The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - The Fat Jew Returns! - How Josh Ostrovsky AKA "The Fat Jewish" Conquered The Internet & Sold A Massive Wine Business

Episode Date: April 21, 2020

#262: On this episode we sit down again with our friend Josh Ostrovsky AKA "The Fat Jewish". This is Josh's second appearance on this show. Outside of being a massive online personality, Josh is also an entrepreneur and branding expert responsible for creating Swish Beverages which created White Girl Rose and the Babe family of sparkling wines. In 2019 the company was acquired by Anheuser-Bush. Today we have a well rounded conversation that goes in many different directions. Sit down and enjoy this wild ride! To listen to Josh's first episode on TSC podcast click HERE To connect with The Fat Jew click HERE To learn more about Babe Rose click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by Nutrafol THIRTY MILLION women experience hair loss. But it’s not openly talked about, so going through it yourself can feel lonely and frustrating. It’s time to change the conversation and join the thousands of women standing up for their strands. Nutrafol is formulated with potent botanicals to help you grow hair as strong as you are and it’s physician-formulated to be one hundred percent drug-free. Visit Nutrafol.com and use promo code SKINNY for 20% your order and free shipping.  This episode is brought to you by BETABRAND and their Betabrand dress pant yoga pants. To try these pants go to betabrand.com/skinny and receive 20% off your order. Millions of women agree these are the most comfortable pants you’ll ever wear to work.  This Episode is brought to you by Beet Elite   Do what we did. Take your game to the next level with Beet Elite by going to www.LiveHuman.com/skinny and get 20% off your first purchase. The team at Human is making this offer exclusive to our listeners ONLY!  Produced by Dear Media

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her.

Here's the thing. So every time I go and do one of these business school talks, I have like milestones on one hand. Him and her. How many times can you get handjob into a business talk without it being ridiculous? I was able to get in there seven times. I said handjob at Yale Business School seven times. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to the Skinny Confidential, him and her podcast. You've got us live from our house. Wow, it's like Groundhog Day, isn't it? It is like Groundhog Day. That clip was from our guest of the show today. Many of you may know him online as the Fat Jew. His name is Josh Ostrowski, and he is here to give a lighthearted, fun, always informational

episode for you guys here today. It is. This one goes all over the place. Don't listen to this episode. If you have kids in the house, maybe go to another room. I would say the car, but don't listen to this episode. If you have kids in your neighborhood, if there's kids within 50 yards of wherever you are, this is this one gets out there.

But guys, we felt, you know, this episode was recorded with Josh in the studio with a shitload of Babe Rose. Taylor joined us as well. We had a lot of fun with it. It was in the studio pre-COVID, pre-quarantine, literally, I think the Friday before all of this hit the fan and we all had to quarantine ourselves. So when you listen to it, keep in mind that, you know, it was recorded before we all had to go on lockdown, but we felt, you know, do we hold the episode? Do we keep it? The reason we wanted to put it out is because I think everybody could use a little bit of lighthearted, you know, easy content. And this, this one definitely is. It's so weird because we got to kiss on the cheek, which is like so early 2020. We can't do that anymore. Josh and I had a little like tongue kiss on the cheek.

Can't do that. But yeah, like Michael said, this was recorded pre COVID. But I'm so happy to release it right now because I feel like what the world needs the energy of the world is a laugh. I feel like we all just need to loosen up and laugh and not take ourselves too seriously. So hopefully Josh can bring a little light into your day. Yeah, and this take ourselves too seriously. So hopefully Josh can bring a little light into your day. Yeah. And this was a fun episode. You know, like I said, it was COVID was just starting to happen of all of us. We didn't really know the impact it was going to have, but we, you know, obviously it's impacted all of us greatly. This is Josh's second time on the podcast. For those of you that are OG listeners, the first time, I think it was either,

it may have been the last time Lauren and I did a Skype interview. We just really don't like doing Skype interviews. It's hard to, you know, I mean, maybe we're gonna have to do more of them now, either Skype or Zoom because of everything going on. But, you know, we really like to be in person with the guests. So we had him on. I don't think it was nearly what this episode is, you guys be the judge, because, you know, it was over Skype. We couldn't see each other. We didn't really like know how to interact. And it was early and we were very rookie. We, so we also had some, some drinks in this episode. We got loose. Oh yeah. We, we get loose on this episode. We popped our puss. But anyway,

guys, this was a fun, lighthearted episode. So for those of you that do not know who Josh is, he built a, you know, he's built a massive brand for himself. Um, he describes himself as basically the fat Jew. He's an American celebrity, writer, actor, model, and winemaker and entrepreneur. And I would really, you know, when I say that, I'm dead serious about it. He really, really built a massive brand with Swiss beverages, which launched White Girl Rose. I'm sure many of you have had it and drink it. And then also the Babe family of sparkling wine and canned wines that he later announced and sold to Anheuser-Busch, the people that own budweiser

for and i won't say josh but a shitload of money we also have a code for you guys at the end of this episode uh for babe rose so get excited get your pen out for that one i would buy a lot i would stock up it's very instagrammy and i have massive respect for him because he is a fucking brand builder yep And for those of you that don't think that, you know, maybe you've seen his online meme content and you're like, oh, I wonder what's going on here. Is this serious? So, you know, the acquisition for Swish Beverages by Anheuser-Busch is the brewer's largest wine investment to date. So, you know, it's an impressive number. Impressive. Josh, welcome back on the show. Before we get into

the show with Josh, let's talk about hair. So since I had the baby, my hair has been thinner. Sometimes it falls out in the shower, which is not ideal. So I have been wanting to work with a brand that really promotes hair growth. And this is a brand that I've known about for a long time. I've actually spoken to the founder multiple times. And finally, I started trying it. And I already feel like my hair has gotten thicker. So I feel like women don't don't talk about this a lot. They don't talk about thinning hair, but nearly half of all women experience

hair loss at an early age, like as early as 40, sometimes 30 and especially after birth. So I know that feels scary, which is why I really wanted to broach this subject on the blog and on the podcast, and I'll continue to talk about it. Okay, so the brand is called Nutrafol, and it's basically formulated with a bunch of potent botanicals that help your hair grow strong. And this is really important. You don't just want to grow hair, right? You want to grow strong hair. And you should also know before we get into this whole thing that it's 100% drug free. It's a natural clinically effective botanicals for better hair. Basically, what you do is you go to neutral full.com and you take their hair wellness quiz. So I went and took the quiz and then you get a customized product recommendation and you just

take it with your vitamins every day. And I want to say that they also make it for men. So, you know, you could take a quiz for yourself and then maybe the man in your life. Give a hint. Give a little hint. Little hints, you know. It's not always just about genetics. There's many factors that can play a role into hair growth. So you can grow thicker, healthier hair and support the Skinny Confidential, him and her show by going to Nutrafold.com and using promo code SKINNY to get 20% off. This is the best offer available anywhere right now. You guys, you get free shipping on every order. You get 20% off at Nutrafold dot com promo code skinny. Again, their best offer anywhere 20% off at Nutrafold dot com. That's

N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L dot com promo code skinny for hair as strong as you are. Okay, you ready for Josh? This is the skinny confidential him and her. I'm confused about something. Now I'm doing the interview. Okay, please. Never eaten her butt. Not one time. No, no, no.

There's been a couple. But not in recent memory. After birth. Right. We haven't even got the okay for me to have sex yet. The baby's five weeks old right now. Right. So we went through kind of a period of nine months of that.

There's a lot of masturbation going on. Right. You know? Doctor has not given the okay. And I heard right now that if, you know, what is it? Right after you get the first ovulation, like you are fertile right again. And I don't think we're, we're not trying to do the Irish twin thing. Jump this thing right off.

Yeah. No. We take a little time. We take a little time. Take a breather. Take a breather. I know some people like going into that where they get birth and the next one's right that's that's too much i am going to suggest something that i find to be very romantic sort of the

romantic version of anal which is missionary anal massively underrated no one does missionary anal most straight couples don't do that missionary anal yeah sort of legs up but then it's nice because you can maintain eye contact that's a a bold position. I gotta be honest though, I don't wanna maintain eye contact if I'm doing anal. I hear you, but it depends. Is it a date night? I mean, sometimes it's like, it depends what you're looking for.

Anal sometimes can be impersonal. You're back there, you're by your, everybody's by themself. I like- Super isolating. Listen, I'm not saying anything bad against anal. For me personally, I'm not a huge anal fan. I'd actually rather give a blow job. Interesting. Let me tell you something.

If Corona wasn't here, we would have never put the tongs. You see, that's a nice touch. I just looked over and you were just holding tongs. Yeah, tongs and ice. If it wasn't, I would have gone hands deep.

But I want to respect the guests. Oh, I see. In the era of Corona, now you go tongs deep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Taylor also took the ice out himself and I saw a lot of dirt under his fingernails.

The minute I saw him, I was like, something is up with this guy. I was like, what's in this fucking guy's browser history? Like, what is this guy looking at it took like three seconds for me to ascertain they're like taylor what is in your browser history i don't know i'd have to think about it yeah yeah yeah real i was gonna show you his dick lines

because you said tony has great dick lines i don't have any at the moment but when i worked out i did i had a deep v you had a capital v yeah yeah he did capital V? Yeah. He did not. I swear to God, I did. Well, I was saying some gay dudes call them the cum gutters. They're also known as suck me's. There's a bunch of different sort of nomenclature for the dick lines. What do they call dick lines

with tons of razor burn? Because he shaves everything. Oh, that was like, that was your vibe? That was his vibe. Like bumpy, like bumpy dick lines? I really don't think girls like hair. No matter what I'm telling you, girls don't like hairy.

Wait, you shave all of your pubes? yes I do I love that the worst part though is he doesn't do a good job he's from Jacksonville? he doesn't use Tenskin what are you supposed to do though? what's Tenskin?

of all people that should know about Tenskin in this room it should be you yeah yeah I tried Vaseline no thick Vaseline cocoa butter

oh my god it was a nightmare nothing like going down on the guy I thought you were gay for the first three minutes no definitely not and I was like yeah but honestly

that's hot though because I feel like you could also be the kind of guy who's into like energy you know it's not about gender you know what I mean you don't see it's a construct

you just feel the energy and you go in gender doesn't matter it's like like a connection thing yeah yeah yeah i mean yeah but not so i mean more or less what the one gender thing but right okay okay okay but like it's 2020 so maybe just like you know so you were on the show before we did skype which wasn't as intimate we said that earlier so we wanted you to come in the studio we actually wanted to drink get some coconut oil lube. We already started. You're drinking the red with the bubbles. Well, that's the one he suggested.

Let me try this really quick. Wait, actually, one last thing for you back there, horny guy. Yeah. There's not one last thing. We can keep going. No, no, no. One thing that I've been hearing that's good, a way to do it is actually a good place to look for humans to have sex with, female humans, is is on facebook marketplace because and you look for

women who are selling wedding dresses yeah really that's like a thing say that tip again for my instagram story please because that was a good one say it again that is a thing if you go on everybody's like oh i'm gonna like try to have sex from instagram or like tiktok snapchat but guess what go on facebook marketplace and look for women who are selling wedding dresses. Because honestly, they're in a bad place. And they're down. What's the way to do it?

You buy it first? You could buy it. Yeah. That would be nice, actually. If you purchased it. Help them out a little. Why the fuck are you asking? I didn't know if that was

the new wave. There's a lot of people that need this information. This motherfucker's taking notes. What the fuck? Super curious. Super curious.

You buy it first? Can you go incognito mode? Right. Totally. No, that's a pro tip. Okay. So was on before we skyped it like just wasn't we weren't really able to like see each other intertwine no yeah like in our like really intertwined so we wanted to have you in the studio we wanted to do like a tasting on air but first like give us a little bit of background for the audience i mean i'm sure everyone knows you but how did the fat jew become the fat jew who's not fat at all by the way you're looking fucking skinny i was gonna say skinny season that's an announcement that i have i have aids i know you have some cock lines coming in now too no no i'm just kidding it's coke it's just coke i've been on a bender my

personality has gotten exponentially worse but my body looks good like that's really all that matters really good um no i like got a little too i got a little too sh but my body looks good. It looks really good. No, I like got a little too, I got a little too Shrek. My body type was like a little too Shrek. So I was like, let's go in a different direction. And now I'm trying to get, I'm like, so I was like, got to monetize everything. So I was like doing Weight Watchers. And then I just, now I'm like the face of Weight Watchers. Is that true?

Wait, is that true? Yeah. So you content marketed to get a deal with Weight Watchers? No, I actually just did it for real, which is weird because I had never worked with a brand that I actually cared about.

Like not one time. Like normally I was just like, whatever. Like I literally don't give a shit. Whatever you want, I'm down. I will ride. I'll promote. I do not care.

It's a CBD tampon company. I use them all the time. Like I'll say anything. I don't care. Flat tummy tea. Totally. Doesn't matter. Sugar bear hair.

You name it. Okay. Honestly. So like when i actually started using it and then got a meeting with them i was like this is weird i actually like use this this is weird that i would promote something i give a fuck about and it like wasn't that hard it was like kind of not that big of a deal so now hopefully i can get dick lines and start fucking men wait hold on so like i'm just gonna get really really micro here with you like you

started doing weight watchers like on your own. And so you're counting points in the morning and in the afternoon and at night. Pretty much. So how are you counting your rosé in there? I like a glass of rosé. Well, the thing is, yeah, well, you got to save up a little bit. Like rosé has some points. How many points? I think ours, like a can of ours probably has like three or four points, but that's not that many. That's not that bad. How many can you have a day? Depends on your body type. Okay me i can have like 37 but like for you it's like you'd probably have like 29 okay yeah so you were counting your points every day yeah i'm married to a woman and my wife's mom has like just the sickest body she's just like in her

fucking late 50s and she is just like she has like you know I love how he's talking about his wife mom she's kind of like she's still chopped in the face yeah and like her hair is just super dry like I just you have to change

like conditioners every six months or like your hair is going to build a bit of immunity she's been using the same conditioner for 37,000 years

so her hair has split ends but whatever her body is sick so I was like what is she doing and then she was like I do this shit and I was like

well this has been working for like since the beginning of time plus oprah i was gonna say honestly anything to just suck oprah's dick like metaphorically speaking totally yeah so like anything to get closer so i was like how can i get close to oprah right that's pretty much like how this kind of all that that was really the point so you actually lost all this weight from weight watchers there was no adderall involved no i mean like i've been doing no cocaine and no there was coke no no i've been counting points and there's coke okay i just i just want to know the whole diet coke has zero points across the board okay okay yeah no there have been days where i'm going like full i'm like i'm basically a serbian i'm a serbian model okay yeah. Totally. I just want to get the whole landscape.

You're like Jared of Subway, but minus the child. Jared. Minus the pedophilia. Right. Right. Because he lost all the weight and then they hired to be the face of Subway.

Right. That's right. Yeah. Minus the khakis. That guy loved a pair of khakis. What are you Googling over there? You know Jared of Subway. He was very large,

lost all the weight eating Subway, eating sandwiches, and then they hired him after. It's not Weight Watchers now. What is it? It's WW. Oh, WW.

Yes. They've like, they've gone. They rebranded? Oh, they rebranded. So now I get a chance to suck Oprah off. And now Oprah knows who I am.

Like Oprah watched, I guess Oprah had to like approve my content. So like Oprah watched it and they were like, we got to get the sign off from Oprah. Wait, why do I imagine a commercial of you and Oprah together? You guys did a commercial together. Didn't you? No, we did not do a commercial together i would there's nothing

that would be the top green screen it no i could have sworn there's they didn't splice you guys into the same commercial that i've seen of you you were getting a pedicure with madonna you know what i'm gonna fucking go yeah my u Yeah. My Uber's here. Yeah. Seriously. Madonna, excuse me. Yes. We need to do some better research here. So Madonna and I did a series of commercials for the Rosé and for her skincare line. Okay. Yes.

Do you use that to suck Madonna's dick simultaneously? I'm down. She gave me like some, she gave me like some like tools that they have that are like super futuristic Japanese that all look like anal probe dildos that you like rub onto your face and it like gets like lymphatic blood drainage or whatever moving. I'm obsessed. And it's $25,000. But the thing about that was, was that me and her then started hanging out because she

is fucking down. Like within like 10 minutes of meeting her, she was talking, she was like, and then I gave Dennis Rodman a handjob. And I was like, yes. And then she's got a wild. And then you dyed your hair like Dennis Rodman. No, so actually, that's funny you say that. So Dennis Rodman and I have been DMing.

And each month he's picking a different Dennis Rodman look for me. Like I have the, in the back of my head, there was a smiley face. Okay. You see that? He had the smiley. So he's picking my hair each month. Wow. Anyway, so she's like, within 10 minutes of meeting her, we're like going off.

Like we're full best friends. And I was like, this is crazy. Because like after someone is famous for 40 years, you figure they're going to be an actual psychopath that's like not from Earth. Who is a psychopath that you've met? Oh, there's so what? Give us like a little bit. Like give us all of them.

The end of that story, by the way, is that I then went to I was in Europe and went to Portugal and went to her house and slept over at her house. We just sleep over. Like we didn't sleep in the same room. Did you get a handjob like Dennis Rodman? No, I honestly. Did she give you a handjob and then leave the room after? You said she didn't sleep in the room,

but you didn't say yes or no. That's true. But you're forgetting one fact is that I can't get hard anymore. Yes. From Weight Watchers? You're forgetting one thing is that I cannot achieve. So we had a sleepover and I've talked about this before.

She, I was like, what do you want to do? And I was like, we should do sleepover stuff. And she was like, I'm completely down. And then I was like, can we make a prank phone call? And then she let me go through her phone and make a prank phone call. And then we called Bono. Wait, quick break, because let's be honest, a lot of us are in loungewear. Now, I've talked about Beta Brand many times, but this is even more relevant because loungewear is a huge thing right now. So if you're out of clean loungewear, like I am,

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A lot of us are doing video conference calls. I know I just got off a video conference call and to have a pant that is chic, stylish, and comfortable is just everything I need right now. So it's really the ideal situation. It's just like you're wearing yoga pants, but you look professional. All right. So right now, all Skinny Confidential, him and her listeners can get 25% off your first order when you go to beta brand.com slash skinny. That's 25% off your first order for a limited time at beta brand.com slash skinny. Find out why women are buying five

different pairs of these pants. You guys got to try it out. Go to beta brand.com slash skinny for 25% off. And like I said, grab said grab the black ones all right let's get back into the show you prank phone call bono yes what's that go like so bono didn't pick up then he called back later and then she just like let me talk to him so it wasn't so much a prank at that time because she picked up he knew it was her and then she was just like he wants to ask you some questions because she was like have you ever heard of him and he was like who the fuck is that like which by the way no shit and then i asked him if like he wears the purple um glasses in the shower and when he takes off the purple glasses does he have a beautiful day does he have smaller purple glasses underneath his purple glasses like i had

so many fucking questions and then i was just like this is so sick that we're having like an actual or having an actual fucking sleepover in terms of who's a psychopath i mean i don't really go a-list usually like i'm a give us a d-list i'm a z-list hoe i'm a z-list hoe give us a z-list because the thing about the a-listers are is that they're mad fucking born yeah guarded too yeah they're all not they all have pr in the room no this is this is see how there's no pr in the room listen i built this thing i did in town like listen if you want if they want to bring their pr they all have to cram in that tiny corner and stand there like this you're like lisa lisa other lisa all of you stand in this fucking caron lisa and barb because our thing is like you know you bring the pr in the room

we're still gonna ask the question it's gonna be super awkward when you just stare in the corner a de like even i mean i'll take a q list celebrity i just look look i've spent a lot of time with the new york housewives i knew you were gonna say that and like they are at the thing about them is that you hope that like when they turn off the camera, they're not going to be like, well, another great episode.

WB frog. Nothing worse. No. Like I'm going to just like, I'm going to go like, listen to NPR. They are fucking not. Okay.

Like they are, they are physically and mentally. All of them are unwell. Luann. Luann. She, I mean, she's one of our,

like nothing but respect for my president. Like she is one of our greatest actual treasures. Okay. She is like a full-blown treasure. I can't, she like texts me, but I'm not sure she knows she's texting me. And also, because she's like, honey, like, she can't get out of Cabaret at this point. Like, every text. She's like, what are you doing this weekend?

Is it going to be whimsical? And I'm like, who the fuck says whimsical? What are you doing this weekend is it gonna be whimsical and i'm like who the fuck says whimsical what are you saying did you see when um you know that episode when uh when sonia's dress like flew up and like so i took that video i was sitting in the front row took the video there were just like 8 000 gay men in the room shrieking and weeping and i was like this woman is doing the lord's work like this is some of the greatest showmanship i've ever seen what about ramona and she's like falling in the shrubs like in palm beach and like screaming at police officers. Ramona hates me. Why? Because every, I don't know, every time I see her, she's like, well, what's up with your hair? Why does your hair look like that?

Why do you look like that? Why are you talking about your penises? What is your thing? I don't understand. What's your thing? What are you doing? And I'm always like, you're, but she keeps it fucking real. Like she is exactly the fucking same. Does she blink? You know how she blinks? Yeah. No, that's what I'm saying. Like none of them are different. Like you know that when they're turning off the camera, some people are just like not that tight. Are you a Bethany fan? Because in life, you're either a Bethany fan or you're not.

I am. Bethany and I knew each other from really, really early on. So I interviewed them because I was on the E channel. I was on a show called The Daily Ten. And I interviewed them. I swear it must have been in the first few months of the show. What year was that? 2008?

Early, okay. Yeah, like early, early. And so I, and like, we really like hit it off because she's just like, you know, we're relatively talking about the same shit. She's got a foul mouth. Like she's done to talk about, like I could hit her at any time.

We could just talk about missionary anal with eye contact. Yeah, smart. Totally. The thing is, if you can get deep on the inside with the A-listers, like they're all into fucking weird shit. everybody's gay and doing really really chill shit but it's really fucking hard to get in on the inside and a lot of them don't trust me because

then they're like oh you're gonna go on a podcast and like you're all gonna drink a bunch of fucking rosé and like play with coconut oil and you're gonna tell the fucking story and they're not and they're not wrong but you could if anyone can penetrate the a-list literally figuratively it's you i feel like you like you could possibly get in with like a bad guy because you're a loose cannon which is what that's what we love that's what some of them want and then some of them are like oh no no no no you know what i think i think that they look at you as like the antithesis of everything that they want to be like they look at you and they're like my whole life has been so closed off and not vulnerable and like not been able to just be myself. And they look at you and it's like, they're probably intrigued.

I'm going to be honest. That's the best thing about the internet. Yeah, totally. It's the best thing about it. You can just like own every aspect of everything. So the internet's so tight. Imagine what Tom Cruise does behind doors. No, that's what I'm saying.

See, I'm trying to go to that level. That's the farthest level, by the way. That's what I'm saying. I'm trying to go into the spaceship. Mission impossible. I want to be sucked the way. That's what I'm saying. I'm trying to go into the spaceship. Mission impossible. I want to be sucked up into the spaceship. Holy shit.

I'll be the most full Scientologist. I don't care. You would? Yes. First of all, have you ever heard the brunch

at the Scientology Center? No. It's $20. Okay. And it's fucking sick. Yeah, but then they mail you stuff for the rest of your life. Honestly, it's worth

the $20 brunch. Really? I'm not even joking. I swear to God, like buttery, very, very flaky croissants. You can't drink no that you cannot do you cannot like turn the fuck up oh no i know i feel you i know i feel

you it's disgusting but also like the spread is like it's really really it's it's a very very sick we gotta check well i imagine it's a high class affair they got a lot of money in there people like tom cruise john travolta they got to be taken care of they're not gonna eat shit they only take care of the top of the top of the top. What happens to everybody else? There's nothing? No, they have like fucking, the fruit spread is killer. I'm not talking like honeydew, none of that shit. I would love to see a documentary where you go undercover

and like just explain Scientology to everyone. I would get butt fucked by Tom Cruise in order to get a good story. So would Michael, you would too. That's the level I would take it to, to get a good story. Michael would just get butt fucked by Tom Cruise like in general. Because you like Tom Cruise. Well, listen, Tom Cruise me all day. I mean, those movies can't argue with masterpieces.

Right, right. I mean, I don't know personally, I'm sure, but come on. You can't argue with greatness. Okay, so how did the fat Jew become the fat Jew? Oh, we just went on like that. Oh, right. Sorry, tangent. Somehow we ended up talking about having anal sex with Tom Cruise.

So I was just like, you know, an idiot of the internet. I used to do like a lot of shit for like for Vice and like TV stuff. And I was just like basically being a moron trying to make a scene, like just trying to like get people talking. That went on for a while. And then Instagram came around and that like became the platform, which at first I thought that Instagram was actually going to be like kind of a shitty platform for me because Lord Zuckerberg has like a bunch of rules. So I got kicked off like three times. And so then I held a protest outside their office, chained myself. You can watch it. I chained myself to their office and like my rabbi came and like all these, all these Muppets that I, cause I put it up on Twitter and was like, I'm having a rally, like come to the rally. And I said this before,

when you get a permit to have a rally in New York, you get, like, cops and barricades. Like, you get the full works if you apply for the permit. So, like, all these cops show up and they're like, yeah, I don't know. This guy, like, someone took his computer. Like, they don't understand why they're there. Meanwhile, like, actual crimes are being committed, like, throughout New York City. Like, people are, like, dying. Meanwhile, they're at my Instagram rally.

And 17 minutes later, they were just like, get this guy the fuck out of here. So, some girl was like, you're not on Instagram. And I was like and i was like no no i'm not like refresh your page and then she was like no you are and i was like oh no really i am so at first i was like wait this is bad for me because i was more like tumblery you know i was putting up like a photo of like a stiletto like jammed into a dick hole you know oh and i was like you guys love this right and they were all did we talk about e-bombs world last time i think we did talk about it we probably did i mean i am like a yeah my gross photo game is like i would put myself on the mount rushmore of like gross yeah you're not you will probably find yourself after this on the text list and you can never get off so if you're gonna go challenge accepted on this just know i'm in and

if you ever try to get off you get twice i let one girl off anyway this is a different thing but i have like a text list that i send out like the absolute worst photos you could possibly imagine like whatever you've seen it's far past give him tips on how to eat a butthole after birth oh yeah send me visuals in the text okay that's fine perfect that's better i'm a visual guy okay you're a visual learner yeah um so after that and once once i like sort of kind of worked out with zuckerberg and i was like wait a minute actually this is kind of better for me because i can expand out the age demographics of my audience because my audience from like the vice days and shit was like mostly like 20 something maniacs you know it was like college guys and like people in their 20s who were just like you know

smoking coke and like being crazy but then i was like wait a minute instagram gives me a chance to like probably now i have like eight-year-olds who come up to me and they're like you're not that funny anymore you know and like seven-year-old women like sloshing pino being like i love your me your memes you know with like really good rhinoplasty so i realized like wait a minute this is a chance to probably use this at first because at first i was like fuck the rules like why is why is overlord zuckerberg like trying to hold me down but then i was like this seems like a chance to go mainstream it kind of exploded from there like i was really just doing it for my fucking shitty friends and like a couple other people that like knew who i was in new york and then it just kind of like it just sort of exploded from there um and then it like became kind of overwhelming because i was like wait there are

like real people like actually looking at this i remember one time like brooke shields came up to me in the west village like put her hands over my eyes from behind but we've never met before and she was like guess who she was like she was so like midday litty and she was like guess who bitch and then i turned around i was like oh i would never have guessed that i like thought it was a girl that i went to jewish summer camp with named jessica and i turned around i was like what do you mean guess you're brooke shields we've never met and she was like i love your instagram i can live for your instagram and then that kind of like got into my head because i was like wait every time i post maybe like is broken like this what if brooke doesn't like this what if brooke

unfollows me? Because before, prior to that, there's like millions of people on there, but it doesn't feel, it doesn't actually feel like there's millions of people. It's just a number and you're just like throwing shit. When you go out, do people come up to you all the time? Yes, yes.

But it's like, the thing about it is, is like, it's actually like, it's funny because we were talking about A-list celebrities. Like when you see an A-list celebrity, like- You don't go up. No, it's like seeing a fucking exotic bird. You're like, oh my God, it's funny because we were talking about A-list celebrities. Like when you see an A-list celebrity. You don't go up. No. It's like seeing a fucking exotic bird. You're like, oh my God, there's George Clooney.

You're like, look at George Clooney. You talk in the softest, like you go full Anne Frank voice. And like no one can hear you. And you're like, oh my God, look. Oh my God, it's Bradley Cooper. And you don't do shit. In fact, you don't even, you basically don't talk. You're all mouthing at each other.

But I think when you're sort of a person on the internet and i mean you might experience this also like people feel connected to you they you're you're in their hand when they're pooping you're in their hand when they're you know it's more personal yes when they're breastfeeding and when they're at a funeral you know i mean times we're looking at instagram and they just they feel a connection you can't be that connected to someone through like a movie screen you just can't that's true you love them but you're not connected to them so like people are coming like not only are they not being like oh my god look it's fat you they're coming up to me and like some dude is like grabbing my dick being like what's up brother and i'm like okay all right hell yeah all right and honestly that's really cool like i'm really into that but you know

it's honestly with women it's great because like women guys do not know how to like they don't know here's the thing guys who come up to me are the worst because they get like super grabby you know which is fine like i'm down but bro we like kind of like yeah yeah they're just like get over here like you're fucking hilarious like like let's touch our dicks heads and then but he's like not hot and he's like from philly you know what i mean i'm not trying to like braid my dick together with his taylor was trying to do that to you when you walked in i would love to do a dick hollow with you, like a nice braid. You don't want the razor. Women though are worse.

By the way, I'm not saying this is like my celebrity issue. I'm just saying like on the Z-list, the issue with women is more that women do not care. Like I could be on the phone being like, mom died on the safari. And they'd be like, oh my God, I'm so annoying. I would never do this. But can I have a picture?

I'm so annoying. How annoying am I? And I'm like, my mom just died. My mom actually died. By the way, I'll take the picture of you. I've never turned someone down. I would never, I can't turn someone down for a picture because I'm not famous enough. Quick break. Let's change it up. We're going to talk about beat elite and workouts. So I know you guys are doing a lot of workouts at home. I can imagine. Trust me. I am too. I get it. And beat elite is there for you before your workout. So what this does is it helps extend endurance, improve energy and stamina, and promotes oxygen efficiency throughout your body.

So you can take it before your workout. It's super, super easy to use. So it's this pre-workout. It's a beet powder and it helps you fuel your body before your next workout. You could just add it to your smoothie or your water, ice water, a little lemon. It's delicious. And like I said, it's going to give you some energy, which we all need right now, especially since we're working out at home. It's made from high quality beets, which is all non-GMO. It's sourced in the USA. And basically it's going to increase nitric oxide production in your body, which is awesome and helps really improve your stamina and your energy. Some benefits of beets for you guys. They're an excellent source of antioxidants. They're full of vitamin C. And like I said, they give you energy, which we all want more energy. So like I said, we need this

in quarantine. It's awesome to put in your water, to put in your smoothie, whatever you want to do. And of course, Beat Elite is doing a code for all of our listeners so do what i did take your game to the next level with beat elite by going to alivehuman.com skinny and get 20 off your first purchase the team at human is making this offer exclusive to all skinny confidential him and her listeners only you won't find a deal like this anywhere else that's live h-u-m-a-n dot com slash skinny livehuman.com slash skinny with that let's get back into the show that's like the girl that when you sleep with them they say by the way i never do this i never have a one night stand

but i guess i'll make the exception and then she's taking anal missionary right exactly right they're like this is so annoying and would never happen in any universe but it's happening right now of course right now and i'm like well okay so that's like that can be a little intense but overall it's really uh it's really sick so from there basically i was like how long are people going to be interested in this for like how long are people going to be interested in like a guy with like fucking anal beads on his head with like who looks like shrek because like tastes are changing every two seconds and like things become hot you know if you're if you're like an A-lister like you can be famous for longer like if you're on the seat like your your your window is relatively short especially in like fun stuff I mean I'm not a comedian I've literally never been a fucking comedy club I

get put in that box because like that's just what is easy but for someone for people like you it's like a little more lifestyle-y in there but for like funny people like especially as you get older people are just like nope kids are like no absolutely not like this we hate this so tastes are changing like constantly we're all interested in things for like five seconds and i was like well i gotta take something like i gotta i have to create something that i can like that will have a sort of an evergreen presence but you did something different though because a lot of i mean there's a lot of those like i would say like meme accounts, but you made it about you.

Yeah. So I don't think you're that, you're not as expendable. No, that's true. Because a lot, and the other thing is a lot of these people who run these like meme accounts.

I don't know who the fuck they are. I don't know. There's no face. Let me tell you, I have met them and they are fucking, they are weird. None of them are funny.

They are like basically like basement dwellers who like live in their mom's basement. Girl with no job is amazing. I've met her before, but she's like a- You'd love her. She's like on the camera. We've met a couple times.

You should go on her show, The Morning Toast. I'm telling you. You guys would jive. Yeah, she, I think I looked at, I looked at her thing once and she was like in the bathtub, like screaming about Ramona Singer. So like your personality. Yeah, I guess relatively. Yeah.

Oh, I see what you're saying. Like you guys would jive i'm telling you but she has like a vibe she's like a person some of these like there are no there's like an admin who like runs it and they have like big offices they have like open con some of these are like things are like companies now they have like open concept soho lofts that are like sunsplash and people are just like clicking away on computers what does it rhyme with finding content oh you want like a name yeah what is there no there's many of them okay there's many of them but these people are like not funny like you meet them and you're like oh my god i think you're autistic like and not in like a cute special way like in a like what is how are you doing a thing like people think you're funny but they never then they're like hi what's up like i

run this page and i'm like holy shit like you got breastfed until you were 11 and so i try i don't consider myself that but at the same time even though i wasn't fused into it it's just like appetite for stuff like this is relatively short so i was like i gotta start a consumer brand because you know repping for the like doing brand work was i was into it but it just didn't seem like something that was going to last me forever so i wanted to like create something that would actually fucking last me. Okay, but how did you even think to team up with Babe Walker? Because her books were around before you had your meme account, right?

She's not a woman. I know. She's like a fake. It's like a fake thing. It's two Jewish men. Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. It's two like hot brothers.

Oh. Yeah. Okay. There's just like a tall, hot brother. So they created this like name, Babe Walker. How did you think to do that? Are you friends with the two guys? Yes, I know them.

I know them. So when they were on Twitter, I was on Twitter. And then we were all at a silent ashram in Toronto. Of course you were. No, no. No, we were not. We met in a jacuzzi. We were all in the same jacuzzi.

And I was just like, oh. And they were like, oh, you're the moron from Twitter. And then I was like, oh, and they were like, oh, you're the like moron from Twitter. And then I was like, yeah. And they were like, oh, we're from Twitter. But obviously I didn't recognize them because they were Jewish men and not Babe Walker, the socialite. People are like very upset when they find out that that is two Jewish men. People are like, Babe Walker is my fucking spirit animal.

And I'm like, you know, it's two Jewish guys. And they're like, are you? But they're like, fuck you. No, they're mad. They hate it. They're furious. So it felt like the right thing and uh i had the guys behind it i had written tv shows with and we wrote my book together there's a fat

you book that's pretty over the top and ridiculous but i like got blocked from being the new york times a seller list because i was like gaming the system and i was throwing raves called like um rave to read and if you came to the rave you got a book um you know what i'm pissed that we took so long for us to do this again because we we like, we're going through so much because there's literally so much that's happened since we, I looked at the date.

It was July of 2017 that we first spoke. Think about how many things you've done since then and that's what, now we're just like going through it so fast but you literally like

built a massive wine brand and sold it to Anheuser-Busch, right? Yeah, when we last talked. Before this even happened it was like you're going, there's, I mean there's a shitload that's happened. So many STDload that's happening you were talking about how you went on like a plane to

dubai and like people were paying you to it's just like yes so just imagine was that when i saw the ostrich yes yes bradley cooper the ostrich yeah so think about the time span that was fucking weird people are probably like what the fuck are they talking about it was an alpaca no it was an ostrich named bradley cooper yeah i'd like to meet a fucking alpaca. Alpacas are also not that expensive. Like you can buy one. But yeah, and it was this wasabi peas with Kanye West. That's right. That's exactly right.

Next time you come on, I'm going to address Taylor as an alpaca. So actually, okay, cute. That's some cosplay. Yeah. That's some definite cosplay. There's a huge marketplace for that. Okay. Like on the internet.

Men will pay you for that. So yeah, actually that was something I have gotten away from since I've been like doing the wine. Like the wine thing has grown so much since we last off it's wild because back then that what we were talking about was like back then was like people if you invited me somewhere at in my dms i would go this can happen fucking quinceanera there's just like less time because now like i do we basically sold the fuck out like we sold the company to anheuser-busch and now they like make me work they're like i'd like do things it's how long do you have to be working for them or with them i should say yeah uh it'll be like uh

it'll be like two to three years yeah but like we're already in it so you have like a scope of work that you have to complete or is it just like appearance well no now it's sick because now i i know i run like all the marketing so like when we like but it's what you should because yeah i mean now i have and now i have serious money so like but what's crazy is now we have like 70 employees and like people are like do we match on 401k and i'm like bitch i don't know do i look like the person to ask like the start of this company is a joke it was supposed to be like a troll that went completely wrong in all the right ways and but now i'm like i say things that i want to do because we have this marketing money and people actually do it and then i'm like oh no no no no no no no like i'm just saying shit i'm like we should just get a monster truck you know what i mean for

like no reason and we should like you know like i have all these wild ass ideas and then like all of a sudden like a woman who went to like an ivy league school comes in is like so i put together the monster i put together the monster truck program like you know like we're doing we're doing it we are we've like we've made babe branded plan b pills like for everyone in the country whatever any kind of shit that's coming out of my mouth and i'm like oh right you're like taking me seriously you have carte blanche or just do whatever you want in the marketing world or do you have pretty much for the most like for the most part i have to give you a compliment i refer to you all the time because as as a blogger i get so many packages

and i don't i don't say that as like like a brag i mean it's not a flex we get we get a lot of packages and to have something that stands out in this space is it's rare and even if it's like chanel like nail polish is like 800 like your packaging stands out more because you appeal to the ego yeah you personalize it did we send you was there a butt plug in there honestly no where the fuck's my butt plug tony? Those are like the, yeah, Tony. Hey, Tony. I would have put that in a flat lay on my feed. That would have been on the table with the. Yeah, love a butt plug in a flat lay.

Seriously. No one said that ever in the same sentence. No one ever. No one ever. I've said all those words, but not together in that sentence. No. And you do millennial pink. Like you just, you hit all the three things.

We're just like, we're fun. We're slutty. But you guys like all guys The amount of money That you spend on each box Is different than Like I said A Chanel 800 nail polish But I'm more inclined

To snap this And put this on my Instagram story Because it strokes The ego And it's personal It's millennial pink To give you a serious compliment

We actually do use This company And you as an example Of proper marketing All the time Because there's so many brands That are just They're just throwing Shit against the wall but it's true it's true do you guys want to go use the billboards the original billboards genius right oh those are like yeah the

billboards they've toned us down a little bit like i've a little bit but like we had we had the one in west hollywood that just said gay beer which was like huge and then we had the ones on the way to coachella we do one on the way to coachella like every year although actually i guess we should do one this year because there is no coachella like ghost town coachella billboards yeah yeah i should just like hire a doctor man with like glasses like some smart people who look smart dress emerata up as a doctor she's basically a doctor yeah yeah that was also genius to partner with her can you talk about that emily is uh she she, Emily got married to like my, basically like one of my closest friends from high school.

Like a complete like doofus that I've been hanging out with my whole life. And I like didn't know, like it did not, it was fast. Like I was looped in like with like two weeks before. Didn't you officiate the wedding? Yes, that's what I'm saying. This shit went down quickly. He locked in and. Totally totally i don't know what they were doing but then we like went to sushi they're like we're doing this and i was like what is happening and so guy obviously understood from his perspective because like i had met her before and she seemed super cool i mean

she's hot so she's not really my type you know i'm more of like a sort of into the four or five range like i'm sort of big rough hands and she kind of has more small soft hands it's not really my thing she has normal size calves which is like not my thing and so i was like oh okay this is happening fast but then it turned out that she was like ridiculously fucking smart had like way more to offer than just like being like i think that like being a model it comes naturally to her but she has weight she just has like a lot to fucking say and she's super fucking smart i'm not even just saying that because I would definitely shit on her. Like I am down.

And we became like basically suit, like really like actually super close friends. So that actually was the other one besides Weight Watchers that happened naturally. Like I'd like to say like, oh, as soon as like my friend like put his penis inside of her, I was like angling on her.

I was like, this will be perfect for the wine. Because like I am a Jew and I would. But I didn't even really think of that. And then later I was like, oh wait, this would be like, this will be perfect for the wine. Because like I am a Jew and I would. But I didn't even really think of that. And then later I was like, oh, wait, this would be fucking perfect. Because she has like really good ideas. So you partner with her. And now you're expanding the brand, expanding the brand. And then you sell to Anheuser.

Anheuser. How do you say it? I pronounce everything wrong. How do you say it? Anheuser. Anheuser. But like also whatever. Did they approach you?

I don't think anyone cares. Nobody's jumping in and like, it's Anheuser. Well, I pronounce it like. Nobody cares. It's fine. So do it's Anheuser. Well, I like. Nobody cares. It's fine. So do they approach you? Do you approach them? Was that the like strategic business move

the whole time? Did you know? Yes. You wanted to sell the business? Yes. Okay. They get me the fuck out. Did you have people like court you besides them?

Yeah. There were like wine companies. So I like made them. Like get drunk with all these different companies. Totally. Like made them do like all kinds of. I wanted to see like how far we could push this you know i was like hey like white guy in a suit another white guy so you guys should joust each other and then like tongue kiss like you want to buy this company and like some of them were more down

than others like there was some jousting less tongue kissing but uh eventually we kind of knew once once anna's rush came in we knew because they're like it's beer like we're trashy like that like the wine companies were like, they were cool. And like, we would have been, they didn't really understand us. You know what I mean? Because as much as like, because they're still wine. They want to like elevate it a little bit. It's not what it was.

They don't like, they got it. They were cool. They don't get 2020. No. They're like smelling their wine and shit and being like these oaky notes of leather and charcoal. And I was like, okay. Like, okay, French guy in little glasses. Like, relax. And no, honestly, no disrespect to like charcuterie because I love charcuterie. So do I. leather and charcoal and i was like okay like okay french guy in little glasses like relax and no

honestly no disrespect to like charcuterie because i love charcuterie so do i and like i rep for charcoots all day but anheuser-busch is like straight up we're talking like fucking we're talking trash and we want it to be like the fucking beer of wine yeah we wanted you to shock on this shit and then like make an absolutely horrible decision with your life like that was what we were going for and like the wine companies just like weren't really. So we like did ridiculous shit to them, but kind of knew the whole time that we were like just going to go with this. But here's the thing.

If you have a company, sell the fuck out. Because like you are not, you're not like Facebook. You know what I mean? You're not like, we weren't like changing the world with like a disruptive millennial like canned wine. It's just fucking good. And like, you know. Do you already have like the next business strategy in your head no i'm down although one thing i have been doing which has been weird is that since we sold the company i've been speaking

at like all these i've been speaking in all these business schools yeah they like invite me to come and that has been so fire i'd love to see like you and gary v on the stage that guy is like screaming all the time but like you guys would be so good today together i think i we've never met we've i'm surprised you guys have never met he just comes in hot he's like what's up bitch fuck you and i'm like right no totally feel you i totally feel you he's like what's up buy 5 000 baseball cards then sell them for a million dollars shut the fuck up and i'm like okay okay okay i'm down i mean seems great i think that a lot of like the kids seem inspired by him i see in his comments, people were like,

yo, I'm fucking with this. So I really would. So I've been going to like, I spoke at Harvard business school, like in like pink assless chaps, which so like for me, it's less about being like,

look, I'm speaking. Cause like, it's cool. But like they're, the kids are taking it seriously. When you speak, what do you actually like tell?

I mean, listen, like people reading between the lines, you obviously are a massive success story and it's, and it's not a linear path, but like when you actually are speaking, what are you telling them? We're talking about like,'s business stuff you know uh we're talking about like building an audience right and then give it like basically giving you like don't like creating consumer

products like not creating things that you actually like but for me at least is like creating things that the market wants you know what i mean like i'm not like a wine guy i did this because like i used my platform to be like hey what the fuck do you guys want and people were like we're like back then in like 2015 everyone was like we're fucking drinking rose like crazy we want to get fucked up but like i don't want to bring a bottle to you know like we just like basically we have that intimate connection with your audience it's so smart it's you you ask the audience and so many people just launch brands and they don't talk to the audience whoa it's getting drippy little stevia in there for that's really good lunch is that your lunch how many points is that that's my lunch that's how i'm getting the dick lines is that like a half point i could type it into the like my way watchers app yeah you should

just eat a handful of coconut oil yeah that's really good so the other thing is is that you need to clean up you just got a little freshie there it's a dual action thing or just rub it on yourself wipe it all over it all over my sternum. So we reverse engineered it. I basically was like, fuck it. If everybody's just like, here's what we want, then by the time it actually fucking comes out, they're going to buy it. Because they create it. We're a consumer first brand.

I'm not going to sit around in a room and try to figure out what the fuck people want. If you actually create a connection with your audience and they trust you, they're going to be like, here's what the fuck we want. Make it for me, clown man. And like i make it for you um and then you buy it it's like we're all doing good things for each other so i did it like that and so i've been talking a lot about that which is like because the thing is is that now and then after i spoke at harvard i basically was like look i'll do a shark tank type thing so you know i got all these like these all these shit bags like throwing money at me now like some like guy named like derek being like dog like we'll do a disruptive VC.

Here's money. And I'm like, all right, I'll flush my money down the toilet. I'm totally fine with that. Or I don't know, maybe it'll work. So now I'm like, after Harvard, I was like, I'm basically giving money away. Do you have an idea? Slide into my DMs. Let me hear your idea.

Maybe I'll just fucking fund you on the spot, like on some straight Shark Tank shit. You should do a show like Shark Tank, though. Yeah, it would really work so i got like 5 000 dms and the thing is people have really really bad ideas um there were a couple gems in there i just wanted to see if people were down but like two things i gleaned from it one which is that like motherfuckers are getting entrepreneurial as fuck like people want to do shit and it's inspiring like it's not just like people at soho house running like a cbd dog food brand like there are people who like whose parents started a trucking company and they work there and they're like, yo, I work at this trucking company, but it's dusty as fuck. Like we could make this better for 2020, whatever shit like that. It's not just people with these, but, but a lot of people have like

these brand ideas just aren't going to work. Cause they're like, not, they're not thinking about like what the marketplace needs. They're thinking about like what they like. One of my favorite books ever is by kat marnell i think we talked about this last time she's i want to know what you and kat marnell got into before her whole brand exploded because i love her i want her on the podcast i'm putting it out there in the ether she like rent well first of all she's like impossible to find now she'll text me like seven in the morning and she's like what's up bitch i'm in albania and i'm like why are you in albania why are you there? What are you doing?

And she's like, by herself, huh? No, totally. And also, she's constantly repping for a city that I've never heard. She's like, yo,

she's like, you need to come out to Tbilisi. It's so lit. And I'm like, Tbilisi. I'm Googling it. I'm like, oh, that's in Georgia,

the country. She's like, it's fucking nuts. The club scene is insane. Like, dudes are getting fisted. Like, everyone's smoking a drug

called Crocodile. They're like, well, whatever. And I'm like, what are you doing? What are you up to? I love it though. Cause she's like, just owns it. Totally. Totally.

She doesn't care. No, she's sending me a picture of a couch in Baku in Azerbaijan. Look at this, look at this woman's couch. And I'm like, it's nine o'clock in the morning. I haven't seen you in a year. Like that's it. No context. Just look at this couch.

What was your relationship before? Cause when I read her read her book you're like you guys were friends before either of you before yeah hit it she like i don't know ran away from home i think and so she like got off a bus like at the port authority and i just i was basically standing there you were there was that actually really the story i mean like essentially she like showed up like in a night club and we were just and i was like wow like you are from fucking she showed up like in a nightclub and we were just and I was like, wow, like you are from fucking. She showed up like in a nightclub, like in a juicy jumpsuit, like taking pills I had never heard of, you know, being like, you want a flanoxaline? And I was like, I guess. What is that for?

She's like, normally it's for when horses give birth. But I get super fucked up on it. And I'm like, oh, that sounds tight. And she, Michael, she's like 90 pounds and she's blonde. Beautiful. Beautiful. She's from, she's from space. One of the best writers I've like, oh, that sounds tight. And Michael, she's like 90 pounds and she's blonde. Beautiful. Beautiful. She's from space.

One of the best writers I've, like, she knows how to fucking talk to her audience. Her book really was fire. And like, she, people really like ride for her. They're not just like, no one's like, I've met very few people who are like, I like your book. Like, it's either people who are like, nah, I don't care about it. Or they're like, I will die for you, bitch. She has like a full-blown cult. Like an actual cult. I think Lauren's in that cult. Yeah, no. No, I will die for you bitch she's she has like a full-blown cult like an actual cult I think Lauren's in that cult

yeah no no I'm in the cult I love Kat Marnell yeah I would honestly I would get her if she wasn't in Carcania yeah like if she wasn't like

on Mars if she wasn't like eight countries away doing god knows what she's like you know in like she's like you know in like Southeast Russia you can just ride a horse

into a nightclub and I'm like no I didn't know that and then like and then I text her back and then she doesn't respond and I'm like that's it she'll like leave me i like that kind of friend though because then you don't get into this like text thread that's like back and forth it's like it's low maintenance but i guarantee that's a that's a text you open

and you like you look at it right away that's that's more when that one comes in you're in it she's entertaining and you get the text you text her back she doesn't respond for a week it's perfect she's just out there honestly like doing shit so she can write about it. Some people just write about it like they'll just come up within their imagination but she's like, I gotta live this shit. Okay, so tell us something

about Paris Hilton that we don't know because you did the documentary with her which we loved. Great transition, Lauren. Great transition. I'm gonna ask him about all the hot blondes.

I gotta ask him about Paris Hilton. So Paris and I went to high school together. Oh, you lived in LA? So she got kicked out. We went to high school together in New York. She was like drinking booze during a school play got thrown out and

moved and moved came came to la on brand right totally on brand she so paris is like basically and i said this in the documentary she really is like one of our greatest americans like she's my benjamin franklin she's like she's i think she might have invented this whole like she invented everything she really did it's all it's all because of her and she the thing i like about her which always i always felt connected to her on was that like for the most part i think people when they a thing that i hear a lot is like people i'm not even like sweating myself but people meet me they're like oh you're not like as stupid as i thought you were which i love they're just like oh you're you're lex you know you set the bar low and then you step right over it. It's my favorite thing to do.

Totally. So she's like the fucking queen of that. Like she knows what her audience wants. Like she could go on. I'm always like, why don't you do like a Forbes cover? She really could. She sold like $5 billion in fragrances.

But it's weird. America has a weird relationship with her because, you know, she's not so relevant in New York, right? We think of her as like a mid-aughts sort of staple. But like when she, when Paris gets, like seriously like when she when paris gets like seriously when she gets off the plane in whatever city cameron ellison going fucking

like yeah when she gets off the plane in like oman you know like straight up we're in like jordan people are like people are barfing out of their mouths and weeping weeping barf and so her like she is a fucking star over there but she's right she's like reluctant to talk about it she doesn't want to go on shit and be like i am super smart she gives people what they want people want paris being like yes and like that's what she gives them she doesn't feel the need because she is that and she doesn't feel the she's in on the joke the sliving her new sliving thing sliving is like sliving so i'm saying she's so fire she invented the entire ecosystem i showed it to the documentary do not ever in your whole life forget that that fucking

kim kim was organizing this bitch's closet kim was in charge of her shoes she made her like executive shoe organizer like that do not forget when kim looked like jafar from aladdin she was organizing pairs of shoes that is all you need to know which kardashian would you make a sex tape with if you had to pick one i say this is everyone yeah this is like all in am i trying to get press or is this about the sex i would go for chris if i were you no no that's the right answer yeah that's always the right answer yeah chris and cory it's chris and cory together it's a three-way. It's like a three-way. Bring your branded butt plug. You know, actually, you know what was interesting

was that, and I like her a lot, was that I was at like a thing and you know what's funny is that like a lot of times like they, I've met all of them. Like Kim is like super scared of me.

Like whenever she sees me, she's always like, hey, but she's like backing up, you know? She's just basically beep, beep, beep. She's just like this fucking guy.

She's not a big drinker. No, she's like not really turning up. Some of them like go really hard. So no names. But what's funny about them is that like when you hang out with them and it's cool, like they talk as if you don't know who they are or you don't. So like you'll be talking to them and like, you know, like I was chatting with one of them and they're like, what are you doing tonight?

And I was like, I don't know. And she was like, well, we're all going to go out. And I was like, cool. And she was like, yeah, I never really go out out but i really want to go out because like you know my sister just broke up with her boyfriend it's like a whole you know and i was like okay bitch are you talking about chloe and lamar like don't hit me with this my sister just broke up with her boyfriend shit you know what i mean being like you know how that is so we gotta like ride for her but like my sister i'm like no. I know. It was fucking front page news.

I understand. Yes. The whole country knows. The world knows. Everybody knows. And I appreciate like, I appreciate the down to earthness, but there's got to be a better way. Because it like freaks out.

And they'll be like, do you remember me? And I'm like, yes, bitch. I remember you. You're literally like, what? They'll be like, Fat Ju, what's up? Do you remember me? And I'm like. You're like, can you pose a story?

I'm like, there's no way in any universe that I don't remember you. Like, do you remember me? Like, that's the real question here. Like, what you pose a story? I'm like, there's no way in any universe that I don't remember you. Like, do you remember me? Like, that's the real question here. Like, what the actual fuck? So it's cool that they're like being down to earth, but it'll definitely freak you out. So Michael and I were sitting on the couch on a lazy Sunday, you know, did nothing all day. And we decided to turn on this movie called Uncut Gems. And we're fucking watching it.

And just, you know, it's a great movie. All of a sudden, you're in this random scene with yamacon and a living room yeah what's happening i wanted more from you i wanted you to be in it longer yeah i saw no i have a way longer scene but the movie was like four hours long and they had to like cut it down so like there's there's like can i say that movie stressed me out the whole time it was fucking amazing it is amazing but it stressed me out it was like it was a constant the guy was just like i loved it horny guy just like he's back. Just like was missing, but here he is. Good Times, the Safdie Brothers.

He got off Facebook Marketplace. You need to see the Safdie Brothers other movie called Good Times with Robert Pattinson. It's amazing too. Good Times is crazy. You do have a good news to tell us. Let me tell you something about this guy behind you. At our wedding, he pissed himself at the wedding, told Lauren she was a beast, went on his, his answer to being like, oh shit, I pissed myself on this and, you know, ate a wet enchilada off my dad's plate

and then went to the strip club and his idea to dry off was to swing around the strip club. Like an air dry. Yeah. Like an air dry. That's nice.

Wait, what strip club? I honestly don't remember. I was along for the ride. I was a mere passenger. When I built this studio, you see how that, there's a giant wall behind it.

It's usually glass where you could see. Right. I had to put. No, you were just like, totally. Tuck him back.

If any of you listening ever need a strip club food recommendation, please DM me. That's like, that's my specialty. Food. I have eaten at probably 500 strip clubs across America. Does the Rhino have food? In LA? At Las Vegas. So the one in Vegas does, but it's like not, it's not like, it's not that killer.

Like, that's the thing. Vegas, like, they don't do food right. Like, if you really, because a lot of places get super gourmet now used to be like fucking wings and fucking fry you know like it was just like strip club food like nachos and shit but now places are getting super fucking like super gourmet like you can get a nice like spring pea risotto with like a you know like a chilean sea bass with like a a nice gazpacho like a summer gazpacho they have like a chef come out and be like, how are you?

Like, thank you so much for coming. And I'm like, what the fuck? I'm like, you have an executive chef? Like the woman behind me has a C-section scar and like is dancing like while vaping on stage. Her child is sitting like watching, her other kid. Taylor would love recommendations, but Taylor tends to go for Mexico.

But also back to Uncut Gems, because we, he plays over there. Okay, so actually, so the guy, my friend Sebo, who married Amrata, he's like one of the executive producers of that movie. Their company made that movie. And we are – I'm like super close with one of the Safdie brothers. He's like one of my better friends. It's an amazing movie. Which is funny.

It's actually interesting. People are shocked that we know – because they're like kind of highbrow. Like they're like filmmakers, like love them. And I'm like a complete moron. So people are always like how do these people know each other so it actually the relationship has ended up being really funny because like no one knows what the fuck is going like no one understands but we are hanging out like all the time their movies are just so fucking stressful i actually see you being a lot of movies in the future you think so yeah i mean i've been in like a lot of

like weird teen movies no i'm gonna call i mean well because like here's the thing like you did the social thing you built a massive business sold it now it's like that's the next thing like what else you i mean well you tell me what's the next like what the fuck should i be doing i'm gonna tell you what i'd like to see from you okay okay movies i'd love skincare okay great no one would see that coming like like i'd love like a hot pink mask or like interesting like i could use like a butt mask or after you get pregnant you need like a stomach max a tit mask i'd love like a hot pink mask or like interesting like I could use like a butt mask or after you get pregnant you need like a stomach max a tit mask I'd love like something with skin from you does anyone do tit masks right oh but white space I've got a movie pitch for you you okay you go undercover you're a secret agent and you go to other countries and you have missions

but yet you're yourself and it's you know what I mean it's like no we don't know what you can do there it's like mr bean no one in here but you what was it johnny like mr here's what we're gonna do let's get an eight ball coke we're gonna get a fuck and we'll get a room out by lax at like a comfort inn and we're gonna write this script in two days like by friday we will have a full script for this are you in massive bed bugs bitten you're in okay oh count me in you have bed bugs oh that's why you have those bumps all over your dick no it's not it wasn't razor burn it was actually in your dick lines that explains it the thing is is like i'm whatever i do next i'm just trying to do something that's completely off the nose that's why wine was funny because everybody was like like that's

why i don't i don't really do things anymore that anyone would expect that's why like when they i was but why made a shitload of sense because you were just always chugging wine running around the way he did wine didn't like it the way he did wine wasn't like the like what's that what's the person called the wine person a sommelier a sommelier it wasn't like a sommelier like he didn't have a fucking pin on his shirt but it was also like they want it wasn't like we went like i did it like a little cleaner and like more a little bit more tasteful than i think people would expect it. Like, I bet there's a lot of Somalias that are pissed off. Yeah. I actually definitely like some shit bag with glasses being like,

Oh my being like doing like a spit take. What is this? This fucking swill. Um, and, but actually, you know what I, recently I went to Mexico city and I went to the restaurant and they had a

mole, like the chocolate sauce. They had a mole Somalia and he had like this restaurant and they had a mole like the chocolate sauce they had a mole sommelier and he had like a super long spoon it was like two it was like a foot long and he would like

put a tiny bit of mole on the end it was like a tiny little spoon at the end and he would like pop it into your mouth and be like let it like

let it brush against your palate like that is a 200 year old and I was like this is so fucking stupid here's the move you move out to Napa and you actually create like a whole exhibit of Babe Rose. Like, I want to go and taste all the stuff and like swish the glass.

Napa's not ready. Yeah, for that. Yeah. Move right next door. You have slides. You have another weird idea. Into pools. And it's fucking wild because Napa's boring.

Let me tell you something. Right. Napa's fucking boring. Well, I mean, there are like. It is, but it's not. There are like Susan's and Karen's getting fucking completely lit but like park right but it's not yeah it's not lit enough i've known this guy back there since he was 12 years old keep him around because these the all these ideas are dead fucking serious everyone's being a loser yeah it's not like a

it's dead serious no he's on therapy no but he i mean well you're not no no definitely not definitely not while we're at it he would let the trauma really fester breastfed till 11 he's still breastfeeding um i would love for you to round out this podcast with some advice for him so he came on our podcast a couple of times and he has an issue okay where he comes in a minute or less or did edging helped a lot so edging helped yeah but we need a little bit more advice because i'm going to say edging only took him to a minute. Or less. Well, dude, edging helped a lot. So edging helped, but we need a little bit more advice because I'm going to say edging only took him

to a minute and a half, which still isn't satisfying anyone. Here's what I want you to do. When you feel like, when you're feeling things inside your body, right,

when you're feeling stuff, not like when you're about to come, but when you're sort of like, kind of on the, when you're on the way up on the roller coaster

and you can feel the fact that you're rising before you drop in, I know, before you drop in. I want you to think about this. I want you to think about Steve Buscemi. Okay? Think about Steve Buscemi's mouth, alright? Really think about his teeth. Think about the humidity of his breath. And he's licking. He opens, he peels back the foil of a large, large container of Chobani.

Now, the Chobani aluminum, whatever that is, has a thin film of yogurt on it. Now, in super duper slow motion, you fucking pervert, he licks it. And he's just licking it from top to bottom. Now, if that doesn't make you not cum, then you're like really, really more unwell than I thought. But what I was going to say is ultimately what's going to happen is I'd be thinking of that and it would still happen. He didn't even digest that. You don't think that...

He didn't even digest that. He just went right in. I don't understand. You don't think that that would prevent you from jizzing? Well, because I mean, I've read online where they're like, oh, think of something gross. Like, think of like you're having sex with your nana. And I'm like...

No, no. He just described Steve Buscemi's humid teeth in a Chobani wrapper? Dude, I would jam my tongue so far in my fucking Nona's ass before I would ever want to think about Steve Buscemi's funky ass mouth licking a Chobani lid.

Those aren't even on the same level. I get it. Like, fuck your grandma. It's really like, whatever. But like, no way. Are you Googling Buscemi's mouth back there he's jacking off to Steve Buscemi

right now this is the first time that's what happened here is I walked in he actually like is a full Buscemi the first time on this episode

that I realized there's pink handcuffs fuzzy handcuffs well I want any advice from you guys real quick so I found a a doctor

or he found me actually I met him on the set of Dr. Oz okay because Dr. Oz has this like weird like fascination with me okay where he's like bring him on he's a medical freak like. Okay. Because Dr. Oz has this weird fascination with me. Okay. Where he's like, bring him on. He's a medical freak. I don't know. He's just like,

what will you do? He's like, will you eat this crayon? And then I can tell the crowd, you shouldn't eat crayons. I go on and I meet this Persian plastic surgeon. And he's like, baby, baby, baby. I mean, he's a known guy. I Googled him. So he's telling me that he can make incisions in my chest that are about, I don't even know, a quarter of an inch. Like really small incisions in my chest. He can then give me breast implants that are made from saline. He can give me like a nice tasteful C cup. I mean that's what I prefer.

I want something nice and sort of tasteful. Go under the muscle. And then the saline will dissolve back into my body in one month. So they're temporary breasts. He is telling me that he can totally do this. He's like, baby, great for content. He's like, content is king. You know it is.

The problem with that, though, if you do that, your tits, when it's dissolved, will hang. It's like breastfeeding. Your tits fill up with milk. Really? And then when the milk goes away, the tits hang down. It's not just going to go into my body? He said it goes into my body. It is going to go into your body, but your tits have expanded, so the skin's going to hang. it's not just gonna like go into my body he said it goes into my body it is gonna go into your body but your tits have expanded so the skin's gonna hang it's like being

pregnant fuck sounds kind of sick yeah but maybe why don't you get ball implants and and like show us the content right like gigantic right like humongous balls yeah yeah that's more strategic botox so they're like smooth like and then it's Fuck the tit mask Make a ball mask Make a nice ball mask Nobody makes a ball mask Everyone needs a ball mask Your balls You have some fine lines and wrinkles

You could use a ball mask Honestly I'm in for either option you choose Like if you want to do the balls You would go with either? Balls look horrible Balls look like they've been walking into the wind Like they look horrible They're so wrinkled

They look like Yeah they look like your grandfather's hands They don't get better either Someone needs to help with the ball area No they look like Honestly they look horrible they're so wrinkled they look like yeah they look like your grandfather's hands they don't get better someone needs to help with the ball area no they look like honestly they look like the hands of a Korean

war veteran and Taylor has like red warts all over them no fuck that I do not really? not warts no not warts

not warts you know what the fuck he's gonna edit that what's the medical term? you know what we have no control over this guy since he's a producer he's gonna edit that out

that's a shame right he's in control he's gonna edit that out I know he's gonna edit that right no it's true that the ball sack is a very it's it's a disgusting thing yeah it's not attractive balls are not cute that's why i was thinking if i got botox pumped into my balls you could get them completely you could remove all wrinkles and they could be smooth like two like you know what i mean like two like two heirloom tomatoes so down for that yeah just like perfectly glazed and smooth. That would be incredible. Can you give us a beauty tip before you go?

One, do you use an eye cream? No moisturizer that you're using? No, I use some Mario Badescu. Oh, okay. I have some Badescu up in this bitch. That's pretty good. Yeah, it's like kind of good. Wow.

It's like kind of good. Actually, one beauty thing that I have actually is I've been into anal bleaching, which I did as a joke because I made my intern go and do it with me because he like really he wasn't my intern at the time. He really wanted the job. And like you think I made the fucking people wanted to buy the company, do horrible things like the things we do to interns. Although now it's like I have to get them to sign NDAs because it's like, you know, it's just harder than it used to be.

But I made him go. I was like, if you really want this job, you will get anal bleach with me. Like I want our buttholes to be burrata white. So we went. And then I did it. And I was like, wait a minute, my butthole looks kind of cute. Like, I was all up in the mirror, like, scoping my own anus. And I wasn't even, like, going on spring break to Cabo or whatever.

Like, whatever people normally bleach their anuses for. But then I got really into it. So now my butthole is gleaming. It looks much better than the rest of me. Should girls bleach their butthole? I don't think that you have to. I actually think it made me feel really good. I think that sometimes women would be like,

well, I got to bleach my butthole instead of like someone opens up my butt. See, I'm down. Girl, I'm down with your dark ass butthole. Like I'm down with your butthole being dank and dark because like everyone's got a dank, dark butthole. I don't care. Right.

That's what I'm saying. I do not care. I wouldn't discriminate buttholes. I'm not like going around and be like, what? Right. Actually. Here's what I'm saying, ladies. I ain't going to slow me down. You don like going around and be like, what? Right. Actually, here's what I'm saying, ladies.

I think you're going to slow me down. You don't bleach your butthole for him. You bleach your butthole for you. Yeah. You bleach it for you, okay? Go off. Like, don't do it. Work that into the Harvard.

That's what I'm saying. Maybe you should do a butthole bleach as your next product. Right, like an in-home. Because I don't think people really understand. Millennial pink. You know what?

Actually, how fire would be if you went and did like a super serious business talk at Harvard about like how to sell a massive wine company and then you ended it with that? Totally. I mean, here's the thing. So every time I go and do one of these business school talks, I have like milestones on one hand. So we'll be like flying there or whatever.

And I'll be like, what should I like? What can I work in this time? Like, what do you think no one's ever said at Yale Business School? And I don't know. So we were wondering how many times I could get hand job into my talk at Yale Business, because like how many times can you get hand job into a business talk without it being ridiculous? I was able to get in there seven times.

I said hand job at Yale Business School seven times. So give me a context. Like I had these, I had like Miller and Coors and Anheuser. Right, yes. And like I was saying like which one of you guys? Right, who wants to give me a hand job? I was talking about how like when you sell alcohol, there are like distributors, which is like a big part of it like you can't just sell

like alcohol directly to consumers so like the distributors you're constantly just jerking them off and giving them handjobs like my wrists are exhausted from getting these guys to like take the fucking product and then but the nice part was was that the week before the speaker was john kerry and apparently he had said handjobs less times than me because he's a how not surprised he would never so like i don't know dm me like i'm down i'll i'll fucking fund your business and honestly now that i have a little bit i'm starting to have like a little bit more time back so my whole like i'll do anything you invite me to thing is like kind of back on the table invite them guys like if you invite me as

long as it's like not a bunch of finance guys because i used to have like a lot of finance guys right be like fly on the jet with us we'll go to vegas and i'm like that's boring what was the last party there was a party that happened that you did in new york and we missed it by like a day i was pissing her which one the pink the pink yacht or something yeah oh my god the boat oh the boat we missed it by a day because he's like the boat was completely out of control um first of all so you learn dorinda dorinda basically favorite i fucking i fuck for dorinda i love dorinda so dorinda and i have dorinda and i have hung out several times and like she is just like she's good she cannot stop going off like she just can't she showed like her tits to the coat

like so a coast guard boat like kind of came up and we were like wait are they gonna like pull us over because like the boat was we were like we were basically on like a boat in the middle of the hudson river like a floating wasn't like like the boat was, we were like, we were basically on like a boat in the middle of the Hudson River, like a floating, it wasn't like a yacht. It was like a floating dusty casino boat. It was like, it was not fire. But we could basically just like, you could barf wherever. And so the Coast Guard started rolling up and she was like, oh, they look hot. And then just showed her tits.

And I was like, honestly, you are, you should live in the Smithsonian. Precious gem. No, you're a national treasure. Like protect Dorinda medley at all at actual all costs and i got she invited me to go to great barrington and i couldn't go so i'm like down angling to get an invite this summer to like whatever it's called dorinda no like seriously trying to have this i'm trying to have another sleepover me her and john modessian invite madonna where can everyone find you what's your instagram pip yourself out not that everyone

already doesn't follow you and tell us about where they can find you what's your Instagram pip yourself out not that everyone already doesn't follow you and tell us about where they can find your wine my Instagram is the fat Jewish do you guys

follow the TSA on Instagram like the security agency follow the TSA their Instagram is so fire because they basically

show you everything that people are trying to get onto a plane because people do not understand what they can and can't bring

on planes like they're confiscating the actual they're like you can't bring on planes. Like they're confiscating the actual, they're like you, you can't. Is this true? Yes.

They're like you cannot bring, you cannot like, you just, you cannot bring a whole cooked turkey and nunchucks. Like it just, you can't bring, you cannot bring these things on the plane

and they confiscate them and then they put them on the Instagram. Anyway, my Instagram is the fat Jewish. My, yeah, no, like,

oh, you just brought, oh, you thought you could bring a handgun on the plane? You cannot. Also, if you need to know thought you could bring a handgun on the plane you cannot also if you need to know what you can bring on a plane

you can just tweet at them like I tweeted them and was like can I bring a what is that it's a ninja star made of machetes hey it's a brister bell but ninja star really

that ain't gonna fly that was in the first six photos they're pretty funny too that ain't gonna fly you don't bring a ham sandwich either it literally says do you manage their social media don't bring a ham sandwich

no I just found their Instagram and was like this is popping as fuck do you think Taylor can edge in the bathroom look at these things yeah yes what the fuck is that what is that they're like nunchuck sickles yes those are sickle nunchucks and guys you you literally can't bring shampoo and conditioner on the plane why did you think you could bring sickle nunchucks like that's not gonna happen or vermont maple syrup you know what this is actually maybe one of the better accounts that That's what I'm saying. It's an amazing follow. So what I did when Michael was like,

I was, I was trying to, this is really like a hot tip for all the girls that like want to fuck with their husbands. Like one night at 3am, I took his phone and followed a hundred different Chihuahua accounts. Here's the deal. Now for the rest of his life,

all that populates every single one of his social platforms is Chihuahuas. It is fucking amazing. Hot tip. hot tip very well all he gets served now is chihuahuas no that's it you're like you're done it's over for every time a new account starts like you might be interested in this and it's like a chihuahua with one leg lord zuckerberg no like now that's what he thinks that that's all that you and i say chihuahua chihuahua chihuahua chihuahua just constantly screaming his phone he loves chihuahuas around his phone. Steve Buscemi, yogurt, anal beads. You're gonna get served the craziest shit.

You're gonna get the craziest ads later. My thing is the fat Jewish. You can prank call my dad, 917-734-8402. That's my dad's phone number. You can call him. He'll be a dick to you. He'll be a dick to you. I've done this before and he's like not, he doesn't think it's funny. you can call him he's uh he'll be a dick to you he'll be a dick to you i've done this before and he's like not he doesn't think it's funny you can call him up you can

scream on him like preferably late at night when you're hammered whatever call him up um and what else yeah babe like the wine you can find like pretty much in any store like you can go literally distributions off the chain now now that we have like anheuser-busch we're like fucking like premier shelf space red with bubbles is really, really good. I wouldn't reach for this one first, but it's really good. It was good. It's like 13%. This is like Dorinda.

You don't think it's the one, but then you try it and you're like, this is the Dorinda. You got to remember with these cans, like three of these cans is a bottle of wine, like high volume. So like people are getting smacked. Like my mom drank like six of them at Thanksgiving and then like basically ended up telling me about how she like fucked. You know what I was going to say? I was like, God, that feels like stronger than just like a beer. Yeah, it gets you buzzed.

Yeah, no, it's like full. It's like full 13% carbonation, too. Thank you for coming on. Come back anytime. I miss you already. You're amazing. Guys pisses me off that it took this long. Wait, did you say Shel Silverstein, the writer?

Yeah, my mom fucked Shel Silverstein. You didn't see that in his bio that's my instagram bio because i'm that proud of it yeah that's what i'm saying my mom got drunk at thanksgiving off she drank six babes because they're small they're like red bull size if you've never seen one and they have full out so you drink three of them they're like you could slam them easy and then all of a sudden you're like oh wait a minute so she had six which was two bottles of wine and then she was and then i was like so we were talking about something she was like oh like you don't think i'm cool probably but like let me tell you something i'm fucking cool and i was like oh

yeah are you cool because like as you become an adult your parents like start to be down to like tell you about like exploits of the past like once you're like i found that once i got over 30 my parents were like let me tell you what i used to do because you think your parents were like not doing anything and she was like i used to be cool like i fucked shell silverstein and i was like wait wait wait what no my parents kept that from me but now they're just like any honestly one sip of like one sip of margarita or six babes later and she's like i like so i wish shel silverstein was my dad i'm pissed i've called my dad before and been like why aren't you fucking shel silverstein

you should be here's how i drink babe in an uber with a paper straw. Like a pixie straw. Yeah. It's the best. Freezing cold from the fridge. First of all, cute. I have questions about your content. I have content questions. We were like rapping, but we didn't get to any of my questions. It's pink.

It's on brand. Listen, we have time unless you got to go. No, your content, you're ripping at all times. I'll take it from you. You are shredding content. I will take it from you. Oh my God. In the words of like horny producer guy

at the wedding you are a beast i go please don't put any of that up and then like next thing i know it's out everything's out there no i don't care what you say you're just like like literally like i'm sitting there i'm like you know i'm like and it's just it's just out there the world just like you know yeah it's like every single she doesn't give a shit no i don't give a shit you are fucking shredding and honestly i'll take it from you you're just like, guys, here's a 172 step skincare routine. And I'm like, how could there be 172 steps? And then by step 90, I'm like, wait, I understand she's rubbing motor oil on her face, but her skin looks better.

This is why you need a butthole cream. That definitely, there are some open lanes here. There are some things that probably me and you could probably do a thing. You know what I said? I was like, listen, I was like, I think there's like some, there's like something going on between here and like normally I'd be like, what's this guy watching all the time?

But like between you two, I'm in. What are you in for? All we want is your money. Right, totally. Good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No one cares about anything. Just give us your money.

Honestly, you're a money guy. Yeah. Okay, that's fine. Okay. You're down on that one. Listen, I'm not going to debate it. Fine. Right.

Can we use Taylor's butthole for the ad this is the this is a it's a this is good where do you land on baby content

I know feel you it's not no one wants to see your baby too much she's here and there it's not a lot yeah no I don't see it

like that at all some people are just like leaning no no no I don't the baby doesn't need to be shown a lot here and there.

I will say this. I took a child that I knew. I mean, my friend's child. Not like a child that I just met. But, and I put him, I bought, I was like, yo, can I do some content with your kid? And I put him on a giant fucking piece of bread. Like a giant loaf. And with like lettuce, tomato, and onion.

And then I pretended to eat him like a sandwich. Crushed. Baby content can fucking crush it just has to be done right no that's the thing because some people like i don't think people are exploiting their babies hard enough they're doing it like on some like buy these diapers or like buy this like no they're vanna whiting it i can't with the vanna white it's like i know they're like buy these like non-toxic like one of the slogans for woo is eat it lick it suck it fuck it like that's one of the things and it's just like should we get the baby that swashes it like

i think i don't know i'm getting my baby a sweater that says that shit yeah why no because it's honestly don't be so all the baby content is like a gender fluid like non-toxic like i mean listen the reason i asked it because we got you know there was like a bassinet our friend created it's a beautiful bassinet and like the internet went fucking ballistic thinking that we were going to leave the baby and it was going to die in this bassinet and it's like crazy and i was like if we put a if we put a if we put a sweatshirt about like eat it lick it suck it fuck it with a six week old like we're probably going to get even like it's probably gonna be a little bit crazier definitely idc but idc it probably would okay really quick it'll pop it'll pop it'll pop content's kick

questions what's your favorite book website or podcast about preventative skincare what's our name one podcast about preventative skincare like breaking beauty glossier like what's like she's looking for you to say she's looking literally i'm saying i'm saying the skinny confidential yeah yeah yeah the skinny confidential by the way no that's not even a lie okay you are the only you're the only like you're the only one you watch a 73 step skincare for i will watch a full-blown 397 step skincare routine that you are putting up i'm gonna show how to wax my butthole on stories and and like just for you your dashes your little dot your dashes on the story are so fucking small it basically becomes one solid but i don't want to be that annoying person that sounds like but the thing is you're really like you're ripping the content yeah but

the dashes i don't love that honestly so much actually you actually have charcuterie like i've seen wild charcuterie i've seen wild ass charcuterie on your shit i'm into that you see that to me is like i can't really like my fetishes have gotten super specific that i can jerk off not that i'm jerking off your instagram but like really nice charcuterie boards. Yeah, hey, look, whatever you're doing. Totally. We're not going to stop you. Thank you so much for coming on and blessing us with your Kim Kardashian cry face jacket

and your yellow hair. We really appreciate it. Everyone follow him on Instagram at thefatjew. And at, what's the wine? The wine is at drinkbabe. At drinkbabe. Down for it. Thanks for coming on.

Miss you. Love you. As promised, we have a code for you. At Drink Babe. Down for it. Thanks for coming on. Miss you. Love you. I mean it. As promised, we have a code for you. DrinkBabe.net. You get 20% off the entire site with the code BABEDOESSKINNY. All caps. BABEDOESSKINNY.

DrinkBabe.net. You guys get the canned rosé. Get a pixie straw. You will be so happy. Set yourself up with canned rosé in your fridge. It's so cute that's drinkbabe.net 20% off the entire site with the code babe does skinny and then also wanted to shout out the nurses boxes that the skinny confidential team is doing we are putting

together boxes that are pink they're full of beauty they're full of skin they're full of tons of fun stuff for everyone who is a listener and who is a nurse. So if you are a nurse or you know a nurse that is a listener, please tag them or yourself on my latest Instagram at the Skinny Confidential. This is not a giveaway. This is just something me and my team want to do for a bunch of different nurses. So let us know if you're a nurse. We're going to pick a bunch of people.

Like I said, you can expect these boxes to go out though in the next two months, just because everything that's going on, but the boxes are cute. They're filled with fun stuff. And with that, we will see you on Thursday with a solo episode. I'm doing a five to 10 minute episode by myself, all about how I start my day. All right, guys, thanks for listening and make sure you rate and review the podcast on iTunes.