friend, Emily, is tacos. So you can use the Avocado Ranch Pre-Chopped Salad Kit and you can make delicious, crunchy tacos. So I did a bunch of ground beef. I did some cheddar cheese. I did some sliced tomatoes, some white onions,

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The other day, I decided to make the La Scala Italian chopped salad recipe, which is so good go Google it online. It's like one of my favorite salads in LA. And what I did is I used the Mediterranean Crunch Taylor Farms Chopped Salad Kit as a base. I added some garbanzo beans, some chopped chicken, a little bit of tomato. It was delicious.

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That's c-o-r-t dot com slash podcast. I am so obsessed with this brow peptide. I use it all day long. I use it in the morning. I use it to touch up my brows. I even use it at night. Why it's amazing is it's castor oil. Castor oil is what Egyptians used to use to grow their hair, and I added a peptide to it, so it's a little umph. So many of these brow growth serums on the market are melting the fat around the eyes, which is so crazy, and this one is just non-toxic. I use it while pregnant, and it just gives your brows this like glazed

Useful look almost like a feathered brow. It's so pretty I caught Michael Using it. That's how like clean it is a guy can use it and it lifts your face I use this after my skincare. So in the morning I habit stack it onto all of my skincare my skincare. So in the morning I habit stack it onto all of my skincare. So I'll do everything. I'll put my caffeinated sunscreen on and then I'll just use the spoolie to go through my brows and brush them up and like I said it gives you like a wet lifted look. And then I also will use the little lash one. See how we have like a little lash situation at the bottom on top of my lashes before

I go to bed after my skincare. You can touch up your brows with this. I sometimes even will use brow pencil. My makeup artists use it. I think this is my favorite Skinny Confidential product. I'm very, very proud of this and it works. It grows your brows because like I said, castor oil, Egyptians, telling you, you got to try this.

I have one in every purse, you can't go wrong. You can subscribe on our site, shopskinnyconfidential.com and it's delivered straight to your door. If you wanna upgrade your beauty routine and upgrade your eyebrows and lift your face, you gotta try the Skinny Confidentials brow peptide. What is the most powerful thing that you've taught Tony if you had to guess and what is the most powerful thing that he's taught you?

Well I'll share Tony's capacity to see, I don't know, Tony just loves people. He's such a lover of people and his capacity to find goodness in people only always. And he's that way on stage. He's that same guy off stage. And sometimes, you know, when I met him, you know, I always felt protective of him. He's a six foot seven man. Why did I need to feel protective of him?

And maybe if we were going into business with somebody and if I felt uneasy or I wasn't certain about the person and I'd be like, like, I don't know. And he always, and they came in a package that mine would judge. And I'm like, Tony, I don't know about this guy, or I don't know about this woman. And he's really schooled me to be open. And if I did judge to be willing to give somebody a chance

and to open myself to see something else, that's probably one of the greatest gifts that he has really bestowed is recognizing the universality and the goodness and the innocence in people. I mean, I can't speak for him. You'd have to ask him. I mean, you must bring all these different things to him. He married you.

So what are the things that you feel ground him? I'd say being, you know, I'd say being. You know, being comfortable, being enjoying life, enjoying in the senses of life, and being here now. He was always the guy that, you know,

if we, say if it was my birthday, he would want to do the most grand gestures. And I'm like, I just want to be with you. I actually, like, I want nothing. I just want to do the most grand gestures. And I'm like, I'm like, I just want to be with you. Yeah. I actually like, I want nothing. I just, I just want to be with you. So I'd say the simplicity of being and in that space love,

love where he doesn't have to do anything. He can just, I love his heart. I love who he is. And I think for him being seen for who he is, not for what he was giving to me, I think that that was, I mean, he has shared that with me. That's been life changing for him, but I certainly can't speak for him.

So you'd have to ask him next time around your show. That makes total sense though, because so much of his life is performing. And I don't know if performing is the right word, but showing up fully for others for others. Yes. And it makes total sense to me that one of the reasons he's so attracted to you is he can just maybe be.

He can be. I love the guy. I love, you know, it's funny because like people say like, who is he really? And he is that guy. Yeah. Tony Robbins is the guy that I married. And then there's tone. We all have different aspects of self.

And I think that that can be missed sometimes is that we all have many, many parts. And as much as I love Tony Robbins, I love tone. And he's the guy with his baseball cap on backwards. And he's goofy and playful and relaxed and in that space where there's less effort. I enjoy that guy as well. I enjoy and I have, you know, respect and admiration for who he is in both perspectives. But I would say that just the guy, I just, I love his heart.

That's pretty cute. Let me be long. I let you be. I do let you be. But when it's time to give birth, I need you to. I get my game face on when it's time to. Can we reset? We can reset.

And you were just going to say, I need you. It would be meaningful. Something that Tony and I will say is, honey, it would be meaningful. So Michael would be meaningful. Something that Tony and I will say is, honey, it would be meaningful. So, Michael would be meaningful if, but what do you actually, what is your want? I, what I want, and I think this, I think you're the perfect person to say this to, cause you will understand, I think.

It's hard when you work together and you have the switch on with work, but then I'm in a moment right now where I need to taper off the work and concentrate on giving birth. Yeah. So look at him right now. Tell him that. So I need to give birth now after this episode. Can you just at least finish like the ads? See? This is what he does to me.

And then Carson, what else do we have to do? This is what he does. He gives me a fucking to-do list. And we have to do a couple of pictures. I'm just kidding. I know I get it, but this is a perfect example of what I was saying. But just respond to her Michael. Yes, I will. As a consideration.

I think today's the last day actually that we should be doing. Cause we've really- Cause I'm crowning. Yeah. We've really stretched it to the limit with the- Literally stretched it. Literally. Excuse the pun.

I thought that we were going to, I thought we were going to slow down a lot earlier. Like this literally the baby could come at any second. The work switch is going to be off after this day. After the pickups. But yes. It would be meaningful. What I hear from her is it would be meaningful for her. I don't want to put words in you.

No, please. No, it's great. The work switch, if I can speak, the work switch is off. And to take a pause, a space together, a moment together, if I can speak, the work switch is off and to take a pause, a space together, a moment together, I don't know, dude. Like it's your life, but that's what I feel in you is that you wanna catch your breath before this little one comes.

They call it on Instagram and TikTok soft girl era, I think. Okay. It's time, like I've put in the work. I'm not gonna try to understand that. No, do you guys know, Priscilla knows what I'm talking about. She's shaking her head. It's a soft, like I need to switch into my, my feminine more.

Yes. And I think sometimes that's hard when you are working with your spouse because you are a lot as you know, and you're masculine. Yes. And when you want to turn that off and switch it, and this is where it's hard to work together as a couple. Yes. It's where it's hard to work together as a couple. Yes. It's confusing I think sometimes because they're used to the masculine and I don't know if

I'm articulating right. I don't think it's hard to switch it off. I think it's hard to switch it off and on and off and on in such short periods of time. Does that make sense? Yes it does. And I'm flicking it like. And what makes you access, what nourishes that part of you? Do you even know that? I think motherhood and being at home and home making and being in my house. And I think I'm

about to go into that like nesting phase that you go into. And I want, you can flicker your switch a little. Yeah. No, I think it's time. Isn't this so serendipitous that you came on the show and when this all happened, it's like the perfect perfect timing for me to be honest. I was, it was getting a little rocky there for me for a second. So I think Tony helped us the first week. You know, we, you know, doing this show in a funny, you know, in a way, in a weird way, like we don't do couples therapy, but I think it's very important for people to think about that.

But the reason we don't is we get the benefit of talking about these kinds of things with people like yourself so regularly. This show, in a weird way, has been very therapeutic because we spend hours and hours together talking about things with people about these kinds of issues. It's weird. You were the perfect energy to come on the show tonight. Wow. That was guided. Thank you. Just hang around for like the next couple of weeks. It's weird. You were the perfect energy to come on the show today. Wow. That was guided. Thank you.

Just hang around for like the next couple of weeks. I have some, some rapid fire questions. Okay, sure. Go for it. And then I want to hear all about the summit that everyone can do. She's unstoppable. These are rapid fire questions. Okay.

What would your 80 year old self thank you for today? For letting go, for letting go of what's no longer needed and for becoming more self-reflective rather than self-absorbed. Ooh, that's a good one. What's one truth that you wish every woman could fully embody? That we don't have to choose, that life gives us the experience that we can be all of it. That I don't know so much, It's about being equal to. I think there's the beauty and the gift of being different and exploring all of our many facets of self. And I think in that life is never, you know, we've never really arrived. We get to keep

iterating. And I think that that's really fascinating and beautiful. So I look at that with our daughter and I'm like, honey, it's like, it's not just like you can do anything, but you can also be and that there's a space to feel at all, express at all, live at all, taste at all. Life is just meant to be experienced. And I think that that's very freeing. I think that that's very freeing. Multifaceted. True. How do you personally define emotional safety in today's world? Emotional safety, define what that means to you.

Emotional safety to me personally is keeping a regulated nervous system and feeling balanced mentally and emotionally. Yes, I'm very aligned with that. I think sometimes when you describe it that way, a lot of people can look at emotional safety as, you know, don't trigger me or don't say this or don't do that. And that can get wonky. Cause then once again, I'm wanting this person to behave different than what they are. Like laser tag.

Or a lot of people to behave that way, especially if you're on the internet. I think that's, you're counting on a mass of the population to behave in a certain way that you want them to. And it's not realistic. But I think emotional safety is about being what's most authentic and what's true for you in the moment and allowing emotion. It has a life of its own. And I think sometimes we can demonize what's coming up, but it's coming up to be understood.

It's coming up to be lived. And I think it's not even safe, but I think it's just natural. The other night, I was with my family and a dear beloved family of mine is navigating dementia. You know, it was humbling and it was beautiful and it was painful. I went to bed that night and I got up and I was brushing my teeth and I don't know, I cried in a way that I haven't in a very long time. And I just noticed and it wasn't like dramatic crying.

A younger version of myself, I was crying, oh this happened, you didn't mean the external of this. It was just, I don't know, it felt raw, it felt primal, it felt instinctive, it just moved through me and that was self-regulating. Like I don't know, I had compassion for me, for my family member, for the whole experience and it was just, it felt honest and it felt true. I think that why dementia is so hard too is because you probably feel not emotionally safe. True.

I think what I recognize about the pattern of it is or the disease of it is that your world shrinks and things become scarier. Yeah. That's a hard one. Because it's one foot in reality. But yet I also see not so different than you and I. I can fall asleep. I can be crazy in my mind.

It's just life with maybe a little bit less of a middle ground, I suppose, or the capacity to self-regulate. Uh, and so with that, it just, uh, invokes an incredible amount of compassion. Well, I also imagine there's a little bit of a morning element to it. At least that's what it was for me and my grandmother, because you kind of, the person is still there physically, but parts of them are gone or leaving, if that makes sense. Or just different.

Yeah. But what I really noticed too is it's really, it's such an amazing opportunity to practice our own self-regulation so that for myself, that I can just, all I want to be is connected and to show up and be the best version, most connected and understanding and accepting and not personalizing. It's not about me. It's about holding space for this individual if it really does feel unsafe. I think it's the sane and the kind thing to do to love them.

It sounds like you're doing a really good job at that. Well, hey, you do the best you can. Yeah. That's all we can ever do. Earlier you said, in this lens to this question, you said, you said, I just want to make sure I can write it down. You said, change expectation for appreciation. Yes.

That's Tony's. That's not mine. You can rebrand it, you're his wife. You created She's Unstoppable for women who are feeling burnt out or disconnected, which I think is genius because so many are. Yes, or burnt out or disconnected or just having a hunger to connect with the most authentic version, with our true nature. And you know it's interesting because, you know, she's unstoppable. It's like, I, we, the team, we went back and forth and I was like, you know, I want to stop sometimes.

So, you know, but it's not the doing, it's more about the being. There's a force that's guided all three of us to be in this room right now. Yeah. That's powerful. And this summit's really about tapping into that force, about tapping into our nature, about freeing what's no longer serving us and living a life a kinder way, a truer way, a more fulfilling way. So if a woman who's listening wants to come to this event, what do you personally hope that they walk away with? That they walk away with feeling free, that they walk away with knowing how to

self-regulate themselves, that they know how to free themselves, that who they are is beautiful, perfect and whole and I think that's part of it is just falling in love with the beautiful gift of being a woman. I love everything about being a woman and I also see that I think there's common challenges and opportunities for us and we all meet in that. And so I think having more that we can connect to having an understanding and recognizing that, yes, I am this, I am that, I do this, I do that. And hey, what about her?

You should call it, he just doesn't understand. He just doesn't get it. He's cool with it. That would be a packed event. Rebrand it. I can rebrand it. I have a lot of ideas. I'm sure you do. Let me pull out my poster board. He literally has no idea. You could do that event.

He's delusional. What are we talking about now? Who? What? Who are you? Let's, wait, what do I say? Let's reset. Let's reset, Lauren.

Let's reset. Start over. Let's go back to the beginning. These tools have been amazing and all series of them. I'm sure you've seen them. I'm sure you've seen them. I'm sure you've seen them. I'm sure you've seen them. I'm sure you've seen them. I'm sure you've seen them. I'm sure you've seen them. What are you talking about now? Who? What? Who are you? Let's, wait, what do I say? Let's reset.

Let's reset, let's reset. Start over. Let's go back to the beginning. These tools have been amazing. In all seriousness, I'm not joking, these tools have been amazing, especially for me because I can run hot. I'm hormonal right now and I actually am going to use the Sage Robbins techniques and I think they're going to work.

I'm putting it out there in the ether. I'm certain they'll work. Whatever, as long as it's different than the first approach, I think we're going to work. I'm putting it out there in the ether. I'm certain they'll work. As long as it's different than the first approach, I think we're going to be heading the right direction. Do you know what I noticed about you both is even though, maybe in moments you drive each other crazy, I really feel and see a lot of love. And he makes you, even when he's talking

and sometimes you're maybe like giving him shit a little, you're also smiling and you really love this man and you really love her and that's utterly evident and palpable and apparent between the two of you. Well that's very nice to say. You know what's funny is like she's a total pain in my ass. I'm a total pain in Tony's ass. You guys like it though. But I think this is important for anyone that's getting into a relationship. I wouldn't change anything about her.

Sometimes people see our banter, because maybe it wouldn't be their banter, but I'm like, this is what I fell, and who I fell in love with. So it's like, listen, every relationship has room for improvement, but I don't get upset by this because like, what I think is a mistake in a relationship is you fall in love with someone,

and then you spend the entire time trying to change the person you fell in love with. But that doesn't work. I also think when you've been together 25 years, so you can relate to this, it's like, you know the line. I've known him since I was 12. I know the line of how far we can go. And so the internet, they get mad.

They're like, oh, she heckles him or what? I'm like, no, we know the line. It was like that, it was like that Dave Chappelle, Charlie Murphy skit when he plays Rick James. And he's like, Rick James we know the line. Yes. It was like that Dave Chappelle, Charlie Murphy skit when he plays Rick James. And he's like, Rick James is a habitual line stepper. Like she's a habitual step line stepper. I take a toe and I put it over the line, but it doesn't touch the other side. I hope I got that one.

I think that's, Carson, that's the Rick James one. That's actually a really great metaphor. Tony always says, he's like, honey, he says, I stand on stage with 10,000 people and they prepared me for dealing with you Yes, I'm no cakewalk But you find you keep it fun. You do life is some color Okay, she's unstoppable a free three-day experience. Tell us where we can sign up. It's I want to reiterate It's free which is so amazing. Yes, and it's only two hours a day. It's she's unstoppable summit.com.

Amazing. We will link it all out in the show notes. Everybody at Sage Robbins. The next time you guys have to come on together, we'll get a bigger couch for six foot seven. You might need it. And we'll do a him and her and you guys can do therapy on us. Oh, I don't think you need it.

You guys can do therapy on us. We enjoy talking to you. Thank you so much for coming. And thank you for making the trip out here. can do therapy on us. Well, we enjoy talking to you. Thank you so much for coming. And thank you for making the trip out here. Yeah, thank you. It's been, it's been a real gift. You guys are beautiful.

I've enjoyed you. Thank you.