The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - The Truth About Addiction & Recovery: Juliet Warner On Relapse, Sobriety & Finding The Strength To Start Again

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

#1,006: Join us as we sit down with Juliet Warner – entrepreneur, creator, and mother of four who shares openly about recovery, faith, marriage, motherhood, and personal reinvention. After nearly a decade sober, Juliet relapsed – despite having built what outwardly looked like a stable, successful life. She got sober again at 38 and began rebuilding from the inside out, focusing on accountability, spiritual discipline, and daily structure. In this episode, Juliet gets candid about the realities of addiction and what it takes to maintain sobriety through different seasons of life. She shares practical lessons on recognizing triggers, creating structure, asking for help, taking accountability, and navigating relapse without letting it define you. She also opens up about the role of faith, family, motherhood, and community in her recovery – and how to build a life that supports long-term sobriety. Most importantly, Juliet shares why recovery isn't about perfection, but about continuing to choose yourself and get back up.   If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse or experiencing a mental health crisis, text or call 988 to reach the 24-hour Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Visit https://988lifeline.org to learn more.    For Detailed Show Notes visit TheBossticks.com   To connect with Juliet Warner click HERE   To connect with Lauryn Bosstick click HERE   To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE   Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE   Head to our ShopMy page HERE and LTK page HERE to find all of the products mentioned in each episode.   Join us for Dear Media by Day in Austin, TX on September 26th. Get your tickets now at http://dearmedia.com/events.   This episode is sponsored by Function Health Join at http://functionhealth.com/SKINNY and use code SKINNY25 for a $25 credit.   This episode is sponsored by Branch Basics Branch Basics is available at Target, Target.com, Amazon, and BranchBasics.com. And now our community can get 15% off SITEWIDE at http://BranchBasics.com with code SKINNY.   This episode is sponsored by Ritual Don't settle for less than evidence-based support. Save 25% on your first month at http://Ritual.com/SKINNY.   This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp Sign up and get 10% off at http://BetterHelp.com/skinny.   This episode is sponsored by Wayfair Transform your space with pieces that hold up to real life. Join Wayfair Rewards today and get five percent back on every purchase. Head to http://Wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair app for all things home.   This episode is sponsored by The Absorption Company Start taking supplements your body can actually absorb. Go to http://absorbmore.com and enter BOSSTICKS at checkout for up to 35% off your first order. Produced by Dear Media

This episode contains a candid conversation about addiction, alcohol, and drug use that may be sensitive for some listeners. Welcome back to The Bostics. Happy Monday. Today, we are sitting down with Juliet Warner. I immediately fell in love with her candor. There's something so refreshing, and you guys are going to experience this about how she told her story about addiction, alcohol, drugs, her four children, recovery, and ultimately rebuilding her life. It's really refreshing. she is. And I've talked about this a little bit, been pretty open that I have been affected by drug and alcohol addiction in my family. And it's been a huge part of my story. Juliet's going to take you on quite the wild ride. I hope you love this episode. So with that, let's welcome Juliet to the Bostics. Juliet is here on the show. She has an incredible story. I was telling you off air that I

found you from Caroline Stamberry, her podcast, and I was watching some clips, and I was blown away at how resilient, honest that you were. It was refreshing. It felt like a breath of fresh air. So I messaged you to come on the show. And then we met on accident in St. Barts. That was funny. You looked so beautiful and glowy with your four children that you've had in four years, which we'll get into. But at first, let's get the lay of the land on you. Why don't you take us back to when you were a teenager? Let's go like way back. Sure. Yeah. First of all, thank you guys so much for having me. I've been waiting for this for a long time. That was hilarious when I ran into you guys. I was like, I'm so not the type of person that's going to go like

insert myself in like a beautiful dinner at the Eden Rock to say hi. Like, but I was like, but I am coming on your podcast. So I figured I should say hi. We love it. No, no, I'm glad you did because it would have been weird if we saw each other and we knew we were doing this and and we didn't say hello. Yeah. I always think about that. Yeah, I was like, oh, should I? I should not.

Yeah. I'm going to go. Yeah. So, yeah, my, so I'm just going to start at childhood real quick because I want to be clear that this is not like a trauma origin addiction story. Like, if you looked at my childhood from the outside, like I had everything any kid would want. I had two parents that were amazing.

I have two younger sisters. Neither one of them went down the road that I went down. and, you know, from the outside looking in, everything looked great. The trouble didn't really start until I got to high school. So when I got to high school, it was pretty much right from the very beginning. I can remember going to a party, like the first weekend in high school, enter drugs and alcohol. I'm not the type of girl that ever had an off switch. So even from those early days, like I was the first one to start.

I was the last one to finish. and I never had a conversation with myself, like, maybe I shouldn't do this much tonight, or maybe I should do a little bit less, or maybe tonight I shouldn't drink at all. Like, those conversations are so foreign to me. I never had any of them, not one time in my life. So.

I think that's common for a lot of people that struggle with addiction, right? It's like there's something, I think there's something in most addicts where they just don't have that regulator, right? Like, it just like it almost makes, from what we've had these discussions, And obviously like, I was talking to the team. I said in some way, shape or form, unfortunately these days, everyone's life is touched by addiction, whether it's a friend or a family member or personal.

So we've had experience. We've had people on the show. But one of the common threads that most people that struggle with addiction that they say, they come on this show, is that there's like, they don't have that regulation. It just makes them feel comfortable and like go like if you're at home. Right. So that's what makes me think that it's something so much bigger than. partying or just wanting to feel better. It's almost like you're trying to fill a hole inside of you.

For me, I feel like that hole was there from day one, even though I had this nice, beautiful childhood, I can remember feeling super lonely. And I think it's because, and of course, I didn't have the language for this when I was younger, but like, I think it's truly because I'm a spiritual being having a human experience. And I was trying to, like, quench a spiritual thirst with drugs and alcohol. It was the first thing that ever worked for, me because I can remember being like, ah, this is what's been missing. Like, I get it. Like, all I need is this stuff and I'm going to be just fine. When is the first time that you remember maybe in high school where you sort of were like, wait, maybe this isn't normal? Oh, not at all in high school,

honey. I mean, it took a lot longer than that. Yeah. It had to get really, really dark before I even had a thought of like maybe I should try and do something different. So how did the drinking and drugs from high school transpire into the college years. Well, yeah, and I guess in high school, how frequently were you using drugs and alcohol? It was like a weekend thing. It started off as a weekend thing, but there were times where I would bring like a vodka bottle full of a water bottle full of vodka into class. I remember my home room teacher like basically being like, I can smell it on you.

That sticks out in my memory. That's totally not normal. Whereas like the weekend partying, I sort of blended in. the culture of the high school that I went to was like so advanced. I mean, we were so wild. We were so crazy. You would have gotten along at all

with our high school, just fine. Let me ask you this. What happened to me when I went to college is I met everybody else in the dorm and I was like, oh my God. Oh, no, no, no. We are not going to be able to hang out at all because you guys are such amateurs.

Like, I got to go. You and I would have been friends. You and I would have been great friends. No, I remember we got, Like me and my friends got to college, went to the University of Arizona, and we joined, it was like a lot of Greek life there. We joined a fraternity and they were supposed to haze you. Yep. And they haze you by making you drink.

And I was like, this is like normally what, this is what we were doing. Yeah. This is a day of life. Yeah. I remember the guys that were hazing us got like shit faced and we were, me and my friends that came from our high school. Because I think we had in advanced high school as well, we were looking at each other. Like, is this what you're supposed to do? Because we would be, we'd been doing that.

This is not a good thing. I'm like, you know, we grew up fast. We get the advanced. But I get it. It's like, yeah. And I remember at that point thinking like, oh shit, like maybe like not every high school is like this. Yeah, we experience. They're not.

No, they're not. Yeah, that was like, that was really eye opening going to college and just realizing just how much further along I was than everybody else. So when do you think in, it was the first time that you started with drugs and like what age were you? It was like probably like 15, right around like when I got to high school. So what happens in college? So here's the difference. Like a lot of the people that I grew up with that I was partying very hard with didn't end up, you know, going down the path that I went down, didn't end up needing to get sober, all that stuff. And it sounds like you guys too. You probably were experimenting with a lot of different things. But I really took to opiates. So I can remember like it was yesterday the first time I tried an opiate. And from the first time I ever tried it, it was the love of my life. life. And from then on, I really didn't have interest in other substances. I really honed in that I was an opiate addict and I was going to need to feel that way all the time. So I think that when you go down the road of opiate addiction, likely you're going to end up having to get

sober. That's interesting. Just because it's so heavy, it's that or it or it takes you. Right. I mean, lucky for me, this is pre-fentanyl epidemic. So otherwise I would certainly be dead. but it's just the fact that you get withdrawals. It's totally unmanageable. You can't continue. Does the opiate addiction start when you're in college? Yeah, so the OxyContin epidemic sort of hit the scene right around the time when I graduated high school. And some of the guys that I was friends with in high school, they had prescriptions.

And I remember the first time we did it, we crushed them up and we, were in somebody's car and we were on our way to a concert in Philly. I grew up outside of Philly. And I'll never forget when that kicked in, I was just like, yep, this is how it's going to have to go. Wow. And so does it sort of tumble from there? Yes. So the oxycontins became very expensive, very quickly. I couldn't afford that habit. I was in college. I didn't have any money. And I was home on spring break. All my friends from high school were home. We were all at a party. We were all up all night doing Coke and whatever else. And the sun started to come up. And I remember being like, the sun cannot come up right now.

And I cannot feel like this right now. I desperately need to go get myself, my oxycontin. That way I can just go home and sleep this off, you know? And I had $10 in my back pocket. And my friend from high school that had been using drugs for a long time turned to me and she was like, don't worry about it. $10 is all you need. Come with me.

And hence I bought my first bag of heroin. And she shot me up. And that was like 19 years old. Wow. 19 years old. And when you shoot up for the first time, is the habit completely addicting right away? Or does it take time to transpire? I mean, I was already there because I had been doing oxies for so long.

They're very similar. One's just much less expensive than the other. Now, I'm only talking about this from the times that I was doing it. now that it's a cut with fentanyl, I can't speak to it. I think it's a lot stronger now than it even was then. But like, I was already there. I just, I just switched to a cheaper source. And how are your parents when all of this is going down? That's the thing. There wasn't the awareness that we have now. Like, they didn't really know what was going on. They knew that I, my partying in high school was abnormal. I think, like, I remember my mom, like, calling me an alcoholic

at one point. But they didn't know. I think they thought I was in a phase. I think they thought I was going to grow out of it. Now, once needles came into play, my sisters found out. They told my parents. And then it was sort of like my mom,

bless her heart. Like she was always trying to monitor me and like save me and like absorb my consequences. And, you know, she'd go through my purse to see if I had drugs on me and if I did she'd throw them away so I wouldn't do them. But we all know none of that works, you know, that's just perpetuating the cycle, making everything worse. Now that you're, we'll talk about more in depth later, but like now that you're a mom yourself, do you have a different perspective on what she, like, what she was dealing with? I have so much more compassion for it. Oh my gosh. I mean, I can't believe that like she made it out and I made it out. I can't believe either one of us made it out.

my dad really just recluse. He didn't want. I don't really think I even talk to my dad for those years that much. But my mom was like, you know, she would still give me money because I would manipulate her into giving me money. And I'd get right. I mean, sometimes she would pay my debts to my drug dealers for me, you know? So like she was doing everything she could to try and in her mind save me.

So now as a mom, I definitely have way more compassion for her. but I definitely see the difference in loving somebody, loving the addict, which by the way is the most excruciatingly painful thing, probably anyone will go through, especially if it's your child. But there's a difference between loving the addict and participating in the disease. So what my mom was doing was participating in the disease. She didn't know any better. It's so hard, though, not to get sucked into the turmoil and the chaos and almost when everything is calm, you're like looking for the next chaotic thing to happen.

Yeah, nothing's ever calm. And then like you also become, not an addict, but you become a part of the, you perpetuate the addiction almost. Yeah, you're right. And you're so right. And you are just as sick as the addict. You're just not using the drugs. Yeah.

But you're certainly just as sick. So that's why I think parents or anybody that has a loved one that's suffering from drugs or alcohol, like, you need support. They need support. I, my sister is an addict, and I mean, I can't imagine having a daughter as an addict. I think that's, it's probably a crazy experience for your mom. But I remember just trying to control and plan interventions and do everything I could and, like, was being wrapped up in the spinning and the chaos and the Tasmanian devil of it all.

Oh, yeah. And I remember, I can remember the day that I just, let go. I was like, no way. There's nothing I can do. And I just surrendered and let go. And a week later, she got sober. And she had been using it. One of the chills. She'd been using for like 10 years. Well, I think that's not about me. I just think the letting go is so, it's, it's all you can do. What's so counterintuitive about it and so hard to do is that you almost have to rip out the support system. Because the enablement causes them to, to, to, to, continue, it's another reason to continue the behavior, right? If like everyone around you still,

like they're paying off your drug dealers, if they're, you know, creating safe space, if they're letting you still live in the home and you, it sounds like you, you know, you don't want to be so cold to like kick out a family member or a loved one or a friend, but like that support structure almost creates another reason from them to stay in the cycle. If they do have the ability to get out, which obviously they have to get out themselves. That's the other thing. It's like, you can't get them out. They have to get themselves out. Yeah. But if you're creating that structure, I think it makes it harder for them to get out of it, which is so counterintuitive because as a parent or a sibling, whatever.

Yeah, you want them to have a safe place to land at the end of the night, you know. I can't imagine having to think that my son or daughter is going to have to sleep on the street tonight because I kicked them out. But if you just let them keep living at your house under those conditions, you're really playing into the disease and to the addiction and you're feeding it. And the more you feed it, the farther and the faster it's going to run. Yeah. No, and I think it's easier, like, for somebody who hasn't had to have a child or, friend or a sibling like to to coach from the sidelines, but it must be a total different thing when it's your child or your sibling. You know what I mean? When you started doing heroin,

where did it get? I mean, it obviously was out of control, but where did it take it to a different level where you felt like you needed help? So I actually asked my parents if I could go to treatment three months after like almost to the day from the first time I shot up. And it was a very like cavalier out of the blue decision. I think I remember. hearing that somebody I knew had gotten sober. And I was like, oh, maybe I should get sober. And like, I asked my mom and dad if I could go to rehab. They were like, hallelujah. And then by like two in the afternoon, I was in rehab for the first time. And so it didn't really take me. I mean, it was always, it's always bad when you're doing heroin. It's never good. But it didn't take me to the places

that it would later take me to. And I went to that treatment center and I thought, with every ounce of my being that I was never going to do drugs again. Like two weeks into the treatment stay, I was like, I'm totally fixed, I'm good, I can't believe I ever did drugs, and this is such a better way to live, you know? So what happens when you come out?

I say all the time that I didn't know what I was up against. Like the disease of addiction is so strong and it's so powerful and it's so much bigger than me or you. you or you or anybody, you know. And I didn't know that at the time at all. So I got out and I think four months later I had a drink at the bar like with my girlfriend. Didn't really think that went through. But of course, alcohol was never the problem. So that was fine, right? That was fine. Alcohol can't hurt me. And it ended up leading back, you know, I went right back to what I was doing

probably within six months. And the next, let's call me 20 years old then. The next seven, eight years are this terrible cycle of relapse, remorse, recovery. Relapse, remorse, recovery. So like, I just keep falling on my face and I can't keep it going. I can't, I always say, I used to say I don't have a drug problem. I have a money problem because I would always run out of money, right? And then I'd be like, I'd need to go to rehab. And then I'd go to rehab. And then I'd get clean and then I'd get out and then slowly but surely the cravings would start. Sometimes I would last only three weeks. Sometimes I would last seven months. But the cravings would eventually start. And I would fight them and I would fight them and I'd put up a good fight. And then it'd get to a point

where I'd be like on my knees in tears, begging God to keep me sober. Like, please keep me sober. Like, I don't want to go down this road again. I know what's going to happen, you know? And every time I would end up high. And when you were using, were you reclusive, were you social, were you by yourself, were you with people, were you going to parties, where you know, small, like, all different ways. All different. Yeah. I think all of those ways at some time or another. Yeah, because, you know, like some people will go and they just like, they go wild and they're parting and they go on these benders and then there's some people that are just like alone by themselves. If you don't see them, you can't find them.

You can't hear from them. That's also scary. Yeah, I would prefer to be social. I'm a very social being. In the beginning, like after the first time that I used that stuff, I actually, the next day went and shot, got my drugs, did it myself for the first time. And I went straight to a tennis lesson. Like, I played really well. And that I swear, I was so delusional that I was like, this heroin stuff that I've just discovered is going to make me such a better version of myself.

And like, I really believe that because it gave me energy. Like, it allowed me to clean my house and maybe write the paper that I was putting off and procrastinating. Sort of has the opposite effect on some people and I'm one of those people. So it's very strange and very interesting. But, you know, towards the end, I had no friends left. I burnt every bridge. I lost every job. I mean, I had scabs all over my face from picking.

Like, it takes you to places where, like, there's not going to be many people around. So what is the final straw of your first time getting sober? So part one ends with me, you know, being in and out of treatment for all that time. The scariest place to be is wanting desperately to be sober and not being able to do it. And I experienced that a lot for like, I'd say the last like two years of that part of my life. And the final attempt was I asked to go to rehab again. luckily I was on my parents' health insurance still because no one was paying a dollar for me at this point, you know? And I was able to go to a place in Miami Beach.

Sounds pretty nice, right? I'm like, sign me up. I'll try again. And I flew to this rehab and I checked in. And I remember I called the lady that was my sponsor at AA for like the last six years. She'd just watched me fall down and get back up and fall down and get back up. And I called her from the treatment center and I will never find. forget it. She said, Juliet, you are a ticking time bomb. She goes, you have been in and around

the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous for far too long without ever working them. So we're going to get to work and we're starting now. Like grab your notebook. We're starting. And I did. So I went to that treatment center in Miami and I worked on my 12 steps. And during that time, I'm not sure how familiar you are with the 12 steps, but basically the meat and potatoes of the work is writing this entire moral inventory of your life. It's going to include everyone you're mad at to everything wrong you've ever done, to all your fears, right? It has all of that written down. And I started writing and I finished that inventory by the time my 30 days came around. And when I left that treatment center. I flew directly back to Philadelphia to do the rest of my steps with her. And then after that,

I flew straight back down to Florida to move into a sober house for the first time. I was never really willing to do that either. So I did that. What is that like in a humbling way to move into a home with other addicts? I mean, for me, it was... I didn't think about it. I think I had the grace of God upon me during that time because I'm not a humble person by nature. Like, I have to work really hard at that. And especially then at that phase in my life, like, I would have been appalled having to do something like that. But I was happy and I was free for the first time in my entire adult life.

So I didn't even think about it. And get this, the sober house that I lived in, was like in a totally bad neighborhood. It didn't have a floor. Like the floor was concrete. And he like threw some rugs down. But like there was no floor. Like I had no money.

I had no car. I had no job. And I was probably the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. Wow. So you just have massive gratitude that you're sober. Massive gratitude. I'm spiritually connected. I'm useful for the first time in my entire life.

And are you just doing things to help around the house? and kind of do your part? Like, what does a day-to-day look like in there? Well, you're a free. That's just where you live. So, like, I didn't spend the days there. You know, I woke up. I probably got exercise.

I'd go to the beach. I would go to a lot of AA meetings. At this point, I was sponsoring other women, so helping other women get sober. So for the first time I was on the other side of it, which was really empowering for somebody like me. And I loved that time in my life. You know, I absolutely loved it.

I healed so much. I grew so much. And the work that I did at that point, really, I can thank my entire life that I have today. It all comes from that. Is it weird sitting in an AA meeting and all these people are sharing like the most traumatic things ever? I've tried Al-Anon and I've heard some of these stories and I'm like, holy shit. Do you say to yourself, wait, I didn't have a traumatic? childhood. Is that a question that you ask yourself or is that not even in your ether?

No, it's not really in my ether. And to be honest, like, there's a lot of people that do have a lot of trauma and it leads them down this road. But there's a ton of people that are just like me. And like, when I get together with those people and we start this conversation of why are we addicts? Why are we alcoholics? We all are kind of just like, because we were, because we're alcoholics and because we're addicts. I like this conversation because it's, I think that to your point, have to have something traumatic happen to you to switch the addict switch. A hundred percent. And I think we have an image problem with addiction in this country or as a society as a whole. And I'm really interested in dismantling that. Image problem meaning

like an addict has an origin story and looks a certain kind of way. Right. My sister had this problem where she's she's gorgeous. She's beautiful. If you looked at her, she looks fine, but that almost made it worse because I felt like I was screaming and no one was listening because she looked beautiful. And you're right. There is an image problem, which is why I think that this conversation is so important to share. Well, and I think on the dark side of that, and this is maybe a sexist thing to say, but if you're a beautiful woman, I feel like it's easier maybe to support the habit because there's people that, like, if you're some big ugly dude, nobody's... It's going to be hard to get someone to give you money. Yeah, it's going to be exactly. I was like, right? Like, so I

I just call it what it is. But no, I think, and this is maybe not the correct thing to say, and maybe, and I don't have the science on this. But I think if certain people are wired certain ways, it almost doesn't matter your upbringing, your origin, where you're from. Like, if you just have that specific kind of wiring, you may be, you may just not have the ability to recreationally use drugs and alcohol. The disease doesn't discriminate. No, doesn't discriminate and some of us are predisposed. That's the word we use. I was talking to a buddy the other day.

We enjoyed this summer. You know, when we saw you, we were having fun with friends. We were just with him. And I can go absolutely cold turkey, not think about alcohol for a month after that. And I know that that's like that's not a common. Like if you have that switch, like a lot of people can't do that. And he's like, oh, you're like an all in or all. I'm like, yeah, like I can do that.

But I think you have, if you are somebody that is not able to do that, you have to be really conscious of partaking in recreational drugs or alcohol because we've heard, we've heard many stories where it just sweeps you away. Yeah, exactly. I think that's why like having conversations with our kids is going to be super important as they all get older. I mean, all's are all still young, but it's coming. What was your first job when you were in your program in your house? First job. Was it helping other? It sounds like it was helping other. Yes. Yes, totally was helping other. I was taking other women through the steps, through the 12 steps. That must have felt really purposeful. It did because I was someone that I never thought I'd get it.

First of all, I never thought that I was going to get sober just based on how many times I tried and how many times I failed. So that when I was on the other side and someone was actually coming to me for help staying sober, I was like, ah. Yeah. What? Yeah. You know?

What happens when you get out of the program? So I meet Alex, actually. And you're now husband. My now husband. Yep. And it's so funny because I always say water really does rise to its own level because I dated, I mean, I don't want to trash anybody on here. But Alex doesn't make sense if you put him next to everybody else I've ever dated, right? So I get that.

I did. I think it's because I had done all that work. I had changed so much as a human being. I mean, like everything about me was different. And that's when him and I started dating. And we were quick to get married. I think we were married within the year. Wow.

And then once I started having babies, like the good addict I am, four in four years. That's intense. Four kids in four years. Walk us through that. That is no joke. What are the actual age gaps from the oldest to youngest? They're all like 15 months apart. Wow.

So right now they're 10, 9, 7, 6. And by the way, you guys go look at her on YouTube because you look insane. Like, if I had four kids. kids back to back under four. You'd be rolling me out of here. I had a little help. I had a little revision going on here. The way you look, though, isn't just a revision.

10-9-7-6. Not only just from like the actual like having the children, but managing that many children that young, that closely, that is wild. Why do you say the attic that I am, I had four kids? Explain that under four. This is why. So I had my first and I was like, I had healed a lot before I had him, but I feel like in the moment I became a mom, it was like,

my whole life made sense. And it just did something for me that nothing else ever could touch, right? So I had this little baby and I like found myself in motherhood. Like I didn't struggle at all as a new mom. In fact, it was the best I've ever done in my life. Like I was just like, this is it. I was made for this. And I was like so obsessed with my little baby boy.

that I was just like, I need to have as many of these things as fast as I can. So that's what I'm going to do. You know? And so you just keep going and going and going and going. Yeah, it was always like four, four or five months postpartum pregnant again.

I am 15 months postpartum right now. Are you really? And I cannot even imagine. That is so, I mean, what are the age differences of yours? Six, four, one. Okay, well, that's like, That's a lot of work, though. It's not a joke.

Yeah, it's a lot. Were you guys hanging from a thread? Well, I, first of all, I had a night nurse with all four of them, the same woman. So have I. So have I. I mean, my kids all were sleeping through the night by seven weeks old. Okay. It's still a lot of work. I have a full-time person cleaning up after me and my kids to this day. So I have a lot of help, you know? I don't know.

Would I have done that if I didn't have the resources and the help? I don't know. So after four, does your husband say no more? Yeah, guys, he actually got a vasectomy the same day my fourth was born from the same anesthesiologist. Like, the guy went, did my C-section, goes down the hall, sees Alex laying on the table. And he's like, you? Sir, like, your wife just had a C-section. You're not supposed to be doing this. I would have done my own vasectomy on my husband.

You're going to, I'm going to clip the balls for you. So he was after four, he was done. Yeah, he was done. Four's a lot. Four's good. And you said like to your addict brain, when he says we're done with four, are you okay with that? Yes, only because, listen, if there was like more of me or more hours in the day, then maybe I would keep going because I truly love having kids. I have always wanted a big family. But there's just not enough energy to go around to give each of them the needs that they require and deserve, you know? I say I would have six if I didn't have to get. You know, from like an efficiency person, I almost think having them that close now, like, thinking about it must be great because they're all together. They're all similar age. They're

all like probably in similar activities in schools. It's harder when you have big gaps. Then I agree. Yeah. You know, I think people, some can get left behind or some can feel neglect. Yeah, that is cool. They're like a little tribe. Well, and also like as a parent, the older you get, it's just like an age thing. You just like you get less energy, right? Yeah. Right. Because it's physical. Right. I can talk about like the physical side of. parenting. So I imagine at this stage, even though it's probably so intense, it's probably really great, like having them that close. It is great. It's really great. And I have this worked out better than I could have ever imagined or planned myself, but I have the two older ones are boys,

the two younger ones are girls. So like, I just group them together. So we're only on one baseball team. We're only on one soccer team. The girls, you know? That's efficient. The girls go to tennis lessons together. The boys do their tennis lessons together. So like, it's really like I only have two kids logistically. Okay. Okay. That makes sense because you're not schlepping them around to 18. Well, that's not making me feel good because my daughter is the oldest.

And I, well, I guess I can combine the two sons. Yes, you can combine the two sons. Joint birthday parties. So when you're having children, there's no drugs or alcohol. No. And then at what point do you decide to introduce it back in? Yeah. So I think what happened is a couple of things were present.

First of all, I always tell my kids, like, Know yourself. Know thyself. Something I really know about myself now today is that I'm not good with transitions. So it really all started to go sideways when all four of my kids went to school. Because I went from being a mom that had four babies that none of them could put a fucking sock on themselves. Not one of them, you know? And then all of a sudden they're all in school from like 8 to 3 p.m.

Like I should have prepared for that. Like I should have had something going on. I didn't. I was left, and by the way, I'm not someone that just wants to go to lunch and go shopping. I just do not want to do that. You know, so I was like, oh my gosh, I don't have a purpose. I was going through all this kind of emotionally. And that was present. The next thing that was present was the work that really anchors me to sobriety, I hadn't been doing for years because life just keeps moving and it gets fast. And then you have these kids and then your life is all about them and your social life is all about their friends and their friends' parents. And those are the people you hang out with. So I'm not really hanging out with sober people anymore at this point. My life is like totally different. And then thirdly, I really thought I could trust myself.

Like I had become this person that was so trustworthy and like so amazing, you know. Are you telling Alex this narrative in your head or is this all going on? like just in your head by yourself. It's in my head by by myself and then I'm telling him once I make the decision to drink. And right. So you make that that's interesting to me. You make the decision to drink and then are you convincing him that you. I'm just demanding. I'm more demanding than convincing. Like what's what do you mean? At this point our relationship, this is like one of the things that I don't talk about much because it's like out of respect for his privacy. But I'll just say

our relationship was suffering at this point. I mean, having for, kids and not taking the time to really work on your marriage over the years like you should be, it's going to, it's going to have an effect. So we weren't doing well at all. I think that probably also contributed to it. I was just like, what am I doing, like, restricting myself? At this point, I can handle alcohol. And that pesky thought came back right back into my head that alcohol can't hurt me. I swear to God, word for word. That's the thought. And how old are your children at this point? My oldest is seven. And my youngest, let's do the math. My youngest is three. Yeah. So it was almost a decade since you had used last. Yes, it was all. I mean, I never went back to the,

I have not done those drugs since, since that time in my life, which is something I'm super proud of. But yeah, I mean, I think I just drank because I thought I deserved to. I thought I had done enough work on myself. I thought I'd change so much as a person and as an individual. And I didn't think alcohol could hurt me. So I don't like to admit this, but I also think a part of me wanted to belong. And I was hanging out with all these other parents that were normal people, like having rosé at lunch. And like the moms bring like the wine coolers to like the baseball playoffs and like like the mommy wine culture is for real where I live what's that like for me now or what's it like the mommy wine culture I mean drinking is just such a huge part of everybody's life

and that's okay you know I'm not saying that from a judgmental standpoint because listen if I could drink and not have any consequences I probably would but that's just not realistic that's not reality so you're you were just around moms that are opening the bottle at 12 o'clock at the softball game or like what's the what do you mean i mommy culture i just want to know i want to understand i i don't know about like the 12 o'clock part of it but like if it's a you know if it's a thursday friday night game then like everyone has their stanleys or their yeties and we all know what's in those right like we went to like a halloween parade and i said to michael i said oh my god everyone has a stanley so the wine is in the stanley yeah something else yeah there's also that

Pick your poison, but probably wine. No, there's also an article recently, like some, a mother, and I don't want to actually, like, there's too much shade here, but because men drink too. But like somebody got removed from some pageant because they had like a margarita in the Stanley. So, you know, like, it's like prevalent in our culture. People are drinking wine and beer. Now, it's, it's very prevalent. It's part of every social occasion, you know.

Of course. Any, anything social I go and do with other parents, other parents are drinking. And I guess I just wanted to. And then. there's like the, you know, one of the moms will organize like a girl's happy hour, you know? I'm like, oh, that would be cool to be able to partake, right? I deserve to be able to do that. So I just convinced myself that it wasn't going to hurt me and it was going to be fine.

I can totally understand the thought process of how you can get there. So what is your first drink off the wagon? Or is it off the wagon or on the wagon? Well, I guess I was getting off the wagon. with that first drink. So what's the first drink? Did you, is it like a planned thing in your head? No, so the first drink is a glass of wine with dinner with a friend. And it wasn't really planned. She just was like, hey, do you want a glass? And I was like, yeah. And does your friend know that you were in some red? No, no, not at that point. That, not that person. Because I mean, I definitely am super open about it. Well, now everybody knows.

But, but like beforehand, unless it comes up in conversation, I'm not like, I'm not volunteering this information. Well, it sounds like you're with a new group, too. Like kids grew up. Yeah, exactly. I have an ignorant question. When you have that glass of wine, does it automatically mean the next day you want to,

or is it not like that? So this is, that's a great question because this is what makes me, what I call, I call myself an atypical alcoholic. Now, that's not a clinical term. That's a Juliet term. Like, I don't know if anyone's ever said that before. But my alphemy,

Alcoholism is strange and it's tricky because I can go six months with having like one drink once a week with dinner. And I'm fine. Like it doesn't set off an allergy in me where like typical alcoholism is they have an allergy. And if you have any alcohol whatsoever, it's going to set off this chain reaction in your body. And you're going to want to keep drinking and keep drinking and all bets are off. Right. I don't have that experience with alcohol. But what I do have is that one day I'm going to overshoot the mark and it's going to be so bad that I'm going to completely black out.

And literally I'm lucky that I didn't burn my own house down, run somebody over with my car. God knows what, you know. So that's what my alcoholism looks like. And I had, I'm lucky that I only drank for, I mean, it was probably like a seven month period. In the beginning, it was totally fine. It wasn't a lot. And then I had a blackout. And again, I could have burnt the house down that night.

Like, actually literally burnt the house down? Like, I could have. Like, I was in a full blackout. Like, I could have turned on the stove to cook something and not turn the stove off. You know, I could have done anything. Like, I was in a full on blackout. And I woke up the next day being like, huh, okay, that's weird that happened. Wasn't planning on getting blackout drunk, right?

But it happens. I mean, first of all, it happens to people that aren't alcoholics. It happens all the time. So I'm still not an alcoholic. I'm going to monitor myself a little bit more closely. And so I started to like monitor myself a little bit more closely. Well, it happened again, like a month later. And then it happened again.

And then like two weeks after that, it happened again. And what is Alex saying in your kids at this point? Alex is saying like you're actually an alcoholic. Like, hello? Like what, do you need something bad to happen? And what did the, do the kids pick up on it? No, I didn't. The kids, the kids saw me drunk one time and it was the last time that I drank.

So, thank God nothing catastrophic happened. But it was enough for me to say, like, this is not working. And I need to get sober again. But I think the bigger issue I was having is that because I decided to not be in sobriety anymore, like all the things that really keep me, like, grounded and happy. and honest and all of these things, I didn't have access to anymore. Like, I didn't have access to the tools

or to God or my spirituality, and I didn't understand why I couldn't access those things. So I started to get, like, really, like, crotchety. Like, I was, like, a really unhappy person. I was kind of a nightmare to deal with. Like, I was, I became defensive. I became anxious. I was just really, really suffering mentally.

And I knew that it was the alcohol. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If I could wake up tomorrow and be better at one thing, it would be being more patient with my wife, my family, with my loved ones, with my coworkers. Sometimes I can run a little hot. Sometimes I can run a little agro. This is something I'm constantly working on.

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that trip being like, I'm going to drink, I'm not going to drink too much. Were you monitoring that? Did you know that it was going to maybe be a problem or no? No. So I went on that trip thinking I wasn't going to drink at all. And I was so restless and irritable and just discontent. I mean, I was suffering from untreated alcoholism. That's how you feel when you have untreated alcoholism. So I was suffering from that. And I went and ordered a drink, a strong one, because I was kind of of sneaking it I wasn't supposed to be drinking you know and I wasn't planning on getting blackout drunk then either so no like I was planning on being a sober mom on this trip in the Bahamas with my kids are your other friends there or is it just you and your kids it's just one friend and their

kids but so what what happens you order a drink and then does you just you order another one or do you just have a low tolerance like what happens you know I don't have a low tolerance all I I order yeah I was ordering like double Tito's and so you just order you order you order one then you get And then they just start my engine and then I don't want to stop. So then I flew home from the, Alex came and picked us up from the Bahamas. He actually chartered a plane to come get us. How did you know that you needed to leave? I had a mother's helper with me and she called him.

What's mothers? Like a man. Like it was like one of my friends' kids, like that was 18, came to help me with the kids. She called my husband. And she was like, yeah, she sounded the alarm and he was like scared, really scared. He didn't trust the friend I was with. and mom's drunk and yeah she um she sounded the alarm and he was there like within an hour and when he gets there are you receptive or is it a fight or is it oh no i know i'm fucking done

i like i walked out of the atlantis i got escorted by security to be put into a car with my kids to be driven to the airport to meet alex and i knew i mean i had come i was coming to at that moment and i was just like all right the fucking jig is up so do you want to be to go to rehab at that point when you sort of wake up out of it? So, no, I go, I, we fly home and, like, I go to sleep. And the next couple days, I really, like, sunk into a deep depression because I was really mortified. Like, I had left the friend in the Bahamas, like, ruined the trip for them.

Like, everybody sort of heard about it. I was so ashamed. I mean, the amount of shame I had was. So I turned to Alex and I was like, I think I need to get sober again. and I don't think that I can do it out here right now because I just feel so bad. Like I'm so down. I think one thing that's so great about you and Khalil

is that to me, when you talk about these stories and when he talks about his story, I think it helps take the shame away. Do you feel that? 100%. Yeah. When you're almost open with it, the shame feels like it grows when you're hiding it.

It does. Yeah. Yes. So you're back and reading. How is that for you with your children? That's like, I feel like that's really overwhelming. Yeah, I mean, God bless them. They're so, they adapt so well.

Like, I mean, I wasn't there, but I'm told that they did just fine, you know? And how do you talk to them? What do you say? So the thing is, is that Alex, like you, is like a serial entrepreneur and one of his businesses is a treatment center for young adult men. And so in my house, like, Like, we have always had the language of addiction and recovery going on. So it's not anything new.

But I am grateful that they saw me drunk that time because I think for kids it's not about what happens in their life. It's about how you process it. Yeah. And, like, it invited us to open up the conversation again. And it gave me an opportunity to go to them and be vulnerable and say, Mommy messed up. Like, just because I'm old doesn't mean that I've learned all the,

lessons I'm supposed to learn. I'm still learning too. You know? Also, it seems like your sobriety journey was not really around your kids at all. And then this was an opportunity for you to show them, to your point, the side of you. No, and I guess in your household, you can explain and contextualize it for kids, which I think is so important for children because they need to, to your point, they need to understand and process. I think a lot of times parents will make mistakes and they kind of like act like they didn't with children. Like we all, like, you know, We all know, like, parents like that and grew up around kids like that. And I think that it's really confusing for the children because they're like, wait a minute.

Like, was that okay or was it not okay? It's almost like, hey. Maybe a little gaslighting going on. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's really good. Yeah, it's really good. I love to have the opportunity to say I'm sorry to my kids when necessary.

Like, I'm committed to that, you know? When you get out of rehab, what makes you decide to open up about this story? I always say it was like a slow burn for me. getting better this time because the first time that I got sober, I say the first time and the second time, but we both, we all know there was many times where I tried to get sober. I'm talking about the two times that I actually feel that I did recover, you know? So the first time, I didn't really have that much to be ashamed of because like my life was like in the gutter, you know? Like I was starting from zero. I had nothing to lose. This time, I'm like, this mother of four, I'm like a no,

person in our community. I had a reputation or so I thought that like I was like this super mom, like that doesn't drink. And like I just like tore it all down for the world to see. And I really struggled with a lot of shame. Like I was really, really suffering, getting sober this time. And when you get sober, you take the alcohol in this case or the drugs away. You're still left with all your feelings. You just can't numb them anymore. So that was really. really hard. So I had to work through a lot of stuff before I even thought about doing anything. And when I finally got back to work and started to heal again and started to sort of undo that shame, I knew that I needed to do something because my kids are going to be back in school again,

another year, you know, and this time, like, I really have to be prepared. And I knew I didn't want to go work for somebody else. I didn't really know what I wanted to do. But it was funny. I was in the Hamptons, and I was at this AA meeting, and I go to this meeting every time I'm there. So, like, I'm familiar with the people in the room. And I usually share, and I shared at this meeting, and then afterwards I walked outside to the parking lot, and this lady comes out behind me. And she's like, Juliet, Juliet, I just have to tell you, I could listen to you talk all day. And I was just like, okay, like, I understood the assignment. Like, you do have an act. for it. I was like, I get it. Like, I have to figure out a way to talk. You got to get this girl a podcast. I'm

telling you, you do have a knack for talking. So you started sharing the story on social. Yep. So that literally, that woman, I have no idea what her name is, but thank you if you're watching. Because she really did, like, plant the seed. I was like, all right, well, I know that someday, like, I'll be able to do big things speaking wise. Like, I love public speaking. I'm like the designated, like eulogy giver in the family, which is weird, but that's how much I like it. That's how much I fucking like it. Well, I think when you're also, when you're in the meetings and you stand up and speak in front of people, that's great practice. Such good practice. Right. Yes. I mean, it's a muscle. It's a muscle. Yeah, I've been working out that muscle for a long time,

but even before that, I always loved it. Like, it was my favorite class in high school. Like, it was just, I just love it. So I knew that, like, eventually, like, things would, God would lead me to the right path and the right outlet where I could use those skills that really I feel like were specifically ordained to me in this life, you know? When you start putting yourself online was the response from your own community amazing and how did you grow your community to then have Caroline ask you to come on her podcast? Yeah. So it's funny because I found that online the strangers are your biggest supporters, you know? Yep. And the people that knew me were kind of like, what are you doing? You know? But then there was people that were super nice. I mean, I got all sorts of responses. At first, Alex was like,

are you sure you want to do this? Like, I'm a pretty private guy. Like, I'm not really even interested in being in an Easter photo. So, like, how are we going to work this? You know, and there's been like tons of conversations around that. And he's come around to it. He's been amazingly supportive. And, you know, the people that matter don't mind and the ones that mine don't matter. How many DMs do you get about people going through their own struggles. So that's the thing. Like I get a ton of DMs. And obviously I don't answer all of the DMs.

But if there's ever a person that is reaching out because they're struggling with this, I will never let that go on red. Like I will always respond to those. I've actually helped like multiple people find treatment centers, pick the right one, talk to their families. Like it's like a little bit of like a side hustle that I don't get paid for. But it's fine because it's like. like so fulfilling. And it's like, if I'm going to do this, like what bigger purpose to do it than that,

you know? And what has the momentum of putting yourself out there, Ben? What are things that have happened out of all of this that are good? It's given me a thing of my own, you know, a little thing of my own. Because my kids are just going to keep getting older. You know, they're going to keep growing up. They're going to need me less and less over time. Because I watch your social media. I think it's so great. And it seems like there's so many blessings. Yeah, there is. I I mean, I've connected with so many amazing people online. I mean, Caroline Stamberry is a perfect example of that. Her and I have stayed in touch.

I really love her. She's awesome. We like her a lot. She actually just like randomly started off. She was like one of my first followers. I swear to God. And I was like, is this a fake account? Because obviously I knew who she was.

I'm like, this can't be real, you know? And it was. And then like a month later, she's like, hey, want to come on my podcast? I was like, yeah. And then I found you and I was like, I need to have this woman. on the show right away. I know, and you slid into my DMs. I was like, what?

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So check them out. Function can obviously check so many of your biomarkers, so many of your levels. It's never been easier to understand where you are. Again, from a supplementation perspective, many of us are just in the dark spending a bunch of money on stuff that we don't know of work. We don't know if we need it. And function takes a lot of the guesswork out of it.

So check your brain health the way I do. Function provides 160 plus lab tests for $1 a day and member pricing on advanced imaging, join at functionhealth.com slash skinny and use code Skinny 25 for a $25 credit. Join us in Austin for Dear Media by day on Saturday, September 26. It's a full day designed to help you reset, refocus, and build a life that feels more like yours. We'll be sitting down with the Bumble founder, Whitney Wolf heard, to talk about what comes after success, when to change direction, how to make tough decisions, evolve, in public and build something that lasts. Plus, you'll have the chance to ask us for advice on the

crossroads you're facing in business, relationships, or life. Get your tickets at dearmedia.com slash events. That's dearmedia.com slash events. Mouth tape. It's so fucking cute. You've never seen cuter. I definitely would say if you are not using mouth tape, you are missing out on so many benefits. It's absolutely changed my life. I cannot say enough good things. I cannot say enough good things. I about it. So what I've noticed is that it's made my jawline stronger because it supports your tongue posture all night. It's encouraged nasal breathing, which gives you a better sleep and more energy in the morning. And most importantly, it's trained me sort of where to put my tongue. I would never dare sleep without mouth tape. So subscription, I would recommend because we sell out all the time.

We literally cannot keep this mouth tape in stock. If you want to chisel your jawline while you sleep and get a better sleep, go to shop skinnyconfidential.com. Shop skinnyconfidential.com. I think I would love to end this episode with anyone who is listening, who's struggling with drug or alcohol addiction. I don't want to say advice. I don't even know if that's the right word, but what are some things that you would tell them?

I want to answer this one right. You know, if there's one thing that I've learned in all of my years of being like in recovery and then out of recovery and then back in recovery, it's probably that like it truly isn't about how many times you mess up. It is truly about how many times you get back on your feet. And if you just keep trying and you keep trying, you don't know which time it's going to click and something's going to change. And then you can have your like ideal, beautiful life right in front of you.

So it is. It's truly just how many times you get back up. So keep getting up. I am inspired by you so much. You're so great. And next time you come to Austin, you got to bring Alex and we can do a double date. We will for sure. Thank you for coming on the show. Where can everyone say hi, find you? Hopefully you can launch a podcast, please. I'll talk to Michael after the show. I know some people. You guys can find me at The Juliet Social. And that's on Instagram and on TikTok. I'll probably be on YouTube at some point, but I'm not right now. Thank you for everything you're doing.

Thank you for being so open. I think these conversations help a lot of people. I loved it. I loved every second of it. Thank you guys. Thank you. If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse or experiencing a mental health crisis,

please tax or call 988 to reach the 24-hour suicide and crisis lifeline. Visit 988 lifeline.org to learn more. For detailed show notes, visit thebostics.com.