The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Southern Charm's Patricia Altschul On The Key To Romance, Dating, Hospitality, Beauty & Show Secrets

Episode Date: June 11, 2019

#194: On this episode we sit down with Southern Charm's Patricia Altschul to discuss all the things: dating, how to land a partner, her stunning house, martini tips, Michael the Butler, art, etc. We flew to her amazing manor in Charleston for this interview and you know we had ice-crushed gin martinis made especially by Michael the Butler. To see her house check out Lauryn's highlights under 'PATRICIA' on Lauryn's Instagram.  To connect with Patricia Altschul click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by FOUR SIGMATIC We have been drinking this company's mushroom-infused elixirs and coffees for over a year now. When we need a break from coffee but still need that extra morning jolt and focus the Mushroom Coffee with Lion's Mane and Chaga is the way to go. Lauryn also drinks the Mushroom Matcha which is a green tea designed as a coffee alternative for those of you who want to cut back on caffeine without losing focus and cognitive boosts. This stuff doesn't actually taste like mushrooms, it's delicious. All of these blends have a ton of nutrients and amino acids to give you balanced energy without the jitters. To try FOUR SIGMATIC products go to foursigmatic.com/skinny and use promo code SKINNY for 15% off all products. This episode is brought to you by RITUAL Forget everything you thought you knew about vitamins. Ritual is the brand that’s reinventing the experience with 9 essential nutrients women lack the most. If you’re ready to invest in your health, do what I did and go to www.ritual.com/skinny  Your future self will thank you for taking Ritual: Consider it your ‘Lifelong-Health-401k’. Why put anything but clean ingredients (backed by real science) in your body? Produced by Dear Media 

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. caffeine intake. Four Sigmatic has the blends for you. They're all delicious. Just open a pack and add to hot water. They don't taste like mushrooms. And like always, we have a special offer just for the him and her listeners. Go to foursigmatic.com forward slash skinny and enter promo code skinny at checkout for 15% off your entire order. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential. Him and her. I think that women have to put a high price on their...

Yeah, it's more than just sexuality. It's a high price on the key to their castle. Well, it's more than all of that. I mean, I think the worst thing that's ever happened is this website where people put an emoji and, you know, a piece of pizza and a beer and the girl comes over to the house, and they sleep together, and then she goes home, and then she wonders why he doesn't call her. What's this? What's this website? Oh, Tinder. Tinder, yeah. I think that is kind of like the under Western civilization. Hello, hello. Welcome back to the Skinny Confidential, him and her show. Boy, oh boy, do we have a good episode for you.

One of my idols, Patricia Alchul. Today, we're going to talk about Southern charms, Southern living, morning routines, beauty routines, the history of Patricia's life, the key to romance, landing a man, and keys to dating. Are you excited? Because I am, Michael Bostic. This was another one of our wild intros. You know, I just realized this is a back-to-back where we actually traveled, right? We did Alice Little's episode last week where we actually went out to the Bunny Ranch in Reno. And now, first time in Charleston, popped a Charleston cherry and went to visit Patricia in her home with Michael and martinis. Lots of martinis. Lots of martinis. to something we really commit, which is why we're extremely willing to travel if the person is right for the show. So Patricia and I developed a friendship over Instagram for the last year and a half. I fell in love with Southern Charm, was kind of late to the game, and then Michael

started peeping his eye over and he fell in love with Southern Charm. Obviously, I had to research the whole entire situation, so I went and bought her book. It's called The Art of Southern Charm. And if you haven't read it, read it. It has so many good tips and tricks. It's like she's very skinny confidential-esque. Don't you think, Michael? I think she's got something to aspire to for sure. Yeah. I took so many notes. I was highlighting. I was screenshotting. Just became obsessed with her and her way of living. I think she's so unique. I think she has a strong opinion. I love a strong opinion. She's intense in the best way and she just gets it. So when she told us, and excuse me, we talked on the phone, Michael, not over text, that we could come to Charleston and interview her. And not only that, she would have us over to her house.

Michael the butler would make us a martini. And then after the podcast, we would go to dinner. I like, I died. I've seen Lauren meet a lot of, let's say, interesting people. And it's rare to see you get as excited as you were with Patricia. I was a fucking swim fan. Yeah, you were getting in there. No, I just like, she is, I just love just love how she takes such a strong stance on everything.

And she's just fab. And she doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks, but in a way that just is very serving to her, I feel like. Yeah, so we went there, got the whole run down to the house. Hold on, Michael. Back up. Sorry, am I fast tracking you? You're fast tracking. Taylor, you know what I might do? Actually, my headphones are coming in real hot, so I'm going to have Taylor turn those down. Taylor's asleep on the house. Hold on, Michael. Back up. Sorry, am I fast tracking you? You're fast tracking. Taylor, you know what I might do? Actually, my headphones are coming in real hot,

so I'm going to have Taylor turn those down. Taylor's asleep on the mic. No, no, he's out. See, it's going down. Perfect. So we went to Charleston with our best friends, Gillian and Mauricio, and we dressed accordingly. I did a white on white moment. Gillian was in florals. Michael dressed up. You were in a tux. No, I wasn't in a tux. I just wore a blazer. No, you committed to the tux. Listen, the South dresses a little bit nicer than us people out here in LA, I feel like. You dabbled in a tux. So we walk in through the gates and Michael is there in his red apron waiting for us at

the door. I died. And he walks us through the house and starts showing us just one of the most incredible houses I've ever seen. And I think the reason it was so incredible is because the charm was just seeping through the wallpaper. Every room was different. Everything had a theme. Everything had a reason. Every piece of glass animal was just perfect. It was just designed impeccably for a Southern home that used to be a library. I mean, there's a lamp guy,

there's a hedge guy, there's a pond guy, there's a pool guy, there's Michael the butler. I'd love a hedge guy. There's all sorts of things in there. You know, if you guys want to see exactly what I'm talking about, cause it truly wasn't magical. Go to my Instagram at the skinny confidential and check out the Patricia highlight. Cause that's how amazing she is. She has her own highlight and I walk you through her house. And then Michael, the butler, casually turns to us and says, did you want a martini? Listen, Southern hospitality is a real thing. Yes. And of course we want a martini. So we told him to prepare it exactly how he prepared it for

Patricia. Yeah. Twist my arm, Michael. Michael, tell them specifics of how he prepares this because you're the cocktail guy. Crushed ice in a bag, olives unstuffed, and I could have about 50 of them. Yeah, she did a cheese plate, the whole thing. Anyways, we all sat down, we interviewed her, and I am so excited to bring you into Patricia's house. One of the things I'd like to mention, though, before we go in, because this was a live recording and it actually cracks me up as we went back and listened you can hear the chiming of her beautiful clocks grandfather clock

grandfather clock you can hear that chiming in the background at one point michael came in and slipped her a note we kind of went off track for a while but it was it was just like all in the best fashion and then chauncey the dog came in at one point it was just it was a real experience we you know we weren't in the studio. We were in the home and I think it was perfect. And Michael's a sound snob. So he had to let you guys know that. With that, let's welcome Patricia to the show.

She's an American socialite, art collector, and the personality, I would say the personality of the show Southern Charm. If you haven't watched it, you are missing out. Patricia, welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her show. All right, hold up. We need to talk about something that is constantly in my morning routine. It's something that I grab every single morning, and no, it's not my toothbrush or my tongue scraper or my skincare. It's my vitamins. And when I say vitamins, I actually mean vitamin, because it's a real multitasker. Ritual vitamins. If you guys

have not gotten on board with ritual, you are missing out on so many levels. First of all, I'm a vitamin snob and I've been using this for about eight months every single morning. It's so easy and efficient. I just pop it in my mouth after I've brushed my teeth or before. You can pick. I'm more of a fan of doing it after I brush my teeth because I like to tongue scrape and then brush my teeth and then take it. And this is great because it doesn't have that chalky, fishy taste. It's more of like a peppermint essence, which we love. So it's not going to make your breath smell bad. Okay, so like I said, I'm a vitamin snob. And if you know Ritual, you know that it is legit. Ritual has no nausea capsule design. It's vegan certified,

gluten and allergen free, non-GMO, and has no synthetic fillers. So all the stuff we love. Their mission's simple. They want to create the healthiest future, and in my opinion, the most efficient way. So basically, it's going to fill in the gaps in your diet. So anything that you're missing, like nutrient shortfalls, and really spark up your energy. There's nine essential nutrients in Ritual. You can see this all on their website. It's laid out so clearly. It's not some crazy website. So it has folate, omega-3, vitamin B12, vitamin D3 iron, vitamin K2, boron, vitamin E, and magnesium. Now, my favorite side of this, if we're being honest, is magnesium because it gets things moving. And then I also love vitamin B12 because it gives me energy, which I feel like I need.

Vitamins are sort of like putting on sunscreen. The sooner you do it, the better it is for your long-term health. All right. So better health doesn't happen overnight. And right now, Ritual is offering all Skinny Confidential, him and her listeners, 10% off during your first three months. Fill in the gaps in your diet with Essential for Women, a small step that helps support a healthy foundation for your body. Visit ritual.com slash skinny to start your ritual today. That's 10% off during your first three months at ritual.com slash skinny. Back to the show. This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her. First of all, Patricia, we are very grateful and thankful that you invited us into your beautiful home and that your Michael has made us all massive gin martinis.

They're going down smooth. Welcome to the him and her show. Thank you. Thank you. I'm so glad that you all are here and you can have another martini after you finish that one. A lady after my own heart. You might have to drag us out of here. You're not limited, you know. So let's get a little bit of background for anyone who doesn't know you. I feel like everyone already does, but just give us a little background. Talk to us about your childhood and what it was like. I grew up in Richmond, Virginia. I went to private schools there. I went away to a Quaker boarding school when I was in high school. My father was a surgeon diplomat with the Navy.

My mother was a stay-at-home housekeeper. Well, she didn't actually do any housework, but she was at home. And she was really quite, she was a very strong, independent woman. And my father didn't marry until he was 60-something. Wow, held him off for a while. And yeah, he was quite the roue, apparently. And my mother was 30. So there was about 35 years age difference. But they adored one another. And, uh, I had a very happy,

uncomplicated childhood. You know, I rode horses, I played tennis, I went swimming. Um, it was just very uneventful, you know, I've never needed therapy for my childhood. Okay. So talk to us about when you first got married. Okay. I got married when I was 20 and I met my husband in Washington, DC at a party. And I guess I was with him about three months when I decided to get married and my mother said do you want a big check or a big wedding and I had been bridesmaid and been to I don't know 12 weddings that year and so I decided I would take the big check. I mean, I think big weddings are kind of a waste of money anyway. I've never had a big wedding. I agree with you. Yeah. It just seems like a lot of work for

the people getting married too, right? Like you don't want to spend the whole time just shaking hands and running. You don't want to have a good time. Well, you know, because I was a bridesmaid so often, I saw acrimony, super stress. One of the in-laws at one particular wedding the the mother of the bride went down the aisle and yanked off all the flowers that were on the the you know the pews and got they got into a ferocious argument in the church and And I thought, I don't need this. It's just too much. So is your first husband Whitney's father? Yes. Okay. So talk to us about when you decided to get pregnant with Whitney, what that was like,

because I know you wrote about it in your book. Well, I was married when I was 20. I was going to George Washington University. I graduated cum laude. I was a serious student. I then went on to get a double master's degree in art history and archaeology. And I was then asked to be an instructor. And I did that on the college level and then became an assistant professor before I was 29, which is when I had Whitney. So I was married nine years before I got pregnant and I wanted that career path to be established because I could always go back to it. So you didn't, so when you say go back

to it, you just didn't want to be reliant solely on the marriage and your husband, you wanted to have your own thing. Absolutely. And that was ingrained into me by both parents. I think that's important. I think that if you were speaking to a millennial woman, why, like, why would you tell them that that's important? I think it's so important to have your own thing as a woman and be independent. Well, I think education, higher education is important. It's important because it teaches you reasoning, analysis. It's culturally important. It's historically important. It gives you a frame of reference so that when you're with somebody who's also educated, you understand what they're talking about.

You know that line by Frank Sinatra who said, when you go on a date with a woman, it shouldn't be a staring contest? Have you heard that? No. That's one of my favorite things to think about. Well, I don't think of Frank Sinatra as being like the end all be all of you know i agree higher culture and learning the quote's funny though the quote is funny i i give you that so what kind of child was whitney was he good whitney was actually very very. He was a sweet child. He was adorable, if I do say so myself. He had blonde hair. He was a dream as a child. The only thing I can think of that he did that was bad was one time

he was a toddler, and I was talking on the phone phone and he hated it when I talked on the phone because he wanted all my attention. And so I guess I was on the phone too long and he opened the refrigerator and peed into it. I'm sure he's going to love that we talk about that on this show. And I spanked him. Only a few people will hear it. And I know you're not supposed to spank children, but he deserved it. And I spanked him. Do you think that's true though? I see a lot of this debate going on about spanking children. I got spanked as a kid, but you know, but I probably deserve it. I was kind of out there.

And I think there's a difference between like hitting, I guess it's all the same thing, hitting and spanking a little bit when they're, when they're young. Cause how do you, how do you teach a, I'd like to get your take on that. Well, I mean, you know, I'm not taking a belt and making welts. I just put him over my lap and just, you know, whopped him on the bottom a couple of times. It didn't hurt him. It just, you know, humility. It was

humiliation and making a point. I think that's... I don't know. I'm probably going to get in trouble for saying this. People are going to write in, say you never do that. I get it. But, you know, it happened to to me and I feel like I turned out somewhat okay. Sometimes. I could thank you once in a while if I wanted to. That's a whole different type of thing.

So what were the circumstances behind you relocating to Charleston or locating to Charleston? Well, my husband passed away in 2002 and I stayed in New York. I had a big country house in Center Island, an apartment in New York. I had a big country house in Center Island an apartment in New York and I don't know. I just I'm southern and I missed that and So I decided that I could easily keep that I got another apartment a smaller apartment in New York I sold a big apartment and I thought well, I'll just go back and forth, you know, but I want to go back to my Southern roots. And I have tons of friends in New York and all over the country, really. And I thought,

I'll just use that as my base and I'll go back and forth. Well, as it turned out, I went to New York less and less and just, I mean, I am so happy here in Charleston. But when I bought the house, people in New York said, Oh, my God, you're so crazy. Going down there. You know, in the sticks in the south with honey boo boo and gator boys. And you're going to miss New York. Well, now they think I'm a genius because everybody from New York is moving down to Charleston. I mean, it's a beautiful house. We're here right now. We're sitting in your living room eating a cheese plate.

Did it look like this when you first moved in? I'm assuming you've done a lot of work. Oh, no. I mean, this was a public library for 30 years. So, you know, every surface has been redone. Every system has been replaced. I had an architect, Mario Boada was the decorator. It took a good two years of 20 men being here every day working to get it to this point. And now look at it. I mean, oh my gosh. I could get used to it in here. I could get used to this. I could get used to this too. It's heaven. I'm telling you. I love it here. So no

missing of New York anymore at all. I miss it a little, but I go back often enough and I stay with friends and, you know, go out and I still have some doctors in New York that I see, but, uh, I'm just happy as a clam here. So at what point when you're living here, does Whitney come to you and say, I have this idea for a show? Well, Whitney, you know, basically has always lived in L.A. People think that he lives with his mother, but that's not true. That was kind of a false start on Southern Charm. They thought it would sound good if Whitney lived with his mother. But he quickly disabused everybody of that idea.

I can see why. Yeah, exactly. He refused to go along with that, you know, thread. So he came here, this was after I got moved in and, you know, I started meeting people and, um, he, he went out and, um, you know, makes friends, and he had some contacts here. And he decided that it was such a quirky mix of people that it had to be a reality TV show. The people mixed with the ambiance of the city. I mean, Charleston is a character itself.

Is it true it's one of the oldest, and Wikipedia says it's the oldest, largest city in the U.S., but I don't know if I believe that it's the oldest city. Is it the oldest? How do you define it? It's not the oldest city. Jamestown was in Virginia, was founded in 1607. People say coming over on the Mayflower, you know, was the end-all be-all. That was 1620. So actually that was a lot later than the Virginia settlement. And they were basically indentured servants and criminals where Virginia and Charleston were settled by Cavaliers, Englishmen, aristocrats. So let's talk about the South a little bit.

You were calling Northerners Yankees. I thought it was really funny. What do you think is the difference between Yankees and Southerners? I would say a world of difference. Let's get into that world. What would we be considered if we were us people from California? Yeah, what are we considered? Westerners? We don't think about you all you don't count you're on the west coast what are the major differences um between the south and the north like what all right well i

can tell you easily in new york and i'm basing the North being Yankees, you know, based on my experience in New York, people got up at five o'clock in the morning to exercise, um, see their trainer, see their therapist, and then go to work and work until eight o'clock at night,

have a couple drinks, eat some bad food and go to bed. And then started all over again. Maybe I am a northerner. In the South, you get up at, I don't know, nine or ten. You read the newspaper. You have breakfast in bed. You know, you slowly eke into the day.

You work. You do whatever you have to do, you know, when you're forced to do it, and you do it happily, and then you start having cocktails at five. Nobody exercises. Walking to the bar is your only exercise. And it's very convivial. You have people in. The hospitality is renowned. People like to cook and have you in their home and come by for a drink. Whereas in New York, you never go to anybody's house or apartment unless, you know, it's a special occasion. Usually you have tables at events or you meet up in restaurants. It's just different. What can I say? If can I say? I'm Southern, you're Northern.

If I was a Northerner, I might be, I might've just been converted to, to become a Southerner. That sounds pretty good to me. Yeah, it's amazing. Well, when you think about the origins, you have the religious fanatics peopling the northern countries, Massachusetts, New York, and so forth, they were burning witches for nefarious acts, you know, wearing letter A's around their necks. And in the South, it was people by cavaliers, and they are dancing, horse racing, gambling, drinking, having Madeira shipped in from, you know, Portugal. It was a totally different mindset and sense of activity. If you did that in the north, you'd be burned at the stake. How does your southern morning start off?

So many people are curious about this. Like if you could get so specific with it. Michael, what's that sound? That is the sound of me cracking open one of my favorite, favorite beverages, the four sigmatic mushroom focus shot with lion's mane chaga. I'm about this because coffee gives you this weird fake cough and with this you don't get it. So drink up. I take this stuff every time I need to do something important. Every time I need a podcast, if I need to focus, it is the best. It's completely different than coffee while also giving a lot of the same benefits, right? You get a little bit of energy, you get a little focus. For those of you that aren't familiar with Four Sigmatic,

it is the absolute best. They contain half the caffeine of real coffee, have a ton of nutritional benefits and adaptogenics. It contains two mushrooms, lion's mane and chaga, which helps you think and gives you a powerhouse of antioxidants, no sugar, no jitters, just complete focus and boost. I'm going to do a plot twist here though, like a real plot twist and talk about skin. So Four Sigmatic recently launched skin. Now, this is legit, you guys, because this is superfood serum. They have a couple different things. My favorite is the serum right now.

I cannot stop using it. I first started trying it in Finland, which was probably like six months ago. Basically, and this is crazy, it's so pure that you can actually eat it and ingest it, which is nuts. This serum's known to fight fine lines, redness, and dryness. It's also going to plump the face. I bring it down, obviously, all the way to the tits, you know, take it down. And then it's going to be sort of like citrusy, how it smells. So sometimes you want to like eat it, you know? Anyway, it oily sensitive acne or dry skin i'm very much about the serum i think you guys will love it with a pump in your foundation and lays insane on the skin we've been talking about four sigmatic for a long time we love their products take them every week like

i said i'm taking the mushroom shot now and I take it before every podcast that we do. So check them out. Go to four sigmatic.com slash skinny and enter promo code skinny for 15% off your entire order. Again, that's four sigmatic.com slash skinny and promo code skinny for 15% off your entire order guys. I'm telling you this stuff is a complete game changer. Whenever I wake up and because I love to watch movies and read, you know, sometimes I don't go to sleep until one or two in the morning. I get up, well, I don't get up. I wake up at like nine or ten or later. I have breakfast in bed. I call downstairs. So I read newspapers.

And then I look at Twitter, Instagram. And I'm the only one in my age group with my friends that knows how to do any of that. What I found interesting is that you and Lauren have developed like a little friendship on Instagram DM. She's always so excited when you guys are talking and writing back. talking to her. I, I was a fan of the show. I just thought you were so fabulous and everything that any woman would want. And then I read your book and I was floored. And my friend Gillian and I compared notes on this book. I got the perfume or not the perfume, the potpourri you have. We've talked about this. I got your bed tray. I learned so many tips. I learned I can't drink vodka. I need to drink gin, which you can sort of speak on. Can you tell our audience about the tip you told me

earlier about gin? Oh, yes. Well, vodka, I think is very décloset. It's made from a lonely potato. Gin has 18 different botanicals. And so when I say it's time for my medicine, I think of it as that exactly. And you said one. Medicinal. You do one? I just do one. Okay. And then you do sometimes a glass of champagne, but no more than that.

No. No. Yeah. So for anyone that thinks, you saying, sometimes people think on the show that you wake up and you're having a martini. That's not the case. Well, what they do is when they film, uh, and usually it's in my home, they'll say, all right, ring for Michael and get a martini. So I'm happy to, you know, acquiesce. And I don't usually film early in the morning or early afternoon. I work with my secretary assistant until 2 o'clock every day because I do business.

I have many interests. I have a lot of things that I have to get accomplished and I don't want to be bothered until like two or three in the afternoon. So basically the filming that you see me do is late in the afternoon. I like that. You know what? I always say this late in the afternoon. This is the thing. And I'm going to, I'm going to call you out. Michael likes to wake up at five. He's out the door. I need my face to the puffiness to go down in my face. If I put on makeup too early, it's like putting makeup on a pig. I need a minute. I'd rather go out later than early in the morning. Michael's the complete opposite. Well, when my eyes, if I wake up in the morning

and I open my eyes, I'm just, I'm just immediately ready to go. I don't know what that, what that's about. It's just. It just is. Can you talk to us about some of your businesses? Because you said you have a lot of different interests. I know I'm a huge fan of your dog and cat business. Maybe you could speak on that and your new pillows. Well, I mean, I've always worked. I've always been interested in, quite frankly, making money.

And I was very good at it. I made an enormous amount of money in the 60s and 70s for a woman because I was an advisor to private collectors and museums finding major art acquisitions for them. And I might make $400,000 on a single painting. Wow. In the 60s and 70s that's a lot and uh and i was quite good at it and i worked with the major collectors from that period and i put together several collections of art where i had no budget so So the quality was the key.

And anything that I found, and I would travel all over the United States and Europe finding art for museums and collectors. And I loved it. I mean, it was fantastic. I would get on the Concorde. I'd fly to Paris. I'd go to museums. I'd go to art galleries.

And that's actually how I met my late husband. I had known him 20 years earlier because I had found paintings for him. And some of the paintings are in your home. And some of the paintings are in my home. In fact, these two paintings actually were from him. And they have been exhibited in the Louvre, Milan, Japan, the Metropolitan Museum. Is there one painting that has your heart over all of them? You know, I have an emotional attachment to the important ones, but also insignificant ones that I have found,

you know, in my travels, something that appeals to me. What is the key to marriage? I feel, I feel like we were talking about this earlier. You're so, I feel like you've, you've figured out the craft. So if someone's listening and they're single and they want to know maybe how to land a man, what would your tip be? Well, I think that instead of thinking marriage after one date, which I think women do historically, I think that you have to give that person your full attention that, and I call it the Nancy Reagan stare, you have to look that person in the eye, you have to listen to what they say, and you have to respond to what they're talking about. And instead of trying to get your points across and talking about your issues and your past romances, which I think is the biggest mistake

of all, you have to really, I think, focus on not yourself, but the other person, uh, really listen to what they're saying and people will tell you who they are. You know, touching on that, I haven't been dating for a long time. I've been with Lauren, right? And she's, she we're together, but whenever I used to date women and they would go into this long tirade about their past relationships, it was a major turnoff. I think that's the biggest mistake that women make. It's stupid. What about, can you speak on maybe women that, and I'm not saying this is bad or good, I just want your opinion. If someone wants to get married or be in a relationship hooking up on the first date or the second date, I'm a big fan of sort of holding that key close to my chest if I was dating and looking to get married.

I think that women have to put a high price on their... Yeah, it's more than just sexuality. It's... I'm trying to think of the right word. A high price on the key to their castle. Well, it's more than all of that i mean you know i think the worst thing that's ever happened is this website where people put an emoji and you know a piece of pizza and a beer and the girl comes over to the house and they sleep together and then she goes home and then she wonders why he doesn't call

her what's this what's this website oh tinder tinder yeah i think that is kind of like the under western civilization i agree with you dating apps it's stupid i think women are doing some very stupid things well let's get into that because there's a lot of women listening that want to try to avoid those stupid things. I think when you go out on a date, you should focus on finding out who that person is and whether you even want to bother with him again or not. And to do that, you have to listen. You have to respond accordingly. And you can talk about yourself

because clearly you're an independent person and you want, you know, to make yourself known to him, but don't divulge too much. Women will say the most, I don't know, damning things about themselves. Talking about past relationships is the worst, but they get competitive. They brag about themselves. Southern women would never do that. Okay. So if you were giving someone three tips on how to go on an awesome first date, what are you going to tell them? You're going to tell them, it sounds like to listen more. And to respond accordingly and to not change the conversation because you really want to find out what they're about and whether my attitude would

be, do I want to pursue this? Not am I going to do whatever to, uh, to curry his favor. And I think that's an attitude that needs to be changed. Where does your confidence come from? I have no idea. You just think it's, do you think it's something you're born with, or do you think it's something that you've worked on? Um, I think it comes from doing what I wanted to with my life, being independent and, um, and having a good time and enjoying it and not, not making it so serious. So if someone, life is too serious to be taken seriously. I agree. I agree. I totally agree. So if someone's out there and they're listening and they are actually married, and this is maybe,

this is definitely pertaining to me. How do you keep the spice going? Do we give him the Nancy Reagan every day? It's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. Well, marriage is a lot of work. It is a lot of work.

Oh, Michael's bringing Patricia. No, no, you can do whatever. Don't worry. Hold on. Whitney will be here in 15 minutes. Great.

He can join the show. No, we're not going to sabotage. I have an extra mic. Just, oh, maybe I don't. Okay. What? I can't. Mike.

He's going directly to the Bennett. Okay. Why wouldn't he go with us? Well, you know. Because what? He said, you can ask him. It's your child. He said, you can ask him.

He's your child. Oh, Michael. I will be keeping all of this in. It's so amazing. Would you call, would you call Halls and tell them we're going to be a little late? You're only 10 minutes late already, so should I tell them you'll be there by 8 possibly? Yeah. Yeah.

We might be a little late. How much time do you think we have left? Maybe 15 minutes? Yeah, about 15 minutes. Is that okay? We'll be out front in 15 minutes. Okay, so. I can't. No, I 15 minutes. Okay, so.

No, I love this. I love this. Well, the audience is bearing with us here. We could all. We can't all fit in the room. We can't put four in the back seat. Elegantly. Well. We can squeeze in whatever.

We can squeeze. We can squeeze. Somebody can sit in the front. We'll squeeze in the back. I can sit on Michael's lap. So, okay, Patricia, I want to ask you this. So it's rare that I watch reality TV, but I've seen every single season of Southern Charm

because when Lauren puts it on, I can't take my eyes away. I'm usually trying to read. I'm a big reader while she's watching. But when the show is on, I watch it. And as someone who's had a lot of success in their life, I want to understand why you decided to actually go on TV because you'd already achieved such phenomenal success in your own life. Why did you make the decision then say, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to showcase this life to the world. I did it because Whitney asked me to.

Okay. And that was the sole reason. Yeah, that was the sole reason. I mean, and quite frankly, what he said to me was, just do it for five minutes and that's all. And now look, here we are. And here we are, you know, six seasons later. But actually, it's fun. I mean, I have a good time with it. I say whatever pops into my head. I don't care what I say and or who likes it or doesn't like it. How has the show changed your life, your day to day? Because I know that there's people that

line up outside your house, tourists. Other than that, is there anything that's been a huge difference? Not really. I mean, I was in Jaipur, India with a friend of mine and, um, I was talking to her. I was in the ladies room and somebody outside the stall said, Oh, is that Patricia? This is in Jaipur, India. What would you, what would you change if anything about the show than the way that you've been portrayed? If you would change anything. Well, the only thing

that I don't really like is that people think I drink all day. Which you don't. Which I don't. Nobody's ever seen me drunk. What I find so interesting... In fact, I'm the only one on the show that hasn't been

portrayed in an inebriated state yeah what i found so interesting when we were talking kind of off where before we were recording is that i thought whitney and you would have a lot more say in what you can what they can show and not show i didn't realize that once you're on tv you release all editorial yeah we have no say whatsoever but we were talking earlier too. I think the reason people fantasize that you drink all day, like that's their fantasy. They see, they see this beautiful house. You have Michael, you have access to whatever you want. So in their fantasy, you know, maybe they're waking up and having a mimosa, but in reality, I mean, the reality is you're having one martini. I want to know, and I'm sure everyone wants to know, exactly how to make the gin martini. Can you give us a couple tips with the bag and the crusher?

You have to use, well, first of all, you have to have a proper glass. It has to be the right size and shape. You have to crush ice with a Lewis ice bag and a mallet. I like beef eater gin, but a trick is to use French vermouth and not Italian vermouth. So I like boisserie vermouth. Why is that a trick? It just tastes better. Any special olives? I just like plain olives. I don't like fancy stuffed olives with blue cheese. It changes the taste. I agree. You don't want all those chunks floating in your martini. Certainly not. I'm so specific with what I recommend to my audience. Like I have, you know, my certain face creams and all these different things. And when I read your book, there was so

many things in there that were specific like me. is there stuff that you do every single day that are non-negotiables? And if so, what are those specifics? Like what face cream are you using? Is there a certain lipstick you love even down to your potpourri? I'd love to know just little tips and tricks that you do. Well, I actually have new products. Um, i like skinceuticals they um i love them yeah i think it's a very high quality uh serum and face cream i like tasha the water cream which i hadn't used last year. I'm trying to think of anything else. Hair, nails. Tell everyone your potpourri, because the potpourri everyone needs. Yeah.

I mean, there's nothing worse than bad potpourri. You know when you go in somebody's house and your eyes start watering because they've got some really horrible potpourri, cinnamon and something. It's called agraria. And I just do it in bulk. I put like that big thing over there and I have another, you know, Chinese vase filled with potpourri. You know what I want to talk about? Because I think you've been strong on this. this etiquette and young people's etiquette. I think we're losing a lot of just

general etiquette and manners. What, what advice would you have to young people that are thinking about upping their, their game when it comes to manners? Michael has very good manners, very good manners. Well, if I were a parent, I would buy a copy of DeBrett's etiquette book. And I would underline certain things, and then I would give them a test. To this day, if I have dinner with my mother, I am scared to put my elbows on the table. As well you should be. Yeah, I don't. Because when I was a kid, she would take a fork, and if I had the elbow on the table, boom, right into the elbow.

She said, nope. And that's what her dad did and i think there's just general things opening the door for a woman opening a card or putting in there's just certain things i think we're losing a lot of youth is losing well i hate to say it but during the feminist revolution women and i can understand because i was part of that want wanted the independence and the recognition of independence but they gave up a lot by insisting on opening their own car door and You know pulling their own chair out because I think those are kind of niceties that are Personal and and cities that are, are, um, personal and, and civilized and kind. I always want everything done for me. I never want to be someone that opens my own car door, just so you know.

I get it. But I think, you know, we're in a, we're living in a political climate where I get what you're saying where, you know, women, listen, everybody's for equal rights, but I think there is something nice about men still being gentlemen and gentlemanly like, and we want that. And I saying where you know women listen everybody's for equal rights but i think there is something nice about men still being gentlemen and gentlemanly like and we want that and i don't want to feel punished for doing that does that make sense well i believe in equal rights especially in the workplace but let's face it men and women are different. They have different DNA makeups. Men are from Mars. And you have to acknowledge that the differences are there. And I can remember reading, I took an anthropology course years ago, and one of the mainstays was

the natural superiority of women written by Montague Summers, an anthropologist. Because women control all the wealth in the country. And we live 10 to 15 years longer than you all do. And I don't think that women and men are equal. I think, quite frankly, that women are superior. I agree. Listen, I'm not disputing it. What can we expect from this season's Southern Charm? Gillian just told me that Whitney knew from the very beginning that you were going to be the real star of the show. So I'm assuming that

this season we're going to see a lot of you. Well, you know, I pop up here and there, but what happens is on the show, women get more assertive and get stronger and they really give it to the guys on the show. You're going to see a lot of comeuppance on this season and rightly so. I agree. And I love them all, but they all need like a good slap now. Can you talk to me about what's happened to T-Rav? Because I don't think I've ever seen a more absurd character in the history of television. T-Rav is a star. Yes. because I have been served with papers and have to give a deposition and have been subpoenaed by T-Rav,

I cannot say anything about him. Wow. Let's just say that he was perfect for reality TV. I think so. I mean, that's what I'm saying. I don't think I've ever seen a crazier character on TV because it just unraveled. And he's a very prominent name here in Charleston,

or his family is, correct? Yes, absolutely. There's a giant bridge after them. Yep. If you could give one piece of advice, your best advice ever to all the millennial women that are listening, what would it be? Do anything you can to keep yourself

from looking desperate. Elaborate. Let's elaborate. Lauren's about to explode laughing. I agree. She's trying to hold in her laughter. There's nothing more attractive in a woman than one who has opinions, who's informed, who has an interesting life that she's made for herself, and who is busy and engaged. And there's nothing worse than a needy, desperate, what's the right word?

It's a desperate energy that I think men can feel. I think they can sense it. No question. And it's how you conduct yourself, you know, and you have a nice evening, then go on to whatever else you're doing and don't think about it. My grandma used to tell me, get busy. Get busy is it.

I would call her, I said, I have anxiety. Get busy, get outside yourself, get busy. And every single time that I've you know felt any of those feelings I get busy just get busy get busy and think people like momentum they like momentum and also they like people that do things and go places and don't wait waiting is death don't do it is death. Can you speak a little bit on that? Well, you know, you go out with somebody and, oh, look, there's a pug. Hi, Chauncey. He'll be eating all the cheese off the tray in a minute.

So waiting is the death. Yeah. I mean, you go out, you have a nice dinner with somebody. Then the next day, do not give it another thought. Do not call that person. Do not text that person. You know, put your phone away and get out. Do your work.

Go play tennis. Take a trip. Put yourself in a straight jacket if you have to. Just don't text them the next day. No, absolutely not. As a man, when that happens, you're like, wait a minute. What did I not do right? Why is this woman not pursuing me?

I got to go chase that. I got to chase that down. I got to pursue it. Well, you just said the word, and that is pursue. It's not a woman's, and I don't care about equality men like a challenge they like somebody who's interesting they don't like a predictable desperate woman let them do the pursuing that is man's job that's a man's work i don't think that's sexist though right it's like it's nice to have a very confident that's sexist though, right? It's like, it's nice

to have a very confident woman, but it's also nice to, you know, to feel that pursuit because in my, in my experience, when you, when it's the opposite and you feel like you can get with that woman or whoever at any time, it takes a little bit of the challenge out of it. It's like, oh, maybe I just, it's, there's something ingrained in us as men. I think that just, it's a turnoff. It's a general turnoff. I couldn't agree more. I mean, there's a ingrained in us as men i think that just it's a turnoff it's a general turnoff i couldn't agree more i mean there's a certain point when a relationship reaches that level of intimacy where you feel comfortable texting them or calling them but not at first i agree i i always say act aloof like a poodle meh just like a poodle put your tail up and act like a poodle I gotta write a blog post I call it meh before we go last question what is a book

a podcast a resource a television show it could be anything that you would recommend to our audience um I just read a book what is the name of it a crawdads um everyone keeps talking about that book is it like a pinkish cover on the front what's the name of it michael i mean it's a long book it's complicated and it's written by i'll find it would you find it for me please it's called i know what you're talking about. It's called Crawdad. What kind of books in general do you like to read? Because I know you're a big reader. What kind of genres?

Well, I read all kinds of books. Where the Crawdads Sing. What is it? Where the Crawdads Sing. Where the Crawdads Sing. It's a beautifully written book it was written by a woman who was a botanist southern um the twists and turns of the characters is absolutely amazing it's spellbinding it's very detailed and complicated but it is a beautifully written book i'm gonna read it that's my next book it's incredible. Where can everyone find you and Patricia's Couture?

Like, pimp your pillows out, pimp your beautiful caftans out. Where can everyone go discover everything? If you go to patriciascouture.com, you'll see it all there. And we did this because, number one, it's fun, and it's kind of unique, putting your pet's face. We recently did a chicken, and we've done an iguana, besides dogs and cats, horses.

But we're trying to get it built up to the point where we can give a lot of money to rescue organizations. That's the purpose of the whole thing. And you can get your pet printed on pillows, caftans. Pajamas, ties, scarves, yoga mats. It's a great business. I bet everyone loves that. Lauren was going to have me wear a caftan here.

But I said that might be a little too much for the first introduction if I showed up. I wanted him to wear a caftan of pixie or Chihuahua. I thought it would have been cute. And what about your Instagram handle? Pat Alcho. Perfect. And you guys have to follow her on Instagram.

She has the best account. And then she also has at Patricia's couture, right? Yes. Okay. All right. Thank you so much for having us in your beautiful house. You guys, it's even more stunning in person than it is on the show, which is crazy. Cause it's like the most beautiful thing ever on the show. Thank you so much for having us in your beautiful house. You guys, it's even more stunning in person than it is on the show, which is crazy because it's like the most beautiful thing ever on the show.

Thank you. We're loving Charleston and we're going to go finish our martini. I'm with you on that. Thank you. Thanks for coming on. Yeah, I enjoyed it. It was fun. Thank you.

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