The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - The Truth About Your 20s & 30s: Life Lessons On Mindset, Money, Relationships, & Growth With Michael Bosstick & Mimi Evarts

Episode Date: August 14, 2025

  #876: Join Michael Bosstick for an exclusive conversation with Mimi Evarts – The Skinny Confidential's powerhouse Director of Branding, the driving force behind every chapter, & most importantly, Michael’s Sister-in-Law. Having been a key mentor throughout Mimi’s stages of life, Michael sits down with her for a candid, real talk about navigating your 20s & lessons learned. In this episode, Michael & Mimi share hard-earned life lessons on investing early, cultivating meaningful relationships, discuss transformative books that shifted their perspective, & reveal the invaluable advice they wish they’d known sooner. Plus, get Michael’s hot take on Rebecca Yarros’ book, Forth Wing! Get ready for an inspiring conversation to level up your life & mindset – no matter your age.   To Watch the Show click HERE   For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM   To connect with Mimi Evarts click HERE   To connect with The Skinny Confidential click HERE   To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE   Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE   Shop The Skinny Confidential at https://bit.ly/ShopTSC15 and use code HIMANDHER15 to get 15% off sitewide for a limited time. Excludes bundles and subscriptions.   Head to our ShopMy page HERE and LTK page HERE to find all of the products mentioned in each episode.   Get your burning questions featured on the show! Leave the Him & Her Show a voicemail at [phone].   This episode is sponsored by The Skinny Confidential Your daily routine done better – with The Skinny Confidential Caffeinated Sunscreen. Subscribe today at http://bit.ly/TSCSunscreen and get it delivered right to your door – because great skin doesn’t take days off!   This episode is sponsored by Just Thrive  Visit https://justthrivehealth.com/discount/TSC and use code TSC for 20% off.    This episode is sponsored by Squarespace Head to https://www.squarespace.com/SKINNY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code SKINNY This episode is sponsored by Hiya Health Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal you must go to http://hiyahealth.com/SKINNY.   This episode is sponsored by Throne Ready to level up your performance? Check out Thorne’s Magnesium Bisglycinate and more at http://Thorne.com.   This episode is sponsored by DailyLook For 50% off your order, head to http://DailyLook.com and use code SKINNY.    This episode is sponsored by Policygenius Head to http://policygenius.com/SKINNY to compare quotes and get the coverage you need. Produced by Dear Media

The following podcast is a dear media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her.

Aha. Hello everybody. Welcome back to the skinny confidential, him and her show. Today we have myself, Michael. Bosick, I'm missing my co-hosts of a wife because she's still on maternity leave. For some reason, she thinks she gets longer than a week break after having a baby. It's absolutely absurd. I'm carrying the weight of the show on my back.

But don't worry, we have her sister, our sister, I would say now, Mimi Everts on the podcast. And today we're diving into one of the most pivotal and misunderstood decades of your life, your 20s, dun dun, dun. This episode is for anyone that's trying to navigate the pressure. to succeed, build real confidence, navigate life, find clarity in their career, in their life, and their relationships. I know in my 20s, I was all over the place, hell, even in my 30s and still kind of all over the place. So if this episode can be helpful for anyone that's kind of navigating earlier in life, I hope it can be, sharing wisdom that I've learned in close to

two decades since I've been in my 20s. That's kind of crazy to say that. With that, Mimi, welcome back to the show. And Lauren, hopefully you get back soon. hello thank you for having me all right thank you for doing this with me today and thank you for being patient i was prepping in the other room doing your hair no my hair's not done today i do you know it is a little wild it's a little wild i like it way better like this i'm trying different things it's not so like helmety i've been told hey don't you dare come on my show and insult me in the first five minutes i'm just kidding no i've been told to let it let it fly a little bit so anyways thanks for doing this when's the last time you and i actually did a show together like

when we did that red flags and deal breakers won in 20, 22. I remember we did the red flags thing and the guy that we said as a red flag got really mad because we called it lost it. I had to block him. I wonder if he's going to see this again. I hope so. Hi. Add me to your red flags. I'll reach out to him. I remember that drama. That episode, anyways, anyone that's wondering when that episode was, it's been a while, just search Mimi Everett's podcast and you'll see it. So anyways, welcome back. Am I leading this? Are you leading? I should be leading this. It's my fucking show, Carson. I should be leading it. Okay. We have

questions and briefs. So, no, you're, I love how you yelled at Carson. Like, he's the one confused, but it's really, listen, Carson's right in my line of sight. And Emily's over there, and she's a little bit, you might have to crick my neck a little bit too far. Maybe I should yelled at both. I'm just yelling in that direction. Maybe you should consider moving the desk, so that's not an issue. I like to get positive feedback from the producer. If I say like a joke on the show, I see what he's laughing. It's kind of rare. You know, know it's the rarest is Taylor when we record with him in L.A. Getting a compliment out of Taylor is, it's like one out of every 40 shows.

Really? Yeah, it's unbelievable. It's like, and it's usually like... Do you think that's because he's just not like listening or caring? I don't know what it is. It's just, he's hard to get a compliment from. If we have a porn star on, for sure he's complimenting. He's complimenting her?

Yeah, that's a little bit of an HR thing. No, you're, okay, so anyways, let's not get sidetracked. You have the first question, opening question. Oh. It says Mimi to Michael. Yeah, here we go. Come on, keep up here. If you could sit across from your 20-something-year-old self and give him one piece of advice, what would it be?

I've said this before. It's going to sound cliche. I'll say it again. I think you don't realize when you're young how much time you have. In my 20s, I was in way too much of a rush and cut way too many corners and thought that I needed to do everything right away. and here I am at 38, you know, getting close to 40, and I still feel like I've barely scratched the surface, and I have, you know, many more accomplishments since I was in my 20s. But I don't know, you feel this like, and maybe you feel this way, you feel this pressure, especially nowadays when you can see your friends and other people doing all these things to kind of do things much faster and sooner than maybe our parents or their parents would have and to kind of have this success quicker than maybe you deserve. And so I think, think that created a bunch of unnecessary stress in my life and it probably stresses a lot of people that are listening or watching as well that are in their 20s or even early 30s or even honestly 40s

where they just feel like they're not as far as they should be in life and I think I put a lot of unfair pressure on myself so if I could go back I would have said hey be patient take your time have a little bit more fun fail a lot mess up a lot enjoy being in your 20s because now as I'm older and I have like and I think like when I was my 20s I had like basically no responsibilities right like if you think if you think about it yeah I my responsibilities were make enough money so that you can scratch buy and pay one more months rent and go out to the bar one more weekend or whatever you like doing you made sure to do that yeah I did I did do that I did that on doing that but you know now as I'm much older I'm like okay well I've

got a company with, you know, close to 100 people that rely on me. I've got three kids now. I've got a wife. I've got family, extended family that rely on me. And if I do things that I rely on you to book the vacations. Yeah, exactly. I don't know where I'd be without you. Probably some gutter somewhere. Who knows? Who knows? No, you'd be fine. But I just like think back when I was that young, it's like, I only really had to worry about myself or like later, just more to me. But even honestly, like if you mess up as a young couple, it's like, what, you just like downgrade into a cheaper condo or a cheaper place. Like, it's easy to figure things out. I think that's a perspective that also people in their 20s should know. It's like you could literally go broke eight times in your

20s and be completely fine. I think that reminds me. You said this to me the other day when you're looking around like you were saying, there's people in your age range who were doing better and you're comparing yourself. But those people are the anomaly, not the norm. You said that to me. And it's like you're, it's like comparing yourself to something that's not realistic or it's not everyone. Yeah, it's like, you know, I was reading the paper today. God, I'm getting old. I was reading it. And there's this article about how you see, you know, these 30-year-old tech billionaires or millionaires or whatever, but you don't realize like the majority of people that have made that kind of wealth if you actually look at the data and like they're 60s and 70s and they're

much older. And so like you'll read these stories about some guy that created the great AI platform or somebody that has a big headline or whatever. And you think that that's like the norm of those people. And those are the outliers. Not to say that you shouldn't aspire to those kind of people but but yeah and so but anyways back i wish i would have been a little bit more patient and slowed down a little bit because like i said you could screw up so many times in your 20s like you could literally go through all of your 20s and mess up the entire time and end up in your at 30 and be like okay now i'm ready to start and nobody would penalize you like yeah that's normal like normal people get started in their 30s like no no older person is expecting you to have it all

figured out in your 20s. And so you might as well just like try and try and fail and mess around because when you get to the point where you actually have responsibilities, like I now have to be much more responsible with how I behave, how I think, the decisions I make. Like if I do something stupid and, you know, it puts the company at jeopardy people's lives and, you know, salaries could be hurt or if I do something that jeopardizes my family or whatever. So like there's things that I have to think about now. Where in when I was 20 is like, just do whatever you want. Not whatever you want, but you know what I mean. Yeah, within reason. within reason. So yeah, just be more patient. That's what I would tell myself. I like that advice.

All right. I got a question for you. You're living in your 20s right now. What's one thing you have learned that has shaped who you're becoming? There's two parts of this, okay? I think my early 20s, the most important thing that shaped who I am today was traveling and getting a new perspective. I feel like I wouldn't be the same person today if I hadn't have traveled and made that a priority. Even when I didn't have money, it's like I was living with my parents. parents, but I would rather travel than spend it on rent. And I think that that was the right thing to do because now I have a job and I'm more stable. I have a boyfriend. I can't just like, you know, fuck off to Italy over summer. And so I think that that was really important. And then

another thing is I try and be more grateful. I try and wake up every day. And the first thought, I try and control, I say, ah, my bed's so comfortable. Or like, ah, I'm so happy to be where I am. Or I'm happy to be at home. Or I'm happy. You know, my sheets are soft. whatever. It's normally about the bed because I don't want to get up, but regardless, it's positive. And I think that that helps shape my whole day. Well, it's good that you've figured it out early because a lot of people still haven't figured that out, even people older than me in the same age as me. Like a lot of people just never figure out that perspective and they go through life miserable and they choose to be miserable. And I really think that you make that decision. Like

everybody has circumstances, whether good or bad, but I think you really like, you get to choose how you feel about those circumstances. A lot of people choose the bad. way. Even my shittiest day is someone's best day. If you're listening to this podcast, that's the same. I mean, they're like, I've said on this show for years, like, if you have the ability to have a device that is listening to this or watching this, like your life is better than 90% of the world, right? People don't realize if you just look at the numbers. There's a book called factfulness. I know where you're getting to books later. And it's all about how the world's actually gotten better. And it's based on facts and numbers as opposed to worse. But a lot of people

just think the world's getting worse and worse and worse. But if you read this book, factfulness, factfulness. I think it's factual or factfulness? And you can look it up. It's a big red title. Do you think that's just more availability of people who have a platform to complain or like spread that? There's a book by Morgan Housel called Same as Ever and there's a chapter in there that I can't

remember the name of the chapter. You don't remember the name of the chapter? No, I know. What about the page number? Steel trap. I was on page 2013. I'm just kidding. But it was talking about how in the past the news you would read would be like from a local newspaper because that's all you had access to. So you would read about

like Tim at the tire store like saving a cat and you're like oh that's great yeah or you do like like Jenny at the ice cream shop like you know helped a kid you know for the broken leg or something he's like and then like you're fucked up town well like once in a while something bad would happen and it would like shake the town and then as it got bigger than it's like you'd read the city paper and then it was like the state and then like the country and now is like now the world so he was saying like what are the chances that something bad happens in a small town every day slim What are the chances that something bad happens in the world every day? Really great, like really high. And so what people focus in on now is like the bad things that happen every day because there's an abundance if you open up the worldview as opposed to like what we used to read, which is or see which was right in front of us or local. So there was, you know, it was more, it's not that more bad things are happening. It's that you can see those bad things happen in much more real time and much more abundantly because you're seeing the world news. That makes sense. Right. Like if there's a bombing over here and a murder over there and whatever over here, you read all about that stuff where in the past you would just like, you would just get bits and pieces. So it's not that there's more of it. It's that it's just more widely visible and reported on.

Which is maybe a good thing, but. Well, I think it just goes down to, it comes back to perspective. Like if your perspective is that everything in the world is bad all the time, then that will become your reality. Then everything in the world is bad all time. But if you also have the right to. to kind of look around and be like, what is good. There's, you know, our friend, Tanks, Sinatra, he has that, that, that meme account. Yeah, and he has this meme account, but he's also got, like, tanks, good news. Okay. And it's an account that just shares good news that's happened. I like stuff like that because, it's like, you don't have to always read about bad shit, you know? Anyways, all right, let's continue it on.

Okay. Was there a moment where you felt left behind and how did you work through it? I have an interesting ability, and I think this has honestly been, I have few superpowers, but if this is one of my superpowers, is I have the ability to pay very little attention to those around me, meaning like, I've never been in a business or a company or like even doing this show where I look at what other people are really doing. Like, I'm aware broadly. You know, if you ever see me get interviewed about one of the companies and like, and they asked me about my competitors, I kind of look like a deer in headlights because I, I'm aware that

there's people that compete in the spaces that we're in, but I don't really pay attention to what and how and with who that they're doing. I'm interviewing you right now. You don't look like a deer in headlights. Well, so anyways, so I think it's a superpower and maybe there's some advice here where I've never really felt left behind because I've never compared myself to anyone else or where anyone else is. And the reverse that I've talked about on the show, I will meet somebody that's further ahead or that has done more. And I am able to draw inspiration from that. So, like say I remember early on I met you know Gary V and he was doing his show and I remember being like super inspired by what he was doing on the Ask Gary V show and funny enough like the very first

interview that Lauren and I ever did together was on the Ask Gary Vee show in 2016 in our show launch right after but I remember like I wasn't like oh I'm not doing it my perspective was okay Gary's a decade older than me he's been doing this a lot longer than me super cool what he's doing and it was like one of the inspirations to do this did you know that you wanted to do a podcast when you went on that show? Like, was it already in the works? Or was that like, fuck, we need to do it right now? Yeah, we were listening to podcasts.

So we knew we were going to do the podcast before. But I would look at someone like him or Tim Ferriss or Rich Roll. Like a lot of the early guys or Rogan, like just people that we would listen to. And I would be inspired by what they were doing. And then like, as we've gone along, obviously there's a lot of people that have come into the space. And I always admire when people are able to do well. I never look at them like, oh, it's a, you know, I feel behind. I think you have to, I think the piece of advice that I would give to most people is you have to ask yourself daily or monthly or yearly, like are you a better version of yourself today than you were yesterday or last week? So like I'm a really, really tough competitor and I, and there's nobody that beats themselves up more. Like if I do something wrong, I promise you there's nobody that's harder on themselves than me. Like I, in my head, it's disgusting. It's like masochist almost. But I'm only competing with myself. So, I,

I will be like, I will say, okay, like, how do I be better than what I am today? How do I, you know, be better dad? How do I get in better shape? How do I, how do I build a bigger company? How do I earn whatever it is? Like, I'm competing against that. How do you get out of that headspace? That was another one of the questions.

It's when you're in a negativity headspace and you're not getting any external validation. I suffer through it. Like, I mean, I think like anybody that is trying to achieve anything in life that says they don't get bought. Like, I mean, listen, like, I have to do work to drag myself out of being in a negative space because my brain is wired in a way where if I don't, you know, pull myself out of there, I could get pretty negative. Again, not because of other external factors, but because of just how I am with myself. I'm hard on myself, right? I demand a lot for myself. I have a, like I will say, like, I want to achieve things in life, not for the material, but because like it's, I'm, the sport I chose to play is, again,

myself, right, and trying to be the best version. But yeah, I mean, like, sometimes, like, if I make a mistake or I do something that's not smart, or if I, you know, cut a corner, or if I get in a fight with my wife or if I'm, you know, impatient with my kids, like, I will beat myself up and I have to remind myself that it's, oh, it's just a mistake and it happens and you do the work to get out of it. One thing that I've noticed about you is that you move so fast. And so you'll be hard on yourself, like you're saying. Maybe it's, you know, you cut a corner and you're like, I shouldn't have done that. But you'll fret about it for two hours and then you'll never do it again or like you'll make it right. I think it's like you quickly

fix the situation. Instead of some people like me, sometimes all be bothered by something and be so stressed. I'm like, oh, I can't deal with this right now. And then it makes it way worse. I think it's important, well, thank you for saying that, but I think it's important for individuals when they make a mistake to not just tell themselves, it's okay. And maybe this is because I had a, you know, mother and grandmother who were hypercritical of those mistakes. Some, you know, I think I read an article again in the paper the other day. It's like the era of gentle parenting is gone and now it's the, I just sent you this today. The fuck around and find out era. I grew up in that fuck around and find out era.

You know what I mean? So I'm, it's kind of weird that is coming back. But, you know, I think we, and I've talked about this on this show, like, we're so quick to be like, it's okay. mistakes happen. We're okay as we are. Like, we're going to be, all that kind of stuff. When I do something that's wrong or it's a mistake, I don't tell myself that. I'm like, fuck, you are an idiot, man. Like, that was really stupid or like that was not okay or like you are in paid, whatever it may be. And I can take in the external, like if Lauren's on me or like somebody, if I do something, I can hear that. But what I'm saying to myself is way worse. But then to your point, I have the ability to take that feedback and be like, okay, learn from that and don't do that again.

right like I think the definition of insanity is keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result obviously didn't come up with that but when I see people consistently making the same mistakes in their businesses with their finances with their dating with the way that they show up in friendships with their children it's like at some point it the problem is not all the things around you it's it's probably you because you're not able to be critical of yourself and say hey like the way you're behaving is not okay so I'll make a mistake in business or my marriage or wherever, and I will beat myself up for an appropriate amount of time, one to three days, sometimes a couple hours, and then I will move forward and never think about it again. I also never beat myself up about the same thing. I'm not one of those people that keeps hitting myself and saying, oh, that's so I move on. Yeah. You're not lamenting over past mistakes. No, my dad always used to tell me when I was a kid, you can't drive a car looking in the rear view.

And like I firmly think that, like, I don't, it's like over next. Yeah. the mistake over next. Even with successes, I think you're that same way. In a way, you're not celebrating it for two weeks. You do the deal and then you're onto the next thing. I guess my psychiatrist is in here. I'm analyzing you. Well, yeah, I mean, but again, that probably goes, there's probably something a bit unhealthy and masochistic in there too, right? One thing I have learned, and maybe this is again some advice for younger people, is any time in my life that I thought I was going to reach an end point,

or a goal or like say you work really hard and you take that vacation or you buy that gift for yourself any time in my life that I've thought that that is going to drive happiness I've been let down every single time the only time not is when I had children it's the only time I can think of in my life where it's like you get there and it's like oh that was everything and more but every time I've either reached a financial milestone or done that great trip you've been on some of those trips with me when I'm like pissed off about the trip or or I've done you know something with the business I've never found the satisfaction I was looking for, but looking back, it's always been, and they say this, it's always the journey and all the stuff that I remember.

It's like the struggle and the things that you're doing along the way, that's where I find the most satisfaction. So I think people get into this trouble with money, right? They like think one day they're going to have X amount of money and all their problems are going to go away or they're going to be happy. Every time I've reached the next milestone of money, it has never changed one ounce of my happiness or satisfaction. It's devastating to hear.

Well, I think it's, but I think it's good for people to hear because a lot of people chase material things. Listen, I made, you know, it's like, I've done well, right? I'm, I've made enough money to take care of myself and my family without stressing about it. I've worked hard to do that. But my, but money as an end result has, has not brought me satisfaction or happiness. Once you get to the point where you can like cover your, your bills that stress, you know, your, your, your medical bills or your, your, you know, your, your, you know, your, it has not brought me. your rent or you know your groceries everything after that like you don't get some kind of crazy happiness from it's just it's really the it's the building blocks and the in the stuff along the way i think now you like to share things with people like you mentioned we wanted to have kids because we you wanted to have kids because you were going to the same place and you had seen the sunset there before and you wanted to have a new perspective and so it's kind of like you bring me along too. And you'll be like showing me something. And I think that that's a way to get happiness once you have reached that level. Well, I think, yeah, I mean, listen, again, for people in their

20s and maybe early 30s or whatever, like go have your fun, do your thing. Lauren and I had so much fun. We did all the things. We went to all the parties that we could go to and, you know, ran around and traveled as much as our budget would allow. But I remember sitting with her when we were like 31, maybe. I was almost been 30, 31. And I was like, hey, you know, we're just going to keep doing this, like there's this new wave of people that maybe don't want to have kids. I'm not going to pass judgment on them, but I would say that it's like how many vacations and experiences can go on to the same kind of places year after year after year until they get bored. And I remember looking at it and being like, we're just going to be sitting in these same kind of places and

these same kind of venues year after year. And at some point, it's like you have a massively diminishing return. So yeah, I mean, now, as I'm older, I want to share it with people and I want to show it to my kids and want to bring people along. And like, fortunately, we've done well enough where we can do that. But to me, just like sitting in a place with my wife over and over and over in the same place, it starts to become a little bit bapid, in my opinion. Yeah. But anyways, but do the things, though, too, because I see a lot of people on the reverse. Like, I have a lot of older friends that never did the things.

Like, maybe they worked, worked, worked. Or they're like, we're in a relationship really young. and then they either get, like, separated or, like, they make money. I see people doing that who are waiting to retire to live their life. That's a big thing. Yeah, and, like, I told Lauren, I had one rule. Like, I'm not going to be, like, the 50-year-old guy in the nightclub. Like, we can't, it's done.

You know, not that there's, some people want to do that. But I think front-loading it and scraping by in the beginning and then making it later is better than waiting to enjoy your life at the end, right? So that's, I don't know what the piece of advice is, but that's what we did. I think you can get into trouble if you're waiting to have fun until you hit this certain milestone and you're just like not living your life or enjoying it along the way. Yeah, because now I, my goal is to get invited to the least amount of things possible. Like, I ran into this guy in the gym today. Very nice guy.

Very successful guy. And he got my phone number and I was like, oh, God, I don't know. And he said, what's your email? and double hitter and then he's like and I'm going to be inviting you to this party and this get together and I was like oh my

the media I was like well how am I going to get out of this you know what I mean I don't even know what it is or what it's about but now I'm like I'm on the reverse I'm on the exit plan

and how many you know but the thing about you you say that but you'll get the invite and it depends on what's happening you'll go you're very extroverted it depends what's going on

yeah if Tom Cruise is there are you going Tom Cruz is going I will drop everything I will I will shut down and I will ruin

I will destroy every company to go whatever he's doing okay let's imagine Lauren's going into labor

but you have dinner plans with Tom Cruise she's already done it three times come on I think you mean that too if Tom Cruise

invited me to a dinner and Lauren was like if she was like hey I'm about to have our fourth child I would sit her down and say listen we've done this

three times Martin and it's been great but how many chances am I ever going to get you know what I mean you can always highly another kid even if not I've already done it you know that's the he I will die on this sword he is the white whale he's the white whale yeah greatest of all time who else is up there just him I was on a boat with all people of this is a funny he posted it so I'll tell the story I was on a boat with Jamie Fox I won't get into the details of this of the boat. But I asked him point blank because he's worked with a lot of people. I said, who's the white, like the number one? And he said number one, Tom Cruise.

Without you putting that in his head before? No, we were talking about like all the people he's worked with. And you said, Tom Cruise. No, yeah, but I said, is there anyone? I said, think about it. Is there anyone greater? And he's like, no, that's number one. Collateral was a great movie. Must have missed that one. I like interview with a vampire. Great movie. The thing about Tom Cruise is you could name 20 movies that are all different in all different periods of time and they're all still good and relevant.

Yeah. Can't do that with every actor. Some of the Mission Impossible's, it's like, we've done it. Yeah, but it's been spending like two or three decades and he's on like number eight. But he's got that kind of longevity. Yeah. Top Gun One. Top Gun 2. Great.

Clateral. Great. Risky business. Great. Cocktail. Jerry McGuire. Jennifer is great. Tropic Thunder. I don't know if I've seen that one.

I didn't know Tom Cruise was in that. Tom Cruise plays the guy like Les or Lex or whatever. He's like to get the big beard and he's like the big like angry business guy. Magnolia. Eyes Wide Shut. Oh, eyes wide shut. Yeah, I've seen that. Don't get me going here.

What's that one? Calm down. Even that one. Live die repeat. Is that the one with Angelina Jolie? Even night and days pretty good. It's a lot of like. live, die.

It's very hardcore. He has a genre. I just rattled like, I mean, there's probably like 30 I'm missing. Okay, let's move on. Okay. I could go on about, we can make a whole episode about this. We know. Okay.

What's your take on the idea of outgrowing people? I think that you have to distinguish between being in different stages, outgrowing, and then like maybe friendships or relationships that turn toxic. okay so like we'll start with like friendships that turn toxic there are some friends and relationships that you will have and as that relationship unfolds either your life's change or the way you think about life changes or people mature at different levels and you know maybe as that's going on one of the friends becomes bitter or resentful and starts to kind of diminish the other person or put down the other person or kind of like cheer for their downfall behind their back like in those

instances I'm pretty cut throat and I'm like you got to be able to cut ties and walk family how do you know is it one instance if you're with somebody consistently that you know is not happy for you and even taking it a step further and hoping that you stumble in life or that something doesn't go well for you then I think that and everyone has that kind of person in their life at some point then you then you have to decide like hey and I said family including because sometimes this happens with family. You have to be able to cut ties with those people. Now, I also have relationships with some of my best friends from childhood where many of us are in different places. One of my best friend, Stephen, you know? Shout out Stephen. He's in Chicago. He's doing

amazing things with the restaurant. We haven't seen each other in six years, which is crazy for me to think about it. It was like my daughter's almost six. It's one of my best friends in the world. If I saw him tomorrow, we would pick up where we left up like nothing else happened. We don't get to talk as much. We send each other memes here in a while. But in that instance, it's like we, he's in a different state. I'm a different state. He's doing his thing. I'm doing my thing. I think in those instances, you got to be like, let's put the, let's just pump the brakes and be on pause for a second. Maybe nice to check in a little bit more, but I'm not, you know, it's okay. Like, it doesn't mean like we have to like be in different, we don't have to stop being friends. We don't

have to not be close. We also don't have to call attention to it and be like, oh, why haven't I seen? There's nothing worse than a high maintenance. I've been like, I haven't seen you. You didn't call it's like people people will get busy especially as you get older for young people in their 20s this is worth hearing because as people get into their 30s and they start to get into serious relationships and they start to have families and kids and start to do businesses like you only have so much attention so you know the girls trip that you used to go on every week like that maybe those become less or like picking up the phone and having a guy's night every week it's going to maybe that's going to change right I think the friends who make you feel bad about those decisions

are the ones that get left behind or you outgrow yeah I mean I mean, if you can't sit down with one of those people and say, hey, love you, respect you, you, wish we could spend more time, but this is going on, then I think you just, you know, you have to, you, that's, that's maybe a red flag. It's a selfish friend, I think. Yeah, because a good friend, in my opinion, recognizes the stage, like, again, my friend, Stephen, if you hear this, Stephen, he's, I could be like, why haven't you come seeing my kids and why haven't done this? Why haven't done this? But I know right now he's trying to create his bar and his restaurant, he's living in different state and it's hard and it requires a lot of effort. like I get it. Like I've been there. There was a stage, you know, when I was trying to do those things. And so I don't beat him up about it. And I think like that's what a solid friendship is.

Like to me, the best friendships are the ones where it's like, if you saw them yesterday or a year from now, you could pick up like nothing happened with no pressure, no real demands on the friendship. And then I think as it goes for outpacing people, and this is just a sad truth of life. I remember looking at Lorne one time and saying, hey, just so you know, some of the friends you have aren't going to be able to follow where you're going. And some of the And I don't mean that from a financial perspective. I just mean from like a lifestyle perspective. You know,

some of the friends wanted to continue to stay single and run around and, you know, maybe not do the things she's doing like building a family and having kids. And same with me. Like I do not get invited to the guy's golf trip, whatever the hell they're doing. Not that I want to. Please don't invite me. I do not, you know, I'm not out on the weekends at the bars all the time. I'm now in a marriage for a long time with three small children running a company.

And we've talked about on the show. I have to pick and choose. I have some of my best friends are single, childless, and doing all those things. So we're just at different stages of our life and that's okay. At one point, they're going to get into the situation I'm in. I'm going to have older kids. We hope. We hope.

We do hope. And we're rooting for you guys. Again, you just have to, I think to me, the definition of being a good friend is I'm there. if you really need me. I like to think that if one of my close friends picks up the phone and calls me for something

within reason, you know, not some absurd thing, but if like I can help them that I'm there in two seconds, but there's also not the demand of me being at every birthday party or every get-together

or every barbecue or whatever the hell they're doing. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think it's immature when people do that to other people. And the friendships that I've pulled away from

is when people are like really high maintenance like that. Same with Lauren. I think like I'm not going to speak for but I kind of will actually. like the friendship she's pulled away from her is like when there's someone that's immature and not recognizing the stage of life that she's in yeah like a friend of mine hi Alex I'll just call that Alex he's like hey I know you just had your third kid but me and the guys are going to

Europe for like two weeks do you want to bounce around with us for a while I'm like yeah sure let me go tell Lauren that I'm going to leave her with the newborn and the two the three year old and the five home from summer yeah I'm just going to bounce around in Europe with you guys I'm like I might as well just like should just kill me yeah just like I'll just know she would say go have fun. Yeah, that's like terrifying. But like that's an absurd thing. You'd come back. It'd be like when the Grinch comes into Cindy Lou's house, there'd be like an olive left in the house. But that's like an absurd thing to ask them. But again, I can't hold it against him because he's still single without kids. So like he just doesn't get, you know, again, if you don't have children,

you don't have that responsibility. Like you would think like that, of course you could go for two weeks and just like bounce around you're up without your wife. But he doesn't care. He invites you because he wants to be around you. He's like hoping you come, but he's not. He's not planning on it. The chance that I would have said yes are 0.0. Like there was not even like, you know. He's always holding out hope.

It was 0.0% chance. He's going to listen to this. You think so? Yeah. You think he listens to every episode? He's a good friend. Yeah. He talks to me about, he'll tell you.

Really? Yeah. Oh my gosh. That's the thing. I'm not high minutes, but I force all of my friends to listen to every episode I put out. I'm just kidding.

I don't. What's going on with this? thing on your wrist? This is my Apollo neuro. You can't see it. I have discovered this recently because I measure my sleep scores and all these things. And everything is like really good except my HRV. What's that?

It's your heart rate variable. And you want it to be, I think it has to do with stress. And so it's not bad, but everything else that I've been working on is good. And it's like average, my HRV score. And so this helps with stress. It helps with deep sleep. It helps with like your nervous system, a nervous system regulation. Lauren thinks the next big thing is going to be nervous system regulation.

And so apparently. What is your nervous system? How does how do you regulate it? What do you mean? I don't know. Is that when you make chemicals that are. That's why my nervous system is all fucked up probably. That's why I'm wearing this thing.

I thought you had high cortisol. Is that what it's saying that your HRV is bad because of that? Actually. Or high adrenaline? A lot of times people with cortisol. cortisol issues is because they don't have high enough cortisol in the morning, because they're not getting enough sunlight or whatever. I'm sure you have cortisol in the morning. I've been misfortune enough to experience it. I've heard that I can't switch off that well. So it's like always on. And so I need to do things to slow down.

And so what this does is it slowly vibrates on you. And you can wear it at your ankle for sleep to help you sleep and stay asleep. And then in the day it helps, it's vibrating right now. And it gives you. like you do some for focus, you could do some for stress. It's vibrating because you're doing something bad? No. You have these programs on your phone and then we'll jump off because people are like, what are you talking about? It's called the Apollo Neuro. The Apollo Neuro is a wearable device that uses gentle, low frequency vibrations to help regulate your nervous systems.

It's designed to improve stress resilience, HRV, sleep quality, focus, and calm, recovery, and mood. And they have different programs. So I'm testing it right now. Interesting. Yeah, feel pretty good on it, actually. Let me know how you like it. I'm probably going to be sold out now that I've just plugged it on this show. It's going to be, you're going to crush it.

It sounded like an ad. You should have got stock in the company. Yeah. Bigness, Carson. Should have called that out. Another L for Carson. Let's talk about Just Thrive. Is that cookie calling your name at 3 p.m.?

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I wanted to talk to you about books today because this is one of your favorite things to talk about, I think, and it's something that you do when you're trying to unwind, right? So, first of all, I want to know how many books you read a year. Because you love to brag about this one. No, I don't. I don't. I don't love to brag about it.

I try at a minimum to read at least one book per week. But I don't get stuck on the numbers because what if you read a book that is like 1,500 pages versus one that's like 250 or 300? Yeah. And some are more dense than others. But I try, I'm doing this new reading challenge that I really have to post and I don't know what it's called apologies. I found it online somehow. And it's basically like this form that you fill out that has that you have to. So like one of them will be like you have to read a science fiction book. Another one would be like you have to read a book that won the Pulitzer Prize. One has one's like it's a book that starts with a number. Another one's like a young adult novel, which is how I ended up reading the fourth wing, which we'll talk about. I didn't I didn't realize it wasn't young adult. It says you have to read a classic. So, like, I read in Cold Blood this year. This is, like, a classic. And it, anyways, it's like 40 books.

And you have to, and what it does is it forces you to read, like, really different things. Because as I've gotten older and gone along, like, I found myself a lot of time, like, reading the same genres over and over and over, or, like, the same kind of things. Like, I remember in my, in, like, 2015, I must have read, like, nothing but business books. And then I got really sick of them. And then, like, maybe 2016, I read, like, nothing but self-help. But I think, like, you get stuff. So now I do this thing where it like forces me to like figure out how to read different things. I like I don't know.

It exposes you. Call it like 40 to 50 books a year. Okay. Nothing too crazy. What's one book that completely change the way you think about business? Well, there's a book called How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. It's a really good book and it's an older book. Was it, it is Dale Carnegie that wrote it or Napoleon Hill as well?

one of those guys. That was how to make friends and influence others. So a lot of people know, okay, so it's, so it's Dale Carnegie. So a lot of people know him from how to win friends, how to make friends and influence people. What is that? What is it called? Influence others. And influence others. And that's a like great book and that's classic and everyone should read it. But he wrote a book that I like better called How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. And as somebody who in my younger years was a perpetual warrior or stresser and still am sometimes, it's an older book. And it like basically points out the, flaw in worrying all the time and why it's like pretty useless and also doesn't do anything

but make you worry more and hurt you more. And so that I like that book. And I find myself like once in a while I'll like open my Kindle and go back and just like read a random page or a chapter. So whenever I find myself like stressed or worried or thinking too far into the future, I'll read that book. And I think it's like it's a really good shift because for someone who's wired to kind of like overthink or overstress, which is a lot of people, it's a helpful book. And it's old. It holds up the test of time. But yeah, he's that one gets overlooked because. he had the other one, which is such a massive hit. Okay.

That one. There's others. I'm adding that to my list. Never read that one? I never told you that one? Maybe you've told me. I definitely read how to make friends and influence others. Okay. Okay. Maybe this is the same sort of thing, but is there one book that you constantly revisit or reread or go back to? I have one that you told me about. You got me the Daily Stoic, and I go back to the Daily Stoic all the time. I love the Daily Stoic.

anything. Okay, so this is going to sound like a strange thing. So two of my favorite authors are James Clavel and Larry McMurtry and their fiction writers primarily, but Larry McMurtry run the Pulitzer Prize for Lonesome Dove and James Clavel just, that shows Shogun is based on his, it's an old book, but he's got Shogun and Taipan and Noble House. And I go, they're really long, dense books, but I go, I've read each of them probably like three or four times because they just hold up so well. Also, anytime I'm kind of like feeling like, stuck in life. I like history a lot and I love Robert Green and I've had the pleasure of meeting him. I like to read power or 33 strategies of war or mastery. So I go back to those. Even like his

human laws of human nature, those ones all I go back to pretty regularly. But also how to stop worrying, start living. Think and grow rich. Like the class, like I find myself going back to the classics a lot. But I like if I need to like just like decompress and I want to like read something good, I'll read something by Larry McMurtry or James Clavel. When I was first dating my boyfriend, if he was doing something, I would go and read a chapter in the laws of seduction. If he's taking too long to respond, I would go and be like, how to like create distance for attraction. I've heard that's the only one of his books that I haven't read. Not because I don't. You're not trying to seduce your wife?

Wouldn't it be weird if like Lauren popped in the room and I was like neck deep in the laws of seduction? No, it wouldn't be weird. Lauren would be like, It's weirder when you're reading Fourth Wing. Yeah, okay. Granted, fourth wing was a little weird.

No, but I mean, I just feel like I don't need to be out there seducing people. You could always seduce your wife a little bit. No, I know that, see,

now I'm going to get to hold it. But I'm just saying, like, if she was like, what are you brushing up on there, buddy? You know what I mean? Yeah. Anything can and will be used against you.

Maybe I'll read it. I heard it's good for other, like just, I mean, listen, I'm sure Robert Green's a genius, so I'm sure it's all good. Yeah. That's the one I would read, though, like on a caveat, like on a tangent. If I was struggling with

dating or single, I would read that one. See, a lot of people think 48 laws of power is if you're building a business, wrong. If you want to be, his best business book, in my opinion, is 33 strategies of war. So if you're starting a business or building a business, power is more about a life. And also, if you've already established some power or don't want to lose power, that's a good one. If you're trying to figure out your path in life and you don't really know, mastery is the best one. And then if you're just trying to understand humans in general and just be more rounded in life, I think laws of human nature. But a lot of people think 48 laws of power is like it is about attaining power, but it's also about keeping power. So

for me, it's like you've got to figure out the mastery part and then the business part, which is, you know, that's what I would do first with him. I've never read mastery. It's great for people that are like if you're confused on what your life path is and what your career should be, like that's the best one. if you could tell you're a 20-year-old self to read one book, what book would it be? Well, okay, I already said Lonesome Dove. I would just usually go to that one. But honestly, if I could tell my 20-year-old self, there's a really interesting book. So I read Titan by Ron Chernow, which is Rockefeller's biography. That's not what I'm telling people to read. But it was a good book. That was a great book. But it inspired me to go down a rabbit hole of Rockefeller. because he did so many crazy things. It was obviously the wealthiest person in the world at one point.

But I discovered that there was this book that was produced either by his son or like somebody who knew his son or the grandson called 33 letters from Rockefeller to his son. I'm going to butcher that. It's something along those line or seven. I think it's 33, seven, whatever the numbers are. Emily, maybe we can link it in the show notes at some point. But what's crazy is these were letters that John D. Rockefeller wrote to his eldest son in real life that he gave to him privately that he never thought were going to be

published. So some of them are on integrity. Some of them are on building a business. Some of them are on dealing with stress. Some of them are on whatever. And what's so interesting is like you're in the mind of the wealthiest person in the world that amassed all of this power that did all of these things in life that is giving his direct advice to his self. He said, son that he thinks nobody else but his son will read. And so I think they were really fascinating because it wasn't just about business. It was about just like life and how he saw it in general. And they're really good because I think it's even better that he didn't realize they were going to be published. So intimate. Yeah. And it's like, and you know that you're getting somebody's

absolute best advice because they're giving it to the person that they love the absolute most. You know what I mean? So it's like the only intention is for that person to be happy, successful, all of those things completely without regard to like the public ever seeing it. Yeah, there's nothing to gain for them from that. Yeah, and so there's like a ton of advice. I mean, I think like you can read each letter one by one

and so if you're just getting into reading or if you're in your 20s or honestly, even if you're older, it's just an, it's a really interesting book to read because you get basically the greatest advice from one of the most powerful, well-accomplished people

in the world at the time to his son. That's what I would recommend. I love that. It's a weird one. You should be doing that for your boys. Write them letters. I'm sure you are. Dear son, when your mother is angry, never text her, calm down.

Oh, God. You don't do that. I've done it. I live life on the edge. You live to tell the tale. It didn't go well. Yeah. Okay.

So now let's get to. what everyone wants to know they want to know your thoughts on fourth wing well first of all I thought it was a young adult novel it's not people are going to be mad you said that

it's romantic see I read the whole thing just the first book just the first book it's part of my reading challenge the girls in the office were like really like flabbergasted that I read it they were freaked out in a good way or like a creepy way

oh god so what did you think I have thoughts I can see why it's so so here's how it all happened I'm doing my reading challenge that I mentioned to you earlier and I'm filling out the thing

and I'm like okay well what's a young adult novel I don't know so I was like on Amazon and you see that book everywhere right it's just like so I figured okay I'll just like read

like that looks popular so that's the one I'll choose so I did it and I was reading it and I'm like cool okay like dragons and like knives and fighting

and scribes and like I like that stuff I love, like, I read Lord of the Rings. I read this other one. Oh, my God, what's this other one? You know, I read, I read, like, a lot of stuff. You like Dune a lot. I love Dune.

I read all the Dunes. And then there's, you know, I read all these, like, different fans. So I'm like, cool, this is like right at my alley. And then I'm thinking it's a young adult novel. And I'm like, okay, it's like not, like, maybe a little advance. And then all of a sudden, these two just start having ridiculous sex. Like, they're going at it. Like, it's like, this is like, this is like, this is like,

X-rated stuff. She's like blowing the dude and she's the he's going. It's all crazy stuff. Are you loving it a little bit? No, I'm sitting well, I'm like sitting there next to Lauren. I'm like I felt like am I supposed to be reading this? I felt like like copping a feel. I felt like I was 12 years old getting caught watching HBO back in the day. You guys don't remember this because you're,

all the young kids now have computer. But back in the day like you would turn on your TV and you'd put it to like showtime or Cinemax at night. And then you'd like set your remote where you could hit last. in case your parents came in. If your parents were, you hit last and it like goes back to Nickelodeon or something. I felt like I was reading the fourth wing, laying next to Lauren at night, just mind him, and that scene happened.

And I look over, I felt like I was doing something wrong. Do you think those scenes add to the story, or could you do without it? I don't really want to say how I honestly feel, because I feel like girls are going to, like women in particular are going to get mad at me. You know what? Men read this book too, obviously. Your dad read it. You can just say girls. No, but I mean like it feels to me like the woman who wrote it Rebecca Yaros

is like maybe not so well versed in the world of real sex okay is that fucked up to say no like she's meaning like I'm sure like I don't think it's supposed to be real sex though it's supposed to be sex like it was a little over the top

she's like lightning's shooting all over the windows are blowing out like I was like she's all right come on now she's setting the bar high yeah I'm like come on this dude's probably got three minutes in him The windows are like, it's just, it was just a little over the top. Drew is dying because I was reading that book and he's like so like hot and mysterious and powerful and I'm reading it in bed, like kind of getting like, I'm like, oh my God, like this guy's amazing thinking about him.

And Drew comes into the room and he's like singing a little song like dancing around. You're mad that Drew can't wield shadows? Yeah. Honestly, I was like, I wish you were him. Why can't you be him? Well, maybe he wishes that you could shoot lightning out of your eyes or whatever. No, she makes the clouds happen. Yeah.

She's like one of those things that you touch and like it. See, like so I, okay, so then the reason I kept going with it is I said, okay, well, it is, I do like the dragons. I like that she had the one gold one and the one big gray one is gray. Yeah. And I like the other one. Taryn. Yeah. And I like that part.

And then I'd be like, cool, I'm into this again. Like, okay, we're fighting. We're fighting the dragons. They're shooting. There's fires. And then it'd be like, all right, now I'm on my back again up against it wherever she was. It's just like every, I couldn't figure out. Oh, my back.

I couldn't figure out what was going on. Like, it was like every time. So, yes, I will finish the trilogy because I'm in it now. There's a lot of questions, lots of theories going on. I knew the, I'm not going to spoil the end. How do you know the end? I knew the end. I knew what was going to happen at the end.

It was, that's towards the end, I'm like, okay, well, we saw that coming. Yeah. I mean, obviously, they were hinting at the whole time. There's three books out. I don't think talking about the first one's like a big spoiler. No, but I'm not going to know if people get mad about the spoilers. just know that she climaxes really hard and lightning shoots everywhere

and it changes the world it changes the world and yeah so I don't know I guess the it's a big big talk in the office because they're excited about it maybe they'll hear this now and they won't be happy about my assessment

I don't think people are reading it for the sex scenes but it does add a little fun no no no no they're reading it now okay the dragon stories are good, but I would think that maybe it wouldn't be as far as it is without some of these lightning spraying climaxes everywhere. Yeah. You're probably right. What is that? Why do girls love to read that? So do you guys like get together and be like, hey, like we're all like secretly reading this dragon book, but like it's like really good like nobody talks about the sex scenes.

You only talk about like the plot. You're not like, oh my God, that was so crazy when he was, I don't know. You know who irritated me the whole time? Who? Dane? Dane. Oh, yeah, that guy. You kind of remind me of him a little bit. No, I'm not a Dane. Maybe.

He's like a total rule. He bothered me every time he's just lingering around in the corner. Yeah. He's such a rule follower. He's like a guy that sits in the corner and a threesome and just in the shadow in the corner. Yeah, a cuck. He's like, that guy. That's honestly so true.

Yeah, that's what he was. The whole book. I'm like, why is this guy here all the time? You think Dane's a cuck. He was annoying. He was like, don't go on the roof. Don't do that. Don't get hurt.

Oh, my God. It fucking bothered me. Oh, my God. Tell us how you really feel. Yeah. Okay. Here's another question. Okay.

If you could live in one book world, what book would it be? Probably the Dune World. Would you want to be like Timothy Shalameh? Isan Al-Galib? Well, yeah, obviously. But Lisa Nalga-Hia. Yeah. No, because I just feel like they have like the most advanced tech.

More than Star Wars? Well, once you get later into the series, too, there's these big creatures that like live in like tanks. The Harkinen? No, no. And they drive the spaceships around. But I feel like that would be like the coolest world because it feels like everything is so advanced there. Okay. Not the dragon world. That doesn't seem that fun. I think the dragon world would be cool. What if you were a dragon... But it does seem tough. Like they have to heat the bath with like magic. I imagine lots of smells. What if you were like one of the, but what if you were a dragon person that had like really

shitty powers and you just had to live in that one you know that'd be a bummer at least you could be like a normal person in the dune world and be like i'm watching like the best like watching a concert here by myself like on another planet yeah but like some of them the sand people don't live in fancy rooms that's a tough life i would be in like space maybe i'd be a harkening because i'm a villain you have the body for it fuck off we could do the last book that made you cry? Well, you know, there's like books like, there's a book called Not Fade Away. When Breath Becomes Air, I think that's a good one. That was like such a good book. There's a really good book. There's one called, which I've said a million times, man search for meaning, which I think everybody

should read all like anybody who's anybody, 20s, 30s, 40, anyone, because it'll give you real perspective, Victor Frankel. I'm not that like everyone talks about that book, but if you're struggling and you think your life is bad or that your life is unfair or that you're going through something hard. Like read that book and you'll never feel bad for yourself again. Okay. Really. Went through the Holocaust, lost his whole family, survived it, ended up writing about it. If you read that book and you still think your life's tough, then you can't be saved.

What are you reading right now? Are you still reading? I regret almost everything. No, I finished that book. I just finished this book called Havana Nocturn, which was about the American Mafia. In Cuba, I'm reading The Power Broker. I'm reading... You like to read, I think this is something else that's unique about you.

You read like one book, like you're saying, the Power Broker, which is this certain genre. And then you're reading another genre, and you mix it up. I did a blog post a while ago called The Three Book Theory on Lauren's blog. You can look it up. I like to read three books at the same time, not obviously sitting at the same time. Oh, so this is like a thing you purposely do. I'm not just noticing this. I thought I was a student.

I purposely do it because, okay, say you want to read like a really dense biography. It's really hard to like sit through that the whole time and actually get through it. So a lot of people give up. First, you should quit a book that sucks. If you don't like it, just quit it. You're never going to read all the books in the world. So if you feel, a lot of people feel this weird anxiety that feel like finish every book. The book sucks.

Get rid of it. But say you like the book, but it's really dense and it's just like exhausting. So like I'll read a dense biography and then maybe I'll read like a fiction and I'll take breaks with that. and then I'll read like a self-help or a non-fiction or a history, and I'll rotate them. So like at any given time, I'm reading the three books in the same time. Like, I don't feel like I can only read one before I read the other. I'm like, I'm tired of reading this one. So let me jump to the fiction to like get a little break.

Or if I'm going to bed and I want to fall asleep fast, but like let me get that like dense history book that's going to put me to sleep after four pages. So you think that maybe helps you finish more books because then you're not forcing yourself? Yeah. And I also think that like a mistake people make with reading is they read the same. kind of writer in the same kind of genre over and over and over again. You're like, okay, so like, if you like Rebecca Yaros, like, you probably read that. I'm in that right now.

Yeah, so you read that and all those in a row, and then you probably read that other one that, but like, already read it. The red title or the red book with a yellow. A court of thorns and roses. Yes, you probably read that. Like, you just do the same thing over and over. And what happens is, like, you get this myopic view of just like one set of reading. And to me, like, that over time also becomes exhausting because then you've like exhausted

all those. So you've got to like open the horizons. I think there's a time and a place. though. You can like binge all the books for a few months and then move on. Yeah, I mean like I remember when I read like when I was a kid when I read Lord of the Rings you read I read all of them or like Game of Thrones before that guy quit writing all of them I read but but anyways the point is like if you just do this like Lauren likes to read biography after biography of like Hollywood people. I'm like oh. She's mixing it up. She just

suggested a fiction to me. Yeah. I like I think a book should be like if it's too easy to get through and it's just entertaining like a beach read those don't hold my attention but it should be just challenging enough where it like stresses your reading comprehension we're like oh this one's a little hard because that's how you're going to learn to read faster and further it's easy all the time it's probably because you're not reading challenging enough stuff yeah it's not giving you anything back what's next okay what's one thing you're working on right now that you would be proud of yourself in your 20s i don't know if i would have been proud of myself in my 20s but i think i'm doing like I think I'm working really hard to do things for not just myself, but for others, right?

Like I'm doing, you know, like we do different charitable things. We do, which we don't talk about all the time. We're doing, you know, things for our, we're building a family. We're doing, you know, we're building these companies and, you know, not only just like servicing yourself, but uplifting others. I think like when you're in your 20s, you're so focused on just taking care of yourself. And unfortunately, a lot of times when you're, as you grow older, like many people still stay just being focused on taking care of themselves. I think that you're, the biggest thing that I've learned is that you can take care of other people and actually have just as much success, if not more, but almost by accident.

So, like, what I've learned over time is the more you help other people and the more you, like, raise other people up and the more you put other things out there that, you know, bring enrichment to other people's lives, it actually like ends up taking care of you. but a lot of times people get so focused on only themselves that they never kind of get past that next level. So I think I'd be proud that I've kind of like gotten myself out of the prospect of just servicing ourselves. And, you know, sometimes even things that may look self-serving, like we do a show and we have things that we have to like self-promote. But I don't think people, a lot of people don't see the behind the scenes.

I mean, you know, even if I think about Dear Media, that there's a hundred other podcasts or in shows besides Lauren and I, then there's an argument to be made that I could have maybe just service to our show forever but like we we take chances and help build other people up we didn't have to so i don't know i think that building family doing things beyond just ourselves i'd be i'd be proud as a 20 i would maybe at 20 i wouldn't even think that i'd be doing stuff like that yeah that's not something you maybe had on your goal sheet but yeah i was a bit of a selfish prick at 20 20s for sure i think it's up until i was like 25 and then i went through like a mid mid mid year a mid everyone's

selfish until they're 25 don't you think yeah i think i think i think i think you i think you can be again because you don't your perspective is like you only have to worry about yourself until then you know but that's fine I think one thing that I regret from my 20s is sometimes I felt like I was trying to grow up too fast and I wish that I would have just like enjoyed the moment a little bit more I wanted to be in the next step and I wasn't appreciating that it was just having fun in low stakes yeah and like the funny thing is is I'm probably you know I've gotten better at it, but I'm probably still thinking the same, like that similar thought patterns now, which is why it's helpful to see, like, I listen to a lot of people that are further along

than us, and I, I always get excited when you have a guy that's in his late 40s or late 50s or even 60s saying, like, hey, I still feel so young and still have so much time. I think it's, like, helpful to know, because you, again, you start to compare and you see all these people that are so much further along, and you're like, oh, I got to do it right now. And funny enough is, like, when I meet somebody in their early 20s. Like somebody that comes to me and tells me they have it all figured out in their early 20s or like the 25 year old life coach.

Like you kind of like scoff at those people and like write them off. I like when someone comes and they're like, I'm hungry. I want to learn. I know I don't know everything. I'm confident that I'll figure something out but I'm also not so sure.

I like that person and that kind of perspective. I wish I had more of that when I was a kid. I read this book. I think you had him on the podcast. Alex Banyan. He wrote The Closing Door. I thought that was like so smart when he was in college he went to interview people that were super smart yeah like

Steven Spielberg and Bill Gates it's one of my favorite things about doing the show is like meeting people that are further ahead and getting that perspective yeah I think that's smart I agree do you think that's made a big impact on your personality what like having the show and having all these experiences I was talking to Lauren about this the other day I think you can see a direct correlation from the time we started the show to where we are now in terms of

maturity and I don't want to use the word humble because that's not going to people are not growth no but really honestly in a lot of ways we've been humble doing the show but you know when you self-promote it when you have a show that's front facing people that people aren't going to

take that adjective seriously but I but I do think there is a little bit of that But no, I think that I've learned more doing this show, cramming all of these conversations and interviews than like I could have ever learned in college or at one singular job. Because think about all the different experiences and perspectives that are constantly being bombarded. And a lot of times, like I'll even forget that, you know, because we've done almost a thousand of the, how many have we done?

900. 870. That's a lot, right? That's like a lot of, a lot of podcasts. And so imagine like close to, and I would say. say 800 of them at least have been with guests, probably. Maybe, or like just be, let's say less. Let's say 750 or 700. That's like 700 different perspectives of different expertise is going into your brain every single week for close to 10 years. Do you remember everyone who's been on?

Like if you saw them in a moon or a room? No, no. No, I'm sorry. How would you? Do you remember all 800 people that you've met? I barely even remember you. It's pushing it. I was going to say face guy, but that's not even true either. I was going to say face and no no I mean listen like sometimes you're more of an ass guy is that what you wanted to say like if you bring yeah yeah for sure like if you bring so if you bring a conversation up mostly I will remember it and a lot of times I will remember the person but with context but with context yeah but I mean like who's who remembers all like can you can you guys remember 800 different people you've met

in different conversations I should be better at it but also getting up there in the years yeah I could lie and say I remember every single one you would you would probably say nice to see you again I would always say nice to see you again even if I didn't know if I met you that's just a secret about me your dad's really good at that my dad is the worst at that he's the absolute worst at that no I think he's good now my dad I've literally seen him go to people that he's met four times and say who are you I've really the worst I'm putting on blast Lauren's also the worst yeah Lauren and my dad are like the same person in that way. Lauren's learned it so many times to just say, nice to see you. They don't mean to be rude. It's just like their personalities, you know? Yeah. They just like

doesn't register. I think that's like a creative thing. I have banners. I will say nice to see you. But you have no idea who they are. No, I do most of the time. But even if I don't, you'll never know because I'll always say it's good to see you. Keeping everyone in mystery. Today's episode is brought to you by Thorn, the brand trusted by top performers, elite athletes, and people serious about their health. Thorn is a part of my nighttime routine. My kids ask for vitamin water every night, and the vitamin water that we use is Thorne's magnesium bisglycinate. It's a highly absorbable form of magnesium that supports muscle recovery and stress resilience and deeper, more restorative sleep. I love this magnesium. Michael actually introduced it to me like, I don't know, like four years ago,

I want to say. And we take it every single night. It's become a ritual. We put the red light on. We have our 528 hertz playing. The kids love it. It's the best magnesium, in my opinion, it's the easiest to absorb. I notice like I immediately get like sleepy, which is so nice. I think it helps me with recovery, especially when I'm lifting. There's no unnecessary fillers or junk. It's just what your body needs. If you have not tried it out, too, it's like the perfect taste. I can't even describe it. Ready to level up your performance, check out Thorn's magnesium, bisglycinate, and more at thorn.com. Disclaimer, these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

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How is my skin? You know what? This sunscreen, it's caffeinated, it's mineral, and it does not pile under makeup. I applied it today with a damp beauty blender before I got my glam done, and it lays so nicely under like a foundation or a concealer. But here's the thing. But here's the thing. that I like the most about it. So when I'm off work and when I don't have to do podcasts or Instagrams or content or I just can just be comfortable, I can wear this caffeinated sunscreen and I still get a really nice tint and a protection. And it looks like my skin is all one even tone, which is nice without all the makeup. It's not like a foundation. It's like the caffeine tightens your skin. It gives you a nice even tone and it just gives you a little bit of color. So what I like

about this sunscreen is the versatility. So you can wear it when you're off and you're running around and you're running errands and wear it with nothing over it or you can wear it like I'm wearing today right now with foundation and concealer over it. So it works both ways. I will wear this when I'm going to the gym in the morning and just wear it throughout the day with nothing else or I will wear it with a full look. I created the sunscreen because I couldn't find a mineral-based sunscreen with caffeine in it. Caffeine tightens the skin. It shrinks the pores. And I just like how it lays on the skin. And I mixed it with a mineral sunscreen. And then we made it SPF 40. So it's a real treat. I think that you guys will absolutely love it. It just comes out in a pump, fits in your handbag,

and it can go through the airport. You can shop this at Shop Skinny Confidential. And it's the caffeinated SPF. Also, if you're like me and you go through sunscreen quickly, you can subscribe. And the sunscreen will get delivered straight to your door so you don't have to worry about it. That's shop skinny confidential.com. What's one thing you did in your 20s that you laugh about now? Something embarrassing or something that you're just like, oh, why did I do that? Nightclubs.

Wasting money at nightclubs? Wasting money in nightclubs. A lot of guys do that. Also, though, like a lot of girls go out to and be bottle rats, you know? Bottle rats. I've never heard that. People know what they're talking about, especially the millennials listening. Guys and girls.

The guys, myself included, are doing the dushy thing, standing up there and making some kind of stupid, sparkly show. We still do, to be honest, we still, like, we'll do it once in a lot. I was like, this is reminding me last year. And you're wasting a lot of money that, by the way, like you don't have. I remember, like, getting the credit card bills all, when I was in my 20s, I'd get at the end of the month, like, oh, shit, I got to, you know, like, you're like on the edge if not going under. And you realize, like, that was unnecessary and it didn't impress anybody. I will say, and then also probably there's, on the other side, the bottle rats regret probably being ratty around the bottles, you know, like doing behaviors and things that they shouldn't be doing. So there's doing anything to get a sip of that, sarah.

Yeah, sarah. Surrog. I don't regret all of those times because there was a lot of fun and I met a lot of people and got it out of my system I never have to go back and do that again

until next year because imagine if you don't do it and then you're 50 or 60 going through a divorce or splitting up and then you're doing the bottle rat thing or you're doing the club sparkly thing

that's not a good look It's a bad look no no sweating you're probably like white buttoned up because at that point you're dressing like a age appropriate person and if you're not dressing

like if you're like in an affliction t-shirt or something you know we all know that person But no, so I regret a lot of that because what I wish I would have done, especially when I was younger, is I wish I would have taken a huge percentage of that stuff and invested into low-cost index funds. You don't realize, like if there's one book also that I would recommend everybody for especially younger and it's dense, hard to get through, Tony Robbins' money master the game. I wish I would have read that when I was in school before I graduated, all these things. And I told Tony when he came on the show, it changed. changed my life because I didn't understand anything about money. I didn't understand anything about investing. I didn't know anything about compounding. I didn't know how to save it. I didn't know how to budget. None of it. And I was stressed all the time, which I'm sure a lot of young people are, even older people. And I would have just taken a smaller percentage of the money I was wasting

or doing dumb things with and put it into low-cost index funds. And it would be worth hundreds of thousands if not millions now. And people don't realize like you can start doing this at 18. And you know, I didn't start investing seriously and taking this stuff seriously like like 30, early 30s. So I miss like a full decade just not understanding this. So every time I meet you, I do it to you all the time. I'm like, do it now. Do it early. It doesn't it could be 50 bucks. Every dinner. Every time I see you because you write it on my birthday card at the bottom. You know why? Because now I'm on the other end of doing it for a while and in there's it's like the compounding becomes so great where it's just nice to know that like your money is making money for you and if you start earlier next thing

you know all of a sudden like it just grows and grows and grows and grows and even if you start doing like a thousand bucks you know a month or 500 bucks or 200 bucks a month in your early 20s by the time you're going to retire you're going to be a millionaire easily I'm not the first one to say this it's good advice yeah everyone because here's the other the thing, as you get older, you see older people older than me that go to retirement that have never done it and their income earning years are behind them. And they are so stressed about money because when you're a young person and you need to go and backfill income, there's a million different jobs or side hustles and you have energy and there's things that

you can do. When you're older and the job pool is smaller and you don't have as much energy and you have bills and you can't cover because you didn't set yourself up like, That is really stressful for a lot of people. So I just tell people like, do it early so they don't have to think about it later. Because now I see people that are later and it's a mess. It's scary. Yeah. So yeah, let's partying in the club, Carson.

I did have some good times though. Okay, let's do some rapid fire questions to close it out. What's your go-to guilty pleasure that you don't feel guilty about? was it a guilty pleasure if you don't feel guilty about it that you refuse to it's like something that you're you're a little embarrassed to bring up maybe I think you love like a baked good you make fun of me for a baked good I'll eat no I like a good sweet you'll eat a chocolate chip cookie any day of the week I'll eat a chocolate chip cookie no I'll eat like sweet like people think that because we talk about health and fitness a lot that we don't like I will indulge yeah

if you are going to a bakery you're getting a baked good if I go to a donut store I'm getting Like I, you know, when people come on and they're like so rigid about like, if I'm going to McDonald's and I'm sitting there and it's a hot day, I'll get a McFlurry. Hell yeah. No problem. Oreo? Yeah, probably. That, I don't know. I play a lot of video games, but I don't feel guilty about that.

Again, my doctor told me, man, with this parasympathetic HRV stress, he said, actually, you need to find active things that your brain can do actively, but while also calming you down. So if it's like a video game, whatever, so I'll do that. I don't feel guilty about it. Lauren used to give me shit now. She doesn't. She realized like I need to go off and like, I need to go into Zelda's world or I need to going to call a dude. I need to figure something out. That's why I like needle pointing. I'm doing

something. I'm not just sitting there. Yeah. You got to like everybody's going to have a thing. I said to her, I said, hey, do you want me on the guy's trip, like chugging beers and falling on myself on the golf course? Or like, can I go play Legend of Zelda for like an hour? That is such a ridiculous comparison.

It's not a ridiculous comparison because a lot of these guys they'll go to their wives and their girlfriends and be like, I need to de-stress. I need time with the guys. You don't get it, babe. I can't just be doing it. And they do this stuff. Oh, the kids have been trust me. And they go and they make these, I got to go out on the guy ship.

I'm like, I don't. That's justifying their behavior, though. Yeah, and I'm not trying to put those guys. There's a lot of girls who listen to this podcast. Their husbands are going to just, like,

go right into me like, motherfucker. But my thing is like, hey, can I just go upstairs into my man cave and like, shoot some, like, read a little bit of fourth wing and have a private moment. Like, shoot some rounds and call a duty or like,

you know, go and like save the princess and Zelda or, you know, like go like throw a barrel down the way and don't, I'll keep on. Like, let me just do my thing. Like, that's not that bad. Yeah. Best advice you've ever been given. I mean, there's a lot of good advice. It says five words or less. Five words or less. I don't know. As it relates, there's like different, you know,

there's different, different pieces of advice for different moments in life. What about to your 20-year-old self? Your 25-year-old self who's coming home from the club. What's one thing you would say? Well, we've covered a lot of the bases. We've got to invest it, We got to like not, I mean, listen, I don't know if this was my dad that gave me this advice or somehow, but I do think, and I'm not trying to be sappy here, but I think staying focused and being really serious about one woman and one relationship, even at a very young age when a lot of my friends weren't, because a lot of guys feel like they're missing out on certain parts of life. But for me, I was like, okay, like, I'm going to sacrifice maybe being out or being with more women or whatever. It may be to focus on one. And now going back to compounding and investing, the compound effect of that is like, I've have an incredible marriage with an incredible family and we built a business together and we've done well, this whole life. And I'm seeing some of my friends now that have like kind of put that stuff on the backburner.

And like, listen, everyone has a different perspective or different lifestyle choice. But I'm like, if there, if you do find that one, and like it has to be the right person. Are you saying if it wasn't Lauren, it would be the same thing? No, no, I'm not. So I'm saying you do have to find the right. You don't want to settle and like just do it to do it. But if you can and you do find that person, it's good to focus on and hold on to it. Because I've seen a lot of people find a person like that and then tell themselves some narrative like, oh, well, I'm supposed to be with all these different people or like my career needs to be this or I'm supposed to wait to have kids.

It's like they give them, they choose life milestones and like try to build them around when it's convenient for them as opposed to when it's actually happening. Does that make sense? Yeah. and then like they miss a moment right it's like oh I'm not going to settle down with that guy or girl because like I told myself I was getting married at 40 it's never the right timing or like I don't want to have children with that person

because like I still need to go take that vacation to Greece something stupid like that who cares about Greece probably Greek people yeah well I mean you know I mean like I care about the people in the country I'm saying like who cares about the trip to Greece mecanos isn't on the next yeah so I see people do these

dumb things where like there's these There's forks in the road that happen, right? And they present opportunities. And they open the door. And you get to choose if you're going to walk through the door or slam it shut. And I see way too many people slam good opportunities and good doors shut because they've got some ridiculous narrative in their mind. So I don't know what the advice there is.

It's just like you have to be smart enough to recognize when there's a moment. Or like in your career, there's certain things that happen where somebody offers you something. And maybe it's not the money you thought you deserve. but it's like a really good opportunity to go work in a really incredible space or for a really incredible person. Like, oh, but I like told myself I was going to be earning this. And so they don't do it. And it's like you just, you have to, you have to be willing to recognize the opportunities of life when they come. And so many people get stuck in their narrative. And then they

limit themselves from those opportunities because they, they don't, they're not flexible with what what, what, what, you know, I love the word flexible for that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. The most spontaneous thing you've ever done. Not that spontaneous. No, you're a planner. I was trying to be like, what is the most spontaneous thing I've ever done? Buy that red suit, maybe?

I mean, I've done a lot of spontaneous things when I'm drunk. A lot of spontaneous purchases. You've definitely done that. A lot of spontaneous purchases. My spontaneity exponentially goes up with the amount of liquor I've had. For sure. If I have a chance to not be drinking, I'm a pretty big planner. yeah I don't know like what's the most in what context what's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done

I think that I've been pretty spontaneous I went to Korea during COVID because you planned that I planned it but I remember you said to me it was on Cinco de Mayo you said that's never gonna happen and so then I bought that flight that day I said you're wrong yeah but then you went and lived in like a jail box for like two weeks in Korea because the COVID restrictions but it was worth it And then I got out there and I felt like a breath of fresh air. Was it really worth it? Yeah, it was worth it. It was better than sitting in my house in L.A. at the time.

She's so crazy. She went to Korea and they were literally like sliding meals through a door like she was in jail because of the lockdown. Yeah, I had to stay in a hotel room for two weeks. And my microwave was broken. And so it was just like cold rice and like cold kimchi. Some Korean guy would show up in a hazmat suit and scream in Korean. at her and then like slide some food into a door and that's what she's kind of real. Oh, that's what happened. Yeah. They'd be wearing those suits.

People are going to pull that clip and be like, what's this guy talking about? No, that's what happened. A Korean guy or girl showed up in a suit, slid a food tray to you. No, they'd open it up. No, they put it outside and then they would knock on the door and then you'd open it up once they were already gone. Hey, me, me, I enjoyed your vacation in there. Here's your food. And shut the door. They wouldn't talk to you. So you had to stay in the hotel the entire time? Yeah. It was like squid games where the guards live. I lost like 15 pounds. So did you go into Korea at all? Yeah, after two weeks, I was able to.

And then I was there for three months. True. But really, it's like the squid games where the guards live. You guys were so mean. I remember it was Christmas Day, and my mom was punishing me because I was gone in Korea. And nobody called me. Nobody would answer my face-times on Christmas Day. You figured you were on lockdown, man.

No, I was out by then. Good parole. Well, maybe you shouldn't leave your mother and your family on Christmas. I hate to break it to you. This year, I'm going to be gone. I don't know. I guess I'm not that spontaneous. I can't think of like what I'm just like

what I do spontaneously. It would definitely be travel. I think maybe you've, but you plan it out. Maybe you'd be like I'm going to X, Y and Z. But what's like a spontane? Give me an example of like what's spontaneous. And there's things that come to mind that I don't really want to say.

I was going to say when you got that house during COVID. Oh, let's do this last one. Okay. What's the last thing you Googled? Funny enough, you know what I'm noticing lately? And this is probably a lot of people noticing this. And this is just where the world's going. I don't really Google anymore.

I just on AI all the time. So you're just asking? I was talking to Lauren the other day, right? And I was like, so the last thing I was Googling, so not Googling, but I was talking to my chat GPT, which I call BB, because I wasn't named in BB for Bostic Bot. That's cute. So I was like, I was talking to Bibi. But what I love is you can like create these different threads with them and then you can

go. So the last thing I was talking about was with this Apollo, again, here's another plug for Apollo, about which programs I should use throughout the day. But like I'll do weird things around like, okay, this is my supplement stack. What, you know, what should I, am I taking it right? Should I add this? Should I take that away? And it'll like fully be like, you're doing this right, but change.

It's crazy like what it can do. And the other day, I was like, what's the best way to, I was like, what's the best way to potty train your kid or training our open kid? And I was like, telling me. So I don't know. I'm not really, I think what we're going to see. And I meant to tell you everybody this the other day, I'll just tell the whole world. If you've been somebody that's so reliant on Google, you probably now need to start thinking about how to get AI to incorporate your results, right?

Google's trying. You know, they have the new AI feature. But even then, like, I just think like you talk to your bot and maybe they're doing, but also the other day, you know, I like to travel and I was saying like, what's the most efficient route in way to get to X place? And it'll like be like this and it'll give me all that. So it's pretty crazy like what's doing. I heard it's really good for flight.

Someone was telling me that. That's all I was doing. I was like, what's the most like what, like, which I said, if I want to do a and this time around this land and there's multiple places like how to what's the best flight route and it would work that out so so you're not Googling is the moral of the story but maybe i'll use the i google google emily why just emily yeah so i like it too have you used the google like when you take a picture of something you circle it i'm finding all this stuff it's actually really cool like you know that sculpture in your backyard we took a picture of it and we google

it. It just like takes it from there and it sends you the link. The other day I took a picture. My mom told me she bought me a lemon tree and Weston came and set it up in a pot. And I've been watching this lemon tree for like, you know, a month and a half now. And sure enough roots come out, but they're all green. And so I was like, man, it just take a while to like turn yellow or something. So I took an image of it. And it came back and said, sir, that is a lime tree. No. And so that's the last time I did the image thing. Stop. Did you tell your mom that? Yeah, I said it's a lime tree. I mean, it's fine. I use it for my estrall margaritas, a straw tequila. She's got to be disappointed. She gave Weston one job.

No, it's fine. I like limes, but yeah, it's crazy to the world. We live in technology and all the stuff. You know what? Just scrap all the advice I gave because probably technology is just going to take over and provide all the answers and I'll be dust in the wind. Yeah. You don't even need me anymore. At least you have your index funds. You know what, kids. Take all your money, blast it out in the nightclub with the bottle rats. Ask AI how to optimize that And that's all you need to know If you could make a living off that I guess that's what DJs are

You know what Maybe I'll be a DJ You'd be like Hermanos Into No I'd give up Because Drop kick Murphy I could do one song with a lot of energy

And then after that I'd be like I got a jet You get so bored Thank you Mimi for doing the show with me thank you for covering all the ground I hope the Rebecca Yaros fans out there are happy with our assessment I do have a feeling

I'm doubtful we split the audience some will agree and some will not but I will report back after I read the second and the third book Iron Flame Onix Storm

Yes but it's going to take me a minute because I got to get through the rest of my reading challenge so I'll wait and I'll report back All right. Thank you for having me. You got it. All right. Thanks guys. Bye.