The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Sarah Shahi On Reinventing Yourself, Building Self-Worth, & Thriving Through Life's Biggest Changes

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

#981: Join us as we sit down with Sarah Shahi – actress, author, and star of Sex/Life and Paradise, whose candid approach to reinvention, resilience, and personal growth has empowered countless women to embrace their own next chapter. In this episode, Sarah opens up about rebuilding her life after divorce, navigating motherhood and career evolution, embracing radical self-authenticity, and finding confidence through uncertainty. She shares what she's learned about relationships, self-worth, and creating a meaningful life through life's most challenging transitions, along with the powerful lessons that inspired her new book, Life Is Lifey – a candid guide to navigating life's messy middle with authenticity, strength, and purpose.   For Detailed Show Notes visit TheBossticks.com   To connect with Sarah Shahi click HERE   To connect with Lauryn Bosstick click HERE   To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE   Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE   Head to our ShopMy page HERE and LTK page HERE to find all of the products mentioned in each episode.   Visit http://istandwithmypack.org to support I Stand With My Pack's (ISWMP) mission by donating or adopting. Every contribution helps!   This episode is sponsored by Squarespace Check out https://www.squarespace.com/skinny to save 10% off your first purchase of a web or domain using code skinny.   This episode is sponsored by Unreal Snacks Visit http://Unrealsnacks.com/SKINNY to get $2 off a bag of Unreal.Terms and conditions apply.   This episode is sponsored by Little Spoon Get 30% off your first online order at http://littlespoon.com/SKINNY30 with code SKINNY30.   This episode is sponsored by Chilipad by Sleepme Visit http://www.sleep.me/skinny to get your Chilipad and save up to $255 off a new Chilipad 2.0 with code skinny.   This episode is sponsored by Merit Beauty Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at http://meritbeauty.com.   This episode is sponsored by AMP Go to http://amp.ai.   This episode is sponsored by HERS Ready to reach your goals? Visit http://forhers.com/skinny to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. Produced by Dear Media

Welcome to the Bostics, starring Lauren Bostic and Michael Bostick. Together, they are the Bostics. Is there no more actors that are allowed on your dating rolloutes? It is true if all they do is act. So like you have, because I've entered a space that's become very entrepreneurial, like with the book and, you know, speaking engagements and I got a really beautiful reception. while I was on tour. So it's, and I also write, obviously, but writing scripts now.

And so it's like, I don't have too much idle time. And the thing that drives me bonkers about actors is all the free time that they have. And so I'm just like, if that's all you do is like act, unless you're Jacob Allorty. You know what I mean? Unless you're like Jacob Allorty and the phone's like ringing off the hook, then that's a different story. But if you're just like an actor for hire and you're waiting for the phone to ring, you're not get in my number. It's not happening.

Is there a stereotype for actors, though? Their personality. Lazy. Oh. La la la la la la la la la la la la la lazy. Really? So what if they're like fly fishing on the weekend? Is that enough or you need to be a little more?

I like fly fishing. I like fly fishing. I've been fly fishing. No, that's cool. But I need I need something. I need something else for that Monday through Friday. Okay. They can't just be loafing around the house waiting for a...

No, they can't be waiting for like the phone to ring, you know? Or like, like, redo the house. like do something to the house, like pick up carpentry. Like just, I need, I need. Can I just dump all my trauma on you guys? Be useful. That's what people do. That's the thing is it feels like such a, yeah, like there's just not enough.

Like, you need to get your hands dirty. I need some calluses. I need dirty fingernail. The doctors have soft hands. Yeah. A callus is very hot. I got the callous. I like a callous.

You got the guy. Yeah. That's a good thing to ask someone, let me see your hands. Yeah. And you can check their calluses. And then I'll take a look at something else. Yeah, check their hands. Check the hands.

And then check the size of their hands. Cars. So if you're manifesting in this new phase in your life, yes, that you're entering. Yeah. It seems like you've like, I feel like you got it together. It seems like. Looks can be deceiving.

But no, I just mean like I feel like you're in the pocket. Yeah, yeah. I do feel like, yeah, I've landed. Like, I feel like, you know, I had a breakup last. year and the day after my dog died my dog got eaten by a coyote and I heard it I heard it so there was a these two very traumatic events like kind of piggybacked on each other in my mind for a long time and so I was deeply in transition and I feel like I've reached a phase now where you know it's like I've landed like I finally have two feet on the ground and I'm just seeing what that looks like for myself that's where I feel like I am

That happened to me when I was a kid. Dog got eaten by a Cody. It's terrible. It's horrible. It's like a... They eat them terribly, yeah. Yeah, no, it's horrible. Yeah.

I do feel, though, it feels like you're in alignment. Oh, I love that. Like when I read your book. It feels like... Thank you. When it feels like... Please correct me if I'm wrong, but when you were going through your divorce

and you were in this marriage and we're going to get to that, it seemed like you didn't feel in alignment and you fixed that, which is inspiring to a lot of women. Yeah, you know, it's one of those things where I just feel like, and this is where you really have to trust the timing of your life, right? Like I even say in the book, I'm like, God never puts the stars in the wrong place.

You know, so trust the timing of your life. And in my marriage, you know, and I have to say this. I don't think a divorce is failure. I think being with someone for 18 years, raising three children, that is a success. That is a long-ass time to be with somebody, to grow up with somebody. you know and at some point you just have to have the courage to look at each other and be like hey the goose just ain't laying the golden egg anymore like this this dance ain't working unless you're loren unless you're loren then she this goose is going to keep playing these eggs the goose is

going to keep playing those eggs i love it we'll see we're not at 18 years married you're not at 18 years yeah yeah but it's but it is and my point for saying that is that it's not a failure in my book it is a massive success and yeah i just felt like i i I was putting, you know, everybody else's needs before mine. My dreams were being buried. I was too afraid to speak up. I was too afraid to rock the boat, you know. I just felt lost.

And I was like, where did that other girl go? The one that used to, like, chase her passions with her fervor is now just chasing macaroni noodles from a high chair. And, like, and I'm told that this should make me happy, that this should be enough. And that I just need to smile. and, you know, get it done and have dinner on the table by six, like every night. And I felt guilty if I had a night out with friends. And I was just like, what is going on with me?

And then I got sex life. And with sex life, that character, she just had the courage to question all of those things that I was too scared to question. And she became this buzz in my veins that I couldn't escape. And I think through her, through the show, I was. was able to find sort of this authentic version of myself that was trying to emerge in this new chapter of my life. It's really cool to see. I think it inspires a lot of people who are probably just gritting through until the kids go to college. Yeah. You know what's weird is men are afraid of me. Like, you know, because it's like, and I didn't mean to look right at you by the way when I said that.

I noticed I did, but I'm just trying to split my eye line between the two of you. And that just happened to be right. looked at me dead center in the eyes and said men are afraid of me. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it like that. But what I mean by saying that is that, you know, I have kind of become the poster child for unhappily married women or just unhappy women, right, who need that boost to go after the life of their dreams. Like that's what sex life kind of did for me unintentionally.

And, you know, when I was on book tour, it was just funny because there were some men that were in attendance. And they were like, oh, my wife, I told her that I didn't want her to come. So I came on her behalf. And I'm like, why could your wife not come? She's like, and they were very honest. They were like, well, I felt like she was going to divorce me if she came. Yeah, but you know, I feel like for those men in particular, they probably already know something's on the fritz. You're exactly right.

Right. You're exactly right. Because they like, people, you know, I think we know what's going on. all of us know. Like if, if Lauren want to go, I'm like, no problem, I feel good. But if, but if you're already a little bit into, I think that's anything. You want to go out with the girls. You want to take the trip. Those guys are like hanging on because they know it's like hanging by a thread. Yes. No, you're absolutely right. The thing the show did really well, meaning sex life. And the thing that COVID really kind of push people into was the truth of

who they are, you know, and, and you're right. Like if something's wrong, going to a book tour or, you know, a book event is not going to change. relationship one way or another, but it will highlight some things that you might need to see. You know, so I think, yeah, you're right. That's what it was. Yeah. When is the first moment that you remember where you started questioning the marriage you were in? 18 years is a long time. There's a lot of people listening who are questioning their own marriage. When did you start to question it? And how did it snowball? Hmm.

Are you trying to answer this politically correct in case he hears it? Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Because you don't want to hurt people's feelings. I get that and it's the father of your kid. Well, I also want to say this. I want to say that I'm not in a space and I don't have the desire to put my dirty laundry out there. I like that.

Yeah. I will speak about things from my perspective only and I will speak in ways that are nothing but uplifting and high vibe. So, you know, with that said, I will say that I was probably feeling this way. You know, a divorce doesn't happen overnight. Yeah. Right. And it's a slippery slope for a while.

It's a slippery slope for a while. It was definitely a few years. When kids complicated as well. Kids do exacerbate what's already wrong or what's already not working. I won't say wrong. But I will say that kids, yeah, and you put so much energy into the children, right, that you have very little for yourself. And you have to make time for each other in ways that you didn't have to do that before. You didn't have to schedule time on a calendar to be able to see one another, right?

It just happened. But then after children, and that's not anything new. Everyone says that, right, that you really have to schedule that one-on-one. Yeah, you have way more intentional. We have three children. You do? How old are your kids? six almost four and ten months.

Sarah has twins. I have such young ones. I would so have another. I have a 16-year-old son and I have 11-year-old twins, yeah. Twins are a lot. They're a lot. They're not like twins. They're like eight children at the same time.

And like the baby, the baby. And, you know, that's the other thing too. It's like when I did have kids, I felt like I was in this mom group where everybody was like smiling all the time and everyone was like so happy to breastfeed. and sure. And then when we went to preschool, it was like, you know, everyone was making homemade brownies that were like

nut free, soy free, taste free, salt free, dairy free, egg free, this free, that free, that free. And I'm like, can I not buy it from pavilions? Like, what's wrong with that? You know, and so it was like there was just so, I just felt like a fish out of water in my own life. And I was like, what is happening? Like, this sucks that I have to pull my tit out every hour to like feed.

And then the baby bites. And then it wasn't enjoyable. And I didn't get sleep. And, you know, and my boobs were not mine anymore. And I was like, what is going on? Like, so that's the thing is I just had this very raw look at like motherhood and what my life was. And nobody in my circle was sharing that look. Like that perspective, I mean, you know, nobody was doing that. And I felt like I had to hide like my own truth about things. And the only sort of release I got was when I would go to work. and I felt like I was allowed to complain and I was allowed to say this is tiring or I'm scared or I don't know what to do or miss my old life like you know like so it just felt

not that I again like I'm not trying to put out that like I wish I didn't have like have kids like please for the love of God edit that shit out if that is what it's going to sound like but like I just what I mean is like I was in a circle where I felt like the elephant in the room was not being discussed you know in terms of how

challenging it can be on your body and in a relationship. And I just felt like I had to swallow a whole bunch of truths. And I think that's another place in which this book came from was just that desire to be really real and really authentic. I can't even connect with someone that's making it seem like it's all. I can't. I can't even let it get in my ether. I mean, I was lucky if I walked out of the house without like yogurt stains and boogers and vomit on my shirt. You know what I mean? Like let alone, the moms who would show up at drop-off with like the most perfect blowout and like the Gucci belt and I was like go fuck yourself like I'm still trying to like I still haven't slept were you here in yeah yeah yeah yeah I don't know what it's like to have kids in Texas or raise them in other parts

of the country it's there in Texas too but it you know it's everywhere school drop-off's an interesting thing it's almost primal isn't it it's like a jungle it does feel like a jungle and Everyone, there's like a pecking order and there's different species and, you know, you don't want to get eaten, you know, by the PTA mom. And, you know, I remember I was taking when we started preschool, I was just like, this is a lot. And I used to take a flask. And I would, this is a great drink for the summer, guys. I don't drink anymore. But like, I would take a flask and I would put watermelon juice along with tequila.

That sounds good. It's so refreshing. It's hydrant. And like, exactly. And like some lime. And that was, that was like my drink. And I would like, I would sneak that. I was like, I have to.

Like the multicultural fair. Like who has time? Like you want me to build a volcano? I can't. You know what is in Texas now that you're talking? Like they, the parents have these Yeti coolers. I know what you guys are doing in those Yetty. No, it's not a cool.

It's not a cool. It's a Getty cup. It's a Yeti cup. That they all have that has wine. whatever does. But I'm going to now what I'm in doing mine is I'm going to make that drink that you make. I make to the people. A fake cake. Okay, what's that? It's a fake cake.

What is it? Just whipped cream and like berries? Like you're like, I make it. It's air. You take it to it. It's air. It's a fake PTA. Mom. Is that even how you say it? PTA. Mm-hmm. Cake. You go to the supermarket. You get an already made cake or cupcakes. Then you get some Pillsbury frosting, funfetti. Like you get extra points. Put it all over. And then you cut up roses and you put them on there. And it

looks like you have a $500 cake that you made. Sure, there's probably like beetles on the like strums of the roses and there might be a few like mites and fleas. But this cake looks like a $500 cake and you can go in and say you baked it. Okay. All right. All right. All right. Y'all heard it here. I'm a Capricorn. So I'm also very like I want efficiency. How do I get from point A to point B with the least amount of effort in the quickest way possible? That makes everybody happy. Like that's what I go for. But there is a different. kind of pressure that I think is like I see the pressure put on her versus me a hundred percent like nobody's giving me any shit that I didn't bake a cake no yes no one else if he has any I can show up

like I rolled out of bed to the drop off nobody's looking twice and you know what can I tell you another thing like being a working parent uh working mom is another interesting dynamic because the amount of judgment I would get from you know picking projects where I was the lead of and I was the first person in and I was the last person out and my ex-husband he never got any shit for why are you the first person in last person out you should be home with the kids like he never got that but i certainly did so it was it was a really interesting time in my life like when i say it was a slippery slope it wasn't even the marriage it was just like so many things that created this effect that i was like i am not vibing in this life that i

created or I thought I wanted. So how do you come to your husband of 18 years and tell him that with kindness? And I'm not, you share whatever you're comfortable with sharing. I know you shared a little bit in the book, but how do you come come to him with love and say that? I think, you know, I think there are two main emotions in the world. I think you have, like if you break down any emotion, whether it's anxiety, fear, joy, jealousy, anger, whatever you break down, it can call it can fall in two categories, love or fear. When you come from a place of fear, you are detached, you are not thinking about the highest good for yourself or for anybody else. When you come from a place of love, and that's one of the most beautiful things about love. Love is so powerful. It has the

energetic resonance to either bring people together or to bring people apart. And it's all in the name of love. But when you can look at somebody and say, like, I do love you and I love you enough to let you go, or I love you enough to give us both permission to start over, I do love you, but I finally love myself more. You know, it's not pretty. I don't think anybody gets married expecting their divorce, but at the same time, the greatest act of love is being able to let something go. And then when you guys did end up getting divorced, were you still working on sex life? No. So what happened was I got the show and then COVID happened.

And tell Michael how many downloads it got. Oh my gosh. I read the stat. It's like 25 million. No, no, like 170 million. Jesus. Yeah, 170 million people. Oh, my God, I told him the wrong stat.

What you said? 25 million. 170. 5 million downloads. I mean, you added 5, but sure. I'm sure in the last three, four years, it's accumulated an extra 5 million, yeah.

But it was 170 million in its first. Women are horny that are married. These women are horny. They're at home. The PTA mom is sneaking sex life. For sure. You know the other thing, though, is I found like it wasn't even just about the emotional, like so many women felt seen, right, in that show.

Because it really did take a raw, look at marriage, children, you know, thoughts from the past, right, being haunted by the choice of what if I had taken that left-hand turn instead of the right? Who could I have been? Where would my life go? Excuse me, but on top of that, what you just said, like horny women. Usually in film and TV and even art, you really see the man being serviced. It's rare that you see the tables turned. And this was, this became such a sexually empowering show for women. where, you know, women were being empowered for the first time through that lens. So it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was cool.

It was cool to be a representative on both fronts in that way, you know? I heard that you wore prosthetic tits. It did. How do, okay, hold on. Okay, okay, okay. So are you just coming into work and taking your shirt off and they're putting prosthetic tits on you? For three hours.

So let me tell you what happened. So anytime we had scenes with Mike Vogel, who, who, who played my husband. So anytime we were in the present day and you saw my boobs, they were prosthetic because my character had to rest feed. And it was really cool the way they did that and how there was like a little pump.

And because a few times you even saw the milk like squirt in his face. So it was like this, have you seen the show? No. But all I can think about prosthetics is Christy Noam's husband right now. Oh! Because he's wearing those big jug titty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, well, I wonder if there was a liquid pump in them as well. But yeah, so there was like a liquid pump and to stimulate,

or to simulate milk that would like come out. And then when you saw me in the past with Brad, those were my boobs. So the present day was prosthetic. The past was always me. Oh, because they needed the milk function. So they needed the milk function. And also, I mean, come on, you know. I'll have to go back and research the show to make sure.

to go back and research. I got to get better propped. Breastfeeding boobs look different, right, than normal boobs. They just do. Oh, he knows. I'm aware. I'm aware.

Exactly. Yeah, you know, you know. So it takes three hours. It took three hours. Yeah, we got it down to two hours in, I think, 40 minutes at some point. But, yeah, it was a process. Like, people don't know all this stuff. Like, I would, you know, I would show up to work sometimes at three, four o'clock.

in the morning just for that process and then after that go into hair and makeup you know at 630 and then and then work a 12-hour day that's gnarly every day because i see people when they do these crazy makeup sessions yeah i was a big fan of that show fallout yeah yeah yeah he had to sit there with all that like i'd give up i that's just sitting there like and people are touching you the whole time yeah yeah yeah it's a lot there's a thing you you know this probably with three kids there's a thing where you can get over-touched like it's like over-stimulation especially with twins oh yeah or you know um But I would imagine that it's that same energy when someone's touching you for that long in your own, like, bubble. It's different because you know you can't leave.

Like it's like, you know, if your kids or if someone's like tugging on you all the time, you can walk away eventually or you know they don't have to do that. But when it's your job and you're getting paid for it and you're working with some of the best prosthetic artists, the best special effects artists and the business and you see what they're doing to. the level of detail that they do it with, you realize this is part of the job. This is what your responsibility, you know, includes. When you have 170 million downloads on a Netflix show called Sex Life. Yeah. And it comes out. Yeah. How many women are in your DMs? Oh my God. Yeah. And telling you their stories of how they can't stand their husband. How they can't stand their husbands or, yeah, they don't know, they didn't have the courage to leave or they want to start over. How did you do it? Like, I mean, women still come up to me.

I still, my DMs are still flooded. The amount of people that come up to me daily, the amount of people who came up to me on the book tour, you know, and, or even we did the Paradise Press Tour in February, the amount of people who sat across from me, journalists that were still talking about sex life. I mean, it really was a movement that, you know, I feel so privileged that I could have been the face of. When someone asked you, how did you leave? How did you leave? How did you get the courage to leave? What do you say to them? I say, read my book.

Yeah, not quite those words. But I just, I have a very compassionate understanding when people come to me with that, you know, because fear is a fucker, you know? And when you have those thoughts that you want to make a change, it's hard to all of a sudden have that courage overnight and just do it. And so what I tell them is that you have to start by taking baby steps. So if you're somebody who wants to make a change like that and change is scary, because our brains, I don't know if you guys are into neuroscience at all,

but I'm big into neuroscience, our brains are wired to choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar mystery. So that's why we stay in toxic relationships for so long. That's why we're afraid to speak up, speak up because our brains associate that with familiarity. And it goes all the way back to the caveman days. Anyway, we feel comfortable in what we know. So when you want to make a change like that, it's scary because it's unknown. So you have to start by doing little things first. So like, for example, ask for a night out with your girlfriends. Say you want to take, you know, that class, that, you know,

art class you've always been looking at, but you never had the strength, the courage to go to before. or you thought it would like mess up things around the house. Like speak up on the little ways. Like I don't want to cook dinner tonight. Can you do it? You know, can you take care of the kids? Can you put them down? You're really good at the dinner part, Lauren.

You're really good at doing that part. Said no one ever. No, I mean, it's speaking up and saying you're not going to do it. Yeah, I am. You're really good. Good. If you don't want to. She's been nailing that one for me.

Do not expect all these things from me and then expect me to have dinner on the table. I'm just kidding. See, well, I prefer to not have it. You prefer to starve. She does other things. I prefer to starve. But it is a strange expectation that women have is that they're supposed to take care of everything at the house,

take care of everything at work, everything regarding the children, and have enough energy to be able to service their husbands at night. You know what I mean? Like it is this weird, like silent expectation that, and I talk about it in the book, and it's like, we are still humans. It was really nice having you on the show. But like it was just, so yeah, so it's like start taking care of yourself in ways and little ways that feel comfortable to you. And little by little, that will create this like ripple effect.

And either your partner will like that this is happening or they won't like that this is happening. But that's where you first get the courage and the strength to start making changes. Is try to live life as authentically as you can. can even if it's just baby steps. And then eventually that will build and you will have the courage to do the bigger things. Or honestly, the writing will just be on the wall. But you can't instigate that level of change without being authentic to who you are. Men. So that's what I always say. You mentioned that your self-care before looked like putting some electrolytes in some water. Metamusole. Metamusel.

Metamusel and some water. Yeah. And picking parsley out of my teeth. By the way, I have something better than Madam Musil for you. When you said that I was like, I need to DM her. I have loam fiber. You got to try loam. I don't know what that means. It's so I'm okay by the way. Sorry, Madam Musil. I have worked. I have worked my digestion issues out. I have a better one. Okay, okay. It's like, it's almost like a clean L-O-A-M. I'm obsessed with it. Everyone, this is one of my favorite supplements. Okay. Taylor, do you use loam? No, Taylor's, L-O-M? Taylor uses like orange chicken from Panda Express. He would have to drink a glass of water to begin with first and we're still working on the glass of water. Hey, have you had water today?

Sweet. Oh, yeah, one. Oh, good. One, one water. So, loam fiber. When you said that, I was like, I got a switcher. Okay, so you said your self-care was metamusole. How did that change? Because that's not, to me, that's not enough self-care at all. Yeah. Yeah, no, I was tired. Yeah, I was tired. You know, like I said, like I just, I put a lot of pressure on myself and my community around me did as well to put myself, last and and so I didn't advocate for myself and what do you in your community around you mom friends neighbors family um you know yeah that community like a pressure to perform exactly exactly um you know some of my male co-workers um all of that so yeah there was no self-care for myself i didn't have any How are the people who put pressure on you reacting to this sort of like liberation that you're going through with your book and your show?

I'm not friends with them anymore, so I don't know. They can't take it. I don't know. Because when I left my marriage, when I decided to start over for myself, those people naturally fell out of my life. Like I just, vibrationally, we just didn't vibe anymore, right? like we just weren't sticking. So they just went away. It's kind of nice to cut the fat.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. You know, just trim all that shit off. We don't need it. You know, there's a great quote. I love quotes. So there's a great Dr. Seuss quote.

And he says, those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. So I have, I'm a walking book of quotes, by the way. So yeah, that's something that I really took to heart. and I live, one of the quotes I live by. What's the Dr. Seuss quote with the Lorax? Like the tree falls the way that it leans. Are you going to try it? I don't know that one.

Dr. Seuss did not like kids. Isn't that interesting? Really? Yeah. He was trying to change a lot of them, obviously, through his books. I mean, he wanted to poison them, green eggs and ham. Who eats green eggs? But no, there's like, it's funny. I need to talk to my chat.

You talk to some people and they like, they can't figure out like why something's happening in their life. in my way of an older friend who's wise and he's like he was saying he's reading his kids the laurox and he's like well the tree falls away that leans and I have this other friend that's just like living an absurd and it's like well that's yeah it's kind of like it's kind of true you know like you can got to predict what's going to happen but that's also why like I have to say I try to look at my life because if I look back on my life like I had you know an abuse of father held a gun to my head when I was six my mom and I were in and out of women shelters as a kid he threatened to kill me again

when I was on the L word, it was like my first, so maybe 24 or so. And that's when I was like, I think I need to change my number. Like my dad's starting to kill me again. And so I, my point, my point, I'm like, get to your point, Sarah. My point is that when I look back on my life, I'm like, you know what? Like, it's all just so beautiful. Like it's messy and it's up and it's down and you meet people that you like, are with them. Then it doesn't work out anymore. And this big, beautiful wild ride that we call life,

like how privileged are we to wake up in the morning, to hear the birds, to look at the incredible sunset. Like, you know, this thing I started saying to myself when things got kind of hairy for myself last year, I'd wake up in the morning and I was so succumbed under this negative depression of, you know, the breakup and then the dog. and I was mad at the birds for singing. You know, I was so unhappy. And one day I was like, you know what? Everybody I love woke up today. Everybody I love woke up today.

Like, that is not a guarantee. It is not guaranteed that my children will come home from school. It is not guaranteed that my son will come home after learning how to drive. Like, it is not guaranteed. But how lucky am I? But I wake up every day and every single person that I love woke up. So in the end, it's all just, small stuff.

Typically, we do these shows and we ask people about their childhoods. We kind of just jumped in with you. Oh. I want to know more about your father. Yeah. And what happened there? Great, great guy. Great guy.

What do you mean he held a gun to your head when you were six years old? I talk about it in the book and it's in the chapter on trust. And it's just when he was a drug addict and he was having a really bad trip. And I remember being outside with him. him. I was probably about five. And he was holding me. And I just, I remember, I remember the weight of the metal. I didn't even know what a gun was, right? Like, as a little girl, I was obsessed with my dad. I trusted my dad. You know, you never assume or think your parent is going to do something to put you in harm's way. So I just remember, I remember this. And I remember like, it was cold. It was hard.

And I was just like, ah, that kind of hurts. And, but not having any attention on this. And, Instead, all my intention was on him. He was bawling. He had like tears that were just streaming down his face like the Niagara. And he was so sad. And all my attention again was on him and like, how do I fix him? And why is he so sad? And my mom comes home.

She called out to us. We were in the backyard. And I just remember her face as she came around the corner and she saw us and she opens the back door. And she sees my dad. She sees me in his arms. and it was almost like time stopped. Like everything stopped. And I could hear like her heartbeat, right?

And she starts slowly like walking over to him, almost in a way that you would walk over to like a wounded animal. Like my mom is the shit. Like that's why I have a chapter dedicated to her. Like I wouldn't be who I am without my mother. And she walked over to him. He was sobbing and she just opened her hands. He dropped the gun in her hands and she took me and we ran inside.

And his plan, because what he was saying is he was sobbing, is he wanted to kill me, wanted to have my mom kill him, and then her to kill herself, and we could all meet up in the afterlife. So he was sick. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

And what happened after that? Did you guys leave? That's when we went to the shelter the first time. Yeah. And we were in and out for probably about a year. And, you know, even that, like my mom, I'll never forget. she would wake me up in the middle of it usually it was inspired by some kind of fight or my dad was abusive to her that was the only time he ever did anything to me and so it was always kind of

in the middle of the night she would wait till he was asleep and she would be she would wake me up and she'd be like okay are you ready like are you ready for another adventure like do you want a fun sleepover and I'm like yeah and she's like okay let's go and then we would go and I remember it was like the Dallas Women's Shelter or something. And there were these bunk beds. It was very gray. I remember one night I was cold and there was this little boy and this little boy gave me his jacket. I'll never forget. But they were our adventures. She would make, she would make it sound like there were these little vacations that we would take and let's go see who we're going to meet next. And how long was he in and out of your life? Was he there through your whole childhood?

No. He left when I was, the day my sister was born. He left for, he left for, he left, That was the first time he really went away. He dropped me off of the hospital, then he left for six months. He was in and out. He was in and out. By the time I was eight, he was really out by the time I was eight. But that's also where I got a lot of my abandonment wounds from because I was such a daddy's girl. And I'm very open about talking about this because I think it's important, especially in dealing with relationships and stuff.

Like I remember I would stare out the window just waiting for his car to pull up the drive where it was something. And then whenever he did come back, I was like, okay, if I'm just the perfect version of myself, my dad will never leave. Like I'll just be the perfect daughter and I'll just be throwing myself on him and daddy, daddy, daddy. And he won't leave. And of course he always left, you know, because it was never about me. But that is where, and again, I'm very honest about this in the book. That's where my abandonment wounds were born and something I've really had to work through in my relationships with men. So when you got the L word and he comes in threatening to kill you.

Yeah. That's when you had had enough. Yeah. So what happened was is he left when I was eight, but he was very in and out. So he'd be gone for six months. He'd come back for four. And because my parents, they also divorce at that time, they weren't living together. So he would just see my sister and I on the weekends every other weekend. It was not consistent. And he was usually high. And so, but by the time I, by the time I was a teenager, I was making the decision to see him less and less and less, although he would still see my sister very regularly. And then by the time I got the L word,

that's when I was making the substantial paychecks and I had shared it with him and he wanted 50 grand. And I was like, I can't do that because I knew what he wanted it for and I didn't want to support it. So I was like, I can't do that, but I can buy you a suit and I can help you get your car fixed and I will help you look for a job. And he was like, if you don't give me the money,

the next time I see you, I'm going to put you six feet under. Wow. So, yeah, so that's when I hung up the phone and I was like, I think I should change my number. And then I never, my sister continued to have a relationship with him for just a couple more years after that. And then she decided that it was in her best interest to also disconnect. Yeah. For you to be able to look at that and recognize the abandonment issues and see where it all came from is probably cathartic and also to write the book about all this. Quick break to talk about AMP, perfect for your home gym, perfect for your house, perfect for your office even.

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Get 30% off your first online order at little spoon.com slash skinny 30 with code skinny 30. That's L-I-T-L-E-S-P-O-O-N.com slash skinny 30 with code skinny 30 for 30% off your first order. Yeah, I mean, you know, I refuse to believe that pain, any of my pain should be lived in vain. I refuse to believe that my pain doesn't have a purpose. And I think it was also the moment when, you know, pain is an interesting thing because I think from the time that we're kids, we're taught to run away from our pain, right? It's like you fall and you scrape your knee. Your mom instantly wants to give you a double scoop ice cream comb, you put a band-aid on it, kiss it, make it better, stop crying. But as adults, that's not how pain works.

Like, pain is a teacher. And I think I finally, there's an incredible spiritual teacher named, Reverend Michael Beckwith. And I had the privilege of doing his podcast not too long ago. And we took a real spiritual look at Life is Lifey, like a spiritual look at blow jobs, if you can believe it or not. And he has this great quote that says, pain persists until the vision pulls.

And I'll never forget the moment that I made a decision that I was going to leave my marriage. And it was when I finally sat with my pain. I finally, instead of trying to drink it away, or numb it away or brush it under the rug or pretend, you know, I finally was like, I couldn't, I couldn't escape it anymore. And I finally sat with it. And I'm like, where are you? Like, where does it hurt? And it like, it hurt in my heart. It hurt in my throat because I hadn't spoken up for myself. You know, my heart felt like it had this like black hole in it where there should have been love. There was

emptiness. And I'm like, what is happening to me? And that's when I saw the vision of myself in the future who whose dreams mattered, who, you know, did live life with a smile, who was advocating for herself, you know, who could take a class or a night out with girlfriends and not feel bad about it. You know, so it was like pain persists until the vision pulls, but you really do have to sit with your pain. You have to allow it to teach you something. Because I also believe, sorry to talk so much. No, it's podcast. That's why you're here. Okay. But I also believe that like, you know, I'm very spiritual. So I choose to look at life from a spiritual perspective. And I believe that every circumstance that we draw to us is for our highest good.

So if we don't take a moment to reflect and to see like, what did I learn? You're missing the entire reason why it happened. You're missing that opportunity for growth. And that's what we are here for. At the end of the day, we're all here just to walk each other home, right? So it's like, what a blessing to be able to learn and to grow and to pass that along to somebody else. Were you able to apply this to the relationship you had after your marriage? Because it seems like that also was a big moment for you.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So, yeah, we started sex life. Let's see. We started sex life. COVID happened. My divorce happened. Six months later, the world opened back up.

And then we began filming. We only filmed for like. a week before COVID happened and we all got rushed back to our home. So yeah, no, it was, it was interesting and I did. There were a lot of lessons that I learned from my marriage and also just the healing process of divorce is really intense, you know? There's a lot of stuff that come up for you when you get a divorce, right? Even simple things like, what do you do with the ring?

Where do the pictures go? Like, again, no one gets married planning their divorce. So these were all things that I had to sort of learn about in real time. Yeah, like where do the family pictures go? Yeah, and you know where they are? They're in an album in the garage. When my kids get older, they'll have that. And the other thing that I think is really important,

and I'm lucky that my ex and I have a great relationship, is that kids want to know they came from love. That's it. They just want to know they came from love. So even if you and I did not get along in this dynamic, let's find a different dynamic where we can get along in and we can, you know, have love for one another because the kids need to see that. And it's really beautiful that they do. Like I feel very lucky in that respect. Yeah, because I know plenty who, you know, that's not the case.

But yeah, I can't remember what the question was. I was just saying like when you have your first relationship after your divorce. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a moment. I think it's a moment for anyone who's listening. Your first relationship after a divorce. Yeah, whether you stay together or you don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a moment. For sure. And I think, you know, honesty, honesty, communication. I mean, these are things that people talk about. But I think when you're first learning to be vulnerable again after being hurt, or not that somebody hurt me, but I was hurting, I was hurting from the divorce. I think it's important to, let the other person know that that's the space that you're in, that you like this, that this feels really good, but at the same time, you're still processing things and to allow yourself to breathe and to take the time that you need to heal so you can be really present.

You know, I think so communication is a big thing. And again, I have kids, you know, so it's like for me, I'm not able to date. as this truly single person. You know, I have three incredible things I come with. And to be honest about what that looks like, you know, and like... You're breeding between the lines. Right, exactly. Like, yeah.

Like, you have to be honest about what your priorities are. I also think when you date someone that does, and this is like, this is what I would imagine, when you date someone that doesn't have children. And they have no understanding or capacity for children. It's a learning curve. I actually have empathy for it because maybe four children would not have understood that. Neither would I.

I would have been like, what? Yeah, for sure. Then when you have children, it's just a different life experience. Absolutely. And so it's almost like mismatched sometimes. So if you date, you prefer to have somebody that has children or that does not have children?

Let's manifest who you're going to date next. Does this guy have kids? The next guy. Oh, I thought you were talking to somebody. I was like, no, what are they saying? Oh, maybe someone listening. Like if you're, if you're, no, no, no. But here's what I will say.

They don't have to have kids because I've heard a lot of stories from my girlfriends who ended up marrying people who did not have kids, but they wanted kids or they were raised with a lot of kids. So I'm not going to say the person has to have kids because that in itself could bring things. That could be an issue. Like, I don't know and I don't care. But I do want the person to have a lot of siblings and have a lot of experience with kids. You know only child. Correct. Yeah.

Got it. not doing the only child thing. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. Yeah. Are you an only child? No.

Okay. Blow jobs. Oh, let's go. What a transition. What a transition. You have a whole chapter about blow drops. Whether you're getting them or giving them, you want them to be good. Come on.

Give me a little credit on the mic right now. No, no. We've been married a long time. I don't mean to tune my own horn. I might say it's the top three things I can do. Yes. In my less. Yes.

Amazing. That's what you meant when you said she doesn't cook, but she does other things really well. Listen, I will take that over the cooking any day. Here's one tip I think you have, if you're... I can order out. I can go to a restaurant. If you're a blowjob connoisseur, I feel like you have to like doing it. 100%.

That's kind of one tip that I would give. Yeah. If you don't like giving... Sorry. Never. Tell her mom, that in my exam. Okay. I apologize.

I apologize. We're just meeting, but this is actually a more mild version of this show. So don't even... Is it really? Oh, great. We're fine. Cool. So what are your blowjob tips?

If there's girls. who are listening, you went to a spit on it, choke on it. Yeah, choke on it. This is the biggest thing that's everything down my throat.

Yeah, exactly. I feel like I got to like button up. Are you okay? He's drinking water for the first time. I concur. No, I, look, I, again, I'm very, it's interesting because when I was writing

this book and I, you know, we just met, but as you can tell, I'm very real and not shy. But I do like to come from the perspective of not being gratuitous or not saying something to cause a reaction, but from a place of like realness.

And the other thing that happened when I was on sex life, so many women wrote into me and they were like, I've never had an orgasm before, or I don't know how to give a blowjob, like I'm nervous. So my perspective, though it is funny to talk about and shocking to talk about, my perspective truly is to help. When I first moved to L.A., I didn't know how to give head.

I didn't even know what head was. I didn't even know what a dick looked like, Okay. Like I lost my virginity very late and and I had met somebody in LA. And I talk about he's a B plus movie star. He's not any kind of star these days. And I got the sense that he wanted a lot more than dry hunting. And so I was like, all right. I need to learn about the penis. So there was a show on HBO called Real Sex. Oh yeah. I remember that show. Okay. Okay. Did you beat it to Real Sex? Listen, back in the day, people forget, but you'd have to, like, skim the channels. You know, like, this was like pre-porn. All right, Taylor, it was like pre-por. No, no, porn has been around forever.

No, but it was hard to, like, when you were a kid, you couldn't, you didn't have, like, I used to find it in the bushes, like, some magazine, somebody left. Oh, that Bush's story feels weird. Or like some weird VHS tape from like the 80s, right? Oh, I see. You go on real sex. We didn't have what these kids have these days. That's true, right, right.

We didn't have the internet. No. The World Wide Web. Some guy would, like, WWWWW. You're going to be talked. Like a magazine that he found somewhere, like some dumpster somewhere. And the pages are ripped and you have to put the pages back together.

So there is a show called Real Sex and there was a woman who was the host of the show named Lou Paget, who was actually an older woman. But she was incredibly knowledgeable. And she was holding a seminar for blow jobs on Beverly Drive. So I came across this. I don't know how, but I did. And I was like, let me sign up. So I entered this class. There are, I don't know, six women, six-state women in attendance.

I'm the youngest one at the time. And we each got a plate, like find China, and we could pick our own dildos. She went around the room. There were different colors, sizes. What was your vibe? Mine was a respectable six and a half inch, which I've learned is, is, what have you learned? Tell me what you've learned about that. What have you learned?

It's respectable. What have you learned? Go ahead. I can't wait to hear what. It's about to come out of your own. What have you learned about six and a half inches? No, no, no. Well, I learned that that was average.

I learned that that was like, that was like, because I was like, is this too big? Is it too small? Like what I don't know what I'm doing. Like Goldilocks. And yeah, it was like, it's just right. And some people wanted bigger. Some people wanted smaller, like different colors, you know, whatever. So anyway.

And she taught us. She was like, okay, ladies, these penises aren't going to ejaculate themselves. Let's get going. And she, like, everything from opening up the back of your throat. to your gag reflex, to different hand and mouth techniques. She had something called the ode to Brian, which was based off of this college suite heart she had named Brian, who liked the sensation like a certain way.

So she did this double cupping thing. I know what the oath to Brian is. What happened to this woman? She was like the godmother of... Can we get her with the show? I don't know if she's alive. Like, I don't know if she's alive. She was out there doing God's work.

And then... When she was like 80. So it's like, I don't know. God bless her, though. God bless Lou. So yeah, so I, but I became so confident because she also broke the penis down in a very biological way and like talked about the nerve endings and the head and the shaft and like what you do and the balls. And like and I was like, oh, and something in me clicked. Like something in me went, oh my God, I get it now.

Like this isn't something dirty. This is actually something awesome. And like if you really love your partner, you love like the. guy. You're like super into the guy. You can actually take your partner to such a place of ecstasy that you feel like your own inner like Christy Canyon like just came out. That's why I like it. No one's ever articulated it. Yeah. It's not about him. It's about me. Exactly. Exactly. So like if I say if I'm into a guy and like, like, that's why I like it. And I give them head and they're like, oh my God, that felt so good. I'm like, no, that felt so good to me. It's like

powerful. Thank you. Absolutely. Yeah, it's my pleasure to do that. Again, the man's perspective when I, again, a lot of potholes here, I got to be careful. Yeah. But I feel some. I probably stepped into so many from the beginning of this podcast. When I hear some of my friends, their girl, or some of my friends that have, I got to be careful. Okay, stop stuttering, just go.

Some of it look at like it's like a demeaning thing. Some girls look at it as demeaning. They feel it's demeaning. I know, I know they do. And I think they've got the wrong perspective. Okay, so I, you said it, not me. Yeah, no, I really truly do think they've got the wrong perspective. They should.

I took it. I took it. No, they got to get the book. They got to get the book or like, give them my handle. Like, have them reach out to me. Like, when I've heard people say they don't do it in relationships, it's like, I'm not going to be disrespected. I don't think there's anything. Oh my God.

Are you kidding me? We did an episode one time where there was, we had some women on the show. We were talking about this. And I said, imagine if a guy was like, I will not go down. Go down on you. Like, I'm just like, oh, I'm not doing that. Yeah. You'd be like, why not?

Like, what's wrong with it? Like, why not? You know, like, no, I agree. I feel really lucky that I stepped into that classroom and I got the knowledge that I did because she broke everything down in this anatomical way that like my fucking scientific nerdy brain was really able to latch onto. And then from there, I was able to, you know, activate the sexy porn star, whatever you want to call it. Like, I'm so goddamn confident I could deep throat a cactus.

You know what I mean? So it's like, I'm. I hope my mom doesn't listen to this. I hope my mom doesn't listen to this. I hope none of our parents listen to this. Like, Jesus. Lauren's dad's for sure listening to this. Oh, my God.

I also like it because sometimes I like to do this thing where I'll like be really ugly, like and wear no hair and makeup and just look horrible. Oh, you're so stunning without it. For like a long time. And then I'll dress up and I'll be like, don't forget it. I think the blowdrops the same essence. It's like I like to give one and be like, don't forget who you married. Well, you know.

It's almost like a level set. Like, don't forget. I love it. Don't fucking forget. But you know what it is. And you never forget. Afterwards, you go, how long have y'all been married? We've been married a long time.

How long? How long? He was my first blowjob. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whether you're just starting out or scaling your business. Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place.

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and they have this product that I've been using before the gym. And what I do is I do my skin care. I do my facial massage. You know I ice roll. I'll put a little bit of caffeinated sunscreen on and then I'll use this product. It's called the minimalist. So it gives you a really polished natural look in a couple minutes. It's not a foundation or a concealer. I cannot wear that to the gym. It's way too overwhelming. I like that natural look that's effortless when I go about my day. When I am not on the show or like I said in full glam, I like to keep it very simple. And the minimalist, what it does is it works double duty as a foundation and a concealer. So you get the quick coverage without layering on a bunch of products. So it doesn't feel heavy, it doesn't feel matte. It's very useful. It gives you like a

hydrated, plump, fresh glow. Right now, Merritt Beauty is offering our listeners, their signature makeup bag with your first order at Merrittbeautcom. That's M-E-R-I-T-Beautcom to get your free signature makeup bag with your first order. Meritbeautcom. Every single Friday night, you know where I am. I am with my kids with a snack plate watching a family movie. It is so important to our family and it's been such a tradition. We do a snack plate. I have the kids make it so they're like doing their own thing. We get our little healthy sodas and then we make popcorn. I have the best popcorn situation. I have to show it to you guys on stories. I pop popcorn with them and then we pour it into a big bowl. and on top of our popcorn is always unreal.

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For our listeners, visit unreal snacks.com slash skinny to get $4 off a bag of Unreal. That's unreal snacks.com slash skinny. Terms and conditions apply. I want to tell you about the charity that I am so passionate about. And it is called I Stand with My Pack. They are committed to getting dogs fostered and adopted. I have been a fan of this specific charity for about five years when my daughter was born. I met a woman named Lucy and she was helping me with Zaza and she told me all about this incredible

charity I Stand with My Pack where they helped animals find homes that were in really bad conditions. And I started following the Instagram account, fell in love with what they were doing and then decided to partner with them to bring awareness to their cause. If you're looking to adopt or foster a dog, you have to check them out. It's I Stand With My Pack. They are accepting donations to if you can't adopt or foster. And all of the money goes to their mission, which is to help dogs with major medical needs that are often not seen by adopters or other rescuers. Check them out.

I standwithmypack. org. So I got to keep it going. Yeah, no, I get it. God bless, man. Y'all should have a podcast. It was the blow job. It just every time I think about it.

It blows him away. My kids are like, what did you get in? I was, you're like, I can't forget about that girl when I was 12. Yeah, anytime he like thinks I'm like, ah, okay, thank you. The whole perspective. Give me a little more kind of than two minutes. I could get like five. Like, here's the thing.

Like, going back to what we were talking about the beginning about being a Capricorn and the most efficient way, it's also a girl's like helping hand, you know, pun intended. In terms of like getting it done, husband or partner feels happy. and I'm back to reading my book in, you know, 90 seconds. My brain goes like this. My brain goes like this. My brain goes check, check, check after I do it. Exactly.

I got it done. Yep. I thought I was going to avoid the potholes, but now I'm not. What I will say is there's also maybe nothing worse than a bad blow job. I don't know what that's like, but I'll take your word. Or someone who's not into it or someone you feel like, if someone feels like they're like doing it and they're like it's not good, you're like, I'd rather just not. Like, then you feel like you don't want to participate. I can imagine a dry tug is no fun.

That or if someone's like, oh, I really don't want to do this and you feel like you're forcing them to do it. Not hot. Not fun. It's not fun. I'd rather just, like, let's just not. Yeah. It's like a bad hand job, too.

You don't want that. Yeah. I can do that from my, you know. Yeah, you can do it better than, yeah. You know, like, so I think sometimes if people don't feel confident and then it's bad and they get a bad experience, maybe then they like get scared from the entire thing. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It makes sense. Amen. You mentioned earlier that you used to drink out. alcohol and now you do not drink. Without a choice? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just didn't metabolize it the same way. And I really held on. I really held on to wanting to drink. You know, again, I'm from Texas.

Like I drink guys under the table. Like I would have a night out where I would drink and then show, you know, I would have 12 drinks. Show up the next morning at 7 o'clock in the morning, ready to go working a 14, 15 hour day. Damn. And then it got to a point where. And by the way, I'm not sober. So I don't want to say that. I'll probably have like, I don't know, three drinks a year.

so it's not very much but I'm not sober but it was a choice only because my body just didn't metabolize it the same way I would wake up even if I had one and I played around with it like I would have a drink at 10 in the morning like I feel like let me drink at 10 is that going to make a difference it probably actually is better for you in the day I still I still woke up the next day feeling like shit and it just took a while to get out of my system so I'm just like you know what unless it's like truly unless I'm really inspired to have a drink, I'm not going to. It's not worth it. The older I get, the less I like to, I think it

just like catches up with you. I just like my sleep. Yeah. I just like my sleep and I like feeling fresh the next day. I was waking up with no matter how little I, I drank. I was still waking up the next day feeling dull and I didn't like that feeling anymore. I'm like this ain't worth it. Yeah. Juice ain't worth the squeeze. Before you go, you got to give us some of your beauty tips. I'm going already. Yeah. Damn, this went by. How. Y'all, y'all are. We normally do four. We normally I only do 45 minutes. You really? We went longer with you.

Time flies. I mean, it's a big one, literally. Before you go, you have to tell us about your beauty tips, because what I notice about you is you do natural hair, which is about to be very, very popular. Oh, yeah? And you're very natural. Like, people are not going to be doing their hair.

Like, I like how your hair is just like natural. Yeah, I don't know how to do my hair, which is why I don't do it. I don't either. Someone did this. I mean, that's the thing. It's like unless somebody is doing my hair, I don't even know how to brush my hair. Yeah, I literally walked into the sex life audition. This is a funny audition story, but the casting director was like, do you own a brush?

And I was like, no. I like it's very like sexy and like you're just very fresh-faced and beautiful. What are some beauty tips that you do? I'm big on lasers. Yeah, I have been very vocal about my laser game. And I have a few skin care specialists like laser specialists that I see regularly. What's the laser really? like um well so i have this korean acupuncturist okay and facelist her name is dr ellie i'm happy to put

her stuff out there um but she kind of invented that salmon sperm facial like over 10 years ago that kim kardashian did for the first like she she like invented that's my favorite so she gets all the lasers from korea i don't exactly know what these lasers are called but like it's the korean version of morphius the korean version of olfara the korean version of all of that stuff which goes a little bit deeper and there's less downtime. So I go to her for facial acupuncture and for the lasers and other acupuncture. I go to her once or twice a month, depending on my schedule. Then there's another woman named Cynthia Franco who just does like the electro mag, like with the electro wands. You don't talk about the lawns? I got to try it. No, okay. Cynthia Franco. Yeah, yeah. I'll give you

her stuff too. And she I also probably go to once or twice a month and she just does all the stimulating things. Like she literally will take my cheekbones and push them up. Like it's crazy. And then, yeah, was there a third? Hold on. I'm trying to think if there's a third. Those two are the regular. Okay. Those two are the regular. And then I'm just really big on just moisturizing. I don't know. Like I'm moisturizing like three or four times a day. What's the moisturizer that you're using? Walita cream. It's the Walita heavy cream. Okay. Yeah. And I don't like wearing a lot of makeup. Like, to me, I don't know.

I don't know if it goes back to, again, just efficiency or whatever. But, like, I like, I don't know. I feel like sometimes when people put too much makeup on, you don't see them. You know what I mean? And I like it when I can see someone's skin or someone's freckles or I like that, you know, so. I think it's very youthful too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes when I have too much makeup on, I feel like I look older than, you know what I mean?

Yeah, me too. Like, like sometimes if I get ready for an event and the makeup bar, artist is like overly powdering me or just like wants to put lip liner and lipstick and like this whole thing. I'm like, I feel like I'm 60 years old right now and I don't like that. I also have a theory. Okay. I think when you are in the public eye and you are constantly being touched by hair and makeup and brows and listen, I do this all. Yeah. You and I live in Austin so I'm able to shut it off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I come here and I say I treat it like my mistress. I suck it. I fuck it and then I get the fuck out. And I go to Austin and I just like literally,

there's no makeup, there's no hair, unless it's for like a podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get almost over-touched, but also like it's people in your space constantly. Yes. So with what you're doing where you're getting the prosthetic and the this, and you're being pulled like a car wash. You're right. When you're off, you just want to.

You know what? I'm so glad you brought that up because I just mentioned this to somebody the other day, how like, and this person, it was my sister's baby shower. And my soon-to-be sister-in-law, or no, they got married. So she is my, yeah, my brother-in-law's sister. So we were at my sister's baby shower and she looked beautiful and she was dolled up and she got her hair and makeup done. And I came pretty much like this. And, you know, I was like, oh my God, Jess, you look so beautiful.

And she was like, you know, thank you. I never get dolled up. And I was like, I always get dolled up. Like, that's what I do. So when I don't have to, it's like I just want the bare minimum, if that, you know, yeah. Brittany Spears, I heard, like, when she was performing towards her last couple performances that she did in Vegas, like, she got to the point where it was like too many people touching her all the time. Yeah. And you can imagine being her since she was a little girl.

The hair, the brows, the makeup, the facial, the spray tan. I'm really rooting for her. We're all rooting for her. I really do. But you can imagine how much energy it is in your space. And you get someone with the wrong energy doing. I know. And I've had that.

And I've had to let people go because energetically, I'm like, this is kind of bringing me down. It's bringing the whole vibe of the thing down. And no, it's an important job. And yeah, no, I agree. You're amazing. You're amazing. You're amazing. You guys go by her book. Yeah, I told you it was going to be fun.

I knew this one was going to do. Did you not believe? No, he did. Okay, okay. Okay, you knew. Taylor. Well, your dear media. I didn't even get to talk to you about the sopranos.

Did Taylor exact? Oh, man. Oh, my. Cipranos, hold on, you gotta give it. Hold on. My celebrity crush? Yeah. Oh, is it Gannofini?

You like him a little thick. I like a little, no, I like him a little like. Like mobstery? Yeah. Yeah, I get it. A little bit like, you don't know what's going to happen. Yeah, I know. I'm the same way.

It's a problem. It's a problem. God damn it. I want the, I need to pivot that. Wait, Supranos is my favorite show. I don't know. You have to tell me what. Yeah, I was in the final season.

I remember. It's a peyote scene. Yep. Yep. And the Vegas girl. The final scene. What? Final episode.

Sorry, not an episode. Final season, it was the sixth episode. Okay. The episode was called Heidi and Kennedy. Kennedy and Honey. And it was the episode Chris dies. Okay. And Tony goes to Vegas to tell the girl that he was, like, messing with that Christopher died.

And I was the girl. I was like a Vegas showgirl college student. Because you get to make out with him. Yes, we had a full-on sex scene. You don't remember this? Now I remember it because he said a sex scene. I remember. that. I was on top of him. And then, and then we went to the desert and like smoked peyote.

Okay, okay. It's coming back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I might have to rewatch the Sopranos. We watched it like three times, the whole series. He's incredible. He was incredible. You know, he was a very troubled man. And, um, but the crew loved him. We shot that episode. It took like six months. He took care of the crew, right? Didn't he like pay one? Yeah. He treated them really well. You know, he had a lot of demons and they sometimes, in interrupted filming. But he made it up to them. And yeah, he was an incredible man.

I'm very lucky. So there's a story I told on Kimmel recently where, so the first day that I showed up to work, he did not show up. And I went back to my hotel room and he sent me a dozen roses with a note saying like, sorry about today. Don't be nervous because I suck. Love the fat man. Sure. And the next day, I showed up to set, and he's literally larger than life.

Like, he's so tall. His shoulders are so broad. Like, he looks like he's like a bear, like a grizzly. That show at the time, especially that season was like the biggest thing ever. Oh, ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So he walks in through the, like, I see him larger than life presence, and he's like, you get the flowers.

And me thinking, you know, I'm a badass and trying to keep up with this energy, I was like, yeah, what's with that? Like next time send me something I can actually take back with me like Jimmy Chu, size seven. And again, I was just trying to match his energy. I didn't expect it. I go back to my hotel room and there's Jimmy Chu size seven. What a fucking boss. I know. What a boss.

Yeah. That's a sex scene with Tony Soprano. You know, it's, yeah, I did a sex scene with Tony Soprano. That's a good one to like check off. I have to say like kisses I've ever had. We had this scene where, oh, he was so hot. And literally, I remember, I know, I'm like, oh, like, sorry, guys, can we turn the cameras on for a second?

But like, I remember thinking to myself, too, like, how am I going to get turned on by this, you know, 47-year-old, like, large balding man? Like, there's nothing, like, how is this going to work for me? It's his energy. Oh, boy, did it work for me. But like there was a scene where we first start doing mushrooms. I don't know if you remember the scene. And he's a very method actor.

So he wanted, you know, props. I think they actually had dehydrated mushrooms. And he wanted them to put like pepper on them or a lot of spice or just something. So when you put it in your mouth, there's some kind of a reaction. I was, I've been very lucky that I've worked with such incredible actors that I've been able to, they've been my acting school in a lot of ways. And I've been able to steal things and use it for my own process. So, so I do that too now. But like, so we did that.

And there's a scene where I'm sitting on his lap and we're taking these mushrooms and then we have to kiss. And when they called cut, we were still kissing. Like, and like. You heard it here first. We were still kissing. Uh-oh. You didn't say that on Kimmel, did you? No, I didn't.

Is that in your house? I literally, no, it's not. He's not in the book. But like, juicy, Sarah. And like, and I just remember that, too, as I'm talking to you guys, I'm like, oh, my God. Like, and we did it like three, four. four times and every time like they would call cut and we're still fucking making out like maybe he wanted you to wear the jimmy shoes and i wonder if you were sending anybody else to flowers when you

are when you're having all these sex scenes with all these guys is there a boner there weren't that many like what do you mean sex life sex life yes what the whole sex life but prior to that is there a boner with everyone um no because well i will tell you this i will tell you there's a great sylvester Stallone quote about that. Okay. Which is I apologize, is Denzel. I think it's Sylvester, which is like, I apologize if I do. I apologize if I don't. And it's a very unnatural thing, right? Like, first of all, the guy is wearing like a cup, a pad, multiple layers. So, so. Because they don't want anything. They don't want. They don't, yeah. And like, and I also have on multiple, like, privacy patches and things. Because it's a very unnatural thing, right?

to do a sex scene in front of a hundred crew. It's kind of mysterious though. Yeah, but it sounds like it's not as sexy as it. It's not as sexy as you would think. It really isn't. It's very choreographed. And in order to get lost in it,

like something that I would always tell my scene partners before doing it was it's like, look, I don't care if you need to do a shot. I don't care like whatever. If you need to superimpose somebody else's face like on mine, go for it. But the more we dive into this, the less we have to do it.

Taylor wants to be your scene partner next time. Taylor. Are you ejaculating back there or what? Are you okay? So this is getting a material for later tonight. Okay, okay, well, good. I'm happy I can be of service, Taylor. Happy I can be of service. Well, we started more PG than we got. I was going to say in the beginning, I was like, listen to life.

Life is lifeing. Now I might have to do a disclaimer at the front of it. Sometimes you get, again, going back to the car pickup moms. Yeah. Like some of these women will write in and be like, I was dropping my kid off at school and you started time like where have you been like you know what the show is like what do you what do you what you're saying when they're listening to us right to review they're angry like I like you know oh no like they're angry at our topics that they're angry that the topics that there's language and this

and that that's the kind of woman that needs to get fucked more yeah there you go I said it first or I said it here but yeah no he was he was incredible he was incredible really cool what a memory yeah if I was dating like if I had a bio I'm like on a what is it bumble it would say that Raya I'm on like Raya Tony's a Prano. Like, da-da-da-da. No, my riot profile is very simple. Oh, what's your bio?

I don't even have anything on my bio. Like, I just think it's so, I just, I like that. It's, there's nothing there. I just have, like, a song. It's like, I might write, right, you wish. That's great. I don't have anything. I just have, like, four pictures and a song, and that's it.

What's the song? I think it's a dire maker. Love it. No. Okay. Sarah. All right. Everyone go by her book.

life is lifey. It's pink. It's aesthetic. And it's very, very honest and candid. Congratulations. Thank you so much. I'm back anytime. I would love that. I would love that. Y'all are awesome.