The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Shaman Durek - Spiritual Guidance, Removing Self Limiting Beliefs, Ridding Yourself of Guilt & The Impact of Thoughts

Episode Date: December 18, 2018

#157: On this episode we sit down with Shaman Durek. Shaman Durek is a spiritual guide and gifted healer who helps bring success, happiness and healing into people's lives. On this episode we break down some walls and get vulnerable. We discuss ridding ourselves of guilt, how to remove self limiting beliefs, and the impact of our positive and negative thoughts. We also dive into the world of spiritual healing and remove preconceived notions around practicing shamans.  To connect with Shaman Durek click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) WOO MORE PLAY is the all natural and organic coconut love oil that is changing the way we have sex. With only 4 all natural ingredients WOO is the perfect personal lubricant to spice up your sex life.  All Him & Her Listeners will receive 20% off your entire order plus free shipping when when visiting www.woomoreplay.com & using promo code HIMANDHER at checkout. This episode is brought to you by THRIVE MARKET. We use Thrive for our online grocery delivery on a weekly basis and we also now get our wine at Thrive! They provide the highest quality products and ingredients delivered straight to our door with unbeatable prices.  Be sure to grab our deal by going to to https://thrivemarket.com/skinnywine to receive 25% off your first order (Max $20) + free shipping and a 30 day trial. This episode is brought to you by RITUAL Forget everything you thought you knew about vitamins. Ritual is the brand that’s reinventing the experience with 9 essential nutrients women lack the most. If you’re ready to invest in your health, do what I did and go to www.ritual.com/skinny  Your future self will thank you for taking Ritual: Consider it your ‘Lifelong-Health-401k’. Why put anything but clean ingredients (backed by real science) in your body?  

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. get the vitamins and minerals they need on a daily basis. So Ritual created a smarter vitamin with the nine essential ingredients women lack most. Go to ritual.com slash skinny today to choose clean ingredients backed by science. Sign up now at ritual.com slash skinny. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her. Aha! There's two different types of thought patterns that come through the brain.

One is your immediate thought, the ones that you're constantly flowing. And then there's your cycle thoughts. Your cycle thoughts are the ones that actually make your life the way they're functioning. So I could go into his mind, yes, and find out what his cycle thoughts are. But to go into his immediate thoughts, it goes so quick that I literally would have to just tune in and really just zap into it. And it's very subtle. So the way I work with people or the way I engage with them is to tap into their cycle thoughts, the things that are actually affecting their lives, the things that they're

thinking, the things they hide, the things they don't want to really look at, the things that they're thinking and processing through their life that's creating the world that they see around them. We are back in the studio for another Tuesday. Welcome back. Welcome back to the Skinny Confidential Him and Her Show. If you're new to the show, thank you for joining. That clip was from our guest of the show today, Shaman Durek. On this episode, we dive deep and discuss how to remove self-limiting beliefs, how to get rid of guilt, how your thoughts can create or destroy, and what true spirituality really means. For those of you who are new to the show, my name is Michael Bostic. I'm a serial entrepreneur and brand builder, most recently the CEO of Dear Media, which is a podcast

network focused on female audiences and voices. And across from me, the woman herself, Lauren Everts. I am Lauren Everts Bostic. You get a hyphen today because you're being nice. And I'm the creator of The Skinny Confidential, which is a blog, a brand, a book, and a podcast. And today this episode is kind of intense. This one went deep. Went deep. Speaking of deep, you were, since I cry in this episode, just to be blunt, you were crying this weekend. You've never cried on this show before. I've never cried on the, no, I've never cried on the show.

Sometimes I cry after the show when you're abusing me, but never on. But yeah, Lauren cries on this episode. So guys, you're going to tune in. You're going to hear that. You also cried this weekend. I know. I got a little emotional. I haven't seen you cry over one thing, our entire relationship, other than when you married me and the dogs. Taylor, cue the Godfather music. I have become an official Godfather. What about me? I'm a Godmother. i'm the god father officially taylor cue the music let it go in i was our friends gillian and maricio who we were just in aspen with asked us to be the god parents of their newborn and now our god daughter uh coco and we i don't know what was going on i don't know why i started crying we were in a yurt what do you mean we were we were in a yurt which is like

kind of a teepee i think it's because she was crying. Yeah. And they asked us in the most beautiful way over cheese fondue and a spicy skinny margarita. And they were both so sweet and genuine about it. And it really couldn't have been a better moment. And Michael started crying and I started crying. So anyway, it was a really emotional moment. All our friends were there. Michael was crying in his cowboy hat. You're a little buzzed. Listen, I'm not going to say it was just the alcohol, but the alcohol definitely

didn't help. Waterworks were on. I can't believe it. So just like our godparents moment when I was crying, this episode also goes very deep. Are you dying for a vitamin that is not chalky? One that even tastes kind of minty and looks cute on the vanity. Well, I got you covered. This could not be more TSC. Ritual vitamins. Have you guys tried them yet? You have to. You will love them. They are filled with so much goodness. Things like omega-3, iron, vitamin E, magnesium, folate. You know I'm a huge magnesium fan. I mean, it really gets everything going. So anyway, not only is ritual filled with all the things that you need and love, it looks really cute like in your vanity and in your clutch, and it's not like an ugly vitamin. And not to mention that

there's this minty tab in it that's infused with peppermint oil, and it makes the vitamin have this hint of mint. Minty vitamins, are you dying? They don't taste shocky. So vitamins are sort of like putting on sunscreen. The sooner you do it, the better it is for your long-term health. I mean, 90% of women are not getting the nutrients they need every day. For example, 90% of women are not getting enough D3. I know I'm one of them. And over 70% of women are not getting enough omega threes. That's why it's so easy to just have ritual by your toothbrush every single morning. You wake up, you take ritual, you brush your teeth in whatever order you want, by the way. Anyway, some benefits

of this specific vitamin is that it's really good for healthy aging, heart health, bone health, skin health, brain health, kind of everything. I've personally noticed a difference in my hair and nails. I just can see my platinum hair that should be breaking off is still really strong and my nails are growing out of control. So I would tell you guys to go stock the ingredients for yourself. You should go look at the website. They have a really clear breakdown of exactly what's in it and do your own research, be your own guinea pig, but I know you guys are going to love these. Like I said, 95% of women do not get the vitamins and minerals they need on a daily basis. So Ritual created a smarter vitamin with the nine essential nutrients women lack most.

Guys, these are vegan, sugar-free, non-GMO, gluten-free, and allergen-free. They're also made in the USA without synthetic filters or colorants. So just go to ritual.com slash skinny to get yours today. Choose clean ingredients backed by science. Sign up now at ritual.com slash skinny. Shaman Durek is a spiritual guide and gifted healer. Shaman Durek acts as a mediator or bridge between the spiritual and physical planes. Applies ancient spiritual wisdom coupled with decades of devoted study and practice to help bring success, happiness, and healing into people's lives. Get ready to get fired up with this deep diving conversation

with our friend Shaman Durek. This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her. I am perfect with names, constantly improving as Shaman Durek has told me, even though I've struggled with pronouncing in the past. Welcome to the show. Excited to have you here. There's been a long time coming because you have appeared on a lot of the other shows that we work with and represent on the network, your media, that's a retrograde, some of the others, and they have nothing but high praise to sing about you. Why don't you start by introducing yourself to the him and her audience? Hello, beautiful souls. I'm Shaman

Dirk. I'm a third generation shaman. My family's lineage comes from Ghana, from West Africa. And I focus my life on putting the power back in people's hands and making them accessible to understanding how to utilize both their mental, their physical and spiritual well-being in this world today with all of the tumultuous changes happening to make life easier for you, to make things easier. So it's not so convoluted. A lot of times you get spiritual information, it's very convoluted and very disconnected and very woo-woo. And what we have to do is realize that spirituality is not just because you do yoga or you practice

any type of breath work or anything like this, or you're eating chia seed puddings or doing downward dogs, doesn't constitute you being spiritual. A spiritual person is someone who wants to evolve, and that's it. And so my whole thing is to take the knowledge that I've learned from my ancestors and my family's tribe, bring it into the modern world, help people to facilitate their own power so they're not codependent upon any system. So let's knock out some of the quick taboos real quick here. We were talking a little bit earlier on the show before we started recording. Plant medicine. A lot of people associate shamans with plant medicine,

and you were letting us know earlier in the show that that's not necessarily always the case. Yeah, well, you know, the whole thing with plant medicine is that a lot of people have been taking their trips to Peru and really focusing on this very neocentric way of looking at spirituality through shamanisms always carrying plant medicine in their back pocket. And so every time you say you're a shaman, they assume that you do ceremonies and you work with plant medicine. And even one woman even said to me, well, how can you be a shaman? Isn't shamans only Peruvian or Latin? I'm like, actually, the first shaman in the whole entire world was an African woman. So, you know, the culture or the understanding of shamanism has been turned into

this kind of like, I call it the mom and pop shop of, you know, someone who goes to, you know, work with shamans for maybe like a month, two months, even if I see all these books from doctors are like, oh, yeah, I want to stay with this tribe for like six months. That's not enough time to become a shaman. You spend your whole life in training. Like I started training when I was 11 years old. I'm 44 right now. And the journey is every single day. You're constantly learning and taking in.

And even still today, you know, it's an ongoing journey. So people who go into this whole plant medicine theory, they're just looking for an escape. I call it the Disneyland effect. It's the idea of let me find something that gives me a quick fix, like that Jiffy Lube. Like, let's pull your car in and get the Jiffy Lube to, like, fix your oil change. But then you're not leaving with any long-lasting results other than the fact that you sense that everything is love. But then you go back in your job, and then that just erases it, and you're back to where you are at ground zero. And then they come back, and they're like, oh, my gosh, you have to do ayahuasca.

And they want to tell you all the facts about it because they've only gone for a week. Shout out to my friend Steve. Well, it's just it becomes on trend. And I don't like anything that's on trend. That's why I make jokes about it all the time when I'm talking to people. Because the whole trend thing takes away from the natural part of society that is the individual the individualized expression of each person in their own dynamic power so when you go into this idea like oh i did this you should do it too because it's gonna be good for you actually there's a lot of adverse reactions

that could affect you different from the other person based on your biological structure the way that your brain interprets um synthesis the way your sensorium x um works your microbiome all of these things are connected to what's going to happen when you take that plant medicine. So you could actually have an anaphylactic shock and end up going to hospital. And a lot of cases, which happens a lot, which a lot of people don't talk about, there's a lot of deaths from ayahuasca. Really? A lot. Can you elaborate? You're right. I've never heard people talk about it. I know that it happens, but you don't hear people that do it or practice it talk about that side of it.

And I think what we try to do on this show is shed light, both dark and light, on every aspect of anything that anyone's doing, whether you're running a business or in a relationship or doing something like this. So can you shed a little bit more light into that area of ayahuasca? is, is that you are right now, where we are right now in evolution is that we are at this really interesting brink in our existence where everyone is looking for something to quell all of the craziness and aggression that is taking place in media and the things that are happening in our lives on every day. You turn on the news, the news doesn't tell you to think objectively, it tells you what to think. It tells you how to feel. So you become a victim of all of these synthesis that are taking place. And what people don't realize is that they're not going to tell you that people die from plant medicine because the system enjoys this idea that people are going into this very

superficial way of looking at their spiritual growth. Becoming codependent upon anything makes you basically a sheep. And as I say, a lot of people have turned into sheeples because they're so busy listening to their friends. Oh, this is so cool. I got to do this too. And it becomes like the ayahuasca club, but there's no real solid foundation in shamanism that they're learning. So when I, when someone comes to me and I was like, okay, generate electricity in your hands. They're like, I don't know what that is. Okay. Change the synthesis of your body. I don't know how to change your blood pressure. I don't know what that is. And it's unfortunate because people have relied so much upon this kind of like this very new age way

of looking at spiritual growth instead of actually realizing that your true spiritual growth comes from inside, not from the outside. So all these people are dying every year. Like I remember a friend of mine who's a shaman told me that there was a guy who did a ceremony and five people died in a ceremony buried in the backyard, you know, and I was in Ibiza. We were just in Ibiza. And they did an ayahuasca ceremony up on this hill and they do it every

year. And a kid died. He went into anaphylactic shock. They didn't have any shamanic training, so they didn't know how to deal with what was happening to him. And they end up burying him by a tree. This is unfortunate, but they don't talk about it because it's the ugly. They want to make everything like keep you in this very daze. Like, you know, that's what I say about celebrity culture. It's like this glamor. They want to keep you like,

oh my God, let me get more distracted. The more distracted, it goes back to the whole Caesar mentality. It's like, give them cheap bread and give them the arena and they'll never know what the Republic does. I like that you brought up a Caesar reference. The next thing I want to ask you, so how would you describe your practice in the way that you practice shamanism? Like what we were talking about a little bit on the earlier before we started and you were telling us you have a completely different approach. Can you dive into that a little bit? Yeah, absolutely.

So I'm a spirit shaman. So spirit shamans are one of the oldest shamans. We are training is more intense based upon how we observe, how we see, how we understand the world, not from an analytical point of view or from a judgmental point of view, but from an observation. So that's the first part of our training as kids. And so what I teach people, like I'll give you, I'll give you like a basic example. Like say a Wall Street exec comes in and sees me, has no idea why he's seeing me. He just knows that my friend told me to come see you. I'm going to sit down. I'm going to see you. First thing I do is I start reading his thoughts to him. Like this is what's going on in your head. He's like, how did you know that? Then I read their pulse. I

read their pulse. I find out what's going on in their lives. I read their eyes, their tongue. I have them stand up, walk across the room so I can see how their body's moving. It tells me body language. We study in shamanism. We look at animals and nature in the jungle and the rainforest. You can always tell when a snake is going to strike. You can always tell what position a bear is in because their body language tells you what's happening in their behavior. So we look at humans in the same way. And then the other thing we do is we look at synthesis, how available, how ready available you are to energy dynamics. That means that there are waves of energy happening right now, even in this room, there are waves of energy that are coming from different appliances and then coming from outside

and coming from your breath and coming from your body. Most people don't have synthesis available to them because they're bombarded with so much nonsense that they don't know how to clear and like really have a clear read on that energy, but children do. So what I do is get them back to that childlike self that has that awareness already. And then they're able to change everything. Like they can change the gravity in their body. They can make themselves lighter. They can make themselves laugh. They can clean things out of their system. And I was just on The Doctors, which airs on February 1st. And The Doctors wanted me to, I created this thing called spirit hacking. And what I did was I took basic shamanism from the core roots of shamanism,

emerged it with understanding of biology and synthesis, and created this whole technique of healing and transformation called spirit hacking. And literally showed The Doctors on television. And they were in shock. They were was like how is this even possible and the thing is we the type of shamanism when someone comes in works with me it's really the engagement with themselves what i'm basically doing is this cutting out the middleman i'm cutting out the excuses i'm cutting out the bullshit i'm cutting out the oh you know i don't know what's going on with my life you do and and really getting them to step into their power

and then showing them what kind of powers they actually have. Are they clairvoyant? Do they have the ability to sense energies from distances away? Do they have the ability to understand body language? Are they ability to speak to their ancestors? Do they have the ability to move energy frequencies? Can they walk into a room and push energy into a room and make everyone feel their emotions?

All of these things are superpowers. But the reason why we consider them superpowers is because they've been taken away from us the moment we entered into that institution called school. If you guys are TSC listeners and you haven't tried Woo More Play Coconut Oil Lube, you are missing out on life. It's not like anyone needs lube. It's more that it just enhances the sex. This lube is the only lube I will use.

I am obsessed with it. I accidentally forgot it when we went down to Cabo and sex was good, but honestly, it could have been insane with Woo. So next time we got to pack that in my bag. Don't forget. I feel like so many people are worried about, you know, what they're eating or what they're putting on their skin, but they don't think about lube. I mean, if you're going to put something, you know, down there, like let's make sure

let's make sure there's good ingredients. So just to go through the ingredients with you guys, it's virgin coconut oil, which is organic vanilla essence. I mean, that gives you a little a little smell. And then it has beeswax in it for grip because we want it. We want a good grip. You know what I mean? And then stevia for taste. And you can eat it, lick it, suckwax in it for grip because we want a good grip. You know what I mean? And then stevia for taste.

And you can eat it, lick it, suck it, fuck it. Just tell your boyfriends, tell your girlfriends that the Skinny Confidential said you have to try this organic lube and thank me later. To get 20% off your own organic coconut oil lube, go to woomoreplay.com and interpromo code HIMANDHER. That's woomoreplay.com and interpr code him and her. That's woomoreplay.com and enter promo code him and her for 20% off. Have so much fun, guys. Okay, so let me ask you this. If I said right now on the spot, tell me what's going through Michael's head. Could you sit here and tell me right away? Or is it something that no, I want to know, is it something that you have to tap into? Do you need to go get a certain energy?

Is it like a superpower you have? Can you elaborate on that? Yeah, yeah, of course. So there's two different types of thought patterns that come through the brain. One is your immediate thought, the ones that you're constantly flowing. And then there's your cycle thoughts. Your cycle thoughts are the ones that actually make your life the way they're functioning. So I could go into his mind, yes, and find out what his cycle thoughts are.

But to go into his immediate thoughts, it goes so quick that I literally would have to just tune in and really just zap into it. And it's very subtle. So the way I work with people, or the way I engage with them, is to tap into their cycle thoughts, the things that are actually affecting their lives,

the things that they're thinking, the things they hide, the things they don't wanna really their lives, the things that they're thinking, the things they hide, the things they don't want to really look at, the things that they're thinking and processing through their life that's creating the world that they see around them. So like that would be maybe if someone has negative self-talk constantly, you help them tap into why that self-talk occurs, or maybe they have bad habits in the relationships they pick. You help them figure out why those bad habits are occurring.

Is that somewhat correct? I get them straight to the core. Why? this is when you're, this is what's blocking you. This is how it's blocking you. This is what's going on. And I get them to be able to do that for themselves. Can you give us an example of maybe a woman that, that comes in and that saw you where maybe she has something with food or, or, or relationship? Like Michael said, could you give us a specific example of, of someone that had a breakthrough or an epiphany? Yeah, of course. So, for instance, this woman came in and she was – so with her, I operated with the quantum sphere.

So the quantum sphere, you live on a quantum dimensional reality. But you don't see that you live on a quantum dimensional reality because you've been programmed by a system that wants you to think in a linear form. When, in fact, there is no such thing as a future. The future doesn't exist at all. It's an illusion. It was created to make you constantly thrive to yearn for something that you think is coming forward. Everything that manifests in your life comes from something that happens from the past. So when you speak, that becomes the past, and that becomes your next now. It's never like there's a future. So whenever you say, I'm going to do this, or I'm this, or any of these things, it's actually not in congruency with the universal flow of energy.

So that's why people don't manifest what they want, like lose weight or be able to change their health or do any of these things because they're actually speaking and working against themselves by the way they think and by the way they talk. So this woman comes in and she said, oh, you know, I want to go see this psychic. And the psychic told me that I wasn't going to meet anyone and I was going to be alone and so forth. And I said, okay. I said, that's interesting. I said, but you have to understand something. The psychic is looking at your linear. So that means that whatever you're doing right now in your life, that's what they're seeing. What I'm going to do, because I'm a shaman, we're not going to look at your linear. We're going to look at your quantum. Let's find the you that has the relationship, the you that is happy and fulfilled. Let's tap into that spirit that already exists in another dimension, and let's merge your dimensions and make that you.

And so what we did was we looked. We saw that she was, you know, what she does for a living is she's a dressage rider. She, you know, she races champion horses, Arabian horses. She's, you know, riding pants, riding crop, hair in a ponytail, very strict and stern in her body. You know, and when we looked at the part of her that has the relationship, she's wearing a dress. She's doing art. She's laughing. She still works with horses, but she's more connected into her woman nature.

She's more connected into the goddess about her. And so I basically said, in order for this man to step in, these are the traits that you have to have. And so what we need to do is look at why you don't have those traits. And so that's when I went into her thoughts and was like, this is the reason why. This is why you do this. This is why you do that. And then we broke it down. And within six months, she shifted.

And then the guy walked right into her life. Wow. That's incredible. It makes sense when you say it. I don't have to get familiarized with the terms, but at a high level, it makes a lot of sense. It just seems like basically creating the self that could bring those things in as opposed to the, you can't do it if you're living a certain way. That all makes sense. Who are the type of people you work with? A lot of people who are the,

if there's a specific category or type of person that seeks your help. So my, um, the category that I would say seeks my help are really mainstream people. So everyone from like the royal family to lawyers to doctors to psychotherapists, a lot of psychotherapists because they've hit a wall. And then I work with housewives, kids. I work with a lot of children. I have a lot of kids students. I work with engineers, architects, media moguls. What do you call it? Tech guys, biohackers. Is there a common thread that

you see these, like, these all sound like high performance. Is there a common thread you see that maybe these high performers, they hit this wall, like, what does that wall look like to them? So the wall is the system. It's the matrix. It's the idea that you are put into a structure that was created for you by your upbringing, by your parents, by the things that you went to school for. And then you're stuck in that box and you don't see the blind spots of your freedom. You don't see the parts of you that you did deny. Those parts that maybe, you know, you wanted to learn to play the piano. You wanted to, you know, be able to, you know, go on a walkabout or do any of these things that would change your life and see a dynamic different you emerge

but because you you're stuck in that that loop of following the rules and doing what the matrix wants you to do because if not then you're crazy and you lose everything or you'll end up under a bridge and you know you're just completely doing what you're not supposed to do which is what the matrix wants you to believe i go in and help them to see the core of who they are. So the root of who they are, not the root of people pleasing and making everyone like them, but the part of them that lives so truthfully, they don't care if people don't like them. How do you deal with someone that wants to rid guilt? Well, guilt's an illusion. That doesn't make sense. So do you say that to them? Let's get into this. No, I'm serious. I'm serious too. I sometimes feel the emotion of guilt a lot.

I know there's a lot of people listening that feel guilt. Maybe they feel like they're doing a lot in one area, but not in another area. So do you just say that to them? Guilt's an illusion. Snap out of it. I've never heard somebody say guilt's an illusion. And I want to hear this. Yeah.

So do you want me to go into you and look at what your stuff is? I mean, sure. You're cool with that? I'm cool with cool with that okay let's take a look uh the reason why i hold on to guilt is because i don't like people to be upset with me and i want to make sure that everything works out fine and i don't want to put people in a position that makes them feel uncomfortable okay so it sounds like my conversation with my husband you're saying this is what goes on inside of your cycle of your brain. So your guilt is associated to how other people feel and how you are making other people feel. So that means that you're not comfortable yet owning your space. If someone is upset outside of your space or going through something, it upsets your equilibrium internally. So then you make excuses to things and then you

go into this mental cycle with yourself over and over again, talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking about it. But it doesn't solve anything because you're stuck in this illusion of self-flagellation. What does that mean? That means that you're punishing yourself for what you really want to do and how you really want to feel. You feel that that's a bad person because you're stuck in duality, my dear. So the idea of your good versus bad, which I always tell people good gets you an apple pie and truth gets you the kingdom. If you are in this idea of bad, good, bad, good, bad, good, which actually relates to your mother, you would actually see that the whole constructs that you've been stuck in is actually limiting you

from actually seeing all these amazing gifts that you've been pushing down because you were so busy wanting to make sure that people were comfortable with you that you weren't comfortable with yourself. So your guilt is the frustration, the judgment, the things you actually really feel, which are real, right? They're real.

And they deserve to be seen. But what's happened is you've put yourself into this box of I don't want people to be mad at me because if they're mad at me, then I shouldn't exist. And that has been your constant going to. So guilt's an illusion. If someone says I feel guilty for not showing up to dinner when you invited them at eight o'clock and they come at 10 o'clock, they're not really guilty. They're self-flagellating saying, I'm going to punish myself for something I really wanted to do, which is not show up at eight o'clock. So you're punishing yourself for your truth, my love.

And you're too powerful for that. You're a queen. You have to put your crown on. You have to step into your power and realize that a lot of the people you surround yourself with are people who like to complain. Now, I've gone through your list already. I went through all your files when I first walked in. And the thing is, is that if you keep jumping in when you know you don't want to jump in because it quote unquote makes you a good person, your soul doesn't see it as you being a good person it sees you being a person who sacrifices your own happiness to make other people happy and then you actually start sabotaging your own joy so you'll all of a sudden you could be in the happiest mood and then it will drop and then you'll go and talk to your husband and be like you know this thing and i feel like this and this

thing's happening and should i have said that and da-da-da-da. Like you just start second guessing yourself. You don't need to. You don't need to. I've known Lauren a long time. I don't see her cry that often. She's never cried on this show. But I think everything you just said was so spot on from an outside, right? Just me observing.

And I think that it's extremely powerful for her to hear that. Sorry. No, it's okay. for her to hear that. Sorry. No, it's okay. Not that they ever say sorry either. This is a breakthrough period right now. You have to understand where we are right now in our evolution. Right now, we shamans call this the blackout period, okay? The blackout lasts us to 15 to 16 years.

This is when all the stuff that we've been stuffing under the rug has to come out and say, hey, this needs to be put into alignment of love through the lens of love. And we've been operating in the system where we play who's the biggest victim on planet Earth so we can get the rewards. Like who's the biggest victim? Tell the worst story.

Who's the biggest victim? And so everyone is stuck in this kind of like, this moment of pause, this limbo state where they're really having to realize that the only way out is to rebel. And they're gonna have to rebel. You're gonna have to rebel. You're gonna have to get out of the idea

that people, if they don't like you, first of all, it's not about being liked, period. What it's about is unconditional love, right? If someone, it's like the reason why I can see you so clearly is because I love you. And because I love you, I can see unconditionally you. So there's no judgment. So the judgment allows me to see. That's the thing. It's like judgment blocks vision. I always tell people, my grandmother used to always say to me, boy, boy, you see that boy,

you see that kid over there? That one, don't talk to that one. That one is blind. And I say, no, his eyes are open. No, he's blind because he judges. Because when you judge, you're blind, right? And so the thing is, is that you are at this point right now, this beautiful point right now, where all these emotions have been coming up in the past, like, week and, like, month. And the reason why it's coming up for you, and the reason why you keep feeling this antsiness coming inside of you, is because you're a natural humanitarian.

You've always been since you were a little girl. You never could understand why people have to suffer and why they have to go through pain. It's like your biggest thing. Like you would rather give everything you have to make sure someone doesn't suffer. But that's great. And it's a beautiful thing. But then you can't feel, you have to find the balance. You have to find the balance.

Like I tell people when people are like, oh, I'm a vegan. I'm a vegan. You know, I'm like, hey, be a vegan. And sometimes you can be a cheegan. You can cheat and be a cheating vegan. You know, it's like everyone thinks like you got to be spiritual. You got to be like this. You can cheat and be a cheating vegan. You know, it's like, everyone thinks like, you got to be spiritual. You got to be like this. You got to do yoga. You got to eat like this. You got to do this thing. That's not spiritual. That's just you creating kind of a world so you can be loved

and accepted. Be your true self. If you don't want to meditate one day, don't meditate. You know, don't get mad about it. Don't feel guilty. Don't feel upset. You know, this woman came to me this, she goes, I should be in Japan with my family right now. I feel so guilty. I can't be, I haven't been able to function. My husband told me to come and see you. I haven't been able to function for like weeks. I said, you're not guilty. This is an illusion. You're playing a game. You're self-flagellating yourself because if you really wanted to be with your parents, then go be with your parents, but knock it off. Shut up. You're not, you're making jokes to yourself. You're playing games. We are too powerful to play games. We are not here to play small.

We are giants. We're here to play big in this amazing experience here on earth because the system is very smart and it's been playing very, very accurate games with us to get us to become codependent, yearning, buying things, constantly yearning for some attention or some need. We need this. We need that. This black hole that never goes away so we can stay so distracted while they just completely run us into the ground. We have no time for that. There are two things that you can't go wrong with when it comes to gift giving and that's socks and wine. Me personally, I would rather receive wine.

Socks are nice, but wine on and during the holidays is much better. You guys still have time left to get that last minute shopping in, and we have just the right resource for you. Our longtime show partner and one of our favorite brands, Thrive Market, now has clean wines, Lauren Evertz. The clean wine is so insane. I've already told you guys about this. You go to the Italian section. Trust me on this.

You click Italian wines and definitely stock up on the Sandrovese. Okay. It's a dry red wine. It's not sweet at all. And you know that you're getting no flash pasteurization, no manipulation of the wine, and there's no oak chips in it. Plus there's no added sugar. Okay. So if I don't know if you guys have heard me talk about this on Instagram story, but basically a lot of wines often go through this enrichment process, which involves adding a lot of sugar. And I don't want sugar, right? I feel like we get enough sweeteners and other things. Like we don't need sugar in our wine. So Thrive Market's wine has no added sugar, which is amazing. I'm obsessed with that. It's going to help you not be hungover. Like, you know, you might have two or three

drinks, you know, maybe Aunt Susie's being kind of annoying at Christmas dinner. You can just be sitting in the corner with your pinky erect, sipping your organic wine. And just as you guys can get a gift for your loved ones, we have a gift for you. Thrive Market is offering all him and her listeners 25% off your first order and free shipping with a max of $20 when you go to thrivemarket.com slash skinny wine. Again, that's thrivemarket.com slash skinny wine. Thrive Market really is the best. We've had them on this show for a very long time. They have the best prices, the best products, and now the best wines.

Do yourself a favor. Make your life easier by getting your loved ones some clean wine over the holidays. You should also know if you're more of a white wine person, you can get 12 curated red and white wine bottles. So you can give them as gifts. I feel like this is perfect. You can tie a ribbon to it. Sometimes I like to tie a gift card to the wine bottle so they get like a really great bottle of

zero added sugar wine that's organic with a nice little gift card dangling off of like a pink ribbon. So make sure you guys go to thrivemarket.com slash skinny wine and you get 25% off your first order plus free shipping with a max of $20 off. That's thrivemarket.com slash skinny wine. So if when guilt comes up, you think you should snap yourself out of it. What is the conversation that you would have with yourself if it came up? What are you afraid about? Why are you beating up on yourself for being honest?

Yeah. So just unapologetically live your life and the people that are supposed to be there will stay and the people that aren't will die off. Not die off. They're just not, they can't be in your energy. Yeah. And why would you want them to? And here's the other thing. Every human being comes from a different perspective. Never seek someone's approval outside of you because you don't know where they are in their perspective. They could be in hell. They could be that time always runs out and bad things are always happening. So that's who you're going to get your advice from?

No. You have to realize that you are putting yourself in danger if you're seeking the approval of someone else's idea of you. Only you can know you, baby. Own that. Well, I think that point right there is spot on because I think where Lauren sometimes runs into trouble is she is seeking the approval of, like you said, other people's ideas of how she should be.

And what it does is it restricts her from doing exactly what she wants to do and being exactly who she wants to be. That's right. God, I didn't know this was going to be a therapy session. Is it therapy? I love it. Are you sure it's therapy? What would you call it? I just say just being real and hanging out.

Yeah. Like, why has it got to be therapy? You talked about your grandma where you started at, you said, 11 years old. Can you walk us through how you even, like, did you grow up saying, I want to be a shaman when you were little? No, no, no. It was told to me when I was five. It was told to you?

Yeah. So can you tell us about that experience? So in our family lineage, we all have powers, including my niece, who's also here in studio. She has powers too. We all have powers in our bloodline. It comes back from our ancestors because we have like shaman after shaman after shaman in our family bloodline. And so every time a family member dies, that power gets transferred to the next person. And so they're always choosing who the next one's going to be. And it's not an easy path. Like when I see people go like, I'm a shaman, like you can throw a tennis ball in LA and land on someone's head and they'll think they're a shaman.

They'll be like, I'm the shaman dog walker. I think you can name any profession in LA and throw a tennis ball and hit somebody. Yeah. Some people are multiple things. Yeah. Multiple, you know, it's like, you know, but the thing is the path of a shaman. And like, as my niece is smiling in here, it's not an easy path. Like you have to deal with a lot of things that humans don't usually have to deal with.

And so- Can you give us some examples? Yeah, so for instance, you're a kid and you're in your room and the room turns dark and you think maybe it's the moon passing by from a cloud or something, but you realize it's dark because there's spirits in your room

that are actually coming out of the walls and talking to you. And like you'll be in bed and you'll see things staring at you and having conversations or touching you or laying in bed with you. Or you go somewhere and you can smell the smell of gun smoke. You can see pictures of things that have happened. You touch someone, you can see pain and suffering inside of them. But it's so, take it and intensify that. And if you don't have the shamanic training, like I have family members right now who didn't do the training and they've gone crazy.

And it's because you have to embrace your powers. And so you embrace them by creating a structure that they can operate from. And then the way that you operate them is to be of service. So you can never, in our family, you have to be of service in order for it to operate. And, you know, you go through a lot. Like I died when I was 27 years old. That was my rites of passage. I flatlined in Hollywood Presbyterian.

I just got back from the jungle from Belize and some of my training. Died, went to the other side. Can you tell me the circumstances behind that? Yeah. So I had high blood pressure and it blew out my kidneys and I went into anaphylactic shock and I also went into high potassium.

My potassium level is like 10.6. That means that all your organs shut down one by one until your heart shuts down and then you die. And it's the most painful way to die. It's like when you see like they have death row and they give prisoners potassium shots, they don't even get close to that level and it's the most painful thing because every organ shuts down and you can feel it shutting down in your body but i knew i was gonna die so in shamanism we all have this rites of passage and you never know what it's

going to be but because i've was around a lot of different shamans and different elders they're always like oh you're gonna die that's yours you're going to die. That's yours. You're going to die. Like I remember when I was with the Dakotas and we were doing a sweat lodge in the Tamaskal. And then they were like, oh, you know, we saw your jaguar and the jaguar spoke to me and running there. The elder said, and you know, you're going to die a painful death. Right. And I'm like, yeah, I've been told, you know, you just kind of like you just accept it, you know, and you get to a point where you're not so focused on that. You're focused more on all the spirits and all the things you see, all the things that you feel, all the things that

are happening to you at such heightened levels. And, you know, like for my niece who's here, you know, she's been suffering. It's been very difficult for her because she goes through that right now. And it's not easy. So it's not a path like you just go to school and you're like, oh, I learned how to be a shaman. It's literally a life devotion. And so when I died, I went to the other side and I saw everything, why we're here on Earth. I saw all the multidimensional realities of Earth. I saw how many, that we're not just in one body, that we live in so many different galaxies. And I also saw why we suffer so much here on Earth.

And when I asked them, you know, they asked me, do you want to stay or you want to go back? I said, I want to go back. And they said, do you want to go back with full memory? Or would you like us to erase your memory again, so you fully commit to Earth? I said, I can be on Earth and still remember this place and still be committed. And they're like, you're going to be in that space of duality, because Earth is held in a dualistic field because humans accept duality and so i was like that's fine came back i was brain damaged i had uh i was paralyzed they told me i was never going to walk again kidney failure liver failure brain damage couldn't speak couldn't

talk couldn't walk and couldn't eat and i put my brain back together i was in a wheelchair for two years put my legs back together and it's just been like one thing after that's how I got more known in what I engage in in the world is because of the things that I went through and how I'm just immediately would dive in and go to a country like Israel in the middle of a war, go to Turkey in the middle of a war and stand at the precipice where ISIS is and stand and speak to the people and empower them. Because one of the things that I learned is that all our suffering comes from malfunction and thinking. We are all embodiments of God. That's what they to the people and empower them. Because one of the things that I learned is that all our suffering comes from malfunctioning thinking. We are all embodiments of God. That's what they taught me. God is not this Santa Claus theory sitting in the clouds, doling out gifts to those who do good and

punishing those who do bad. God is that little child inside of you who is the creator. All it does is knows how to create. So every time you open your mouth or every time you think, it's creating. And so what we as human beings have to learn is that mindfulness isn't just sitting in an own meditational chair and like, you know, getting into a breath. Mindfulness means how am I using my powers? If you say out of your mouth, life is very hard and you put a period there, you're just now asking spirit, which is God to create that for you. But if you say life is really hard, however, new experiences are coming into my life, new people, and that's opening me up to this new perspective that I've never seen before, period. Now the spirits create that.

How do you deal with or engage with skeptics? Oh, I love them. They're amazing. That's why I figured you'd have some type of response. So like, what does that look like for you? Someone saying like, you know what, I'm listening to this and I don't believe like what, how do you engage with those people? Well, most human beings think, okay, well I have, I deal with a lot of skeptics and skeptics are healthy people. They're healthy because they're curious. And also they're, they want to make sure

that they're not putting themselves into something that's a little bit woo-woo and crazy and off the wall. But what they have to understand is that a lot of skeptics will say they're logical people. And they'll say, oh, I'm very logical. I don't believe in that. Well, that means you're not logical at all. Because a logical person does their due diligence, does discovery, goes on the journey. Then they find and they draw a proclamation. They understand what's happening through their conclusion. And then they say, this doesn't exist because I went down that journey.

If nothing happened, I experienced it and it doesn't work. A person who's skeptic and says they're logical but doesn't take the journey, that's just an ignorant person. And so there's an educational level that we have not been able to obtain but we are now, which is wonderful, which is called emotional intelligence. And it's the reference and understanding of how you are actually experiencing the world in which you live in based on your perception and your choices. So your perception is governing what you see. That's why you can send as many spaceships into outer space. We're never going to see another civilization because our planet collectively doesn't believe it exists. And so that collective is what is building the machinery. That collective is what's building your computers. That collective is what's building your city. So that resistance and that reflection is also built inside that technology. So for me, I always tell people,

a wise person sees many pathways. an unwise person sees one. Yeah. No, I mean, even like dumbing it down to physical activity, I think, you know, you look at high performing athletes is because they haven't set limitations on themselves. They believe constantly that they can get to that next level, do that next feat, do that thing that nobody else has done before. And I feel like, you know, the people that limit themselves, the people say, well, I can never do more than that. Like, this is what my body can do. I can only run one mile. I could never do two, that type of mentality. And so it's human beings have demonstrated that they can push barriers constantly if they believe it. And the ones that can't are the ones that set self-limiting

beliefs around themselves. What's one thing that the audience can do that maybe it takes five minutes every day that will make a big difference overall? Well, okay. Why don't you do it and I'll walk you through it. Okay. Am I going to cry again? I'm scared. Never go into anything. Am I going to cry again? And I'm scared because now you're cursing yourself and you're programming whatever it is that you want to experience. I'm ready. I'm open. I'm not scared. There we go. Okay. So what you're going to do is say, I love the way. I love the way. That I'm open and able to

receive information. That I'm open and able to receive information. I love when I walk in the room, I light up the room. I love when I walk in the room, I light up the room. I love how right now I'm feeling powerful energies moving through my body. I love how right now I'm feeling powerful energies moving through my body. I love how my synapsis is firing up and my brain is at optimum level. I love that I have open narrow pathways. And that my meridian system is open. And my meridian system's open. I love how I'm taking a deep breath and grounding into myself.

I love how I'm taking a deep breath and grounding into myself. I love how easy it is to be present with myself. I love how easy it is to be present with myself. And I love how I'm always giving unconditional love and receiving unconditional love. And I love how I'm always giving unconditional love and receiving unconditional love. I love what a genius I am. I love what a genius I am. And I love how I

bring light into the lives of people. And I love how I bring light into the lives of people. And I love how lit I feel right now. And I love how lit I feel right now. How do you feel in your body? Great. I feel great too. It actually is relaxing. It shifts, you shift your energy. Now, because you did that, watch, say, I love how I can generate power in my body. I love how I can generate power in my body. Okay, now hold your hand like this. Good. And say electricity.

Electricity. Say increase it, I'm not afraid. Increase it, I'm not afraid. What is weird? Yeah, isn't that crazy? You can feel energy. Of course, because you're allowing your perception to be aware that it exists. I had an experience recently with the first time I've ever felt energy. You can feel it. And when you start to pick up on it, when you hug

someone or when you shake someone's hand, you can feel the energy. I tell Michael that all the time about energy. I think it's one of the most important things. So that's something that someone can do for five minutes a day to sit down and just say good things about themselves. Well, the thing is, you're not saying good things about yourself. You're speaking to God. And God hears what you say about yourself and then creates you to become it. See, that's the difference that what I was trying to explain to people is that when I died, the malfunction in thinking that we have

as human beings is that we say incorrect things with our power. We speak against ourselves. We speak into existence with fear. We speak in ways to curse ourselves. You know, once one woman said to me once, you know, I'm afraid to go to Haiti because they do like voodoo and they do curses and stuff. And I'm like, why? You should be used to it. You're cursing your kids all the time. She goes, what? I go, yeah, remember your daughter's getting ready to go to Guatemala. And what did you say? I hope you don't, you got to be careful so you don't get kidnapped. Right there, you're cursing her. You're drawing the perception that kidnapping is possible. Therefore, that opens up an energy frequency in the universe that makes it now that you've just connected

to the person that could kidnap her. And lo and behold, if your daughter believes that to the umpt degree, she will walk into that same situation. We have to be mindful. We go into someone's hospital and you see someone sick, you don't say, oh my God, I feel so bad for you. I hope you get better. Uh-uh.

Because in tribal culture, when someone is sick in a tribe and they come and I see them, it's simple. It's come with me. Any family members who come, I say, what do you see? They say, oh, I see that person, you know, my family member, they're going through so much pain. Okay, you cannot go in. What do you see? I see them strong. They're powerful. They're a warrior. They're going to get through this. Okay, you can go in the room. Because every time we open our mouths, we're creating or we're destroying. So what would you say to someone that's very, very stressed all the time? Well, look, it's... Yeah, but you have to understand who you're dealing with.

First of all, as you're pointing over to Michael. Maybe it's me. No, Michael is an empath. So he's picking up on all of the different frequencies of emotions that he's getting bombarded with. And he puts a lot of responsibility on him because he has a certain perfectionist side to him that wants to be able to activate those things in a certain way. Once you realize that your perfectionism is a joke, it doesn't mean anything other than true perfection is your ability to feel good about something.

If your idea of perfection, we don't live on a perfection planet. We live on a planet of refinement. If it was a perfected planet, we probably wouldn't even have in this conversation. The thing is, you have to ease up on yourself. You have to ask yourself, is me slapping my hand

actually the greatest motivator for me? Or is me loving, embracing, and nurturing myself a better motivator for me? For me, for the people that I care about, my team, my loved ones, whenever there's a problem that they're going through, it's hardwired in me. I want to do whatever I can to solve it. And where I need to get better, I feel, is that I can't always solve it right away. But I'm just one of those guys, you throw me in a situation and I'll just gut through whatever kind of pain I need to gut through to fix it. And so that

sometimes gets me in trouble because I'll communicate with people and my intention is to help, but my delivery is sometimes, you know, like if I see a problem, let's get, let's look at that problem, let's solve it. And so it's just that by nature, I'm just somebody who tries to fix things and improve things. But a lot of the time it gets me in trouble because you can't always do that. Do you want to know why you do that? Yes. Am I going to cry? Yeah.

The reason why you do that is because you have a difficulty in your own personal space. That means that when something is going on outside of you, you don't feel like you can be at peace. So your peace is disrupted. And that peace means that you have to fix the problem to bring it back in because you don't trust the people around you to fix the problem. You think that you're the only one who can fix it. And that's because you've put that position on yourself because of your family. Because when you are in a position and you have people on the outside constantly going all the time, every time,

you cannot find equilibrium because you're an empath so the first thing you do is you leave your center you go and fix the problem you then you go back to your center then you do it again then you do it again then you do it again and you get it and it now becomes a natural part of what you think you need to do in order to feel safe the thing is you don't feel safe with other people. You haven't gotten that clarity yet of saying, I'm gonna trust in how other people choose to do things. I'm gonna trust that they're gonna do it in a way that actually is necessary for it to happen. You're still holding back and going,

nope, I'm gonna jump in with the Superman mentality and I'm gonna save the day. But at the same time, you're taking away their power. So then they're gonna start having problems with you because you're taking away their power. So then they're gonna start having problems with you because you're taking away their intrinsic learning process for them to be able to have their power and hone it, own it, and live it, and shift it, and lift it themselves.

You're taking it and going, okay, well, obviously you're sending a message to them, but you're not saying it out of your mouth. You're doing it through your actions. And then they feel it, and then they feel their power being taken, and then they feel like you're being controlling. So then they come back and snap back at you to get their power back.

And that's going to be a power struggle. And you're going to stay in that power struggle until you learn what is called to be able to get into a space of trust. Right? And the thing is you have to look at one of the factors when I first gave you a hug. You're upset with the world. And you have been upset with the of the factors. When I first gave you a hug, you're upset with the world and you have been upset with the world for quite some time. And you have held this angst inside of you

about the world because you look at people and you're like, why aren't they using their brains? How come they're not thinking? I mean, this is not that difficult. And it's like, it eats at you inside. Taylor, get the box of tissues. Get it over here right now. Oh my gosh. I love the world though. tissues. Get it over here right now. Oh my gosh.

I love the world though. You love the world, but you get frustrated. You love the world so much that it upsets you because you have no control over the things that are happening, which again, makes you feel not safe. So instead of saying, I'm going to love the world and trust that there is a process that's actually moving things in a direction,

you don't look at that process. You look at the lack that's taking place and you let that get under your skin. And then that motivate, that gives you like your power. You're like, you get all like hyped about it and get all like serious. And you'll even like read things and like talk about it and get all like hyped about it. You know, I can see you. I see you like sitting there and being like, and did you know, the thing is, is the thing is i get it but what it's doing to you is it's clarifying the world that you don't want to see you're giving more power to that so you're giving the darkness and the matrix more fuel it's like me going oh the waters are so polluted great i'm now so i'm supporting pollution instead of me going you know what i love is that these powerful energies right now are cleaning the water and waking people up.

And people are having this amazing transformation inside. Because I'm going to look at the highest possibility in things and put my power there. I'm going to look at a person and be like, I know you're so powerful. Like, just even being here in the room with both of you, I know how powerful you are. I know how dynamic you are. I know what a genius both of you are. So I'm not looking at the lack. I'm going to empower the part of you that's the light.

I'm going to empower the part of you that is powerful, that can motivate and create and innovate and create new understandings of thought to the people who are listening to you and that you're sharing with. So what happens is every time you take someone's power away because of your need to feel like you're helping them, you're actually reaffirming your issue that you have with the world. It's I love this world so much, I'm hurt. I love this world so much, I'm hurt. Because what is the big hurt? The big hurt is I can't stop someone from hurting themselves. That's your big hurt.

That's what eats at inside of your heart because then it goes back again to the things you've experienced in your life. Watching someone walk off a cliff and not being able to stop them, that hurts. What did you say in your wedding vows to me? I don't know. I said a lot of things. Doing things that – No, I said one of my vows is like i'll gut through it when i watch lauren do things the hardest way possible i'll be there with a smile but it's

it's true like i i love efficiencies but i'm realizing that that's my idea of efficiencies is not others but it's like it's taken there's a lot of like self-work that i feel i've had to go through for the last few years and i'm still like still a work in progress. A lot of what you're saying resonates for sure, but it's not coming from a negative space. It's coming from like, I just see what I perceive to be an issue or a problem. I'm like, Oh, let me like, I'm a fixer by nature, right? Like I just want to help, but it doesn't always come off that way because of my approach for sure. I'm not going to say negative. What I'm saying is it comes off from any form of discord that is in your area. That means if it disturbs your equilibrium,

you are going to engage, but your engagement is not coming from a place of I'm engaging with you because I believe in you. It's I'm engaging with you because I don't see that you can handle this so i'm gonna do it for you and then it makes the other person feel like they're not it's a control thing right it's like you're gonna the control aspect is the fear aspect that you're that something worse is going to happen and you didn't do anything to make it to change it again this goes into your childhood this goes into the idea that you felt that you couldn't help someone and take away their pain and watch them go through that pain and then felt like you couldn't change it.

And so because of that, you are playing that out in yourself. And it's an easy fix. It's like, it's super easy to shift. But in order to do so, we have to get you into your humility and humbleness, which is the ability to understand ease and grace is the pace. And it's to recognize this part of your being that is such a lover, that it loves so deep, it hurts. I'm hurting, Lauren. I'm hurting. Yeah, you were pretty accurate

on everything you just said. Like, I mean, that's pretty crazy. Taylor. I like crazy. Let's use a different word. Let's say eye-opening. That was eye-opening. Taylor, wouldn't you agree? Absolutely. Taylor's really good friends with Michael since he was 12 yeah no I mean I

can't I'm somebody that likes to argue I can't argue myself out of this so yeah he can't argue himself out there's nothing you can say that an argument is even not even a necessary component of the natural understanding of human nature argument is a is a fear-based component of not being able to acknowledge the different um aspects of life right like when i go to a different country and how people choose to observe god in this place or how people deserve their spirituality in this place i'm not here to argue with them like i'll get like a lot of religious figure figures who will speak to me and like get in my face and like you're like you can be whoever you want to be and i love you

unconditionally but if you feel like you feel threatened by me that's your own personal stuff i don't need to argue with you and the thing with you is that you should change the word argue because you're not an arguer that's not your issue your issue is you get fixed on certain ideas and you like to debate you're a debater you're a master debater and you like to debate because you why because you feel that if someone can match your debate then it you get you gain respect for them you you have this whole like like like you get a badge of respect from you for your ability to debate with you on topics that you actually feel very strongly about because when you get strong about something i mean even your friend um taylor is it on the back taylor is always trying to talk you off a cliff. Okay. Or it depends what day of the week it is.

Sometimes he's diving off the cliff with me. Sometimes he's diving off the cliff with you. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the dynamic of how he sees things. Taylor is a visionary. So when you're dealing with a friend who's a visionary, he's able to see different points. So his job is to get you to calm down and to get you to like look at Possibility in a different way and so with you because you're a person who gets your passionate and you have so much love But you don't understand where that passion and that love is really being driven from you get very intense and you get very like yeah

Like it's almost like yeah You know and that's okay, but the thing is, all of these things are easy to shift and to maintain. It's all about understanding the self. And you asked me, like, how I work. You know, I say engage. I don't like the word work. But let's say how I engage with people. I tell people the truth.

I'm not here to bullshit people. Because there's enough people out there bullshitting people. There's enough people out there, you know, playing smoke and mirrors with people and not really engaging them into their own power. The life coaches and doing that whole thing. There's some people who are life coaches who are doing great things. The thing is, there's a lot of people who are charlatans

who are pretending because it's on trend. It's hot. It's sexy to be spiritual. But when I tell them, okay, if it's so hot and you're doing all these free hugs and you're all about free hugs and love and light and all this kind of stuff,

come with me to countries, come with me to Uppsala, to Sweden, where I go and hang out at the refugee camp. Come hang out with the people getting off the boats. Come hang out with the people who are having racial issues and the racial tension.

No one wants to deal with those things because that's not resonating with them. That's not connecting to their heart and heart hugs because that's all bullshit is what it is. It's like true love and light people stand up and ground themselves in light. It doesn't matter how dark someone is. They hold the light for them. And then that person turns into the light because they're fortifying themselves. Okay. So let me ask you this. What do you do when you feel depressed? What do you do when you feel low? What do you do when you feel angry? What are your tools? Okay. So can you explain, like walk us through that? Like say someone really pisses you off.

Okay. So if someone pisses me, I look at my niece, she's like, so when someone really pisses me off, the first thing I do is ask what is, why am I upset? And what do I want to change in them that I'm not supposed to change, but it's for me to look at my own perception. So I go to my shadow because the shadow knows everything. So the shadow is the aspect of your being that everyone has this misinterpretation of the shadow. They think the shadow is like this dark side of yourself, like the dark side of the moon or something like that. The shadow is your being that is the light that holds all the junkery that you don't want to take responsibility for and so holds it for you so it becomes the shadow.

So the shadow knows every step you should be taking, every reason how you feel. So I go, shadow, why did that person irritate me? And it's like, oh, because you have insecurities and you are constantly holding judgments and those insecurities and that's the reason why that person affected you. Oh, okay. Shadow, how do I deal with the situation? You need to look back at when you were a kid in school and people were bullying you. Oh, okay, great. And then shadow, what do I need to do to move completely through it? And then it just tells me each step of the way. It knows every single thing. I tell, when I work with cancer patients and I tell the person, why do you have cancer? They'll be like, what do you mean? Why do I have cancer? I go, why do you have cancer? Ask the

shadow. And then they go, oh my God, I should have got out of this marriage. Oh my God. I, I, I've been beating up on myself and being so hard on myself and I'm eating this and I'm doing this. It's a multiple of things. What people don't understand when they come see me, the first thing I look at is like their pulse energies. Like what. So I lift up their arm sleeve and I read their pulses and how their blood is flowing in their body, which tells me in shamanism, everything is about flow. So the ocean flows, the river flows, the rain lets go. Everything is in this beautiful ecosystem. Our system has this amazing ecosystem too. And when there's disruption, it tells us shamans what is being disrupted. And so what most people usually do in life is they build up their identity by being hurt collectors.

They go through life picking up all the horrible things that they don't like. It's like imagine you have this beautiful house and you're like getting a broken chair or a broken table or you're picking up some doggy poo-poo and putting it in your house. No one needs that in their home. But people have this need to do that because they feel like it justifies all the things they've gone through. So it makes them smarter and wiser and more powerful. So they use suffering as a way to evolve. That's why we're going to what we're going through on earth right now is because we haven't gotten off the wheel

of suffering and into the wheel of love through correction, which is loving something, seeing the imbalance of it, and then putting it back through the lens of love for correction, which is loving something, seeing the imbalance of it, and then putting it back through the lens of love for correction. So the shadow's job is to really just show you what's really there. And that's it. It's like, it's not, it doesn't care about your likes. It doesn't care how many people you have on Instagram. It doesn't care about who you're hanging out with on the weekend and, you know, and who you're doing your, your, your mochaccinos with and whatnot. And who's like, it doesn't give a shit. What the shadow cares about is you becoming the illumined being that you were here to become. That's it.

It sounds like we all have the answers within ourselves. Of course you do. That's why I can't stand when people go into this like leader, like, you know, being in the spiritual world, I get invited to speak all over the world and I'll meet other people who've written books and they're like, you know, I've written for Hay House. I did this. I did that. And I said, I don't really care. It's not about you. It's about the message. And it's not about followers. We don't want followers. So I make jokes about that song. Kiki, are you with me? You know, you're riding. You know, and people jumping out of the cars, like crazy people, like, really, really people, really? Like, you're going to kiki yourself into existence?

You know, it's like there's a point of reality. And the point of reality is like to let your light shine and radiate the way you want it to shine. Not because someone is jumping out of a car and everyone's now doing it. And you turn on and everywhere you see people running and dancing by the side of a car. That's clowns. Are we clowns in circuses are we you know the reality is if we are operating in a spiritual consciousness the spiritual consciousness is about us bringing something to the table that no one else can and the only way you can do that is by being selfish that means selfish is the new self-love so getting into yourself and then realizing like do you think i'm a shaman because i'm this selfless people always like oh you're so selfless dirk you're so selfless no i'm not i'm not selfless i'm selfish i am so selfish that i want everyone to have power so i can sleep better at

night so when i lay my head on a pillow i'm like oh my god everyone around me is so powerful i don't have to be so stressed out all the time you know so it's the reality so so you know the governing aspect of the nature of my being is here to build leaders, not followers, you know? And this whole mentality of like, follow this person, follow that person. I see people following celebrities who talk about health and wellness and don't know what the hell they're talking about. And I'm looking at them and I'm like, are you kidding me? Like you're just following them because they're a celebrity? I mean, okay, glamour, Caesar,esar you know so the thing is to in order to really get to that solid core place in yourself it's not locking it down with truth and like holding that truth and

like no matter what like if you don't like sex then be like i don't like the sex like it's okay like if someone asks you to eat something you don't want to eat it and they feel the person i don't want to eat because i don't want to hurt that person's feeling screw that because you need to be honest and real about it when someone gives me a gift I don't want to eat because I don't want to hurt that person's feeling. Screw that. Because you need to be honest and real about it. When someone gives me a gift, I don't want that gift. I give it back to them. I'm like, that's not for me. Because I'm not going to put it in my gift-giving box.

That's where your gift is going. Are you comfortable with that? They're like, no. I'm like, then good. So then take the gift back. Shaman Derek, we've had some laughs. We've had some cries. I'll use your words.

It's been a highly engaging conversation. Thank you for coming on the show. Got to do it again sometime. Where can everyone find you? I know that just like to check you out, to stalk you. Give us all the details. Stalkers. Yeah.

Okay. So if you want to level up your powers and you want to learn how to use your shamanic abilities, tap into your... Because right now, to be on planet Earth and not have your powers is a scary thing because you should have those signals opening so you don't walk into a bomb you don't have these type of things happen so if you want to level up you can go to my website at shaman dirk.com sign up on my newsletter find out when i have classes i also have a podcast called ancient wisdom today podcast where i drop knowledge from tribe from understanding of cultural understandings of sociology and just really get you into understanding how to just really get lit in this lifetime and live

in this time without being affected by all the nonsense. And you can also check me out at Instagram at Shaman Durek. Love you. Thank you for coming on. Thank you for doing the show. Of course. Thank you. I love you both. Oh my gosh. Guys, wait, before you go, I am going to give one of you a five beauty products if you let me know your favorite part of this episode on my latest Instagram. I will DM one of you, drop into your inbox, and send you some very Skinny Confidential-esque

beauty products plus a pop socket. Thank you so much for listening. Make sure you're subscribed to the show and you rate and review it on iTunes. See you next week. This episode was brought to you by Ritual. You guys know I'm a human guinea pig and I'm still here taking Ritual and loving it. Okay, it's filled with iron, vitamin E, magnesium, folate, and omega-3. Kind of everything. It's made in the USA without synthetic fillers. 95% of women do not get the vitamins and minerals they

need on a daily basis, so Ritual created a smarter vitamin with the nine essential ingredients women lack most. Go to ritual.com slash skinny today to choose clean ingredients backed by science. Sign up now at ritual.com slash skinny.