The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Soap Opera Star, Model, & Entrepreneur - Denise Vasi On Switching Career Paths, Natural Birth, How To Become Multifaceted

Episode Date: July 14, 2022

#478: On today's episode we are joined by Denise Vasi. Denise is an entreprenuer, brand founder, American fashion model and actress. She is best known for her roles as Randi Hubbard on ABC's soap opera All My Children and Raquel on Single Ladies.  To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) Check Out Lauryn's NEW BOOK, Get The Fuck Out Of The Sun HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential  The Hot Mess Ice Roller is here to help you contour, tighten, and de-puff your facial skin and It's paired alongside the Ice Queen Facial Oil which is packed with anti-oxidants that penetrates quickly to help hydrate, firm, and reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, leaving skin soft and supple. To check them out visit www.shopskinnyconfidential.com now.  Produced by Dear Media 

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A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her. It was the beginning of like followers because when Twitter launched, I was the one in ABC going, guys, everybody get on Twitter. I didn't understand what social media was, but I was like, this is what's going to happen because soap opera fans are following me. Like as soon as you know it, this is going to be how they quantify how much they write for us. Every episode they write for you, the more you get paid. Hello. Denise Bossy is on the Skinny Confidential Him and Her Show today. This episode, of course, goes all over the place. We talk about all different kinds of things. So get ready. Denise Bossy is a fashion model and actress. She's known for some major roles on All My Children and on Single Ladies, but she's also an influencer, a clean beauty influencer to be specific. She's an influencer,

a mom, the founder of Made, a beauty enthusiast, and a self-care prioritizer. She's also absolutely beautiful and has tons of amazing tips and tricks. Like I said, in this episode, we talk about natural birth, her upbringing, Ford models. She was a huge, huge model. She's absolutely stunning. We talk about skincare, beauty tips, all the things. I think you're really going to like this episode. It really is a bag of Chex Mix. On that note, let's welcome Denise to the Skinny Confidential Him and Her Show. This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her show. This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her. When did you know that you wanted to be a model? Did someone come up to you at a gas station or

was it something that you came to your parents and said, I want to be a model? It was not me. It was constant, like being poached on the street. And I didn't even understand it. I was so young. This was even before I actually started. I was so little that I just didn't understand why. You know, I grew up in New York, Brooklyn on the subway kind of thing. And people would come up to me and my mom and be like, is she wearing contacts? Yeah. And I didn't know what contacts were. I don't even think anybody that I knew could afford contacts, but I would literally, people would be like, look up, look down to the left. We had a family friend who was adamant and I had done everything. I, you know, did ballet for a week. I, you know, piano.

I just kept on and kept on and didn't find anything that really stuck. And my mom was like, do you want to try this? And I was like, well, what does that mean? And she's like, oh, you know how you like read YM and Seventeen Magazine and you'd be one of those girls. And I was like, she's like, you might have to miss school. I was like, okay, cool. Let's try it. And it just kind of took off from there. I did a test shoot. I met with three agencies at the time. I don't remember the smaller one, but Wilhelmina and Ford were the two big ones. Wilhelmina was like, she's gorgeous. That's so kind of them to say, but we don't know what to do with her because they had at the time like an all blonde, blue eyed board. And and maybe maybe that one really dark-skinned black girl that they kind of had to have,

but they didn't really know how to manage people of color at the time and there wasn't that much diversity. It was just kind of starting to pop. Ford called, picked up the phone and actually called and said, we want to sign her. And my mom was like, oh my God, do you know what Ford is? And it was oprah days where

cindy and claudia would go on oprah and like tell their story and my mom was i think in a little bit of disbelief and i was like i don't know what any of this means but everyone seems pretty happy and excited so we went in we met with ford my mom set down like some really basic rules my kid will do it when she wants to if If she doesn't want to, she won't. How old were you again? Twelve. Wow, okay. Yeah.

She can miss a certain amount of school if she falls off. We'll have to stop. She can eat whatever she wants, no restrictions. So my mom was really on it.

I think she really had an understanding from kind of watching those Oprah Winfrey filled, you know, Donnie shows. She knew how to protect you. She knew how to protect you. She knew how to protect me.

And I grew up on set. Did you meet Eileen Ford? I did. Eileen Vim several times. She personally signed me. She, I have heard, is fabulous. Fabulous. And her daughter was fabulous.

And I grew up eventually after she moved on, working with Katie. And they were fantastic. And my booker, Andrea, is know, she moved on working with Katie and they were fantastic. And my booker, Andrea, is still a friend of mine to this day, even though she has nothing to do with the business. They really protected me really well and protected the girls at the time well. And then we all kind of branched off and went other places.

People ask you that you had contacts because your eyes are very unique. What are they? Are they blue or green? Or is it like a little, it's like a. They change according to my husband to my husband when i'm angry they get dark i don't know i don't look at myself i think he might be right watch out um he better watch out let me ask you this would you put your kids in modeling after your experience good question so i love what we have today. Yeah.

You know, I look at what we do and I can share my child and she's at seven years old now and she can choose when she wants to be a part of something and she semi-understands. So, hey, Lennox May, American Girl doll wants to send over some stuff. But, you know, it's kind of a job for mom.

So I'll do all this stuff that you can't do, but do you want to be in the pictures playing with the dolls and she'll say yes or no she'll say yes right away of course she's a ham so she's like what after they send me four boxes last time of course now we have to think about okay what day do we kind of take the photos what day feels good for her what day isn't too much you know i know that wednesdays are her pack days so we won't do that and she gets. And then sometimes I have to call Klein and say, listen, I'm sorry, we're going to be late on this. My daughter's not ready. She doesn't want to do it right now. And, you know, if you want to work with me,

understand that it's always family friends first. So you learned through your mom and your experience how to put parameters and boundaries around your own kids. Absolutely. Now, would I send her out on a set? No, I don't think I'd send her out every single day on a set. I think because we have the opportunity to do what we do now, it's not that necessary. Yeah. You know? So when you were young, it sounds like you had a pretty good experience, but there's obviously a dark side to modeling. I mean, first of all, whenever I have to take photos and I'm not a model, but whenever I have to take photos, I dread it. It's a lot of work. You can't even do it by the way. Michael Bostic literally cannot do it for more than 30 minutes. He's he, in fact, if you go to my Instagram,

there's like four photos of us in the entire feed. He can't do it. We've talked about it on this show that I have a ton of respect for models and people that do this for a living because it is not easy. And it's not as simple as just standing in front of a camera. There's lights flashing on you. There's only people telling you to move. It's oh my God. You have to pose in different areas that aren't comfortable. You have to worry about the light, the makeup.

Everyone's picking you apart. Everyone's touching you. Everyone's touching you. Also, another thing no one talks about too, and we can get into this too because you did acting, is like to have all the energy in your face. Like you sit down and it's the makeup

and the hair and the eyebrows and the photographer. It's a lot of energy. It's a lot of energy. And one of the hardest things for me was you have no opinion. Yes. You have no opinion opinion i don't like that you feel like a prop for me i have naturally curly hair you can see it wearing out today and they

would burn it straighten it to the point of like this is damaging my hair please don't glue in extensions i mean you know it's the 90s they were gluing things into my hair and I was going home like didn't have the stuff to take it out and start ripping my hair out. The hardest part for me was always that you just weren't allowed to have an opinion. And that's kind of when I started to look at acting more seriously and say, well, at least you can help craft who this character is and you can give this character quirks and you can bring parts of you and parts of some imaginary version of you. And that was fun.

And then when I transitioned out of that into the digital space was my best. This was my best because I get to tell my narrative. I get to still have, everything for me growing up when I learned that this was an opportunity to have a platform,

which we didn't call a platform at the time, right? But like to have a voice, to encourage people to do things and for people to pay attention to what you had to say. And you could use that in a positive way. And that for me has always kind of been my calling. And so I was like, okay, this is why, you know, these things have kind of fell in my lap because this is going to give me the opportunity to help change people or inspire people, whether it was what beauty product they were going to wear or whether it was, you know, ask your doctors more questions. You actually can have a home birth or, you know, you can do this without taking antibiotics. And when I got into the digital space, I was like, oh, wow, now I get to tell my story and influence in a way that feels

very true to me. Because you were so young, you started at 12. Did you see the dark sides of eating disorders, drugs, all these things that we hear about all the time? Or was that not even in your ether? I definitely saw it. But, you know, I always tell my mom. So I left. I think I was 25 when my mom I was sitting on the stoop waiting for a taxi to go back to the airport at my mom. So I left, I think I was 25 when my mom, I was sitting on the stoop waiting for a taxi to go back to the airport at my mom's house. And she goes, do you have any cash on you? I was like, probably not.

I have my ATM card. She's like, you always have to cash on you, D. Gives me, Dino, my family calls me Dino because I'm part Greek. Gives me $50 in cash. And she goes, I think you're gonna be okay. And I was like, mom, I've been on my own for almost a decade. I'm definitely gonna be okay. And I was like, mom, I've been on my own for almost a decade.

I'm definitely going to be okay. And she's like, just so worried. And I go, you know, the foundation you've given me is always there. So no matter what, I've come close to the fire. I did, you know, hung out in bad neighborhoods, maybe tried some stuff, maybe made bad decisions. But I never, never like went all in to anything. I always had my mom. My mom was a single mom and she gave up her, I don't cry. She gave up her entire life for me. And I carry that

with me, not in a way of guilt, but a way of pride. And I carry with me and I pass it to my kids and I make sure that that's part of our family today to this day, every day. So you're acknowledging the sacrifices you made and making sure that they're worth their worth. Yeah, absolutely. A single mom of how many? Just me. Thank God't i mean i i have two kids and i have my uh partner who's fantastic i don't i can't even imagine that's how i feel too i can't imagine being with someone that's not 50 50 like i just don't i don't understand it and then and i do have two brothers from my mom's second marriage but where i don't even consider my stepdad my stepdad. Like that's my dad.

My brothers are my brothers. So you left your home at 15? Yeah, right before 16. Did you move into your own apartment? I did. What was that like and why did you decide to do that? So the flip side of that was that my mom was really protective. She wanted, my mom had me very young and she wanted to be sure that I didn't go out and make those mistakes or what could be seen as a mistake.

You know, there was a lot of rules and I'd been working at 15, three years and I'd been making a lot of money. And I was, you know, in Soho shooting in studios and going to fabulous dinners and being, and I just thought I was grown and I'd kill my daughter, kill her if she ever, if she ever tried some shit like this. But I literally, after I had my daughter, two weeks later if she ever tried some shit like this. But I literally, after I had my daughter, two weeks later called my mom and bawling, crying.

I'm so sorry. Isn't that weird once you have a daughter and you're like, oh my God, what did I put? What did I put my mom through? And also, that's not fair. You gypped your mom because Michael and I talk about this all the time. We're like, we have this many years left. That's not fair. She got gypped. So you know what?

Got it short. You know what? I didn't understand that or have any perspective of that till I met my husband. I'm going to tell you about my protein pancakes. These pancakes are so good. You're going to be obsessed. So what I do is I take four egg whites. I do a tablespoon of coconut oil, and then I do a scoop and a half of protein. I use rituals protein. We'll get to that. Then I do cinnamon. I mix it all up. I do a little coconut oil on the pan. It's absolutely delicious. I do some syrup, some crushed berries, a little lemon. Oh my God, you guys got to try it. This is my go-to after a workout or I'll do Ariel Lohr's protein oats. And I'm very specific about

my protein. We've talked about this before, but I use Ritual. It's the essential protein and it's delicious because it has 20 grams of protein per serving, which we love. It's kind of like a vanilla flavor, but it's like delicious Madagascar vanilla bean extract. So it doesn't taste fake. It's also vegan, gluten-free, and there's no added shit, no added sugar, no added sugar alcohols, soy-free. That's an important one. You always want to make sure your protein is soy-free and non-GMO. Ready to shake up your protein ritual? Our listeners get 10% off during your first three months at ritual.com slash skinny. Ritual even offers a money-back guarantee if you're not 100% in love. Visit ritual.com slash skinny today for 10% off your first three months.

Our listeners get 10% off during your first three months at ritual.com slash skinny. Ritual even offers a money back guarantee if you're not 100% in love. Visit ritual.com slash skinny today for 10% off your first three months. So my husband unfortunately sadly lost his mom. I never got to meet her when he was 32. And you can imagine that kind of life shift for him made the relationship of mother and son so much more important. He held on and still holds on to all those beautiful moments. And me and my mom had, you know, friction many times. She's strong. I'm strong. And she raised me to be strong. And she always raised raised me don't depend on no man go out there work work hard build things buy things get your own things invest work and so that's what i thought i was

doing and that kind of kind of flipped on her i guess and flipped on her in what way meaning well because i left so i was like cool i'm working i'm making money like i can just go out and do this. You left the nest earlier. Earlier. And we had moments of friction. And when I first met my husband, he turned around and he said, you took like a part of mothering away from her. And you have to realize that. I mean, I can see what he's saying. You're probably like,

oh, come on, don't say that to me postpartum. Fuck, you're already so, your hormones are so fucked up. So effed up. But I get what she i get what he's saying like there's three more years that she could have had but at least but i think it worked out for her but we're super close now i mean we've always been super close no matter what i've always you know i always come home for the holidays no matter where in the world i am i've missed one like, sorry, COVID. So two Christmases my entire life. I always come home and I've lived everywhere. I've traveled everywhere.

And I'm like, I got to go home for Christmas. I see my family Christmas and almost every Easter. You mentioned tough neighborhoods throughout the conversation. Like, do you mean the neighborhood you grew up in or just exposed to tough neighborhoods? The neighborhood that I grew up in was pretty good. Neighboring neighborhoods, people that I went to school,

there were definitely areas that my mom was like, yeah, you're not allowed to go there. And I definitely still went. And that's where all the hot guys were. Why are all the hot guys in tough neighborhoods? I don't know. Gives them some kind of grit. All the other guys are too soft now.

Too soft. You weren't in a tough neighborhood. You were a hot guy though. Where'd you grow up? No soft now. Too soft. You weren't in a tough neighborhood. I know, I'm too soft now. You were a hot guy though. Where'd you grow up? No, we grew up in San Diego. It's a different thing. I was going to tell you,

growing up in New York is a whole different thing. When we go there now and I see these kids running around on the streets, it blows my mind because I start to think, I'm like,

we just don't have that on the West Coast or even here really. People are just out and about. It was cush compared to growing up in New York. And everything I feel like in New York is like 10 times harder. Like if you want to go to the grocery store, it's a whole mission.

It's not like in the West Coast where we grew up. It was like very like easy and blase. See, it's interesting because I think there's definitely two sides of that. I was actually on the plane coming here talking to a mom who's going to, her kids are grown. And there is an aspect in New York where you're outside and you play in the yard or your block and that's how you grow up. And there's some of that is missing here. I do feel like that's a part of childhood that's missing here. Here, my kid goes to school and then afterwards she's got like tennis and the things

and the things or the play dates. You're not like just hanging on the block necessarily. However, there is a spontaneity, spontaneity that you're, I can never pronounce that word, that you're missing in the West Coast or at least in LA that you have in New York. Because in New York, so at some point in my life, I live like up the block from Nobu on Greenwich. And whoever, twice, three times a week, someone would call and be like, so at some point in my life I live like up the block from Nobu on Greenwich and whoever twice three times a week someone would call and be like yo I'm at Nobu come down let's have some sushi and be like oh gosh I just got upstairs from a job come on come on a couple rolls and like some sake the next thing you know I was like a coffee shop at six in the morning that doesn't happen

here because it's like okay I'm gonna be in silver lake on june 4th third you know i've had my dinners like a month my friend just texted me she's like want to go to dinner i'm like um i can do like well that's because everything's so far away and you have to like plan and i'm like okay so i'm gonna be on that side of town in four weeks so let's get something in and now i'm and now i'm trying to see every single person who lives in Silver Lake. Here's how I think about it. So we live out here in Texas now, which is a whole different thing. And I feel it's much quieter, much more remote.

But when we were in LA, I always felt like even though it is a big city, it never felt like a city to me. Like New York, you feel like a city. Yeah, totally. You could get on, get on the subway, end up who knows where. But in LA, it's like, oh my God, we're in West Hollywood. You're in Manhattan Beach or you're in Silver Lake. You're like, I'm not making the trip.

It's just not going to happen. And so it didn't feel as connected as a city. It just felt like a one big pain in the ass place. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard there too. I mean, they have their challenges each way. So we have a place in New York and we really care about our kids feeling mom's side and dad's side. So my husband grew up in LA and I grew up in New York.

And they need to feel like both those places are their homes. But when it comes to winter, I don't want anything to do in New York City. Like nothing. I want to go there. You've been there in the winter. No, I haven't. No, but Lauren, we stay away January, February. We stay away.

No, no. It's different when you live there. So in 2017, I guess 2017, my husband was directing a film in New York. So it was like perfect timing. We had just got the keys to our new apartment there in New York. My kid was two and he's like so stoked. And I'm like, dude, you have no idea what a winter's like. Like, he's like, I've been going there for 25 years before I know. He's like, I took the sleigh in Central Park.

Oh, gosh. Yeah. I'm like, dude. I went to the Rockefeller lighting of the Christmas tree. Dude, when you have to walk the dog at four in the morning and the, I mean, the wind and the snow and the, it's just, it's bananas. It's not sitting on Santa's lap at Bergdorf. And I remember, exactly.

And I remember like a little girl like walking in my book, like, God, there's got to be something else. This is crazy. This is crazy. And then, you know, I remember like a little girl, like walking in my book, but there's gotta be something else. This is crazy. And then, you know, I didn't want to go to California when I did. I was an actress. I got moved for a TV show. I was like, I'm gonna go do this show and come back.

And then I was like, why would I ever have a full winter ever again? Not necessary. Mental note, don't go live there in January and February. It's hard. Listen, if you love the cold, there's some people who love, like we have friends, they vacation,

they go all the time like to ski and snowboard and all that stuff. Not us. We're like wannabe lizards on a beach. I feel like people that grow up in the cold, my dad grew up in Illinois and he's like, he's done. Done. I've done it.

Just use my ice roller. If you want cold, just use the ice roller ice roller is the best the best so you mentioned that when you started modeling and you said this off air too it's blonde hair blue eyes yeah basically what what is that like were you just like i'm gonna break barriers i don't give a fuck or were you like oh this is this is really hard to be surrounded by all these people that look nothing like me so i think at first i didn't i didn't even really notice i i knew that i knew that i wasn't accepted certain places like okay willamina said like they don't understand what to do with you while they think they're beautiful but like they don't know how to market you right it was the first time i understood that like things and people were marketable, but I didn't know I was 12. Right.

Then Ford introduced this term to me and my, my mom called ambiguous. And I didn't, you know, at 12 didn't understand that. I was like, well, she can be anything depending on how you style her, depending on what you do with her hair, depending on what she's wearing. And that was the idea of like, okay, you can basically code switch, right? What happened was I would go into jobs and they'd ask, you know, well, first of all, I wasn't ever super tall. So first thing I had to figure out, which took me probably a decade was that it was going to be beauty. I had to really, that's the niche before we knew the, you know, use the word niche in our everyday lives. Right. That was it. I needed to niche down because the truth of the matter is it was never going to do a Gucci campaign because it was never going to walk

the runway. That's the way it used to be. You'd have to walk the runway. You'd walk the runway to be potentially like considered for a fashion campaign, a major like designer. Like it was a disqualifier if you weren't a certain height right off the bat. Right off the bat. And I was like in New York City with the heels, changing them, walking in my sneakers

to a casting, then get in the corner of the street, changing my shoes, putting on like seven, seven inch heels and walking in and being like,

I'm seven, five and a half. And I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm five, seven and a half. And I'm like five, six.

So, you know, trying to sound like every man in the universe lying about that inch and a half. Oh course absolutely both ways just give us a just give us the inch and a half if it's if it's a six inch they'll say it's a seven are you saying women don't lie about anything lord we're gonna i'm just saying men do tend to lie about their dick size and their height all the time it's a lie when is the last time you've heard a guy say you have got a little dick i did measure your penis once so i can i can vouch for you we went

all the way down from the asshole up there we did not we gotta get the whole that's the dark side that's what's called the dark side start at the knee and go where was i and then i started to see that oh people wanted to like box you and put you in a place and that really kind of irritated me because i knew i started to understand that like oh well when i wore my hair curly i looked more one way and where i wore my hair straight i looked more like a different way there were times when i had brown contacts or they'd shoot me and they would digitally like retouch my eyes to make them brown oh that's insane um insane right and i was a little girl i mean it's like because you have such unique eyes right it's like why would okay but who know you know who knows what the rhyme or reason was then and then i think as a woman as i've gotten

older i we were talking about this before like Like, I just feel like women are constantly like, like people are constantly trying to put women in these boxes like, oh, she does that, that one thing. And I'm like, well, actually, that's something that I did. And maybe I still do it, but also do like five, six other things. You want to talk about that? No, no, no. We just want to talk about like this one. Okay, cool. But like you're trying to put me in a box or when they're like, oh, we really want you to come on and talk about like age. And I'm like, why? Why? Why is it? Why? Why is age so important? I don't want to talk about age. Why? Because so then you can tell me I'm too young for something or I'm too old for something because I always looked really young and it was always like, okay, go out there. And like, they think you're this. No, like just tell me what the character is. Tell me. And I've got

it, but I don't want to talk about like how old a woman is and why she's too young or too old to do something because it's about experience. It's about what you've been through. You can be 22 and had a crazy life and have some real experience. You're not going to know everything, of course, but there's still experience to pull from. And so I think now, especially in, you know, it's gotten better, but in beauty, I'm starting to see it again. They're like, well, how does she feel about talking about like, and I'm like, yeah, no, I don't, I don't want to be put in a box. It's so weird that you're talking about this because I was telling you off air,

I'm launching a merch collection called Obnoxious. And I called it obnoxious because I think that people, like they think that you can't simultaneously love pink and have implants and have blonde hair and love self-care, but also be a fucking boss in the boardroom and be well-read and be driven and ambitious and be an incredibleread and be driven and ambitious and be an incredible

wife and partner. Like we have to like have these conversations because it's okay to be multifaceted. And I actually think it's way more interesting to not fit in the box. And to your point, they do it more to women. I see it with my wife. Like, you know, if I say I have a nanny, nobody says anything to me to me right it's not even a thing they don't even ask him if she says it it's a whole like we work the same no i know i know absolutely it's only us and by the way this is this is exactly why i launched made because i was going in and i was talking to these you know the first people who kind of approached me in the digital space were like kind of YouTube execs sort of. Right. And I was like, well, yeah, I make my kids baby food. And yeah, I'm really into wellness and, you know, gut health and clean beauty and sustainability.

But like I still wear red lipstick, YSL, like, you know, jeans and black leather outfit. Like I can be your hot chicken, still make almond milk fresh. I don't need to be like in a flowy dress on the top of Topanga, like chanting all the time. And also like you can want to know what's in your kid's toothpaste and be holistic about it. And granola. Yeah. And I'm like, crunchy is no longer like looks like what you expect. Like let's. And this was gosh, this was 20, 2017, 2018 when I launched the platform. And I was like, let's like change

this conversation. And that's really what it was. I became a mom. I started to look into things in a different way for my kid. And I was like, no, I don't see anybody like me. I don't identify with any of the visuals or the people or the influencers that I see on social media or in websites or blogs. I was like, I do those things, but I'm not like in a floral dress, barefoot, just only meditating all day. That's not that's just one version of it. It's very parallel, though, to your modeling days. Yes. It's it's makes sense to me that you would have this epiphany later on in life about something else, because it sounds like you had the epiphany when you were 12, but you didn't know how to articulate it or communicate it. And now you're older and you

can look back and you have the foresight and you can see, oh, this is what they're trying to do to me. Yeah. So first, before you get in to your kids and your home birth and your career, I want to just know before then when you decided to to go act in L.A., what were you working on? And then I would love to know why you decided to move on from acting. So initially, I moved from New York to L.A. with a soap opera called All My Children. What's that? That's only like the biggest soap opera there is, right? Wait, hold on. 42 years on air, 41 of those years were in New York. So when they left New York was a huge deal. And also just if you're unfamiliar with soap operas, I know you know that one, but

people like I have a friend that has watched every single episode of all my children for the last like whatever it is. It's it's interesting because for me, I always look at it like the first version of social media because you know how those stories work stories. So, OK, so I got my role. I played a prostitute with a heart of gold. Multifaceted. There we go. Right. I played a prostitute who with a heart of gold. Multifaceted bitches.

There we go. Right? On all my children. And everything's about fan letters. So the more fan letters you get, the more the writers write for you. So it's kind of like. Oh, they count them.

The networks count them. Oh, because they come into the studio or they come in. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. And you have fan events. And it's kind of like you're. It was the beginning of like, for me, followers. Because when Twitter launched,

I was the one in ABC going, guys, everybody get on Twitter. Because this is gonna, this is what, I didn't understand what social media was, but I was like, this is what's gonna happen. Because people are starting, I was the first one. So it was like, soap opera fans are following me. Like, as soon as you know it,

this is gonna be how they quantify how much they write for us, how much that every episode they write for you, the more you get paid. The other day we had someone working on our house and they walked in and they said, what does Los Angeles smell like? And I said, well, take a whiff because it smells like delicious bougie-ness because I have my homesick candles going in the house. These candles are all over Instagram. Homesick is a home fragrance and lifestyle brand with one simple goal, to bring joy to your home with scents that bring you closer to the people, places, and moments that matter most. So we have the Los Angeles candle in our house burning right now. These candles are absolutely amazing because they're not overpowering and they're also made from natural soy wax. I really like a soy wax candle. That's

always important to me when I'm buying my candles. They also have premium cotton wicks and custom fragrance oils. So a lot of these wicks are actually like giving off a bunch of chemicals, which is super nasty. And I'm very much about a candle company that has of these wicks are actually like giving off a bunch of chemicals, which is super nasty. And I'm very much about a candle company that has premium cotton wicks. They have one called Beach Cottage. It smells delicious. I have to tell you though, my personal favorite is Los Angeles. It smells delicious. And it kind of reminds me of when we lived in Los Angeles. It brings a little Los Angeles-ness to Austin, which I love. Each of their candles on their site really capture the

scent of the place and the memory it represents. They even have a New York one that's one of their best sellers. It has notes of Central Park and department stores. Absolutely amazing. Makes an incredible gift, and you can even add personalization. You should also know that there's a 60 to 80-hour burn time, which we love. You can use code SKINNY for 20% off all orders of $75 or more at homestick.com slash skinny. That's homestick.com slash skinny. Use code skinny for 20% off. I have to ask this. Is the prostitute with the heart of gold getting letters from jail with like guys semen in it? No, no, there was no semen. Thank God. The guys from jail with like guys semen in it no no there was no semen thank god well that's no the guys from jail get excited i have to say i i there are were guys from jail yeah but because they're

watching the soap opera but there but there was there was no semen thankfully so get creative actually you have a dirty mind actually i'm really surprised there were no dick pics at all and i i honestly keep a pretty clean dm now. I don't get those anymore. You know what I say, right? So when I was on TV, everyone, you know, my community was like 50-50, right? So 50% men, 50% women. And they're like, they hung around for like the boyfriends. They hung around when I got engaged.

They hung around when I got married. They even hung around when I got pregnant. But as soon as I started talking about like how to heal cracked nipples, they were out. And then all of a sudden, my audience went from like no men to all women. I keep a clean, pretty clean DM track as well. Like there's no there's no slip ups there either. Yeah. So I came with all my children. I was kicking and screaming. I was like, I can't go live in LA. Like I'm so New York.

And my manager at the time said, all my children's gonna pay. ABC is gonna pay for you to move. And soap operas pay well, right? Yeah. But they're gonna move you. They're gonna pay for your move. They're gonna pay for your first three rents.

They're gonna give you a chunk of money in the beginning to move your life there. And not everybody received that offer from, you know, this show. Are you and he knew like he knew my heart so well because he'd been with me forever. He goes, you know, there's like some girl in middle America who's like, if I wait enough tables and I save a thousand dollars, I can go to L.A LA and go to Hollywood and be an actress. And he, and, and he totally, I was like, damn, I can't do that. There's some, I can't blow this opportunity. So lo and behold, moved myself to LA. And then every time I had like a Thursday, Friday attached to a weekend, I was out.

I was back in New York. I was in the clubs. I was like partying with my friends. I was back flying New York. I was in the clubs. I was like partying with my friends. I was back flying back and forth. And then after about a year, I started to find my place, my people, where I got, you know, where I did yoga, where I got my juices. I started to find my little vibe and community there. And it started to settle down a little bit. And then that was supposed to be my Samantha summer. Where you fucked whoever you wanted. Yes, because. I didn't have a real Samantha summer. I didn't get it. I met

my husband. He totally screwed it up. You screwed mine up too. Samantha from Sex in the City fucks whoever she wants and doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks. I didn't get a Samantha. I didn't get it. I had a Samantha summer, but like. Yeah, I'm sure. You had like six years. You guys were living Samantha

summers your whole life. that was the whole thing and I had been like relationship after relationship and I'm gonna start calling it now or I'd have a break but I I'd never

I was never just frivolous with sex like just enjoying sex for what it was and I was like fuck this I just got out of this crazy relationship

and I was like this is gonna be my Samantha Summer we're just I'm just gonna go out like I was telling my summer we're just I'm just going to go out like I was telling my girlfriends we're just going to go out and party hard

and like travel and when we're not working be weekends places and just like fuck it fuck safely but have fun

and then literally like three weeks later I met my husband how'd you meet him? casting he's a director he's a director oh scandalous

scandalous I asked him out though oh yes wait yeah so is he a director for all my children no oh no no no no no my husband is actually pretty good at what he does he directs commercials and film and he's done a lot of you know a lot of videos that he did because he came up from the music video era. Give us one that we're like, oh my God. I don't know.

17 Rihanna videos, Killers, Lana Del Rey. He's done everybody. Beyonce, Jay-Z, Run This Town, Kanye,

Eminem, you name it, he's done it. Who? Who? Or let's see. Did you ever see the apple commercial where Taylor Swift falls on the treadmill yes okay he's done he wrote and produced into that so he's yeah so and he's hot so I was he for that job I was actually stripper prostitute stripper Samantha

Summer Samantha Summer pole i did pole dancing for like two years best workout ever by the way you ever do it do you want to try it on the diva right now no i don't think i can't hold me i can't hold me what am i gonna do you ever do you ever try it no do i need to try it after the baby i mean i can get down on a strip pole i think no no i'm talking i'm talking about like flips and twirls and like, like vagina up and down the thing. Like, I mean,

I feel like I could fuck with the pole. Like I'm, I know. Yeah. I'm like, like spins at the top. And like, yeah,

like, yeah, you can. It's like, by the way, it's the most incredible workout. I did it for two years and I had abs of steel. Okay.

Well, why don't you teach me how to do that next time? I'm visiting, visiting your area. way it's the most incredible workout i did it for two years and i had abs of steel okay well why don't you teach me how to do that next time i'm visiting visiting your area yeah will you come okay come to my house we've got i've got well it's been in it's been in hiding but now we're moving to a new house where i'm like okay so the pole's coming back because we got more space in the bedroom did they make it in wood with like a light white tone listen you don't want splinters no that's true and you don't want it

in the bedroom it's not for him it's for you oh what's not for him so sorry you can come in like on your birthday

or you know you know what but it's for you I'd like a stripper it's for you and there is such a freedom and like

feeling yourself dancing to just think about how you feel when no one's watching and you're dancing to like that sexy song and kind of letting that happening right now. So what I think it's going to happen is after I get this baby weight off, it's over for everyone. I'm getting a fucking strip pole in my room. Let's do it. It's not for you. It's for me. It's for you.

OK, so are you sliding down the strip pole? So now I meet my husband. I'm like, he walks in late for our meeting. And I look at him and I go, oh my God, like that's my future ex-husband, which is a joke because I'm never getting married. Like never. The day I got married, we were literally walking down the aisle. My six girlfriends turned around and were like, oh my God, you're really doing it.

I was like, I know. I've been planning for a year and a half. Let's go. Future ex-husband, I'm into that. Yeah. So I'm like, that's my future ex-husband. And actually he turned, when I walked away,

he said that he talked to, turned around to Jonas, who's one of his best friends at the time and worked with him and was like, I can tell my mom is telling me to pay attention to her. And it was like, right away. And then's telling me to pay attention to her. And it was like right away. And then I got really nervous and broke up with him.

And so it was like, I broke, but we did the job. So we did the job. He had no idea how good on the pole I was. You're fucking good on the pole. Can you do an Instagram story on this? I gotta get it up again. He had no idea how good I was. I think that definitely helped. And, you know, he was into tattoos and motorcycles. And I was like, cool, as long as it's like not a date.

And he was like, okay, it's like not a date. It's like a non-date date. So we go out and actually I meet him at his house, which is in Venice where we currently live, we're moving. But he owned this piece of land before we were together. And he goes, do you want to see, like we're on bicycles going to like Tasting Kitchen for drinks. And he's like, do you want to show you something cool?

And I'm like, what? And he's like, do you want to show you something cool? And I'm like, what? And he's like, oh, this property behind like this like gate. And I'm like, well, we got to go get drinks. Why? And he's like, you never know. Like you might live here one day. And I was like, dude, I'm not fucking around the first night. Like it's not happening.

Relax. That's where we ended up living, having kids, building a house. Like our life was like right away. So he had already bought the property. He owned. Yeah, he owned the land. And there was nothing on it. There was the old structures.

Yeah, he was still dealing with the legality of getting people out. Like he bought the land and there were still people staying and stuff like that. You guys need a strip pole when you walk into your house as a homage to how you met.

This is an essential. Why didn't you build the strip pole? Get him on that right now. So we built our house out of hand poured lath and plaster. It's a whole nother. It's a designer conversation. There's no drywall. What does that mean?

There's no drywall. But what? I don't get what that means. I have to show you the house. It's like my house looks like I don't know. You're like you're in Italy. Like there's it's all like it's like a looks like concrete, but it's not. It's like a better version of concrete. And there's no drywall. You're going to have to show me that. Yeah, I have to show you. My friend

Weston Mitchell might have an orgasm over that. He sounds like something he would love. OK. It sounds super interesting. Yeah. So we love design. Can we get Italian strip pole? Yeah. And the new house. Yeah. Definitely. So as you guys started growing your careers, you decide that you don't want to act anymore. How does that work? So we met,

you know, we're like, you know, and then I booked a television, then I booked a television show out in Atlanta called Single Ladies.

I was like, listen, I got to go do this TV show. I'm going to be living in Atlanta for six months out of the year. I did that. And if you want to like still be with me, you've got to like come every weekend. And that's the only way this is going to work. And he did. I did that for two years. And after the first year he proposed, we went to Greece. He proposed. He asked my

grandfather for my hand in marriage, really, really romantic and old school like we are. And then I went back out for another season. And when I came back, we were moving into the house that we had just built, the one I was telling about. And I was pregnant. And it was a perfect reason to leave that show because it was very chaotic over there and the energy. Like I came into the show like, oh my God, this is going to be so cool. The show was about, it was like a sex in the city type show. And I was the Carrie Bradshaw character. So fashion. How long did you do this? I did it for two years. Okay. So like, you know, vintage Chanel and Louboutins.

And I was making out with guys every other day, new actors coming in. And my character was always in love and in a sex scene all the time. And that's when I really didn't, this was just about the time, like my idea on health and wellness was really starting to change because I was like exercising to be like skinny and fit on TV. And that was my idea of like, oh, I'm into health and wellness. Then the next year I got pregnant and I was like, okay,

the things on like the, what was happening on the show, the interpersonal stuff was just not working out. It was not like, hey, we're best friends and we do this show. It was too crazy. And I left. I didn't know I was going to stop acting. I was going to have this baby and go right back on set until I had the baby and was like, so who takes care of the baby?

I wondered that too. I was like, wait, what happens? Right? like no one's like i don't know no one came to me and said are you are you had no plan either you don't remember that we had no plan like there was zero like we i mean we did have a night nurse but after that i had a doula and then i was like what do you do and then what happens and all my family lived in new york and always lived like I grew up. My mom had me, but my grandmother was around. My aunts were around and like everyone kind of helped out. I had this baby and Anthony half being as fully full full stay-at-home mom In that process. I was talking about My journey and how I understood that health and wellness was not about being in the gym And not about how many hours you could crush it. It was about rest. It was about taking time for yourself. It was about

giving yourself being kind to yourself and and giving yourself a break and just like listening to your body. And I really understood that like it wasn't go hard or go home. It was go home and rest your ass. You forgot something. What? Your husband delivered your baby in your home. Oh, yeah. That's a big. No, I'm going to say it right now. I'm not equipped, Lauren. I'm not equipped. Hold on. We got you. We can walk you through this. That's a big... No, I'm going to say it right now. I'm not equipped, Lauren. I'm not equipped. Hold on. We got you.

We can walk you through this. Yeah, let's walk him through it. First of all, did you know that you wanted to have a home birth? Yes. Yes. We were having a home birth from the very beginning. Okay. So he was like on board and he knew it was coming.

Yes. Yeah. And what are we doing with the plaster in the house? Are we making sure nothing's touching it? Because that's giving me anxiety even thinking about it. That was honestly giving him a little anxiety in the beginning too but the midwives were like it's all good we come in we like plastic bag things and i have um in this house a roman bathtub so you know the bathtub is like deep in the floor i'd love a roman bathtub if you're

wondering my birthday's coming up go ahead let's do's do it. Yeah, go ahead. So I labored in there. But hold on. Your water breaks. No, my water didn't break. So you just went into labor. Yeah, I was 12 days past due with both kids. Wait, wait. So this is what I don't get. Yeah. You're 12 days past due and all of a sudden you start laboring. Why didn't the midwives get there in time so good question that's why the first midwives didn't deliver the second baby yeah because they were far they should have been like at the door they were far so we're in venice they were in eagle rock but they were who i chose and and who came heavily like you know recommended and there was no you know first baby everyone tells you it takes time. You're going to labor. How many hours of labor were you in? Like a hundred. I don't like a long time, like a long

time. I two hours front to back. Wait. So, so you, so nobody started having contractions. So it was 12 days overdue. Okay. Okay. And then I was like, Oh, Hmm. That feels funny. And my dog was the real key. I looked over to my Weimaraner at the time and he was like, oh, that feels funny. And my dog was the real key. I looked over to my Weimaraner at the time and he was like doing backflips. And I was like, oh, I think this baby's coming because he's acting so weird. And I'm like, let me try and lay down.

So Anthony's like, yeah, just try and lay down on your side. I'll be right here. And the next thing you know, I was like, whoa, nope, nope, nope. In the shower. And I was in the shower and then I was in the tub and then I was on the bed. And you're calling the midwives. We tried in the bed.

We called the midwives. Midwives are on their way their way my mom is there my doula is there i'm like i can't do this we gotta go to the hospital and my mom being exactly going back to who she was before i was like no no no all in the beginning she was thought i was crazy like you're gonna have a home birth that's you can't do that i'm like yeah no people do that it's if your baby's fine if you're fine you can do it it's legal and safe like okay and then watch me like do everything for that whole 10 months whatever it is right meditation sound healing yoga three times a week pilates four times a week soul cycle i soul cycled all the way till i was like 40 weeks pregnant that's a lot of pressure on the bus i was like this baby i think that that's why she came out so fast to be honest with you because i was like literally in angela's like anyone who's soul cycled in la knows angela's like 90 minute classes hardcore and i was like tapping back all

the way till she came out and um i was like mom i, I looked, I was like, I don't know. I don't think I could do this. I think I got to go in for the thing. What's the thing that give, you know, the shot. And my mom was like, no, no, no. Yeah, but I was telling her like, what's the thing? What's the thing? And she's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You wanted this. You've been working for this. You're going to do this. And I was like, shit. I don't know. My mom's not even on my, like, I got it. I like went in the shower, like took some woosah breaths and then i went in the bathtub and then you get the feeling you're like oh i think i'd use bathroom right that's exactly how it feels oh yeah it feels like you

have to use the bathroom i'm like but like like you like have to go right right now so but a bowling ball's coming so i So I get out. Right. And I'm like, OK. And everyone's trying to, like, take me to the bathroom. But, like, I think that I'm going to, like, poop. So I'm like, dude. In the Roman bathtub? You're going to be anxiety.

No, no, no, no, no. In the toilet, girl. In the toilet. So I get out of the bathtub. Follow along. So I get out of the bathtub. I go. I walk over to the water closet.

And I'm like, no, I'm OK. I can do this on my own. Close the door so that, you know, my doula is like, do you want me to help? i'm okay i can do this on my own close the door so that you know my doula's like do you want me to help you no no i got this close the door and then like you know you go to like sit down on the on the toilet right and right before i touch the seat the baby's head goes shut the fuck up so like i grab my vagina and i'm like the baby's coming the baby's coming like running baby's coming. I'm like running around the bathroom. And I like look at the floor and I just lay.

My husband was like, you just lay down. And then you were just on the other side. For many of you, you know, I have been on an extreme health journey this last year. Did about 165 days sober. Have really been taking my health seriously. Eating right. Doing peptides. Doing NAD.

Getting my blood work. All of this stuff. Getting IVs all the time. Just really upping the way that I take care of myself, especially after having our second child. With that, many questions coming in. You know, we've talked about stool samples and blood samples and all of this stuff. What do you do?

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And it's the ultimate platform to figure out what you need to do to optimize your health. Enjoy. So you go to sit down on the toilet to take a shit. So you think you're crowning Ring of Fire. Boom. You're not Ring of Fire yet. She just kind of slipped out because you don't know what Ring of Fire is until you're crowning ring of fire boom not ring of fire yet she just kind of slipped out because you don't know

what ring of fire is until you're at ring of fire by the way so did you even have pain with your labor because it's so quick no I felt like I was hit by a mack drop

okay so it really hurt but then your husband tells you to lay on the ground no he said I just like I looked over I was like

I came out I was like holding myself out i was like holding myself and i was like the baby's kid the baby's coming the baby's coming freaking out and i like kind of looked around the bathroom and the next thing you know he's like you just laid on the floor and we're like two two three pushes and boom it is primal though that you just went into straight he was like you're on the other side he's like i've never i've never seen you so clear and i've never been so much in love with you and so fucking frightened of you's like i've never i've never seen you so clear and i've never been so much in love with you and so fucking frightened of you at the same time as i was in those moments

so who catches the baby so he caught the baby so while this is like i'm laying on so while i'm laying on the floor he's walking around with a camera because you know my husband's photographer too so he's like walking around he's like wait no totally oh my god totally he's worried about the light that you you know him okay so he's like so gosh i don't remember her name but the midwife's on the phone and i'm like okay give me the phone she's like hi babe don't worry i'm right here i'm like okay great mom go to open the door she's right here and she's like well i'm on lincoln there's a little bit of traffic and like chuck the cell phone across the way and it was

on. And thankfully, so my husband went through several classes with me the first pregnancy. You know, you've done them, right? No, he didn't. He didn't do them. No, you sat with Andre. He sat with my doula. I did. I went to doula. You forget. I did all this stuff for the first. This time I have it because I already been through it. No, no, we've already been through it. I don't love that you're not a director that doesn't tell me where the light is, though. But go on. Yeah, well, I have other... There's other things, right? Yeah, I don't know. We just...

So Lennox was born in call. She came out in her amniotic sac. What does that mean? Do you know how they're in the bubble of water? Yeah. She came out in the bubble of water. In the bubble of water. Hold on, hold on.

Do they... I don't know much about that. What are you going to do? Are you going to pop it? Typically... Yeah, how does that normally come out? Typically, if you're in the bubble of water. Hold on. Hold on. Do they? I don't know much. You got to pop it. Typically. Yeah. How does that normally. Typically, if you're in the hospital, they'll handle it.

Some babies pop on their own. Lennox popped on her own. She went like this. And her eyes were bright blue. Open eyes was not crying and just went here. And like she's like she's to this day. She's like a movie. Like she's not because she's my kid's to this day she's like a movie like

she's not because she's my kid she came from somewhere else i can not take any credit for who she is she sounds like a crystal child she she's inquirious like she's just like yeah it's just like they are i mean the stuff that she says to me is mind-blowing and she's been like this since birth like that's why i named her lennox like she came out with her two fists up in the air and was looking at me when's her birthday two two two my husband put her on my chest and she went right she crawled like the movie shows like that was not my son at all my son was the opposite but also born at home so when we went to have my my son four years later i guess guess, new team, and everybody was really sensitive to what happened the first go around.

I didn't realize until we started interviewing midwives and doulas for Dries, my son, how affected my husband was with the first. Like I just, for we'd been, we'd been telling the story. He is post- for we'd been we'd been telling the story he is post-traumatic we've been telling the story is a joke it's super fun like people love to hear the story it's great and no he's been the whole time i don't i don't maybe he didn't even know but then all of a sudden we're like sitting in um do you know erica chidi no but that sounds erica chidi she's she's i don't know if you've guys ever. So she was my, so she was my doula with Dries.

And she, after our meeting, our first meeting, because he was meeting her for the first time and I know her, she goes, you know,

there's some like, he was, he's, he's a little bit traumatized by it. Well, he's used to directing Taylor Swift coming

off the treadmill, not a baby coming out. Not necessarily from like, because he's not like squirmish or there would have been no there would have like I could have not told my husband to sit back behind me

you can't see anything that's not who he is he's in there but the fact of like and I was like really I don't think so she's like imagine he must have been nervous

it was all on him like this is still it's a lot he has no idea what he's doing no idea what he's doing like you feel like you know what you're doing because you're also

you're also like from hormones and physical like you're going through this physical motion that makes you like a beast like it's very this way right but like so your mind and your body are talking to each other but he's like he's walking around every day like oh my god i'm not gonna deliver this baby i wasn't prepared to do right but thankfully dr berlin had us do like love you know berlin yes he's been on this podcast twice i think oh my god i love him love him love him love him he's been through both bursts with me and he didn't make it in for lennox's because he waited out he waited outside for like two hours he's like they must be having the baby because no one's answered the phone or the door he would have helped too and he well with drees he wasn't with when drees was born he was

total um giving me massage the whole time he's amazing he's amazing the second so lennox was two hours front to back and drees was 54 minutes and my water broke and your water how did the midwife get to your house in 56 minutes she was there right away so she so what happened was erica had her her business partner, lived in Venice. And so the last couple of weeks, because I was, again, 12 days past. Exactly both of them, 12 days past. Please don't tell me that right now. No, you want to.

Were you past two at your first? Yeah. How many? Two weeks. Oh, yeah. Don't tell me that. I'm so sorry. The second one you were to.

The second one you were to. Exactly 12 days, the both of them. But that's the thing. No one can expect too exactly 12 days the both of them and I no one but that's the thing like no one can expect that but half the time you know what I told Michael this morning

being a few weeks out is like someone telling you hey you have the stomach flu today but it's gonna go away

in three weeks and you're gonna vomit and shit your pants and have a fever but it's only three weeks yeah no and you're like yeah vomit and shit your pants and have a fever, but it's only three weeks. Yeah. And you're like, yeah, no, that feels like forever. It feels like forever. It's forever. The end is forever. I get it. I know. Oh my God. And you're telling me you went over 12 days with the second one. Okay. So the second one, was it more seamless? The second one

was everything was just faster. I was shocked because I didn't know what a water break was and like what it felt like and you know when they're like It's not like the movies. It was like the movies I don't know what my life everywhere. Yeah, so I laid down I was like laying down and but I was like I better like get like prep a instagram post for it was like no totally because it was maids one year anniversary My son was born on my business's one year anniversary Got it. So I was like, in case he comes in the next couple of days, I'll just have it up. Like, yeah, I was like sitting there coloring my, you know, making my cohesive. That's when we really cared

about our cohesive feeds. And my husband's like passed out snoring. And then all of a sudden, just like boom, boom. And I was like, what was that? Like, what was that sound? What was that feeling? And the next thing you know, we're in a waterbed. And so I wake up and I'm like, what was that? Like, what was that sound? What was that feeling? And the next thing you know, we're in a waterbed. And so I wake up my husband. I'm like, hey, hey, I think my water broke. And he's like, okay. And I'm like, no, no, no, get up. Get up.

Like my water broke. It's a lot of water. It's going everywhere in the bed. Like, and we have like a suede, like a velvet, excuse me, a velvet, crushed velvet. She's anxiety right now. So my anxiety. This house, I'm like, what? velvet excuse me a velt crushed velvet she's anxiety right now so it's anxiety i'm like what is the house okay blue crushed velvet okay he gets up and like college is like you know you just put the towel down he's like it's okay we just put a towel down and i'm like i flick on the light i'm like dude and there's water everywhere he's like holy shit

yeah this isn't like it has come. This isn't like we can just wipe it up and pretend like there's no mess. It's not like, oh, it's okay. You've got your period. It's okay. We just put a little towel down. No, it's not like that at all. And so Erica had been staying in Venice

at her business partner's place, thankfully so. And so she was at my house within three minutes and everybody was really prepped to come fast because my first was so fast. You don't say. I think that you were probably like, everyone, it's time now. Your husband was probably like, I got to go get a candy bar. I'm not doing this one again. So is your first going to be part of, is Zaza going to be part of this?

I didn't even think about that until you just said that. Really? I don't know that you're allowed to have more than one person at the hospital right now. Is it because of COVID still? Yeah. Even here? There's COVID here? It's Texas. There's no COVID here. COVID who? I don't know if

if. Well we're in a different. I don't know how zaza would respond if she saw me giving birth i can't think of that are you really like are you really 40 so far right now yeah no no no no i'm 38 no i'm 36 i'm 36 i think i i'm 36 right now i think i'm gonna deliver at 38 you that's what you go ahead girl go ahead put it out in the universe manifest that shit manifest it i'm 36 weeks right now and i think i'm gonna deliver at 30 you could have time if you wanted to start thinking about including her so what i did was i first showed lennox how old is she again but how old was lennox three three oh three she's two three three and a half so i first started showing her videos of animals giving birth

it didn't scare her no it's natural natural yeah right and then after like i don't know 10 videos of animals giving birth then i showed her videos of women giving birth like easy showing her that there's gonna be screaming and there's gonna be blood and she was fine and she was like asking a lot of questions and and then i said so when it's time well it could happen at night lennox happened during the day so it could happen at any time you can be part of it or you cannot be part of it it's totally up to you we will ask you and you will decide at the moment and she was i gotta be there i gotta be there i gotta be there i could be there so now it's one something in the morning and i can feel like i have oh i was like oh i gotta use the bathroom that baby's here already and i'm like mom go wake up lennox and she's like are you

sure i was like she'll kill me if you don't wake her up she wakes lennox is in it she cut the umbilical cord with anthony at three three and. That is amazing. She cut the umbilical cord? With her dad, yeah. That's cool. She was like, why is this baby so white? Because he's like all the vernix. By the way, Dries had so much vernix on him. I was literally like this.

What is vernix? Why don't I know? Is that good for you? It's the white stuff. Wait, do I need to put that on my face? Yes, and don't wash the baby. Can you put that in your products? It's the stuff. It's the white stuff. Wait, do I need to put that on my face? Yes, and don't wash the baby. Wait, can you put that in your products? Zaza had that. A vernix serum? You take the vernix.

It's like literally like off his butt, like putting it on my eyes. I'm going to take it. How did I not know that? Zaza had it. But we didn't give her a bath after, so that's what you want to sink in. And that's why,

because that's really good for the skin. I'll give you some facial massage with vernix. Yeah, I just like pull out the- I need some help. Pull out the gua sha. You look great. What do you mean? No, he looks so good. Listen, nobody... I could use a little Vernix, though. Don't be, you know, stingy. Okay, so take the Vernix. Hopefully I'm saying it right, but you know what it meant.

The white stuff. Everyone's screaming at their mics right now, yelling at you. I know, I know, I know. Everyone's going to be in my DMs. Just like side note, I can't believe that your three and a half year old was like it was almost natural for her to see a birth, it sounds like. For whatever reason, I don't know what happened. Maybe we just got super interested in it

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Then start your search for a top rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash skinny. ZocDoc.com slash skinny. But it is very natural for them to say birth because before we had hospitals, before we, and thank God for hospitals and thank God for hospital births and they're necessary and they're great. And listen, everybody like I'm a firm believer in your body, your choice, what you want to do, how you want to do it. We all have choices, how you want to eat. There's no one stop shop. Like, you know, I was vegan for six years. My kids, while my daughter eats meat now after being vegan for six years, her decision, we taught her how to like, listen her body and say hey you're going to try something how does it feel this makes me feel

great cool so it sounds like you're really good at communicating with your kids yeah because they're you know they're just little people they're not like any lessons yes you have to communicate with them in a way that they can comprehend at their age level but i don't shy away from it doesn't mean i tell her inappropriate things but we don't shy away from it doesn't mean I tell her inappropriate things, but we don't shy away. We talk about why people are protesting. We talk about racism and sexism and what's happening in the world right now. And she goes to a school that teaches them about identity and that some women, you know, some women identify as male, some males like we are super open to her because we want her to be, have every, all the tools that are necessary to go out in the world and succeed. And I think that,

you know, when you put people in a box, if you're not exposed to everything, then you don't know how to maybe understand it. Or maybe you have a trouble, you have to kind of sit back and figure out how to understand it. Or you have to do work that you're doing later in life that you could have just been always kind of just carried with you. Like we just try and expose her to everything. We try and my son as well. And we just really just root in our kids

that everything is about like love, understanding, things that are natural, like things that happen in this world or are part of life. And some things are gonna like jar you And some things are going to like jar you and some things are going to be scary. But remember, like mom and dad are always here and you always have a choice. You can be part of something

just kind of like my mom did. Like when I say like, I always came close, almost, almost like I touched the fire, but then I was like, I have a choice. I don't have to go all the way in. I don't have to go in that trouble, that like scenario, that, that scenario looks like too much trouble. I'm going to see you guys later. And I can, I have the choice. I can turn around and walk away. It's interesting. You bring up these, like, as you were talking about,

like exposing children to just all different walks of life and different experiences in life early on is so important. I was, you know, I grew up and my aunt was a lesbian, right? She, and she had, I remember going to her wedding when I was, you know, I grew up and my aunt was a lesbian, right? She, and she had, I remember going to her wedding when I was like five or six years old. I think what that experience did to me is for me, it was so natural. It was so normal that I never, it was never a strange thing to me. And I'm grateful for that experience because, you know, you go through life and you, you, you watch maybe some other people that hadn't been exposed to those things, especially then. Right. And it was like this unnormal, unnatural thing to them. And it's not even necessarily a fault of their own.

It's just like their parents. They weren't exposed. Yeah. And it also makes them feel uncomfortable or it makes them like that person feel like, well, I don't know how to react. I don't know how to say, what to say, when to say. And it's like, if you had been exposed and had, you know, positive experiences around you, then it would, you wouldn't even be questioning how to act. There would be nothing.

It would just be, this is, this is life. And this is how we, you know, really want our kids to be in everything that they do. So we, I mean, my kids come almost everywhere with me. Dries literally like last night, I was like, so mommy's going away for work. And he's hasn't seen that, especially because COVID, right? And he's like, well, why can't I come? And I was like, oh, but mommy's going to get a plane. But we go on planes because we always travel together. Like it's very rare that my kids are not with me. We just kind of expose them to everything. I love that. I love bringing the brain. It's like you're coming into our world. Yeah. We're not like all of a sudden everybody's tiptoeing. You have the parents who are like, shh, baby's sleeping.

Well, if you shh when the baby sleeps, guess what? You're going to be shushing forever. No, we're not shushing when the baby sleeps. The baby needs to sleep amongst the chaos, amongst the noise, amongst where the baby gets used to it. And the baby's been doing that its whole time in gestation. Which is to your point, at some point in life, these kids are going to get exposed

to the realities of the world. And if they're not equipped to deal with it and they think it's some unnatural thing, then it creates a real challenge for them in the future. I mean, I think it's why you see some of these. It's honestly a lot of the issues we have in the world

is based on ignorance, right? Absolutely. And not stupidity, but ignorance. People just don't know because they're not exposed and haven't educated themselves. I also think too, what that creates is a nonjudgmental environment, which is so,

I think it's one of the best tools you can have as you get older, is to come from a space of non-judgment and understand everyone's had unique experiences. Very hard to do. Yes, it's very hard to do. Sounds like you're doing a great job though. What are some wellness things that you do with your children that you could give us a couple tools in your toolbox? I think that you're like you're so amazing in the wellness space. Like what are like little things like it could be like toothpaste that you use or a snack that you go to? Well, I think everything, like you said before, revolves around conversation and choice. And so what I've learned as a parent is the more, it's kind of like when you're like dealing with your partner, like the more choice you think they're getting, the better the win is, right? So allowing our kids to understand why we do things and what their choices are. So food, for example, so both of the kids were raised, uh, no meat, no dairy, no gluten, obviously no processed sugars for the first. I think Dries just had

Dries just had ice cream, uh, vegan ice cream for the first time. So you just had white sugar. So much work. How did you do that? How did you do that? You know what? It wasn't work. Cause that's how we live. That's how we are at so like what is it what are the foods that you're reaching for with that it's a toddler it's not exactly about like changing anything at home if you are living that that you can't see my thing is like i can't go and say well i'm only gonna have like i'm gonna have that vegan dish with a side of salad and like a green juice and then turn around and feed my kid like i don't know ocean spray or whatever i like i shouldn't say but like and and like you know feed your lifestyle feed my kid some some fast food restaurant chain like that that doesn't work right so i try to explain to our kids like from the very beginning we eat a certain way this This is like what makes the body feel good.

And I explained to Lennox that like, because she can really understand and she's made choices on her own now. As an adult, we try and get back to that feeling of being clean. How many, whatever you want to call them, diet, cleanses, detoxes, whatever, have we done in our life to try and get back to that feeling

of being clean? I'm going to take out gluten. I'm going to take out dairy. I'm going to like concern myself with, I'm only focusing on gut health. I'm going to be keto. All those things we do because we're like, gosh, when we do those things, we feel like super enlightened and present. And I want my kids to start that way so that they're not going back. They're making the choice on their own. So what are some like specific snacks and stuff that you could like for me? I'm busy like toddler. What are some specifics? So we do like a lot of cut fruit that your kid can just go in and grab on their own, especially now like you're starting to get at the age three, four, five, like they start to go in and like you have things pre-cut in little glass containers. A lot

of fermented foods. Kids love like pickles, a few olives, you know, you want to keep the salt down, but like my daughter loves purple cabbage, sauerkraut. Those are great foods for the gut. What else? We do cookies that are made from like gluten-free oatmeal. My son loves gluten-free oatmeal with like strawberries on top. It's like, they only know what you give them. So if you give them Oreos, and I'm not saying your kid should never, ever have an Oreo. It's just, your kid shouldn't have Oreos every single day. Cause why? What, what, what's the benefit of it? It not you know what gets them what juice juice i know but you but i do green juices my kids love green juices but i just do apple

right so it's sweet you put whatever greens in there some mango and apple and they're super happy like my kid loves green juice both of them green juice coconut. If we're at a birthday party, they'll have like, if we're in a like a spot, like in a moment where someone's having a tantrum or we're at a gas station and you get one of those like green, I can't remember like the applesauce. Like that's great. That's not the, those moments are going to happen, but it's all about what you have in your refrigerator at home. So they're going to eat what they see. And that's pretty much it. Looks like we're going to have to throw away Michael's ice cream after this. What ice cream do you eat?

No, I don't even really eat. I'm just kidding. He's lying? I have like one ice cream. Jenny's. Jenny's is great. No, he has no attachment to food. I love Jenny's.

Jenny's is great. My kid has the vegan version. Because at the one in Russia. I buy like a thing of ice cream I'll have like four bites and then I won't touch it again for oh no one wants to hang out

with you because no one does that by the way I buy ice cream and I eat the whole container you're not delivering my baby in two hours

at the house either I don't know about that or directing the light I don't like a lot of ice cream no but seriously listen when the kids didn't

so Lennox now eats meat she decided last summer that she wanted to try it. And we said, cool, you can try grass-fed beef. And she said, I like it. And I like the way it makes me feel. And we said, no problem. You can have it two to three times a week.

Wow. She's intuitive. But she knows what makes her body feel good. And one of the best stories ever was right before COVID hit, we went camping. And we, you know, they had the campground, the little store, whatever. And she wanted those. Oh, my gosh. You know, they're like in plastic.

They're ICs. And they're like all food coloring. Otter Pops? Not Otter Pops. No, no. This is like what we grew up in. Like 25 cent plastic. XC sticks? No, I don like what we grew up in. Like 25 cent plastic.

XC sticks? No, I don't know the brand. But it's like, you know, they're fully plastic, artificial coloring, all sugar, frozen. And they're tall and skinny, like a ruler. Maybe, sure. I don't know what they're called. Autopop? Yeah, it's just straight ice with like sugar and water.

Yeah, terrible. Like artificial flavoring. Yeah, the worst. And nothing I want to give her. But she's five. So she terrible. Like artificial flavoring. Yeah, the worst. Like nothing I want to give her. But she's five. So she's fully understands that kids have those. So she's like, I really want one. And I said, I really would prefer not to get you that because there's no beneficial reason for you to have that.

Like there's no nutrition. But I really want to try it. I said, okay, fine. Because she was there. I said, here's the deal. You can have it. I'm going to tell you first why. I'm going to read really want to try it. I said, okay, fine. She, cause she was, she was there. I said, here's the deal. You can have it. I'm going to tell you first. Why I'm going to read you what's in it.

I'm going to tell you why, why I wouldn't want to give it to you. So food coloring, red fat, like all of that. Right. So she, those are things that she is used to hearing.

Right. She's, I still want to have it. Okay, cool. We're going to check in and 15 minutes, 30 minutes in an hour. So you can check where your body,

see how your body feels. 15 minutes. She was an hour so you can check with your body see how your body feels 15 minutes she was like i'm fine she keeps on eating it 20 minutes later she's like oh my god i'm itching mama i'm itching she's like this thing is toxic this reminds me of you when i tell you hey maybe you shouldn't eat this banana split at midnight listen i will crush a banana split and then you say oh oh, I have a headache. This is you're literally Lennox with the otter pop. I'm like a 35 year old child. And all of a sudden, by the way, she'll never ask to eat that again because she had her own experience with it. So the whole point of my thing is like you just give the kids we all eat differently and we all

feel like our bodies benefit from some people are like heavy meat eaters. They feel like they need to eat meat. Some people love, you know, plant-based. Cool, no problem. Just educate your kid and how you eat and why you eat that way. And then allow them to follow suit. And then when they want to try something else, encourage them to do so as long as they can figure out,

you know, how does that, as long as they are willing to answer those questions. How did that make your body feel? Feels good? Should we eat that again? Great. Did that make your body feel crappy? Should we eat that again?

No? Great. You've inspired me. You are very inspiring. As a mother, a business person, tell us about what you're working on before you leave. Tell us about all the projects that you have in the works where our audience can

find you. Okay. So you can find me on Instagram at Denise Vassi, V-A-S-I. And you can find our site made, M-A-E-D dot co, C-O. We're in the works. I'm in development on a like little secret project coming in next year. So I'm really excited. It's going to be in the beauty space. So yeah, that's what's coming up next. And I can't wait for everybody to finally see it. I'm going to answer like the, probably the number one question I get is going to be answered next year. Here's the plan. Your husband directs a commercial of you explaining to your daughter what's in the product while I'm on the pole

while you're on the pole and having your next baby there are no next babies okay shop is closed girl shop is closed I don't you can have them for me

no no any surrogates out there yeah thank you so much for coming on thank you I mean that interview I could have gone 20 different places.

I know. We're all over the place. That was so interesting. Thank you for coming on. You guys go follow Denise. Do you want to win some of my favorite beauty products? All you have to do is tell us your favorite part of this episode with Denise on my latest Instagram at Lauren Bostic.

And make sure you've rated and reviewed the podcast. And on that note, we'll see you next time. What sunscreen do I use on Zaza? This is something that I really researched. I wanted something that was vegan, paraben-free and gluten-free, and that is Sunbum. You've seen this everywhere. It is very, very famous for being an amazing sunscreen brand. I especially like it for babies and kids. So they have like sun care, skin care, hair care, lip care, and baby SPF. I am personally a huge fan of putting those bathing suits on Zaza that have sun protection in them. And then I also like to do sunscreen and a hat on her. Their Baby Bum sunscreen is for sensitive skin, and they're very much about the best ingredients. So it's for

delicate, sensitive skin. There's no synthetic fragrances. There's no sulfates. There's none of that shit in the sunscreen. The one that I like is fragrance free. I wanted to get her the mineral lotion. So they have an SPF 50. It's absolutely incredible. I think you guys will love it. If you're a mom like me who cares about sun protection, I feel like you will love Sunbum. Their motto is to trust the bum. They're a trusted brand and an educational resource. They have an incredible community too. I am all about getting the fuck out of the sun. So if you're looking for a sunscreen, especially to put on your baby or toddler, you have to check them out. Use one-time code SKINNY at checkout for 15% off your purchase at sunbum.com. This ends December 31st,

2022. And like I said, the product you want to check out is the baby bum. It's fragrance free. It's SPF 50. It's mineral. It's all the things. Use one time code a skinny at checkout for 15% off your purchase at sunbum.com. This ends December 31st, 2022. And like I said, the product you want to check out is the baby bum. It's fragrance free. It's SPF 50. It's mineral. It's