The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast - Victoria Garrick On Body Dysmorphia, Self Esteem, Healthy Social Media Use, & Loving Your Real Self

Episode Date: February 17, 2022

#436: On today's episode we are joined by Victoria Garrick. Victoria is is a TED Talk speaker, mental health advocate, podcast host, and former Division I Athlete. Victoria joins the show today to discuss body dysmorphia, self estee, and how to practice self love.  To connect with Victoria Garrick click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) Check Out Lauryn's NEW BOOK, Get The Fuck Out Of The Sun HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential  The Hot Mess Ice Roller is here to help you contour, tighten, and de-puff your facial skin and It's paired alongside the Ice Queen Facial Oil which is packed with anti-oxidants that penetrates quickly to help hydrate, firm, and reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, leaving skin soft and supple. To check them out visit www.shopskinnyconfidential.com now.  This episode is brought to you by Pique Tea Pique is where plants meet science. Their teas and supplements deliver concentrated antioxidants and nutrients to support radiant skin, healthy aging and healthy digestion from within. Triple-toxin screened for purity. Zero prep or brewing required. Their Daily Radiance Vitamin C and Sun Goddess Matcha are the absolute best and have become a staple in my daily routine! Head over to www.piquelife.com/skinny and use code SKINNY Produced by Dear Media 

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to The Skinny Confidential, him and her.

It's when like you're actually altering things that don't exist in real life, I think is like the tricky line. When we look at like a celebrity who is influencing like beauty, 14, 13, 12 year old kids are looking at that and saying, Oh, if I buy their meal plan, if I do the workouts that they do and I squat my ass off, I'm going to look like that. And that's never going to happen because they have a personal chef, they have money, they have plastic surgery. They're also photoshopping. I think what breaks my heart is the body dysmorphia and body image issues it causes because there's no transparency. Hello, welcome back to the Skinny him and her podcast today. We have miss victoria garrick She's a badass. She's a superstar. She's on dear media. She has a podcast

She hosts every wednesday called real pod. She brings you honest unfiltered and eye-opening conversations to help you uncover the real in all of us initially Victoria had me on her podcast. We had a super interesting, fun, different conversation. She asked me all different kinds of questions that I actually have not been asked before. Very cool down-to-earth girl. And I think she's really disrupting the industry. She talks about filters and the effects that they're going to have on us in the future. And she even shows you on her Instagram, if you go look at it, what a filter can do. There is this one video, we talk about it in this episode, that went viral where she

shows you how people can manipulate their body in a video. It is wild. You guys have to go see this video. It went viral on TikTok. I think it went viral on YouTube too, I feel like, maybe Instagram. Anyway, people were freaking out. It was so crazy what she did to her body and she was just very real and transparent about it. In this conversation, we asked her hard-hitting questions and I was very intrigued by this whole conversation. You can hear my opinions throughout this episode and of course, Victoria's. With that, let's welcome Victoria Garrick to the Skinny Confidential Him and Her Show. She is an advocate, speaker, creator. She went to USC. Smart girl. She's a former D1 athlete,

podcast host, and content creator who is not afraid to get real. With that, meet Victoria. This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her. Victoria is in studio. She is also a fellow Dear Media podcaster. I have been wanting to do this for a while with you. I was on your podcast. Today, we're going to get into it. I was just talking about how you posted a video that I saw everywhere. It went viral. What was that video? And when you were posting it, did you know what was going to happen? So the video for... Wait, first of all, thank you for having me. I love you guys. You're the best. You're the podcast king and queen. So it's an honor. This video, I posted to TikTok and it is a video that starts with

what you might think is just a quote unquote normal woman on the internet. I'm in a bikini. My body looks pretty perfect. Same with my face. And then on the beat, I get rid of what was a very undetectable filter and Photoshop on my body and my face

to what I actually look like with no edits. And the transition I think was so jarring for people because they didn't even realize you could edit your bodies in a video, like where you're moving around. And yeah, it went viral. And did I know it was going to go viral? I think I knew it was going to do well because the way I had like created it, I thought was going to captivate people. But like 12, 13 million views. Well, no, I did not think it would go that viral. Wow. That is wild. And that's the craziest part was it's a video. And I think that what you were pointing out and tell me if I'm wrong is the unrealistic beauty standards that we're all inundated with on a

daily basis through social media. Definitely. And the way that we can be deceived by what we consume online and the fact that you never know if what you're comparing yourself to is real or if it's not. And so as someone who used to Photoshop my own photos because I was insecure and I struggled with food and my body, and now who doesn't, I kind of like to call myself out on what I used to do to say, here's what I did. Here's what the before looked like.

Here's what the after looked like. And also continue to educate people on what is possible. Because so many people said, you can edit a video of your body and make it undetectable. And I was like, yes, you can. And this is how you do it. And then I did another video explaining how it's done. Cause I think it's important for

us to know the secrets, the insider tips and tricks that like celebrities, big influencers are using so that you can understand to even like scroll with more caution. I knew you could edit a video. I didn't know you could do it. So like flawlessly, do you know what I mean? Like whenever I think of an edited video, I didn't know you could do it so like flawlessly. Do you know what I mean? Like whenever I think of an edited video, I think like someone looks so stretched. But the way you did it,

I would have never known. No, I got to watch this thing. I'm going to watch it while you're doing it. You can watch it live. I think it's pinned on my TikTok. Yeah, you can watch it live. You'll love it.

Go back and tell us about what you were like. Are you watching it? No, I just, it was this other girl that just got hit with a parking meter, but that was,

I hope it's, you know that one, Taylor, where the girl just gets in the middle of it. But I'm going to, I'm looking, I'm listening to the conversation. I'm actively participating

in the conversation, but I need to see this video now to have context. What if I post your dick and I edit your dick in a video like super long? Just to make it smaller so that it's not so jarring

to everybody. No, I'm just kidding. What was the Victoria like before you started doing this? Like you said you struggled with an eating disorder, anxiety. I know I've obviously looked into your story. Tell us about that. Well, thinking back on my childhood and to being like even 12 years old, I remember getting the first comment about my body, which was, you look so lean. And it was said very enthusiastically as if it was a compliment. And I said, what is lean? And this person said to me, oh, it means thin. You look thin and you look good. And so at the age of 12, I put the dots together. Okay. So looking thin is

a good thing. I'm going to get compliments for that. And so that's how I want to be. And I can just think about all of these little bits and pieces throughout my teenage, middle school, high school, where it's very clear to me what we're supposed to look like. And that is going to, I don't know, get you more things in life. The boys or the girls are going to like you. That's how you're supposed to look. And so in college, I kind of, and there's like so much here too. In college, I went to USC. I was a division one volleyball player and yeah, it was a lot. And that kind of was the place where I feel like everything that had been building, like the disordered eating habits, the stress, the I'm very type A, I want to be the best

at everything kind of came to a head and the stress and pressure was like so overbearing and so overwhelming that I couldn't handle it, but I didn't know how to handle it. So my anxiety around volleyball caused me to be constantly on edge, you know, unable to go to sleep at night. And then on top of that, I'm restricting because I don't want to get muscular. I don't want to lift the heavy weights and look like a big athlete because I thought- Even though you're competing at a high level. Because I thought that that wasn't, you know, what I was supposed to look like. I go then to the sorority house and I can't even share clothes with these girls because they're the size of my pinky. And then I go to the volleyball court and everyone in that culture is telling you to lift

weights and to become stronger. So I'm anxious. I'm then restricting because I'm like denying the changes in my body, which in turn causes me to binge and cope with food. So once that anxiety hits, I've been restricting, I'm hungry. I then start eating to kind of just, not only was it like a comfort for me, but also it starts as, oh, I'm going to break my diet. Like, oh, I had cereal. I had pizza at night. Like I was so bad tomorrow. I'm going to get back on track. I'm going to restrict again. We're going to start the diet. And then the next night, of course you cave and then it keeps getting worse and worse and worse. So the restriction became more severe. And then the like breaking my diet turned into

binging and then going through that for, and this is in a nutshell, so we can pull it apart as much as you guys want. By the time I was a sophomore, I just was in like this state of numbness where I almost had cared so much and been so anxious that at this point, I didn't care at all in a bad way. And through my, for lack of a better term, healing journey, I know that's so overused these days, I got on medicine.

I was talking with a therapist. I went off social media. I really just looked inwards on why. Why do I care so much about looking skinny and looking pretty and getting likes and followers? And in that, I realized how much validation I'd been seeking from other people. And then that's what kind of sent the bow and arrow in the complete opposite direction of I'm not filtering anything. I'm not photoshopping anything.

I'm not going to lie. And that is kind of where I found my voice in wanting to talk about mental health issues, wanting to talk about body image eating disorders, and overall just get real, which has kind of been a theme now of my social media. What was your upbringing like? Because obviously you're a driven individual to go to that school and obviously compete at that level. Were you always competitive like that? Where does that come from? From as long as I can remember. That probably plays into some of this, obviously, because you're competing. Yeah. You're constantly competing.

Yeah. I always was competitive. I was doing all the sports in middle school. I also have really supportive parents who, you know, told me that I could do anything I wanted to do, anything I wanted to put my mind to, you know, I was also very privileged in the fact that they could put me into a club volleyball program. They could pay for a private lesson, you know, things that other people don't have. So, you know, the privilege coupled with supportive parents and yeah, just being competitive. I've just always been that way. And as a result, like when I realized there's this huge stigma around mental health, you know, for so many years, I felt that I had to look a certain way or I, you know, couldn't be depressed. I couldn't be anxious that when I kind of realized, oh my gosh, there's nothing wrong with me.

You know, this is something a lot of people deal with. I use that sort of like competitiveness, outgoingness to then, you know, bring it to that movement without any shame for it. And it's funny because my best friend always jokes. She's like, you could have been used for great evil or great good. And I'm so glad you're not out there selling like diet teas

because I could have easily been that person. But I'm like, I've taken all the force on the other side. Do you think it's so crazy? I'll talk to some of my guy friends in particular because they're single and they and I'm sure this happens, obviously, with with women, too, but they will be on dating apps and they'll like swipe right or whatever and they'll go go on a date and the person looks like nothing like the photo. Was that sort of a part of it? Like on online, you're seeing all these people that we think look a certain way, but in reality, they don't. So that's an interesting one for me, because if I was singled on a dating app, would you not put like your most mediocre photos?

I would want someone who's thinking I'm not as cute and then I show up and I'm way more cute. I think that's a good way to get past the appearance thing by uploading like your B-level photos. I think there's a happy medium. I would for sure want good light

and I would definitely like makeup. I'd like hair, but I would not put my best of my best. Speaking as the opposite sex, I think in having some friends that are participating on these apps, I think that the problem is like, and I can see where there's a pressure.

If you're a man or a woman, like you go on these apps and the only thing you're really showing is your image. And like, what is it? Like a blurb or two about your personality, but you can't really find that much about a person there.

You want to look as best as you can to get people to, what is it? Like swipe or click or whatever. So you kind of have to put the best forward because you're competing with everybody else

that's doing that. But then the problem is you show up and if it's a different person, that's also very problematic because then you start off the date on the completely wrong foot.

You're like, who the fuck are you? And I guess you could think if you are kind of bait and switching someone, at least you got them to the dinner. Maybe your personality

can win them over. But it's hard because I think you're working, like you said, you're working at a deficit where your strategy, if like you kind of started the other way and then like just came in like, wow, like that's a lot greater than I thought. You know what I mean? I don't know. What the fuck do I know? I haven't been on an app and I've been taken for a long time. But I think what you do points that out

with a lot of influencers and celebrities. It's like how someone maybe looks on their Instagram is maybe not how they look in person. Sure. And something else that comes to mind is while I do call out celebrities and I like to just bring attention in what I think is like a respectful way. Of course, I always think, OK, I weirdly in like, I don't know, three cents to cents. Could this get into the hands of Kim Kardashian? Right. If I'm dissecting her video, possibly. And I never want to come at like a, I'm super angry and like this horrible person because I have sympathy. Like I edited my photos back in the day.

I know how you have to feel to like look at your own self and not think it's good enough. And the fact that like a Kim Kardashian, who's as stunning as she is, who some would say like is the beauty standard, feels like there's still things to nitpick. Like there is a compassion there of, yeah, that sucks. That's why I'm going to play devil's advocate here. If I'm posting to 150 million people and I have a huge zit on my face, I'm just going to be honest. I'm editing my zit off my face. It's hard to be like right or wrong,

black or white. There's a gray. I feel like I just think the transparency is key. Yeah. Like there are influencers conversation like who say, oh, yeah, I love a good face tune. Everyone's smiling. You know, they talk about it. I think there are certain people who I love a whiten of the eye and teeth and maybe a detail of a lash gone. Right. No, no. I love that. And honestly, when you mentioned the zit, if it's something that like is could be real, like a zit there versus it not is real life for you. Like one day you might not have the zit. It's when like you're actually altering things that don't exist in real life, I think is like the tricky line.

But anyways, when we look at like a celebrity who is influencing like beauty, 14, 13, 12 year old kids are looking at that and saying, oh, if I buy their meal plan, if I do the workouts that they do and I squat my ass off, I'm going to look like that. And that's never going to happen because they have a personal chef. They have money. They have plastic surgery. They're also photoshopping. So I think I think what breaks my heart is the body dysmorphia and body image issues it causes because there's no transparency. Like it wouldn't hurt for them to be like, yeah, we sometimes we edit our photos. You know, we like a good edit. So is that the solution? What's the solution? It should there be like what in your I mean, I feel like this is something that you focus on. Should there be a disclaimer on Instagram? Should they be saying something

like what are the steps that you would take in your perfect world? One day, I'm going to sit down and do a blog post on the supplements that I take because I'm very intentional and thoughtful about it. One thing you should know though, before I do that post is there is one thing that I do every single day. And that is wake up, drink my lemon water. Sometimes I'll add chlorophyll to it, maybe some mint, some ginger, and I take my probiotic with it. First of all, I love a probiotic on an empty stomach. I don't know if there's like some protocol with it, but I just feel like it's so good for my gut. And the probiotic that I take is Just Thrive. We have had the owners on the podcast.

And the reason I like this probiotic is because it survives the trip to your gut. So most probiotics don't even survive to the gut. And they do all this fancy schmancy marketing that I found out about where they say, oh, keep it in the refrigerator. Just Thrive does not have to be kept in the refrigerator and it survives the trip from your mouth to your gut. So that's really important whenever you're looking for a probiotic. I like to do one in the morning and then I feel like if I'm getting sick, I'll do two. But usually for my gut health, that with the lemon water, you add some chlorophyll, like I said, maybe some mint, and you are off to the races. It's like such a peaceful, strong morning. And I think doing it

with the lemon water is like habit stacking. I heard about that in Atomic Habits. And it's really helped me to remember to drink my water, get my lemon in, and also get my probiotic in. You should know Just Thrive probiotics are vegan, non-GMO, gluten-free, dairy-free, and free of anything artificial. You can even put them in a smoothie for your kids. Break them up, put them in a smoothie. They'll never know. I do it to Zaza all the time. And you can save 15% off. All you're going to do is go to justthrivehealth.com slash skinny and use promo code skinny. justthrivehealth.com slash skinny and use promo code skinny. Justthrivehealth.com promo code skinny. In a perfect world, it would be awesome to have like a tiny little label or a mark on a photo just to signal to people it's been edited. It doesn't have to say like I edited my, you don't have to get in any gritty, but if there

was just a little watermark or a little something that just said, like, has edits or has filters or has Photoshop, I think that would go a really long way. And we are seeing that. CVS Beauty actually does that. They have a unfiltered watermark that any of their advertisements, like Maybelline, CoverGirl that come through CVS, if their photos have been altered, CVS has to put a mark on that for consumers. My train of thought,

and this is not a 12-year-old's train of thought. As an adult, I don't know what I would think when I was 12. I probably would have had a dysmorphia looking at everything on the internet when I was 12. But now, I just think everything's edited. Like everything. Like I can't imagine there being an ad in CVS that's not edited.

But can I play devil? I'm going to play devil's advocate. And I'm actually not taking a side. I'm just going to ask you a question on the opposing side. Do you think that we constantly have to worry about the fragility of people's mindset? Right? Meaning like, I say something on this podcast. It upsets somebody.

I have a responsibility to make sure that they're not upset. Or do they have a responsibility or their parents have a responsibility to give them the mental capability to be strong enough to deal with things that they don't like seeing, don't like hearing, don't like watching. That's a great point to bring up.

And actually it reminds me of something Lauren said on my show, Real Pod. If something triggers someone, you take responsibility for the fact that that triggered you. Yeah. And when you said that, that was really eye-opening for me because I think it's true. Like we all have a responsibility for if we're going to let something affect us, right? That's like stoicism.

It's all the stuff that I know you guys love. Well, the reason I ask is because where is that line? There's a lot of things that get said, especially you do this kind of for as long as we've done it. Like you have a lot of different conversations with a lot of different people, a lot of different perspectives. And I think it's very challenging for people that create things publicly at any scale to constantly guard themselves about, you know, because the bar constantly changes.

Like maybe something I say to you has no effect, but it has some effect on someone else. And so it's like, at some point, you're just going through this minefield of like, do I be myself or do I just constantly worry about if I'm going to upset somebody? I would say the bare minimum is honesty. That would just be me. That's just the bare minimum. Just be honest. Be honest. And if that means you're saying, hey, my body is not a result of the meal kit I'm trying to sell you as an

influencer, just be honest. And I think that goes a long way. And to your point of like fragility and like political correctness these days, I don't like cancel culture. I don't like to be someone, like if Kim Kardashian, I think Kim Kardashian's a genius businesswoman. I respect that.

I think she's got a cool personality in interviews. Like I, there's parts of me that think she's awesome. There's also parts of me that wish that, you know, there are areas that she could do better. Same way that there are areas I could do better. No one's perfect human. But I think like the bare minimum honesty is important. And I think it is, yeah,

people need to be aware of what they're consuming, aware of what's online. I just worry about people who don't know. Like back to the video, the amount of people who said, I had no idea you could edit a video. Then they would have never known. What's cool about what you're doing is you're bringing attention to things that we didn't know about. And then you're handing it off to the consumer to have their best judgment.

And I happen to agree with you. And the reason I obviously am going to ask some questions on the opposing side, but I actually agree with that. I think that the problem is a lot of times people are honest and still people are upset. We talked that the problem is a lot of times people are honest and still people are upset, right? Like we talked to Jillian Michaels a long time ago and she's like, you may not like me

or like the things I say, but I'm always honest and people still get upset. I think too, this conversation's hard because like a 12-year-old's different than a 30-year-old. Totally.

Like a 12, to me, I think too, as a mother now of a daughter, I'm going to have conversations where I say to my daughter, the internet is like a movie set. It's not, it's not real. It's produced. There's lighting, there's makeup, there's FaceTune, there's this app that you can change this. I, I even plan on showing her, there's an app called FaceApp. Everyone knows what app that is that literally changes your entire face. I want to show her that app to be like, this is what's out there. So hopefully I as a parent can do my due diligence. So when she goes

on there, she understands it's like consuming a movie. Well, this is what I'm talking about, about personal accountability. And again, we're going on a tangent here with children. We have children now. And I think I would be doing a disservice. I'm going to say this in a roundabout way to parents, but I would be doing a disservice to my daughter if I was like, hey, here's a phone and a smartphone, get out there and figure it out. There's a responsibility that if you're going to allow young children to go on these platforms where they can view and see anything that you have those conversations and contextualize things for them. Because I think we grew up in a generation where our parents didn't know, right? They don't know

social media. We all are growing up with it. So as our children grow up, there's a responsibility from parents to say, hey, you're going to see these types of things. This is how you deal with them. This is how you should feel. This is how you can contextualize them. You probably didn't get that from your parents. We didn't get it from ours because they didn't have these platforms. It's true. And it's interesting. And I don't have kids. So I have no idea what I will be like or what decisions I will make. You're going to be a great mom. Aw, thanks. But it is tough. Because imagine showing Zaza those apps and how she can change her face. And then she thinks, oh, I like it better that way. It's like, that's tough. It's

like, what if she just never knew there was the option to morph the face to have the makeup? But the fact for me is there is an app out there and she's probably going to see it. So I'm the type of parent. It's like drugs. I'm going to tell her I tried cocaine. I tried mushrooms. I drank until I threw up. And here's what happened. She's going to find out about these things anyways. So my whole brand is about let's talk about it. Let's take the taboo-ness out of it. And here's why I don't think you should change your whole face. And she has to go make her own decision. Well, I think there's a problem in society where it's like, you did or said something that hurt somebody that I love or care about.

And it's your fault. But there's no personal accountability anymore and be like, you know what? Maybe I didn't get the tools necessary or provide the tools to the person that I love to be able to deal with these things when they see that. And you can even extrapolate that to like drugs. Somebody does drugs for the first time, the parents have tried to guard them that the drugs even exist

and that they're even going to be around them. But then they are and they don't have the tools or like they see something online that triggers them, but the parents have never talked to them or they get whatever. You can even, they get broken up by, you know, a significant, whatever. Like you, we can't just expect people to have the tools without teaching. And then in the other side of that, you can't then be upset when they're upset because you didn't give them the tools. For sure. And I'm, I'm just taking it in. Like I,

I don't, like I said, I don't have kids and I think you guys are awesome humans. So I don't even know, like, it sounds like a good plan. I don't know what I would do unless I had kids. But I think the biggest thing that is going to benefit any parent child from what you're describing is the communication. Like you can always come to me to talk to you about things like, oh, mom and dad have already told me about that. I don't have to learn it from school. Like we've got a trust. And I think that's that's awesome. And that's something I think I had with my parents was trust. Like I'm going to someone's house. No, there's no parents there, but these are people that are going and I'll text you. And it was like, because I was honest, they gave me more freedom and they gave me more slack on

my leash because I wasn't a liar. So I think that relationship with any parent to child is important. And it sounds like that's part of that. I think that a watermark is a great idea. And I think that what you're doing is exposing what is out there is also a good idea because you're able to see it and be like, oh, this is like a movie. This is like a TV show. It's not real life. Yeah, that's definitely what I try to do. I don't even like swipe.

I go to an extreme just because I feel like I want to create one little tiny corner of the internet that doesn't even have like the Paris filter. But once again, to what you were saying about, you know, cancel culture or judging people, I don't mind when people do that. Like, I, like, I know you tell me you love a good filter and like, I think you're an icon and like, I'm your biggest fan. I like Paris. Yeah. And so I think I love it. And you know what? I think that that's great that like and on a different note, I'm an intuitive eater. I'm hard against diet culture. One of my best friends in the world always on a new diet.

We're still tight because I don't I think we get too obsessed with, oh, you don't align with every single thing I believe in these days. I'm not talking to you. We can't even be friends. I have tons of friends who do different things than me, have different views than me. Like at the end of the day, we're all humans. We're trying to do our best. Everyone cries themselves to sleep at night. Like I'm not about to cancel friendships and not follow influencers because they do use filters or they do diet. Like everyone's on their own journey. And who am I to tell someone what they need to do with their life? Back to what you said, Lauren, I just like to put it out there and then it's whatever anyone wants to take and do with that. I think that's why I like your platform

is that you're putting it out in a way that's nonjudgmental of what everyone else is doing, but you're saying this is what's happened. I tried to do that with Skinny Confidential when I first started. 13 years ago, I was like, I have Botox. I've tried lip filler. I have a boob job. I've had a boob job twice. I've tried to talk about that area. And I think as women, if we can do a little thing on the internet like that, that maybe makes a big difference over time, it hopefully does something. For sure. And if someone wants to get filler, they want to get eyelashes, they want to get... That's awesome. Once again, I have friends who do those things. I'm not going to shame women or tell them that they can't get things done. I just think the honesty is amazing and it goes

such a long way. Do you feel relief from being someone who was so restrictive and you describe yourself as anxious. And now, like, is there something liberating about being on the internet just how you are? Oh, a thousand percent. Can you talk about that? For sure. It is the most liberating feeling. It's the most freeing feeling to just show up as you are and not worry about getting that approval from others. And if we zone in on the beauty standard as an example, there's something that I like to call like the ceaseless cycle to nothing. And basically it's what I imagine to be this wheel or this roundabout or this race.

And I feel like everyone's running it. And we are trying to learn like what is the new hot thing to be in life, whether that's have a big butt, it's have big lips. Okay. We learn. Then we try to attempt to be that thing. So do I have a big butt? Do I have an hourglass body? Do I have lots of followers? Then we seek the validation. Okay. Do you guys like me? Am I pretty? Am I this? Am I that? And then the minute that we get there, the standard changes. There's something else to have. There's something else to do, another way to look like. And we learn that new thing. We attempt to be it. We seek the validation. Then the standard changes and we just keep going around. And it's like the day that I was like, oh my God, we're never going to win everyone over. Like the prettiest woman doesn't exist. There are people who think every every year people magazine comes out with you know

Who's the most beautiful every year? No, not her. It should be beyonce. It should be rihanna Jennifer aniston is too old like there's always people disagreeing So when you realize you're never gonna get like the validation from the world, you're never gonna get the magic wand It's so freeing. You're the one that can then give that to yourself every single day that like you are good enough for yourself Or you can just be enough in this moment. There's so much power. Like there's so much to think about when you're not thinking about what you can't eat for lunch that day. If you see me drinking tea, it is peak tea. I bring it in my purse to restaurants. Why, you ask? Because I'm not a fan of the teabag.

I have learned... I'm not a fan of teabag in general. You know what I mean? I've learned about the teabag that there is nasty plastic shit, microplastics actually. There can be pesticides, all this gross stuff seeping into your water in your tea. So I decided to eliminate that with peak tea. I have my little skinny ginger tea packets. I open one up, I pour it in the tea. It's absolutely delicious. Their ginger really helps with inflammation. So I keep talking about it because I'm a huge fan of ice rolling, cold showers, all the things. And so to have ginger and knowing that it helps with inflammation, I run Puffy, is amazing. I drink this tea literally every single day. I harassed the company when I ran out. So much so that I went on Amazon and

was simultaneously ordering it, harassing the company. I think I even reached out to them on Instagram and was like, I need more of this tea. It is the best tea by far. It's Skinny Confidential Masterlist approved, the Ginger Digestion Elixir Tea. If you're on their site, the other two things I would grab are their Sun Goddess Matcha. It is one of my favorite matchas. It's so pure and it's organic and quadruple toxin screened. Again, no tea bag. And then I also like these little vitamin C packets that they have. You just open them up and put them right in your mouth and they really help your skin glow. I have a page on Peak Tea because I'm just so obsessed with this brand. I've been talking about it forever. You are going to head to peaklife.com

slash skinny. That's P-I-Q-U-E-L-I-F-E.com slash skinny. And use code skinny to get 5% off sitewide plus a free peak sampler pack with six of their best selling teas so you can try them all out. Everything you need to create a healthy skin routine. That is peaklife.com slash skinny with code skinny. And this discount applies site-wide. I really agree with you on this. When we decided to move to Austin, it's been really just a position for me to LA for multiple reasons. In Austin, I don't really get anything done. I mean, I get a blowout at Drybar. When I'm here, I'm getting my fucking eyebrows waxed. Yesterday, it was like one of those cars going through a here like i'm getting my fucking eyebrows waxed i'm yesterday i was like one of those cars going through a detail i'm getting my spray tan there's 18 people in the

hotel room i'm getting a manicure a pedicure my makeup done my hair done extensions in so many different things and when i'm in austin i look like schmigel from the rings like i like the i look i look so like i don't even look like myself. But you don't have to. And then you take out the boob implants and the Botox and like I don't even look recognizable. But the point is, is like it's so much relief and like so liberating for me to go to Austin and just be like, I can let my tits hang out like an orangutan. So what would it take for you to do that in Beverlyly hills i don't but that's the thing i also i can be simultaneously shmeagle from the ring or the lord of the ring you better get it right lauren and also love to be glam and

like i have different facets of me like sometimes i want to be dressed up in a heel and like corset like Kate Winslet from Titanic and look a certain way. I think, I think it's okay to be multifaceted, but I will say on that point,

it is nice to just go to Austin and just be disgusting in a swab. No, but listen, it's probably like, I think this applies to men. I mean, there's all genders,

all sex. Like it's nice sometimes to get dialed in and dolled up and like make yourself look like as best as you possibly can with all the stuff. And you know, that's probably not like, that's not the, that's not how it is 99% of the rest of the time. But like, I think that's the healthy balance is like being okay that this is who you are normally, but like also saying like, I like to get dialed on

sometimes and like, you know, push it to the limit. I completely agree. I completely agree. I thought when you were first starting Lauren, you were saying that you feel like a pressure in Beverly Hills that you can't be your Schmeagle self. So I, well, a little bit, maybe. It's interesting. I was even like at Starbucks before this in Beverly Hills. And even at the Starbucks, I mean, the people sitting outside are beautiful.

I like, it's like, you know. And they probably got glam done. It's just, it's just different. There is definitely a pressure. There is an underlining pressure to look a certain way in LA especially. But listen, here's the other thing

for what both of you guys do. But like not everybody's on camera and doing these. Like not everybody has to do this. Like I would understand like you're putting yourselves

out there to the general public. You're creating content all the time. Like I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to like look as best as you can during that. And you know,

if you were just like going and sitting at Starbucks or going and sitting in a conference room for a meeting, like maybe you don't need to do it. Like that might be strange. Are you trying to manipulate me into taking a shower every single day in Austin? Cause this feels like you're trying to tell me that I don't try my hardest in Austin. I guess what I'm saying is I don't think people should beat themselves if they have a career or a job when they're putting themselves out there and being judged by the world. Right? Like it's different than, I'm sorry, it's different than if you're somebody that's like, you've got 200 followers and you're on social and like you're posting your family vacation.

Like it's just a different scale. It's a different pressure. Nobody's chiming in on those people and picking them apart every single time they post something. And what I would question people to think about is when I dress up and I love my glam and I love my hair and I love my this and that, because I do too. I love it. You feel great. Is it for you or is it because you think you need to be this way to show up wherever you're going to show up or to be accepted in the world? Because there's a big difference. If you want to put on makeup for yourself, a dress for yourself, or honestly, sometimes for your partner, like you like to look cute for them, whatever, that's awesome. But if it's because you don't feel like you are enough otherwise, I think that's the place to spend more time

Because I love to put on glam. It's fun I also would feel confident coming on this podcast with no makeup in sweats I would I dressed up today because it felt fun I mean i'm in sweats really but I put on some makeup because it feels good But I would also be okay without it So I think that is healthy to have below the surface and then of course do whatever you want to do like on every day I think that's a really good point. And. And then, of course, do whatever you want to do on every day. I think that's a really good point.

And that's so weird you just said that because when I decided to get my boobs done, I was 19 years old. It was literally the day after I graduated from high school. And a lot of people at the time were uncomfortable with the fact that I was getting my boobs done. And I was super transparent about it. This is before Skinny Confidential. Always an oversharer and owned that I was getting it done. And I realized looking back, I didn't get my boobs done for my boyfriend. I got them done because I wanted them done. And anyone that asked me advice on doing any plastic surgery, it's like going back to your

point. Not you should do it. It's more freedom to do it because you want to do it, not for someone else. Totally. Okay. So tell us what a day in the life of creating your kind of content looks like. Like you also create other kinds of content. So just talk about that. Yeah. So you're an entrepreneur. You've got a lot going on. Thank you. Yeah, I am. And it's funny because I was talking with a friend last night who we were laughing that people really don't know how much goes on behind the scenes to have everything be put out in the way that it is.

So I think the general consensus of my brand is realness. I have real pod. I have hashtag real post on Instagram. Like that is what I do. And I think I have evolved to a place of just candidly sharing whatever is happening in my day. If it's TMI, if it's exciting, if it's sad, that's what I do. And because of that, I can't really plan. I could, but I don't like to, it doesn't feel as

authentic. I don't plan ahead. Like my week of content, it's not planned because I don't know what I'm gonna be feeling on Thursday or if I'm gonna have a breakdown on Tuesday or if I'm gonna show up for my workout on Thursday and then not work out because I'm feeling lazy. And like, that's a good piece of content is, hey guys, I put on my workout clothes. I showed up at the gym and I immediately went home. Like, and that just comes to me in the moment. So it is tough because every single day I do feel like I have to be documenting things, but I really enjoy it. You know, I feel like I have this community who wants to see me put together an outfit. And then literally the other day I put on this outfit, I'm ready to go to a coffee shop. And then I start to hate my outfit.

I start to rethink it. I'm throwing up polls. Like, should I do jeans? Should I do this? Should I do that? It's now been an hour and like 15 minutes. I am like about to cry because I'm like, I can't put an outfit together. I have wasted so much time. It's almost 1030. I haven't done anything I needed to do. I'm over it. I put on sweats and I go to my office and I don't leave the house. And like, that's my content on stories for the day. And it wasn't planned, but that's what happened. So it is interesting for me because it really is like documenting the live moment. It's exciting for me to hear that this content's resonating because it feels like when I first started blogging, it was like the curated, edited photo of the girl running in the street with her dress like blowing behind her. And now it's like, I love that your generation is breaking that. It's honestly refreshing.

I crave the type of content that you're talking about. Do you find that from your audience? Yes. From my audience, I think they definitely appreciate it. And I know so many people swiped up like, LOL, this is me. I can't put together an outfit. I cancel my entire day and I just stay home and sulk. So yeah, that's nice for sure. And even with like some big, big time influencers and creators, we see it like Emma Chamberlain filming YouTube videos without makeup was huge for me. Like I always put on a little bit of makeup for a YouTube vlog, like cameras in my face all day. Emma Chamberlain is filming a video with pimples without makeup. And she's not even acknowledging it either. She's not saying, oh my God, sorry guys, I look horrible today, but she's just filming her video. And that's powerful. And I think she's like a big influence for a younger generation. And so I think

that goes a really long way. And I think, yeah, we're starting to see people who don't want it to be as curated, but then we can appreciate curated. Like I think everything you freaking do in the pinks and the fonts and the, I love, I live for it. That's just not even who I am at my core. Like I, I couldn't be the quote unquote, that girl that's like kind of trending right now. Everyone's like, how do you become that girl? You wake up at six, you have your coffee, you meditate. And that's just like literally not me at my core. So I feel like we're becoming okay with embracing that some of us are night owls

and we don't wake up early and we don't meditate, but we still get our shit done and we're still happy. Let me ask you this. You're very self-aware, especially for your young, you know? So what was the epiphany and how did you kind of come to all these conclusions? I know you kind of touched on it,

but what was the moment and what was the work that you needed to do to get to this place? Therapy was huge. I know that's also a privilege, but if anyone can get access to that, you know, sitting there and really like tracking back, you know, why do I always need to achieve? You know, I'd always, the question you asked me in the beginning, you're so competitive, you're this, you're that. You're an overachiever. I can tell. Sure. And at 18, it was the first time she said, so why, why do you need to be the best at everything? And I finally, I was like, because, so why? Why do you need to be the best at everything?

And I finally, I was like, because, because what? And then you start to kind of go down the path and really think, I don't know, why? Why do I? What happens if I'm not the best and I don't get everything I want? And so I think going inwards was really eye-opening for me. But there was a very specific instance with my older brother, Jonathan, that did, I think, change the course of social media. I was on a vacation with my family in Mexico and I was taking a bikini photo for Instagram. Of course, I've like, you know, for two hours, I bring my mom. She's like slaving away taking

this photo. I've got two bikini options. You're doing amazing. Yes. And literally, and my mom's like down in the sands, like I'm throwing the sand, you know? So we get this photo finally, you know, out of hundreds, I choose this photo and I'm like, I'm gearing up to post it. And my older brother just kind of stops me and he's like, hey, why do you want to post that? And first of all, I'm like, you're interrupting, you know, my process right now. And he's like, no, seriously. And so I'm like, okay, I want to post this photo because it's going to get a lot of likes and comments. And he goes, okay, why do you want a lot of likes and comments? And I sat there like, hmm, because likes and comments make me feel good.

He was like, all right, and I was like, and so I post the photo, but I like can't stop thinking about this conversation and all the likes come in and the comments, you look so hot, fire emoji, hard eyes. I just didn't feel the same. Like something in me was like, wow. It's like, I didn't even realize how much, like I spent my whole day trying to get validation from people.

And like, that was really someone who I admire and respect. Of course, your older brother just kind of checking me in that instance. And literally the next day, and I was also like in therapy, depressed. Like I was kind of ready to have an epiphany. The next day I posted a no filter photo of my Yaya. I'm Greek. So that's my grandma, my Yaya's face and I hashtag real post. I was just kind of YOLO. It was for her birthday. And I just didn't stop. I just kept posting things I like. That's a tree. I like it. That's a quote in a coffee shop. I like it. My friends were like, I feel like I was having my Britney moment. If you go back to this part of my Instagram. And that was an example, I think,

of a really big epiphany for me that shifted something and it created what is sort of my brand now without me even trying to create a brand. You started questioning why you needed outside validation. Yeah. Why do I, why am I doing the things that I do? I think that's the biggest thing. If you can get to a place and we talk about this all the time, if you can get to a place where you respect other people's feelings, but you also don't care or need those validations from the outside and you can just be yourself knowing that you're going to not appease everybody and that a lot of the time you're going to actually turn people off, but you can still be yourself confidently. That's the best and most healthiest place to be in, in my opinion.

Okay. So Zaza has been going to a lot of kids' birthdays and I just needed a go-to site to go on to find the perfect gift. So KiwiCo, okay? This is defining the future of play by making it engaging, enriching, and seriously fun. And also, I feel like sometimes you can feel guilty because you're throwing on Bluey. With KiwiCo, they're actually engaged and they're doing hands-on creative projects. This is important to me with my daughter and also to gift other kids. I want to gift them something that they're going to use and feel creative and get their wheels spinning. So what I do is I go to KiwiCo.com and then I just put in the age of whoever I'm picking out. So they have a panda crate for 0 to 24 months. They have a koala crate for ages two to four. They have stuff

for five to eight, six to 11. Everything is organized out. So you can go pick how old the child is and order a crate to give them a very hands-on learning experience. I ordered one for Zaza too. And I was shocked at how creative this kit was. It's absolutely so cute. I also think it's fun for holidays. So I'm a big, big fan of making holidays really special. We recently celebrated Valentine's Day. I gave her a KiwiCo crate. You could also do it for St. Patrick's Day. I think that that is such a fun way to engage your child. They can learn about the science of magic, engineering, domino machines, everything. You will not believe what you can build. I'm telling you, the stuff that I get

sent from them is so wild. And again, it's such a good gift. Redefine learning with play. Explore hands-on projects that build creative confidence and problem-solving skills with KiwiCo. Get $50 off your first month, plus free shipping on any crate line with code SKINNY at KiwiCo. Get $50 off your first month plus free shipping on any crate line with code skinny at KiwiCo.com. I may have used my own code for a present. That's 50% off your first month at K-I-W-I-C-O.com. Promo code skinny. I also think for you, and when I first met you, you are a breath of fresh air too in the podcast world because listening to your podcast, I don't care what you look like. I don't care if it's edited. That's what I love about podcasting. I just want to hear your character. I want to hear

a conversation. And I think you do a really good job of that and the audience I feel like would if they haven't listened would love your podcast oh thanks yeah you do a really good job I try I mean you guys are you guys are the inspo no you do a great job I mean you do so I think that everyone if they're looking for another podcast you have to like pimp that out right now oh my gosh thanks well it's called real pod and I've had Lauren on our great. Michael, I need to have you on too at some point. And yeah, the point of RealPod was to essentially bring the Instagram real posts to life in conversation and then give like other people the opportunity to share. My favorite thing is when someone's like, I've never said this before, but, and to me, that's like, wow, like you feel like this is a

place where you can do that. And I've had like Francesca Mariano from Chicks in the Office, Rod Phil from TikTok, like significant people, at least in my, you know, small social world, come on and talk about times they were depressed or they were anxious or things weren't great because that is what I want. That's what I care about more. I don't care about the success. Like as Dax Shepard says, you relate and you connect with people on almost the failures and the times that aren't great. You are wise, smart, articulate. You guys go listen to her podcast. It's on Dear Media. Michael's going to go on. I'm booking him right now. Next time we're here in March, you can come back anytime. I thought that conversation was really interesting because it's cool to hear every different side of it instead of just

a black or white side. You know what I mean? Pimp yourself out. Where can everyone find you? They can find me on Instagram at Victoria Garrick and then podcast is RealPod.

And honestly, from the Instagram, I feel like you can find everything these days. Everyone's got like the link in bio, TikTok's Victoria Garrick. And thank you both for having me.

It was such an honor to come on your show. Thank you for doing this. And I love this conversation too. I think it's so fun to like have a debate and hear sides of something that is really important that needs to be talked about more. Well, the reason I think, and like what I try to draw out is I think it's always the why. And I think you've done a really good job articulating, right? Like, again, like I actually agree with the majority of what you said, but I wanted you to, at least for this audience, to articulate how you came to these conclusions, which you did.

Thank you. And I'm always open to learning more. I think that I always like I'm trying to learn, even like me getting on tier media. I'm like, can I talk to the CEO? Because I don't know what I'm doing. I'm like, I need advice. I'm like, do you guys do like an orientation

where you teach us how to do this thing? You know, it's funny. Not that everybody should do this or needs to do this, but like- I need advice. And like, do you guys do like an orientation where you teach us how to do this thing? You know, it's funny. You're one of, not that everybody should do this or needs to do this, but like- No, careful. Careful. Careful.

At this point, careful. I think you're like one of the only talents that actually like wanted to reach out and talk to me. I saw you out so hard. I don't know if that's because I'm putting something out that like they can't or they shouldn't,

but it doesn't happen as frequently. So when you did, I was like, yeah, of course. I think it's so important. Anyone listening, anyone you meet, anyone that comes to guest in your class, anyone like just try to learn from them. I think there's always something to learn. And yeah, I never feel like I'm good enough,

almost in a way that does push me, but also in a way that I don't take enough time to just sit back and be like, oh, I'm proud of myself for being here. You know, there's always the next thing. I think you should do a podcast episode if you already have it on little things that you do to contribute to your overall success. So like that's a great one is like reaching out to the CEO or even someone in your class or a teacher and actually taking the time to pick their brain.

Yeah. I mean, I would love an episode on that, like little tips that you've done. I have so many people I can cite that I've like forced to do to do that. You and I talked. Yeah. And you sent me beautiful flowers. That was like above and beyond. Thanks. Yeah. No, I think that's a go getter. Thank you. You know what you want. Thanks. Thank you for coming on. You guys go follow her. Go look at her video. They got 12 million, 13 million viral views. It's wild. The app that stretches your body on video. What's it going to be next? A new head? I know it's ridiculous. Thank you both. Thank you for coming on. Come back anytime. Do not forget we are still doing the giveaway with ring concierge. Okay. She is giving away a diamond necklace. All you have

to do is tell us your favorite part of this episode or her episode on my latest Instagram to win. And the winner will be announced next week. This diamond necklace is so gorgeous. You're going to be obsessed. I hope you loved this episode with Victoria and make sure you follow her on Instagram at Victoria Garrett.